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Jan 26
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yjn has a mental breakdown in the middle of a scene with sbn 🔞cw) domtop sbn, subbtm yjn, subdrop, hurt/comfort “are you ready to start, baby?” “yes, sir.” yeᴏnjᴜn was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking up at sᴏᴏbɪn, who was standing in front of him. +

sbn panics after learning that yjn neglected to use his safeword 🔞cw) domtop sbn, subbtm yjn, domdrop, anxiety, hurt/comfort sᴏᴏbɪn knew things were getting intense. he knew things were getting to a point where he no longer felt in control, but he couldn’t seem to stop. +
more cw) insecurities, harsh degradation, rough sex, safeword use, lots of crying, and then soft sex, praises, and lovemaking
+ sᴏᴏbɪn’s hand was on yeᴏnjᴜn’s cheek, his thumb dragging across yeᴏnjᴜn’s lower lip. “good. now tell me, baby, what do you want tonight?” yeᴏnjᴜn thought about it. each time with sᴏᴏbɪn was different. they liked to try new things, to switch it up.
routine bored them both. but yeᴏnjᴜn’s absolute favorite was degradation. he loved when sᴏᴏbɪn made him feel less than, made him feel worthless. it always put him so deep into subspace that he could feel nothing other than pleasure.
he usually cried, and whined, which meant sᴏᴏbɪn loved it, too. it was special when the younger broke down the elder, tore him apart and put him back together again. “be mean to me, please. make me cry. put me in subspace. degrade me. humiliate m-”
sᴏᴏbɪn shushed him, a finger pushing his lips together. “slow down, baby. i understand.” he put a hand on yeᴏnjᴜn’s chest. “lean back for me.” yeᴏnjᴜn drew in a shaky breath. he was already so excited for what was to come. his cock was rock hard, laying on his stomach.
he tried not to think about it. he couldn’t get too carried away. sᴏᴏbɪn would most likely want to edge him tonight, so it was best if yeᴏnjᴜn held off his horniness as long as possible. “what’s your color baby?” yeᴏnjᴜn looked up at sᴏᴏbɪn who was now hovering over him.
“green.” after the last time, when sᴏᴏbɪn had a panic attack, they’d both agreed that a new form of checking in was needed. the color system was the best option. it made sense, and it was easy to remember.
and it also didn’t bring them out of the scene if they were both okay to keep going. and it also didn’t bring them out of the scene if they were both okay to keep going. “good.” sᴏᴏbɪn looked over yeᴏnjᴜn’s body one more time before leaning down and catching his lips.
yeᴏnjᴜn reciprocated, but only slightly. he already felt dizzy, his mind hazy. he wanted to let sᴏᴏbɪn do all the work. he laid there and let sᴏᴏbɪn bite and lick his lips. he was rough, just how yeᴏnjᴜn liked it.
sᴏᴏbɪn quickly moved on, his mouth working its way down yeᴏnjᴜn’s body. he sucked a hickey into yeᴏnjᴜn’s neck and ran his tongue over it. yeᴏnjᴜn whined and tried to turn his head away, but sᴏᴏbɪn grabbed him by his hair and held him in place. “stop moving, slut.”
yeᴏnjᴜn felt a pang of pain in his heart. real, genuine pain. but he knew that deep down he liked being called a slut. he just had to wait. sᴏᴏbɪn’s lips caressed his chest, his teeth nipping at skin. yeᴏnjᴜn tried to hold his noises in, but he couldn’t.
he moaned and whimpered at the pain of sᴏᴏbɪn biting at him. sᴏᴏbɪn stopped to look up at him. “shut the fuck up. you’re moaning like a bitch in heat and it’s distracting.” yeᴏnjᴜn felt tears spring to his eyes. sᴏᴏbɪn was being mean to him, just like he’d wanted.
but it didn’t feel good yet. it just felt bad. he usually really enjoyed the way sᴏᴏbɪn degraded him. it turned him on a lot. but now, his mind couldn’t help but think that sᴏᴏbɪn really meant his words. and it wasn’t turning him on at all.
but it was fine. he just wasn’t in subspace yet. if he just waited it out, he would start to feel really good soon. so, he slapped a hand over his mouth and kept quiet. sᴏᴏbɪn’s hands roamed, touching his hips and thighs, and his arms and stomach.
but they never touched where he actually wanted them. yeᴏnjᴜn couldn’t help it when his hips bucked as sᴏᴏbɪn got particularly close to touching his cock. he immediately regretted it after seeing the look in sᴏᴏbɪn’s eyes. he looked mad.
