a/b/o is a thing but it's frowned upon/seen as strange to give into instincts at all. like the social 'norm' is to ignore any a/b/o -related traits you have.
but omega jk (still bts' maknae) rly, rly wants to be bred by alpha nj. in the 'old-fashioned' way.
it's taboo, even in private. everyone's on meds to stop heats/ruts, alpha knotting is seen as barbaric, etc.
but jk wants to go off his meds and have a heat, have nj take him roughly, knot him, even talk about knocking him up. (he can't get pregnant, but the /thought/ of it…)
it's jk's guiltiest fantasy. there isn't even porn to watch of it, not any he can find anyway, but sometimes jk goes looking for alpha/omega stories. reads about feral alphas and dripping omegas and heats and breeding and gets off so hard, imagining himself in the omega's place.
imagining their leader, kind and dorky, in the place of the feral alpha.
jk's belly always twists with shame after fantasizing about it. he can only imagine how… maybe not disgusted, but how /concerned/ nj would be if jk brought it up. ('do you need to talk to someone, jk-ah?')
maybe he should seek out a therapist about it, but he knows he'd be too ashamed to bring it up to them too.
jk can't help it. he looks at nj, sometimes catches a hint of his darker, natural scent when nj has been sweating, when the medicine can't mask it, and jk /aches/ for it.
he slips up, one night, when he's sleepy, leaning against nj on the couch.
it's nothing unusual - they all nap with each other on set and in green rooms all the time - but jk's sleepy brain doesn't stop him like it should, when he noses at the side of nj's neck, sniffing.
trying to catch hints of nj's natural scent, getting greedy in his sudden eagerness for it until nj is laughing quietly, "jk-ah, are you— are you trying to scent me or something?"
jk jerks back, eyes widening, surprised and guilty. "n- no."
"then what were you doing?" nj asks.
nj doesn't sound angry. but jk's eyes fill with tears anyway. "i- i wasn't. i'm sorry."
nj's eyebrows furrow. "jk-ah. what is it?"
"i'm sorry," jk gasps, shame and embarrassment flooding him, words from a trainee years ago echoing in his head, 'scenting is for dogs, gross.'
back then, unpresented, jk had just been sensitive to smells. now, he can't deny what he was doing, seeking out nj's scent. aching for it.
"shh, jk-ah, look at me. can you do that? c'mon, baby, listen to hyung."
jk does, letting nj take his hands. he doesn't look disgusted.
he just looks worried. "what's going on?"
"i'm sorry," jk whispers.
"for- for what, sniffing my neck? you've been sensitive to scents since forever, that's not a problem…?"
jk's lower lip trembles. "hyung, i was doing it as— doing it for—"
"shh, deep breaths. you're okay."
"as an omega," jk finishes. "i wanted to."
nj nods, face still tense with concern. "jk-ah. i'm not sure i understand what the problem is."
i want you, jk shouts in his head, the way an omega wants an alpha.
out loud, he says, "people don't scent each other."
"i mean, yeah, i guess. but it's not bad…? it's just, uh. i'm not sure what there is to scent."
"it's really faint," jk blurts out, "but- but i can smell it. you."
"ah." nj rubs at the back of his neck, almost like he's self-conscious now. "okay."
jk's breath hitches. "okay?"
"yes? it's no different from anything else. i mean, like, people usually don't suck up fruit flies with a vacuum cleaner at 4 a.m., but—"
"hyung," jk groans, at once feeling relief and exasperation, a distinct warmth for nj. "that's not the same at ALL—"
"c'mere," nj says.
he gets his arm around jk's waist, dragging him back in close, tilting his head to the side. jk's breath catches again.
"try it again. scent me."
"hyung," jk whispers. "we can't."
"mm, then you better hurry up before someone catches us—"
jk tucks his nose against nj's neck.
his scent is stronger, somehow. jk knows why /he/ would be sweating - nervousness, fear at being caught doing something taboo - but nj's scent is darker too. crisper.
jk breathes slowly and curls his fingers into nj's shirt when it seems like he can even taste it.
"yeah?" nj asks. his voice is rough. quiet.
"you smell really good."
nj lets out a slow breath. "jk-ah, you. you mean it, don't you? not just my soap, but—"
"you," jk confirms.
"huh." the corner of nj's mouth tugs up with a smile. "cool."
jk draws back, surprised. "cool?"
"yeah? i've read stories about people more, ah, in touch with their instincts. they're fascinating."
"hyung," jk hisses. "that's not…"
"what? allowed?" nj laughs. "it's our roots. it's science."
jk frowns. he wouldn't call what he jerks off to 'science'…
"baby," nj murmurs.
jk blinks, heat creeping into his face at the pet name. "hn?"
"whatever it is, whatever you're feeling or thinking about, it's okay. don't beat yourself up over it, yeah? promise hyung."
jk bites at his lip. nj's gaze drops, and his throat bobs with a swallow.
"okay," jk says,
even with nj's scent still in his nose, even with all his fantasies still there when he closes his eyes, the forbidden things he imagines, the words he wants nj to say that real-nj would be horrified to learn about.
jk won't ever act on them, though. so it's fine.
two days later, jk gets a message from nj. a link.
he clicks it, assuming it's a song recommendation - it usually is - only to be taken to some kind of forum.
it takes jk a minute to realize why nj would send him this, when he sees that it's omegas sharing scenting stories.
heat flushes through jk, even in the privacy of his bedroom, tucked under the covers.
nj was looking this up before bed??
15 minutes later, there's another message.
nj: did you read it?
nj: they think scent sensitivity is tied to when you'd be having your heat, if you could
nj: isn't that cool?
jk's heart is pounding.
the omegas share experiences of scenting their partners, discuss whether the scenting is related to finding someone suitable for a heat they can't experience, and nj, knowing jk was specifically scenting /him/…
just calls it cool?!
jk: hyung i can't believe you looked it up
nj: agree with me it's cool
nj: come on
jk: isn't that a bit too…
jk: you're saying that's when i would've been in heat, that night?
even typing the words, jk feels a nervous flutter in his belly.
nj: yeah maybe
nj: i wonder if like
nj: i could scent you too for the day i would've been having my rut
nj: i do feel like there's a couple days out of the month i'm really hungry
nj: maybe that's when…
jk can't help it. he laughs.
jk: what do you think a rut is??
nj: eating more = having more energy for… yeah
nj: keep up, baby
jk's stomach flips. he groans quietly, and can't think of how to answer before nj is sending,
nj: sorry hah
jk: no you're fine
jk: it really didn't freak you out? the scenting
nj: why would it?
nj: i think you should def do things just bc they feel right
nj: it's not like you're actually going into heat lol
jk squeezes his thighs together, remembering a story he read last night, an omega lost in the woods, fevered & desperate, found by a rutting alpha…
god, maybe he /was/ experiencing phantom symptoms of a heat he can't have.
nj: i'll stop bugging you about it if it's making you uncomfortable
jk: no, it's fine
jk: please don't tell anyone else? like the staff
nj: of course i won't
nj: it's your business, i'll keep your secret
jk lets out a sigh of relief.
jk: thank you
nj: and if you ever need anyone to talk to about this stuff
nj: i'm here, okay?
nj: i know it's like… they teach us to ignore it, yeah
nj: but it doesn't seem that bad
nj: thinking about it sometimes
nj: it's not hurting anyone, just having instincts
jk: sorry im here
jk's chest is a flurry of confused emotions - relief, hope, worry, shame - but most of all he feels so grateful they have such an open-minded leader. 'a pack alpha,' jk thinks, even though that term is outdated, never used, not even jokingly in interviews.
jk: you mean it?
jk: it doesn't freak you out if i like
jk: ask a question or something?
nj: it's cool
jk: stop saying cool lol
nj: it's neat
jk snickers out loud to himself, sinking lower in his bed. sighing.
jk: thank you
nj: anytime baby
the guilt inside him burns a little sweeter, that night, when jk opens up a story about two coworkers, an alpha taking care of his omega hoobae in heat, and he jerks off with fast, tight strokes, trying not to picture nj, to hear his voice, oh—
jk bites his pillow when he comes.
nj rubs his back that morning when jk wanders into the kitchen for a glass of milk. it's a simple touch, soothing, but with nj, touches like that are usually fleeting. like he works up the courage to do it and then gets shy anyway.
now, he doesn't drop his hand right away.
jk melts into how nice it feels, nj's wide palm over his back through his thin t-shirt, the way he slides his hand up to the back of jk's neck to squeeze.
and then jk's breath catches, remembering the story he read last night, the way the alpha held the omega down like this, hn—
"hyung," jk breathes out, face heating, a sharp tug in the pit of his belly.
nj drops his hand. "sorry, does your neck hurt?"
"no," jk whispers. "it- it felt good, it was just—" turning him on. "ticklish."
"ah, sorry baby," nj murmurs, voice gravelly.
jk bites back a whimper.
he starts to wonder if this is just a phase and he'll get tired of the thoughts eventually, the yearning for things that are so taboo, this strange ache to behave the way society tells him not to.
but he doesn't.
if anything, having nj's support now makes him want it more.
he wants to experience scent and submission and slicking up for the first time since he presented. he was confused, back then, and overwhelmed, immediately put on suppressants so that the memory is a blur.
would it really be that bad, if he stopped taking his suppressants?
they're between comebacks… he could pass it off as forgetfulness. maybe no one would even realize, since it's not like it would send him right into a heat.
but god, thinking about spending a heat with nj…
jk starts to come up with his own alpha/omega fantasies in his head.
'two idols trapped in elevator when the younger one goes into heat, begging.' 'leader walks in on maknae desperately working his fingers inside himself and offers to help.' 'maknae omega helps his alpha hyung when he gets a knot for the first time since presenting.'
it's embarrassing, how much the fantasies get to him. the thought of being so wet for nj, being bent over and fucked and filled, or maybe on his back, nj's teeth on his throat, knot forcing its way into jk's hole—
"you're lost in your head so often these days, jk-ah," tae says.
jk startles after tae waves his hand in front of jk's face. "sorry," jk mumbles, then blurts out, "is it bad to have sexual fantasies about someone you know?"
tae very slowly sets his phone down. "bro."
jk blinks. "what? wait—ahhh, hyung, i'm not talking about you."
"stop it," jk snickers, pushing at tae's arm. they're sitting on his bed, being lazy after an early meeting & vocal lessons at the company. "is it, though?"
"they're just fantasies," tae answers, shrugging. "why would that be bad? if it's another idol, too, well. we're all hot."
jk swallows. he stares down at his knees, poking at a fading bruise. "i just feel guilty."
"i think sometimes it's not really something we can help," tae says, ruffling jk's hair. "people are attractive and, like, it's just your thoughts, you know? they don't change the kind of
person you are, or how you treat others. they're just fantasies."
jk exhales shakily. they don't feel like 'just fantasies' to him, but there's no point trying to explain that to tae. "thank you."
"jk-ah, can i ask…" tae says slowly. "is it about nj-hyung?"
jk groans loudly.
"how could you tell!"
tae laughs, hugging jk around the waist, pulling him down onto the bed. tae's an omega too, and times like this - cuddling, just enjoying the comfort of tae's unmade bed - also have jk wondering what it'd be like, if instincts were allowed. nesting, heats.
"the way you stare at him, ah, really. like you're trying to figure out how to eat him without him finding out."
"i don't want to eat him," jk mutters, even if his belly gives a warm flip.
"well what do you fantasize about? hyung is single too. he might even be interested."
jk shivers at that thought. it's not the first time one of the others has gently nudged him to pursue his crush. (jm-hyung, when they've been gossiping, and even sj-hyung, when they've been drinking, or hs-hyung, when he's found jk moping… god. his crush must be /so/ obvious.)
"i'll think about it," jk mumbles, and tae hums, resting his chin on jk's shoulder.
"just don't assume it's so one-sided, jk-ah. just between you and me… hyung's been teased for looking like he wants to eat you too."
jk's belly clenches. "r- really?"
