Did Taehyung not realize what kind of a Bastard this guy was? How could he be so reckless? There was no one here. He hadn't told anyone where he was going or who he was with.
What if something had happened?
"I'm not a child." Taehyung was saying shakily.
"I can decide for myself where to go and who to go with." He was glaring at him now, " You were supposed to be at a photoshoot and I had nothing else to do. Hyunsik offered to take pictures of me and I just-"
"Stay away from him. " Jungkook growled, moving to stand in front of
Taehyung, glaring at the other alpha who looked amused.
"No can do. Taehyung agreed to come shoot with me this weekend at the beach." He grinned, " Right beautiful?"
"What the fuck?" Jungkook turned to Tae who was chewing on his bottom lip.
"Have you lost your fucking mind?"
"No I haven't. Have you?" the omega snapped back making him bristle.
He turned to Hyunsik, breathing deeply, eyes narrowed in warning.
"You need to take several steps back. Your petty rivalry with me ends within these walls. You don't get to drag him into it."
"Not everything is about hou Jungkook." Hyunsik said softly, crossing his arms and glaring at him. " Your husband told me you've never taken pictures of him and he was curious how a professional photographer works. I was merely showing him how. " He shook his head in disbelief.
"It really makes me wonder, what else you haven't shown him" he smirked. "maybe I could do it instead, right Taehyung? I bet you would enjoy it more with me."
"We're leaving." Jungkook snapped grabbing Taehyung's wrist and tugging him out of the room , his steps fast and sure .
The omega stumbled a little as he pulled him along to the elevators, his mind reeling from annoyance. As soon as they stepped into the elevator he rounded on Taehyung.
"What the hell were you thinking, Taehyung?" he roared, making the omega flinch.
"He's a stranger... an alpha at that... Amd he asks you to come with him to. deserted corridor? You just go? Without letting anyone else know?"
Taehyung bit his lips at that.
" He works with you. He's not some guy i met on the streets! And I told you he said he wanted to
take pictures of me and I-"
"Pictures!!" Jungkook scoffed in disbelief. " Are you ten?! Have you never had your picture taken? Is that what you dressed up today for?" he shook his head, " You're unbelievable."
Taehyung looked down at his feet , fists clenched.
"Its so reckless. I can't understand why you would do such a thing, Taehyung. He's not a good man and he just wants to get back at me in any way possible! The fact that you're my husband is why he's doing this and I wish you would -"
"I just wanted to know more about you."
Jungkook froze, the words registering but not quite making sense.
Taehyung was looking away but there was no missing the sheen of wetness over his eyes.
"I just wanted to know more about what you did. About being a photographer." he whispered.
There was a dull roaring in Jungkook's ears, a fist made of iron closing around his heart and squeezing. He felt his mouth go dry, the breath catching in his lungs as Taehyung's worda slowly sank in.
"I wanna go home, now. I'm done."
Jungkook felt like his heart had dropped straight to his knees, his skin burning with regret. He wasn't sure why the sight of Taehyung upset, suddenly felt so ...wrong. He wanted to
apologize but the words burned like acid on his tongue.
"You.. You could have asked me."
"when? When you were chatting with your boyfriend?"
"You know what, Hyunsik is right. You're so full of yourself you can't fathom that mot everything is about you." Taehyung shook his head.
The alpha stayed quiet .
"He's bad news."
Taehyung turned to him with a somber look on his face.
"He made me smile more times in an hour, than you did in the entire length of our marriage. He's already better than you as far as I'm concerned." he said sharply.
Jungkook swallowed, jaw going taut.
Taehyung stepped out of the elevator, ignoring him completely and stalking to the cafeteria. A few minutes later he came out with his bag and his phone
Jungkook stood still , but the omega didn't come to him.
Instead he merely glared at him before walking out of the office.
( Authors Note: Am tired There's more but I can't do this for a while. I need a break possibly for two to three business days. bye )
Taehyung found himself at the gates of his school at half past four that evening. The idea of going home to his mother was decidedly unappealing. She would want to hear all about his lunch, about Jungkook and about a million other things. He was too hurt,
too exhausted to do any of that. There was a lump of emotion clogging his throat. Every few minutes he found himself fighting tears. Why was Jungkook so...so cruel to him? Why did he treat him like a nuisance? Like an errant child? Taehyung knew following Hyunsik wasn't
a very great idea. But he had done it quite innocently. Jungkook made it sound like he'd tried to deliberately mess things up. On purpose. Why was Jungkook always so ready to believe the worst about him. Why was Taehyung always guilty until proven innocent and not the other
He sighed, leaning against the wrought iron gates and staring at his shoes. He wasn't sure what he'd wanted, when he had sat down to pose. Perhaps to feel beautiful? To be complimented? Taehyung couldn't remember the last time someone had called him gorgeous.
Hyungsik had used that word generously. Gorgeous. Tilt your face a bit, wow. Breathtaking. Lower your gaze, thats just lovely. You're gorgeous.
Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.
After the seventh time, Taehyung had actually started believing him. Had started feeling gorgeous.
And then Jungkook had turned up and all Taehyung felt was guilty and terrible. He sighed, running a hand over his face. Perhaps, it was because of what had happened between them. Guilt was the default emotion he felt whenever he was faced with Jungkook. Guilt, self pity, despair.
Sitting on that chair, with the lights on him, and the compliments pouring in, Taehyung had felt invincible for a few minutes. Untouchable in many ways. For a few minutes he had imagined Jungkook behind the camera.
"A good photographer falls in love with his model."
Hyunsik had said that with a mischievous glint in his eye. Taehyung had laughed it off but the words had settled in the pit of his stomach.
Because all he could think of was Jungkook taking photographs of Min Yoongi.
Was that why they came out so well?
Because he was in love?
"Taehyung ssi?" A familiar voice said right behind him and Taehyung jumped a little, eyes wide and just a little panicked. He turned around only to find himself face to face with a smiling Kim Seokjin, peering out of his car window.
"Seokjin ssi.." he bowed.
"Ah, you had taken the day off today hadn't you? What are you doing here?" the principal asked, looking curious and just a little worried. Taehyung suddenly felt very foolish. He shuffled awkwardly, managing a small smile.
"I got bored at home and just wandered here..." he said.
Seokjin looked endeared for some reason. He nodded in understanding.
"I guess that's what happens when you don't have much of a social life. " He said bluntly, amd Taehyung turned red. " Oh, i didn't mean any offense Taehyung ssi. I'm also much the same way. Home and school ."
Taehyung looked around and bowed again.
"I'll let you carry on now, Seokj-"
"Are you free for the evening? I have no plans to go home early today. I was actually craving some spicy fish cakes. And maybe some ribs." Seokjin said brightly.
"Unless you would rather go home." Seokjin said quickly. " You don't have to come. Its not... I'm not trying to force you to accompany me".
Taehyung laughed at how nervous the alpha sounded. Home was very unappealing. With his mother breathing down his neck.
Taehyung shuffled over to the other side, climbing into the passenger side of the nice car. He settled in quickly and reached for the seatbelt but it wouldn't come down past his shoulder.
"Oh, let me help" Seokjin unbuckled himself before leaning over him,
his chest leaning into Taehyung's own and the soft downy fluff of his chestnut hair tickling the underside of his chin. Taehyung held his breath as the sweet, soothing scent of almonds and rich chocolate hit his senses. Seokjin smelled very nice, he realised.
Taehyung stayed perfectly still as Seokjin tugged the belt into uts slot till it clicked into place. The alpha gave him another bright grin before moving away.
"I don't drink much beer. Soju is what I enjoy. Would you join me?"he asked casually.
Taehyung was not fond of either.
But he nodded nonetheless not wanting to seem picky or demanding. Seokjin was his boss after all. He played with the small tassels that hung from his bag, debating if he should message Jungkook about his whereabouts. But when he pulled his phone out, it had run out of power.
Well, not like Jungkook would even notice him gone. These days the alpha came home pretty late And it was barely five. He would be home by seven. He could manage that.
"Are you familiar with any good food stalls around here?" Seokjin asked worriedly and Taehyung grinned.
He had spent many a weekend walking around eating his weight in street food , while mourning his miserable marriage. He knew just the right places they could go to.
"Let me show you a whole new world, Seokjin ssi." he said with a wide grin.
The alpha stared at him in surprise.
"I always forget how beautiful you are." he blurted out and Taehyung flushed, embarassed.
He looked away and when he glanced back, Seokjins ears were red as a beet.
"I.. Thank you ." he said bashful and Seokjin cleared his throat.
"Lead the way then."
Taehyung was drunk.
Not blackout drunk, but well on the way to the point where he would lose all filter and say something very stupid. Like how he was madly in love with Jungkook while Jungkook couldn't stand the sight of him.
Seokjin looked genuinely worried as he helped him
into the cab. They had had a good evening, Taehyung thought miserably. Seokjin was kind and entertaining and had a lot of nice stories to tell.He talked about his family, his pet gliders, his love for cooking. He also asked Tae questions about himself.
It was like a nice date.
Except it wasn't. Not really. Seokjin was just being kind to him. He probably felt sorry for him, standing there loitering around the school even on his day off. Did it get more pathetic than that? Taehyung curled up against the far end of the cab, knees drawn to hus chin.
"I called Jungkook." Seokjin was saying, " He said he's waiting in the parking lot. He'll pay for the cab and get you home safe."
Taehyung nodded, head aching and swimming at the same time. He felt good but also terrible. Good because it didn't hurt. Terrible because he knew
he would regret this in the morning. And Jungkook?
There was no telling what Jungkook would do to him tonight. He had likely sent his entire family into a panic.
"What time is it?" he mumbled weakly.
"A quarter to eleven." Seokjin said regretfully.
Taehyung wanted to cry.
He nodded absently and buried his face between his knees, exhausted. Sniffling he waved shakily as the cab pulled away from the curb.
Jungkook would yell at him. Call him an irresponsible, selfish person. He would tell him how Taehyung was the reason he was miserable.
Taehyung burrowed into the corner even more feeling worse with each passing second.
As the cab began slowing down, his pulse began racing just a bit, a steady amount of dread pooling at the base of his stomach, bile tasting bitter on his tongue.
He was in for it, tonight.
When the cab finally pulled to a stop. Taehyung screwed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around himself really tight. He heard Jungkook's voice calm and steady, talking to the cab driver and shivered a bit. When a gentle hand lightly touched his shoulder, he jumped.
Taehyung didnt move or breathe. he stayed completely still.
"Taehyung, come out." Jungkook sounded stern.
Taehyung bit his lips, shaking his head.
A few seconds later, the door he was curled up against opened and with a yelp, the omega toppled right into the arms of the alpha.
Taehyung's eyes flew open in shock, his body barely registering what was happening. Jungkook had him lifted up against his chest like he weighed nothing, barely even looking at him, as be kicked the car door shut again.
"Hold onto me or you'll fall." The alpha said quietly.
Taehyung who had sobered up just from the shock of Jungkook's arms around him could barely move his limbs. It took a lot of effort to move his arms up and around Jungkook's shoulders, clinging to him with a desperate grip.
As the cab drove away, Jungkook began walking slowly.
Through the haze of his intoxication, Taehyung registered that although it was almost midnight, Jungkook was still in his office clothes.
"Didn't you... Didn't you go home?" he asked in confusion.
The alpha sighed.
"I told your mother we're spending the night at a hotel."
Taehyung felt like he bad been hit over the head with a hammer. Or perhaps he had fallen into a pothole and woken up in another dimension.
"I... You did?" He blinked. " Why?"
Jungkook didn't respond, carrying him over to his own car and placing him carefully in the back seat.
Jungkook reached over him grabbing a couple of throw pillows from the side and placing them against the door.
"Lie down. There's plenty of room, you can stretch your legs out. " He said carefully.
Tae stayed frozen.
"Because I had no idea where you were."
He gently pushed him by the shoulder prompting him to lie down. Taehyung curled up against the expensive leather seats, feeling his gut churn.
"You weren't picking my calls and I didn't want to go up to her and tell her I lost her son." he muttered." I waited for you in my car."
"In the parking lot?" Taehyung whispered, voice small and shaky.
"I figured youd turn up eventually and we could go in together. But then after it turned eight, I told her we were having a wine dinner and couldn't drive so we would stay out at a hotel."
Taehyung closed his eyes, relief flooding his senses.
"Thank you." he breathed shakily, " I'm so sorry..."
"Its fine Taehyung. You were with a friend so thats fine. But maybe next time you could use his phone and just text me . Just so I know you're alright."
"There won't be a next time!" Taehyung said rushedly. "I promise. I swear it. I'll never do something like this again. I swear and I promise and I will never.." Taehyung frowned," What was I promising again?"
Something that sounded suspiciously like a laugh made Taehyung blink.
He turned around, still a little groggy, trying to listen for it again, but Jungkook cleared his throat. A second later the car came to life under his touch and Taehyung groaned a little, settling into the seat again.
He gripped the edge of the seat to keep himself from rolling off into the footwell, hating himself for the terrible choices he’d made.
“Do you want some fresh air?” Jungkook’s voice made him blink again.
“Sit up, if lying down is uncomfortable. I’ll crack open the window and you’ll feel a bit better.” The alpha said briskly. Taehyung considered it and nodded, levering himself up with some difficulty.
He blinked as the window slid down, crisp cool air blowing into his face right after. He blinked against the breeze, immediately feeling better.
“There’s a bottle of water in the side. Finish it.” Jungkook turned down an alleyway
and past a few sidelanes before merging into Seoul’s late night traffic on the freeway. Where were they going?
Taehyung fumbled around for a few seconds before finally finding the bottle. He uncapped it before wrapping his lips around the mouth of it,
gulping it all down very quickly. He gripped the bottle, eyes shut against the night wind, the chill of it sobering him up slowly.
Jungkook stayed quiet for the rest of the ride, and by the time they reached the hotel ,
an expensive, high rise affair right on the banks of the Han, Taehyung was wide awake and filled with regrets and trepidation.
He briefly considered just acting drunk again but when Jungkook came around to open the door, looking completely exhausted and tired,
all he could feel was a crushing guilt.
