❝ Remember Me. ❞
"Tae. Just go home."
"No." Taehyung shakes his head, hands gripping the coffee mug tighter. "I'm going to wait."
"Don't you fucking get it, Tae?" Jimin yells at him. "Jungkook isn't coming back. He does not even remember you."
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"It's our anniversary, Jimin." Taehyung tries hard not to cry, eyes still fixed on the coffee mug in his hands.
Jimin sighs, trying to control his own voice from breaking. "Taehyung. Please. Let's go home."
And then, Taehyung lets the tears fall. He sobs, and he doesn't try to hide it. Jimin stands there for a few seconds before he hugs Taehyung, and tries to calm him down.
And Taehyung remembers the last time everything was normal. The memory plays in his mind like a movie.
← Flashback →
"Babe, I have to leave for Busan right now. Mom sounded really worried and she refuses to tell me over the phone." Jungkook says, sounding anxious.
"What's wrong, baby?" Taehyung asks him. "Are you parents okay?"
Jungkook nods, as he stuffs some essentials into a bag. "They're okay, but something is definitely up. I'll let you know as soon as I reach, okay?"
Taehyung nods, arms crossed as he steps forward and places a soft kiss on Jungkook's lips. "Take care, Jungkook."
"Take care, baby." Jungkook says. He hugs Taehyung, presses a kiss to his temple, and then leaves – Walks out of his dorm room, and Taehyung locks it after Jungkook does.
Not knowing that it's the last time he heard Jungkook call him 'baby'.
Fast forward to hours later, when Taehyung remembers just panicking, pacing back and forth in his room because he doesn't receive a call from Jungkook.
It doesn't take that long to travel from Seoul to Busan, and Taehyung's heart is in his mouth.
He stays up the whole night, and in the early hours of the next day, eyes red from crying.
He hasn't heard from Jungkook and is worried sick. Jimin visits him first thing in the morning, immediately after he hears.
"Why didn't you tell me at night?" Jimin asks him.
"I didn't want to wake you up." Taehyung says.
They try to figure out a way to get in touch with Jungkook but can't get hold of him. Taehyung has Jungkook's cousin's number but it's switched off as well.
He's so scared.
"Jungkook never keeps his phone switched off for so long." Taehyung cries. "Never in the whole year that we've dated."
Their other friends have gathered in his room, too, and they're all trying to calm him down and somehow get hold of Jungkook too.
Namjoon and Yoongi ask around for any contacts, while Seokjin prepares some hot soup for Taehyung. Hoseok and Jimin hold him in their arms, like he would collapse otherwise.
They're all extremely worried for Taehyung as well as for Jungkook.
And then, as if suddenly seeing light, Taehyung hears Yoongi speak.
"He's at Busan. In a hospital."
Taehyung's heart leaps out of his chest. "Is he okay? Did he get into an accident?"
Yoongi shakes his head. "They didn't say so. Just said he's at the hospital."
Taehyung climbs out of his bed, hair matted from sweat and cheeks bearing stains from dried tears. "I have to go, hyung."
"Tae, his parents don't even know half of us." Jimin says.
"They know us." Namjoon points to himself and Yoongi. "I'll drive. Let's all go."
Taehyung spends the next four hours in anxiety and confusion, clinging on to Jimin for dear life. They try to get him to eat but he refuses to.
He can't bring himself to. Not until he sees Jungkook safe and sound. He doesn't even have the appetite. It hurts so much.
And when they finally reach the hospital Yoongi heard Jungkook is at, Taehyung bolts out of the car.
His friends have to hold him back before they make a proper enquiry and find out where Jungkook actually is.
And when they finally have a room number, they let Taehyung go first.
He runs as fast as his legs take him, races up the stairs with tears streaming down his cheeks until he stands in front of the door Jungkook is behind.
Room no. 26.
Taehyung stills for a moment.
He holds his breath, taking small steps towards the door, until his hand is touching the cold wooden surface.
He doesn't have the guts to peek, just wants to face whatever it is head on. And then, he holds the knob, and turns it before pushing the door open.
He keeps his head lowered for a bit, before looking up.
And Jungkook is there, sitting on a bed. He looks fine, absolutely normal apart from the dressing around his forehead. It hurts Taehyung to even look at it. But there's also something else he can't quite put a finger on.
Something feels off.
Jungkook examines his arms – his tattoos, like he's in deep thought. He wears a frown on his face, like he can't quite figure something out.
"Jungkook?" Taehyung weakly speaks.
And then, Jungkook looks up.
As if it wasn't hurting enough already, Taehyung sees indifference in his eyes. Even worse, he sees interrogation.
"I tried calling you." Taehyung weakly says. "I was scared."
"I lost my phone." Jungkook simply says, voice a little hoarse.
Taehyung feels a little relieved.
"Oh.. how did you hurt yourself?"
"I'm not sure." Jungkook draws his brows in together. "My head feels heavy."
"It's okay. You should rest." Taehyung steps forward, and is about to sit down by the bed.
But Jungkook eyes him suspiciously.
It's a little scary, so Taehyung asks him. "Jungkook, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Like what?" Jungkook asks.
"It's like you don't even know me." Taehyung says, trying not to cry.
Jungkook looks into his eyes, frown still in place. "That's because... I don't?"
Taehyung feels like the earth shifts beneath his feet. Like he's hallucinating, like this is just a bad, bad dream.
"Huh?" He asks, half laughs. "What do you mean you don't know me, Jungkook?"
Jungkook keeps looking at him strange. "I'm already really confused and my head hurts and now a stranger is asking me weird questions. Can I please get some space?"
Taehyung only hears one word – Stranger.
"I'm sorry." He says, unable to think straight. "I'm sorry."
He takes a few steps backwards, unable to look Jungkook in the eye. Jungkook doesn't even budge, just keeps looking at him like he's the one being weird when it's Jungkook who is acting aloof.
Small steps soon turn into a full fledged run, as Taehyung makes his way back to his friends.
As soon as they see him, they anxiously get up, and multiple questions are thrown at Taehyung, at the same time.
"Is he okay?"
"What did he say?"
"Why is he here?"
"Do you feel better after seeing him?"
But Taehyung needs air. He walks right through the corridor like he doesn't even hear them speak. They tense immediately, and obviously know something is wrong.
Taehyung walks until he's outside, and sits down on a small, cemented step near the hospital gates.
His friends follow him, careful with their words. Jimin kneels down beside him, and asks Taehyung in a gentle voice. "Tae, what's wrong?"
Taehyung keeps looking ahead, like his head is blank. Empty. "Jimin. He says he doesn't know who I am."
Jimin pulls back, and exchanges looks with the rest of them.
"Me and Yoongi hyung will go check on him." Namjoon says, voice low. "Wait here."
And they rush to Jungkook's room. When they reach there, the door is already open.
"Jungkook?" Yoongi asks, voice dripping with concern but relief filling his chest upon seeing Jungkook safe.
Jungkook's eyes flicker with recognition. "Hyung! Thank God, finally someone I know."
"Jungkook, are you feeling alright?" Namjoon asks.
Jungkook shakes his head. "No. I feel weird. Very weird."
