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Dec 1, 2021
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"Hyung." Jungkook hugs Taehyung's chest tighter. "I've never kissed anyone before." Taehyung shifts a little in place, heart thrumming a little louder now. "Yeah?" "Yeah." Jungkook nods. "Umm... can I kiss you?" #taekookau πŸ”ž Minors do not read/interact.

β€’ One β€’ Taehyung wonders if Jungkook knows what his touches do to him – what they set into motion inside his head, the thoughts they elicit. He wonders if Jungkook would ever touch him again if he knew.
And he can't lose Jungkook's touches. Can't lose the cuddles, the snuggling, the chaste kisses they often leave on each other's cheeks and napes. This is their love language, their little bubble, their familiar, safe haven – and he can never lose that.
So, he never tells Jungkook.
That from the moment Taehyung laid his eyes on him, some eight to nine years prior, when he was just returning from his vocal lessons, Taehyung had chosen him. He had decided that Jungkook was going to be his best friend.
Something about the quiet, incredibly shy maknae had spoken to him. And he had taken it upon himself to be his best friend too.
He never tells Jungkook that the lines between friendship and something more have been blurry for a while now. They disappear every time Jungkook so much as looks at him for more than a few seconds. They cease to exist whenever he wraps his arms around Taehyung without warning.
Taehyung never tells Jungkook that he's in love with him. Never tells him that he's been in love with him for years.
He doesn't tell Jungkook that, not even once out of the many times he slowly crawls into bed and onto Taehyung's chest like a kitten who wants to be held and loved.
He doesn't tell Jungkook that every time he spontaneously hugs Taehyung from behind, for no reason at all, his heart jumps in his chest.
He doesn't tell Jungkook that when he buries his head in the crook of Taehyung's neck, the latter just wants to turn his face a bit, and kiss the hell out of him.
He doesn't tell him that because he fears that Jungkook would never look at him the same way again. And having Jungkook close to him is better than not having him at all.
So, everytime Taehyung as much as hugs Jungkook, he takes in all of him like it's the last time. He holds onto every piece of Jungkook for dear life, like he's afraid that someone's going to take the boy away from him.
And at least Jungkook always returns the touch. He returns the smiles, returns the love. But much to Taehyung's dismay, it's never the same kind of love.
β€’ Two β€’ The line – the line which Taehyung already thinks is blurry, is first crossed a few days after Jungkook's 20th birthday, around the time of their DNA comeback.
Taehyung first notices how Jungkook is even touchier than usual – he did help Jungkook break out of his shell and be more free a couple of years back, but now it's definitely a notch above the usual.
Jungkook leans into his touches more, initiates a lot more touching himself and is in general extremely cuddly. Things shift one certain day when Jungkook is supposed to come over to Taehyung's room for a movie, – it's routine, nothing unusual. And yet, on that day, it is.
Once they're settled in bed and have decided on a movie to watch, Jungkook wraps his arms around Taehyung's torso and throws one leg over Taehyung's body.
"I'm not your pillow." Taehyung playfully scoffs, ruffling Jungkook's hair. "I know." Jungkook smiles up at him. "But I'm yours. You can't sleep without hugging me, remember?" "TouchΓ©." Taehyung giggles, and then starts the movie.
This feels good. Jungkook nestled against his body as usual, warmth traveling through every inch of Taehyung's skin. Taehyung wishes this would last forever. Even though Jungkook can't love him back the same way, Taehyung wishes for this – THIS, to never change.
Tonight, they're watching a romantic comedy (it was totally not Jungkook's idea) and they've watched several before. Honestly, it's nothing unusual or out of the blue. Until it is.
Where there's a sappy romantic comedy, there has to be a kiss too. And when said kiss plays on the screen, as usual, Taehyung wishes he could experience it with Jungkook. He keeps looking at the screen, waiting for the scene to be over and for the pain to pass.
It's not new, this feeling. But what he doesn't expect is for Jungkook to turn his face, look up at him and speak to him during the movie. Specifically, during the kiss scene. Jungkook NEVER talks during movies.
"Hyung." Jungkook hugs Taehyung's chest tighter. "Hmm?" Taehyung asks, surprised at him talking and also glad to be distracted from the depths of his own mind for a moment. "I've never kissed anyone before."
Taehyung's heart suddenly thumps so loud in his chest that he's afraid Jungkook might hear him. Still, he remains calm. Or at least, he tries. He shifts a little in place, heart thrumming a little louder now. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Jungkook nods, and it seems like he's snuggling up even closer now. And then, Jungkook drops the sentence Taehyung has only imagined in his wildest dreams. "Umm... can I kiss you?"
Taehyung isn't sure he hears it right at first. "What?" It comes out as a whisper, more raspy and less firm than he intends for it to be. He turns to look at Jungkook, their faces mere millimetres away.
Jungkook is looking at him with those huge, doe eyes that Taehyung is weak for. He can never say no to them. And he wishes Jungkook wasn't asking this, because this can be detrimental for Taehyung's own sanity.
"Kiss." Jungkook pouts a little, and Taehyung wants nothing but to give it to him right there. "Can I kiss you? Please hyung." Taehyung hesitates, and Jungkook picks up on his body language. He always does.
"I can't ask the other hyungs." Jungkook says. "I just want to try it. Want to see what it feels like. And you're my best friend. You're the only one I can ask without feeling ashamed."
And Taehyung, like the idiot that he is, the goner that he is for Jungkook, nods. Doesn't even ask a question, doesn't even resist. He knows Jungkook just wants to try, that once Taehyung kisses him it's going to unlock a whole new world of want and pain, but he nods anyway.
"Alright. Just once." Taehyung says, trying to look unfazed, wearing the same unbothered look he has on in public. Jungkook immediately grins and sits up, bunny teeth peeking out and the smile almost blinding Taehyung. "Thank you, hyung! You're the best!"
Taehyung rolls his eyes, acting like he can't stand Jungkook. "It won't be awkward right?" Jungkook asks, genuinely. "Also, you're sure, right?" And Taehyung, like an idiot, nods again. "Of course. No big deal." He raises one brow and smirks. It's a facade.
And then, Taehyung calms his heart and prepares himself – mentally, emotionally, and physically, to kiss Jungkook. If one kiss is all he gets, he's going to do it right, put in all of his experience to make it magical for both of them, and then hold on to the memory forever.
He kneels before Jungkook, mirroring his position. He can't help but let his eyes fall to his lips and then back up at his eyes. He holds Jungkook's cheeks in his hands, and softly asks. "Ready?" Jungkook nods.
Taehyung leans forward, ignoring the beating of his heart, and places his lips on Jungkook's. The kiss is chaste, so sweet and soft that it almost erases every doubt and fear in Taehyung's mind for a moment.
Jungkook doesn't really respond for the first few seconds, but if there's one thing Taehyung knows about Jungkook, it's that he's a fast learner. After those first few seconds, Jungkook puckers his lips and slowly parts them, surprising Taehyung.
Since he mentioned just one kiss, he doesn't want to break it to question Jungkook. He simply parts his own lips as well, taking Jungkook's in between his and doesn't use his tongue because he's not sure if Jungkook's ready for that.
Taehyung has kissed people before. Several times. Back in school, and also during his idol days (mostly to distract himself from Jungkook), but he stopped a while ago when he realised that it never helps. No matter how many people he kisses or sleeps with – they're not Jungkook.
They'll never be Jungkook. And this kiss right now – it is in no way perfect or as full of passion as Taehyung has always imagined what it will be like, but it's beautiful. It's precious. At least to Taehyung.
Taehyung pulls his lips apart from Jungkook's, and leans back into place. The little whiny movement Jungkook makes, as if wanting more, makes Taehyung just a little happy. But still, he knows it's not what he hopes for. It never is.
"So?" He asks Jungkook, falling back into the bed and acting casual, like his heart and mind aren't all over the place. "Happy now? Did you like it?"
Jungkook's eyes are wide, and Taehyung knows this look. This is the look Jungkook has on his face everytime he's amazed, in awe, or overwhelmed. Jungkook nods, eyes looking left and right and every where before finally settling on Taehyung.
"Hyung." Jungkook leans forward on all fours. "It was amazing. How did you do it?" Taehyung chuckles at that. "It wasn't even my 100%." "Really?" Jungkook's eyes go even bigger. "What is your 100% then?"
And of course, like the idiot that he is, Taehyung decides to ignore the one kiss rule he made minutes ago, and leans forward. He cups Jungkook's cheek again, and looks into his eyes and pretends that this is only kissing mentorship. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Just follow my lead." He softly says, noticing the way Jungkook listens intently, eyebrows drawn together in concentration. "Okay?" "Okay." Jungkook confirms.
"Tongue?" Taehyung asks permission. Jungkook nods. "I don't mind."
And so, Taehyung captures his lip in a deeper kiss this time, right from the get go. It's a little more rushed than he intends, because his body has started to react to everything. He hopes to not have an erection right now.
He delves deeper with his tongue while his lips move against Jungkook's mouth fluidly, and Jungkook, the ace he is, follows Taehyung's lead with almost perfection. His hands latch onto Taehyung's waist by default, like they do every time they hug.
And now, as Jungkook's arms tighten around him and his tongue teases at Taehyung's mouth too, Taehyung can't control the way his cock starts to harden inside his boxers. He would feel embarassed but it's not too hard yet, and his boxers are loose enough.
