“hyung? did something happen?” “he had a ring, i just found it … he had a ring” in his grief, ynjvn finds a shoulder to lean on in thyvn. but when comfort turns into something deeper, ynjvn starts feeling guilty. what about sbn? cw // explicit sexual content

thyvn is in front of ynjvn’s apartment in less than 30 minutes. he doesn’t wait for ynjvn to open up, he knows the code. ynjvn is glad he gave it to him because he isn’t sure whether he’s able to get up. he’s still clutching the little box to his chest while sobs wreck through+

his body, shaking him. sbn had been planning to propose to him. ynjvn doesn’t know how long this ring had been in that drawer but it doesn’t matter anymore. sbn won’t be able to give it to him. ynjvn doesn’t even register thyvn kneeling down beside him until he feels strong arms+

wrap around him, holding him tight in an attempt to soothe him. for some reason, it makes ynjvn panic even more. he feels trapped, like the walls are closing in on him and suddenly there’s a burning sensation under his skin and he begins to feel hot and cold at the same time. he+

doesn’t know what it is, he just knows he needs to do something. ynjvn starts struggling against thyvn’s hold and for some reason, he seems to find his voice again, yelling at thyvn to let him go. “i can’t, i-“ ynjvn can’t breathe, he’s gasping for air, scratching at thyvn’s+

arms. but thyvn doesn’t let go. if anything, his grip around ynjvn tightens and eventually, ynjvn stops struggling. he feels weak, the constant crying finally taking a toll on his body. he’s still sobbing, but there are no sounds leaving his lips. thyvn has begun stroking+

ynjvn’s hair and it feels soothing. ynjvn just wants to close his eyes, he wants to let go. “it’s okay, hyung. i’m here.” — when ynjvn wakes up again, he’s in his bed. it takes him a moment to fully regain consciousness, but there is a weight around his waist, and upon+

looking down, he sees that there’s an arm wrapped around him. he draws in a sharp breath. it can’t be … “sorry, you didn’t want me to let go.” of course. ynjvn almost wants to laugh at himself. it can’t be sbn. sbn is dead. ynjvn closes his eyes again and tries not to start+

crying again. will he ever feel better? he doesn’t want to hurt anymore. — it’s not that easy because of course it isn’t. ynjvn feels like all the progress he’s made is gone and he’s right back where he started. but thyvn stays at his side. it’s weird. thyvn was already there+

before the ring incident but it’s only now that ynjvn really notices his presence. he has more or less moved into ynjvn’s apartment, helping him pack up the rest of sbn’s stuff, making sure ynjvn is eating and just keeping him company. it can’t be easy on him either and ynjvn+

can’t help but feel guilty for relying on the younger like that. but when ynjvn tells thyvn that, thyvn just smiles and shakes his head. “i’m here because i want to be here. i’m here for you.” and maybe ynjvn is selfish but he accepts it. he feels better with thyvn at his side+

and maybe it’s not fair to ask thyvn to sit with him until he falls asleep, maybe it’s not fair that he wakes thyvn up in the middle of the night when he dreamt of sbn, but ynjvn can’t bring himself to send thyvn away. days turn into weeks and then thyvn has been living with+

ynjvn for almost three months already. ynjvn still misses sbn, the aching in his chest is constant and he still hasn’t gotten used to the thought of never seeing him again. but at least he can sleep again. and when thyvn accidentally mentions sbn’s name, ynjvn no longer flinches+

or has to force himself to not start crying on the spot. he’s far from fine but it seems as if he’s starting to heal. —

they’re sitting on the couch, a bottle of wine on the table in front of them, their glasses almost empty. ynjvn has his head on thyvn’s shoulder, smiling a little to himself while he’s listening to the other tell a story. “… and then remember when sbn hyung-“ thyvn abruptly+

stops talking, tensing up. ynjvn waits for the pain for to come, but for some reason it doesn’t. there’s a slight ache but for some reason he doesn’t feel like crying, he doesn’t feel like running. he lifts his head from thyvn’s shoulder and just smiles a little. “i remember.”

his voice is quiet and when he raises his head again to look at thyvn, he finds the other looking back at him. there’s a slight pause and then they’re both leaning in. it seems thyvn is hesitating, so ynjvn is the one to fully close the distance, pressing his lips against+

thyvn’s. it takes a second but then thyvn is responding to the kiss, hands reaching out to cup the back of ynjvn’s head. ynjvn parts his lips and allows thyvn’s tongue to meet his, moving alongside each other with growing intensity. ynjvn sucks lightly on thyvn’s tongue and the+

other moans quietly. following a sudden impulse, ynjvn climbs onto thyvn’s lap without breaking away from the kiss. thyvn’s arms move to circle around ynjvn’s waist as ynjvn’s come to rest on thyvn’s shoulders. as his fingers bury themselves in thyvn’s hair, he’s pulled closer+

and now their chests are almost touching. ynjvn knows that this is wrong, they shouldn’t do this, but it feels good and for some reason it feels like this is exactly what he needs right now. he just needs to be held right now. he breaks away from thyvn’s lips and moves on to+

kiss along his neck. thyvn seems to be a little more hesitant, tugging lightly on ynjvn’s waist. “hyung, maybe we shouldn’t…” ynjvn’s feels a familiar prickling sensation behind his eyes and he quickly shakes his head, leaning back to look at thyvn. “no, please, it’s okay, i+