"mm. pay more attention."
so jk does. or at least he tries.
he gets flustered more easily around nj these days. nothing that would affect any dance practice or filming they do, but his pulse picks up when nj's arm is around his waist, a flush spreading through him when nj praises him. smiles at him.
normal crush things, if not for the way jk imagines, alone in bed at night, being held down and fucked with the fat swell of nj's knot, pumped full while nj promises to give him pups.
the fantasies make jk come so hard he sees stars. so the blushing around nj is maybe expected.
but he does notice nj looking sometimes.
when jk yanks off his shirt as soon as they step into the dorm, stretching out his arms or lifting a hand to rub at his neck, and suddenly jm is giggling because nj walked straight into him, "hyung, are you alright there?"
or when nj looks at him softly while jk is napping on a couch or has made himself (not a nest, not a nest—) a cozy space out of a blanket and pillows.
when nj's gaze is unguarded, dark, before something has him smiling brightly again… it feels like a physical tug, the yearning.
this deep instinct to bare his neck or make himself smaller under nj's stare, even though it doesn't make any sense.
nj doesn't act dominant around them. he has no reason to, but it's also just not really in his personality.
so why does jk ache to submit to him so badly?
jk tries going one night without reading any of the stories on the site he's become addicted to now, and it's just his luck that he ends up having a sex dream instead.
it's hazy, muddled in that way dreams can be, but jk knows he's in heat. the desperation feels achingly real,
the cool mirror of the practice room behind him as nj in the dream undresses him, fingers touching where jk is leaking wet, pleasure spreading warm through his belly.
the want feels so real. jk moans and it's a blur, nj pressing inside, but he can /feel/ it, the wide stretch.
nj murmurs soft things, fleeting praises that aren't as loud in jk's dream as the pleasure, but he clings to nj's shoulders and gets fucked, wet and open, ready for the knot when nj works that inside too.
jk comes with a ragged moan, sweating and desperate, and wakes himself up.
there's a mess in his underwear, a dull throb in his groin from his fading orgasm. jk scrubs his hand over his face, flushing with embarrassment, and drags himself out of bed to clean up.
that's the first time jk notices he's slicked up. just- just a tiny bit, but unmistakable.
jk almost can't believe it. clear slick on his fingers, just that slightly slippery feeling between his cheeks.
but how… he's still taking his suppressants. and he's definitely not in heat right now.
jk's heart is still beating too fast when he settles back into bed,
closing his eyes only to see fading images from his dream, his cock jerking in his clean underwear at the thoughts.
he doesn't remember any other dreams he has that night.
"jk-ah," nj says the next day, jogging over to jk after he comes home from the gym. jk's eyebrows lift.
"do you mind i try something? i'll, ah." nj pauses for a moment, swallowing, and jk can't figure out where nj's gaze is fixed until he feels the bead of sweat trailing down his own neck.
jk wipes at it with the back of his hand, self-conscious. nj blinks, then smiles.
"i'll let you eat first, you just got home."
"it's just a snack, i have to shower," jk mumbles. "hyung. what is it?"
"can- can you." nj pauses again. what's distracting him so badly? "can you stop by my room before you shower? it's just a quick thing!"
jk nods, pulse thudding.
he doesn't let himself overthink what nj could want - and why jk can't shower first - but instead just quickly eats and gulps down more water, making sure to at least splash water on his face before going to see nj.
nj is sitting on the floor next to his bed. "jk-ah! come here."
jk goes, not bothering to ask why nj is on the floor (there's a notebook open next to him - maybe that's just where he was writing lyrics?) but grateful that he's not sitting on nj's bed in sweaty clothes too.
"what's up?" jk asks.
"okay. so i wanted to do a little experiment."
jk's belly gives a nervous flip. "uh huh."
"i think it might— i think i might be in rut," nj says.
jk's eyes widen. he sucks in a sharp breath. "hyung—"
"but, you know, suppressed. i did some more research on it and then you got home and it, ah, kind of confirmed it for me."
"me?" jk blinks, confused even as his belly twists up with something like excitement.
nj reaches out to slide a hand around the back of jk's neck, the other on jk's waist, guiding him closer. jk goes obediently, even as his heart pounds wildly.
"can i try scenting you, baby?"
"hyung, you shouldn't—" jk's breath hitches. he isn't sure what to do with his hands, eyelids fluttering when nj helps jk settle over his lap, straddling nj now.
it's a ridiculously intimate position. but something about the dark way nj stares at him… jk doesn't think he cares.
"we shouldn't," jk whispers. nj's door is mostly closed, but it's not locked. if the others saw—
"it's just smelling you?" nj murmurs. his voice is so deep. "but i won't if it makes you uncomfortable."
"y- you're not just doing it for my sake, right? hyung. you don't have to."
"jk-ah," nj says quietly, seriously, and jk meets his eyes even though the heat there makes something hot ripple down his spine. "i can smell you."
jk doesn't make a joke about how he hasn't showered. he blinks heavily, teeth nibbling at his bottom lip until nj pulls him closer.
it hits jk very suddenly, the realization of how turned on he is, how confused and hot and yearning his body is, when nj's breath is warm over the side of jk's neck. his head tips to expose more for the alpha, something too close to pleasure curling warm inside jk when he does.
nj huffs this low laugh, nose touching jk's skin, and jk shudders.
"your scent is—" a sharp inhale, the squeeze of nj's hand at his waist. jk's heart pounds. "your scent, ah."
"y- you shouldn't be able to smell it," jk insists.
"you smell like sex," nj growls, and jk gasps.
it's almost— ticklish, when nj's nose drags so suddenly, so firm over jk's neck, breaths huffing and the heat climbing inside jk's belly, growing brighter, bigger.
"what does sex smell like?" jk asks. nj huffs another quiet laugh.
"can't really explain it. dark. sweat and skin,
but a little sharp, too, just wanna—" nj cuts off, tucking his nose in firmly again, at some spot just below jk's ear, and jk's hips rock unthinkingly.
he doesn't want to look down to see how hard he is in his sweatpants. he squeezes his eyes shut, lips parting with a soft gasp.
"hyung, a- ah."
"you're okay," nj tells him, voice still rumbling deep, hands still big and warm and keeping jk close. trapped. "swear i can taste you like this."
jk swallows the drool pooling in his mouth. he thinks back to tae's words,
'looking like he wants to eat you too.'
his stomach clenches up at the thought of nj's teeth, the thought of wearing nj's bite on his neck…
a soft moan falls from jk's lips, and he swears he gets a hint of nj's natural scent too, suddenly dark and heady, addicting even in its faintness.
"i don't know—" nj starts,
pulling away from jk's neck but never letting go of him. jk wonders if nj is just as warm as he is.
"i don't know how anyone could live like this. smelling you all the time. jk-ah," nj breathes, his gaze so heavy jk feels it like sinking heat in the pit of his stomach. "omega."
jk shudders. he didn't realize—
he didn't realize, after all the stories he's been reading, all the fantasies that have been running through his head, that nj actually addressing him by that title would sound so good. jk's eyes immediately fill with tears.
nj's eyebrows furrow,
worry cutting through the plain desire on his face. "baby?"
"you shouldn't call me that," jk chokes out, something like relief flooding him when nj's hand grips the back of jk's neck, when he guides jk's face to bury at the side of nj's neck. "hyung, 's bad, we shouldn't—"
"it's just us," nj breathes out, and for the first time, jk can hear the shakiness in nj's voice. "this is just for us. it's okay. jk-ah, do you like it?"
jk nods, blinking away tears. he isn't even sure what 'it' nj is referring to.
"then it's okay. shhh. alpha's got you."
"alpha," jk echoes, a word he's only been brave enough to moan into his pillow lately. nj's fingers squeeze at his nape when jk says it, and he swallows down more saliva, feels hungry and needy and /safe/.
this is just for them. it's okay, jk tells himself, to want this with nj.
he pants into the curve of nj's neck and feels new sweat gather behind his knees, nj's touches so reassuring, his body so broad and safe.
"i want—" jk's voice hiccups, his vision blurs and his eyelashes stick with his tears. "wah- want to scent you, can i?"
"yes," nj breathes.
nj's scent is still too faint, no matter how close jk presses his nose to that slightly raised spot. he isn't thinking clearly when his lips part, when jk's tongue laps wet there, curious.
nj's groan is so loud in jk's ear. "jk-ah."
"it's—" jk's breath hitches. "it's /there/,
i can almost smell it, but 's not enough—"
"you're not in heat, baby," nj tells him, rubbing his hand down jk's spine when he says it, and jk shudders hard.
the way nj says that— like a heat is something jk can really have, not just a guilty fantasy—
"'s not fair," jk whines.
"jk-ah," nj says warmly. "omega." he tips their foreheads together, his eyes closed, and jk feels something inside him settle. "i'm sorry. hyung didn't mean to mess with you like this."
"you didn't," jk rushes to say. "i- i like that you scented me—"
"i was selfish," nj laughs.
"i've, ah. been doing research on my own. i think i got obsessed with the idea of trying it, i didn't realize… maybe there's a reason people don't do this, right?"
it feels like something inside jk shatters. "h- hyung."
"no," nj says, "no, baby, not like that. shit, let me try
again, ignore what i said, okay? i didn't realize how intense it could be, how much your senses and emotions would be affected too. i'm selfish."
"you're not," jk mumbles.
"i am. a- a good alpha thinks about protecting others before anything else."
"hyung," jk says, pouting,
"you are a good alpha. you- you're the best. for the group, but also—" jk cuts off.
"but also what?"
jk can't say it. he was going to finish his sentence with 'for me.'
"did you like it?" jk asks instead, voice soft. "my scent?"
"fuck." nj meets jk's gaze, eyes piercing.
"you already know the answer to that, ah…"
"do i?" jk asks. maybe more bratty than flirty, but it's worth the way nj arches his eyebrow. the shiver that sends down jk's spine.
"yeah, baby," nj murmurs. "i liked it. can still smell you even like this." he leans forward,
nose pressing at the side of jk's neck again, dragging there, and jk's breath hitches with a soft gasp, eyes slamming shut when nj's mouth suddenly opens over the spot where jk's scent gland would be.
"hyung," jk gasps, grabbing for nj's shoulders. "a- alpha."
nj rumbles a deep hum through his wet kisses to jk's neck, and jk swears he can feel the vibrations of it. "i'm alpha now, huh?"
"please," jk says, embarrassment rushing, because this is— nj is his /hyung/, their leader, and jk is about to rub himself off on nj's thigh. "ah—"
"what do you want? jk-ah, omega, i swear i'll give it to you."
the words almost tumble out of jk's mouth. he wants possession, sex, breeding, release. he wants, wants.
but he realizes, from the deep purr in nj's voice, he can't ask for those things now. not with nj like this.
jk's done his own research (yes even outside of porn!) and scent can be— powerful. addicting. and with the way nj talks about jk's scent…
he doesn't want nj to do anything he'll regret. not when it comes to this, even with how badly jk aches for it.
nj's lips brush his throat,
a new heat squeezing deep in the pit of jk's belly, his limbs suddenly weak with the want to submit, and he blurts out, "th- this is enough," his voice sweet and breathy, even feeding nj this lie.
nj squeezes tight around his waist.
"it- it was a good experiment, right, hyung?"
the words must be like a bucket of cold water for nj. he pulls back, eyes burning dark, breathing heavy.
jk exhales shakily.
"are you okay?" nj asks quietly, eyes scanning jk. jk can only imagine what he sees - bitten lips, teary eyes, flushed cheeks.
he must look…
he must look wrecked, the way one does after sex. his blush burns hotter thinking about it.
"i'm okay," jk answers, going to pull back and letting out a soft 'unh' when nj doesn't let go of his waist. if anything, he holds jk tighter.
"it wasn't just an experiment, for me."
jk blinks. "hyung—"
"i liked it. it- it felt good, you smelled good, it was you. jk-ah. i swear i'm not just playing around with you."
there's an ache in jk's chest, his nose scrunching like his eyes are close to stinging with tears again. "hyung. why are you okay with this?"
"because it's not bad," nj whispers, eyes curving slightly with the shadow of a smile. "isn't it nice to think about sometimes? just— the thought of going into the woods, forgetting how we're supposed to act, being able to /smell/ each other, feel everything our bodies can do…"
"why does it have to be the woods?" jk asks in a low mumble, teasing, and nj laughs.
"for the aesthetic. the vibes. i don't know. does it scare you?"
if you only knew, jk thinks immediately. if nj only knew how often he thinks about the roughest things, the darkest instincts…
"no," jk answers. "but- but we can't do that. it's just a fantasy."
"sorry," nj says, "it must seem like i'm, i don't know, leading you on. i promise that isn't it. but the way it feels, the instincts, you get that too, right? that urge to give in."
jk bites his lip. he nods.
"so if you ever need this, ah, whatever this is, just come to me, jk-ah. don't be afraid to ask."
"scenting. touches. praise. you—" nj pauses, and something hot in his gaze makes jk's breath catch. "you like baring your throat to me, don't you?"
"no, no, i don't mind. it feels different, doesn't it." nj laughs again. "it shouldn't, right? not for us. but it really does feel different."
jk needs to slip away before he starts begging. can sense how much the words want to spill from his tongue. "i- i should…"
"shower, yeah, i know. sorry for keeping you. guess i'm just a greedy alpha in rut after all, huh?" nj jokes, but jk doesn't feel anything but bursting heat at those words, at the idea of it.
a greedy alpha in rut. selfish, taking, using…
"baby," nj breathes out, rumbling.
his eyes are too dark now, too knowing. jk awkwardly pulls away and nj lets him this time, holding jk's gaze, kindly not looking at the obvious bulge in jk's sweatpants.
he's going to come so hard as soon as he steps in the shower. fuck.