“I’m sorry.” He said again when the alpha held a hand out. “ My phone turned off and –“
Jungkook crouched down, leaning into him till their faces were just inches apart, and when the alpha’s hand moved to lightly touch his hip,
Taehyung realized he was trying to lift him up again. He quickly held both hands up, gripping the alpha’s broad shoulders. Jungkook’s gaze shifted to his and Taehyung swallowed.
He stared for a few seconds, because he’d never seen Jungkook this close. He looked so ethereal, here in the golden glow from the streetlights with the wind playing around with his dark hair.
“I can walk.” He said softly.
Taehyung watched as Jungkook pulled his hand away, resting it on his knee for a second and the omega flinched, reaching out and gripping Jungkook’s wrist hard.
“What is this?” He asked, horrified, eyeing the rough abrasions on the fist.
There was bruising all over the knuckles, little pin pricks of purple under the translucent skin, where Jungkook had clearly bled, as if he had punched some-
Taehyung stared up at him in disbelief.
“Did you punch him?!”
Jungkook hesitated, before pulling back and away, stepping out of the way and holding the car door open for him. Taehyung took a few deep breaths to gather his senses before slowly getting out of the car.
He gripped the roof of the car and when Jungkook made to close the door he grabbed his arm again.
“Why?” He demanded. “ Why would you punch him?”
Jungkook stared back at him before turning away.
“Get your bag.” Jungkook said softly, tugging his arm away.
Taehyung watched as he moved to the back of the car, getting his bag out of the boot. He swallowed, wanting to know more.
“Nothing happened.” He said urgently. “ It was just a few pictures and-“
“Taehyung.” Jungkook said softly. “ Can we go in?” He pointed at the Hotel.
Taehyung bit his lips.
"You didn't have to -"
“ I paid a lot of money for the room. I asked them to keep a set of clothes ready for us. I spent six hours sitting in a car not knowing where you were. Debating whether I should call the fucking cops or not. I’m exhausted.
And while I understand that you want to call me a bastard for punching a guy who deserved it, I’m too tired to fight. Let’s just get this night over with. Please. I’m begging you. Please let's just go in. ”
The room was a large suite, with a living space and a larger bedroom inside. Taehyung saw the complimentary wine, the fresh flowers and the soft lighting, feeling tacky and out of place in front of such grandeur.
Large glass walls opened out into a balcony and then an infinity pool beyond . Far off the Seoul skyline lit up like a jewel encrusted necklace draped over a starry black sky.
Taehyung watched as Jungkook made a beeline for the bedroom,
returning a minute later with two large shopping bags with a popular brand written on it.
“Here. I think these should fit you.” He held the bag out and Taehyung hesitated before making his way over and taking the bags.
He peered in, seeing a brand new set of sleepwear, a small bag full of toiletries as well. He glanced up at Jungkook intrigued.
“They bought all this?”
“I called in a favor. I did the marketing campaign for this particular chain of Hotels.” Jungkook said with a shrug.
“ I’ll take the bathroom over here. You can use the en suite.”
The shower did wonders for Taehyung's tired body and by the time Taehyung came out, hair damp and wearing what had to be the softest clothes on the planet, he felt very relaxed and sated.
He found Jungkook out in the balcony, wearing a matching set of PJs and stopped for a second just to watch the alpha.
Jungkook had his camera out, focused on the breathtaking view, occasionally taking pictures before pausing to stare at the landscape.
He wasn’t sure if he should go bother him, hovering by the door uncertainly. He finally decided just to go to bed, but the moment he turned around Jungkook’s voice broke the stillness of the night.
“Do you want to see the pictures Hyunsik took of you?”
The omega wasn’t sure if it was some kind of a trick question. Was Jungkook angry? Being sarcastic? Was he trying to pick a fight? Hyungsik had given him his number and had taken his mail id as well. He had promised to send the pictures to him once he was done editing them.
“Why…” He swallowed, “ do you have them?”
Jungkook turned around then, catching his eye through the glass doors. He leaned over a side table grabbing a large brown envelope and waving it at him.
“Figured, I’d save you the trouble of meeting that bastard again.” Jungkook shrugged. “ Here.”
He held the envelope out.
Taehyung hesitated before slowly picking his way out to the balcony. It was cold out there and he shivered a bit as he made his way over to the alpha.
Jungkook didn’t say anything as he handed the pictures over to him and Taehyung felt awkward, holding the envelope and just staring at him.
“Thank you.” He said stiltedly and Jungkook didn’t respond, merely nodding at the envelope.
“Don’t thank me. First see if you like them.”
Taehyung stared down at the envelop and then back up at his husband. He frowned, confused.
“Now?” He swallowed. “ With you?”
“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Jungkook tilted his head, “ are they photographs other can’t see?”
“What?” He blinked. “ Of course not , what are you-“
“Relax.” Jungkook smiled a little. “ I was the one who printed them out for you. I saw them already.”
Taehyung felt an odd sense of foreboding as he stared down at the envelope.
"Can I just check them out later." He said meekly, his nerves frayed already and Jungkook rolled his eyes before reaching out and snatching the envelope back.
"Just look at them, Taehyung."
He pulled out the prints and handed them over to him.
Taehyung flinched but took them nonetheless.
The first shot was him sitting on the stool turned sideways, looking away from the camera.
It was nice.
Jungkook moved to stand behind him.
"The angle is off." he said
casually, hand comming over his arms to point at his face. " See here? The lights casts a shadow on your jawline. It doesn't set it off. " Taehyung jumped when Jungkook's forefinger moved to touch his actual jaw, running down the length of it gently. "You have a lovely
bone structure." he muttered, lips right by the side of his face. " If he had shifted the camera just a bit to the right, the photo would have been breathtaking. But he's an idiot , too busy trying to piss me off to realize what a photogenic person you are. So he fucked up."
Taehyung blinked rapidly, face burning from where Jungkook had just caressed him, and heart racing from what he had just said. Photogenic? Lovely bone structure?
Was this another god forsaken dream?
Before he could scream, Jungkook reached over and took the next print out.
This was Taehyung laughing, head thrown back, eyes scrunched shut. He remembered exactly why he had been laughing. Hyunsik had been talking about his niece who liked stealing shampoo from the bathroom and pouring it over her mother whenever she was sleeping.
He looked happy.
Jungkook was quiet behind him. He cleared his throat, sneaking a glance at the alpha who was staring at the photo with an unreadable look on his face.
"Its nice. " Taehyung said hesitantly and Jungkook cleared his throat.
"Your face does all the work. " he grunted.
Taehyung moved to take the next print out and froze.
It was a close up of his face, just his lips and his nose, fingers resting on his lower lip, tugging the fold gently. He felt his mouth go dry a bit, because this looked sensual. Sexy.
And he certainly hadn't posed for it.
No Hyunsik had likely taken this while he was talking casually. It was a habit he had , playing with his lips sometimes while talking.
The photo looked just on the border of obscene and Taehyung felt mildly ill.
" He put that up in his office.And that's why I punched him."
Taehyung slid the photo back in and turned, but Jungkook took a few steps back.
"I have a friend." he said stiltedly. " His name is Yugyeom. He won the best editorial photographer of the year award , last year. Pick out a theme and an outfit. He'll make sure to do a great job."
"I'm going to go sleep now. I have a photoshoot out of town tomorrow. I won't be back for a few days. I need to leave early."
"In about three hours actually." Jungkook sighed.
Taehyung stared in disbelief.
"Not everyone is trustworthy."
Taehyung stared down at his feet.
"Hyunsik was involved in a lot of stalking cases a few years ago. I didn't want him in my department but his uncle owns shares in the company. He wanted my job but now he works for me technically. You can see why he hates me. So, Block him. "
" And if you get drunk again tell your drinking buddy to drop you off instead of putting you in a cab all by yourself. Not everyone can be trusted." Jungkook said sharply.
Taehyung bit his lips.
The alpha went back in quietly.
Tae stared after him before turning back to the envelope in his hand. Sniffling just a little, he took the envelope, making his way over to the small trash can in the corner of the balcony. He dropped it in , closing the lid shut.
What a beautiful night, he thought miserably.
=====End of Chapter 3 =====
( Authors Note: So the fic is at 22k.words. I won't be updating this till I am perfectly happy with what I have planned so don't ask me when. Please be patient and let me go at my own pace. You can support me on Kofi of you enjoy my work)ko-fi.com/shynloveswriti…
As an alpha, Jungkook on most nights craved intimacy on a raw and primal level. He wasn't built, biologically to be celibate. But despite being an alpha with a high libido, Jungkook had only ever been with one person. He had for years craved intimacy only with
Yoongi, a gentle kind of intimacy. It was genuine, a love driven need. He loved Yoongi, deeply and wholly, so he had wanted to make love to him. To hold him close, whisper endearments against his skin, make him feel loved and cherished and protected. He had wanted him in the way
An alpha would want a mate. Honest and honorable in a way, with the best of intentions. That was the kind of attraction he was used to. That was the kind of attraction he was comfortable with.
But about six months into his marriage, Jungkook had become aware of another,
kind of attraction, one that he felt for his unwanted husband. Taehyung was, there was no denying it really, very beautiful. And Jungkook as a photographer, was a connoisseur of beauty. He chased it, captured it for a living. How could he possibly pretend that he wasn't attracted
To the damned omega.
He couldn't and there were nights when no matter how much he touched himself, thinking of the man in his heart, he ended up reaching his pleasure while thinking of the man in the room next door. On those nights he was riddled with guilt and self loathing.
Because no matter how much he wanted to blame Taehyung for this, he knew it wasn't the Omega's fault in any way or form. It was Jungkooks wretched body that refused to understand that he was off limits.
The one omega in the world he would never bring himself to touch willingly.
Jungkook stared at the envelope in front of him, feeling, for lack of a better word, guilty and confused. He wasn't sure why he had behaved the way he had, with Hyunsik and later with Tae as well. The feeling of guilt returned when he remembered how Taehyung had looked,
When he had mentioned that not everyone was trustworthy. He had made the comment at face value, referring to Hyunsik, but when he thought of the hurt on Taehyung's face, he couldn't help but wonder if the omega had thought he was talking about someone else.
Perhaps Tae himself.
Jungkook opened the envelope tugging the photo out. It was the close up shot of Taehyung's lips and fingers. He remembered how mad he had gotten at the sight of it, how he hadn't quite waited for an excuse or an explanation, stalking over and punching Hyunsik in the face .
The look of stunned surprise on everyone's faces, the hushed whispers and the wide eyes. The disbelief hanging heavy in the air at the sight of him nursing his own fist while Hyunsik lay on the floor, clutching his jaw in pain.
He had never punched anyone in his life.
He remembered a very vivid argument with Yoongi once, when they were dating. There had been a party, and Yoongi had insisted they attend, although both of them weren't fond of social gatherings. Yoongi had to keep the connections he insisted and so they had gone.
Someone had hit on Yoongi and the omega had curled up against Jungkooks side, throwing vicious glares at the other alpha. Jungkook had told the guy to read the room and respect people's boundaries and had turned away. That had been that.
Later that night, Yoongi had been angry.
"Why didn't you punch him? " He had demanded, pushing him by the shoulders and Jungkook had just stood there, at a loss for words. He could see that Yoongi was upset, but he couldn't for the life of him, understand why.
Because the answer to that question was simple.
Jungkook hadn't punched him because he hadn't wanted to. At no point had his blood turned hot with anger, his breath turning into fire in his lungs, burning with the need to scorch the guy into ashes. His fists hadn't clenched in fury, and his feet hadn't moved against his will.
" You're not worth the trouble you come wrapped in, Kim Taehyung. " He muttered, running a forefinger over the curve of the jaw. He remembered how smooth Taehyung's skin had felt against his fingertips earlier. He was so thin, he thought, carrying him had been like carrying wool.
His head hurt.
The clock on the mantle read seven thirty. Taehyung was in the other room, sound asleep. Jungkook had changed back into his shirt and trousers, and had come out to the balcony for some fresh air before leaving. He had seen the envelope in the trash.
A sharp pang of guilt had lanced his heart at that. Fuck, he hadn't meant for the omega to throw all the pictures away. They weren't bad.
Of course he could do so much better, but they weren't bad. And he certainly didn't want to deliberately ruin something Taehyung wanted.
He carefully placed the photographs back in his briefcase . Because if he left them in the garbage bag someone else would find them and it would be awkward. Yes, that's why he was doing this.
He sighed before stepping out of his bedroom, closing the door carefully without noise.
His feet paused in front of the door leading to Taehyung's room. He leaned in, listening for any sound but only the gentle hum of the air conditioner greeted him. The omega was deep asleep, likely exhaust and maybe even a little hungover. His eyes fell on the bottle of water, by
the table and he licked his lips, fingers trembling a bit. He felt jittery and nervous willing himself to keep walking but he couldn't.
His mother, he told himself firmly. His mother would be upset if Taehyung came home with a hangover and then all the lying would got to waste.
He couldn't let that happen now, could he? Jungkook moved to grab the bottle of water, uncapping it slowly before grabbing the phone on the table.
"Get me some hangover medicine. I'm at the Royal Suite. " He said briskly before hanging up.
He moved to the door, pushing it open.
At first the bed looked empty, the omega curled into a ball in a corner under the thick coverlet and quilt . He felt his nostrils flare at the scent, the sweet comfort of it momentarily bowling him over in its intensity. He took a few deep calming breaths before reaching the bed.
When he pulled the coverlet back, just enough to reveal Taehyung's face, his body jolted in surprise.
Taehyung lay on his side, hands drawn up to his face, fore and middle finger resting on his plush lower lip, mouth gently parted enough to show the white of his teeth.
The pose was so eerily reminiscent of that damned photograph that he couldn't help but stare, eyes taking in the soft downy brown hair, falling into his eyes. There was a scattering of moles, on his eyes the curve of his lips, over his brows . He hadn't seen those before.
They hadn't been there in the photograph. Another spark of irrational anger shot through him. Hyunsik had no bloody right to edit out those moles. He had no fucking right to-
He startled, recoiling in shock as Taehyung's wide brown eyes blinked up at him.
The omega had woken up.