need…” thyvn still seems hesitant but whatever he finds in ynjvn’s eyes makes him nod and then they’re kissing again. this time it doesn’t seem like thyvn is planning on holding himself back, meeting ynjvn in an open mouthed kiss right away. his hands slide down from ynjvn’s+

waist down over his ass, squeezing it and causing ynjvn to moan. he presses himself forward, grinding his crotch against thyvn’s. thyvn’s grip around him tightens and he moans. “bedroom.” ynjvn can barely speak with the way thyvn doesn’t seem to want to let him go but he seems+

to understand him and then his hands move underneath ynjvn’s thighs and then ynjvn is lifted up into the air. he yelps in surprise and clings to thyn as he‘s being carried to the bedroom. thyvn lets him down on the bed and then hovers above him. ynjvn spreads his legs, giving+

thyvn more space. thyvn leans down and begins kissing along ynjvn’s jaw and then down his neck. his hands are om the hem of ynjvn’s shirt and he leans up just for a second to pull the shirt off ynjvn’s body. ynjvn is about to ask him to do the same but thyvn has already pulled+

pulled it over his body, discarding it somewhere beside the bed. then his lips are back on ynjvn’s body, licking and biting at the sensitive skin. ynjvn has a hand in thyvn’s hair as he arches his body into the touches. thyvn’s hands move down ynjvn’s stomach until he reaches+

the waistband of his sweatpants, fingers sliding underneath it. ynjvn shudders at the touch and moans. “take them off.” it should be embarrassing, how turned on he already sounds. but he has a reason, he supposes. thankfully, thyvn listens to him and pulls off ynjvn’s pants+

together with his underwear. he seems to hesitate a little but then takes off his own pants as well and then they’re both naked. ynjvn suddenly feels weird. the last person to see him like this was sbn. but he doesn’t have time to think about that for too long because thyvn has+

wrapped a hand around ynjvn’s cock and starts stroking it. ynjvn whines as his hips buck up and then he can feel thyvn’s tongue on him, licking along his entire length. “thyvn…” thyvn doesn’t seem to want to tease ynjvn all too much and he wraps his lips around ynjvn’s cock,+

quickly bobbing his head at a steady pace. ynjvn throws his head back and moans loudly. thyvn’s arm is placed across his stomach so he can’t move his hips but he doesn’t need to because thyvn is taking him in so deep that his cock is hitting the back of thyvn’s throat. “ah, fuck”

thyvn moves off ynjvn’s cock with a pop and resumes lazily stroking him. “do you have lube?” ynjvn nods and stretches himself so he can reach the nightstand and pulls out a bottle of lube. he hasn’t touched it in forever, but he pushes the thought away and hands thyvn the bottle.

ynjvn tries to relax as thyvn works him open but it’s hard. he’s tense and for some reason he’s very nervous about this. and thyvn is doing a great job, he’s gentle and slow but ynjvn somehow wishes he wasn’t. “thyvn, please …” thyvn pauses for a second and then reaches for the+

lube again, pulling his fingers out only to coat them again. he works his fingers inside ynjvn again and this time, he’s more demanding. his fingers seem to go deeper than before and when he curves them upwards, he presses them against ynjvn’s prostate and it seems once he’s+

found it, he doesn’t want to stop. ynjvn soon can’t think straight anymore, toes curling and legs trembling. “‘m close” for thyvn this seems to be the cue to pull out his fingers, ignoring ynjvn’s protests. he places a hand on ynjvn’s thigh and uses the other to position himself

before he slowly pushes into ynjvn. ynjvn moans at the pressure. it stings a little but he welcomes the pain, embraces it almost. as soon as he feels thyvn fully sheathed inside him, ynjvn begins moving his hips, not wanting the other to wait. thyvn holds him still, looking down+

at him with furrowed brows. “hyung…” but ynjvn doesn’t let him. he wraps his legs around thyvn’s waist and pulls him in. “i’m fine, just … do something.”

their skin slapping together echoes against the walls and it’s so obscene, so dirty but so good. ynjvn is trembling, moans spilling freely from his lips. he’s moving his hips as best he can, attempting to meet thyvn’s, trying to match his pace. thyvn moves a hand to ynjvn’s+

waist for support as he angles his hips to hit ynjvn’s prostate dead on with every thrust. he must be able to tell that ynjvn is close because he’s then moving his hand from ynjvn’s waist to his cock and strokes him. it’s almost too much for ynjvn, who sobs at the touch,+

whimpering. “thyvn, i-“ ynjvn isn’t capable of forming a coherent sentence anymore but thyvn understands. his movements don’t stop even once as he leans down, pressing a kiss to ynjvn’s jaw. “i know. let go, baby. i got you.” choking out a sob, ynjvn tenses up as he finally+

cums, spilling over thyvn’s hand and his stomach. he’s vaguely aware that he’s crying but he’s still too much lost in the pleasure of his orgasm to care. when thyvn doesn’t let up, ynjvn whines, the constant stimulation almost bordering on being uncomfortable. but thankfully,+

thyvn seems close as well because his pace becomes erratic, like he’s chasing his own orgasm. a few more thrusts and then he’s cumming, spilling inside ynjvn with a quiet groan. he leans his head down to rest against ynjvn’s chest and as if on instinct, ynjvn wraps his arms+

around him. - when they’re cleaned up and settled in bed, thyvn pressed up behind ynjvn, who is wrapped in his arms, the severity of what they did hits ynjvn with full force. he’s a horrible person, isn’t he? a tear runs down his cheek. he didn’t think about sbn even once.