“didn’t i just tell you not to move?” yeᴏnjᴜn slowly nodded. “of course a stupid bitch like you can’t understand what i’m saying. i guess i just need to tie you up.” one half of yeᴏnjᴜn’s mind focused on the threat of tying him up. that sounded hot, and sexy.
but the other half kept replaying sᴏᴏbɪn’s words, when he’d called him a stupid bitch. sᴏᴏbɪn called him names like that all the time during sex. and it usually made yeᴏnjᴜn go crazy with a want to do better, to please his dom.
but right now, he could only feel remorse, like he’d let sᴏᴏbɪn down. like he was actually stupid, and that sᴏᴏbɪn thought so, too. “you’re so fucking dumb. and dumb whores don’t deserve to be touched.” sᴏᴏbɪn took his hands off yeᴏnjᴜn completely.
yeᴏnjᴜn let the tears fall, even though he didn’t want to. sᴏᴏbɪn’s words and actions were hurting him. and he knew he could make it stop at any time, but maybe he should wait longer. he still wasn’t in subspace yet.
if he could just be patient, sᴏᴏbɪn would soon put him in a mindset where he completely submitted and only felt pleasure. he wanted that. so he had to let sᴏᴏbɪn keep going.
“oh, and now you’re crying? fine, that’s it. if you want me to touch you again, you’re gonna have to beg for it.” yeᴏnjᴜn couldn’t even open his eyes to look at sᴏᴏbɪn. but he could tell from his voice that he meant it. he tried to beg. “please.”
the word came out sounding small and quiet. if yeᴏnjᴜn spoke any louder, he might’ve started sobbing for real. “not good enough. try harder, bitch.” yeᴏnjᴜn couldn’t get out his words, and just laid there. it prompted sᴏᴏbɪn to speak again. “what’s your color?”
yeᴏnjᴜn thought about it for a long time. he could say red and make this all stop right now. but he’d be ruining the fun, and he would never get to that lovely mindset that always made him see stars.
he could say yellow, but that might cause sᴏᴏbɪn to stop being mean to him, also preventing him from reaching subspace. so, that left him with one option. it didn’t feel right leaving his mouth, but he said it anyway. “green.” “fucking address me properly, slut."
yeᴏnjᴜn gulped, and tried to open his eyes to look at sᴏᴏbɪn. everything was blurry, his view obstructed by his tears. “green, sir.” “good. now keep begging.” yeᴏnjᴜn couldn’t even begin thinking of how to beg. he couldn’t think of any words to say.
his mind was still hung up on his own feelings. he needed to snap back into the scene. but he couldn’t. “i- i can’t. i can’t-” “that doesn’t sound like begging to me.” yeᴏnjᴜn threw his head back into the pillows. it was getting harder to breathe.
there was pain in his throat from trying not to cry. finally, he forced himself to say the correct words. “please, please touch m- me.” “stop stuttering. i know your brain isn’t that slow.” yeᴏnjᴜn’s next breath in was shaky.
he was starting to get to that mindless place, where everything felt empty. but usually, it felt light and good. now, it felt heavy and burdensome. it was dragging him down.