And then his eyes fell on his hand, resting gently on the mole right by Taehyung's lips. He had been tracing the beauty spots with his fingers, without even realizing it. His touch had woken Taehyung up out of his sleep.
He pulled his hand away.
( a/n : this tweet will be deleted. I'm stopping here today because there's a lot of drama heading your way and i need to make it more angsty I'll be back tomorrow at the same time)
Taehyung felt a bit like he was underwater, blinking back the cobwebs of sleep as they clung to his vision, hands furling and unfurling under the sheets as he tried to get his bearings. There had been a vague sort of dream.
A monarch butterfly, large and majestic, fluttering around him as he stood in a lush, flowered meadow, the beautiful thing moving close to his face, resting every once in a while, first on his eyes, then on the curve of his lips and then over his brows.
The touch of the featherlight wings against his lips felt so real, his body responded to it. The soft gentle touch against the plush folds rousing him out of his sleep and when he blinked awake, the last thing he expected was to see Jungkook,
hovering over him , hands lingering over his face. He stared, confused, mouth dry and tasting awful from the alcohol the previous night. His limbs ached and there was a very heavy air of exhaustion on his muscles. He was so tired. What time was it?
“Jungkook?” He croaked out and the gentle finger against his face drew away. He turned his head slightly, looking askance at the alpha who was staring at him like he had seen a ghost.
“ I… You… You were talking in your sleep.” Jungkook said quietly and Taehyung frowned.
Really? He had never done that before in his life.
“I was?” He shook his head, groaning a little when the movement sent sharp shards of pain shooting up his skull. “what did I say?”
Jungkook looked away , scratching the back of his head.
“I don’t know but it sounded like you were calling for me. I was on my way out, actually. I heard you and just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Great. Now he was bothering Jungkook even while asleep. Taehyung felt a chill run up his skin.
He groaned, rubbing his palm over his face and shifting away from the alpha’s side, a dull sense of guilt pervading his insides when he remembered the events of the previous night.
He had made things so difficult for Jungkook with his irresponsible actions, a pattern in their entire relationships. Would there ever be a day when Kim Taehyung did not cause pain in some form to the people he cared about?
He wanted to crawl back into the bed and never emerge back.
“You don’t hold your liquor well, do you?” Jungkook asked slowly. “ I remember you got sick on the night of our engagement as well.”
There had been an unspoken rule between them, where they didn’t talk about the past or anything that happened then. He was sure of it, because he had stuck to it quite faithfully. Their engagement? That had been … quite a while ago and well, Taehyung didn’t remember much of it.
Except Jungkook was right. He had been forced to ‘ celebrate ‘ by drinking with a lot of people and had ended up sick for a few days. How did Jungkook know?
He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
So he shrugged, passing over the remark about their engagement.
“I don’t enjoy alcohol and maybe that’s why I never built a tolerance for it. I like tea. Chamomile tea. When I was around twelve I spent a few months in Japan with my father’s family and they taught me about the art of brewing tea. ”
Taehyung stopped talking abruptly, mind finally sobering up enough to remind him who he was talking to. Jungkook who possibly wanted to leave as soon as possible. And here Taehyung was revealing secret details about himself to a man who loathed him completely.
Why did he say that, anyway? That was an intimate part of him, a detail not many people knew, except for the ones he loved dearly. Jungkook wasn't the kind of person he should be sharing parts of himself with.The alpha couldn't be trusted with those precious aspects of his being.
He looked away, hands fumbling for his phone. He had to call in sick today as well, he thought miserably. His work was always a welcome distraction. Anytime he didn't go in, which wasn't often, he felt empty and miserable. And today would be spent with his mother. Oh, God.
"I'm going to Jeju Do. For two weeks. " Jungkook said suddenly and he paused in the middle of grabbing his phone from under his pillow.
"What? " He frowned, confused why Jungkook was telling him this. He had already told him he was going away. What did it matter where?
"In case your mother asks. " Jungkook said stilted, and Taehyung nodded, glum. Right. His mother. The only one he could call his family. His mother who was dying and so deserved happiness although she had done nothing to earn it. Because she was dying, Taehyung would lie for her.
He remembered how it had felt the previous day, watching Jungkook and Yoongi talking. There was an intimacy there even though they were just talking. An air of two people who knew and cared for each other. It wasn't something you could fake. Why was he trying to?
His mother had never truly.... Been there for him. He remembered how vindictive and happy she had looked when rumors had begun about Jungkook and Taehyung. He remembered how she had preened at the thought of landing a rich, handsome son in law. She hadn't cared about him.
But here he was lying on the cold sheets of some hotel room, head pounding and body aching, feeling apologetic just for existing.
It didn't seem fair.
"Let's just tell her the truth. " He said softly, before looking up at the alpha. " Let's tell her the truth about us. "
"I... What? " Jungkook was staring at jim like he had grown an extra head. Taehyung shook his head, tugging the covers up to his chin. He stared at the alpha, holding his gaze.
"Her and everyone else. Let's just tell them the truth and end this godawful farce of a marriage. "
"No." Jungkook said shakily. " We're not doing that. "
Taehyung scoffed, looking away.
"Right... I don't know why I thought for even a second that you would care at all about what I feel or want. " He whispered, burying his face in his arms.
"We have a deal, Taehyung."
"You agreed to this. Your mother is-"
"You do realize she's the reason you're stuck with me. " He said sharply. " Don't you remember how she screamed at your parents to take responsibility, all those years ago? You should be glad she's dying. " He spat out, eyes burning.
"It's not just about you. " Jungkook yelled. " Great, you hate your mother. Good for you. Did you forget I have parents too? And unlike you, I care about them. I will not hurt them anymore than I already have. I'm not going to walk up to them and tell them I'm getting a divorce."
"You will have to eventually. " He pointes out. " Six months remember. This ends in six months. "
Jungkook crossed his arms, staring at him.
"And I will. Slowly. I won't dump it on them with no warning. I don't want them to know I was unhappy. They will
Blame themselves and I cannot allow that to happen. You're not the only one in this godawful farce of a marriage, Taehyung. But you are the fucking reason for it. Your mother isn't to blame. You are! "
Taehyung screwed his eyes shut.
Back on square one, he thought shakily.
After a few seconds of silence, Jungkook exhaled sharply. Taehyung stayed quiet, his eyes aching from the effort of keeping his tears at bay.
"You're tired. You need to rest. Get ready.. Let's go home. " He said quietly.
"You do not have monopoly on unhappiness, Jungkook."
"I was unhappy as well. So much so I don't even remember what happiness feels like. I wouldn't even be able to recognise it if I felt it someday. Happiness has become a myth in my heart, ever since I tied myself to you. And you're right. It's my own fucking fault. "
"You're right. We're both unhappy. We're both miserable. We both want out. But do you think we'll get it if we just step of this fucking hotel and tell them we were lying for years? You think they'll believe us. And your mother... Are you strong enough to break her heart? "
Taehyung stayed quiet, the words hitting hard.
"She's your mother. And when you have a mother you care about them. Whether we want to or not. Whether they deserve it or not. Isn't that how is goes here in Korea, Taehyung? If we walk out of our marriage they will never forgive
You or me. Are you strong enough to live with it? Because I am not." He shook his head. " You want to tell her? Do it yourself. I want no part of it. "
"You think I won't? " He screamed, loud and ringing. " I can do it. I'm so fucking done with this! With you! "
"Then do it."
" Fine. I will. "
Taehyung threw the covers off, climbing off the bed and moving to the en suite.
He would do it. Why wouldn't he? There was absolutely nothing stopping him from telling his mother that he didn't love Jungkook.
That he didn't care about him.
Because that was the truth. The version of Jungkook he was in love with, didn't exist when it came to him. He would never get to see the sweet, gentle alpha, who had a kind smile for everyone. Who would rescue puppies and raise them behind the school buildings, who would help
Janitors clean up after hours, who would skip lunch to tutor friends who were falling behind. Taehyung had fallen in love with someone kind and thoughtful but circumstances had tainted his relationship with Jungkook before it could even form. If the foundation was rotten,
there was no point spending years building upon it. Nothing good would come out of it. And it was time he realized that. It was time he understood that there was no future here.
He had to end this.
For his own sake as much as Jungkooks. Because it must be hard,
For Jungkook as well. hating someone was hard work wasn't it? Someone like Jungkook wouldn't have enjoyed it. The alpha had probably never hated anyone else .How odd that he felt apologetic even for that? When had he become this pathetic?
And why had he done this to himself?
Perhaps it was the alcohol and the evening with Seokjin, he thought despondently, dressing himself up quickly. When he stepped out of the shower his room was empty, and there was a fresh pair of clothes on his bed and a strip of tablets he recognized as the one people used for
a hangover. Disoriented , he dry swallowed one of the pills before moving to the mirror.
He felt a bit like he was stuck in limbo, his mind and heart warring terribly. His mother was dying.
He would have to be a very cruel man to break her heart in the last days of her life here on earth. But he couldn’t trust himself to live through this charade for another six months. This would be better, right? She was a grown woman.
Why must he bear her share of emotional distress just to protect her when she had done nothing of the sort for him?
Taehyung slipped into his clothes and stepped out when he felt he looked presentable enough. Jungkook was sitting on the couch,
elbows resting on his knees and head buried in his hands, fingers lightly gripping his hair. He looked up at the sound of him closing the door and Taehyung bit his lips when the alpha stood up, eyes more neutral and less antagonistic than before.
“I think,” Jungkook said carefully, these aren’t decisions we should make when we’re high on emotions. I provoked you, and I feel like I shouldn’t have. We decided on waiting for a reason Taehyung. I promise you that at the end of six months, we can walk away from each other.
Impulsive decisions only end in misery for everyone. Let’s think this through. Please.”
Taehyung bit his lips.
“What is there to think?” He said tiredly, “ My mother should know the truth at least before she leaves this world.
And as for your parents, you can tell them I left you. That I cheated on you. Or whatever else you want to say about me. I won’t refute it.”
Jungkook exhaled, before moving closer. Taehyung flinched when the alpha reached for his arm and
Jungkook paused, before pulling back from him again.
“Why do you think I would say such things to two people who love and care for you very much?” He asked quietly. “ That’s not the kind of person I am. But well, if you really want to do it, I suppose I can’t really stop you.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Then let’s go.” Jungkook moved to the side, holding an arm out , gesturing him to leave,” After you.”
The moment Taehyung walked past him, Jungkook reached out and gently gripped his elbow.
"Tell her you fell out of love. It would be more believable."
Taehyung laughed shakily, " Believable? In what world, Jungkook? And just so you know, she told me she thinks you're halfway to falling out of love with me. She told me I should try harder because your face gives away your feelings. You think people assume we're in love,
but the ones who truly know us, can see right through the charade. I have always looked at you the way I do now. You don't have to act like you don't know about my feelings for you. " He tugged on his arm, but Jungkooks grip tightened.
"The way you look at me has changed."
Taehyung stiffened, pulse kicking inside his chest, his heart squeezing tight as it trembled inside his ribs. It Was funny how his ribs were meant to protect his heart, but they were useless in front of Jeon Jungkooks razor sharp tongue. Everyday he felt more blows befall it.
"How do you know, Jungkook? Have you finally started looking at me? " He smiled bitterly. "If it bothers you that I don't look at you the way I used to, just stop looking at me. " He tugged his hand away. " It shouldn't be hard going back to ignoring me. You're good at that. "
Jungkook swore, hand moving up from his elbow to the flesh of his upper arm, tugging hima round when he tried to leave.
"Why must you twist everything I say, Taehyung? "
"I'm not the one doing the twisting here. It's you. You're twisting a dagger into my fucking heart! "
"Okay." Jungkook said quietly, dropping his hand away and stepping back. " Okay, Taehyung. Do whatever you want. I'm done. " He shook his head. " You're not my responsibility anyway. You can do whatever you want." He turned away.
Taehyung stood outside the door to their apartment, taking deep breaths. Jungkook stood just a few feet behind him, completely silent. They hadn't exchanged a single word on the drive over and Taehyung felt like he was on the edge of a precipice, with no idea how deep the chasm
was. But he had never been more ready to jump. He was going to do it. He was going to tell the truth. This was it. Enough was enough. He had suffered enough. There was no penance when the sin was unforgivable. He had to do this.
He rang the door bell, holding his breath.
The sound of footsteps on the other side made him breath in deep and Taehyung took a deep breath. He closed his eyes shut for a second only opening them when the door swung open.
Taehyung froze. Because that wasn't him. It was Jungkook.
"Tae." Mrs Jeon smiled.
Authors note : I'm sorry.
When Taehyung first met Jungkooks parents he had a very strong feeling of cognitive dissonance inside his head.
All of his beliefs and past experiences when it came to how parents are, clashed very solidly with what he was seeing first hand. He couldn't come to terms with it.
The Jeons were for lack of a better word, ridiculously kind.They seemed to be caricatures of perfect parenting and he felt like he was floating in a pool of disbelief, watching them with Jungkook. They listened to the alpha, actually listened with the intent of understanding him.
He found it fascinating. Did parents like this exist? What was the catch here? There had to be a catch, right?
They didn't hate him.
That was a surprise in and of itself. Taehyungs mother hadn't been polite let alone kind, talking to them.
But they still smiled at him.
Jungkooks dad shook his hand and patted his back. Jungkooks mother pulled him into a warm hug. They accepted him without a single ounce of hesitation, staying quiet and agreeing to everything his mother said.
But they had looked at their son with a lot of sadness.
Taehyung supposed they had always hoped it would be Yoongi who would marry Jungkook. Yoongi who would make their apn happy. Perhaps in Taehyung's eyes they saw a lifetime of misery for their only son. That would make any parent sad, wouldn't it?
But he was grateful.
His mother in law and father in law had never made him feel unwanted. They had always been there, open and friendly and accepting without expectations. It was something he wasn't used to: receiving affection without having to pay for it in some way. All love was conditional.
Taehyung himself hadn't had a very nice relationship with his mother. But it was only separation from her that had made him realise it. Out of the circle of her influence, he found a peace that hadn't been in his life before. A sort of weight lifting off his shoulders.