Jungkook withdraws this time, and then they wordlessly stare at each other for a few seconds. And before Taehyung can wonder what's happening, Jungkook lashes forward again and kisses him, pushing his body down against the bed in the process.
He places his strong arms on either side of Taehyung's body, and his thick thighs push down on either side of Taehyung's waist, while they make out. It goes on for a good few minutes, and Taehyung is far beyond gone at this point. Jungkook's mouth feels so good against his own.
And finally, Jungkook gets off of him, and while Taehyung is breathless, lips swollen, Jungkook breaks into a huge smile.
"What?" Taehyung asks, out of breath. "That was amazing." Jungkook says, eyes scanning the whole room. "Oh my God. I can't believe I've been missing out on this for so long." "Well, you aren't anymore."
"Thank you, hyung!" Jungkook embraces Taehyung against, sending a sudden jolt through his body. But it's not unwelcome at all. "It's okay." And then, Taehyung asks the one question which he already knows doesn't have the answer he desires.
But with that last shred of hope, especially now that they had just kissed, he asks. "Why did you want to know what kissing feels like?" He says, tone nonchalant but heartbeat erratically fast.
Jungkook shrugs. "Practice." The casual tone hurts a little. "With me?" Taehyung asks. "I'm sure you could find someone else if you wanted."
"Yeah, but what if I asked to kiss them and they started to expect something?" Jungkook explains. "And the other hyungs, they would throw me out if I asked. And neither did I feel like asking them."
"You're the only one who I was comfortable asking and who I knew might agree and still not make a big deal out of it." Jungkook continues. "I mean, imagine me kissing some noona and then they ask me to take them out on dates or something?!"
Taehyung doesn't find a word to explain how much the words hurt. How much they cut through him like a knife. And yet, he knows he can't admit the way he feels, not now. Especially not now. So, he steels himself against the pain, and puts on a smile. "Sure, it's not a big deal."
Jungkook nods. "Right? I knew you would understand, hyung. You always do. I just wanted to feel what it's like. Wouldn't want to fuck up when I kiss someone I like for the first time." Another knife. "Oh, I see. Do someone?"
Jungkook shakes his head. "No, not right now." Still better. "Okay." Taehyung nods. "But you know, kisses feel the best when exchanged with someone you love."
Jungkook smiles in response. "We'll see when the time comes. Anyway...." He checks his watch. "Umm, yeah." Taehyung sits up, trying hard not to let the tears out. "You should–" "Yeah yeah, I'll go." Jungkook gets up and runs his fingers through his hair.
Taehyung avoids looking at him because he's just so beautiful, and he loves Jungkook so much and he will never be his. He doesn't want to cry right now and have to explain it.
So he gets up and faces the bed, pretending to dust it off. But soon, those arms are wrapped around him again. "Good night, hyung." Jungkook places a soft kiss on Taehyung's head. "I will come back for more kisses, okay?"
Of course, Taehyung doesn't have the heart to deny him that. "Fine." He says, and Jungkook squeezes his waist one last time before leaving.
Once he's out, Taehyung shuts the door, locks it from inside and turns out all the lights. He climbs into bed and pulls his comforter over his body. And he cries. He lets the tears fall now, coming out with small sobs and sniffles.
Somehow, the kisses make everything so much worse. And he can't believe he agreed to more. He can't do this. He shouldn't do this. Maybe he'll tell Jungkook. Maybe later. For now, he just wants to sleep so he can escape the pain for a bit.
That's all for tonight! Please, please let me know in the qrts if you like it so far! Feedback is so, so important! πŸ₯Ί Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll be here for the subsequent updates as well! Take care, everyone! πŸ’—
β€’ Three β€’ It's definitely not the last time they kiss, because Jungkook comes over just as much as before now, but every time he does, he just wants to kiss Taehyung now.
Taehyung can't even be annoyed at it for his own sake because Jungkook asks so adorably, that saying no seems like the hardest thing to do. "You're getting addicted to kissing, I see." Taehyung tells him one night.
"Maybe if you weren't such a good kisser, I wouldn't ask for more." Taehyung's heart skips a beat at that, even though he knows it's not him Jungkook's doing this for. "You've had enough practice. It's been a week already."
"Hyung!" Jungkook whines, as he is splayed across Taehyung's bed. "But it feels so good. You have soft lips and you kiss really well. What if I never encounter someone who's as good a kisser as you?"
Taehyung playfully rolls his eyes at that, trying not to smile. "You can't keep kissing me feels good." "I can! Why not?" Jungkook says. "You said it's not a big deal. Don't you like kissing?"
"Yeah, but..." Taehyung doesn't know what to say. "Whatever." Jungkook giggles at that, and launches himself on Taehyung's chest. "Kiss?" And by now, we know what Taehyung's answer is.
This goes on for a couple of weeks, the hyungs unaware of what the two youngest have been doing behind their backs. It's not like Taehyung and Jungkook want to tell them, anyway. Except maybe, Taehyung feels guilty keeping it from Jimin.
Jimin is the only one who knows about Taehyung's feelings for Jungkook. Once he finds out, he'll probably kill Taehyung for keeping it from him for so long. But Taehyung doesn't have to wait.
A few weeks later, when they're at an award show, Taehyung finds Jungkook cozying up to him way too much. "Jungkookie." Taehyung whispers. "We're in public, come on. Look at the stage, not at me. Someone's performing. Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Hyung, our performance is still hours away." Jungkook whispers back. "And?" "And we have a lot of time." "" Taehyung asks, confused.
"Let's make out in the bathroom, hyung." Taehyung's eyes pop out as those words are whispered into his ears.
He nervously huffs a laugh. "You've got to be kidding me." "I'm not kidding." Jungkook says, doe eyes boring into Taehyung's skull from the side. Taehyung doesn't dare look at Jungkook, because once he catches a glance of those eyes, he knows he's going to give in.
And yet, when Jungkook tugs at the sleeve of Taehyung's suit, Taehyung looks, and his resolve breaks. "You're so annoying." Jungkook breaks into a big smile.
They leave one by one, trying not to create suspicion but Jimin is already eyeing them weirdly. He soon forgets though, because according to him, the youngest two always do act 'a little strange.'
Taehyung enters first, and when he's sure there's nobody else inside the bathroom, he signals Jungkook to come in. Jungkook locks the door and almost launches himself on Taehyung already, but Taehyung stops him.
"Oh my God, look at you." He half smirks. "At least wait until we're inside a stall." Jungkook sheepishly smiles and steps back, and follows Taehyung inside a stall. Taehyung locks the door.
"Now?" Jungkook asks, body leaning forward as if there's hunger inside him. "Can I kiss you, hyung?" Taehyung shakes his head and smiles. He hates that Jungkook is so fucking cute.
Now, up until now, all their make out sessions have been in Taehyung's bedroom, sometimes in Jungkook's, but it's always been gentle and slow. It rarely gets rough, and their hands don't wander a lot except at the waist or butt, rarely. They usually just kiss.
Taehyung is thankful, because that, his body can handle. He doesn't know what he'd do if Jungkook started to explore even more.
But now, as soon as Taehyung's expression permits Jungkook to kiss him, Jungkook pulls him in with a jolt, and while he kisses Taehyung, almost bites his lips instantly, his hands also tug at his clothes. Jungkook is seldom this rough.
Taehyung is out of breath already with the way Jungkook's hand cradles his face and also manhandles him, but the moment he loses it is when Jungkook's hand start to roam, and end up almost near his crotch.
He speaks into Taehyung's mouth. "I want more, hyung." "Jungkook." Taehyung whispers, guiding his hand away, back to his waist. "We can't."
Jungkook doesn't ask again, respects Taehyung's opinion. But instead, his grip on Taehyung's waist gets tighter and he sinks his teeth into his neck.
"Oh my God, you're going to leave marks!" Taehyung slaps Jungkook's shoulder. "Stop!" But the damage has already been done. Taehyung gasps as he separates his body from Jungkook, and rubs at his neck. It stings.
"Oh you're going to pay for this." Taehyung says, and pulls Jungkook in. "It's my turn now."
In the heat of the moment, Taehyung pulls Jungkook close and nips and sucks at his throat, while the latter lets out a little moan and shudders. They get so lost in it, hands wandering all over each other and lips meeting again in a rushed, sloppy kiss.
It's a few minutes later that they both come to their senses. Taehyung suddenly stills first, and Jungkook stops too, and then looks at Taehyung in confusion. Until he looks at his throat, and his eyes widen.
"Fuck." Taehyung says as he spots the bruise on Jungkook's neck. "Fuck, this was a bad idea. What was I thinking making it worse?" "Hyung..." Jungkook gently grazes the skin of Taehyung's neck with his thumb. "Yours is...pretty bad too."
"Okay." Taehyung breathes out, feeling stuffy inside the small bathroom stall. "Listen, let's not panic. We've got this." Jungkook nods, "We should be heading out."
"I don't even have my concealer on me right now." Taehyung whines. "Let's.. let's just act like nothing happened. They probably won't even notice." "Yeah." Jungkook says. "It's... we'll make something up." "If..." Taehyung looks at Jungkook with warning eyes. "They ask at all."
Jungkook nods. "Understood." "I'll head out first and check if there's anyone near the door, okay?" Taehyung asks. "I'll text you when it's safe. Don't move otherwise." Jungkook nods. So Taehyung nods too, and turns to leave.