"if you need anything," nj says gently,
standing up from the floor too with a little groan and reaching out for jk's shoulder, rubbing there, "don't be afraid to ask for it. even if it's, i don't know, a hug." nj laughs shortly, a little helplessly. "ah, i don't fully understand this scenting stuff, but it's intense."
"i'll let you know," jk says. "promise. thank you."
"yeah, shit, of course." nj drops his hand from jk's shoulder, messily running fingers through his hair. "just want you to feel safe, baby, about all of this. okay?"
jk's belly clenches warmly. he nods, and returns nj's smile.
nj messages him later that night, when jk is in bed but actually trying to work on song lyrics for once.
the words aren't coming, so jk doesn't mind a distraction.
nj: how are you feeling?
a goofy smile tugs at jk's lips at nj's concern.
jk: like genuinely
jk: what about you?
nj: oh good i'm glad
nj: i'm kind of overheated lol but i'm good too
nj: can i say something tmi?
nj: you can definitely say no
jk's stomach flips, his face flushing warm immediately.
maybe it won't be sexual. but jk has a feeling…
jk: sure !
jk waits as nj types. he desperately tries to forget earlier that day, stepping into a warm shower and coming seconds after getting his hand around his throbbing dick, to the memory of nj's mouth on his neck, the press of nj's fingers into his waist, at his nape.
his orgasm had crashed into him like it had been building for hours, made his knees so weak he slid down into the tub and laughed breathlessly at how good the release felt.
he got hard again wondering if nj jerked off after he left nj's room.
it's certainly been a Day for jk.
nj: i know it's different for omegas (obviously lol)
nj: but knowing i would be in rut right now, if i could
nj: i can't stop thinking what a knot would feel like
jk's eyes widen. he drops his phone on his chest, groaning.
kim namjoon, are you serious…
nj: i can't help it
nj: is it just like… having more dick??
jk snickers, even with his blush still making him feel too warm. he tries to think of how to answer, too, without relying on descriptions of knots he's read in all his alpha/omega stories.
jk: it's probably sensitive
nj: it must get a lot of blood flow, because of how it swells
jk's nose wrinkles. he starts to wonder how much research nj has done into this.
jk: i don't know if it's true
jk: but ah
jk: i read that alphas can come more
nj doesn't reply long enough that jk starts to
feel the prickle of embarrassment, regret for talking about it, he probably weirded nj out—
nj: i read that too
nj: seems messy
jk's breath stutters.
nj: but in a hot way? lol
nj: i don't know if it's normal to want to try it, like at least once
nj: just for the experience
nj: but i do
jk: yeah me too
as soon as the message sends, real embarrassment floods jk, stomach sinking with the uncomfortable heat, oh fuck, he did /not/ just say that—
jk could fix this, maybe. he could explain he meant experiencing slick, as an omega.
but that's not what he meant. it's a huge risk, probably, but jk draws in a deep breath, fingers shaking, and sends,
jk: can't help being curious about it
jk: my instincts want it, hyung
it takes nj a while to respond again.
jk groans again. he sends crying emojis.
nj: ahaha sorry
nj: it's not possible anyway
nj: there's nothing bad about wanting it, though, baby
jk turns his hot face into his pillow, biting into his lip. hearing nj's words in his head, that deep and warm 'baby.'
nj: you're really feeling okay after earlier today?
nj: i should've checked on you after
jk huffs out a quiet laugh. thinks, if nj had checked on him, he would've found jk getting off twice in the same 20-minute shower.
jk: i really am
jk: hyung's okay too…?
jk: you're the one in rut
nj: mm yeah i'm good
jk's belly squeezes.
nj: sorry for bothering you again
nj: get some sleep baby
jk: you too
jk throws his arm over his hot face after the message sends, sighing. wondering if it's possible to ever stop aching so deeply for nj the way he does, yearning for more.
thinking about his knot, ah, really…
"this mean hyung," jk mumbles to himself, lips pouted as he slides his hand down his bare stomach, past the waistband of his underwear, curling around the heated length of his cock. already hard, the tip wet, already needy under his touch.
he sighs, and closes his eyes,
and as he strokes himself he thinks about nj in his room right now, maybe with his hand around himself too. some kind of pent-up sexual need running through the alpha's veins, feeling the rut he can't have. thinking about his knot…
jk spills over his knuckles with a whimper.
link to top until the next update
cw // mention of dubcon fantasies (only in fantasies - any smut will be consensual), breeding kink, and this is inspired by the 2020 timeline but not the exact same, so pls don't try to match up the 'winter package' events to rl, ty
ruts supposedly last a couple of days, the same as heats, but nj doesn't behave any differently after the scenting incident.
jk isn't sure why he was expecting nj to. he's not /actually/ in rut, after all.
jk still gets that flutter in his belly, every time he's close to nj.
remembering the way nj's lips felt pressing damp kisses to his neck, the way it felt to be held so tightly. it's embarrassing, to press his own fingers into his hips as he jerks off and pretend it's nj's touch instead, but god, it doesn't stop jk from pretending.
the ache grows.
they don't talk about it for weeks. maybe nj's smiles directed at jk feel a little shyer, but things between them stay the same. jk still finds himself opening up alpha/omega stories when he wants to get off, giving into the clenching heat, ignoring the guilt.
if anyone knew…
if anyone found out the thing that got jk off the hardest was rough, desperate, wild sex between alphas and omegas who can't help themselves, knots and biting and breeding—
jk groans, face hot, dropping his phone even though his mind still plays out the words from the stories.
this time it was a story about a captive omega prince in heat and a rough alpha captor crooning sweet words, promising to fill the prince with his seed, to fuck him full of pups, hips pounding and knot sinking in and the prince crying out in relief—
jk comes with a low whine.
it's almost funny, in the lazy aftermath of his orgasm, imagining how horrified nj would probably be if he knew what jk was picturing. yearning for.
"virgin prince taken advantage of by his rough captor," jk mutters to himself, "ah really, isn't this too much, jk-ssi, huh?"
he squeezes around his softening cock and shudders, thinking about how easy it would be to give in if it was nj he was exposed for, arms held above his head, throat bared, nj's scent surrounding him. how good it would feel to finally be able to beg nj to breed him…
"tae's right," jm says, ruffling jk's hair when he's stretched out on the couch one evening, "you've been quiet lately. jk-ah, do you have a new hobby or something?"
jk sits up, eyes wide, glancing over to his phone where it's plugged in to charge.
jm doesn't know, right?
there's no way he could know. he hasn't been through jk's phone from what jk can remember…
"just, uh." jk swallows, blinking and trying to act normal to reassure jm. "just working on music."
it's not a total lie.
jm hums. "well don't work too hard. you barely play with us
anymore, are you too busy trying to figure out how to ask nj-hyung out? because we can help—"
"shhh!" jk hisses, covering jm's mouth with his hand. jm's eyes curve with his hidden smile, and jk pulls his hand back.
"he's not even home," jm says, laughter in his sweet voice.
"i'm not trying to ask anyone out."
jm pulls his legs up to his chest, arms hugged around them. "you know, there was something— maybe i shouldn't say, but it was a bit weird."
"what?" jk asks, feeling nervous suddenly.
"hyung has this notebook, right? i thought it was lyrics."
jk's stomach tightens. "hn?"
"but it wasn't… ah, you can't tell him i snooped, okay? maybe it was personal. but he left it sitting out."
"hyung," jk says, pouting, "what was it?"
"it was about you."
jk's belly squeezes.
"'jk's scent, jk's throat, jk's belly,'" jm lists off,
his face oddly serious for something he'd normally be teasing both nj and jk about. "there was a quote, um, something about taking care of omegas. random words scribbled all over, like 'hunger, sweat, restless, mine.'"
"i—" jk doesn't finish. his heart thuds fast in his chest.
"so either nj-hyung was possessed by a weird horny demon," jm says slowly, quietly, "or he's writing a song about you as- as an omega? but that's—"
"secret," jk finishes for him. what they presented as, alpha, beta, or omega, isn't something shared with the public. it's private.
not because there'd be scandal if anyone ever found out, but just— no one cares. the words are meaningless, when everyone is on suppressants.
/would/ nj try to write a song about it? about… him?
"jk-ah," jm says softly, "my point wasn't to make you uncomfortable or anything,
but i just thought… maybe, if you're still too shy to make the first move, maybe nj really does feel the same, yeah? to be writing things like that about you. to be thinking about you, even- even as an omega."
jk swallows. "hyung, you shouldn't—"
"what, point out the obvious?"
jm laughs. "but you /are/ our little omega."
"hyung," jk says. it comes out choked, his chest suddenly tight. "y- you shouldn't say that."
jm's eyebrows furrow. "jk-ah? does it really bother you?"
"don't tease him," yg says, shuffling into the room. jk thought he was napping.
"this wasn't teasing," jm insists. "i just didn't know it bothered you." jm's head tilts, like he's trying to read jk's mind.
"it's not like that," jk mumbles. his face feels warm with yg's attention now too. "the words don't mean anything, hyung."
jm's lips purse for a moment.
"no. i guess not. but it's still a part of you. it's okay to acknowledge it."
"jk-ah," yg says in a low voice, crouching down on the floor in front of him. jk feels a weird twist in his stomach and wonders if it's because he's seeing yg as an alpha right now, not just his hyung.
"have you maybe been thinking about it a lot lately? being an omega. that part of yourself."
jk draws in a shaky breath, hoping he doesn't start to tear up. "i- i, ah."
"it's okay if you have," jm adds. "sometimes hobi-hyung and i talk about being betas, you know,
what it'd be like dealing with all of you off suppressants. it's not wrong to think about it, jk-ah."
"none of us would judge you for thinking about it," yg says warmly, and jk sniffles. he blinks quickly, willing the burn behind his eyes to go away.
"really?" jk asks quietly.
"i mean, i might be judging nj-hyung a little," jm says, voice light and eyes scrunched with a tentative smile. "for writing like he wants to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder."
(jk's toes curl at the thought.)
"but of course not… being curious is normal. healthy."
jk lets himself huff out a laugh. "the last time you said that, it was because i walked in on you and taehyungie-hyung with your hands down each other's pants."
yg makes a face. jm laughs and shouts, "yah! and that was normal and healthy too!!"
"hyung," jk mumbles. "thank you."
"of course," jm says, ruffling jk's hair at the same time yg reaches up to squeeze around his fingers. "just promise to tell me when you find out what nj was writing about you for. i'm curious now."
"don't listen to him," yg mutters, "you're allowed privacy."
"hyung, don't lie,
you're curious too," jm laughs.
yg rolls his eyes. "well yeah, but i'm not gonna pressure him about it."
jk throws his head back with a laugh. he feels— lighter, somehow, after talking with them. obviously they don't know the extent of jk's thoughts, what his fantasies include,
all the secrets that jk's been keeping to himself. they /can't/ know. but it's still reassuring.
more weeks pass of not confessing. maybe some flirting.
jk goes through another not-heat. he goes to the gym to deal with his sudden restlessness and finds nj already stretching.
they greet each other, even if they just saw each other that morning, and jk tries to ignore the hunger that's coiling in his belly until nj says, "hey, do you want, um. d'you want to scent me?"
jk's eyes go wide. he glances around but they're alone. "h- hyung."
"i don't mind."
jk swallows. he's been aching for it ever since he stepped into the gym, yeah, but he wasn't going to ask…
"how did you know?" he mumbles, joining nj by a weight bench.
"mm, the way you were looking, it's kind of…" nj trails off, smirking. "just had a hunch. c'mere, baby."
jk goes. he can't ignore that invitation. he doesn't even mind that he was caught being so obvious.
"slowly, okay?" nj murmurs even as an arm wraps low around jk's waist. "this isn't, uh. as private."
"i know," jk says. "i just, ah. hyung, your scent—"
"go on," nj whispers.
so jk, sensitive and yearning from his not-heat, tucks his nose into the side of nj's neck and breathes in.
"jk-ah?" nj asks, but jk shakes his head. wants to apologize for his reaction but just manages a small, "please."
nj holds him close. jk takes in his scent,
alpha and familiar and dark, enticing and /right/. he rests a hand on nj's broad chest and blinks, is close enough to see the stubble on nj's chin, to smell every detail that makes up his scent.
jk wants him. wants, wants, wants.
"i'm right here," nj murmurs, "you can, jk-ah."
jk swallows, heart pounding. he can't remember if he voiced the part about wanting nj out loud or not.