It was funny but Jungkooks disdain for him was a lot easier to bear, than the constant anxiety and worry that he had felt, growing up with his parents. There were times when only the reminder of what he had left, had kept him tethered to the marriage and to the alpha.
The feeling of being indebted to her in some way, simply because she had raised him, the feeling of owing her happiness, of being the cause of her unhappiness, it had all been so suffocating. And it was hard, because she had made it seem so normal, this environment where he felt
Like any small thing he wanted for himself, anything he desired for himself, could only be pursued if it fell in line with what she wanted for him. His desires couldn't exist if they didn't align with hers.
And it was a very twisted thing indeed, because a relationship with Jungkook had been the one thing that they had both agreed upon as something Taehyung could possibly want and pursue.
For the first time, his mother had approved of something he had wanted.
And it was Jungkook.
But it was clear that Jungkook hadn't grown up in a home like that. The relationship between Jungkook and his parents was one of understanding and respect, with healthy boundaries and open lines of communication. Jungkooks parents didn't make snide remarks or talk in riddles.
Taehyung, over the years had formed an attachment to them, not because he wanted to, but because they made it impossible not to.
When he saw the look of warm welcome on Mrs Jeons face, he felt his heart take a steep dive. Because there on the fine wrinkles of her smile,
He found all the reasons why Jungkook didn't want his parents to find out this way. The soft kindness in her gaze and the cool soothing affection in her tone was enough to douse that fire inside him, the one that had fueled this need to end things with Jungkook right away.
"Are you alright? You look like you've lost weight, baby... " Mrs Jeon reached out to him, hands gently curling around his own, squeezing a little. The worry in her voice made his tongue run dry and he could only bow, his voice refusing to come out. His thoughts were a mess.
She stepped back in, taking him with her, but not before peering over her shoulders at her son. Jungkook stepped closer and Taehyung flinched when the alphas arm came around his waist lightly, almost naturally.
"We didn't know you were visiting mom. Sorry we were out last night"
Mrs Jeon smiled a little at that , watching as they took off their shoes.
"Taehyungs mother called us. She asked us over for lunch and mentioned that you were leaving on a work trip. For two whole weeks. " She hesitated, " Are you taking Tae along? You better, Jungkook. "
Taehyung felt the blood turn into icicles inside his chest. Blood draining from his face, he quickly shook his head, pulling away from Jungkook and stepping further into the hallway.
"Oh no. I can't... My work... It makes it difficult.. For me to... Take a lot of holidays. "
"Nonsense." His mother's voice came from the hallway, and he closed his eyes in frustration. " Mrs. Jeon, you must explain to this child that some things are more important than his job. Like spending time with your alpha. Isn't that so, Jungkook ah? You want him there right? "
Mrs Jeon didn't say anything merely reaching out and gently brushing the hair off his face.
"Taehyung isn't a child, Mrs Kim. " She said softly, fingers threading through his hair and putting the strands in place. It was a careful motherly gesture, one that made a
lump form in his throat, " Taehyung is a young man. A beautiful, successful young man with a career doing something he loves. And if he says that he can't afford it, we should respect his wishes. " She pulled away to cup his face, " how have you been, sweetheart? "
Taehyung on the verge of tears, could only nod, biting his lips so he wouldn't cry. The ache in his heart intensified. Her sweet words and gentle kindness were things that he ached and longed for all his life. And he only got them because he was married to Jungkook.
He imagined telling her he wanted to leave her son. That he wanted to end the marriage that had brought all of them together. Imagined the hurt that would flash through her eyes, the way she would be so confused, wondering if it was her fault in some way. How could he do that?
Her fingers against his cheekbones felt warm and so soft. He covered her small hand with his own, dredging up every single ounce of his energy to force his lips into a smile.
"I'm well, mother. " He whispered, voice low and almost breaking apart. " Have you been well? "
She laughed lightly, shaking her head before linking her arms with his. She turned to Jungkook and smiled. " Your father is in the roof deck outside. He said he wanted to talk to you about something. Go find him. I'll catch up with Taehyung. "
Jungkook hesitated before
stepping closer to her and wrapping his arms around her.
"Oh! " She looked startled, but hugged him back nonetheless. " This is new. " She laughed. " You've changed him a lot Tae.. He would never hug me before. "
Jungkook pulled back to look at him, his eyes sad but resigned.
"Do what you need to do, Tae. " He said quietly, before looking at his feet. " I'm sure every thing will be just fine. "
The alphas words made him feel even worse. How could he possibly do what he needed to do? Especially like this?
He looked away, head aching.
Jungkook gave him one last look before nodding and walking away to the wide bay windows that opened out into the deck on the roof.
Mrs Jeon tugged him closer.
"Your mother is making prawns and pork belly and I need help preparing the strawberries for dessert. Will you help? "
Jungkook found his father seated on one of the lounge chairs a small glass of Bourbon in his hand. The older aloha sat up straighter when he saw him, a smile forming on his face.
"There's my boy. Come give your old man a hug. " He stood up, his arms wide open.
Jungkook smiled, but it was more mechanical than anything else. His mind was only on Taehyung Would the omega tell his mother that they wanted a divorce? What would he do then? How could he possibly explain things without hurting them?
"You alright, son? "
Jungkook dragged himself to the present, playing with the ring around his finger, nervous.
"Yeah, dad.. Something you wanted to talk about? " He managed a weak smile. His father watched him carefully.
"How are you doing, Jungkook ah? You and Taehyung? Are things okay? "
Jungkook went still . Of all the things be was expecting, this wasn't it. He licked his lips, before running a hand through his hair, scratching the back if his head.
"Uh... Yeah, dad why? "
His father sighed.
"Jungkook ah... You know I don't like talking about these things,
But your mother, " He shook his head, " She worries a lot. And you know. How she gets when she worries. " He sighed, " She talks about it all the time at home but when I tell her we can talk to you and Taehyung she immediately refuses. She thinks you will hate us for it. "
Jungkook held his breath, he had an idea what was coming and he felt like he was going to throw up because of it.
"Jungkook ah have you guys thought about building family? " He said quietly.
the silence that followed was so loud that Jungkooks ears rang.
"Dad - " He began shakily and Mr Jeon stepped closer, gently gripping his shoulders.
" It's just a question. You can say yes or no. You don't have to give me a reason for either of those. I never wanted to ask you this. It's your choice of course.. You and him.. we have no say."
" But it's just that... It's been a while hasn't it. And I know you must still be mourning what happened before... it's a loss that you can't easily forget. But I also remember you were... Ready to be a father back then. You told me.. You would protect the pup.. "
A pup that was never there, Jungkook thought bitterly. He swallowed the words that threatened to bubble up. The urge to come clean and tell them what had happened. But he couldn't. He couldn't just tell them that, not when they believed the best about Taehyung.
"And you know... We're old too. Your mother she was telling me that perhaps you've been trying but ut isn't working out. I just wanted to tell you, if there's any support you need from us, we're here for you. I know you want pups son. I also know Taehyung does too.. So if you-"
"Dad, we're not okay. " Jungkook said shortly, his voice soft but firm. " We're not... Things aren't good between us. "
Mr Jeon went completely still.
"What? " He frowned. " Between you and Taehyung? What do you mean by not good?"
Jungkook took a deep breath.
"We're considering getting a divorce. "
(Authors note : I need to take care of the baby again I'll be back in a few hours)
Please quote with your thoughts.. I feel like I was exceptionally evil with this...and there's more coming your way....
Jungkook’s father didn’t respond right away. In fact, he didn’t react at all, gaze steady and his expression even. Jungkook felt like he had stepped right off the edge of a cliff, the ground dissolving into ashes under his feet,
his heart squeezing tight because he didn’t want to do this. He never wanted to do this. But this was what Taehyung wanted. And Jungkook didn’t want them to hear it from Taehyung.
If someone was going to break his parents’ heart, it had better be him.
He took another deep breath before finally turning to look at the man he had modeled his life after, the man he held in the highest of esteem , the one he had always relied on.
Jungkook’s father was the one who had taught him how to walk, how to ride his bike, how to value people, to treat them with kindness even when they didn’t deserve it.
And Jungkook knew, deep down, that there was nothing his father detested more, than people who ran away from their problems.
He wondered if perhaps, this one statement of his, would make his father question decades of parenting.
Was he wondering right now, where he had gone wrong? Was he perhaps trying to understand, why the boy he had raised with such meticulous care and concern and so much love, would choose to break his heart so?
He bit his lips, and exhaled.
“Aren’t you going to say anything, dad?” He asked, voice shaking so much he could barely recognize it himself.
“I’m waiting for you to continue.” His father said evenly. “ I know you, Jungkook-ah." he said gently, " I know how I raised you, and i know how much you believe in
giving people second chances. You forgive and pretend things are okay, even when they're not. So , If you're bringing up something as…. serious as a divorce, then there must be something very distressing going on. What happened? Did …. Did one of you stray in some way?”
Jungkook hesitated, because for one second that seemed like a perfect out. Except he couldn’t do that to himself or to Taehyung. It just felt wrong. There really was no way to sugar coat this , he thought miserably.
He would have to fabricate a few untruths but he would have to make sure to base them on a foundation of truth. That way the whole structure wouldn’t come crashing down on them.
He didn't want to spin elaborate tales and make things worse. It would be like ripping a bandaid off. Fast but effective in the long term.
And there was only one, irrefutable truth.
“We’re not…. In love with each other.” He stopped, before swallowing, “ anymore.”
His father showed the first sign of emotion them, his lips curving into a small frown, eyes going just a bit dimmer. He looked troubled, deeply so and Jungkook flinched when the older man reached out, gently cupping his shoulder.
“Let’s sit down first.” He said quietly, leading him to the chair nearby and waiting for him to sit before pulling another one close. He reached out and touched both of his knees, “ How long have you felt this way, son?”
Jungkook’s couldn’t breathe.
“i… I don’t know.”He said helplessly, every single fiber of his body rebelling against the thought of lying to his parents. He had shielded them from a lot of painful truths, because he knew they wouldn’t be able to bear it the way he did,
but he had never, in his life deceived them so deliberately. He felt sick to his stomach, his skin ice cold and head pounding. There was an ache somewhere in his chest, like an iron fist that got tighter and tighter, squeezing the breath out of his lungs.
His father seemed to understand his distress, gently squeezing his knees, before reaching out and cupping his face, " Hey, baby, look at me. Its okay. Youll be okay." He rubbed a thumb under his eyelid and it came away damp. He hadn't even realized he had been crying.
“Dad..” He choked out. “ Please don’t hate me.”
“No… No baby, I could never . Why would you say that Jungkook ah… there is nothing you could say or do that would stop me from loving you with every fiber of my being.
You’re my son, my biggest treasure . The only thing in my wretched life I am proud of…. Why would you think for a second I would hate you?” His father moved to kneel in front of him, both hands cupping his face, before stroking his hair. " I love you and I love Taehyung."
Jungkook felt like he had been squeezed dry of every ounce of happiness. He took a deep breath.
A hundred emotions ran through his head, a hundred different thoughts, he couldn’t keep up with or decipher. So many lies, so many deceptions. Why had he let it get this far?
He struggled to contain his emotions, before finally looking up at the older alpha.
“When Taehyung leaves me, can I come stay with you guys for a while?” He whispered, voicing the first thought that struck him, " Just for a while.?"
His father’s face softened.
“Taehyung isn’t going anywhere. And neither are you. This is your home. Yours and his… You live here, Jungkook-“
But the alpha was shaking his head, leaning forward and wrapping both his arms around his father’s neck, burying his damp face into his shirt.
“No. No.. You are. You’re home. You and mom … That’s where home is and I just… It just hurts so fucking bad sometimes I can’t breathe , appa.” He choked out.
Mr. Jeon held him close, hands gently stroking his back as Jungkook cried.
As a parent, every single instinct in him screamed to make it stop. To stop his son from hurting, but he realized that he couldn’t. He had no idea how to. Helpless , all he could do was hold him .
He whispered assurances, that it would be alright. That he would always have him. That he would do everything to help him, over and over ,all while his heart cracked right down the middle. His son's tears had always felt like acid on his skin, right from the time he was a baby.
The sound of Jungkook’s misery was so loud and jarring inside him, the stench of despair and sadness so cloyingly unbearable , he couldn’t stomach it. He realized right then, how much he loved the boy in his arms. Because the sight of an unhappy Jungkook was enough to break him.
How long, he wondered. How long had his precious son been in such pain? How had he never noticed? As Jungkook cried, all his father could do was keep watch.
And hope that he could fix it for him. Because that was his job. And he would do it faithfully, for as long as he had to.
Taehyung sat across from his mother in law, the short width of the kitchen counter between them. Mrs Jeon , despite having a lot of helpers at her place was a phenomenal cook, fond of taking complete control of the kitchen, involving herself in every small thing.
His own mother was out of earshot, having gone to take a quick nap while they fixed dessert. Taehyung was grateful for the respite in a way. He watched as the older woman carefully washed and peeled and sliced the berries with careful precision, her perfectly coiffed hair
early earrings looking a little out of place in their apartment.
Despite being from a wealthy family, Jungkook had insisted on only using his own money when it came to their apartment.
The place was a modest affair by any standards, and Mrs. Jeon looked expensive and regal in here.
“Your mother ….is unwell.” She said carefully and Taehyung went still, pausing in the process of slicing a berry.
He wasn’t sure how much his mother had shared, wasn’t sure if it was alright to tell them the entire truth. He supposed as Jungkook’s mother she deserved the right to that information, but his own mother was unbreakable with such things. He didn’t want to upset her in anyway.
But she reached out and lightly touched his hand, her gaze soft and tender, “ You have to know you’re not alone Taehyung. No matter what happens you’ll always have us.”
Ah, so she had told her the truth then. Perhaps so she could have that small edge of power over them.
He nodded and went back to slicing the fruit, not sure what else to say. There was a short, terse silence and then Mrs. Jeon cleared her throat again.
“Are things alright, with you and Jungkook?” She asked casually. Taehyung’s pulse picked up.
This was it. The most perfect opening. Here was the chance to tell her the truth. He could do it. He could casually look her in the eye and say , no, we’re not doing well. It was what he wanted. It was the best way to end the agony they were causing each other.