Yoongi and Namjoon sit down on either side of him, on the edges of the bed. He takes their hands, and begins to explain.
"Hyung. First of all, I don't know what happened. Apparently, my parents were here but I haven't seen them since I woke up. The doctor says I should get some rest before they come back and I hear what happened."
Yoongi squeezes his hand. "Okay. Go on, Jungkook."
"And..." He rotates his arms and looks at them. "When did I get tattoos?!"
Namjoon and Yoongi exchange looks.
"And this!" He touches the space above his brows, and then his fingers move to his lips. "And this! So many piercings?"
The other two don't know what to say.
"You got them over the past year." Namjoon rubs his hands. "You always wanted them. Remember?"
Jungkook looks at Namjoon like he's crazy. "I do, but I don't remember getting them done."
"Jungkook." Namjoon says again, gentler, more focused this time. "Do you remember Taehyung?"
Jungkook looks at him with an indifferent look on his face. "No. Is he the guy that came in earlier?"
Yoongi sighs. "Shit."
"What?" Jungkook asks, confused. "Am I missing something?"
"Jungkook." Yoongi says again. "I think it's best that you talk to him."
"Hyung, the last thing I want to do right now is talk to a random person." Jungkook says. "I don't feel good right now."
"He's not a random person, Jungkook." Namjoon says, standing up. "Talk to him. Please. Hear him out."
Jungkook gulps. "I'm missing some parts of my memory, isn't it? Who is he?"
Yoongi grabs Namjoon's wrist and starts to walk out. He turns around and says, "I'll send Taehyung in. Be nice."
Jungkook sighs in frustration. Is Taehyung a new best friend he made in the past two years? In that case, his words might have been a little harsh.
He waits anxiously, and minutes later, Taehyung walks in again. Jungkook takes in his appearance. Red, swollen eyes, a tired face and he's clearly been crying. Jungkook wonders if it's because of him.
But despite everything, Jungkook notices how beautiful he looks.
Had Taehyung been a girl, Jungkook would probably have said it out loud. But he doesn't want to say anything that would give Taehyung a certain idea about Jungkook.
He doesn't want anyone to find out about that side of him.
"Hey." Jungkook greets, cautiously. "I'm sorry if I was a little rude before."
Taehyung shakes his head, but doesn't meet Jungkook's eye. Jungkook wonders how they've been friends all this time, if at all they have – he would probably out himself to a guy so beautiful.
"It's fine. Did you eat?" Taehyung asks weakly, seating himself on the edge of the bed.
"Yeah." Jungkook says. "Umm, you?"
Taehyung looks down. "I just came here. From Seoul."
"Umm, are we friends?"
And then, Taehyung looks at him. Half a smile paints his face. "Do you really not remember anything? Nothing at all?"
Jungkook shakes his head. Taehyung sighs, trying to hold his tears in, while his throat stings.
"Yes, Jungkook. We're friends. Best friends." Taehyung says.
Jungkook nods, thinking.
"More than that, actually." Taehyung continues.
The beeps from the heart rate monitoring device suddenly get faster.
"Um." Jungkook says, unsure of where this conversation is going. "What do you mean? I don't understand."
Taehyung sighs before he shifts closer, and takes Jungkook's hand in his. Goosebumps erupt on Jungkook's skin at the touch.
"Jungkook." Taehyung says, looking into his big, beautiful eyes. "I'm your boyfriend."
And at that, Jungkook sharply retracts his hand, and makes a disgusted expression. "What the fuck?!"
Taehyung startles at the sudden, hostile reaction. He's never seen Jungkook act like that.
"You're a guy." Jungkook says. "What are you even saying?!"
Taehyung's brows come together, and it's like Jungkook's internal struggle from two years ago all over again.
He can't believe he's at square one. But Taehyung is determined. There's no way he's letting their relationship turn into dust.
"Calm down." Taehyung says, trying to control the situation even though he's very tired and upset himself. "Calm down, and hear me out."
"Hear what out?" Jungkook resists his touches, and it hurts. "Don't be ridiculous!"
"Jungkook, please." Taehyung says, voice breaking, and grabs Jungkook's wrists. "Please don't pretend, not in front of me."
Jungkook huffs. "Can you please leave me alone?"
Jungkook is scared. He doesn't understand any of this. All he knows is that a part of him he's hidden away all his life is suddenly being dangled in front of him like it's out for the whole world to see.
It's making him so anxious.
But then, Taehyung starts to cry, and Jungkook immediately feels bad. He huffs, rolls his eyes but doesn't yell at Taehyung or talk in a harsh tone anymore.
"Stop..." He says, voice low and distant, and eyes not meeting Taehyung. "Stop crying."
Taehyung just pulls his phone out of his pocket, touches and swipes his finger over the screen a few times and hands it over to Jungkook.
Jungkook stares at it, at the picture of him back hugging Taehyung, with Taehyung kissing his cheek. His heart stops.
He looks at the picture, and they look like they're so happy to be photographed like that. And suddenly, he finds it a little hard to breathe.
"Does...does everyone know?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "Not your parents. Everyone back in Seoul, yeah."
Jungkook lets out a deep breath. He clenches his jaw as he holds out the phone. "Good. They should never find out. And as for everyone back at college, tell them we broke up."
Taehyung stares back at him in disbelief. Shock, a little bit of betrayal too. If Jungkook wasn't in this condition, Taehyung would have yelled.
But he simply snatches his phone back, and manages a small, sarcastic laugh. "Is this your solution? What about us, Jungkook?"
Jungkook sighs, throwing his head back in exasperation. "There is no us."
"I just showed you." Taehyung says. "And this isn't even all. I have way more proof of our relationship."
"I don't care, and I don't want to see any more of it. Let me be. Please."
Taehyung wants to cry.
He gets up, gripping the edge of the hospital bed and sighing in resignation. Maybe he can't save this.
He wordlessly walks out and pleads for Namjoon and Yoongi to stay and look after him. Urges the rest to leave with him for Seoul.
Jungkook's parents soon arrive, though, and are surprised to see Namjoon and Yoongi who introduce them to the rest of the boys.
Taehyung finds that it really hurts to be introduced as Jungkook's 'friend' after so long.
They're all able to leave for Seoul, but Taehyung can't stop thinking about Jungkook.
Jungkook doesn't come back for a week after that, Taehyung figures he needs some time to heal. But he can't wait to see him again. Maybe Jungkook will hear him out when he's back at University.
A week passes, and it's the day of their anniversary. Taehyung sits alone at the café they had planned to start this day with, back when Jungkook remembered everything.
Taehyung hasn't properly eaten or slept in the past week. He's been a little out of it.
He hears Jimin's voice, and that finally snaps him out of it.
"Taehyung. What are you doing?"
"Umm, nothing. Just having coffee."
"Come on Tae. Stop this. Please. Look at yourself, it's hurting me to see you like this."
Taehyung doesn't say a word. Just looks down.
"Tae. Just go home."
"No." Taehyung shakes his head, hands gripping the coffee mug tighter. "I'm going to wait."
"Don't you fucking get it, Tae?" Jimin yells at him. "Jungkook isn't coming back. He does not even remember you."
"It's our anniversary, Jimin." Taehyung tries hard not to cry, eyes still fixed on the coffee mug in his hands.