But Jungkook grabs him by the wrist, stopping him and making Taehyung turn to face him again. "Hyung, wait." "Yeah?" Taehyung asks, genuinely confused, and also concerned if Jungkook can see the panic on his face right now, or hear how fast his heart is racing.
Jungkook bites his lips shyly, as he wordlessly pulls Taehyung a little more closer, before cupping his face and leaning in, pressing a soft, close-mouthed kiss to his lips this time. Somehow, this is even more devastating to Taehyung.
It's worse than the hormonally charged ones, because it gives his heart a flicker of baseless hope. He basks in the kiss, for the few seconds that it lasts, however. He lets himself enjoy it, and maybe for a moment, he pretends that this is real. That Jungkook is his.
But then he retracts. "Just wanted to..." Jungkook begins, but the sentence stays hanging. "You're addicted." "You're.." Jungkook lets out a little chuckle. "Your lips are addictive."
Taehyung pretends that it doesn't make him feel kind sort of way. "Are you going to let me leave?" He teases Jungkook, hiding the way he's having an inner breakdown right now. "Not if I could." Jungkook promptly shoots back. "I'm coming to your room tonight."
"You've been doing that everyday for a while now." "I'll come earlier and stay until longer this time." "Jungkook we need to get out of the bathroom stall." "Oh..." Jungkook snaps out of the conversation. "Right, sorry. Go."
Taehyung nods, and finally steps out. He carefully unlocks the main door of the bathroom, and checks around. Luckily, there's not a single soul here right now. He guesses everyone is enjoying the ongoing performances. The coast seems clear, so he texts Jungkook.
There's nobody here. I'll go back and sit down. Come out after a few minutes. Be careful.
Taehyung heads back, and sits down. Jimin gives him a weird look once but Taehyung just nods casually, not hiding the hickey because he feels like being nonchalant about it is the best way to go.
He sits down, and checks his zipper just to make sure. With how Jungkook is these days, he really can't trust him and his wandering hands.
A few minutes later, Jungkook walks back out, just as per their plan. But for some reason, Taehyung suddenly feels all hot and flushed remembering all the touches over his body, and can't even look Jungkook in the eye anymore.
Even when he sits down a few chairs away, Taehyung feels the thick tension between them. It's crazy how much of it originated just from some kissing practice.
β€’ Four β€’ Later that night after the show, when they're back at the dorm, Jungkook decides it's finally time to sneak into Taehyung's room. He's just about to take off, when Hoseok peeks into his door. "Hey, JK!" He greets.
"Hobi hyung." Jungkook is caught off guard. "Uh, yeah, what's up?" "Umm, I don't know what it's about but Namjoon said he wants to talk to all of us." "Okay...?" Jungkook says, confused. "Especially you and Tae." Jungkook freezes.
"Uh, okay." He says. "I'll be right there." Hoseok nods and leaves. Jungkook rushes to Taehyung's room, all his excitement gone and replaced by nervousness now. "Hyung." Jungkook whispers as soon as he opens the door. "I know." Taehyung sounds worried too.
"Do you think...?" Jungkook asks, eyes wide. Taehyung nods. "Most probably." Jungkook looks really upset. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Taehyung shakes his head, and extends his pinkie forward. "Partners in crime, remember?"
They head out together into the hall, where the rest of the members are seated around the coffee table. Bang PD is present there too, and Jungkook's heart is racing. They know.
"Sit." Namjoon says, expression unreadable. Jungkook and Taehyung oblige. "PD nim wants to talk." Namjoon says, and then stresses on his words. "To you."
"Look." PD nim begins. "Should I ask, or will you come clean yourself?" Taehyung can feel Jungkook tug on his t-shirt from behind, but he's also brave enough not to shudder. He exchanges a look with Tae, and they subtly nod at each other. It was just a matter of time, anyway.
"Is this about..." Taehyung lets his hand fly to his neck, fingers tracing the bruise Jungkook marked him with. "So you two are...?" Namjoon asks, genuinely stunned. "What?!" Jimin sounds betrayed. Jin looks disappointed, Hoseok shocked, and Yoongi pensive.
"Do you know the kind of stuff people are saying about those marks?" Bang PD says. "This is Korea, boys. It's not America. And you're idols. Don't do this to yourself. To the group." They remain quiet.
"It was all–" Jungkook begins, only to be cut off by Taehyung. "–My idea." He says, pressing Jungkook's knuckles to make him keep quiet. "It's nothing serious, we're just... We're just fooling around. We aren't even allowed to date, remember? One thing led to another, and..."
Everyone listens on, including Jungkook, who wonders how confidently Taehyung lies. How he doesn't stutter, how unbothered he looks. It just stings a little bit when he says it isn't anything serious, but Jungkook has no idea why. He thought he knew this too.
"Well, don't fool around then." Bang PD says. "This is your first and last warning, Taehyung and Jungkook." They nod, and tears bite at the inside of Jungkook eyes. He feels embarassed, disappointed, and so so upset.
And when Bang PD leaves, the members come up to them. "You." Jimin pulls Taehyung aside. "What is this about?" "I'll tell you everything." Taehyung sighs. He feels exhausted. "And it's not anything serious?" Jimin mimics the way Taehyung said. "Does he even know?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "And he must never, Jimin." "Well, it's not like you're going to fool around anymore, anyway." Jimin says. "Maybe it's for the best." Taehyung nods. "Yeah." And then, he wants to talk to Jungkook but he's already walking back to his bedroom.
Maybe the small lecture Bang PD just held on the downsides of being caught in such a situation as an idol really put him off. Maybe Taehyung should try to cheer him up. Even if he's breaking apart himself.
"Jungkook." Taehyung steps inside to find Jungkook leaning back in his bed. "You okay?" Jungkook shakes his head. "I'm scared." "Nothing's going to happen." Taehyung assures him. The PR team will take care of this. And it's not like we're going to do it again."
Jungkook snaps his head to look at Taehyung, eyes wide. "We won't?" "Yeah...?" Taehyung answers, unsure. "We were both present outside, right?" "So you're really not going to...kiss me anymore?" Jungkook asks. Taehyung sighs. "What's so special about kissing?"
Jungkook remains quiet. "You said you wanted practice. You've had a lot and you're a pretty fucking good kisser." Taehyung continues. "You are ready to impress whoever you decide to date."
But Jungkook doesn't really like the proposition. All he wants to do is grab Taehyung, shut him up and kiss him right here, on this very bed – kiss him breathless. There's just something about him, about their whole arrangement that Jungkook can't put a finger on.
"It's not that." Jungkook says. "I don't just want to kiss or practice kissing anymore." Taehyung crosses his arms, brows raised in question. "I..." Jungkook challenges himself to look Taehyung in the eyes as he says this. "I want to kiss you."
Taehyung's eyebrows draw closer together now, eyes focusing on Jungkook, making sure he actually mouthed those words. "What?" He dumbly says, because quite frankly, what? Jungkook's eyes droop down in annoyance and embarassment. "You heard me."
Taehyung knows it's not because Jungkook likes him. It must be because Taehyung's an exceptionally good kisser. Maybe Jungkook is just infatuated or something, who knows. He only knows that Jungkook doesn't feel the way he does.
"What is that supposed to mean?" "Well, you're a really good kisser for starters." Jungkook begins. "And I've always mentioned that you're handsome. So you know that I think you're attractive. And I don't know, maybe it's a mixture of those two factors."
Taehyung rolls his eyes. "You're so superficial." "Ugh." Jungkook says. "What did you think I'd say, that I'm suddenly in love with with you ot something?" The smile falls from Taehyung's face, hitting a nerve he didn't know was so sensitive.
"Shut up, don't be silly, go back to sleep." Taehyung tries to sound annoyed, but he really just wants to go back to his room. Everything fucking hurts all of a sudden.
He's turning to leave when he hears fast footsteps getting closer, and arms grip him from behind. "Wait!" Jungkook hooks his chin on Taehyung's shoulder. "Don't go, hyung." And Taehyung hates that he's so weak for that voice, those sweet pleas, those eyes.
"Did I do something to make you upset?" Jungkook asks, genuine concern filling his voice. "The fear of getting caught never stopped you before." "But we never had gotten caught until then." Taehyung reasons with whatever logic he can manage.
Jungkook's breath on his shoulder is distracting. But suddenly, the warmth is gone and he's let go. The breath is gone too. "Okay, I'm sorry. You don't have to, if you don't want to." Jungkook says, retreating. "Good night hyung. I hope you can tell me what's bothering you."
"Good night, Jungkook." Taehyung says, never fully turning back to look at him, as he shuts the door behind himself while leaving.
And they don't kiss after that – they really don't. It gets a little awkward for the first few days, when they subconsciously try to dodge each other at all times. Even during their schedules, they keep the interactions to a minimum. The members take note, too.
It's awkward for them as well, because the two youngest members who always used to be joined at the hips were...just not anymore. There's no grudge, no bad blood between Jungkook and Taehyung. But still, they just can't seem to interact like before anymore.
But slowly, as the days go by, they ease back into their former selves, ease back into being friends. Late night silly talks, movie nights resume, and they're back to being troublemakers again. The members are relieved too. All of them decide to forget whatever happened.
Taehyung and Jungkook are really happy to have each other back too. But Taehyung still feels like a part of his heart is empty. And Jungkook – something's been bugging Jungkook since the day his kisses were snatched away from him.
