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Oliver Darkshire 🌈

Oliver Darkshire 🌈

Apr 20
8 tweets

DUNGEON MASTER: so you've been told that if you turn around you will lose your beloved to the underworld forever ORPHEUS: i check for traps ORPHEUS: oh NO

DUNGEON MASTER: ok so you are trapped in the dark with the terrible minotaur, what do you do THESEUS: i feel for his muscular thigh and roll animal handling DUNGEON MASTER: for the last time that is NOT what that ability does
DUNGEON MASTER: ok so you roll another 1 and the rock falls back down the hill SISYPHUS: i try again DUNGEON MASTER: we have been at this for TWO HOURS can you PLEASE try something else
DUNGEON MASTER: are you really sure you want to do this PARIS: look i just want to seduce his wife what is the worst that could happen I ROLL PERSUASION
DUNGEON MASTER: okay Medea the rest of the party is away this session so maybe we could do something small, a side story, nothing too dramatic MEDEA: i kill my children and flee to athens
DUNGEON MASTER: again daedalus i have to remind you that the fly spell will only work if you both stay in range DAEDALUS: yes this will be fine wont it icarus ICARUS: so, no reason in particular, but how does splitting the party work
DUNGEON MASTER: you want to do *what* ODYSSEUS: I take out my woodcarvers kit and I build a gigantic hollow wooden horse DUNGEON MASTER: i wish you would take this game seriously ODYSSEUS: dont rush me, thats what killed ajax
DUNGEON MASTER: ok so you are a level one fighter in ancient greece, and you see Zeus looking at y- PLAYER: I quit [tears up character sheet]
Oliver Darkshire 🌈

Oliver Darkshire 🌈

d&d/ttrpgs • queer rampage 🏳️‍🌈 • narcoleptic ♿ • kink/gay rage • will write for sandwiches • ONCE UPON A TOME (Transworld, 2022) • he/him
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