"Taehyung. Please. Let's go home."
"I'm staying." Taehyung says through the tears, the memories flashing through his head.
"Fine. Whatever. I don't care about you at all. I'm going back to the dorm, and you can just sit here. Don't come to me crying because I'm not going to hug you all night or make you coffee." Jimin angrily says, tiny hands on his hips.
And for the first time in a week, Taehyung feels an actual, genuine laugh bubble through his chest. "I love you, Jimin."
"Fuck you." Jimin shakes his head, as he walks off, but then he walks back in, and adds. "Don't stay here long. Come back soon."
Taehyung nods, before Jimin walks off. Taehyung reflects upon Jimin's words, and realises that it really is no use sitting here like this, waiting for the impossible to happen.
So, with a heavy heart, he tries to finish his coffee.
When he gets up, though, he can't walk or move for a bit because it feels like his vision deceives him for a second there.
Taehyung doesn't know if it's just a figment of his imagination, but walking in through the door, looking healthy and as handsome as ever, is Jungkook.
Taehyung stills, feet refusing to walk an inch forward or backward. He just stands there – stunned, staring.
Jungkook walks in like he knows the place like the back of his hand, and maybe he does. Maybe he remembers this café. He walks up to the counter, and places an order.
Taehyung watches, as Jungkook taps his fingers on the wooden counter and checks his watch. As he looks around and waits, and watches him as his gaze travels to every corner of the café eventually lands on Taehyung.
Jungkook remembers him from the hospital in Busan, probably.
Jungkook stills too, for a moment, and doesn't say anything. But he holds Taehyung's gaze, before he is politely interrupted by the girl at the counter.
"Your order!" She says, and Jungkook breaks eye contact, as he looks at her.
Taehyung wonders if he should walk up to Jungkook, but decides against it the next moment.
But then Jungkook is looking at him again, expression unreadable. And somehow, that gives Taehyung the little needed push.
Jungkook starts to walk towards one of the tables, never actually looking away from Taehyung. And Taehyung drags his feet, until he's at the table Jungkook chooses to sit at.
"Umm, can I sit here?" Taehyung manages to somehow get the words out. "If you don't mind."
Jungkook hesitates for a moment, looking down at the table. Then, without meeting Taehyung's eyes, he says. "Is there anyone here that knows about us?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "Most people prefer the café on campus. This was our...umm, special place."
Jungkook nods then, and Taehyung takes a seat opposite him.
He searches Jungkook's eyes, but there's absolutely nothing that he can decipher. Jungkook seems to shrink in on himself, and holds his coffee mug tightly.
"I can leave if it's making you uncomfortable." Taehyung says, his own heart breaking at the words. "I just..."
"Did you want to say something to me?" Jungkook asks then, and he sounds genuine. "Say it, as long as it's not about us getting back together."
Taehyung sighs. "How are you? Are you feeling better?"
Jungkook nods. "Physically, yes. Mentally, not quite."
Taehyung wants to ask, but doesn't want to overstep.
"Um." He begins. "Did you go back to the dorm yet?"
Jungkook shakes his head. "I went to the dorm, but didn't enter. I don't have the keys, and it's locked, so I was about to ask the–"
"I have them." Taehyung says then, looking up, and their eyes meet. "I have... Your keys. Had them since you left. Sorry."
Jungkook's eyes go wide for just the briefest moment, before he brings them back to normal. "Um, can I have them?"
Taehyung nods. "Sure. They're yours, anyway."
He pulls a whole keychain out, and separates two keys out of the bunch.
"Here." He says, holding out his hand.
"We kept our keys in the same keychain?" Jungkook finally asks.
Taehyung nods. "My room is the one right opposite to yours. And we were basically together all the time. Either over at yours, or at mine, or somewhere outside. Together."
Jungkook lets out an audible breath, as if it's all very overwhelming to hear. "Wow, uh. Were we really close?" He asks, but he looks like he's a little scared, a little terrified.
Taehyung just smiles. "Jungkook. We were in love with each other. I mean, you were. I still am."
Jungkook looks down, not wanting to talk about it. "I don't remember anything." And it almost sounds like he regrets it. Almost.
"That's okay." Taehyung says, forcing himself to smile. Then, he hesitates a little before speaking again. "It's our anniversary today."
"Oh." Is all Jungkook says, and then proceeds to clear his throat. "I should, uh. I should get going."
Taehyung looks up, moist eyes boring into Jungkook's, and nods. "Oh... Okay."
Jungkook prepares to leave, begins to get up, but Taehyung gathers some courage and blurts out the words.
"If you don't mind." He says. "Can I walk with you to the dorm? We live right next to each other, anyway. It's okay if you don't want me to, though. I won't mind."
Jungkook seems to think about it for a bit, before he says. "Did you let people know we broke up?"
The words hurt. "I haven't really talked to anyone since...umm." Taehyung says.
"I don't want them to get the wrong idea." Jungkook says.
Taehyung bites his lips. Nods. Accepts.
"I'll, uh... I'll get going, then." Jungkook says, and presses his lips into a thin line.
It reminds Taehyung of every single time he's done that before, and he tries not to cry.
"Okay. See you around." Taehyung says.
Jungkook doesn't say it back.
And then, a minute later, Jungkook is gone and Taehyung is left there, alone.
He gets up too, and leaves. And walks behind Jungkook, far enough from him but still making sure he's in his line of sight. It hurts to even look at him, but Taehyung doesn't know what else to do.
He watches Jungkook disappear into their dorm building, and by the time Taehyung reaches his own door, Jungkook's door is shut again.
Taehyung sighs before unlocking the door to his room and locking himself up inside. He needs sleep.
Jungkook shuts the door. Locks it from inside, and takes a deep breath. That had been Taehyung's door right in front of him a moment ago.
He turns around, and the first thing he notices is how the room is perfectly organized, apart from a few things.
For starters, there's a shirt on his bed. A shirt that's definitely not his own – not his taste. A shirt that resembles the style he's seen Taehyung wear both times they've met.
Jungkook takes a deep breath.
There's a box of chocolate bars on his table right next to him. And Jungkook has hated chocolate since he can remember.
He wonders if Taehyung is fond of chocolate.
And then he spots the huge photo overhead his bed, and wonders how that wasn't the first thing he saw. It's a picture of Jungkook and Taehyung, fully in black and white.
They have their arms around each other and are lost in a kiss. Jungkook's heart rate increases.
And then, as he takes in more of the room, he notices, alongside pictures of his family and friends, there's little photos of him and Taehyung everywhere. More than that, there's photos of just Taehyung. And Jungkook recognises this style of photography.
It's his own.
He walks over to his bed and takes the big photo off the wall first, before putting it away into a drawer. But before he can shut the drawer, he spots a box of condoms.
It's labelled, 'Taehyung & Jungkook's August stash! ♡'
He shuts the drawer in frustration, sits down on his bed and holds his head in both of his hands. His entire room is reminding him of the truth he doesn't want anyone to know.
And the fact that everyone here knows, it's scaring him.
He lies down then, and his head lands on Taehyung's shirt. It bunches up near his face as he turns to the side, and Jungkook realises that it smells really good.