Which is probably why they eventually find themselves back at square one, just a few months after they thought they had put a stop to their little secret.
It's during the first fake love dance practice, when Jungkook lifts his shirt as a part of the choreography. Taehyung's seen his abs countless times before. But Jungkook is generally shy about it in public, hasn't really done this for a mv since their debut eras.
And suddenly, it dawns upon Taehyung that all the female staff members are ogling at him, gasping, taking his body in. While Jungkook keeps dancing, clueless.
Taehyung remembers being proud of the body Jungkook has built for himself. He remembers encouraging him to show it off more often. But right now, he wishes he was the only one witnessing it.
It's not a very strong feeling, though, and hence Taehyung dismisses it. But it's when a stylist kind of tries to flirt with Jungkook – Taehyung can tell from the way she's complimenting him, smiling, blushing, her body language, that he truly feels pissed off.
And he really can't control his words when he's with Jungkook a few minutes later. "That shirt lift is going to be crazy." Jungkook says, biting onto a cookie. "ARMY's are going to love it, aren't they?" "People already seem to love it." Taehyung says, a bite to his tone.
Jungkook stops chewing. "Why the fuck do you sound mad? What did I do now?" "I'm not mad!" Taehyung tries to sound calmer this time. It's not his place to feel this way, he has no right to be jealous over someone that's not even his in the first place.
"I know you better than you know yourself, hyung." Jungkook says. But Taehyung thinks it's not true, because otherwise how has he never realised? "Come on, tell me." Jungkook says.
"Nothing!" Taehyung sounds annoyed now. "Why don't you ask the staff who was trying to hit on you?" Jungkook pauses, the cookie suspended mid-air now. He processes it for a bit, before swallowing the bits in his mouth and speaking. "Hyung." He says. "Are you jealous?"
Taehyung immediately gets flustered, cheeks reddening. "Jealous?" He chortles. "Yeah." Jungkook teases, a little smug smile tugging at his lips. "You sure sound like it." Taehyung rolls his eyes. "I don't have time for your silly little theories."
Saying so, he walks to the other side of the practice room, and starts to go over some of the dance steps. He faces the other way because he's NOT going to look at Jungkook right now. Not right after he was caught. He looks at himself in the mirror, and focuses.
The only problems is, that a few moves later, his eyes land on Jungkook through the mirror, and Jungkook's watching. He's doing his own steps, sensually moving his body extra slow, and looking straight at Taehyung. He knows his vision isn't failing him – Jungkook is staring.
Taehyung suddenly feels extremely self conscious, and tears his eyes away from Jungkook. He sits, grabs a bottle of water and gulps it down in one go. He feels tired. "Hyung." He tells Hoseok. "I'll be right back."
What he doesn't notice is that when he storms off, Jungkook's eyes follow him, and he excuses himself from the dance practice session too.
Taehyung is only just bending over the bathroom sink when the doorknob turns, and Jungkook enters. Taehyung's heart races. "I could have been peeing." He scoffs, pointing at the toilet.
"I know you weren't." Jungkook says, crossing his arms. Taehyung used to love how Jungkook kept getting more and more confident but right now, he hates it. Hates how he's at the receiving end and feels cornered.
Taehyung sighs, shoulders dropping. "What is it, Jungkookie?" He gets chills when he hears Jungkook's footsteps approaching, and eventually when his presence looms over Taehyung's body. "You were jealous."
"Why would I be jealous?" Taehyung rolls his eyes and looks at Jungkook through the mirror, so he can see. "Because you want me." Taehyung's heart skips a beat. Does hs know? "Huh?" He manages. "Yeah, you want to make out with me."
Taehyung heaves a sigh of relief. "Not this again, Jungkook." Jungkook leans closer, caging Taehyung from both sides as he places his arms on the sink around Taehyung's body. Taehyung hates that he's all muscular and strong now.
Jungkook looks at Taehyung, straight into his eyes through the mirror, and brings his lips near Taehyung's ears. "If I kissed you now, you'd let me, wouldn't you?" He whispers, eyes never leaving Taehyung's.
Taehyung shivers, eyes fluttering shut as a response. It just happens, and his reaction is enough of an answer for Jungkook. "I knew it." Jungkook says, voice low and raspy against Taehyung's nape. "I never mentioned it but I knew it all these months."
"Stop.." Taehyung says, because it's getting unbelievably hard to control himself. "Stop because I don't want to do something and get us into trouble again." "I don't mind trouble if it means I get to kiss you."
"Jungkook." Taehyung opens his eyes, and a dry laugh escapes his lips. "You sound obsessed." He teases, a small smirk on his lips. Jungkook frowns, body pulling away slightly from where he's engulfing Taehyung in his hold. "I'm not obsessed. Excuse me?"
"Why else do you want to kiss me when–" Taehyung stops for a breath. "When literally anyone would sell their soul to kiss you. You're Jeon Jungkook." The frown doesn't leave his face. "I'm not obsessed, hyung. I just really enjoy kissing you and I miss it. So much."
Taehyung opens his mouth to say something, but Jungkook beats him to it. "And for the record, you're Kim Taehyung." He's staring through the mirror again. "Everyone would sell their soul to kiss you, too."
Taehyung rolls his eyes. He knows Jungkook is a lost cause. "You're so annoying. I would kiss you, not because I want to – because it would make you happy. But the problem is, you will keep asking for more." It's a lie. He definitely wants to.
"Hyung!" Jungkook whines. "Nobody will find out, I promise you." "That's what we thought the last time too." Taehyung says. "No more being horny on award shows." Jungkook does his puppy eyes again, and Taehyung knows he's doing it on purpose. "I promise."
It's stupid. Taehyung agreeing to this is stupid, and yet, he can't help the butterflies that erupt inside him and the smile that paints his face when his heart gives in, when his mind gives in. When his body gives in. It hurts, but there's momentary happiness in it.
He turns around, Jungkook's arms still loosely around him, and cups his face with one hand. "You're such a brat." Jungkook smiles in return, and without exchanging a single word, locks lips with Taehyung.
It's a hungry kiss – mostly on Jungkook's part. Rushed, sloppy, and even better than Taehyung remembers these being. Jungkook's hands wander all over Taehyung's body, and this time, Taehyung doesn't stop him.
"Fuck, I missed this so much." Jungkook whispers in between kisses, out of breath. "I don't know how to stop." And Taehyung almost can't believe that Jungkook enjoys kissing him so much that he refuses to replace him. If only he felt more than just physical attraction for him.
And just when Taehyung is lost in his thoughts, Jungkook lifts him, slams him against the sink so he's sitting on it and Jungkook is in between his legs. "Hyung, I can't stop." Jungkook whispers against Taehyung's neck, the two of them hot and super breathy.
"Don't." Taehyung says. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Jungkook doesn't stop, he keeps kissing every surface and crevice of Taehyung's body like it's the last time. "Hobi hyung will start to look for us." He says in between kisses.
"Jungkook...." Taehyung suppresses a moan. "Let's... Let's meet in my room tonight, yeah?" Jungkook stops kissing him and looks at him. "Yeah?" Taehyung nods. "Let's get back to practice."
He tries to climb down, but Jungkook stops him. He's looking into Taehyung's eyes, an unreadable expression on his face, like he's searching for something. Taehyung wants to ask, but before he can, a sweet kiss is being planted to his lips.
"I missed this so much." Jungkook says. "Can't wait for tonight." And Taehyung doesn't lie this time. "Me neither, Jungkookie."
The rest of the dance practice passes in stolen glances, suppressed smiles, secret messages exchanged over text. It almost feels like high school love, except it isn't. It isn't love at all, not reciprocated anyway.
It's strange, the way Jungkook is acting. It's even stranger that Taehyung agreed to this again. Even though he knows how this is going to end for him.
And so, that night, when Jungkook sneaks into Taehyung's room, Taehyung welcomes him with a shy, knowing smile. There's a lot of pain behind it, but he saves it for some other day to mope over. After all, he wants Jungkook just as much as Jungkook wants him, if not more.
And even if it's just like this, it's okay. At least it makes it easier to pretend that they have something more than friendship. In a twisted sort of way, it puts Taehyung's mind at ease sometimes.
And he really doesn't want to hope for more, wants to accept the end result as he knows it's going to be, but then, Jungkook brings it up again. They're kissing, with Taehyung perched on Jungkook's lap, who in turn is leaning against the headboard of the bed.
"So..." Jungkook pulls apart, only to kiss him again. "You were jealous?" Taehyung suddenly frowns, and pulls back. "No, I was not." "Do you think I'm stupid?" Jungkook chuckles. "Can we not have this conversation right now?" Taehyung's head rolls back in frustration.
"I kind of liked it." Jungkook admits. Taehyung rotates his head again, to look at him. "Liked what?" "That you were jealous." Jungkook chews on his bottom lip, eyes on Taehyung. "That you wanted me to yourself."
"Get your head out of your ass!" Taehyung's playfully slaps Jungkook on the chest, and leans in again. But before they can kiss, Jungkook whispers something that makes Taehyung freeze. "If I saw you with someone else, I'd be jealous too, hyung."