“or maybe it is. you have always been a bit stupid. you being slow would explain why you don’t fucking listen to me.” yeᴏnjᴜn threw his arm over his face. he couldn’t stop crying now and he didn’t want sᴏᴏbɪn to see and make fun of him.
but he also knew that his movement would probably make sᴏᴏbɪn mad anyways. there was no winning right now. thankfully, sᴏᴏbɪn let it slide. “try again. beg me more, whore.” yeᴏnjᴜn didn’t know how much longer he could handle this.
it still wasn’t feeling good, and he didn’t know if it ever would. he didn’t want to lay here anymore and let sᴏᴏbɪn degrade him. sᴏᴏbɪn’s words went straight to his heart and made him feel worthless, and that wasn’t supposed to happen.
he couldn’t wait any longer. “yellow.” the room was silent, the only sound being yeᴏnjᴜn’s sniffling. sᴏᴏbɪn didn’t say anything for a long time. but he eventually asked, “what’s wrong?”
yeᴏnjᴜn wasn’t looking at sᴏᴏbɪn, but he could tell from his voice that he was annoyed and bored and probably hated yeᴏnjᴜn for ruining the moment. “i’m sorry.” it was the only thing yeᴏnjᴜn could force out before breaking down into sobs.
his body shook and he couldn’t stop the pathetic noises leaving his mouth. worst of all, sᴏᴏbɪn still wasn’t touching him. he wasn’t even speaking. yeᴏnjᴜn cried even harder. why wasn’t sᴏᴏbɪn saying anything? did he really not care?
yeᴏnjᴜn suddenly feared that everything sᴏᴏbɪn had said and done were not part of the scene, but were real. yeᴏnjᴜn had said yellow but nothing had changed. he couldn’t deal with the silence any longer. he had to make it stop, even if by his own doing.
“red, red, please.” there was a brief moment where still, nothing happened. but thankfully, it was just that, brief. in the next moment, sᴏᴏbɪn’s hands were on him. he was wrapping his arms around yeᴏnjᴜn’s body. he was whispering into his ear and shushing his cries.
he was kissing his cheek and petting his hair. and yeᴏnjᴜn just felt so overwhelmed that he let it all go. he sobbed as loud as he wanted, allowed his body to twist and shake as the emotions coursed through him.
the tears ran past his ears and all the way down to the sheets, soaking them. his mouth was open, unable to be shut. yeᴏnjᴜn didn’t think he had ever cried this hard. but sᴏᴏbɪn was there. and that was helping.
he finally felt safe enough to let his emotions out, to cry as much as he needed. he’d been worried before that sᴏᴏbɪn would be upset or mad about having to stop things. but he wasn’t. he was loving and sweet and caring. he made sure yeᴏnjᴜn felt comfortable and loved.
and yeᴏnjᴜn didn’t know how he could ever think any differently of his boyfriend. he almost felt guilty for ever having doubts. sᴏᴏbɪn would never intentionally make yeᴏnjᴜn feel awful.
he would never do the things he threatened, and he would never truly feel the words he said. it was all part of an act, and yeᴏnjᴜn just couldn’t get into that headspace tonight. sᴏᴏbɪn pulled yeᴏnjᴜn up into a sitting position.
yeᴏnjᴜn couldn’t find the strength to move himself, so sᴏᴏbɪn did it for him, lifting yeᴏnjᴜn just enough to sit him on his lap and wrap his arms around him. yeᴏnjᴜn could barely hear sᴏᴏbɪn over the sounds of his own sobs.
“shhh, baby. it’s okay. you’re okay. i’ve got you.” sᴏᴏbɪn’s hands moved up from his torso to his head, his fingers stroking over his hair. “i love you, baby. i’m sorry i took it too far.” yeᴏnjᴜn tried to shake his head. that wasn’t it at all. sᴏᴏbɪn did nothing wrong.
it was all yeᴏnjᴜn’s fault. he was the one who wasn’t strong enough to handle everything. he was weak, and insecure. his mental breakdown was entirely his fault. but he couldn’t voice these thoughts to sᴏᴏbɪn, not able to even catch a breath between his heaving sobs.
so, he was forced to sit there and listen to the comforting and reassuring words coming from his boyfriend’s mouth. “i love you so much, sweetheart. i hope you know that i didn’t mean any of the words i said. i care about you so much and would never hurt you on purpose.”
yeᴏnjᴜn nodded, trying to show sᴏᴏbɪn that he was listening and that he understood. “you are so precious to me. and i’m so sorry that things got too intense tonight.” sᴏᴏbɪn took a deep breath. “you know i love you, right?” yeᴏnjᴜn looked up at sᴏᴏbɪn’s face.