"s- sorry, ah, can't help it—" he gasps out, and nj just laughs warmly, squeezes jk's waist and says, "i know. i- i like that you can't help it."
fuck. jk wants him so badly.
he breathes in the dark scent until he can taste it in his throat and then pulls back, unsteady, his thoughts gone all hazy.
"okay?" nj asks, face etched with concern, palm wide over the small of jk's back.
jk nods. "y- yeah, sorry."
"mm, no, you're good. it's nice," nj says,
"getting to indulge in that and actually being able to smell something different, right?"
"you smell so good," jk admits in a rush. his face is warm, belly twisting warmer, but nj just looks pleased.
"i tried—" jk cuts off, nose scrunching at the realization that nj
is still just holding him, that they're cuddled up in the company gym.
at least anyone who knows them is used to their skinship and won't question a random gym cuddle. hopefully.
"i tried scenting sj-hyung this morning, ah. it wasn't even on purpose, at first."
"oh," nj says.
something in nj's scent spikes, just a little. not unpleasant, but sharper. stronger.
nj's jaw is clenched. is… is he upset…?
"hyung smells nice, like- like familiar, kind of like this settled feeling in my chest," jk says, speaking quickly when he realizes how tense nj is.
"but his scent didn't affect me the way yours does, hyung," jk finishes, breathless.
nj's fingers tighten over jk's hip. his eyes flash, and that sharpness to his scent melts into something sweeter. jk watches nj's throat bob with a swallow. "ah?"
"something about yours…"
jk tucks his nose back into nj's neck one more time, reminding himself of that scent, the twist inside him with each lungful of it.
"something about the way you smell, it- it makes me ache. i thought maybe it was instincts, that i'd feel that way with sj-hyung too, as an alpha."
"you don't?" nj asks quietly.
jk shakes his head. "it's just you. you're the only one that makes me feel that way."
nj's lips part, his gaze dropping to jk's neck. after a moment he asks, "can i…?" and jk nods without asking what he means.
nj noses at the side of jk's neck.
jk holds still, letting him smell, shivering when nj breathes out with a short laugh, "fuck, it's really not fair how hard it is to smell you when i'm not in rut."
jk whines, a quiet noise in his throat.
"think i might just be addicted to you," nj continues, words mumbled, low.
jk isn't proud of himself, when he blurts out, "just me?" but it's worth hearing nj's low hum, his whispered, "yeah. just you, baby."
it's hard to pull away from nj after that. but jk does, almost laughing when he realizes he's more out of breath than a sprint would leave him.
"i should get back to—"
"yeah," nj agrees, squeezing at jk's shoulder before his hand drops. "me too, sorry. just don't work out too hard, okay?"
"hyung," jk mumbles, "i'm not really in heat."
"i know," nj huffs, glancing away. "i know you aren't. just in general."
he doesn't actually stay in the gym that long, but not because he's worried he'll push himself too hard.
he leaves when nj's scent becomes so alluring, heavy and dark from sweating, that jk is worried that he'll start begging to taste it.
he jerks off later in the shower,
and doesn't pretend he's thinking about some alpha/omega story, some fantasy scenario—
he pictures nj - his hyung, their leader - kissing his neck and holding his waist, whispering in his ear, hard against jk's back. hard for him.
jk gasps when he comes, knees buckling.
"winter package?" jk mumbles, and he must look as confused as he feels, because jm laughs, patting his thigh. they're in a car on the way to the company building.
"did you forget? jk-ah. it's in three days."
he didn't /forget/ exactly… it just sort of slipped his mind,
since they've been busy with a lot of other things, and were staying in korea for filming. "gangwon-do?"
"mm," jm confirms. "found out from manager-hyung that we're staying in little cabins. maybe it'll be like in the soop, but with snow."
jk listens attentively at the meeting.
they /are/ staying in three cabins near a resort, and will play a game to decide who's rooming with whom. they'll also only spend three days filming, and the other four they'll be allowed to stay at the cabins, unless they'd rather head back early.
jk tries not to put too much
thought into it, to not get his hopes up, but—
they film their game for choosing cabin-mates, and he ends up with nj. he prays the cameras don't pick up on some of the looks he gets from the others. prays that his makeup hides his sudden blush.
a cabin in the woods with nj.
and not just that, but— time for themselves, if they want it.
jk can't /not/ think about it. it takes 24 hours for the suppressants' effects to wear off after you stop taking them. (which jk knows after shamefully searching it up.)
he could really— they could, if nj wanted to—
but how could he even bring something like that up? nj has talked about being curious, but never /actually/ going off suppressants to see what it's like. it's risky. nj has so much responsibility already.
but it doesn't stop jk from thinking about it.
hoseok is the one to ask,
when jk is curled up in his bed the night before they leave, "you'll really be okay, rooming with him?"
jk huffs out a laugh. "i'm an adult. and it's just nj-hyung."
hs' smile is gentle. "i know, jk-ah. but you're allowed to have feelings."
"i'll be fine," jk murmurs sleepily.
hs hums a soft noise of concern, petting jk's hair off his forehead, but jk isn't lying just to reassure his hyung.
his feelings aren't the problem. he's had feelings for nj - that have changed and grown as he has, of course - for years.
it's the nervous flutter in his belly,
the clenching heat that reminds him what his instincts yearn for.
instincts that jk isn't supposed to feel to begin with.
he'll be fine… but he'll be thinking the whole time, too, how nice it would be. to finally give into those urges with nj.
"if you say so," hs whispers.
their busy filming schedules are a helpful distraction, those first three days, especially with how often they're packed together as a group. they film on a beach, at a ski resort, a mountain lodge, a brewery.
it's fun to play in the snow. less fun to sit in hair and makeup,
but they make each other laugh. they nap and eat good food, and when jk goes back to the cabin at night, things with nj are comfortable. easy.
(maybe a /little/ less easy when nj steps out of his bedroom shirtless, or leaves the shower in just a towel. but jk toughs it out.)
(and anyway, he's pretty sure he catches nj looking too. jk tries not to preen too much thinking about it.)
for their last evening of winter package filming, jk decides to make suyuk in his and nj's cabin. yg and hs both plan to leave early for personal schedules, so it feels
like the right thing to do. a kind of homemade farewell dinner that yg and sj don't have to make for once.
jk knows this recipe well - any recipes involving pork belly are precious to him - so he doesn't mind when nj offers to help.
"jk-ah," nj says slowly, raising an eyebrow.
"feeding me slices of apple isn't letting me help."
jk blinks innocently, taking a bite of apple himself. "isn't it?"
"hyung, there's not a lot to chop, it's fine. actually, ah, can you check how much doenjang goes in?"
jk pour some wine into the pot,
just going with what feels right, and just happens to look up and see nj staring, mouth open, at jk's phone.
jk freezes. "hyung? does the recipe say…?"
"the recipe?" nj's voice cracks. "fuck, ah, it's— did you have it open? i couldn't—"
jk's stomach drops. there's no way…
he steps over and grabs his phone from nj's hands, barely hearing nj's "jk-ah, shit, i swear i didn't mean to—" over the sudden heavy wash of embarrassment inside him.
his phone browser didn't open to the recipe, but instead to an alpha/omega story he was reading last night.
jk's face burns, his whole body flushing with it. the feeling is /awful/. "h- hyung," he stutters out. he wants to cry. maybe he can blame it on cutting onions. "it's not—"
"it's not my business," nj finishes for him, voice firm. "it's fine. you have nothing to explain to me."
'i do,' jk thinks desperately. 'i have so much to explain to you, hyung.'
he's confused why nj isn't teasing him. why he doesn't look more disgusted with him.
the story was… fuck. why did it have to be that one!!
jk finally gets the recipe back, letting out a shaky breath.
he dutifully measures out ingredients to put into the pot, asking nj to hand him things on the other side of the counter with a trembling voice, and—
he can't stop thinking about that dumb story. saved far down the page, specifically to the part of the sex that jk got off to.
nj knows… he knows now that jk reads stories like an omega in heat begging to be bred by some older rogue alpha, begging to be knotted and knocked up in the lewdest way, god, if jk could just go back in time and slap himself for what he got off to—
"jk-ah," nj says suddenly.
jk startles, dropping the lid to the pot on the stove.
"ah, what, are you me now?" nj huffs out, picking up the lid and setting it back in place. "you're still shaking, baby."
"'m fine," jk mutters. he is just utterly, miserably embarrassed.
"look at me, please?" nj murmurs.
so jk does. his stomach tightens at the way nj is staring at him, so intense suddenly. so dark.
"you have nothing to be embarrassed about."
jk chokes out a laugh. "yes i do."
nj blinks. the corner of his mouth tugs up with a smile. "okay. maybe you do a tiny bit."
"but we all do, i mean, there's nothing wrong with it. god, it's actually kind of innocent."
"innocent?!" jk snaps. it's just about the last thing he expected nj to say.
"mm, in a way, yeah. reading stories, fantasies like that, i don't know, there's something sweet about it."
"sweet," jk echoes. is he being made fun of? he doesn't think nj would, but why else—
"well, yeah, as opposed to the stuff i watch."
jk stills. "what you watch?"
"it's only fair, right?" nj says. his voice is low, quiet, but jk thinks that might just be nj's own embarrassment.
"i, uh. there's this channel, these two guys who roleplay alpha and omega when they have sex. they're not— they're still on suppressants, you know, like everyone. but they talk like they aren't."
jk grips the counter. new heat washes through him, makes him aware of his blush,
but the nervous flutter of excitement is back in his belly, too, realizing what nj is confessing to.
"you watch that?"
nj nods. he shrugs. "it's hot."
jk wants to laugh. instead, he licks his lips. "they- they pretend, like, they say stuff…?"
"i could show you, if you want."
jk gulps. it's so loud to his own ears, nj must be able to hear it too, and jk wants to laugh at himself except—
"hyung," he breathes out. "we- we're making dinner for the others."
nj's eyes widen. "no, yeah, of course. i meant— not now. but if you're curious…" he trails off.
jk's heart is beating so fast. he isn't sure if it ever really calmed down, after finding nj holding his phone. "i- i am. curious."
the look nj gives him is so heated, dark and knowing, that jk has to glance away. he busies himself with setting the timer for the suyuk.
jk does laugh, then, at nj's choice of word. "ahh, hyung. really?"
nj laughs too, a short burst of noise. "sorry. it's— maybe admitting this is too much, ah, but you're the only one i would ever mention those videos too. and i thought about you, while i was watching them."
jk bites hard at his lip, his stomach giving this sudden, warm lurch. "hyung," he whispers.
doesn't nj know what that sounds like? what he's implying? no man is this oblivious…
"'s true," is all nj says, palm rubbing the middle of jk's back. "do you need any more help with—"
"ah, no," jk mumbles. "it has to cook for a bit, and jin-hyung has the stuff for wraps at their cabin. i'll just take the pot over when it's done."
"maybe, uh." nj's hand drops from jk's back, and then jk is sucking in a sharp breath when he feels the touch at his waist.
nj's hand curls there, cupping to draw jk's body closer, and jk thinks, this is it. shit, holy fuck, he's finally going to—
nj leans close, nose tucking just under jk's ear, and he sighs. he asks in a very low voice, "you take your pills in the morning, right? with breakfast?"
jk doesn't have to ask what kind of pills nj means. his pulse thuds quickly. "y- yeah."
"maybe, later tonight, i can show you those videos. and— jk-ah, tomorrow morning, maybe we can skip—"
"hyung," jk gasps out, turning to meet nj's eyes. aching at the want he finds there.
and that's how it feels, right now, there's no other word for it - it aches inside, this feeling of wanting to be with nj. to experience things they aren't allowed to.
"you mean it? really?"
"only if you're okay with that. since- since neither of us will have a heat or rut,
it's really unlikely anyone will know. just for a few days, since we're out in the woods anyway…"
jk bursts into sudden laughter, loud and cackling. "ah hyung. the woods?"
"for the vibes," nj says, mouth tugged up in the corner. such a handsome smirk. ugh.
"okay," jk answers.
he almost lets out a squeak when nj squeezes at his hip, fingers holding tight before he lets go entirely.
"i want it," jk murmurs. he isn't sure if he could put how /much/ he wants it into words, so he doesn't try. "and i trust you."
"baby," nj says, nuzzling
his face into jk's hair, and the heat inside jk curls so sweetly, this low simmer of need, the giddiness. the nervousness.
"i can't wait to smell you again."
jk hums, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "alpha likes my scent that much?"
nj goes very still next to him.