Taehyung is too stunned to react, doesn't know what that means. "What?" He dumbly asks, trying to kill off the little flicker of hope that bubbles in his chest. "Yeah." Jungkook says, eyes roaming across Taehyung's face. "Is that bad?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "No, but... Why would you be jealous?" "Why were you?" Jungkook shrugs. "I don't know, because I don't want you to kiss anyone else." "Why?" Taehyung asks, fingers tracing the shape of Jungkook's jawline. "I mean, we're just friends."
Jungkook captures Taehyung's fingers in his own. "We are?" Taehyung stills. "Aren't we? I mean, we said this wasn't a big deal, right?" His heart is beating like crazy.
"Yeah but..." Jungkook trails off. "It feels a little different now." "Like what?" "I don't know." Jungkook says. "Friends with benefits? No strings attached?" Taehyung jokes, laughing at his own misery more than at the situation.
"No..." Jungkook frowns, looks almost offended. "That sounds very off." "Then what is this?" Taehyung says. "This. Us." "More than friends, maybe?" Jungkook says. "I don't want to label it. Can't we just be Jungkook and Taehyung who love kissing each other?"
And in an impulsive moment of stupidity, Taehyung takes a chance. "Yeah, I love kissing you." He says. "I also love you." He lets it slip before he can stop himself. Jungkook hums. "I know. I love you too, hyung." Not in that way, Taehyung wants to say, but stops himself.
Maybe this isn't the time. "Say, if one of us were to catch feelings for the other, because we already love each other, are so close, and are now intimate as well..." Taehyung tries to explain. "And the other doesn't. What would we do in that case?"
Jungkook smiles. "I think we would both catch feelings at the same time. We've always been on the same page." Taehyung sighs. Jungkook really is a lost cause. He tries again.
"Say, hypothetically, I fall for you, and you don't." He tries to sound nonchalant. "What then? If I tell you, it might ruin our friendship and make things weird and messy. And I'd also be hurting and pining over you."
Jungkook thinks for a moment, before he answers. "Then I'd find you someone even better than me." And the problem is, he looks dead serious as he says it.
"But what if I only want you?" Taehyung cups his face, lets his true feelings show through his eyes. Hopes Jungkook doesn't see. Jungkook doesn't answer. Instead, he kisses Taehyung again, sucking on his lips while his hands tease at Taehyung's nipples from over his shirt.
The question is left hanging in the air, and Taehyung knows there's no point stretching this out any longer. Moreover, the pleasure is clouding his logical thinking capabilities, and his body just gives in to Jungkook.
"In that case, I'd kiss you just like this, and hope it fixes everything." Jungkook says.
Taehyung holds his chin in between his fingers and thumb. There's no point in this conversation, and he's far too in this mess to go back anyway. So he tips Jungkook's chin upwards, and parts his lips. Jungkook follows, and then Taehyung closes his around Jungkook's lower.
They establish a slower pace this time, lips moving in sync. Taehyung darts his tongue into Jungkook's mouth, and of course, Jungkook reciprocates.
Not just with his tongue, but with his whole body. His hands, in the way he pulls Taehyung closer, and in the way Taehyung feels him growing hard against himself.
Jungkook's hands once again wander and reach Taehyung's crotch, but this time Taehyung doesn't stop him. He doesn't interrupt when Jungkook rubs his hand over Taehyung's cock, or when he grinds forward slightly, the friction almost driving him over the edge.
"Is this okay?" Jungkook asks, voice just a whisper. "Is it okay if I touch you here?" Taehyung nods. "It's okay." Jungkook nods, continues kissing him, and before Taehyung can make sense of anything, Jungkook's hand in slipping into his waistband.
Small strokes on his cock with Jungkook's fingers wrapped around him, coupled with the way he kisses him – Taehyung thinks none of this is real. It's all a dream, something his mind has made up.
Until the strokes pick up speed, and Jungkook's kisses become more carnal, and Taehyung spills into his hands. He can't believe Jungkook just jerked him off. "I'm sorry." He says, looking at the mess he's made once he's off from the high of his orgasm.
Jungkook doesn't reply, just kisses him, like there's nothing sticky in his hands and on his shirt right now. Like it's not gross, like he doesn't mind the mess Taehyung's bodily fluids have made. Like he doesn't care. Like it's okay.
"We're messy." Taehyung complains, embarassed. "I should clean up." "I'll do it." Jungkook presses another kiss to his lips and climbs off, grabbing tissues before he comes back and wipes Taehyung and himself off. This is just so, so strange. It doesn't make sense.
Jungkook acts like they're boyfriends, and this hurts. Taehyung stiffens at the thought, and pulls his pants back up. "Okay, umm, you can go back now."
Jungkook frowns, as he settles into bed. "What are you doing?" Jungkook pulls the duvet over himself. "Getting into bed...?" "This is my bed."
"Like I haven't slept here a hundred times before." "Jungkook, go back to your room." Taehyung says, unable to say how harmful it would be for his heart to do this right after they had full on foreplay. But then, he realizes he isn't one to talk.
He's knowingly indulged Jungkook, despite knowing that none of this would lead to anything good anyway. So he sighs. "Fine, whatever." He puts a pillow in between them before he lies down.
"What the fuck is this?" Jungkook huffs, annoyed. "Why is there a pillow in between us?"
"What do you mean why?" Taehyung scoffs. "We're not a couple, what harm does it do?" "Are you serious?" Jungkook says. "We have never been a couple. Why are you only placing this here now? I've been sleeping in your bed for the last seven years."
"Good night, Jungkook." Taehyung says, closing his eyes, and hoping Jungkook's going to drop it. Of course, he doesn't.
"Hyung." He whines. "Remove it, please." Taehyung clicks his tongue in annoyance. "What does it matter, Jungkook?" Jungkook says it so softly, that Taehyung almost thinks he imagines it. "I want to cuddle."
This is how they would look in these/the coming parts of the story! (Fake love era.) Hope the visuals make the story come even more alive and more fun to read! β™‘ Good night for now! Please interact and qrt with your feedback, thank you! β™‘
Taehyung sighs, arm already moving backwards to grab the pillow and yank it towards their feet. "Come." He says, raises the duvet to make space for Jungkook right beside him. Jungkook smiles widely, and immediately slides towards Taehyung.
His chest slams against Taehyung's back, and legs fold to perfectly slot against Taehyung's form. He puts his arms around Taehyung – like he often has, and it's never been a big deal before. But right now, Jungkook likes it so much more than usual.
He dips his nose into the crook of Taehyung's neck. Taehyung smells so good, he always does. "I'm ticklish." Taehyung says, voice sleepy. Jungkook ignores his whine, and promptly presses a kiss to his neck. He doesn't know why he does it, they're not even making out.
He just wants to, and he's okay with that reason. Taehyung doesn't negatively react to it, so he thinks it's fine. His arms wrap a little tighter around Taehyung, and he peppers a few more of those kisses along the curve of his neck.
Kissing Taehyung feels addictive. As lies there, he realises that it's not just his lips – but every part of him. Something heavy settles upon him, but be decides he's going to deal with that later.
For now, he nuzzles into Taehyung's neck and decides to enjoy this moment. "Good night, hyung." He whispers into Taehyung's ears, and hopes it doesn't sound half as as mushy as he feels.
β€’ Four β€’ Jungkook has never really known jealousy stemming from romantic feelings. He's felt jealous of his brother before when he was younger, when he got something better from their parents. He's felt jealous of his friends back in school when they had cooler erasers.
He's felt jealous when Taehyung spent more time with his Hwarang hyungs than with him and the members – because it felt like his best friend was being stolen away. But he has never felt jealousy quite like this before.
When he excitedly struts out of his clothes post schedule, showers and puts on his pajamas so he can sneak into Taehyung's room early, he doesn't think that they would have a guest over at this hour. But they do.
As he walks in the direction of the kitchen to grab a quick bite, he hears happy voices coming from the living room. And when he walks over, he spots Taehyung's actor friend, Park Bogum. Why is he at their dorm?
Jungkook's brow furrows on its own accord, as he just stands there clueless. He remembers Taehyung going on a trip with this guy last year, and having lots of fun. Jungkook remembers being super bored without him, too.
"I came to see Taehyungie because I just landed in Seoul." Bogum says. "And all of you too, of course!" Jungkook doesn't even realize that his tongue is poking into his cheek in annoyance. Bogum sounds a little too affectionate.
"Oh, Jungkook!" Bogum spots him then, and smiles warmly. "The little one, growing bigger and stronger every day." Jungkook internally huffs. Little one, his foot. Does this man even know the things his Taehyungie does with the little one?
"Hello, Bogum hyung." Jungkook puts on a fake smile and bows. "I'll– I was just going." He points his thumb in the direction of his room and momentarily glances at Taehyung. Taehyung's looking at him, gets the hint, but doesn't budge.
Jungkook doesn't understand. "Okay, Jungkookie, can we play Overwatch tomorrow?" Taehyung says instead. "I'm gonna catch up with hyung now!" Taehyung looks happy in Bogum's presence, too. And his smile means everything, yet, it stings right now."
"Oh okay, no biggie!" Jungkook dismisses. "I'll just– yeah." And he retreats back to his own room, muttering curses under his breath. He hurried and washed himself up to sneak some extra minutes with Taehyung and for what?
For Bogum to show up and take the spotlight. Jungkook huffs as he closes the door behind himself. What if this man's been harbouring a crush on Taehyung?
Jungkook shakes his head, he really really really wanted to spend time with Taehyung. Not playing Overwatch, of course. He picks up his phone and texts him.