Taehyung took a deep breath, ready to spill it all,
"You know we were so relieved when he agreed to marry you, because if not, he would have married Min Yoongi instead, and God, he would have made himself so miserable with him. You saved my son from that, Taehyung".
The words, fully formed and on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill out, died a quick death. He felt a little like he had been doused with ice cold water, and then with gasoline and then set on fire. His skin burned hot but felt icy cold. What did she just say? Had he misheard?
" You were also with him, weren't you? All of you, you were in college together. I don't know if you liked him, Min Yoongi. If you did, I apologize. But I have been thinking it for so long, and I couldn't ever say it out loud to anyone. " She shook her head."That boy.. Bad news."
"And I know the circumstances weren't... Ideal. You went through so much, that night and the days after, but you must forgive me for being happy that you came into my son's life. Please, consider it the madness of a woman who loves her son very much." She sighed.
Taehyung wasn't quite sure what to think, his thoughts in shambles, head starting to ache a little.
"But you knew your son didn't love me. " He said shakily. " You knew that. "
She bowed her head.
"I was certain that he would. Eventually. Once he spent more time with you.. "
She looked up then, eyes a little cloudy.
"And you, Tae? " She asked quietly. " I'm old and foolish at times. At times, I think I see you look at him with love, but I don't know if that's just wishful thinking on my part.A trick of the light. But I know you won't ever lie to me"
"So, Tae, please tell me this. Do you love my son? "
He felt the words pierce through his heart, sharp and throbbing. He couldn't quite breathe, because the truth was he didn't know. Young, naive Taehyung had loved Jungkook. Yes. But the Taehyung of today, wasn't sure if he was even capable of loving someone. He didn't know how to.
He had been so numb and miserable for so long, he didn't feel anything except a nagging urge to apologize, over and over again, to everyone around. Sometimes he felt apologetic for his very existence. Did someone like that deserve to love? Was his love even worth anything?
His love for Jungkook had never amounted to anything. It was worthless. Invalid. He only carried it in his heart because he was scared of the hollow emptiness it would leave behind, if he tried to get rid of it. A pained heart felt better than one that had nothing in it.
He stared at her for a few seconds, the openness of her gaze making him ache in many ways. She wanted him to say yes, he thought vacantly. But he knew that would only make things difficult.
"I think you can love someone deeply, " He said carefully,"and still want them gone."
She didn't respond for a few seconds, her gaze still steady on his own.
"Do you mean yourself, or my son? " She said finally.
He sighed, shaking his head.
"Mother, " He said quietly, reaching out and touching her gently, " I can't tell you what you want to hear right now..
But I can tell you this. Your son is easy to love, and so he will always be loved. By many people, in many ways. My love, " He bit his lips, " He won't even miss it. "
“So, I was right.” She said tiredly. “ you’re not happy. Neither of you. Taehyung, tell me how can I help? How do we fix this?”
Taehyung blinked. Fix it? Fix what? You couldn’t fix something that wasn’t even there in the first place.
“And please, don’t tell me we can’t. Because love doesn’t just disappear. If you leave, you will hurt just as bad, if not more than how you hurt now. Just tell me what’s bothering you.
Why are things bad… is it… does it have something to do with what happened before?” she looked hesitant. “ I never talked to you about it…Because Jungkook was just so… He was so quiet about it. He wouldn’t say anything… And I didn’t understand…”
“He didn’t say anything?” Taehyung went still, processing the words.
“No… We tried to get him to talk to us, but he never said a word. We assumed it was his fault … that he made a mistake…
and we were just grateful you weren’t pressing charges and –“ she sighed shaking her head, “ we did what we thought was right. We told him that actions have consequences and if there was going to be a baby, he would have to do the right thing . And step up and be the father….”
“Wait…” Taehyung felt his head spin a little, “ He didn’t tell you that he wasn’t the father?” he blurted out, his words spilling out before he could quite think them through. As soon as they were out there, the effect was almost instantaneous.
Mrs. Jeon went completely still, before pulling her hands away from his. Her face drained of color, eyes wide and lips parted in shock.
“I…what?” She whispered, staring at him in disbelief.
Taehyung felt the implication of his words hit him like a truck.
“I… I’m… Mrs. Jeon…”
“What do you mean by that?” She asked shakily. “ What do you mean he wasn’t the father?”
Taehyung felt sick, bile rising to his mouth and he pushed the chair back, ready to bolt but she reached out, grabbing both his wrists.
“No! Taehyung! Wait! Don’t run! Please! Just.. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to spook you! Listen to me… its alright… It’s okay just talk to me! Taehyung !”
“No!No… No wonder you were so nice to me You don’t know… he never told you… I… I need to go…” He made to move again.
“No.” Mrs. Jeon’s grip on his wrist tightened. “ I am not being nice to you , Taehyung. I’m treating you with love and respect , because I love you and care for you.
There’s a difference between those two things. Being nice to someone is an act of kindness, something you show strangers and friends…. But treating someone with respect and affection…its an act of love.
Its reserved for people you let into your life and into your heart. People who matter to you. And you matter to me.. so please…
Please just listen to me. I trust you and And I love you. Nothing you say will change that… but you have to tell me the truth. What did you mean by that? If Jungkook wasn’t the father….? Then who was….?”
Taehyung stared at her and took a deep breath. He was tired. So tired of keeping it all in and he couldn’t keep up with the lies and the pretense anymore.
“No one.” He said softly. “ there was no baby.”
Mrs. Jeon seemed to be stunned.
“Taehyung…” she said shakily. “ You… Tell me you’re joking.”
He stared down at his hands.
“I thought there was.” He said shakily. “ There was a test… I took a test and it came back positive…..and I was so sick after that night… Everything just seemed to point that way …”
“Did you not go to a doctor?”She shook her head.
“I did… they said it was too early to say… It had only been three weeks, so they wanted me to wait another couple of weeks but … my mother…” he trailed off
“But your mother wouldn’t listen.” She said shakily. “ She saw the test and she heard about you spending that night with my son and came knocking on our door right at once?”
Taehyung stayed quiet.
“When did you find out that you weren’t pregnant?” She asked shakily.
“Three days before the wedding.”
There was a ringing silence then.
“Did you tell Jungkook?”
Taehyung felt his lips wobble.
“No, I did not.”
She pulled away again, and Taehyung watched as she buried her head in her hands.
"If you had told him, we would have fixed it, Tae."
"I wanted to... " He said shakily. " I don't... I don't know why I didn't. " He shook his head. " Guess I was just scared that people would hate me. That they would accuse me of lying about the pregnancy and trapping him... so I just didn't tell him and the n three weeks later.."
"You told him you had a miscarriage. " Mrs Jeon groaned. " How did you think that was something you could lie about Taehyung? " She demanded harshly. " Because you call me mother, I'm going to be exactly that and tell you that was a horrible, horrible thing to do to Jungkook."
"And not just him. To yourself as well! You were young. Both of you... Way too young to deceive people with something of such gravity . " She gave him a look of utter disappointment. " I can't imagine Jungkook took that well. "
"He insisted on us going to the doctor and well,
I couldn't pretend anymore. I had to come clean. " Taehyung closed his eyes, the memory of Jungkooks anger , the betrayed look on his face, so fresh in his memory. " He never forgave me for it. "
" But why didn't he tell us the truth? He told us you did lose the baby."
"I don't know." Taehyung whispered. " I didn't question anything he did after that. I didn't think I had the right to. I just listened to whatever he said. " He swallowed. " And that's how I've been living the past three years."
"Are you being fully honest with me? "
Taehyung looked up at her, holding her gaze before nodding slowly.
“Yes , I am. I don’t remember what happened that night. I don’t know why the pregnancy test came back positive but I do know that if I could go back in time, I would tell Jungkook the truth.
I would tell him the truth and set him free, even if he hated me for the rest of my life.”
Mrs. Jeon watched him for a second and then leaned in closer.
“Taehyung, I’m going to ask you one question. Just one. I want you to look deep into your heart and answer me , honestly. Between you and Jungkook, is there something left that is worth salvaging?”
Taehyung licked his lips, confused.
“I… what do you mean by that?”
“I’m asking you if you feel anything for him, other than a sense of guilt and debt.” She said softly. “ Are there any tender feelings left? If Jungkook forgave you for what happened, would that be enough for you to move on,
or is there a part of you that wants something more with him?”
Taehyung felt his pulse quicken a bit at that.
Without any warning, he had sudden , vivid vision of the dream he had dreamt that morning. Jungkook holding him close, looking at him with so much tenderness.
Talking about having more children with him. He remembered, jarringly, how soft the alpha’s hair had felt under his fingers, how real it had all seemed, despite it being nothing more than a dream.
He couldn’t stop himself from breathing out , his exhale shaky and unstable and his eyes welling with tears before he could stop himself.
“Ah,” Mrs. Jeon said softly, leaning back and giving him a gentle smile. “ Your eyes tell me everything that your heart tries to deny.”
“It doesn’t matter how I feel.” Taehyung said quickly, swiping at the tears that brimmed over. “Jungkook deserves better than what happened to him and no matter how I feel, I have to let him go.”
“You have to let him go? You think that is the right thing to do?” She asked gently.
“Yes. It’s the only way he can move on.”
“Very well,” She said briskly. Then in all this, what you want the most is for Jungkook to move on?”
“And you want him to move on but you think your feelings won’t affect his moving on?”
Taehyung stared at her in confusion. He shook his head.
“See that is where I think you’re wrong. Your feelings not only matter, but they are the most important things to consider, if we want Jungkook to move on. You know why Taehyung? I know my son.
And he cannot live holding bad feeling towards a person. The only way he would ever move on is if he forgave you. And well, Jungkook cannot forgive you until he understands why you did what you did. And he won’t understand that till he gets to know you.
And you can never fully know a person, until you know what they feel. So, if you want my son to move on, you have to show him your real self. You have to tell him the truth. You have to tell him how you feel.”
She smiled softly, " So, Tell me Kim Taehyung, do you love my son enough to show him who you truly are? Because if you do, I'll help you. If you would rather cut your losses and end this here, well, I'll help you with that as well. It's up to you."
Taehyung didn’t respond for a few seconds.
“Can I ask you for a favor?” He said shakily and she blinked before nodding quickly.
“Don’t tell him what I said. About him knowing about the baby and the other stuff.
I don’t know why he didn’t tell you the truth but I know that he must have had a reason for it. Just, please don’t hold that against him. He really loves you guys the most. You’re everything to him.”
Mrs. Jeon smiled.
“Very well. I won’t tell him.”
They sat in silence, a quiet agreement between them. Taehyung stared at the table front till a cherry red fruit came into his line of vison. He blinked, because Mrs. Jeon was holding out a sliced strawberry near his lips.
“These are your favorite right?” She said gently. “ Go on, have some. They taste delicious.”
He opened his mouth, letting her feed him the juicy fruit. As he chewed, savoring the flavors exploding on his tongue, she smiled.
He hesitated before smiling back, a small one but a smile nonetheless.
“You really are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Even more so when you smile. But I realize you haven’t been doing much of that , have you?”
She sliced another fruit before reaching for a small pot of honey. Taehyung watched her drizzle a bit of it on the berry before holding it out to him again, “ Well, I’m going to make sure you have many more reasons to smile from now on, Taehyung ah. Now eat up.”
Author's Note : We have officially hit 10k words for this chapter another eight k? Max... And I'll wrap this up. Updates tomorrow a lot of drama and fun coming up in the next chapter.... As these two slowly let down their guards and start getting to know each other.
The drive home was silent and charged , the air heavy with unsaid words as Mr and Mrs Jeon sat quietly, the chauffeur having brought the partition up to give them privacy. Unaccustomed to keeping secrets, the couple looked distinctly uncomfortable, their bodies tense.
It was quite clear that they were both waiting for the other to start, unsure and worried, their love for their son making it very difficult to put feelings into words.
"So," Mr. Jeon said finally, reaching out and lightly touching her knee. " Did taehyung talk to you?"
Mrs Jeon took a deep breath.She had never kept secrets from her husband when it involved their son. And she certainly wasn't about to start now. She carefully told him the things that Tae had shared, looking for any signs of shock, but none came. Her husband looked troubled but
he wasn't surprised.
"I take it Jungkook told you as well. " She said thoughtfully.
"Yes he did. Well, first he cried for a long time, but then eventually he told me about what happened back then. "
"He cried? " Her heart ached" A lot? My baby. " Tears welled over.
"Its a good thing. " Mr Jeon said firmly. " He must've kept it all to himself, all these years. Both of them. It's good that they've opened up to us. Acknowledging hurt is the first step to healing from it, after all. Now that they agree something has to change.. We can help."
"How? " She sighed deeply. " Both of them want to sweep it under the rug. Neither of them is nowhere near ready to open up. I told Tae he needs to be honest with Jungkook but that's of no use if Jungkook doesn't trust him in the first place. " She shook her head. " What now? "
"I think.. something happened that night, Aera. " He said softly. " Jungkook can hold his liquor well and he insists that he was alone in that bed that night. How did Taehyung end up there with him? " He shook his head. " And why would a pregnancy test come out positive? "
"Do you think someone else was involved? "
"That's the thing. " Mr Jeon sighed, shaking his head. " There's no way to know, now. The kids at that party are scattered all over the country, living their own lives. Most of them were drunk that night. How can we possibly find out?"
They stayed quiet, each lost in their own thoughts. And Mr Jeon turned to her after a few minutes, a small frown marring his features.
"Was Yoongi there? That night? "
" Yoongi ? I'm not sure. But if he was there Jungkook would have driven him back home and returned himself."
"Yes. Exactly . It was very rare for Jungkook and Yoongi to be apart back then. What's more? Remember what Mrs Kim kept insisting that night she came to see us the first time? She kept screaming about how Taehyung was a good boy who stayed away from parties. So why was he there?"
"I can ask him. " She said quickly.
"Yes you should. But more importantly, I need to talk to Jungkook. " He said quietly.