He gets up again, and tries to think about it a little.
He tries to let the thoughts he's been holding it come to surface.
What about Taehyung?
He's seen evidence. He knows it's true. His own room is screaming it. Taehyung must be hurting so much. Should Jungkook even shut him out like that?
He sighs, and opens the part of his cupboard he remembers keeping his camera in. Thankfully, he still keeps it there.
He brings it out, and tries to see what he's clicked during the time that's been erased off his mind.
His finger trembles as it hovers over the playback button, but he does it anyway.
And there, just like he had been expecting, is the first picture. It's Taehyung.
Huge, boxy smile and eyes merely crescents from the way he's smiling, his face is so close to camera. And it's evident that it's been clicked with love.
Jungkook knows when he's endeared with the subject. He's done it several times but this time, it's for a person.
He keeps pressing next, and barring a few photos of their friends, some of whom he doesn't recognise, and random objects and animals, it's all Taehyung.
One after the other. Just him. All him.
And he's beautiful. Jungkook thinks he's beautiful.
The kind of beautiful that would make your heart hurt. The kind of beautiful one would write poems about. Jungkook sees it, Jungkook admits it. But he can't seem to face it yet.
He keeps his camera aside, and leans against his wall, one hand behind his head. His eyes are unfocused, as blurry as his thoughts right now.
Jungkook doesn't know what he should do. It's not like he can suddenly go back to being Taehyung's boyfriend – he doesn't even know him.
Even if he accepts this side of himself, all over again, he isn't sure how it would work.
Currently, he's not in love with Taehyung. He feels bad, but he's also scared for himself.
He slides down and lets his head sink into his pillow, and pushes one hand underneath it. It's a habit. But then his hands touches a piece of what seems like paper.
Jungkook pulls it out, unfolds it, and reads.
→ Jungkookie. I'm so sad you have to leave for Busan so suddenly! :( But it's okay, family comes first. I'm writing this while you're stuffing your clothes into a bag. And even though you're a little tensed up right now, you look so cute.
I hope everything is okay back at home.
We can always push our plans back. I can't wait for you to come back safe and healthy, so we can have the best anniversary dinner ever. And after that, I'm going to surprise you with something you've wanted for so long!
I love you so much, baby. Can't wait to see you again.
I'm going to put this under your pillow for you to find when you come back. There's no reason for this letter, but I hope it makes you smile. :) My baby looks the prettiest when he smiles. Take care, love. I miss you already.
Love, Tae. ←
Jungkook folds it back and holds it over his chest, almost gasping for air because suddenly it's a little hard to breathe.
He doesn't remember anything and yet, this hurts just to read. He wonders just how intense the love between them was.
Jungkook looks around again, at all the little reminders of their relationship in their room, and shuts his eyes.
He can't even think straight, and is so confused as to what to do. But his heart tells him something, and he thinks it's harmless.
But then, the other part of him holds him back. Tells him it's a bad idea.
Jungkook feels conflicted. He gets up and starts pacing back and forth in the room, and in every corner he sees, there's Taehyung's face.
He shuts himself in the bathroom then, locks the door and slides down until he's on the floor, with his back to the bathroom door.
But even here, he can see bottles of shampoos that seem very unfamiliar. He doesn't even have to guess anymore.
Jungkook gets up, dusting his pants, and storms out. He grabs his new phone from where it's thrown somewhere on the bed, and walks out before he can overthink.
And a moment later, he finds himself standing outside Taehyung's door. Confused. Terrified.
Jungkook doesn't have to stress his ears to listen to the obvious sobs that come from inside the room, the occasional sniff thrown in between.
Jungkook feels so, so bad. But there's no way he can give Taehyung what he wants right now.
Regardless, he knocks. Once, twice. And the sobs stop.
Jungkook hears the shuffling of feet, footsteps coming towards the door, and he doesn't even know if he's ready to face Taehyung again.
But before he has the time to turn around and run, Taehyung opens the door.
Even with bloodshot eyes, messed up hair and a swollen face, Jungkook can tell that Taehyung is visibly shocked.
"Jungkook?" He says. Doesn't even try to hide his surprise. "Did you... Do you need something?"
Jungkook shakes his head. "Umm, can I come in?"
Taehyung stands there, looking lost, as if in a trance. "Huh?"
"Oh. Yeah." Taehyung snaps out of his daze. "Yeah, sure."
He steps aside for Jungkook to enter, and Jungkook does.
"I'm sorry, my room is messy." Taehyung says, voice weak, but Jungkook can tell he's trying to sound like he's okay. Like he's perfectly fine.
"No, it's alright." Jungkook says.
"I'm not as organized as you are."
Jungkook nods. "Can we.. Um, talk?"
Taehyung seems surprised again, but nods. "You can sit, if you want."
Jungkook nods too. But just as he's about to sit, he notices a black hoodie by the pillow. Parts of it are wet, looking like they're stained with tears. And then it hits him. He takes a good look at Taehyung.
He's wearing a grey, oversized hoodie. Jungkook recognises both of them.
And with the way he's looking at it, Taehyung figures it out. "Oh... This is yours. Do you um, want it back? I'll wash it and return it to you tomorrow. Is that okay?"
Jungkook doesn't even say anything yet, but Taehyung starts to talk again.
"If you don't mind, can I keep the black one?" Taehyung says weakly. "It smells like you. Helps me fall asleep. No pressure, though. I'll give that one back too, if you want."
Jungkook still doesn't speak, and Taehyung continues. "I mean, just for a couple of weeks. I'll return it when I get used to everything–"
"Keep it." Jungkook says. "Both of them."
"Oh." Taehyung says, startled. He sniffs "Really? Thanks."
Jungkook nods, as if he acknowledges it. And then, with much difficulty, he says. "You've been crying."
Taehyung smiles like it hurts, and comes and sits down next to Jungkook. "It's just been a little difficult. But anyway, what di you want to talk about?"
Jungkook adjusts his torso to face Taehyung. "Before I say it, please don't get your hopes high."
Taehyung nods, and crosses his arms. "Okay. What is it?"
He wonders if this hurts more or less than what Jungkook is about to say further.
"I... I am only going to go through with this if you agree, but I think shutting you out isn't the right thing to do. I feel like... I feel like owe you something." Jungkook says.
Taehyung's heart is beating so fast. He blinks.
"So um. This might be a bad idea, which is why I want you to think over it carefully. And I'm saying this because I'm very confused and scared and overwhelmed myself, and don't know how to go about it." Jungkook says.
Taehyung nods. "Okay."
"I'd like to..." Jungkook clears his throat. "Get to know you. Spend some time with you and learn who you are. Again. And maybe we can be friends."
Taehyung's heart almost leaps out of his chest.
"Friends?" Taehyung asks. It even hurts to ask, but this is way more than he could expect from what the current situation is.
Jungkook nods. "Friends. Which is why I don't want you to get your hopes high. You can say no. It just really felt wrong shutting you out like that."
Taehyung shakes his head. "No, I don't have a problem with it."
Because at least instead of suddenly being separated from Jungkook like this, maybe Taehyung can let the pain seep in slowly, eventually, until it drowns him and he can't even feel it anymore.