– Hyung how long will it be? The reply is almost instant. – Don't wait up, Jungkookie. Jungkook's heart drops.
He puts his phone aside and lies down on his bed, facing the ceiling. Why did Bogum have to show up? He sighs, and remembers last year. They had so much fun on their little trip, but Jungkook feels the belated jealousy really hitting him right now, months later.
He hates that he's feeling jealous – possessive of Taehyung, in a way that he hasn't really felt before. It's uneasy, unsettling. Forget Bogum. What if Jungkook himself is harbouring a crush on Taehyung?
He shakes the thought off. This is dangerous territory. He's already made the mistake of telling Taehyung that it feels like they're more than friends. He doesn't want to act all clingy and desperate now. Suddenly, he even regrets the text he just sent Taehyung. Cringes at it.
It's not like there's a specific name to what they're doing. It's a murky, blurry area. Jungkook has no right to be jealous. Taehyung is having a good time with his friend, he should be happy about it. And yet, it feels totally off.
Jungkook wants Taehyung to be with him instead, right now. In his arms, soft lips against Jungkook's own. The thought elicits memories and sends goosebumps throughout his skin.
Jungkook doesn't even know when he fell asleep. When he opens his eyes and checks his phone, three hours have passed already. He sighs, and lets his head sink back into the pillow, and lets his mind drift off. Until he hears a soft knock on his door.
He knows that knock. Is happy it's him. But he feels oddly annoyed right now. He gets up and opens the door to Taehyung's sheepish smile. "Hey." Taehyung's eyes are questioning. Jungkook doesn't answer, but moves to the side of the door to let Taehyung in.
When he shuts the door, Taehyung speaks again. "Sorry that took a while. I met him after so long, there was so much to talk about!" Taehyung beams. Jungkook just hums in response, unable to even look Taehyung in the eye.
"What's wrong?" Taehyung asks. "I thought you must have slept." "I did." "Oh, did I wake you up?" Taehyung asks. Jungkook shakes his head no. "No, I woke up a few minutes ago."
"Why do you sound so off?" Jungkook just shrugs. "What? No I don't." "Yes you do." Taehyung says. "Well, I was expecting to spend the last three hours with you instead of mindlessly dozing off."
Taehyung's jaw ticks. "So should I just have sent Bogum hyung off? Asked him to leave so I could come in here and make out with you?" "What? No." Jungkook says. "It's not just about making out. Don't act like I don't enjoy your company otherwise, hyung."
Taehyung huffs and throws his head back, arms crossed. "You're unbelievable. And acting so self-centered right now. Not everything is about you, Jungkook." Jungkook feels even more annoyed right now. "Why are you picking a fight with me over nothing?"
"Over nothing?!" Taehyung snaps, voice a little louder. "Jungkook. I'm angry because you're acting incredibly entitled right now." "Hyung..." Jungkook tries to reach out, but Taehyung puts up a hand. "Stop." Taehyung then pinches the bridge of his nose.
Jungkook's making this harder from him than it already is. Trying to spend more time around his other friends is just a way to make sure he doesn't pin his hopes on Jungkook, but Jungkook just keeps acting like they're together. When that couldn't be farther from the truth.
His eyes moisten up a little. "Hyung..." Jungkook's voice is suddenly small. "Why are you crying?" "Because you're making this hard." "What did I do? You're taking this the wrong way."
Taehyung shakes his head. "Maybe this whole arrangement we have, it was a ridiculous idea." Jungkook's heart sinks again. "No, don't say that." "I think I'll be off for the night." Taehyung says, and exits the room. "Good night, Jungkook."
"Hyung, wait." Jungkook says, because what was all of this even about? He needs an explanation, but Taehyung doesn't stop. And Jungkook's just left there standing, waiting, wondering.
The hurt turns into extreme pain, disappointment, and then anger. He slams the door shut, and goes back to bed. He doesn't need the fucking 'arrangement'.
Would love to hear what you think of it so far, and of this update!
β€’ Five β€’ Jungkook doesn't get sleep that night. He said to himself about how he doesn't need the arrangement – but he can't think about anything else. Can't think of anyone but Taehyung. It's crazy how centred his thoughts are around Taehyung these days – if only he knew.
He somehow manages an hour before he has to wake up, but his mood feels sour after what went down between them, and an incomplete nap only worsens it. Jungkook feels cranky, angry. Doesn't want to do whatever is scheduled for the day. He doesn't even want to meet Taehyung's eye.
After his morning run in the bathroom and taking a shower, he carefully takes little steps towards the kitchen for breakfast, hoping that he doesn't run into Taehyung. It's better than seeing him and having an air of tension around them.
He grabs a bowl of cereal and milk, and quietly makes his way to the dining table. He takes a seat, digs into his breakfast and thinks he's about to get away with it. But no – Taehyung walks right in, fresh after a shower, looking as handsome as ever.
After Jungkook catches a glance, he quickly ducks his head and only concentrates on his bowl of cereal. It's unfair that Taehyung gets to look this beautiful when Jungkook doesn't even feel like talking to or confronting him – It only makes it harder not to.
Still, Jungkook maintains his resolve. He's stubborn like that. He refuses to look up and have any sort of eye contact or verbal exchange with Taehyung. And Taehyung must sense it, because he doesn't initiate any kind of conversation either.
He only grabs his breakfast and walks back to his room in silence. And that pisses Jungkook off even more. His spoon clinks against the ceramic bowl at his unnecessarily violent scoops into the milk and cereal – he suddenly feels a little hotter in the head.
Forget having a conversation, if Jungkook trusts his peripheral vision, Taehyung didn't even spare him a glance. Shouldn't he at least try to talk to him about what happened? After he accused Jungkook of so many things, he's just... normal? So indifferent?
Jungkook feels angrier by the second. They're best friends, and Taehyung didn't even say a word to him. Neither did he, but he wasn't the one accusing the other of being entitled and selfish and trying to pick a fight. And then, Jungkook thinks – fuck it.
If Taehyung's going to be like this, he isn't going to try and mend things either. Taehyung can chill with Bogum or even date him for all Jungkook cares. He gets up and carries his empty bowl to the kitchen, washing it as his mind fills up with thoughts of what to do.
He doesn't have the energy to keep this push and pull going either – if Taehyung doesn't want to continue what they've been doing, maybe Jungkook should back off too. Maybe he should try to get some space and distract himself because being around Taehyung hurts.
Just thinking about it brings back all the memories, and Jungkook's shoulders slump. Suddenly, he feels so unwanted by Taehyung. His words feel like rejection, and it makes Jungkook super upset. He stations himself against the counter, and lets out a breath.
He turns around, eyes falling on the closed door of Taehyung's room. His resolve breaks momentarily as he considers knocking, going in and trying to talk it out one more time. But then, Taehyung's words from last night play in his mind again, and he stops himself. He can't.
It's at practice that day that Taehyung notices Jungkook being uncharacteristically quiet. He is on the quieter, more reserved side, yes. But this? This is not normal.
Taehyung intentionally avoided Jungkook this morning at the dining table because he didn't want their conversation to be brought up and for them to have an argument first thing in the morning. But it looks like Jungkook is full on avoiding him – for even the rest of the day.
He doesn't want to keep going the way they are – it hurts him a lot. But Jungkook clearly trying to dodge him also stings. He hates having strained moments with Jungkook, out of all people. He wanted to talk to him when they were both calm, cooled off.
But Jungkook looks like he doesn't want to talk at all. Taehyung frowns at that, wiping his sweat as he leans against the giant mirror on the wall, eyes on Jungkook as he executes each move perfectly.
Every day, Jungkook unknowingly reminds Taehyung of why he's so in love with the former, and every day, the realisation hurts the same, if not more. Taehyung takes in a deep breath, and gets up when he sees the others move away. He's going to talk to Jungkook.
He takes slow, measured steps towards Jungkook, crossing his arms. Jungkook looks at him once through the mirror but is quick to shift his glance back. Like even looking at Taehyung annoys him. Taehyung inwardly winces a little at that.
The rest of them haven't really noticed or caught on yet, as they're all sitting in a group at the other end of the enormous practice room. Taehyung clears his throat. "Jungkook. Can we talk?"
"I'm dancing." Jungkook says. Just that. "You've been dancing for an hour. You can take a break now." Taehyung says. "I don't want to." "You don't have to want to, you need a break–" "I don't want to talk." Taehyung stills.
"Jungkook. Are you that mad at me?" "I'm not mad at you. I just need space." Jungkook says. Half lies. "I think we should have a proper talk about–" "Shit! You really can't leave me alone and give me some space when I ask for it?" Jungkook snaps, voice loud.
Taehyung is taken aback, eyes wide, heart suddenly throbbing in his chest. It's like his body takes a step back on its own at the impact, and Taehyung feels his throat run dry. Jungkook just yelled at him. The other members too go quiet, and snap their necks to look at them.
"Hey!" Namjoon calls out to them. "Easy. What's wrong?" "Taehyung and Jungkook are fighting?" Hoseok says in disbelief.
"No, we're not." Taehyung assures them, and then looks back at Jungkook. Tries again, gentler this time. "Jungkookie?" Jungkook curses under his breath again, grabbing a towel to dab at his wet, sweaty skin. He wordlessly walks towards the bathroom, grabbing some of his stuff.