"Oh what are you going to tell him? "
"I told him that he can't find peace unless he knows why Taehyung made the choices that he did, but, "
He nodded thoughtfully, " Now I think we need to find out why Taehyung was put in a position like that in the first place. Remember what our doctor said when we found out we were having Jungkookie... He said false negatives are common. False positives? Those are way too rare. "
"Some of Jungkooks friends from college still work with him don't they? Jaehyun and Yugyeom? There was another guy too. Minjae? Mingyu? "
"Jungkook mentioned that he had a two week work trip to Jeju do. He missed hia flight today and asked me to book him one for tomorrow. "
"Just him? " Mrs. Jeon frowned, " Darling..."
"I did suggest it..." Mr Jeon shrugged. " He turned me down. He said he couldn't do that because it would upset Taehyung. "
"So that's the only issue? What if Taehyung wants to come along. " She grinned.
"What are you upto? "
"Nothing darling. You can do all the brainwork... Do your sleuthing with your son. Leave the matters of the heart to me. They need to spend more time together. Talk and get to know each other. I'm going to make sure that they do. " She grabbed her phone and began texting.
Taehyung stared down at the phone, trying to make sense of what he was reading. It made zero sense.
"So... " Jungkook was over by the closet, changing out of his clothes. Taehyung sat on the pull out bed that doubled as a couch , still staring at the text. "DId you tell her? "
"What? " Taehyung blinked, confused and Jungkook turned around , shirtless.
"Your mother. Did you tell her? That you wanted to end things... Between us. "
Taehyung took a deep breath. "No, I didn't tell anything to anyone. " He said quietly before looking away.
Jungkook seemed to watch him for a few minutes, a thoughtful look on his face.
"I told my dad we were considering a divorce. " He said quietly and Taehyung felt his pulse quicken a little.
"Did you tell him why? "
Jungkooks face was neutral.
"No, I didn't. "
"Right.. What did he say? " Taehyung watched as the alpha carefully climbed into his bed, slipping under the covers. He leaned back against the couch himself.
"He said we shouldn't make hasty decisions. " Jungkooks voice came over. " To think things through. "
Taehyung took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry. " He said finally. " I... I got overwhelmed today and I... I may have been unreasonable in many ways. I don't know why I did that. " He bit his lips.
Jungkook didn't respond.
"You missed your work trip too. "He said quietly.
"It's alright. " Jungkook said finally. " I'll leave tomorrow."
Tae gripped his phone, the message in his inbox feeling like it was burning through his skin.
Two weeks is a long time to be apart, Mrs Jeon had texted. What was he supposed to do? Ask Jungkook to stay?
"Will Yoongi be there? " He blurted out before he could stop himself.
The minute the words left his mouth he wanted to kick himself. What on earth was wrong with him?
"He's one of the models there, yes." Jungkook said shortly.
"Right. And Hyunsik? "
"Why do you ask? "
Jungkook sat up on the bed and Taehyung flinched, feeling the alphas annoyance in the air, his scent changing quite rapidly. He licked his lips nervously, trying to come up with a reason.
"I left the photographs in the hotel. I thought I'd go meet him tomorrow and get a copy."
(Authors note : guys m sorry i need to go, the kids are making shadow puppets. More hands are needed I'll be back later)
Jungkook cleared his throat.
"I have another copy. You don't have to meet him." He said sharply. " And didn't I tell you those were bad photographs? I also told you , I have a friend who can do better ones. "
Taehyung wanted to crawl under a rock and never resurface.
His brain was just wired to be ridiculous whenever Jeon jungkook was involved it seemed. He wasn't sure why he had brought up Yoongi and then Hyunsik. He wasn't interested in neither of those people.
"He'll be there. " jungkook said suddenly making him glance over.
"Yugyeom will be there. If you want some more pictures... You can tag along. If you want that is.. I'm not... Insisting. You can say no. "the alpha added quickly.
" Oh, okay. " He bit his lips. " I mean, it could be a good idea. Your father too. He'll be happy.
You can tell him we're working on the marriage. " He said hesitantly.
Jungkook was staring at him now and Taehyung glanced away.
"And when we get back? What do we tell him? " Jungkook asked quietly. " That we patched things up or that we're done for good? "
Taehyung flinched. Jungkooks question was a stark reminder that there really was only one way this marriage of theirs could end. But Taehyung hadn't lied to Mrs Jeon. He did want to help Jungkook move on. Without any lingering feelings of anger or hurt.
"You tell me " He said.
"I know you didn't have any say in how this marriage began.... So I think it's only fair that you get to decide when and how it ends, Jungkook. " He whispered.
Authors note : that's all for today, see you guys tomorrow)
Tarhyung's words made Jungkook go just a little still. It reminded him of what his father had told him, after he had shared the truth about the baby.
If Taehyung even for a short time believed that the pregnancy was real, he may have been just as devastated as you.
Jungkook stared at the omega, something churning in the base of his stomach.
"How much of a say did you have? " He asked quietly. " In the way this marriage began? "
Tae looked up then, eyes wide and hunted.
"You haven't questioned that before. Wasn't I the cause of it all? "
Jungkook made a noise of impatience at that.
"You lied to me Taehyung. You lied about.... having lost a baby. A baby I thought I'd help create.. a baby I had named in my head.... How do you think I felt, knowing that you had deceived me about something so precious? "
Taehyung shook his head.
"Let's not talk about this-"
"No." Jungkook growled, frustrated from all that had happened. " All we've ever done is not talk about it and clearly that is not working. So let's talk about it. Why did you lie to me? "
"Because it wouldn't matter even
if I didn't. " Taehyung said shakily. " You had this idea in your head about me and you always saw me that way. Even if I had told you the truth you would have called me a liar. "
"You don't know that. You don't know me. "
"And you didn't know me either. But you agreed with
Everything your boyfriend and your buddies told you about me. That I was some kind of homewrecker who wanted to break you and Yoongi up... "
"You fed the rumors Taehyung... Your scent.. "
"You think I had any control over that?? You think I wanted to have feelings for you?! "
"How could you have feelings for someone you've never spoken to? Someone you've never spent time with? How does that work, Taehyung? " jungkook asked quietly. " You knew nothing about me. Who exactly did you have feelings for? A version of me you built in your head. "
“Yes.” Taehyung said quietly. “ I was. It was an idealistic, perfect version of you that I built in my own head. And I would have happily lived my entire life with just that. I never would have acted on those feelings , Jungkook.
Yes, I loved a version of Jungkook who was maybe, only ever real in the confines of my own fantasies and dreams, but since when did you have a say in what I dreamt?”
Jungkook sighed and Taehyung watched as he pulled the comforter up to his chest.
“But the illusions slowly breaking.” Taehyung whispered, “ It’s clear that I’ve been quite a poor judge of character.”
Jungkook chuckled without mirth.
“ So you realize, the person you fell in love with, isn’t real? ” Jungkook said finally. “ I hope you can get your feelings back, save them for someone worthwhile, once the illusion breaks completely.”
“It will when you finally divorce me.”
"What are you running from Taehyung? ' Jungkook said suddenly. " I'm trying to understand ... Why Cant you just tell me what happened? I asked you why you lied but you keep talking in circles, and I don't know what to do any more. My parents deserve better than all the lies I
Feed them. And whether you know it or not, I tell them those so they don't end up hating you completely. Three years ago, when I found out you lied about the miscarriage, if I'd told your mother about it, if I told my mother about it... You would have been ostracized for life.
I didn't. Because I didn't want that on my head. No matter how much you may have deserved it, I couldn't bring myself to do that to you. All I'm asking is that you help me fix this. it's the only way we can put this whole thing behind us. You told me just now that you
Could have lived your whole life, never acting on those feelings you had for me. So why did you tell me that you were pregnant? "
" Because I took a test and it was positive. I took three tests they were all positive. " Taehyung shook his head. " I was nauseous, tired.. "
Jungkook sat up fully, turning around to frown at him.
"Really? " He asked in disbelief.
"If you aren't going to believe me-"
"I am. " jungkook said sharply. " I do believe you. When was this? "
"The pregnancy test. When was it? "
"About two weeks after... "
"You know we didn't have sex that night Taehyung. I keep going back in time to that night and I'm sure we didn't do anything... " Jungkook shook his head. " When I saw the pictures, and when you told me about the test, I felt like I was trapped in a fucking nightmare.. "
Taehyung shook his head.
"I don't remember anything from that night. I know I got drunk... I don't even remember how. And when I woke up you were there... And I had no idea why we were in that bed together. And then there were the pictures and I didn't believe myself,
Till that test. I thought that maybe something did happen that night... I mean... Why else would there be a positive test? " He groaned. "I shouldn't have told my mother about it. I should have waited. I don't know why I told her... I was just so scared... And I had no friends. "
Taehyung looked up then, and finally caught the alphas eye.
"You know Jungkook, you keep asking me why I lied, why I didn't leave you, why I didn't end things.. All of those questions, they have the same answer, really. I was scared. I was scared of being judged, of being
Abandoned, of being hated. " He licked his lips. " I was used to being ignored, or treated with indifference, used to not being loved or cared for but... I didn't think I could bear being hated. I just couldn't. So it seemed easier and safer to just stay quiet and endure. "
"Taehyung... " The alphas voice was low and heavy, weighed down by sympathy and Taehyung choked on his tears.
"I was so scared of being hated by all those people, I didn't think about what I was doing to you. I was unfair to you, Jungkook and I treated you so badly
And I made you hate me. Now I realize I'd rather be hated by all of them than by you. It would certainly hurt less." He shook his head." But I know it's too late. I made my choice and I have to live with it. Just know that you didn't deserve any of it. You..you're a good person."
The sound of a footfall made him look up and he stared, surprised when he saw that Jungkook had stood up.
Taehyung held his breath as Jungkook came around the bed, the alpha's steps hesitant but still firm.
He inhaled sharply when Jungkook moved to kneel in front of him.
He went still when Jungkook brought a palm up to his face, flinching a little at the proximity. Jungkook hesitated, hand hovering just a hairsbredth away from his skin.
"You always flinch when I come anywhere near you. Are you scared that my touch will hurt you in some way? "
Taehyung bit his lips before shaking his head.
"No, Jungkook. I'm just scared I'll forget all the reasons why you shouldn't be touching me at all. "
Jungkooks lips turned up in a wry smile.
"You know what I've forgotten? " He said quietly, shaking his head,
"All the reasons I'm supposed to hate you. " He sighed, looking down at the floor, " Some people are easy to love, Taehyung, but some others... They're impossible to hate. I don't think I ever hated you. I don't think anyone ever could. That's just the kind of person you are. "
"We'll find out what happened that night. " Jungkook said softly, " I promise. Something doesn't fit right. With what you remember and what I do... We don't know the truth yet, but someone, somewhere does. And I'm going to find that person and make him talk. It's not just me.
"You don't deserve any of this either. "
He made to pull away but Taehyung reached up, gripping his wrist and keeping his hand in place. Jungkook felt his mouth go dry as Taehyung slowly leaned into his palm, the omega closing his eyes, tears spilling onto his cheeks
And then onto Jungkooks hand as well. It was an act of despair more than anything else, he thought, a cry for some small comfort when the pain just got too overwhelming to bear. He kept his hand there, letting the omega press his cheek to the roughness of his palm.
Taehyung woke up to the warmth of the early morning sunbeams, spilling in through a small gap between the curtains. He blinked awake, the large digital clock on the opposite wall flashing the time intermittently. 6.08 AM.
Still very early.
But the bed next to him was empty , Jungkook’s scent gone, meaning the alpha had clearly left a while ago. He fumbled for his phone , finding messages from Jimin and a few other of his friends from the school, inquiring after his absence the past two days.
Taehyung shot a quick message to Jimin , letting him know that he would be coming in to work that day and they could talk. He climbed out of the couch and sat staring at the opposite wall for a few seconds,
his hands shaking just a little as he remembered what had happened the previous night. He pressed a finger to his cheek, where Jungkook’s hand had rested for a brief second, not entirely sure if any of that had been real. It was surreal, that Jungkook had believed him . How? Why?
And had he really meant it? Had he never hated him?
Taehyung shook his head.
No. Jungkook had to be lying. There was no way he didn’t hate the man who had ruined his life.
He was probably trying to tide things over, calm him down so he wouldn’t have another outburst and ruin things for the alpha.
It was easier to believe that, he thought , trying to calm himself down. Yes, that was something he could live with.
The alternative, the idea that Jungkook actually meant what he said…it was too much for him to take in. Too much to process really. Because if Jungkook hated him regardless, he wouldn’t have to worry about how he behaved around the alpha.
He wouldn’t build any kind of stupid expectations around the man, he wouldn’t go back to hoping. To pining.
Because Taehyung had been there, in that particular position for a long , long time.
Pining after a man who was in love with someone else, it wasn’t really a fun place to be. It was like being caught in a butterfly net, with no way to escape.
Taehyung was only just finding his way to the mouth of the net, just barely trying to break free of this miserable unrequited love .. He couldn’t just turn back around and fly right into it again. That would be foolish. Insane.
He would never do that to himself again. Jungkook wanted to find a way or them too separate for good, he reminded himself. No matter what Mrs. Jeon said, the truth of it was this :
Jeon Jungkook would never fall in love with Kim Taehyung.
That fact was so irrefutable, so unchangeable, it might as well be written on the face of the moon itself. He would do well to remember it
He stood up slowly, folding the sheets and fixing his pillow before moving to the bathroom.
His reflection looked pale , eyes wide and shadowed, signs of a troubled night’s sleep. Splashing coldwater on his face, he paused to stare at himself some more. Jungkook’s words rang in his head, so firm and confident.
The alpha seemed so sure and certain that they would find out what happened. But Taehyung knew that wouldn’t happen till he remembered everything that happened to him, that night.
And that would mean reliving it, slowly and carefully.
Taehyung felt his mouth go dry a bit, at the very thought of it. Everytime he thought of that night, his pulse quickened, sweat beading up in brows and he had no idea why.
There was a large gap in his memory.
He remembered certain parts of the night with ridiculous clarity but certain other parts were just…not there. They were hazy , murky like the waters in a muddy pond.
The ones where, no matter how long you stared at it, waiting for the muck to settle, you never truly saw what lay beneath it all.