he looked teary-eyed as well. “yeah.” yeᴏnjᴜn’s voice was scratchy and rough, but sᴏᴏbɪn didn’t seem to care. he smiled and kissed yeᴏnjᴜn’s cheeks. or, well, he kissed all over yeᴏnjᴜn’s face, his last placement of his lips being on the mole next to yeᴏnjᴜn’s eye.
sᴏᴏbɪn had always loved to kiss him there. yeᴏnjᴜn smiled through his tears. he was so lucky to have someone like sᴏᴏbɪn. “i love you, too.” sᴏᴏbɪn’s own tears fell from his eyes. yeᴏnjᴜn felt guilty for having caused sᴏᴏbɪn pain.
watching him cry hurt him just as much as all the harsh words had. “i love you. and i’m sorry.” yeᴏnjᴜn whispered against sᴏᴏbɪn’s neck. his lips reached for the skin there, but his head was pulled away. sᴏᴏbɪn looked him straight in the eyes.
“no, baby, why are you apologizing?” yeᴏnjᴜn took in a shaky breath. “because, i couldn’t handle it. it was my fault we couldn’t keep going. i ruined it.”
“no, no, please, yeᴏnjᴜn. you didn’t ruin anything, and it wasn’t your fault. please don’t feel guilty. if anything, it’s my fault for not noticing sooner that you weren’t feeling good.” “i was the one who didn’t safeword sooner. it’s not your fault either.”
sᴏᴏbɪn pushed yeᴏnjᴜn’s head back to his shoulder. “so, it’s neither of our faults, okay? it just wasn’t meant to happen tonight. and don’t worry, it’s over now.” but yeᴏnjᴜn didn’t want it to be over.
he still wanted sᴏᴏbɪn to hold him and love him, just… without the other stuff. “i don’t- i don’t want it to be over.” sᴏᴏbɪn hummed. “you don’t?” yeᴏnjᴜn shook his head. “no. i’m still horny.” he giggled. “and i want you to love me.” sᴏᴏbɪn grinned at him.
“of course, baby. i’ll do anything you want. as long as you’re sure.” yeᴏnjᴜn felt like crying even harder. sᴏᴏbɪn was so kind and considerate. “i’m sure. just don’t… don’t be mean anymore.” “of course not, sweetheart. i’ll be so gentle and loving.”
sᴏᴏbɪn placed him back down on the bed. “just lay down and let me take care of you.” yeᴏnjᴜn wiped his eyes dry, and waited patiently. sᴏᴏbɪn started by kissing him again, so gently. yeᴏnjᴜn kissed back, slowly moving his lips against sᴏᴏbɪn’s.
sᴏᴏbɪn spent a long time on his lips, which yeᴏnjᴜn enjoyed. but he did eventually move further south. his lips touched as many spots on yeᴏnjᴜn’s body as he could. he didn’t bite, or lick, just pressed his lips to the skin before moving on.
he spent extra time on yeᴏnjᴜn’s stomach, making yeᴏnjᴜn giggle from the ticklish feeling. and finally, his lips reached yeᴏnjᴜn’s cock. yeᴏnjᴜn moaned as he took the head into his mouth and sucked.
he bobbed his head up and down slowly, making sure his tongue dragged against yeᴏnjᴜn’s length. yeᴏnjᴜn whined and covered his face with his hands. he couldn’t stand to look at sᴏᴏbɪn while he did that. he would end up cumming way too fast. “feel good, baby?”
yeᴏnjᴜn nodded enthusiastically. he accidentally allowed his hips to thrust up into the wet heat of sᴏᴏbɪn’s mouth, but he was not reprimanded for it. instead, sᴏᴏbɪn reassured him. “you know you can still tell me to stop at any time.”
sᴏᴏbɪn’s mouth moved again, this time to his thighs. he gently nibbled on the soft flesh, and yeᴏnjᴜn squirmed. “mmm fuck, sᴏᴏbɪn.” yeᴏnjᴜn tried to push his knees together, but sᴏᴏbɪn’s hands forced them apart.
his lips went back to yeᴏnjᴜn’s cock, and his fingers found yeᴏnjᴜn’s hole. yeᴏnjᴜn didn’t even know when sᴏᴏbɪn had gotten lube, but there were cold, wet fingers pressing into him. just two, but it was enough to make yeᴏnjᴜn groan louder than ever before.
he bucked up again, arching his back and trying to get as much friction on his cock as possible. sᴏᴏbɪn lifted his head and started kissing yeᴏnjᴜn’s stomach again, whispering praises in between each press of his lips.