"i— sorry," jk blurts out, assuming that was pushing it too far, and he isn't expecting to feel, as much as hear, the huff of nj's laugh in his hair.
nj lets out a shaky breath after. "maybe… if we're going to be meeting with the others, maybe don't use that word just yet, ah."
heat sparks down jk's spine at the promise in that word. at the way nj is breathing a little heavier, and jk swears - he /swears/ - that if they could really smell each other, he'd be able to smell nj's arousal.
"yeah, sorry," jk agrees in a low mumble.
"but i do."
"hn?" jk is starting to wonder how flushed his cheeks look, with the warmth that's been stirring inside him this whole time.
"i do like your scent that much, omega," nj tells him in a very deep voice, so close to his ear, and jk's lips part, his eyelids fluttering.
he gets it now. how dangerous it is to use those words. how can just a title have him feeling so dizzy, yearning?
"i can watch the pot while you go change," nj murmurs, and jk nods. he mentioned wanting to change after oil splashed on his shirt.
he steps out of the kitchen,
turning around to find that nj is watching him, and jk gets an idea.
it's a silly one. (he can already imagine sj's loud laughter, if he ever found out.)
jk slowly pulls his shirt off up over his head, leaving his chest bare, and gets nj's raised eyebrows. his dragging gaze.
jk doesn't have to glance down to know how hard his nipples are, and it's /that/ thought, for some reason, that makes his face heat with a new blush.
"can i borrow one of your sweatshirts?" jk asks innocently.
nj ducks his head when he huffs out a laugh. "yeah. go 'head, baby."
jk and nj make the short trek over to sj and yg's cabin. (it'll become just sj's cabin, when yg heads back to seoul, and jm and tae will be sharing the third cabin with hs gone. jk suspects the others will just do a lot of gaming and napping.)
everyone praises jk's suyuk.
he preens, watching his hyungs eat well. he can't help it. they tell him again and again how delicious it is and jm makes noodles for them all to share when he says he has a craving and it's just— nice, sharing this with all of them without the pressure of cameras filming it.
jk, warm from a little bit of wine, ends up admitting to jm and tae that he flirted with nj (he doesn't bring up the rest of it, not because he doesn't trust them, but to respect nj's privacy).
jm laughs too hard, "you showed him your belly??" while tae insists that's sexy.
"i don't know how i'll survive if something actually happens between us, ah," jk complains, head in jm's lap.
"just take it slowly."
"or don't, passion is sexy too," tae says.
"stop, you keep calling everything sexy," jm tells tae with a short laugh. "jk-ah. just be yourself."
those words strike jk deeper than jm could ever realize.
he wants to be himself. no suppressing any part of him, no hiding, just— /him/. jeon jungkook. an omega.
he sits up and drags the sleeve of nj's sweatshirt over his eyes, ignoring jm's soft, concerned look. "i- i will."
hs doesn't let him leave without kisses (which jk just scrunches his face up happily for) and yg hugs him too, before jk and nj head back to their cabin for the night.
jk wonders if it's the brisk winter air or the anticipation of being alone with nj that sobers him up so fast.
he steps into the cabin and shivers, setting the washed pot back on the stove, running his fingers through his hair, and—
there's a touch at the small of his back, nj suddenly much closer. "i'm gonna go change into pajamas," he says.
jk nods. "o- okay."
"if you still want…"
he trails off. so jk nods again.
"i, ah. i do. i do still want."
"okay," nj says, smiling almost shyly. "you can come over whenever. change into— ah." nj cuts off, making a face.
jk blinks. "what? what?"
"i was gonna say change into something more comfy, but that's a bit…"
jk laughs. "hyung. it's okay, i know what you mean."
"good. cool. but if you have lingerie and want to slip into that, like, just throwing it out there, i'm not opposed—"
jk shoves him and nj stumbles away, grinning brightly.
jk brings his cold hands up to cup his cheeks,
and wills some of the heat from his blushing face to warm his fingers up faster.
he sort of wishes he did have lingerie packed that he could surprise nj with now. (for the joke, of course.)
jk has this brief, terrible realization that there's a good chance nj would, accidently,
rip any lingerie that jk wore, that he wanted to show off for nj. that's never actually been a thing for jk, not even in a guiltier fantasy, but—
fuck. his dick starts to chub up when he thinks about it, while changing into some loose sweatpants instead.
jk exhales shakily.
nj is shirtless when jk steps into his room.
jk hovers in the doorway self-consciously for half a second and then nj is smiling and gesturing over to him, "jk-ah, it's cool, c'mere."
so he goes, in his sweatpants and oversized t-shirt, sliding into nj's bed.
this part, at least, is comfortable enough for him. making himself at home in one of his hyungs' beds, enjoying - in the normal, accepted way - how good nj smells.
he tries not to get distracted by nj's broad, bare chest.
"okay, ah." nj opens his laptop, resting it
on a raised tray they can keep in bed.
jk also tries really, really hard not to think about how easy it would be to jerk off, watching nj's videos like this.
"if you get uncomfortable, please let me know. it- it might not be your thing."
"it is," jk mumbles automatically.
nj laughs shortly. "jk-ah. just agree."
"right, ah, sorry. i'll tell you if it's too much."
"before," nj continues, opening a folder - he has the videos saved? - and then turning to meet jk's wide eyes, "the story you had."
jk swallows. he feels a small rush of embarrassment.
"was that the first time you read something like that…?"
jk laughs, startled. "no."
"oh. how long?"
jk should've been expecting it, the obvious follow-up question, but it still makes his face flush warmer, hands shoving under his thighs. "like. like a year?"
"oh wow," nj says, and then when he realizes, "fuck, sorry, that's— it's not a bad thing. i just didn't think, ah."
"that i'm that perverted?" jk mutters wryly.
"i didn't think it's something you were keeping to yourself for so long. is it always an alpha and an omega, too?"
jk lets out a shaky breath, realizing there's no reason to be this ashamed, if they're going to be watching porn in a few minutes. "m- most of the time, but not always. sometimes, ah. an alpha and an alpha. or two omegas." jk pauses, then adds, "or an omega with a lot of alphas."
something flashes over nj's face before he glances away. very quietly, he says, "fuck."
"they're just stories," jk whines.
"that, uh." nj clears his throat. "that wasn't a bad 'fuck,' jk-ah."
jk's belly tightens.
"what about hyung? how long have you watched…?" jk asks.
"mm, since my last rut. or, well, you know what i mean. the time i would've been in rut. i couldn't stop thinking about knots," nj laughs, "and somehow ended up here."
he opens the video, the starting frame of two men already in bed, wearing masks to cover their nose and mouth.
jk sits up straighter, eyes widening. he feels the heat of nj's bare arm against his, leaning a little into it, but his eyes are wide, wide because—
the 2 guys in the video look exactly like them.
not their faces, probably, but their bodies. the sizes. it's like seeing /them/.
"is- is he the omega?" jk blurts out, pointing to the man who is slightly less broad, waist more slender, dark hair the exact same length as jk's.
he's so glad the other man, at least, doesn't have silver hair like nj currently does. that would really be too much.
jk doesn't say anything else, settling back. but he's thinking it loudly - the 'omega' even has tattoos on his arm. not as many and not the same as jk's, but the similarities—
"are you okay watching without headphones? the talk, uh. plays a big part."
"that's fine," jk murmurs.
there's a wave of warmth that washes through him - almost seems to creep, from his scalp all the way down to his toes - once nj hits play and the two guys start touching.
it's porn. he's watching porn with nj-hyung. who's half-naked because he wants jk to suffer. (or something.)
but jk doesn't stop leaning into nj's side. he likes the comfort of it, side-by-side on his bed, even when his breath hitches as hands start stroking bare cocks, when fingers dip between the- the omega's cheeks.
"hyung," he moans, and jk thinks, oh.
"are you wet?"
their faces are tucked into each other's necks - not kissing, with masks on, but still seeming to nuzzle there.
the omega strokes his fingers over the back of the alpha's head, just touching his hair. jk's belly clenches at how familiar the gesture is.
"please, my- my heat."
jk snorts. he doesn't mean to, but nj nudges his arm into jk's, "yah, what?"
"no one really in heat would talk like that," jk mumbles, even if his cock twitches at the way the alpha manhandles the omega, playing with his hole, showing off how it glistens with what must be lube.
jk can't stop seeing himself and nj in their places. and maybe that's why he's finding this so hot, more than the talk, more than the fact it's people having sex—
it looks like nj is showing off /his/ hole. like nj's arm is tight around jk's naked body, holding him close.
"how would you know, huh?"
jk purses his lips. maybe the talk in his stories isn't much better. "sorry. i'll be quiet."
nj touches his thigh, maybe just a reassuring pat. but then he doesn't pull his hand back.
the actors - partners? - in the video lose their masks. jk blinks
in surprise, belly drawing up tight as the alpha kisses wetly down the omega's body, biting, saying dirty things in a deep voice, "so wet for me, does it feel empty, huh? ready for alpha to breed you?"
it's a little embarrassing, hearing strangers speak those things out loud.
but the embarrassment is overshadowed by arousal when the omega is fingered open, when he whines, when he begs and calls out for 'hyung' and the alpha gets him on his belly with his ass raised, spreading him, "you need alpha to breed this hole so badly, baby, yeah?"
it startles nj into glancing over, and jk lets out a shaky breath. "sorry."
nj is hard. jk can see the thick shape of him in his sweatpants. jk is hard too.
"it's okay," nj mumbles. he's not looking at the laptop right now. "jk-ah, if you want to…"
"'s too much," jk whines.
nj pauses the video immediately, and jk almost drops his head back with a groan.
"not- not that kind of too much, ah. hyung."
why is it so awkward?
jk knows what he wants. what he thinks they both have been wanting for a while, aching for it, this teasing, instinctual pull.
why can't he just make himself ask for it? beg for nj to have him the way the not-omega in the video is?
jk's cock throbs harder just at the thought of it.
"you can," nj speaks up, squeezing tight enough at jk's thigh suddenly that jk has to bite back a moan. "do you want to?"
jk nods shyly. he rests his hand over the shape of his dick through his sweatpants, and nj just /smiles/, dimpled and kind, before his face settles back into that intense expression that makes jk shiver.
"good. go on."
"you too," jk huffs, hand sliding down into his pants.
"it won't bother you?" nj asks, and jk's nose scrunches as he leans heavier into the side of nj's chest, close enough now to be able to turn his head and nose at nj's throat if he wants to.
nj is so warm, so solid. jk can't put into words how exciting it feels.
nj hums this rough little noise, almost a growl. and then he shoves his pants down, pushes them far enough to free his hard cock.
jk's mouth drops open in shock, fingers spasming weakly around the length of his own cock still tucked inside his pants. "h- hyung," he whispers.
"fuck," nj swears, long fingers wrapping around himself, the head shining and flushed dark.
jk doesn't think his mouth has ever filled with saliva so fast. nj starts the video again and— jk doesn't even pretend to look.
"baby," nj laughs, arm nudging into jk's side. "c'mon."
"big," jk says helplessly. his muscles clench up like he's already imagining how nj would feel inside him, and it makes his face burn hotter. it makes him drool even more.
"jk-ah," nj says in a lower voice, stern, and jk swallows and finally tears his gaze away.
on screen, the omega is mounted, getting fucked deeply. there's quiet moans, a chant of 'alpha, alpha—' until the omega's hair is grabbed and pulled, and jk squeezes around his cock, a small moan escaping his lips. imagining it.
he leans into nj's chest and lets himself ask,
"is it on purpose? the- the way they look like us?"
the slick sound of nj jerking off is so hot, even better than the sounds from the video, than the rustle of jk's clothes as his cock pulses in his own touch, still hidden away.
"ah, it's not—" nj cuts off, hips jerking.
jk shouldn't be watching, maybe, but he does. he watches the way nj fucks up into the tight grip of his fist, watches his muscles tense and strain, the way his belly moves with his shaky breaths.
jk is obsessed with all of it. the arousal is pulled tight inside him, aching.
"you can't tell me you didn't notice."
nj's laugh comes out as a short breath. "i noticed. it was a happy accident."
jk lets himself smile at that, shifting on the bed so he can tuck his nose more firmly into the side of nj's neck, looking for a scent that's too faint to smell.
he wonders if nj's cum, his precum smells better when they're off suppressants. jk whines at the thought.
the alpha onscreen starts telling the omega to take his knot, 'that's right, gonna get you so pregnant,' and jk tunes it out to listen to nj instead. his hitched breaths,
the strain in his quiet groans. jk moans blearily and jerks himself off faster and opens his mouth over nj's neck, feels greedier as he gets closer to coming, fuck, nj's cock is /so big/—
"can you come?" nj asks, and jk nods immediately. "want you to, baby. omega. come for me."
jk, without changing the speed of his hand or his grip, suddenly starts to come. just like that.
he gasps at how sudden it is, pulsing relief and mess pumped out over his fist, soaking his sweatpants, his eyes squeezed shut and mouth open and gasping over nj's flushed skin.
it feels like nj pulled the orgasm right out of him. just by telling him to come.
