thinking about android!sbn and engineer!ynjvn again.
it’s a pretty normal day, ynjvn is able to work from home today, using the opportunity to observe sbn’s behavior outside of the lab, watching him fulfill his tasks in an everyday environment.
sbn is able to complete most of his work without ynjvn’s help and ynjvn is happy with that development. sbn is improving at a much quicker pace than he had anticipated and although the android has displayed some weird behavior, ynjvn doesn’t think it’s major enough to make+
adjustments in the programming. he’d been worried at first when sbn started showing an increasing interest in the dynamics of human relationships, platonic relationships as well as romantic relationships, but since his system didn’t show any irregularities, he figured it was+
part of his learning software. if sbn was going to help humans with their everyday life, he had to be able to understand how their interactions worked. it seemed logical. ynjvn benefited from sbn’s growing abilities as well. to be honest, he hasn’t lived this comfortably in a+
long time and he almost dreaded the day when the experiments were done and he had to return sbn to the lab to have part of his memory be reset so he can be used for his intended purpose. ynjvn has gotten used to sbn’s presence and he would go as far as call him a friend.
ynjvn frowns. he isn’t supposed to think of sbn as a friend.rationally, ynjvn knows sbn isn’t human, knows he’s a machine that he programmed, but sometimes when watching sbn, it’s easy to forget that he’s different. ynjvn is still frowning at his notebook when sbn approaches him.
“is there something bothering you?” sbn is standing in front of ynjvn and there’s something like concern etched into his features. it makes ynjvn pause. the concern looks so real, so honest. ynjvn suddenly feels an uncomfortable fluttering in his stomach and he closes his eyes+
for a second to get rid of it. he can’t think like this. he opens his eyes again and sends sbn what he hopes to be a reassuring smile. “it’s nothing. just work.” sbn nods once and then folds his hands behind his back. “is there anything i can do to help?”
ah, there it is. sbn is back to his regular android self. it’s weird, really, how quickly he seems to change from human to android. sometimes ynjvn feels like he can’t keep up with it. “no, you’re already helping me enough.” ynjvn attempts to collect his notes, but a quiet noise+
from sbn makes him stop. looking back at the android, ynjvn finds him looking confused. sbn’s eyebrows are furrowed and he is looking at ynjvn’s notes. “i know you are watching me, but i’m not quite sure what the reason is.” now it’s ynjvn’s turn to be confused.
how does sbn not know? “i’m observing your behavior, your progress. it’s important to collect as much data as possible.” they’re looking at each other for a moment and sbn suddenly looks uncomfortable. “do you do this with everyone?”
“what do you mean, everyone? you’re the first of your kind.” ynjvn suddenly feels like he knows exactly what’s bothering sbn and with a sudden surge of panic, he starts collecting his notes again. his hands are shaking and he isn’t looking at sbn anymore.
he doesn’t want to have this conversation with sbn. ynjvn won’t be able to pretend anymore, won’t be able to act like sbn is just a robot.
“the first of my kind.” sbn’s voice is quiet and there’s a hint of … sadness? ynjvn can’t quite place it. “i’m not like you.”
it doesn’t sound like a question, it sounds more like sbn is only now realizing that he’s different from ynjvn. suddenly, sbn is reaching out to grab ynjvn’s papers but ynjvn catches sbn’s wrist before he’s able to. ynjvn has a bas feeling about this. “sbn, you shouldn’t…”
with a quick movement, sbn frees his wrist from ynjvn’s hold and instead wraps his long fingers around ynjvn’s wrist. there’s a moment where ynjvn holds his breath and then sbn’s fingers rest on top of ynjvn’s pulse. sbn makes a noise of distress and his fingers dig into ynjvn’s+
skin. ynjvn gasps and instinctively tries to pull his hand back. but sbn has already let go of him, placing his fingers over the spot on his other wrist where a human would have a pulse. ynjvn watches him quietly. for some reason he feels afraid. he hadn’t planned for sbn to act+
like this. he should’ve noticed when sbn started displaying more human traits than he was supposed to, but he ignored the signs. he hadn’t thought … hadn’t thought what? that sbn would gain so much conscience? that sbn would question himself like this?
ynjvn takes a step forward, attempting to reach out to sbn, but the android steps back, eyes trained on his wrist while his fingers seem to be moving as if they were searching for a pulse that they obviously weren’t going to find. “sbn, talk to me. i need to know…”
sbn interrupts him. “need to know for what? for your work? for your experiments?” the sharpness of sbn’s voice surprises ynjvn and he flinches. sbn is right of course, ynjvn needs to know if it’s an inconsistency in the android’s programming that’s causing this, but ynjvn can’t+
just say that. ynjvn also doesn’t want to admit that there might be more reasons for him to care. he can’t. “i can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”at least this is true for all of his reasons. something flickers behind sbn’s eyes and then, even though he appears a little calmer,
there’s still obvious distress showing on his face. ynjvn thinks he sees something like sadness as well, but maybe sbn just looks defeated. “i just … i guess, i thought i was like you. i thought i was alive.”