Taehyung stands there, still shocked and hurt. "Tae?" Jimin says. "What is this about?" But Taehyung feels the energy drain out of his body as everything hits him all at once. He leans against the mirror, slumps down on the floor and sighs. This didn't go as expected.
The rest of them try to ask Taehyung about it, because he seems like the calmer one between himself and Jungkook. And they try asking him afterwards, but he only dances around the topic, never actually addressing it.
Over the next few days, the tension between him and Jungkook is so palpable that the members stop asking, and just quietly try to make the mood lighter. Even when they ask Jungkook, he shrugs like it's nothing. Like it's just some small quarrel.
But it's killing Taehyung inside. It's killing him to see Jungkook slowly slipping away from him, and he feels more helpless than ever. It's all his fault. He never should have agreed to kiss Jungkook in the first place.
It's what's led to this disaster – Jungkook never looks at him, let alone send smiles his way or smile at him, anymore. Taehyung feels emptier than ever – even with his best friends around and a successful career. His favorite person doesn't even give him the time of the day.
After the time Jungkook yelled at him, they haven't exchanged a single word, and it's been four whole days. If Taehyung is being completely honest, he would go upto Jungkook and kiss him if that meant them getting back to normal. But he's so scared of that backfiring as well.
He gathers all of his courage one night after a week has passed, though, and walks up to Jungkook's door after he knows everyone is asleep. He is about to knock, when he hears a familiar noise coming from within. Taehyung freezes.
He waits for the sound to come again, so he can be sure, and when it does – Taehyung knows his ears aren't deceiving him. He knows that noise. He's heard Jungkook make it before. He knows Jungkook's pleasure-filled moans well now.
Taehyung wonders of Jungkook is jerking off, if this is a wrong time and is about to turn around, when Jungkook speaks, and the hair on his back stands straight. "Yeah, baby. Yeah." Taehyung freezes. He's talking to someone.
Taehyung's heart sinks – takes a big, sudden plunge all at once as the realisation dawns upon him. He retreats, walking backwards at first, until he turns around and runs towards his room. When he's inside, he shuts the door, bolts to his bed and gets in. The tears come soon.
They stream down his face because by far, this hurts the most. The idea of Jungkook not being his does hurt but this is just killing him. Already. He sobs into his pillow, forcing himself to accept what he just heard. But he can't bring himself to.
He did want to stop everything – but he was ready to resume it just so Jungkook would act normal around him again. But this – what even was that? He can't even go back and try to hear again – it would be extremely invasive. He doesn't want to pry.
He sobs until sleep consumes him and he passes out. When he wakes up in the morning, the first thing he thinks of is Jungkook. His moans. The voice. Him calling someone 'baby.'
He takes a shower and hopes it will wash off some of this heavy feeling, but it doesn't. He walks out to get breakfast – it's late, everyone else has probably eaten already. They don't have anything scheduled so maybe everyone is doing something on their own.
After he's done with breakfast, suddenly, Jungkook walks in and their eyes meet, but he is quick to avert his gaze. "Hyung! Namjoon hyung! Jin hyung! All of you."
Taehyung watches on in confusion, standing there even though Jungkook ignores him. Everyone comes out eventually, and they throw the same question at Jungkook, asking why he called for them.
Jungkook sits them all down around the coffee table, and Namjoon gestures to Taehyung to join them. Taehyung looks at Jungkook first, worried that he wouldn't want him there. But when Jungkook doesn't even spare him a glance, he sighs and walks over to where they are sitting.
He sits down next to Jimin, sinking back into the sofa, and squishing himself into the little available space. He doesn't dare look at Jungkook. Can't. Not after last night.
Then, Jungkook speaks. "I have an important question. I'm curious about something." The rest of them look at each other, confused. They all look at Taehyung for some reason, but Taehyung just looks at his fingers, picking at his nails. He's hearing everything, though.
"What?" Namjoon asks him first. Jungkook sighs, joining his hands together between his knees and leaning forward. Hoseok smacks him. "Hurry up, you're making me anxious." Everyone else agrees with him.
Jungkook throws one quick, unnoticeable glance at Taehyung first, and when he sees that Taehyung isn't even looking, he looks at Namjoon, and the rest of them, one by one. "Do you think it's going to be a problem if I date an idol from some girl group?"
Let me know your thoughts about this update! Hope you enjoyed reading today. ☺️☺️
The words cut through Taehyung like a knife. He doesn't look at Jungkook like the rest of them do, but he can feel tears stinging his eyes and an ache in his throat. What did Jungkook just say?
Suddenly, Taehyung feels like it's hard to breathe. He feels all choked up and everything around him blurs. Hurts. Through the muffled chaos of everyone else, all he can hear is Jungkook's filtered voice. "No, I just came back from a date with her. She's nice."
And that's when Taehyung decides, that he doesn't care what the others think of this – he doesn't care if they know from his reaction. But it fucking hurts to just sit here and listen to all of this. So he gets up, excuses himself and leaves without sparing Jungkook a glance.
Jungkook notices the way he storms off. Everyone does. "What's with him?" Hoseok says, confused. Namjoon's eyes intently follow Taehyung, and then he looks at Jungkook. "Come on, we're not Bang PD. You can be honest. What's going on?" Jungkook sighs. "Nothing, hyung."
"I'm not stupid, Jungkook. None of us are." Namjoon warns. "Did some shit go down between you and Tae? He already looked upset, and just walked off in the middle of the conversation." "How would I know what's wrong with him?" Jungkook crosses his arms adamantly.
"Do you want us to make you and him sit together in front of all of us and then sort it out?" Yoongi asks, arms crossed and tone serious. "Come on. Why is he upset?" Jungkook feels annoyed. "We had a fight. I don't want to talk about it."
Jimin rolls his eyes. "We know. We saw it. But about what?" Jungkook groans. "Gosh, you guys. Stop it, please." "Not until you tell us. We've been quiet for a week, Jungkook." Jungkook sighs. "I'm not sure you'd like to hear what this is about."
"You like him don't you?" Seokjin casually says, leaning back on the couch. Jungkook's face turns red. "Huh. Wh-what?" "We figured." Jimin adds.
"No I don't. I don't like him. I like my new girlfriend." "Really?" Namjoon says. Then, he smiles, dimples appearing. "What's her name, then?" Jungkook stares back at him, wide eyed. He doesn't know, because he doesn't even care. "I know her name. I just..I can't remember."
Jimin rolls his eyes so far back his skull that they might as well just get stuck in there permanently. "You're such an idiot, Jungkook." Jungkook tries to be a little less stubborn. "Hypothetically, even if I did like him, it's not like you guys would support it."
Jungkook receives a cushion straight on the face, and it comes from Yoongi's direction. "What did you say? We wouldn't support you?" Jungkook rubs his nose, hurt from the hit. "Didn't all of you ask us to stop it when last the award shows..." His words trail off.
"Because it looked like you were fooling around. Because it was trouble. Because Bang PD-nim came to know. Because we were all scared, too." Namjoon says. "It doesn't seem like fooling around anymore. And if you guys really like each other, why wouldn't we support you?"
Yoongi points at him and nods. "Get it?" Jungkook sinks back in his seat. "Okay, maybe I do like him a little bit?" "And he likes you too, Jungkook." Jimin says. "He likes you a lot. I'm not supposed to disclose this but he does."
"What even is this female idol shit about?" Hoseok asks. "Are you trying to make him jealous?" Jungkook huffs, face contorted in mockery. "....No?" Hoseok continues. "You're such an idiot. Have you talked to him? You totally shut him off."
"Communication is so important, Jungkook-ah." Namjoon squeezes his wrist. "Talk to him. Why are you guys acting like kids?" Jungkook relaxes into the touch, relaxes knowing that his hyungs have his back. "I don't know. I was just so angry." "And what about this girl?"
Jungkook scoffs. "She's so fucking boring. I didn't want to make hyung jealous, but just went because I was mad and wanted to get him off my mind. But...she doesn't even hold a candle to him. And people are crazy about her." "Wow, you're in deep." Jimin comments, brows raised.
"And she's so pretty, but I just... I kept thinking of Taehyung hyung." Jungkook lets all the emotions flow out, before he realises the weight of what he's saying. "Maybe I really do like him. Fuck. He's so beautiful." The others exchange glances while Jungkook goes through it.
"Fuck, I really like him, don't I?" Jungkook looks at them for answers, but then looks down at his lap, where his hands are intertwined with each other. "Fuck. Is that why I couldn't feel any interest towards anybody else? Is that how it feels?" "Jungkook..."
"I'm such an idiot. I really hurt him with my behavior, didn't I?" Jungkook asks, his eyes brimming with tears now. "I should have talked to him. I can't believe I let my anger cloud my logical senses." "Jungkook?"
"Do you think he'll listen to me now? Am I too late?" Jungkook says. "Jimin hyung, are you sure he likes me? What if I make a fool out of myself and–" "Jungkook!" Yoongi yells, throwing another pillow that hits Jungkook's head this time. "Stop! Listen to us."
"Fuck!" Jungkook rubs his forehead. "Stop with the cushions, what's wrong with you?" "Go talk to him, kid. Talk to him and sort things out because I'm tired of seeing you both moping and sulking and not clinging to each other 24x7." Yoongi says in a single breath. "Go."
Jungkook looks at everyone, and they all send him a nod of encouragement. "And what about this girl?" Jungkook says, but then a second later, he's answering his own question. "Whatever, it was one date. I'll tell her we can just be.. friends, or whatever."