"fuck," jk chokes out, panting, and nj's head drops back, hand moving in a blur when he starts to come soon after.
nj accidentally kicks the tray, the laptop sliding off and landing on the bed.
jk buries his laugh against nj's shoulder.
"shit, ah," nj gasps, stroking himself through it until he's finished spilling, most of it pooled over his belly.
jk licks his lips, and is glad nj doesn't catch him doing it. he settles for nuzzling at nj's arm as he comes down.
"okay?" nj asks him, and jk hums.
"yeah. 'course i am. are you?"
"the- the way you sound." nj's gaze is so hot, so dark, and jk fights to sink lower against nj's side and hide from it. "when you come. god. i didn't think you made any noise."
jk snorts. "what, at the dorm?"
"i don't make noise. because i know i'm living with six other guys."
"sorry, don't listen to me," nj slurs out, and jk laughs a more sincere laugh, pressing his lips to nj's shoulder. nuzzling again, because it feels nice to do.
"hyung. that was so good."
"i- i didn't think you'd want to do something like that. i thought it'd weird you out."
"jk-ah," nj says warmly, "grab me a tissue? and then, ah, c'mere."
so jk does. he grabs himself one too, both of them cleaning up the worst of it before nj tugs his pants back up.
(jk pouts, sad to see nj's dick go, and nj notices and laughs loudly. loud enough to have jk's face scrunching with his own smile.)
it feels better like this, actually cuddling, tucked into nj's side with an arm around his shoulders, still shivering from the aftershocks.
"okay?" nj asks again. jk wants to pet at nj's nipple, all puffy and brown, but he knows nj is ticklish there, so he resists.
"yeah. 'm really okay. hyung," jk says softly, blinking innocently up at nj, "i think my taste in porn is still dirtier than yours."
nj rolls his eyes.
"tell me i'm wrong."
"isn't real porn dirtier by default? there's some videos, ah, focused on. creampies and stuff."
jk's nose scrunches at that.
nj huffs. "what? you're not into that?"
"no, it's just weird to hear you say it."
"ah, yeah, that's fair," nj murmurs, smiling.
"thank you for showing me though," jk adds softly. "you really don't mind this?"
nj's fingers pet gently through jk's hair. "by 'this' you mean us, yeah?"
"i don't mind it. not at all. jk-ah, i- i desperately wanted you to come to me for this. after scenting you."
"you should've just said something," jk mumbles. nj pinches his nipple, and jk yelps, but doesn't fight back. he maybe deserved that.
"i did message you about knots."
jk blinks. "okay. you might have a point."
"tomorrow morning," nj says, his voice just a little unsteady,
"you really want to try it? a few days of no suppressants?"
jk lifts up, bracing his arm on the mattress, so he can stare down at nj. nj lifts a hand to trace his thumb over jk's lips, and his breath hitches.
"i do," jk says. "i- i want to try it more than anything, hyung."
"okay." the smile nj gives him is reassuring, gentle, and jk feels himself melting back into nj's side.
even just smelling like sweat and skin and soap, jk loves nj's scent. he can't get enough of it, belly drawing tight as he nuzzles there.
"we'll try it, then, baby."
"one more thing," jk murmurs, lifting up again, fingers sliding into nj's hair, and nj's lips are curved into a smile when jk presses a kiss there, slow and firm.
nj kisses him back just as gently. jk has to swallow back a whimper, tipping their foreheads together.
they're almost there
link to top until the actual (real) (i mean it this time) (not clickbait) last update !!
they both clean up - jk reluctantly leaves nj's bed to change into boxers and nj mumbles about wanting to go wash up since he got sweaty.
jk finds himself standing in nj's bedroom doorway again, and nj asks, "ah, round two?"
jk's face scrunches. "hyung. can i sleep here?"
"yeah." nj isn't quite smiling, but his expression is gentle. knowing. "that's fine. do you need to set an alarm or anything?"
"holy shit," jk says, falling back dramatically on nj's bed until his head hits the pillow, "we don't have to be up early. i just realized."
"i'll take that as a no, then."
jk blinks up at nj, biting at his lip when the way nj gazes at him has his stomach drawing up tight. "sleep in with me?"
"i'll, ah, try my best," nj mumbles, turning off the light, settling down under the sheet.
"hyung," jk says with a pout.
"you're going to keep working even though it's time off, aren't you."
"just a little bit," nj insists. "can't help it."
jk hums. he's reminded, suddenly, of nj's notebook that jm peeked at - mentions of jk that jm thought may be lyrics.
jk shifts closer, nuzzling at nj's arm.
"hyung. would you tell me if you were writing a song about me?"
"ah. maybe? did i say something to make you think…?"
"your notebook," jk blurts out. "the one where you wrote about my scent and stuff."
"ahhh." nj huffs out a quiet laugh, fingers brushing through jk's hair.
"those weren't lyrics, baby. when were you looking?"
"uh, not important," jk mutters, "but then what were they?"
"i was listing out things that i thought could be rut symptoms, to try and pinpoint when i was going through rut."
jk blinks. "what does that have to do with me?"
nj's fingers go still in his hair before he lets out another low, huffed noise that could be a laugh or a sigh. "everything. it has everything to do with you, jk-ah."
jk's stomach clenches. "like—"
"i've been thinking about you a lot anyway," nj admits quietly. "for a while."
"but that time of the month i think i might be in rut, it's just— so much more intense. that cute little display you did, huh, taking off your shirt today. do you know how crazy that would've made me, if i was in rut? even a suppressed one?"
jk swallows. "o- oh."
"hyung," jk whispers, chasing a bold urge, curled up with nj like this, both of them confessing to things they've been holding onto for a while. "when the suppressants wear off, the- the things they did in that video, how they were pretending…"
nj's breath stutters next to him.
"can we do that too?"
"jk-ah," nj says, voice deep, playfully scolding, "this isn't the kind of relaxing talk that's gonna help us fall sleep."
jk's face heats with embarrassment. "right. sorry."
"but yeah. yeah, we can. we'll talk more later, okay?"
"okay," jk agrees softly.
he throws his leg over nj's to cuddle in closer, trying to ignore the heat that sparks inside him when his bare skin touches nj's.
jk waits to see if nj protests.
but all nj does is close his eyes, quiet breaths evening out, steady and warm next to jk as he drifts off too.
jk wakes once when nj gets out of bed, stretching, slurring out a sleepy, "'s morning?"
nj pets over his back, and it's too easy to relax back into the bed after that.
"it's still early, go back to sleep, baby," nj tells him in a rough voice.
jk hums, smiling, toes curling.
he does fall back asleep, and then wakes up to the smell of coffee and toast.
funnily enough, jk thinks that ignoring the little blue pill he's taken every day for the last 5 years is more of a wake-up call than the coffee.
"the worst possible side effects seem to be headache
or nausea," nj says when jk asks him if he really also skipped his pill. "so please let me know if you feel sick in any way. and… it could take more than 24 hours."
jk nods. he read that during his sneaky research. he also read they could start feeling the changes sooner, too.
"are you scared?" nj asks, smiling, and jk's belly flutters. he shakes his head.
"just- just excited. impatient."
nj hums. "i get that. you should find a distraction, something to do to relax. maybe go game with jin-hyung, huh?"
"that's the opposite of relaxing," jk mutters,
but he smiles after he says it so nj knows he means it kindly.
"ah, okay, fair."
"hyung," jk says, shuffling over to the table where nj is sitting to squeeze at his shoulders, gently massaging until nj drops his head back and groans, and then jk works him with a firmer touch.
"please relax too, okay? don't stress about work."
"i won't," nj says, eyes closed. "fuck, you're so good at that."
jk should laugh, maybe, or tease nj.
instead, he blushes.
"mm, no, you're really strong. my beautiful and strong omega, how'd i get so lucky?"
jk's hands freeze, warmth washing through him at nj's words. how they make him feel giddy, pleased.
"was that too far?" nj asks after a few seconds, and jk laughs nervously.
"no, no. i- i liked it. sorry. just surprised."
nj's smile looks pleased too, when his head tips back.
"did you like it enough to maybe keep rubbing my shoulders?"
jk's face scrunches, a silent cackle at nj's pleading eyes, because he finds the expression too cute, even upside-down like this.
"whatever my alpha wants," jk says, breath catching when nj moans at jk's harder touch.
jk does end up gaming with sj for a while for the distraction, and then sj makes a late lunch that jk helps out with, until sj tells him to go invite the others over.
even in their downtime, it's hard to resist sharing meals together. but jk wouldn't have it any other way.
he doesn't notice any changes - and the others don't say anything either, but it's unlikely they'd notice unless jk went into heat - until later that night, just finishing his skincare routine when nj steps into the bathroom.
nj's shirt is off for bed (and for washing his face),
and there's something— different, about the way he smells. not the pleasant chemical scents, like deodorant or soap or cologne, but something that just… goes deeper.
jk hides behind nj and sniffs at the back of nj's neck, his shoulders.
"i can hear you," nj murmurs. "jk-ah."
"hyung, it's—" jk cuts off. he tucks his nose right up against the side of nj's neck, just below his ear, one of his hands resting on nj's shoulder.
it feels like all the breath leaves his body in one whoosh, jk's eyes widening, that dark, enticing scent filling his senses.
"can smell you," jk rasps out. before he even consciously decides to do so, he's crowding nj up against the wall of the bathroom, nose finding its spot in nj's neck again.
jk's belly twists up hot, his breaths coming out shorter, almost frantic. "alpha," he moans.
"shh, baby, slow down. you can smell me? for real?"
"yeah, it's like—" jk squeezes his eyes shut, tipping his forehead against nj's broad shoulder just to catch his breath. despite the fact he rudely pinned nj to the wall out of nowhere, nj rubs soothing circles over jk's back.
"it's like i know it's /you/, this smell, like i- i can tell you're an alpha. our leader. all of it's right there, ah, it's—"
"yeah? and you like that?" nj's voice is bright with excitement too, and jk moans.
"i like it. i like it so much, hyung, fuck."
nj laughs roughly.
"ah, don't work yourself up too much," he tries to say, but jk already has his mouth open over nj's neck, licking greedily there and then whining helplessly when nj squeezes hard at his waist.
"we- we should have a talk about marks, baby, before we do anything."
jk pulls back,
staring at the shine left on nj's neck from his hungry kisses. "mine."
"fuck, you do not make it easy," nj groans.
which is how jk finds himself locked out of the bathroom, his arms crossed. sulking.
he feels like a pet that's been naughty. and maybe that's not too far off.
jk goes into nj's room to wait - he's hoping nj will agree that they can sleep in the same bed again - and realizes why that's a mistake once he's near the bed.
it smells like nj.
it smells a /lot/ like nj, and a little bit like jk, too.
jk noses gently at the pillow nj used,
at the blanket that was draped over his bare skin last night, the sheet he slept on.
he feels drunk on how intoxicating that scent is, sniffing again and again, frustrated that he can't put it into words, but it's just— nj. alpha. skin, sweat, safety, desire.
jk moans weakly.
that's how nj finds him, approaching jk almost cautiously, even though jk is just curled on his side nuzzling nj's pillow.
"nesting?" nj asks, and jk hums a soft, confused noise. "like, ah. are you making a nest?"
jk blinks. "i- i don't think so. just smells so good, hyung."
"baby," nj murmurs, voice warm with how fond he sounds, "i think it's safe to say your suppressants have already started wearing off, huh?"
"how can you smell this good," jk whines, trying to pull nj down into bed and letting out a surprised yelp when nj pins him down instead.
until now, jk hasn't been thinking about the other parts of being an omega, of having instincts try to guide him. but nj pins him to the mattress, broad and bare-chested above him, and jk immediately drops his head back to show his throat.
nj presses a kiss there. "my omega."
the heat inside him coils, clenching, and all jk can manage is a soft whimper at the brush of nj's lips over his throat.
"is this okay?" nj asks.
"please," jk gasps. "are, oh, will- will you bite me?"
nj sighs. "no marks. you know that, jk-ah."
"just bite softly," jk tries.
that at least gets nj's lips tugging up with a smile. "it's good for us to talk about this before i'm more affected too. we can try biting in hidden places, yeah? under clothes. but not necks."
"okay," jk mumbles.
"you talked about acting out a fantasy. you still want that?"
"like the video?" jk asks, heart thudding fast in his chest, and nj nods. "yes. except- except us, not them. and hyung, when the suppressants wear off all the way, it'll be real…"
nj's gaze is so dark, then, so heavy, that jk squirms with that new urge to submit. "it will."