Taehyung grabbed a towel, patting down his face as he breathed in an out a few times,
trying to regulate his breathing, closing his eyes in an attempt to remember.
What he remembered the most prominently was the scent of almonds.
It was a cloyingly sweet scent, insistent and almost overpowering. He didn’t like it. It was stifling. It made it hard for him to breathe.
There were also a number of disjointed images : all of them blurry and distorted.
And the worst part was , the more he tried to focus on them, the more they faded out of his vision. It was impossible to remember.
Taehyung felt terrible. Useless almost. Jungkook seemed to remember every detail from that night. So why couldn’t he? What had happened?
Taehyung felt a sudden burning anger against his mother. She had been the one to mess things up for him . She was just so unreasonable at times… and he was so malleable when it came to her.
Taehyung spent the next hour feeling troubled and anxious, and when he finally stepped out of the room, dressed for work , with his messenger bag on his shoulder, he found his mother sitting on one of the stools in front of the kitchen counter,
her eyes fixed on the open windows, that looked out onto the street. Taehyung paused for a second, because like this, silhouetted against the bright light from the window, the weight loss was really quite evident.
He hadn’t seen her in a long time, and he didn’t often think of her. Perhaps that is why he hadn’t paid much attention to the small signs of physical deterioration.
Her rich brown hair had definitely thinned out, and there was a definite tremble in the hand that rested on the countertop.
“Good morning, mother.” He said softly . His voice seemed to startle her a little. She turned around, looking surprised.
“Taehyungah…” She said softly, her tone a little brittle. “ What happened last night?”
Taehyung went still.
“Last night?” He moved slowly to stand beside her, reaching out and lightly touching her shoulder.
“ You were exhausted. You said you wanted a small nap but when I tried to wake you up, you couldn’t get up. So I let you sleep.”
“Oh.” She sighed, shaking her head. “ I should call Jungkook’s parents. I haven’t spoken to them in a long time.”
Tae felt his stomach turn over.
“Mom… I.. are you alright?” He said in confusion. “ They came over just yesterday?”
“What?” Her eyes seemed to go out of focus for a second and Taehyung felt his pulse quicken. “ Oh…” She laughed suddenly , shaking her head. “ Oh, I’m being so silly. Of course.. of course..
they came over. I must still be half asleep.” She stood up, her smile wide as she took him in. “ Where’s Jungkook?”
Taehyung looked over her shoulder, at the cereal bowl on the counter.
“He left already. You didn’t see him?”
“Oh.. I see.” She scratched her head for a second before glancing around her , her gaze a little unsteady.
“Mom, do you want to lie down?” He asked gently and she looked back up at him.
“Is it evening already?” She ran a palm over her face. “What time is it?”
“Its not evening. It’s morning. You just woke up, but you look pretty tired. I have to head in to work, but I’ll see if I can take half the day off. We can go see a doctor.”
“ A doctor?” She scoffed. “ Absolutely not. I’m perfectly alright. Don’t be ridiculous. You need to have breakfast. What would you like? Should I make you something spicy?” She grinned.
Tae hesitated before shaking his head.
He couldn't eat anything spicy.
She didn't remember.
“I’m not really hungry.” He reached for her elbow, gently tugging her closer, “ Come with me mom, it’s still quite early. You can sleep in for a while .”
She didn’t protest, and Taehyung helped her lie down in the guest bedroom,
tucking the blanket around her, staring at her with a hollow, empty feeling in his chest. It was like something had been carved right out of there, a vacuum in the place where his anger against her had been, just a few minutes ago.
He couldn’t hate this woman, he thought despondently.
Jungkook was right.
Some people really were impossible to hate.
Reaching over , he brushed her hair back.
"Ma." he said softly, " You love me right?"
"Why would you ask that? Of course i do, my baby bear."
The endearment made him smile a little.
“I love you too.” He said quietly. “ And I don’t need a reason to love you, either. People… can love other people without having a reason to. Right?” he bit his lips, fighting the urge to cry.
She looked confused but nodded nonetheless.
“Of course. Of course. You can’t choose who you love.” She smiled.
“Yes. Yes, you can’t.” He hesitated before leaning over and kissing her forehead.
"If you have a reason, its not love. it's just gratitude, isn't it? Or sympathy." she said suddenly.
Taehyung smiled at that.
"Taehyung ah..." She reached out and took his hand. " I'm sorry I came here. I feel like i shouldn't have. But ... I wanted to see you."
“I was thinking of your father…and just.. all of a sudden I couldn’t quite remember him right. He looked a lot like you, you know.” She chuckled. “ And at first I just wanted to ask you to send me a picture of him.
If you had any of it. In your phone or something. But then, I got scared. What if I …forgot how you looked as well…” she reached out and cupped his face, “ My baby. The most beautiful boy in the whole world.” she smiled gently. " That's why i came. To see you."
He pressed a small kiss to her palm.
“This is your home.” She sighed deeply. “ You built it with Jungkook. I don’t have any right to it. I think, I can be selfish sometimes.” She shook her head.
“ I try not to be. But its hard. I want you to be happy Taehyung. I wanted to make sure you were. Sometimes, when i spoke to you, i felt like you were sad and it ... scared me. I just had to make sure. I’m sorry I came here but, please, don’t ask me to go away.” she whispered.
“I’m glad you did, mom.” He said quietly. Honestly. “You’ll always have a home here. With me. Of course I won’t ask you to leave. You can stay as long as you want to.”
She smiled, wide squeezing his hand tightly.
"Thank you for saying that" she said quietly. " Everything is so confusing sometimes. I forget things.." she shook her head. " But I think I'll remember what you just said. A home. With you. Always."
He couldn't stop the tears that welled, looking away so she wouldn't notice.
He stayed sitting, while she held his hand, keeping his gaze on the wall. He hadn't given too much thought to her diagnosis, because she had adamantly refused to share details with him . But now he felt betrayed. Losing her cognitive abilities, wasn't something simple.
How could he possibly care for her if she wouldn't let him?
But then, it had always been that way with her. She didn't tell him everything. She had always firmly believed that she knew better than anyone else. That she could solve it all. Omniscient in every way.
A home, he thought vacantly. What was home really? He didn't know. He had never experienced something like that. What did people mean by having a home? Someone who would stick by you no matter how terribly you treat them? Is that who he was to her? He sighed deeply.
He wasn't sure why he felt the need to forgive her, even knowing that she would never apologize.
It was just that, anger against someone was exhausting when the other person had no remorse or regrets.
It was draining.
And he had no energy left to hold grudges.
She meant well.
It was something he had told himself over and over again, the past years, anytime she crossed boundaries or made decisions for him, choices that caused him pain or distress.
She is my mother.
I can't hate her.
She just wants me to be happy.
She means well.
The sound of her even breathing filled the room and Taehyung stood up slowly. He glanced at her again, feeling a swell of hurt inside his chest again.
He didn't want her to die.
He wasn't quite ready to say goodbye.
There were things he had to say to her.
Old feelings he wanted to discuss.
Old ghosts he wanted to put to rest.
But what good would that do, he wondered, when she would soon forget it all anyway.
It would be cruel to cause pain to someone who wouldn't even understand why you were hurting them.
"Taehyung? " Jungkooks voice startled him, making him stumble a little in surprise. The alpha stood by the door, dressed in a casual button down and blue jeans.
He was staring at Taehyung's mother, brows creased in worry.
"Is she alright? She looked a little ill, earlier. "
Taehyung rubbed furiously at his tears before turning around, keeping his gaze away from Jungkook’s, merely wrapping his arms around himself and moving to the door, silently asking the alpha to follow him out, so they wouldn’t wake his mother up.
Out in the hallway, Taehyung turned to Jungkook with a questioning stare.
“I thought you left.” He said quietly.
Jungkook was watching him carefully.
“I thought you wanted to…come along.” He said hesitantly.
Right. Two weeks. He felt a bitter taste on his tongue.
The text from Mrs Jeon had thrown him for a loop. He had promised her that he would do as she said, so when she had asked him to go along... he had just ... said those things. But now, he no longer felt like he wanted to. He was tired and he wanted some semblance of normalcy.
“I don’t really care much about the pictures.” He said finally. “ I don’t know if I want to come anymore. I’m sorry, if I caused trouble by saying that.”
Jungkook looked surprised, eyes automatically flitting to the door.
“Did she say something?” He asked , worried.
“What? No. Why?”
“You wanted to come last night. What happened all of a sudden?”
“Nothing happened. I just don’t feel like it.” Taehyung snapped, bristling just a little. “ Shouldn’t you be relieved. I doubt you want to spend two weeks trapped with me.”
Jungkook ‘s jaw went taut at that.
“Did I dream what happened last night?” He said finally. “ You were infinitely more bearable when you were apologizing to me. Did you change your mind about that as well?”
Taehyung flushed, turning away, and making to walk away but Jungkook grabbed his arm.
“Listen, Taehyung.” He said stiffly. “ Don’t overthink it. We need to find out what happened that night. Yoongi’s going to be there, and Yugyeom and Mingyu.
And they were there, at the night of the party. They may know something…”
“If they do, why didn’t they say something all these years?” Taehyung snapped. “ Oh, that’s right. Because it was so much easier to believe that I trapped you..”
“If you think Min Yoongi will help you prove my innocence… you’re out of your mind.” Taehyung said stiffly. “ He would rather lie through his teeth than say one thing that would support me.”
Jungkook sighed, running a palm over his face.
“Yoongi isn’t a dishonest person.” He said carefully. “ And … you can’t fully blame him for being antagonistic towards you.. You were…”
“Chasing after his man.” Taehyung finished sharply, glaring at him. “ right I know. You’ve rubbed that in 7000 times now.
You think it hasn’t sunk in yet?”
Jungkook sighed before shaking his head.
“That is not what I was going to say. If you let me speak….What I was going to say was, you were a threat in his eyes. Always.
He was … I think jealous of you in many ways. Perhaps that’s why he dislikes you so much.”
“A threat right…..” Taehyung scoffed. “ As if. He’s a supermodel and I’m… nobody.”
“You do know that you’re far more beautiful than he is.”
Taehyung went still.
“Objectively.” Jungkook said quickly. “ I mean.. you have a very classical beauty that perhaps he may be jealous of.”
The conversation had derailed and Taehyung could no longer make sense of it.
Jungkook cleared his throat before looking away.
"I just think you should come."
“This would help both of us, wouldn’t it?” Jungkook continued, still keeping his gaze away from him. “ It would help you move on too. We can only find out what happened that night, if you help me , Taehyung. I need your help for this.”
Taehyung felt a familiar numbness in his heart, a feeling of helpless acceptance filling his mind as Jungkook’s words registered. He was so used to having his decisions overridden , he couldn’t even bring himself to protest anymore.
And Jungkook was right in a way wasn’t he? They would have to work on this together.
“So, we just leave ? Now?”
“Yes. I spoke to Kim Seokjin ssi as well. He mentioned that you’ve never taken any of your vacation days and that he’s glad you’re taking a break.”
“You what?” Taehyung frowned. “Why would you do that?”
“Well, I couldn’t really book the tickets before talking to him-”
“You shouldn’t have booked them without talking to me either. And I’m the one who works there, why would you talk to him?” Taehyung demanded.
“At this point , I can’t help but wonder if you just want to pick a fight with me , Kim Taehyung.” Jungkook growled.
“Just because you’re the alpha, you don’t get to decide…”
“Oh, for the love of.. This has nothing to do with me being an alpha!”
“Then you should have talked to me and..”
“We talked! Last night! Was that not a talk, Taehyung? Were our mouth not moving? Forming words? We talked to each other and we decided that you would come with me!”
“I…” Taehyung breathed out sharply. “ I don’t have the energy for this. But… next time.. Don’t make decisions for me without talking to me about it.”
Jungkook looked like he wanted to say something but he hardened his jaw, nodding stiffly instead.
“Noted.” He grunted, before turning away. “ Flight leave in five hours. Just pack lightly. I can buy you more stuff there if you want anything.”
“I’ll buy them myself.”
“ Okay, Taehyung. You can buy them , borrow them, hell just fucking sew them yourself if that’s what you want. I am fucking done with you.”
Taehyung flinched when the alpha stalked away, the door of the bedroom slamming shut a minute later.
It was going to be a long two weeks.
---- End of Chapter 4----
Authors Note : just like jungkook I'm also fucking done with this long ass chapter.... But also very proud of the progress between these two... They bicker a lot lol... But now we know it's a surface level animosity rather than deep rooted dislike or hatred.
( Chapter 5 will start in Mid September. Please don't message me about updates )
Taehyung sat pressed up against the door of the cab, intensely aware of being watched.
The cabdriver wouldn't stop staring at him through the rear view mirror and while Taehyung was, to an extent used to unwanted attention, he had never felt so discomfited before.
"Are you worried about mother?" Jungkook's voice broke through the silence between them, " Mother will take good care of her. She'll be fine."
Taehyung didn't respond, merely wrapping his arms around himself. He shifted awkwardly, before glancing at Jungkook and then at himself.
They looked so mismatched, he thought miserably. Jungkook was dressed like the A list fashion photographer that he was, with a fitted black t shirt and graphic bomber jacket, skin tight jeans and shoes that could probably kill someone.
Tae wore an oversized sweater and jeans.
He glanced back up and the driver was leering again.
"What do you want?" He snapped, losing his temper completely. Next to him Jungkook startled.
"Not you. Him." Taehyung bit his lips, feeling like his nerves would fray at any minute, as he pointed at the driver.
"Keep your eyes on the damned road." He yelled.
Jungkook's jaw went taut next to him.
"What is your name?" He demanded coldly, and the man spluttered.
"I was just checking the rear view mirror, Sir. I swear."
Taehyung laughed in disbelief.
Jungkook reached out, grabbing his hand and squeezing gently.
"We're there. It's alright."
"It's not.. he..."
"I know.. He was out of line. I'm going to file a formal complaint and he's going to lose his job.. It's okay.. just breathe."
Taehyung nodded pulling his hand away and going back to staring out of the window.His mother had looked so ecstatic, when he had mentioned that he would be staying away for two weeks with Jungkook.