Jimin smacks him this time. "Is this the time?" "Sorry." Jungkook says, and gets up. "He went to his room, right? I'm gonna go." And he walks off, five pairs of eyes following him. "I had no idea." Hoseok confesses. "How did you guys know?!"
Jungkook runs upstairs, to where he knows Taehyung must have gone. He's panting and out of breath by the time he's at the door, but he manages to knock. Once, twice. The door opens with the force of his knock. Jungkook pushes it further, but Taehyung isn't in there.
"Fuck." The tears threaten to really fall this time, and Jungkook whispers to himself. "Where did he go?" He looks in his own bedroom, and each of his hyungs' bedroom, but Taehyung isn't there. He's not even in the kitchen, or any other shared space.
Jungkook hurriedly fishes his phone out of his pocket, and dials Taehyung's number, but Taehyung doesn't pick up. This time, the tears really do fall. He feels his nose clog up and throat hurt as he makes his way to the balcony to see if he can see Taehyung walking off below.
He cranes his neck, hands gripping the iron railing tightly, but can't see any traces of Taehyung on the streets below. His car is still parked too, and Jungkook is getting more worried by the second. He lets his head hang down, and cries. Sobs loudly.
"The fuck are you crying for?" The deep, raspy voice hits Jungkook out of nowhere, and he almost jumps at the sight of Taehyung in the corner of the balcony. "Fuck!" He yells, body smashing against the wall. "I almost fell off the railing, what the fuck hyung?"
Taehyung wears an unreadable, blank expression. His face is neutral, and he's smushed against the wall with a big Tata plushie clutched to his chest. "I'm trying to not think about you." "In the balcony?"
Taehyung shrugs. "I just wanted some space. From you." But Jungkook is determined. "I always respect all your wishes, but right now, I can't." Taehyung looks up at him, bewildered. Jungkook slowly walks towards him and crouches down.
He's on all fours now, face to face with Taehyung and body like a crawling baby. He picks the plushie out of Taehyung's lap and puts it aside. "I don't want to give you space. I want to be in your space." Taehyung stares. What?
"I'm sorry I've been an idiot." Jungkook says, head dipping again, but then he's looking at Taehyung a second later. "I'm sorry I shut you out. We should have talked." "Wow, happy realisation." Taehyung sulks.
Jungkook pouts. "I'm sorry. Please. Talk to me." And Taehyung can't hold his feelings back anymore. "Why don't you go talk to your female idol or whoever it is that you want to date?" Jungkook bites back a smile. "Are you jealous?"
Taehyung throws his head back against the wall. "Yeah. I'm jealous, okay? Fuck off." Jungkook, still on all fours, dials a number and makes a phone call. A few seconds later, he speaks. "Hey, I just wanted to tell you something."
Taehyung's heart races in his chest. Is he talking to her? Jungkook continues. "I had so much fun today, and you're so sweet, but I think we wouldn't work as a couple. If it's okay with you, we can still be friends."
Taehyung's eyes go wide. What is Jungkook doing? "Yeah? No, thank you so much for understanding." Jungkook continues, voice just as sweet as Taehyung has always known. "Yeah, sure, good luck." And then, he ends the phone call.
"It was one date." Jungkook explains. Defends himself. "It didn't mean anything." Taehyung takes the plushie back in his lap, holding it close to his chest. "You don't owe me an explanation." "You're jealous though." Jungkook teases, a smile on his face. "Just helping you out."
Taehyung frowns. "What do you care?" "Hyung." Jungkook plucks the plushie back out of Taehyung's hands. "Do you like me?" Heat rises up Taehyung's face. He tries to grab Tata back just to have something to do with his hands, but Jungkook grabs his wrist. Taehyung gulps.
Jungkook crawls closer, his face a little more in Taehyung's proximity now. "I really like you." He says, voice low. Almost a whisper. Taehyung's lips part, and his throat runs dry. His head is spinning because he can't quite comprehend what is happening.
"I..." Taehyung's voice trails off, eyes following Jungkook's approaching face. "Jungkook." "Tell me, hyung." Jungkook demands, his huge eyes now lidded, focused on Taehyung. "Do you like me?"
Taehyung can't get words out, so he just nods, hoping Jungkook isn't pranking him or something. The tear stains are still fresh on Jungkook's cheeks, and they glisten in the moonlight as he smiles. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"How did you never see it?" Taehyung says, voice breaking. "Could you not tell that I've been in love with you?" Taehyung says the word before he can stop himself. Only realises when Jungkook's eyes go wider. And Taehyung thinks now is when Jungkook backs off, gets scared.
But Jungkook doesn't do any of those things. He just crawls closer again, until their noses are brushing against each other. "Can I kiss you again?" He whispers against Taehyung's lips.
It takes Taehyung a moment to let the words sink in, but even when they do, he doesn't answer. Just grabs Jungkook's face with both hands and plants one on his lips. And this time, the tears fall from Taehyung's eyes.
They kiss, slow and sweet under the moonlight, Jungkook slowly straightening his body and holding Taehyung's body gently in his arms. There's no hunger, just pure adoration for each other in the kiss. Jungkook proceeds to kiss the corner of Taehyung's lips too. "I missed you."
"Should have talked to me sooner then." Taehyung bites back. Jungkook presses a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Please stop fighting with me, hyung." "You're a pain in the ass." "But I'm your pain in the ass." Another kiss, this time on Taehyung's neck.
Taehyung can't help but smile at that. "Stop being cheesy. That's not even an original line." "But it worked." And then, Taehyung sighs. "So. What now?" "What do you mean?"
"Us. How do we..." Taehyung says. "You know." Jungkook stares, smiling sweetly. "Where do we go from here?" Taehyung asks, tone serious. "Um, on an official date?" Jungkook says.
Taehyung gently smacks him. "You know what I mean." Jungkook sighs, dropping his head into Taehyung's shoulder. He wraps his arms around Taehyung's waist, and whispers into his neck. "I want to be with you. I think that would make me very happy."
Taehyung's fingers find Jungkook's hair, and he gently caresses it. "Are you sure?" Jungkook hums. "I don't like staying apart from you. It hurts. It hurts a lot."
"It hurts me a lot, too, Jungkook." Taehyung breathes into his hair. "Tears my heart into pieces." "Also, one more thing." Jungkook says. "Yeah?" "I miss kissing you so much."
Taehyung lets out a low chuckle at that. "You have my permission to resume kissing practice." "Just kissing?" Jungkook's head pops up in front of Taehyung's face. "I should be promoted to the next level."
Taehyung narrows his eyes. "Your new date already promoted you to the next level. I...I heard you last night. I was about to knock but I didn't want to intrude." Jungkook's face colors red. "Wait...that...that wasn't her."
Taehyung furrows his brows in question. "I was just.. jerking off. And thinking about you." Jungkook says, and buries his head into his hands. "This is so embarassing."
But to Taehyung, it's endearing and a huge relief. "Come here, you." He grabs Jungkook's face and plants a tight-lipped kiss on Jungkook's mouth. "You're so precious, and I love you so much, and you don't have to say it back now. I can wait."
Jungkook kisses him back. "Thank you." "And... we're both guys." Taehyung addresses the elephant in the room. "It's not going to be easy, you know. You know how things are in our country. And in our industry."
Jungkook takes both of Taehyung's hands in his and places a kiss on each of them. "We'll figure it out along the way?" Taehyung smiles, but it hurts. "You sure? It won't be easy." "It's okay." Jungkook says. "As long as I have you and the hyungs by my side." Taehyung hugs him.
"You're so beautiful, hyung." Jungkook says. "I can't believe I was so blind." Taehyung kisses his neck. "Please don't leave me. Ever. I don't want to lose you." Jungkook's arms tighten around Taehyung. "I'm not going anywhere, hyung."
"Are you lovebirds done? Is everything sorted now?" Yoongi says, both hands on his hips. Jungkook and Taehyung are startled, and their bodies separate abruptly. "Yoongi hyung! Privacy, please?" Jungkook scolds.
"What do you mean Yoongi hyung?" Yoongi whines. "All of the boys are here." Jungkook rolls his eyes, and then interlaces his fingers with Taehyung. "Come on." He says, getting up, and pulling Taehyung with him.
"We're waiting." Jimin says, buzzing with excitement. "Please tell me talking didn't make it worse." Jungkook stands up and comes into view. Everyone watches with their breath held as Taehyung walks behind him, looking timid. Both of their eyes are puffy.
"Oh God, did you guys fight again?" Seokjin says. "See, this is why you don't leave the kids alone." "Aah, hyung!" Namjoon shushes him, and then turns to Jungkook and Taehyung. "Guys?"
A smile makes its way to Jungkook's lips, and he holds up their interlaced hands in the air. Everyone's eyes go wide. Taehyung smiles behind him too. "Meet my boyfriend." Jungkook says, proud. "Kim Taehyung. Can't believe I'm dating the number one handsome man in Korea."
And just like that, they have their happy ending. There's going to be ups and downs, but they'll tackle it all together. Thank you for reading this story. πŸ₯Ί I would love to hear what you think! πŸ’— Here's my Ko-Fi, if you want to support me!
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Writer | jjk + kth | Fan account | NO minors! πŸ”ž | bu: @regalkv_ | ao3: regalkv β™‘
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