Jungkook nods. "Okay. But maybe tomorrow. I think I need some rest today."
Taehyung agrees. "Yeah, sure. I think you need rest, too."
"Umm." Jungkook looks at his phone, and holds it out. "Enter your number in here."
Taehyung stares at the phone.
He eventually takes it though, and feeds his number into it. He texts himself too. But he can't stop thinking about Jungkook's lost phone that had so many of their memories together.
"Here." He hands it back to Jungkook. "I texted myself too. I'll save your new number, too."
Jungkook nods in acknowledgement. "I should... I should go."
Taehyung gets up. "Yeah, sure. Take care."
Jungkook presses his lips together and gets up to leave, but something stops him.
He spots something in one corner of Taehyung's room.
"Is that..." Jungkook's eyes go wide. "Did you... Oh my God."
Taehyung can't help the way the blush creeps up his cheeks as Jungkook takes swift steps towards the huge painting stuck on his wall.
Jungkook stares back at him for answers.
Taehyung nods. "Yeah. I painted it."
"This is..." Jungkook lets his hands trace shapes over the canvas. "This looks exactly like me."
"I painted it live." Taehyung says.
And Jungkook's breath hitches.
It's a nude, half body painting of him. Everything isn't visible, but it's nude, nonetheless.
But Jungkook ignores that, and just stares at the painting in awe. "You have a gift."
Taehyung winces at the words. Jungkook used to say this exact same sentence to him all the time before he lost his memory – back when they were still in a relationship.
"Thank you, Jungkook."
"No, I mean it. You're so talented. My body looks exactly like this." Jungkook says.
"I know." Taehyung says. "I'm familiar with it."
Jungkook blushes, and is thankful that he isn't facing Taehyung.
"So I'll just..." Jungkook turns around, but doesn't finish his sentence.
Taehyung has tears in his eyes. Jungkook hates it, but it hurts to see him like that.
"What's wrong? Did I say something?" Jungkook asks.
Taehyung shakes his head. "No, no. It's nothing."
Jungkook sighs. "I understand that it hurts. It's not easy for me, either. But I'm really in a fix here. I'm... I'm doing my best."
Taehyung nods. "I know, Jungkook. And I'm very grateful."
And then, after a beat of silence, Taehyung speaks again.
"Can I ask you for a favor?"
Jungkook is uncertain, but nods anyway.
"You can say no." Taehyung says, and sighs. He's looking down at his feet, and pauses, as if he's thinking whether it's an appropriate thing to say right now. "I won't get my hopes up high. But..just. Can I hold you? Just once."
Jungkook stands there, wordless. Just looks at Taehyung, trying to measure his words.
Taehyung finally looks up at him, and their eyes meet. And it's so intense even with Taehyung crying, that Jungkook feels like it depletes his energy to keep looking.
But he takes a few slow steps forward, until he's standing face to face with Taehyung.
Without saying anything, he leans in and as if his body remembers every bit of it, his arms easily wrap around Taehyung's waist.
Taehyung's arms come up around his neck and over his shoulders seconds later, and he snuggles in closer.
Jungkook lets him. It feels good. Warm. And Taehyung smells amazing. It's the same scent from the shirt Jungkook found on his bed earlier.
Jungkook isn't sure but at some point he even pulls Taehyung closer into his body, and nuzzles his nose into Taehyung's shoulder.
They're both the same height and it's so easy, so comfortable. Like their bodies recognise each other. Maybe they really do, Jungkook thinks.
But then, Taehyung sniffs again, and the trance breaks. And Jungkook realizes what he's doing.
He suddenly stops leaning his body into the hug, and pulls back. Gently, but he does. And he tries not to meet Taehyung's eye. "I should, uhh. I should really go."
Taehyung frowns, confused and hurt for a second, before he gets it together again. "Uhh, yeah. Sorry."
And Jungkook nods, and walks out without another word. Taehyung is once again left alone in his room.
He shuts the door behind Jungkook, and drops down to the floor. Doesn't even bother to walk back to bed, because he simply doesn't have the energy.
The floor is cold, but he hopes he can survive the night with the warmth from Jungkook's hoodie.
Taehyung wakes up to a sore neck and butt from sitting on the floor, leaning across his door all night.
The moment he opens his eyes, he reaches for his phone and checks it – it's a habit. He's pleasantly surprised to see a text message from Jungkook sitting on his lockscreen.
– Hi. Do you want to hang out? Go to the library or something?
Taehyung rubs his eyes, to make sure he's seeing it right. He can't really believe that Jungkook texted himself – it's kind of bittersweet that he's making an effort, but to just be friends.
Still, Taehyung smiles. It's something. Way better than having to suddenly stay away from Jungkook. He starts to type out a message and presses send to reply to Jungkook's text.
– Sure. But why the library?
The next reply is instant.
– Umm, I don't know. We can go elsewhere.
Taehyung bites his lips, thinking for a bit, but before he can reply, Jungkook sends him another text.
– How about the café? The one we were at yesterday?
– Okay. That would be nice! I don't have class today. What about you?
Jungkook replies that he has just one class, and they decide to meet two hours later. Taehyung uses the spare time to take a shower and freshen up.
When he's standing in front of the mirror, he looks at his reflection and bites his lip. He wants to dress up – wants to look good for Jungkook, like he's always done. It's ingrained in him.
But he doesn't know if it's even any use. Doesn't know if he should, in the first place.
Eventually, he just does what his heart says. Puts on the shirt he knows Jungkook loves on him, and styles his hair the best he can.
He lets out a sigh, as he checks himself out once more in the mirror. An hour has already passed since their conversation.
Taehyung feels strange. This feels strange. Going out just as friends with his boyfriend.
He doesn't even know what they are anymore.
It feels strange, but Taehyung isn't going to let this chance go.
He spends the next hour grabbing some breakfast, and trying to calm his heart down. Nobody on campus knows about what happened in detail. They just know Jungkook had been in an accident.
And Taehyung has been asked questions about it, to which he just says that Jungkook is okay.
He's never mentioned how everything went down, and doesn't know how to even tell it to people. He's been super upset all this while, and maybe that has deterred people from asking more questions.
He's glad about that.
And punctual as always, Jungkook knocks on his door right at the decided time.
Taehyung's heart starts to beat louder, but he gets up, fixes his hair and checks himself out one last time in the mirror before opening the door.
As he turns the knob and pulls the door apart, he's greeted with Jungkook's beautiful figure standing in front on him.
Taehyung nearly gasps, for Jungkook is wearing the outfit he wore the day he told Taehyung he liked him. Taehyung still remembers – it's etched in his memory.
But he doesn't tell Jungkook that just yet. Right now, he tries not to stare.
"Hey." Jungkook says, expression soft, voice softer. "My class is over."
Taehyung nods. "I'm ready. Let's go."
Jungkook nods, and waits for Taehyung to lock his door.
They walk together, side by side. Through the corridor of their dorm building, and outside across the huge expanse of green on their campus.
People glance at them, curious, probably wanting to ask or pry. But thankfully, nobody approaches them.
Nobody looks at them like them being together is strange – and that kind of comforts Taehyung.
And Jungkook doesn't say it, but it comforts him too. People know the kind of relationship he's shared with Taehyung, and yet, they look at them like it's okay.
