Namjin AU - Cooking Together #NamjinWeek21#NJday2
“Having fun, Joonie?” Jin asks with a smile on his face and in his voice as he glanced across the kitchen island at Joon. He’s sitting on one of the stools and pretends to be working on something, yet more often than +
not, Jin caught him glancing at him & smiling at himself as he pretends he wasn’t just staring. It’s cute, funny, but it also does less than funny things to Jin’s poor little heart.
“Do you want some help, hyung?” Joon asks eventually while laying his pen aside, work forgotten.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Jin asks, one eyebrow cocked skeptically.
“I’m not that bad in the kitchen anymore, come on.”
“My favorite pan begs to differ, Joonie.”
Joon closes his mouth with a click and a blush on his cheeks. It’s cute. Too cute. Sometimes Jin wishes +
he’s be just a little less cute. It would make his life and his unrequited feelings so much more bearable. And yet here he is.
“Fine, come on.”
Joon’s eyes practically light up with surprise and excitement at those words. Jin hands him an apron and gives him detailed +
instructions on what to do. Joon listens and follows without complaint and it—it works. Well, for the most part.
“A little thinner,” Jin points out and Joon nods and tries again, a crease between his brows with concentration.
Somewhere halfway toward a finished meal, because +
obviously he must love torturing himself, Jin asks: “How was your date?”
It’d been two days ago and so far Joon hadn’t said a thing about it. A selfish part of him hoped for… something, that he guy was a d*ck maybe, but he felt guilty for it, never wanted Joon to have a bad +
experience ever. His treacherous heart had wishes and dreams, but he didn’t want them fulfilled at Joon’s expense. Besides, he didn’t have a chance anyway so what would it matter. The only thing that did matter was for Joon to be happy. Regardless with whom. Right?
Joon shrugs and doesn’t look up.
“Not good? Does hyung need to go and kick his a*s? You know I would.” That makes Joon smile, a little at least.
“He just…” he trails off, closes his eyes and then sets down the knife he’d used. “He just wasn’t you.”
He has to have misheard +
that because there is no way, impossible, that Joon just said that. And yet, his heart quickens anyway, uncaring, ready to be hurt if indeed he heard wrong.
Joon exhales, squeezes his eyes shut even more before finally turning so he can look at Jin. The look on his +
face, it’s almost scary in a way of it being so open, honest, his eyes as though filled with self doubt and worry, an ocean so vast and deep, glassy with tears ready to fall should things go wrong. The sight alone almost makes Jin fall to his knees, overwhelmed.
“I said the date wasn’t good, not because the guy sucked, but because he just wasn’t you, Seokjin hyung,” Joon says, voice unsteady. “And I’m sorry if this will make things weird or awkward but I just—I don’t want to go on any more dates unless they are with you. Don’t +
want to smile and laugh across a dinner table unless it’s at one of your jokes that shouldn’t be funny yet they are each time. I don’t want to hold anyones hand unless it’s yours with your crooked fingers and warmth. And maybe that makes me selfish, just dumping all this at you +
out of the blue, but I just—I really like you, hyung, a lot, and it hurts to pretend like it isn’t so. I’m sorry.”
“You never have to apologize for feeling the way you do, Joon-ah,” Jin says, his mind and heart racing as though a mile a minute trying to process the fact that +
Joon really just said that.
“Do you want me to leave?” Joon asks and he sounds and looks so small as he does, and Jin? He never wants him to look so afraid and doubtful ever again. Not when it’s in regard to him.
Quickly he turns off the stove and crosses the distance between +
them until he stands right in front of Joon. “Can I hug you?” He doesn’t answer, just nods, so Jin closes the last bit of distance and hugs him tight, arms around Joon’s neck and his face pressed against it as well. Hesitantly he feels Joon hug him back, palms flat against +
Jin’s back, their chests so tightly against each other Jin can feel how hard Joon’s heart is beating.
“Joonie?” A hum. “I’d love yo go on a date with you, hold your hand, and tell you any dumb joke you’d like to hear.”
“I was sure you didn’t like me, that’s why +
I’d encouraged you to go on those dates even if it hurt to see you go. And in reality I only hurt both of us that way, so it’s me who’s sorry.”
Joon pulls back and so does Jin, their eyes meeting, faces closer than him remember ever being. There’s a tear running down Joon’s +
cheek making Jin’s heart ache at the sight.
“Please don’t cry, Joonie, hyung really is sorry,” he says and wipes away the tear with his thumb. Joon’s eyes fall shut for a moment before opening again.
“Can I kiss you?”
Instead of words, Jin tilts his head up just a little +
and closes the distance between them, lips soft against each other, the feeling so soft and like coming home, a warmth spreading through his entire body. Joon smiles as Jin pulls away to look at him, happy. Then they kiss again, and again, hesitance melting into confidence +
no more words being needed for now. Not when their kisses and wandering hands can do the talking just fine.
Their dinner though remains half cooked that day, replaced by delivery pizza and more kisses, smiles and happy fuzzy feelings.
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