The Life of an Immortal Dumbass; A #BKDK / #DKBK socmed AU

Details: -Izuku is a civilian (for now) -Izuku has a quirk -Class 1-A just graduated and are 19-20 -Slow Burn -Crack -Katsuki & Izuku don’t know each other -More ships & Characters will be added later -Other ships TBD

IZUKU

BAKUSQUAD (1/2)

BAKUSQUAD (2/2)

OTHER HEROES (1/2)

OTHER HEROES (2/2)

PRIVATE ACCOUNTS

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Izuku Midoriya, twenty, normal civilian. He's plain-looking, around the height of 6'0, soft green-ish black hair and freckles dotting every piece of skin. He's normal. He's plain. He's immortal. You may be thinking, what in tarnation?, I know, we did the same.

But yes, this tall, plain dude happens to have the one immortality quirk in existence, and he's a civilian? The guy has never had an urge to become a hero, so he stayed civilian.

Although he's been alive since the dawn of quirks and is basically a multi-billionaire, he's a plain, boring guy. I know, shitty main character. Was the budget cut or something? (Probably, honestly who hired this dude?)

The Hero Commission has tried to recruit the man for years, but he always shrugged and flipped them off. He had no interest in being a hero. Sure, he's saved like, one kid from being kidnapped, maybe walked a few grannies across the street,

and did a bunch of charity things with his money, but that was just him being rich and bored out of his mind. I mean, he has been alive since the dawn of quirks. Being over two hundred years old can get pretty boring.

(All for One can testify, they used to have tea on Tuesdays a hundred-and-fifty years ago.) -

Izuku walks down the street, bored out of his mind. Another day, nothing new. Hey, he did break his toe last night stubbing it on his couch, but that's old news. (It healed in a few seconds.) So, here he is, just listening to pre-quirk music classics,

jamming out to Lil Nas X and whatever shit he has on his playlist. (That this is a mess.) Suddenly there's horrified screams and Izuku stopped moving. He can feel something entering his body, but can't feel the pain.

(He's become immune and numb to it after his first five deaths.) Izuku's green eyes track down, looking at a shocked man who currently has a giant hunting knife deep inside his gut. Ouchie.

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They both stare at each other, the man's cobalt eyes getting more wide and frantic by the second, and Izuku just standing there, unmoving. The man turns the knife, thrusting it deeper, sinking it to the hilt. Izuku blinks. The man blinks. Everyone blinks. Izuku,

finally after his rationality steps in and he realizes a dude is knife-deep in his gut, steps back, the knife sliding out with an audible 'pop.' The man cringes, but gawks at the completely clean knife for a moment before Izuku turns on his heel and round-houses the man,

knocking him out. Izuku whines, "That was a new fucking shirt, asshole!" Izuku huffs, grumbling. Why didn't he wear the ones infused with his DNA?! His poor shirt... Izuku pouts slightly, but walks off, leaving the man on the sidewalk,

merging with the gawking crowd, turning his music back on. Not his problem. -

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[TBC! Welcome to the absolute fuckery this socmed au is :3 it's nine am,, and i slept two hours so sorry for any typos lol. Anyways, QRTs & RTs are appreciated! https://ko-fi.com/tiredneedssleep

here's my cc if you have any questions, comments, or concerns for my sleep schedule, throw them here! bye-bye lol ] https://curiouscat.qa/tiredwrites

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The clip goes viral, obviously. Seeing a dude not react to being stabbed and not bleeding is pretty fucking weird, and cool. His Twitter followers (those lovely...assholes) laughed in his face. That was...nice. (Sarcasm.)

Izuku honestly just wants to live a peaceful life, be smothered with his four Maine coon cats, and live out his immortal life in this god-forsaken place. What he doesn't want IS HEROES SHOWING UP ON HIS DOORSTEP.

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Izuku stares at DynaMight and Red Riot for a moment, clearing his throat. "No." Izuku slams the door shut. Nope. Not today. -

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[TBC! sorry for the really late update,, i woke up earlier after sleeping 13 hours LOL,, Anyways thanks for all the QRTs! They make me laugh lol. https://ko-fi.com/tiredneedssleep

if you have any questions for me, feel free to ask here! Bye-bye!] https://curiouscat.qa/tiredwrites

[sorry for no updates on this thread. I’ve decided to pause for a few days to figure out where this thread is gonna go because I’m a dummy & started it too soon, and I didn’t have a proper plot to go off. I’ll hopefully start updates again soon! -tired]

[hello.. again,, I dunno about steady updates on this au but I’ll try <33]

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Kirishima and Katsuki stare at the door that was just slammed in their faces, gaping. Katsuki looks two seconds from blowing up the door but Kirishima sighs. "Let's try another day,"

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He groans, and suddenly there's another voice blaring, and they both jump, looking around. "The doorbell, dumbasses." The...doorbell? speaks, and they can see the blue ring around the button.

"Please don't come back tomorrow, or ever. I don't know what you and your.. big titty explosion man came here to achieve, but It's a solid...no. Really, I DON'T WANT TO BE A HERO. Now...shoo,"

Izuku groans into the speaker as Katsuki's starting to reach boiling point, palms crackling to life. Kirishima saves the man's doorstep by dragging his friend away,

who mumbles curses that sound like he's cursing someone with some sort of cultist bullshit Tokoyami was in under his breath, leaving in Kirishima's car. Well. That was a bust. -

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[TBC!! i haven't done these in a hot sec so I'm a lil rusty lol,, anyways, izuku has no brain to mouth fliter,, that was lost in the making of him LMAO,, see u next update (if i forget abt this, remind me,, don't be afraid) https://ko-fi.com/tiredneedssleep

any questions, incoherent screeches, or concerns, go here on my CC! till next time, my little heathens <3] https://curiouscat.qa/tiredwrites