It's oddly comforting and a relief to Jungkook that people know about him, about his sexual orientation, and look at him like it's okay.
Maybe, he was overthinking it all this while. But for now, he shakes those thoughts off.
"Thank you." Taehyung says. "For coming with me today."
Jungkook smiles, tight-lipped. "Sure. It's not a problem."
"Are you feeling okay?"
Jungkook nods. "Yeah. And you?"
Taehyung nods too. People look at them like they always have – they don't entirely know what him and Jungkook have gone through, and he's glad. He doesn't want the looks of pity or the questions.
So, for now, he really is okay.
"I'm okay. Ish." Taehyung smiles. "Did you sleep okay?"
Jungkook nods. "Yeah. My head hurts a bit, but it's okay."
"Oh." Taehyung says.
Jungkook smiles too. It's strange that this feels easy – it doesn't feel forced, just walking like this and talking to Taehyung.
They reach the café in a few minutes, and take a table close to a huge glass window. It's their usual spot, but Taehyung doesn't mention that yet.
"Uhm." Jungkook clears his throat. "I'm sorry if this sounds strange, but... Tell me about yourself."
Taehyung smiles. "This is a little funny. But okay. Where should I start?"
Jungkook can't help but chuckle too. "Sorry, I don't know how else to do this. Umm, start with the basics."
"Hello. What would you like to order?" A waitress walks up to them with a notepad.
"Umm, a latte for me. A side of egg rolls and yakgwa cookies, please." Jungkook says.
"And for you?" The waitress turns to Taehyung. "The same?"
"No, he doesn't like coffee." Jungkook says. "Just some kimchi pancakes for him."
The waitress notes the order down, and walks away. But Taehyung is staring at Jungkook, eyes wide in shock.
"What?" Jungkook asks, when he notices. "Is something wrong?"
"Jungkook." Taehyung says, heart thrumming against his chest. "You... you remember my order?"
Jungkook looks at him, and realises that he just ordered for Taehyung, like it's second nature. He didn't even know where that came from. He looks around and then back at Taehyung.
"That was my order." Taehyung says, trying not to panic. "That's what I usually order when we come here at this time of the day."
Jungkook just stares at him. "I don't know why I know that."
"Oh my God." Taehyung says, a flicker of hope in his heart. But he doesn't want to sound too eager. "That's... That's nice. You remember something."
Jungkook nods, looking away. He doesn't want to talk about it. "So, let's talk about you?"
Taehyung tells him random details about himself, starting from the basics and then delving into deeper details.
He tries not to sound too excited about Jungkook remembering one little detail, and just focuses on what he asks of Taehyung now.
Their conversation branches out into little stories, and Jungkook hears Taehyung say a lot of little things that Jungkook thought nobody else knows about him.
It makes him wonder once more, just how close they must have been.
Jungkook can't help but steal glances at Taehyung – He's just so beautiful, and Jungkook obviously feels attracted towards him. It makes sense, they used to date, after all.
But attraction isn't enough for Jungkook to go back to being Taehyung's boyfriend. So, friends it is.
But that doesn't stop Jungkook's mind from spiralling at the sight of Taehyung's exposed collarbones, or at the way his mouth looks when he smiles.
He loves how Taehyung looks in the shirt he's wearing. It suits him so much.
Watching Taehyung talk, speak about the things he loves – Jungkook kind of gets it. He gets why he must have been in love with Taehyung. His energy is so positive and infectious.
Jungkook wishes he remembered.
"That's a lot to remember at one go." Jungkook says light heartedly, a small smile tugging at his lips.
Taehyung smiles wider this time. "I'm glad you don't have to introduce yourself all over again, at least."
And while it's sad, it's also kind of hilarious. And so, both of them break into a chuckle.
Their order had arrived midway through their conversation, and they're done with their food and coffee, too.
Both of them know it's time to leave, but neither of them get up yet.
"Do you want to order anything else?" Taehyung asks, not wanting to leave. He would do anything to spend even one more minute in Jungkook's presence.
Jungkook shakes his head. "I'm full."
Taehyung's heart drops a little. "Oh, okay."
"We can take a walk for a bit." Jungkook says. "There's a lake nearby, right?"
Taehyung's face lights up and there is a small, content smile on his face now. "Yeah, sure. I would love that."
They head out, and start to walk towards the lake. It's just around five minutes away, but both of them walk slowly – like they're in no rush to get there.
It makes Taehyung happy to see Jungkook taking his own sweet time, too.
When they reach the lake, Taehyung sits down in their usual spot unknowingly, and Jungkook sits beside him. To his right, like always.
Taehyung wonders if reliving experiences pieces his memory back in some ways, or if Jungkook sitting to his right is just a coincidence.
They sit and chat for a bit, and at some point, Jungkook's fingers accidentally brush against Taehyung's.
They both look down at their hands touching, and then back up at each other. Clearing his throat, Jungkook retracts his hand. "Sorry."
Taehyung smiles wistfully, missing the touch as soon as it's taken away from him. "Don't be. It's not a big deal. We've done worse."
Jungkook's face turns red, and he tries to bite back the smile that threatens to stretch his lips out. He doesn't even know why he wants to smile.
Suddenly, he's thinking of the photo of them kissing, the nude painting of himself he found in Taehyung's room, and the stash of condoms he discovered.
And with Taehyung right next to him, he suddenly feels a little hotter.
He looks away to compose himself again. Taehyung must really be a lovable person, he thinks. Given that they were dating and that Jungkook is genuinely enjoying his company already.
He thinks this wasn't a bad idea, after all.
They fall back into conversation easily. It's not awkward at all, and feels very natural. Jungkook feels like he's known Taehyung for ages – of course, he has, but even with his memory gone, Taehyung doesn't feel like a stranger to him right now.
Not anymore, at least.
They start to head back to their dorm, and this time someone approaches them.
"Hey Jungkook, are you doing okay?" The person asks. "Heard you had an accident."
Jungkook doesn't recognise him, but nods regardless. "Yeah, thanks for asking."
"It's good to see you both."
Jungkook nods, and waits for the person to walk away.
"Who...who was that?" Jungkook asks Taehyung.
"That was Moonjae. He's in my class." Taehyung says. "He knows you through me."
"Oh." Is all Jungkook says. "Do I have more friends through you?"
Taehyung smiles. "Yeah. A few."
Jungkook nods. "I saw some people I don't recognise in my camera roll."
"Ah, you looked through your camera?" Taehyung asks, and then jokes. "Sorry about my face filling up your camera."
Jungkook chuckles. "Nah. I must really like your face."
Taehyung blushes, feeling his heart throbbing against his chest again. "I see."
"I mean..." Jungkook shrugs. "You're very handsome. Very beautiful."
Taehyung blushes so hard that he doesn't even look at Jungkook anymore. "Oh, thank you."
"It's true." Jungkook says, looking down at the path they're walking on. "I can tell that I really enjoyed taking pictures of you."
Taehyung smiles. "You can take more. Someday. If you want, that is."
Jungkook smiles too. "Okay. Maybe."
"I'll introduce you to them again if you want." Taehyung says, then. "The other friends you've forgotten."
