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I think non-autistic people don't necessarily realize why I'm *so productive* on certain days - And the main reason is because I know I'm going to have a day coming up where I'm not going to be able to do anything and I'm trying to prepare myself and my body for that. 1/3

I do a lot of really unfun tasks when I have the energy because I know that it's the last thing I'll think to do when I wake up and I'm uncoordinated, out of it, processing a long dream, or have a really bad auditory hangover. 2/3
Some days will be the do-all-the-unfun-task days (mailing stuff, chores, calling people) & other days will be "guess I have to find a somewhat not horrible show to watch 8 hours straight while attempting to get up to get smoothie, water, or mac and cheese every 4 hours" 3/3
And even within the unfun task days I still have to choose things: Like I probably won't clean my hair today because I directed my energy to doing chores and calling people over taking a shower, so I just have to be okay with having greasy hair tomorrow.
I think NTs assume that if they see a "super productive" autistic person one day that we're always super productive and it's always possible for us to be super productive. That's just not really how autistic productivity works though & it's hard to explain if you haven't felt it
It's like abled NT people can't understand that energy to initialize and/or follow-through with a task isn't stored in us. Like either I have the energy or I don't. Either I have autistic inertia or I don't. I don't get to plan out when it's going to happen, so I try to prepare.
The other side of this is non-autistic people telling me "you don't need to worry about that right now, it's fine" when the only reason it is "fine" to them is because they know they're going to have another day with that energy in the future to complete the task. I don't.
For me, the only way I can "relax" on days I have energy is if I'm caught up with everything I have to do for the entire next 4 weeks. I always felt weird turning in assignments early too but it was better than waiting because I already had the energy to do it..
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AutisticSciencePerson, MSc
Autistic consultant and writer with a Masters in Neuroscience. @AutSciPerson@mstdn.social white, nonbinary. they/them Opinions are my own. #SayNoToABA
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