"i'm sorry," jk blurts out, almost laughing at how hard the heat tugs in his gut, the way his cock wants to swell full just from lying beneath nj like this. "i can't stop thinking about it."
"ah, you don't need to apologize for that," nj murmurs. "even the way you look at me—"
jk licks his lips without thinking. he wants to ask, how do i look at you?
"hyung wants it just as much."
"let's wait," jk blurts out, and this time he does laugh at the uncomfortable clench in his belly, like his body is protesting his decision already. "until you're also—"
"able to smell you?" nj finishes for him, nosing playfully at the side of jk's neck. "able to appreciate how nicely you submit for me, how well you'll take my knot, baby?"
jk draws in a sharp breath, back arching. the ache inside him burns with how much he wants those things.
and he knows that nj knows that.
which means his alpha is a big mean /tease/.
"wanna be wet for you," jk breathes out, voice low, his heavy gaze meeting nj's. "want you to- to be able to smell how much i want it, how wet you get me. how badly i need to be filled a- and bred."
nj tucks his face against jk's throat again, his laugh coming out rough, so rough. "yeah? you want alpha to put a baby in you, sweetheart?"
jk shudders, pleasure pouring down his spine at the thought. "p- please, ah."
"shh, tomorrow. it'll feel so much better tomorrow, baby."
jk nods. he just desperately hopes that it's enough time for nj to start experiencing this too.
nj rolls off of him and cool air rushes where jk was so hot, covered by nj's body. he wonders, belly tight, if he's already started to get wet. if he's dripping slick because of nj.
"ah, i forgot water," nj mutters, and jk blurts out, "i'll go get it."
nj's fingers rest gently over jk's wrist after he sits up. it's almost funny, the way his face is so full of /want/, but his eyes are soft with concern. "will you be okay walking?"
"hyung," jk says, pouting.
"it's not— i mean, it's overwhelming, but just like being really horny. i promise i'm okay to walk to the kitchen."
(even so, jk says a little prayer that his legs don't give out on him just before he slides out of bed.)
jk gets water for both of them and then takes a detour,
feeling a warm pulse of embarrassment when he closes the bathroom door and reaches into his underwear to see if he's wet.
his fingers come away slippery, glistening clear and slick.
"oh," jk says.
he isn't surprised when his eyes tear up, but he isn't proud of it, either.
"fuck," he mumbles, feeling ridiculous, feeling overwhelmed and - maybe most confusing of all - feeling a burst of happiness inside him.
he's wet. nj pressed him into the bed and he got wet, the way omegas do.
jk cleans up quickly before nj gets worried, splashing water on his
face too, hoping nj won't be able to tell.
but nj has known him for 9 years. he sees jk smile shakily as he sets water on the bedside table, and something bursts in nj's scent that makes jk's heart clench.
is that worry? is that what being able to smell nj's worry feels like?
"c'mere," nj murmurs, and jk goes, letting nj pull him into his arms, sniffling when a kiss is placed to the top of his head. "you were gone for a bit. is this too much?"
"no," jk says quickly. "it's not that. it's just… y- you know when something feels so big, emotionally,
you can't help but cry a little?"
nj hums. "yeah. i do know that."
"i got wet," jk mumbles. "hyung made me wet and it felt so good i cried."
nj laughs, but it's all gentle, wrapped up in fondness, his arms still holding jk close. "you're allowed to cry."
jk sighs. "i know."
"and you're allowed to call for a break if any of this gets too overwhelming, good or bad, okay?"
"i know," jk repeats. and he really does. "you too. like, ah, imagine how sensitive your knot will be…"
"please don't imagine that," nj chokes out. "at least not right now. god."
jk grins. nj notices and pinches him.
he feels sleepier after crying, feels sleepier in general being surrounded by such a familiar and comforting scent. he takes his spot sprawled out next to nj and tucks his face against nj's bare skin, breathing slowly as he falls asleep.
jk thinks it must still be way too early when he wakes up, but as soon as he's awake enough to realize how thirsty he is, he can't fall back into sleep.
he reaches for a bottle of water, reluctantly sitting up in bed to gulp some down so he doesn't accidentally spill it.
he squints at his phone. 6:42 a.m. ugh, way too early.
jk sighs as he drinks more water before setting it back and sinking down into bed again, eyes heavy, the pillow so soft under his head…
his gasp comes out choked when an arm suddenly circles around him from behind.
"baby," nj says in that deep, gravelly morning voice, so deep it makes jk's toes curl. "morning?"
"no, too early," jk rasps back, but his pulse is picking up when nj starts to nose at the back of his neck, soft breaths puffed out into his hair.
nj squeezes him tighter. "omega."
jk knows. just from the way nj rumbles that word, jk knows.
he can smell it, too - the way nj's scent gets a little darker, heavier. it has to be arousal. nj was right. the only way to describe the scent is /sex/.
"fuck," nj swears, nosing almost aggressively, breaths damp.
his lips brush the sensitive shell of jk's ear when he whispers, "your scent. oh jk-ah, baby, that scent. is that you?"
heat washes through jk, spreading almost lazily, flushing him warm in nj's tight hold. "hyung."
it's almost like nj is trying to fuse their bodies together,
how closely he holds jk, close enough for jk to feel the hard press of nj's cock against his ass.
jk might already be slicking up, with how much the desire in nj's scent and touches and voice get to him.
"fuck," nj says, palm sliding over jk's bare stomach, lips dragging wet.
he sucks at some spot just below jk's ear that has jk mewling, head tilting to the side, exposing more of his neck for nj's hungry mouth. "shit, gonna make you mine—"
"yeah," jk gasps, swallowing the saliva that's pooled on his tongue, legs squirming to press back closer to nj.
"please, a- ah—"
"wanna give you everything," nj continues, still in that deep voice roughened by sleep, his scent getting thicker in the air every second. "i can even smell—"
nj's hand slides away from jk's belly, working between them instead. down the back of jk's underwear.
heat floods jk's face, his neck, his lips parting with a soft whine.
"you're wet for me."
"'course i am," jk huffs out, shuddering at the touch of fingers over his hole, new and so welcome, jk's never felt as open and needy as this—
"omega. is this okay?"
jk nods, panting.
he reaches back and finds where nj's wrist disappears down the back of his boxers, trying to press his fingers closer, trying to press them /in/—
"hey, shh, slow down," nj murmurs, kissing jk's bare shoulder. "there's no rush. is this what you want now? my fingers?"
"jk-ah," nj says sternly, and jk /swears/ he can feel how more slick leaks from his hole.
"i just want— anything," jk says. "please."
"the way you smell," nj starts to say, voice cutting off with a growl, and jk nearly comes just from the scrape of nj's teeth over his shoulder.
he wants their clothes gone, wants to feel all of nj's bare skin against his own. he wants the claiming sting of nj's teeth at his throat, and knows he's not allowed to beg for that.
take me, jk thinks loudly, desperately, when trying to form words is too hard. please, alpha.
nj draws away - jk cries out immediately, and knows that's instinct, how he doesn't want nj to go - but it's just to help jk lie flat on his back, nj staring down at him.
minutes ago, jk was worried his face might look puffy from crying last night. now, under nj's dark stare…
jk doesn't feel anything but wanted.
"i can't believe how good you smell," nj breathes out, and jk can see in his expression how much he means it. "promise not to get freaked out if i talk about eating you."
jk laughs, the sound choked. "please. y- you can smell it, right?"
"how much i want you too?"
nj lets out a shaky breath, nodding. he leans close enough to tuck his nose back against jk's neck, lips rubbing dry kisses.
"smells like it's just for me."
"it is," jk says. before he can say more, nj is dragging his boxers down & off, his own too.
they're both hard, cocks swollen dark with it, but nj is—
he's big. jk stared pretty hard at nj's dick the night before, and he's absolutely certain that it's gotten bigger.
"wanna taste you," jk blurts out, wanting to reach down and touch but getting shy, uncertain. "hyung."
nj swears. he leans down and kisses jk hard, even harder when jk's lips part under his immediately.
somehow, the kiss has jk thinking clearer. like this slick pleasure of moving lips, sucking kisses, helps distract from the overwhelming scents. from the loud, greedy instincts.
"was that a yes?" jk finally asks, a soft mumble, and nj's lips stretch with a smile against jk's mouth.
"anything you want."
they switch places, nj lying back and jk settling over him, cautiously lowering his mouth to nj's chest.
"you can," nj laughs, fingers in jk's hair.
"you can kiss anywhere, it's not like—" nj swallows, cock bobbing when jk's lips close over a sensitive nipple. "it's not bad, when you rile me up, putting your mouth somewhere vulnerable. does that make sense?"
jk thinks it does. "does it make you want to put me in my place?"
nj's jaw clenches. "jk-ah."
a shiver work its way down jk's spine. he takes that as a yes.
nj is broad, warm, sensitive, his scent darker and heavier the closer jk gets to his groin. heady, fully intoxicating.
jk nuzzles his cheek against the length of nj's cock.
"you don't have to—"
"want your scent on me," jk whines, barely knowing what he's talking about but doing it anyway, finally dragging his lips over the flushed head of nj's cock. he kisses and suckles, laps sweetly over the slit to taste precum. something hot coils inside him.
the feeling is sweeter than the ache from before, the one that always felt too heavy in his chest.
this clenching heat inside him now feels like his body knows what it needs, and knows that he can finally have it. he takes nj's cockhead past his lips, mouth stretching for it,
and that heat throbs so impatiently deep inside him, knowing how good nj will feel when jk takes him the way he's been dreaming about.
nj's hips twitch, his fingers tightening in jk's hair. jk moans at the first shy tug, trying to take more of nj into his mouth, so full with it.
he pulls off and spit clings to the tip of nj's cock, so jk uses his hand to spread it down, feels the heated weight of nj in his grip.
nj's scent is so good down here. jk gets distracted nosing at the base of his cock, and has to be tugged away with a short laugh.
"you're big," jk whines - not a complaint - before he takes nj back into his mouth, fullfullfull, pink lips stretched. his head bobs, cheeks hollowing, until nj suddenly pulls him off with another sharp tug.
the sting of having his hair pulled makes slick gush from his hole.
"so good," nj pants, "it's actually too good, c'mere, wanna kiss you."
jk obediently moves up nj's body, stomach swooping when nj's hand holds the side of jk's neck as they kiss.
"love when you taste like me," nj growls, his other hand sliding down jk's back, sliding low, oh—
when nj's fingers brush between his cheeks, jk's legs try to spread wider on their own, his moan ragged.
"do you still want this?"
"please," jk gasps. nj presses two fingers inside and jk squeezes, heat sparking through him.
"how do you want to be bred, omega?"
"mm, what position. hands and knees? on your back? do you want to try riding me, huh, use your alpha however you want?"
jk shudders, overwhelmed imagining all of them. "b- bent over for you. want it deep," he adds, whining, and nj presses his fingers in harder just to tease.
"deep? you want to be sure it takes, huh?"
"hnngh," jk grunts, hips rocking back unsteadily, trying to fuck himself on nj's fingers. he accidentally meets nj's eyes and blushes at the naked want he sees there, how he knows it's for /him/. "alpha—"
"can't wait to make you cry."
jk blinks, eyes wide, lips parting at those words. nj moves his hand from cupping the side of jk's neck to tracing his lips. his thumb presses in, and jk meekly sucks at it.
"hyung will start slow, i won't hurt you," nj promises, "but then i'll make it so good for you, baby."
"i know how badly you want this. you've wanted it for so long, haven't you?"
jk's breath hitches. he blinks quickly, nose scrunching, but refuses to cry that easily. no matter how much his alpha wants to see it.
"please," he whispers, and nj's gaze softens.
it feels different, when jk settles onto his elbows and knees, thighs spreading with a shamelessness jk didn't know he could have with nj.
it feels good. jk's back arches, ass raised and cock jutting heavy beneath him, and all he can think is, it feels /right/.
"look at you."
jk doesn't have to turn back to know there's more precum beaded at the slit of nj's cock. he can smell it, and clenches up at the thought of it.
nj hums, petting over jk's presented ass, and says, "i didn't let myself picture this for so long. you dripping wet, eager for me."
jk's hips jump when nj's cock glides over his hole, just rubbing. teasing.
"but when i did… i thought i'd go crazy. i couldn't stop thinking about you. wanting to hear you beg for my knot."
"please give me your knot," jk mumbles, grinning when it makes nj laugh like he hoped.
"mm, close enough. can you even take something this big, omega?"
"p- please." and that one comes out genuine, soft with need. "alpha, please." nj starts to rub purposefully over his hole and jk whines, the muscle flexing.