Jungkook nods. "Okay. That would be nice."
They're at the door of their rooms again, and it makes Taehyung a little sad.
He doesn't want to part ways yet.
"So. That's it, I guess." Jungkook says. "Let's hang out again sometime."
Taehyung doesn't say anything, just nods and smiles at Jungkook. But the longing must show on his face, because Jungkook is staring back at him with questioning, curious eyes.
"I'll..." Taehyung points his thumb to his dorm room door right behind him. "I'll get going, then."
Jungkook bites his lips and nods.
Taehyung can't bring himself to look away and turn around, though. He just wants to keep standing there.
And Jungkook must sense it.
Just as Taehyung finally pulls himself together and turns around, Jungkook speaks again.
"Wait, Taehyung." He says. "Are you... Are you okay?"
Taehyung turns around immediately. "Yeah."
He wonders just how obvious his desperation is.
Jungkook stares back at him, unconvinced. And then, he looks to the left and to the right. Taehyung gets goosebumps when Jungkook takes a few steps towards him, until they're just inches apart.
"Do you..." Jungkook says, clearing his throat again. "Do you want me to hold you?"
I hope you enjoyed reading this update! Let me know your thoughts.
Taehyung looks up, taken aback at the question in the best way possible.
It's so unexpected, that he doesn't even believe it at first. "Would you.... Would you do that for me?" He asks, eyes big and expectant.
Jungkook's own eyes grow larger in response, as he nods, lips pressed together. "Sure, if it helps make you feel better."
Taehyung takes a step forward, unsure how to go about this.
He's about to open his arms for Jungkook when there are footsteps and the noise of chatter approaching them.
Both of them immediately step back as some students pass them by.
Jungkook awkwardly stands there, not meeting Taehyung's eyes. But when the other students have entered their rooms and the corridor is empty again, they approach each other again.
But then, someone else walks into the corridor.
Jungkook lets out a sigh, and his brows draw closer together.
Taehyung has lost hope for a hug by now, and is about to suggest Jungkook to go back, when Jungkook suddenly dashes forward, holds Taehyung's wrist, and pushes the door of his dorm room open. Then, he pulls him in.
Taehyung is jolted forward into Jungkook's room, not even getting enough time to process what's happening.
It only sets in when Jungkook shuts the door of his room.
Taehyung takes a brief look around, and feels warm when he sees the old photographs still in place.
The big, monochrome one of him and Jungkook is missing though, and that makes him a little sad.
He's snapped out of his thoughts when Jungkook speaks to him again.
"Taehyung." Jungkook says, and then clears his throat, standing awkwardly with his hands on his hips. "I can hold you now, if you want. Nobody will walk in on us here."
Taehyung gulps, and tries to bite back a smile.
"What?" Jungkook asks, confused. "Why are you smiling?"
"You sound like we're doing something else." Taehyung says, shy. "Walk in on us."
Jungkook's eyes widen, and Taehyung thinks he's so cute like this.
Jungkook huffs then, and just bolts forward.
And before Taehyung can say anything else, he's being held in Jungkook's strong arms and his warm embrace, and Taehyung feels every trace of pain melt away.
Taehyung's arms wrap around Jungkook's neck and his eyes close involuntarily. He gasps from the sudden timing of the hug.
Jungkook holds him firmly, but gently. And then, he whispers into Taehyung's neck. "You sure talk a lot."
Taehyung giggles at that, can't help it. "Sorry if it was awkward."
"It wasn't." Jungkook reassures him, and Taehyung tries not get his hopes up too high as they keep holding each other.
"Thank you, Jungkook." Taehyung says, tightening his arms. "This feels really good. Can I please hold you for some more time?"
Jungkook hums, showing no signs of hesitation. "Sure."
"Why do you like being held by me?" Jungkook asks, voice soft and low.
"Now?" Taehyung asks. "Or in general?"
"Both...?" Jungkook says.
Taehyung sighs, and speaks out honestly. "Because this is my safe place. When you hold me, I feel like everything is going to be okay."
His words tug Jungkook's heart in all the right ways, and he doesn't even want to let Taehyung go anymore.
"Did we hug a lot?" Jungkook asks. "Cuddling?"
Taehyung laughs. "A lot would be an understatement."
"You wouldn't let me go." Taehyung says.
And Jungkook, shyly, says. "I can see why."
Taehyung stops giggling.
But Jungkook continues. "To be honest, this feels very safe and comfortable to me too. It's like my body remembers you."
"You think so?" Taehyung asks, trying to fight back tears. "You know, it will take everything in me to not keep on holding you like this all night ."
Jungkook swallows, but then breathes heavily against Taehyung's neck, words unsure. "Would it be okay to cuddle while we sleep?"
"What?" Taehyung asks, because he quite literally can't believe Jungkook just said that. "Sleep? Next to each other?"
Jungkook panics. "I mean, only if it's okay. I didn't mean it in a sexual way. Sorry, if that was weird. I don't know what I was thinking. Can we just forget–"
"I don't mind." Taehyung says, rubbing calming shapes with his palms on Jungkook's back, and Jungkook's body really must remember Taehyung because he instantly relaxes.
"It wouldn't be weird, right?" Jungkook akas again, just to make sure. "I don't know why, I just want to."
"It's okay." Taehyung gently pats him on the back, but his heart is racing in his chest. What even is happening?
"Thank you." Jungkook says.
"No, thank you." Taehyung corrects him. "And we've been standing here for too long."
"Oh. Should I pull back?" Jungkook asks.
"No. Stay like this." Taehyung says. "But can we sit?"
"Are your legs hurting?"
And Jungkook immediately holds Taehyung up in his arms, exactly the way he used to before, and places him on the bed, never breaking the hug.
Taehyung holds a hand over his mouth to stop a gasp from escaping, because this feels surreal. He can't believe Jungkook is doing this.
Even though they've done it a million times before, Taehyung has stopped expecting any form of affection from Jungkook after whatever happened.
"Am I being selfish?" Jungkook asks, as his body becomes heavy on top of Taehyung and they slowly lie down on his bed. "Holding you close because it feels good?"
"No, Jungkook." Taehyung says. "You're not being selfish. You're the most selfless person I know."
Jungkook buries his face deep into Taehyung's neck, unable to stop the way his body is turning into mush. Even if he's lost his memory, being so close to Taehyung, especially after the good time they had hanging out, makes him feel so good.
And Taehyung is so beautiful.
Jungkook wants to keep holding him like this too, but doesn't want to cross any lines.
"Are you sure you can sleep here?" He asks, still worried about Taehyung. "It won't be uncomfortable, right?"
"Jungkook." Taehyung says. "Do you know how many times I've slept here?"
Jungkook bites his lips. "Right, yeah. Sorry."
"Can I go and get changed into something more comfortable?" Taehyung asks.
But Jungkook doesn't want to let him go for long. "Umm, you can wear my clothes."
"Are you sure?" Taehyung asks in disbelief, and then teases. "They're going to smell like me."
"You smell good. I don't mind." Jungkook replies. "Do you want my hoodie? The one you like?"
"Okay." Is all Taehyung says. And he doesn't want to let go of the warmth either. "I'm pretty sure we've been hugging for like seven minutes straight."