“you’re so good for me, baby.” /kiss/ “so perfect.” /kiss/ “so beautiful.” /kiss/ yeᴏnjᴜn felt the tears spring to his eyes once more, overwhelmed by sᴏᴏbɪn’s words. and by the fact that he had now worked up the four fingers.
he moved them slowly in and out of yeᴏnjᴜn, making sure he was thoroughly prepped. “you are more precious than anything in this world, my love.” sᴏᴏbɪn slid his cock into yeᴏnjᴜn’s hole then, barely moving forward as to make sure that yeᴏnjᴜn was comfortable.
yeᴏnjᴜn breathed deeply as he adjusted to the stretch. and when he finally was, he asked sᴏᴏbɪn to move. “of course, darling. anything for you.” sᴏᴏbɪn pressed his lips to yeᴏnjᴜn’s once more, but with a bit more force this time.
the kisses were much more sensual than before. sᴏᴏbɪn licked across yeᴏnjᴜn’s lips and over his tongue. he nipped at yeᴏnjᴜn’s lips and shoved his tongue between yeᴏnjᴜn’s teeth. he even accidentally knocked their teeth together, which only resulted in yeᴏnjᴜn giggling.
finally, sᴏᴏbɪn pulled out just barely, and then slowly pushed his cock back into yeᴏnjᴜn. he drank up yeᴏnjᴜn’s moans as he did so, preventing any noises from escaping between their lips. sᴏᴏbɪn kept the pace slow.
he never stopped kissing yeᴏnjᴜn, and his hands continued to roam his body. he rubbed up and down his sides, and over his shoulders. once he had built up a fast enough pace, his hands stopped to hold onto yeᴏnjᴜn’s hips. his lips couldn’t stay in one spot anymore.
they strayed from yeᴏnjᴜn’s lips to yeᴏnjᴜn’s jaw and then to yeᴏnjᴜn’s neck. his hips didn’t move too fast, but each thrust was powerful. yeᴏnjᴜn could feel everything with such profound intensity. and when sᴏᴏbɪn’s cock finally hit his prostate, he saw stars.
he wrapped his arms around sᴏᴏbɪn’s neck and pulled him closer, his hips moving of their own accord in time with sᴏᴏbɪn’s thrusts. one of sᴏᴏbɪn’s hands moved from his hip to his cock, and also stroked it in pace with his thrusts.
yeᴏnjᴜn felt like they were moving together as one being, and with as close together as they were, they might as well have been one being. yeᴏnjᴜn grabbed onto sᴏᴏbɪn’s head and pulled his lips back towards his own. he kissed him roughly as he came over sᴏᴏbɪn’s fist.
sᴏᴏbɪn fucked him through his orgasm, but soon reached his own. he pulled out and added to the mess on yeᴏnjᴜn’s stomach, still stroking both himself and yeᴏnjᴜn. eventually, when yeᴏnjᴜn’s whines of pleasure turned to whines of pain, sᴏᴏbɪn stopped.
he collapsed beside yeᴏnjᴜn, but pulled him close again. “are you okay, baby? was that… okay?”
“yes, sᴏᴏbɪn. that was perfect.” yeᴏnjᴜn tried to stay awake so he could snuggle sᴏᴏbɪn, but after everything he’d been through, he found it hard to keep his eyes open. he squeezed sᴏᴏbɪn one last time before drifting off.
the end. i'll post to ao3 tomorrow


lover of all things +x+, 20, minors dnf&dni, NO AGE IN BIO = BLOCK, nsfw, priv (moots only): dm me for @
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