"just gonna give you a little, shh, just the tip, baby."
jk, so pleasure-drunk on their scents, spread open and so ready for it, doesn't whine that he's fantasized about things so much rougher.
he thinks nj might even be teasing on purpose.
the blunt head of his cock presses slowly, searing pressure where jk is so sensitive and wet,
before it finally starts to sink inside.
jk moans, face buried in his arms, toes curling. nj works just that little bit inside, and then goes still. his hips twitch, shallow movement, but seconds pass of him not giving jk anything more.
"hyung," jk moans. it's not /enough/.
the heat inside him climbs, tightening already, tensing with how much he wants more. he tries to push back, and nj catches his waist, growling.
"hyung," jk hiccups out. "more. please, more."
"shh, it's okay," nj hushes him, finally feeding a little more inside.
the slow stretch makes jk pant, sweating, seeking comfort from nj's gentler scent still clinging to the sheet.
"there you go. it's too much to take all at once, baby."
jk knows nj was teasing, working him up, but— fuck. he's not wrong.
the fullness, the stretch… jk /aches/.
he feels it so heavy inside him, deep. tries to relax for it and ends up gasping out when nj leans over his body, when he holds jk so tightly that jk knows he'll have bruises in the shape of nj's fingers.
"so wet," nj grits out. "so hot inside, so tight for me, this sweet hole."
jk whines, eyes fluttering shut. nj's hips start to rock forward, keeping his thrusts deep, his mouth open over jk's back.
"jk-ah, baby, omega, can feel it." nj's voice is rough, breathier than it was before. "can feel my knot swelling for you. fuck, 's tight."
oh. his knot…
jk doesn't mean to, but he blurts out, "it won't fit."
nj just hums. "i won't hurt you."
but that's— worse, somehow, panic bursting inside jk's chest. "no! wah- want it, please, it's too big but i want it—"
"jk-ah," nj laughs. "you want to try taking it?"
"breed me," he sobs.
jk can feel the sting of tears in his eyes, how tightly the need is drawn up, how much it burns inside.
he doesn't try to touch his cock. he knows that if he does, he'll come too soon. he wants nj's permission first again…
"you have to let me in, baby, or i could hurt you."
the words are sweet, crooned close to jk's ear, but he knows nj is right. knows, even drowning in the scent of their arousal, their shared desire, that jk's body isn't used to this. it might be a /lot/ to take.
jk thinks about how taboo it is, how knots are seen as too rough,
too barbaric, too much for an innocent human's body to take—
and jk moans, knees sliding farther apart on the sheets.
"shh, there you go," nj says, pressing, that blunt pressure at his rim when jk already feels so full. "i'm gonna— jk-ah, just breathe for me," nj tells him,
and then he's tightly gripping the back of jk's neck, fingers pressing in firmly.
it feels like jk's whole body goes loose with one shudder, suddenly pliable and yielding as nj works the full size of the knot in.
jk shouts, a rough cry, and nj—
he doesn't stop thrusting.
the knot inside him is so big, so wide where it drags and shoves at his walls, and nj just keeps moving, fucking it into jk's body.
it's like teetering on the edge of orgasm and already being overstimulated. jk gasps, eyes wet with his tears, begging, "alpha, p- please, ah—"
"okay?" nj asks, the word so sincere even as jk's taken so roughly, so perfectly, that jk gasps out a laugh.
"okay. please, c-come inside me, 'm yours, please—"
nj growls, pace stuttering, his own desperation so thick in his scent that jk can taste it in the back of his throat.
"baby," nj groans, head dropping forward as his hips grind deep, "squeeze me like that, yeah, just— gonna fill you so well, get you so pregnant—"
"please," jk cries. he doesn't know any other words, just knows the ache inside him is twisted up, desperate for this. "a- ah, hnn."
"come for me," nj finally says, "come on my knot, omega."
and jk does.
it's bliss to let go. the blinding relief, how he feels it in his cock and his balls and his hole, clenching up so tight when nj starts to come too, spilling inside.
jk's gasps come out hiccupped, high.
he trembles after his orgasm has washed through him, left him spent and sweating, trying to catch his breath.
nj keeps coming. his knot throbs with it, enough that jk can feel it, can tell that nj is still spurting more inside him.
breeding him. oh— his alpha is filling him.
nj's hips twitch weakly, lips dragging wet over the back of jk's shoulders before pressing kisses there.
jk could purr at how good submitting feels, when nj's teeth nibble at the back of his neck.
"baby, okay?" nj asks, words mumbled but tinged with real concern.
it's a low sound, all sexual satisfaction, but nj gives him a scolding nip. (jk moans at that too.)
"okay," jk gasps back, knees shifting. he realizes, a little belatedly, that nj is truly locked in him, unable to pull out until the knot goes down.
and jk cries.
"jk-ah," nj says, a pout in his deep voice. "baby, hyung lied, don't cry."
"'s good," jk stutters between hitching breaths. "feels good. 's what i want, hyung."
"uh- uh huh."
"okay. i'll trust you. fuck, my tight little omega, what am i gonna do with you, huh?"
jk sighs, trying to calm his breaths as the tears dry up.
he's so comfy like this. he could really fall back asleep…
nj's hand slides under his belly, touching gently there. jk can't tell if there's a bulge from how much nj has spilled inside him or not, but nj murmurs,
"look how pregnant i got you, sweetheart."
jk whines, toes curling. "f- feels good."
"yeah? you like being bred by your alpha?"
"hnn. feels good for hyung too?" jk asks softly, and some of the roughness drops from nj's voice. there's something sweeter there when he answers,
"it's the best orgasm i've ever had. felt so, so good. i never thought…"
jk hums, encouraging him to go on.
"i never thought this is really something i could have. i resigned myself to that. but- but we're safe, and we did it, and it felt so good, huh?"
jk smiles dazedly.
"hyung." jk licks his lips. "a- after, can we eat something? 'm hungry."
nj huffs out a laugh. he doesn't sound particularly surprised. "yeah. we should shower first, though. fuck, can't wait to see how much i put in you."
"hyung," jk whines, cock stirring.
"ah, sorry, but really. i meant it. it has to be so much. i- i don't know if it's an alpha thing or just me, but god, i want to lick it from you too. sorry."
"oh." jk's face heats at the thought. "'s not bad."
"i want to be covered in your scent," jk admits softly.
"like— in the gross way."
nj noses curiously into the side of jk's neck. "like piss?"
jk's belly flips. "a- ah, no, not— at least i don't think— i meant cum. want it all over me."
"oh," nj answers. "damn."
jk laughs breathlessly. "i'm pretty sure that's an omega thing for me,
though," he adds, and nj hums, "oh, are you sure? that sounds like it's just something our maknae would want on his own, actually."
jk groans. "hyung—"
"call me alpha again. go on."
jk lets out a slow breath. makes his voice sweet before he says, "alpha feels so big in me."
nj's hips kick. jk has to bite his lip at how good it feels when the knot rubs inside his hole, maybe a little smaller now but still so deliriously thick, good to squeeze around.
"fuck," nj says. "okay, never mind, i might actually come again. god, knots are wild."
when nj can finally pull out - which involves a lot of gentle tugging that jk insists nj is doing to tease him on purpose, and nj insists he /isn't/ - they do shower and then eat some leftovers for breakfast.
everything feels different, now that jk can smell nj. his alpha.
now that nj can smell him too.
the scent claim lingers, and jk is embarrassed at how horny it makes him until nj confesses it's riling him up too, the way jk smells so overwhelmingly like /his/.
they grind together on the cabin's living room floor, and jk teases nj's knot,
squeezing around it with his hands as nj spills up his chest. less than before, but still a lot.
they have to wash up again after that, and then take a well-deserved nap.
the next two days are more of the same - sex, cuddling, the way they can't keep their hands off each other.
jk gets used to feeling nj's arms circle him from behind when he's standing in the kitchen, or even just brushing his teeth. gets used to having a nose tucked into his neck, a hand stroking his belly while nj playfully whispers, "yeobo, do you think you're knocked up yet?"
sj comes over at one point to drop off food while they're both in the bedroom - just kissing! - and shouts, "jk-ah, nj-ah, please get whatever this is out of your systems before we head back tomorrow! and answer hobi's texts!!"
jk sheepishly texts sj thanks for the food too.
the fact this has to end soon looms over both their heads on the last day.
it's— hard. to put it mildly.
jk cries more than once, and begs nj to fuck him as hard, as deep as nj possibly can.
nj doesn't argue. jk catches his eyes shining wetly too.
"this isn't the last time,"
nj promises him, kissing jk sweetly even with tears sticking in the back of jk's throat.
"there will be other vacations, other times we can safely try it. it's just another mask we have to wear for a while, but it's not forever."
jk knows. he does. but it still aches.
he clings to nj that last night, breathing in his scent as much as he can, committing it to memory. nj does the same.
when they wake up, they take their pills again. nj pulls jk into a tight hug, kissing his forehead before saying, "it'll be fine, baby. we'll be just fine."
jk nods, eyes sliding shut.
they head out to start loading up the cars and tae finds jk immediately, pulling him into a hug.
"oh, weird, you smell so much like nj-hyung," tae comments, and jk blinks. he pulls back.
"what does that mean?"
tae grins too brightly to be innocent.
"it means i know what our little jungkookie got up to the past couple of days."
jk freezes. "hyung—"
"did he tell you?" jm interrupts, hurrying over, gathering jk up into a hug. "oh, wow, you smell so much like nj-hyung."
"sorry, tell me what? what's going on? h- how can you—"
jk's breath catches. his eyes widen at them both. "how can you smell me?"
"you know how we've been given some more freedoms lately, because we're… well, bts," jm starts to explain slowly, and then tae blurts out,
"we're gonna tell management that we're going off suppressants!"
jk's mouth drops open in shock. nj has made his way over after hearing tae's shouting, looking confused, his eyes also wide.
"sorry, did you just say—"
"this was a trial run, kind of," tae interrupts. "we stopped taking our suppressants and we don't want to start again."
"we'll still take them for heats and ruts when we have to," jm adds, "otherwise it's too much asking to adjust schedules every month. but- but we want to stop. it won't affect our performing so why should we still be on them?"
jk's head is spinning. "you think it'll work…?"
tae pouts. "it might not. it's a risk. but we want to try."
"i support you," nj mumbles, and then he's suddenly enveloped in a vmin hug.
"i can't believe—" jk laughs. "we really secretly went off our pills at the same time."
jm laughs. "you too? really?"
"it wasn't secret,"
tae says. "we told jin-hyung in case he got sad we weren't playing with him."
jk is still reeling. he looks to nj, eyes big and hopeful, and nj ducks his head with a smile.
"can we try? hyung, if it's four of us asking… and the leader as well…"
"i don't know."
jk's chest twists, and nj quickly adds, "i don't know if it'll work. i don't want to get your hopes up. but we can try. i- i meant it, even if it was just jm and tae, i'd support it."
"i really want it," jk blurts out, eyes tearing up, and suddenly jm is cupping his face,
cooing, "jk-ah, it felt good, didn't it? experiencing that part of yourself?"
jk nods, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes.
"we'll try," nj repeats, drawing jk close to his chest, and tae breathes out, "oh."
jm turns to him. "hm?"
"jm-ah, i think it wasn't just fun, for them."
"ohh," jm says, and jk huffs out a watery laugh at their dumb commentary.
"ah, stop it."
"c'mon, it's cold, let's stop making the staff wait. we'll plan more at home, okay?"
jk nods, and they part ways. before he can disappear into his car, though, nj pulls him behind a tree.
jk grins crookedly. "is this the part where we run away to live in the woods together?"
nj returns the smile, but his eyes are serious. "i just needed to say. no matter what happens with the company, jk-ah, you mean everything to me. not- not just as an omega. but you."
jk can feel how his lower lip wants to tremble. "i- i know. it's the same for me, hyung."
"okay. good. i just needed you to know that. i, ah." nj smiles again. shyer. "i love you so much. i really do."
warmth bursts inside jk, even if the words aren't a shock. "i love you too."
"you never have to be ashamed of any of this again, okay? none of it. i'm here for you."
jk exhales shakily, nodding, and then steps forward to kiss nj's forehead, just because nj isn't expecting it.
"i know that now. thank you."
"i really hope they say yes," nj blurts out,
and jk can hear in his voice how uncertain he is. there's excitement, of course, enough to lift their spirits again after a bleak morning, but there's also fear. nj wants it badly. he also knows how risky it is to ask for.
jk draws nj into a hug, and mumbles, "i hope so too."
(it takes weeks, but they do get permission. they decide to go off suppressants as a group, and when jk is allowed to have a heat - his first - tae helps him make a nest, and then leaves him with a nuzzle when jk's eyes get fever-bright,
"have fun with your alpha, jk-ah.")