Jungkook pulls back. "Sorry, umm, let me get you the hoodie."
Taehyung pouts but doesn't voice how he feels about Jungkook pulling away. He waits as Jungkook pulls the hoodie out of his closet and hands it to him. "Here. Get changed in the bathroom."
And with so much progress, Taehyung is getting brave. "Do you mind if I change here?"
Jungkook's eyes widen. "But I can see you."
'That's the point.' Taehyung thinks. "You've seen me hundreds of times before." He says instead, and smiles, a longing in his heart. "I miss us so much."
Jungkook leans against his closet. "Wouldn't it be weird if I saw you while you take off your clothes? We're not–"
Taehyung nods. "I know. We're not dating anymore. I don't mind, though. I loved being watched by you. But of course, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
Taehyung starts climbing off the bed, and makes his way towards the bathroom, when Jungkook calls out to him.
"Wait." He says, awkwardly crossing his arms. "Will it be wrong if you let me watch you?"
Taehyung tries to calm his beating heart. "Why would it be wrong? We're both single. Technically."
And it hurts him a little to say that because in his mind, he never, ever broke up with Jungkook.
Jungkook nods, but he's struggling in his mind because he can't understand his own thought process or what's happening to him. "Okay. I'm feeling a little shy."
Taehyung smiles, endeared. That right there, is his sweet boyfriend. "You don't have to if you don't want to."
"That's the thing." Jungkook says. "I want to. And I don't understand why. I'm not supposed to remember anything, and yet, it's like something in me refuses to let go of you."
Taehyung has to take a deep breath to keep himself from tearing up.
"Come here." He tells Jungkook. "Come stand in front of me."
Jungkook doesn't know where Taehyung is getting at, but he listens. He walks forward, confused, and stops when he's right in front of Taehyung, just inches away.
Taehyung holds the hoodie up so his hands aren't covering his torso anymore. "Unzip my pants, if you're comfortable with it."
Jungkook stares at him, but doesn't question him. It's a strange request, but Jungkook complies.
He gets down on one knee, unbuttons Taehyung's pants, and slowly pulls the zip down, heart hammering against his chest.
"Do I take it off?" He looks up and asks, and Taehyung nods.
Jungkook nods too, then, and pulls the fabric downwards, revealing smooth, golden skin. His hands tremble as he helps Taehyung shimmy out of the pants.
And when Taehyung places one hand on his shoulder for balance, Jungkook's heart skips a beat.
Taehyung kicks the pants away, and Jungkook stands up. Taehyung doesn't even have to instruct him anymore as Jungkook starts to help him get out of his shirt as well.
And Taehyung wants to cry, because this is so intimate, so reminiscent of their past relationship.
There's nothing sexual in the way Jungkook undresses him. It's just beautifully intimate, and it's breaking Taehyung's heart into pieces.
And it must be breaking Jungkook's too, because he feels a very familiar ache gnaw at his chest as he undresses Taehyung.
Taehyung holds out the hoodie in front of him. "Help me with this too?"
Jungkook doesn't hesitate this time, as he pulls it down over Taehyung's head and helps him with the sleeves, sliding the fabric down his exposed torso.
Taehyung stands straight, body engulfed in Jungkook's hoodie, and legs exposed. He places shaking hands on the waistband of Jungkook's jeans, and looks up at him for permission.
Jungkook's big doe eyes stare back at him, and there's no resistance in them.
Taehyung looks down then, and unbuttons it. He slowly pulls down the zip, his mind lighting up with memories of what he generally used to do after this. He controls his smile, and pulls down the pants.
And Jungkook – he doesn't feel as naked as he should in front of a stranger.
Taehyung straightens up again, then, and helps Jungkook out of his shirt. He needs to fetch something for him to wear too, but the urge to touch Jungkook's bare skin is insane.
It's been so long.
Taehyung keeps staring at Jungkook's body, and then unable to help himself, asks. "Can– Can I touch you?"
Jungkook has been watching him watch his body, and just wordlessly, politely nods.
Taehyung brings his palms up and gently lays them flat against Jungkook's chest. Upon realizing that it might be inappropriate to grab him there right now, he sheepishly slides his hands down, cheeks reddening.
Jungkook doesn't even flinch. Taehyung's touch is very warm.
"I'm... I'm going to get your hoodie." Taehyung slides his hands off.
"It's in the–" Jungkook begins.
"I know where it is." Taehyung cuts him off, walking off with a red face.
Jungkook just nods, goosebumps erupting on his whole body. "Okay."
Taehyung comes back with a black hoodie, unlike the grey one he's wearing himself. He slides it over Jungkook's head, and helps him the way Jungkook helped him just a few minutes ago.
He pats Jungkook's hair back into shape after it's messed up by the hoodie.
Jungkook keeps his pair of boxers on, and just watches Taehyung, mind unable to make sense of why this feels so personal to him.
Why he doesn't even mind. He wonders if it's the love they shared in the past or the attraction he feels for Taehyung now, or a mixture of both.
"So." Taehyung says, rubbing his hands awkwardly on his sides. "Was that very weird?"
Jungkook doesn't meet his eye as he shakes his head. "No, it felt nice."
Taehyung's heart clenches in his chest. "Do you want to cuddle now?"
Jungkook looks at him now, and nods shyly.
Jungkook takes a few steps backwards and waits for Taehyung to make a move, but both of them just awkwardly stand there.
And then, Jungkook runs out of fucks to give, and just dives in and grabs Taehyung's wrist. He pulls him towards the bed, and makes him sit on the edge.
"Move over." Jungkook says. "Make some space for me."
Taehyung smiles, because Jungkook is so adorable. "I'm not taking up much space." He says, just like he always used to.
Jungkook climbs into bed, sans the hesitation this time, and lies down next to Taehyung.
Taehyung turns sideways so they're both facing each other.
"You're beautiful." Jungkook says, staring into Taehyung's eyes.
"You must be looking into a mirror if you're saying that." Taehyung promptly says. "Come closer so I can hold you."
And Jungkook does, and slides his hands around Taehyung's waist, pulling him closer until their noses are almost touching.
"Oh." Taehyung says, in belated realisation. "I was supposed to be facing the other way."
There's a hint of a lazy smile on Jungkook's lips, as he buries his face deeper into the pillow. "It's okay. You can rest your head here." He points at the front of his neck.
Taehyung smiles back. It's surreal, unbelievable. He didn't have any hope for this. And yet. "Okay."
He inches closer until his face is squished against Jungkook's chest, and Jungkook wraps his hands around Taehyung in a very familiar way. It makes Taehyung tear up.
"I don't even know what we're doing." Jungkook breathes against his hair. "But it feels good."
Taehyung nods, and then smiles into Jungkook's chest. "See? I don't take up much space."
Jungkook hums, voice almost sleepy already. "Your ass takes up all the space, babe."
Taehyung freezes, eyes snapping open. It's the second time today.
Jungkook just said an inside joke – something he always used to say in bed, and Taehyung just doesn't know how to stay calm anymore.
[ On hold for now. I will focus on my other twt aus and ao3 fics first. I don't feel like writing the next update to this right now. I'll let you guys know when I do. ]