But would she remember it come evening?
Early onset dementia, the reports said.
It was a result of whatever was eating away at her brain. Towards the end she would need round the clock care.
Taehyung wasn't sure what this meant for him. He couldn't possibly afford all the things that had been written there . What was he going to do?
"We may need to ...get some clothes for you before we go." Jungkook said suddenly, startling him. They had paid the man and Jungkook had already filed a complaint. As they stood there loading the suitcases onto the cart for their luggage, Taehyung didn't miss the looks
that people gave them. He had never been to the airport before and he felt out of place and nervous.
"New clothes?" He bit his lips, catching the eye of an alpha a few feet away. The man was watching them and whispering something to the woman next to him.
"everyone there is going to be wearing haute couture. i don't want you to feel out of place. But if you don't want to that's fine." Jungkook said quickly.
Taehyung watched the couple across from them for another second , before turning to Jungkook.
What do you think people feel, when they see us?" He asked hesitantly. Jungkook paused in the middle of loading the last suitcase.
"Do you think we look like we're in love?"
Jungkook's body went stiff, his eyes shifting away from him.
"Why do you ask that?"
Taehyung hesitated before reaching out and gripping Jungkook's wrist.
"I can't meet those friends of yours without knowing what they think of me. Without knowing what they think of our marriage."
Jungkook's face seemed to drain of color a little.
"They can be loyal to a fault, but I'll let them know that they would have to treat you with respect." He said vaguely, before moving to grip the handle of the cart starting to push it towards the entrance.
"That doesn't answer my question at all." Taehyung argued.
"Have you been on a plane before? " Jungkook asked suddenly, hands closing over his own, pulling him closer. Taehyung swallowed, mouth a little dry as he shook his head.
"No. Why? "
"I'll get some ear plugs and sour candy then. Just in case. "
Taehyung stated at him.
"Sour candy? " He asked confused.
"It can help you with air sickness. In case you feel nauseous when we're up there. " Jungkook held both their ids out and Taehyung watched as they put tags on their bags before taking away the bigger suitcases.
"I don't need new clothes. "
Jungkook looked up from the boarding passes, a small frown on his face.
"I don't want to fit in with you or your friends. I'm alright being myself. And if they have a problem with that... If you have a problem with that... "
"That's not what I meant, Tae.. "
"Sir, could you please come this way... " A sharply dressed woman with bright red lips, reached out lightly touching Jungkooks arm. " Security check happens over here. And you can use the other counter. " She smiled at Taehyung as well.
Taehyung nodded, making to move away but Jungkook gripped his wrist, tugging him back to his side. He felt his breath catch as the alpha wrapped an arm around his waist.
"It's my husbands first time on a flight. We booked last minute so the seats are on different rows..
Can you help us out somehow? I'd rather have him by my side. " Jungkook offered her a charming smile. She looked surprised, glancing between them.
"Oh... You're married? "
"I see... Well, I'll see what I can do... " She smiled at Taehyung, eyes not quite meeting his.
"We can use the same counter for security check right? " He smiled, " I don't want him getting nervous. " He chuckled.
The woman bowed.
"Yes of course sir. Please, this way. " She held an arm out. Jungkook reached for his hand again, linking their fingers together.
Taehyung exhaled sharply when they were out of earshot of the woman.
"What are you doing? " He demanded trying to tug his hand away but Jungkook wouldn't let go.
"Answering your question. " The alpha said quietly. " What people think of you or our marriage depends on how we behave. It's not a vacation. I'm there to work and I'm bringing my husband along. You don't have to be nervous. " He said quietly. " I won't let anyone hurt you. "
Taehyung bit his lips, looking away.
"I don't trust you. " He said shakily. " I can't afford to trust you, knowing you still call them your friends.. "
Jungkook didn't respond.
"They're more Yoongis friends than mine. They just resent you for what happened. "
"They don't know what happened. " He snapped. " They have no idea.. "
Before he could continue, Jungkook was grabbing his forearms, pulling him into a hug. Taehyung went still, stiff as a board and skin icy cold.
"I know..They don't know you. They also don't matter, Tae."
Taehyung trembled a little, so unused to being touched with any kind of gentleness, least of all by someone who had every reason to hate him.
He tried to gather his thoughts but it was impossible. Jungkooks warmth and his scent had sent his senses scattering to the five winds.
When the alpha finally pulled away from him, his cheeks were flushed red and Jungkook was staring at him with worried, nervous eyes.
"I need to know you're okay. " Jungkook said carefully. " Do you want me to get you some water? "
Taehyung shook his head, staring at his feet.
When they were finally settled into their seats, Taehyung felt the first tendrils of fear beginning to coil up at the base of his stomach. Everyone was loud , noisy as they put away their carry ons, on the phone bidding goodbye, calling for the air hostess.
Jungkook lightly touched the back of his hand where it lay on the armrest.
"All good? " He asked quietly, leaning forward so he could get a better look at his face. Taehyung flushed under the scrutiny, nodding quickly.
Jungkook hummed, holding out the ear plugs.
"What are these for? " Taehyung asked nervously. " Does it get really loud? "
Jungkook smiled a little before shaking his head.
"It helps equalize the pressure in your ear so you don't experience any pain or discomfort during take off or landing. You'll also have to swallow."
Taehyung frowned at that, tilting his head in confusion.
"Swallow what? " He asked nervously, licking his lips.
Jungkook blinked at that, ears tinting red as he followed the movement of his tongue.
"Nothing... Just you know... Swallow like you're.. " He cleared his throat.
"Like I'm.. ? "
"Like you're dry swallowing a pill. " A voice said behind them, and Taehyung jumped.
"Hyunsik ssi?! " He exclaimed, surprised.
"What are you doing here? " Jungkook frowned.
"Well, when you didn't show up yesterday for work they asked me to take over."
"Well, I'm here, now. " Jungkook snapped. " You can leave. "
Hyunsik rolled his eyes.
"Don't make me regret not getting your ass fired for assault Jungkook. " He said sharply. " Director Lee said an extra hand would be helpful. I'll be working with you. Get over it. "
Taehyung watched as Hyunsik settled into the seat on the next row, only the aisle between them.
"Ear plugs? " He asked curiously, staring at the objects in his hand. " Do your ears ache during take off, Taehyung ssi? "
"I don't know... This is my first time flying.. "
"Well, I'm no expert but I'm assuming you'd have to actually wear them, for them to have any effect. " He teased and Taehyung smiled awkwardly before glancing at Jungkook.
The alpha was watching him with a stern look on his face.
Taehyung stared at his knees.
" Come here. " Jungkook leaned over the armrest, picking the ear plugs up from his palm. Taehyung held his breath as Jungkook carefully brushed the hair off his ear before carefully pushing it in.
"Turn this way for me, Tae."
The Omega's heart ached.
He was so royally fucked.
He closed his eyes as Jungkook carefully held his chin between hid fingers before putting the other one in.
When he finally looked back at him, their faces were inches apart. Taehyung could have counted every single eyelash on the alpha. He licked his lips again, mouth dry.
"If that doesn't work.. " Jungkook whispered gaze dropping to his lips, " Theres something else we could do. "
Taehyung felt his pulse quicken.
"We? " He asked, voice choking a little.
Jungkook glanced back up at him, eyes locking with his, hand reaching for his wrist.
Taehyung stared as Jungkook carefully tugged his arm closer, his free hand moving to rest lightly on the sensitive skin, on the inside of his wrist.
" There's a pressure point here, " He pressed his fore and middle finger against a spot, " That helps with motion sickness."
Taehyung felt the lurch beneath him as the plane slowly started moving, But he couldn't bring himself to care, all of his senses zeroed in on the spot where Jungkook was lightly tracing circles on his skin, with infinite care.
"Just look at me, " The alpha smiled, " Just me. "
The plane lurched again, and Taehyung settled back against the seat, closing his eyes a little as the speed of the aircraft rose. The hand around his wrist loosened a little and Taehyung blinked one eye open, confused.
Jungkook was staring at the floor, his face pale.
Taehyung sat up frowning, just as the aircraft ascended, but all he felt was a light lurch in his belly, a dull roaring in his ear, that went away the moment he swallowed.
Jungkook however, slumped forward on the seat, knuckles white as he clutched the armrest.
"Jungkook.. " Taehyung gasped, reaching for him in a panic, gripping his shoulder and pulling him back. " Jungkook what.."
"Fuck... I.. " The alpha slurred, his face ashen, " I.. Forgot my pill.."
" Pill? " Taehyung leaned closer, cupping his face to keep him up " What pill? "
But Jungkook merely shrugged him away, reaching for his bag with shaking fingers, and Taehyung watched as Jungkook struggled to get a small box with a few white pills inside.
"Here, give him some water. " Hyunsik held a bottled water out to him, " He gets vertigo on flights."
What on earth was that?!
Taehyung turned to the alpha by his side, fumbling with his own seatbelt so he could wrap him in his arms, taking the box out of his hand and helping him lean back against the seat.
" Here... The pill.Just one? " He asked.
(Authors note : I'm judging y'all so hard right now... Why are you guys so chaotic )
Taehyung hesitated before carefully holding it up to his lips, helping him take it in, before pressing the rim of thr bottle against his lips. Jungkook took small sips, eyes still shut. He was breathing deeply.
Sweat dotted his hairline, his face flushed and pale.
Taehyung hesitated, before reaching for his wrist, pressing the spot he had shown him earlier, stroking the alphas skin gently. He remembered how careful Jungkook had been with him, returning the gesture just as gently.
When he looked back up, Jungkook was watching him.
"Does this help? " Taehyung asked quietly, still stroking the skin gently, pressing in with the pad of his fingers.
"It doesn't usually.."Jungkook's voice was a little raw, " But, Now it feels good."
Taehyung paused before looking at him with tear filled eyes.
"Are you sick?"
Jungkook blinked as Taehyungs tears started falling freely, the Omega's eyes heavy with fear and worry and he sat up quickly, ignoring the pain that shot through his skull.
'"Tae... What.. Don't cry.."
"Why did that happen? You were alright... A minute ago and then you just.."
Taehyung shook his head in disbelief, lips wobbling.
"Tae, it was my fault. " Jungkook said quickly, " I usually take my pills before I get on flights. I forgot... I'm sorry... Did I scare you too much? "
" I... You just reminded me of my mother... She gets dizzy too.. "
Taehyung shook his head feeling foolish. But he couldn't help it. His mind had made the connection and just the fleeting idea of Jungkook being sick... Of something happening to him... It had torn his heart into shreds.
He swiped his tears, feeling pathetic.
"It's nothing.. I've had it since I was a child... Its mostly under control but I just have trouble flying. It's nothing to worry about.. " Jungkook said quickly.
Taehyung nodded, pulling his hand away, and settling back into his seat, still a little out of it.
Jungkook reached over, putting his seat belt on for him, and Taehyung exhaled, shaking his head.
"You scared me. " He said hesitantly, " Why didn't you tell me? "
"I forgot myself. " Jungkook admitted hesitantly. " It's not like me. I don't know why I did that. "
"Can I get my water back? " Hyunsik's voice came from the side startling him.
Taehyung turned red before handing the bottle over. Hyunsik was watching the pair of them with curious eyes.
"You know Jungkook, the more I look at Taehyung, the more I wish I punched you back. "
Taehyung frowned as the alpha settled back against his seat, closing his eyes right after.
Jungkook was watching him carefully.
"What did he mean by that?" Taehyung asked quietly, voice low and vulnerable.
Jungkook shook his head.
"You should rest now. Well be there soon. "
( this tweet will be deleted. Updates again tomorrow. Much longer one. And Oooh yes, the drama is about to begin. Hehehehehe)
Taehyung had no fond memories from childhood. There hadn’t been any family trips, no vacations or days at the beach. His mother sometimes took him out to the park , but all that had ever done was remind him that he was different from the other children there,
his clothes less flashy, his shoes more scruffy. He had never fit in, had never had friends to confide in. But oddly enough, he had never felt lonely either.
For Taehyung , being lonely was just the way life was.
Which is why Jeju Do was a shock in many ways.
Jungkook’s company had sent a large SUV to pick them up. Hyunsik was up front with the driver , while all the equipment and luggage was stashed away at the back. Jungkook and Taehyung sat in the mid section of the car, the omega watching the scenic view outside the window,
fingers curled around the window sill and eyes wide. There were quite a few people out and about, all of them with their phones out, taking pictures and capturing moments and memories.
“Most people don’t go back and look at these pictures ever again.” Jungkook’s voice came from right near his ear, startling him a bit. He had been quite certain that Jungkook was asleep , had even checked on him just a few minutes ago.
Taehyung made to turn back around, but froze when his back and elbows made contact with the soft fabric of Jungkook’s shirt.
It was silky , cool against his heated skin, and Taehyung struggled a bit to keep his composure, because this close ,
Jungkook’s scent was mpossible to ignore. He pressed his thighs together, wondering if your feelings for someone affected the way you perceived their scent. Because there must be a reason why Jungkook’s alpha scent made him lose his mind so thoroughly.
The plush leather seat behind him seemed to shift, and Taehyung held his breath as Jungkook moved closer, one hand coming up to rest on the widow right next to his, till the omega was caged against the door, the seat and Jungkook’s chest.
Taehyung stopped breathing completely, because he could feel the heat radiating from Jungkook’s chest, hot against his back, and when Jungkook moved his hand closer, thumb moving to rest on top of his hand, he couldn’t quite bear it anymore.
“Um.. Can you just.. move a bit.” He choked out, stuttering a little.
“Move? Like this?” Jungkook actually moved closer, now pressed right up against him, his hand curving around Taehyung’s shoulder, shifting him around till they were pretty much spooning against the window.
Taehyung physically felt a tidal wave of arousal wash over every inch of his brain, completely clearing it of all rational thought, leaving behind nothing but the wreckage of Taehyung’s shipwrecked soul.
“Is this okay?” Jungkook asked, leaning down till his chin brushed the hair by his ears.” We should stick together . That way we’ll smell more like each other.”
Taehyung couldn’t trust himself to speak.
He let out a choked ' hmmm' and The alpha settled comfortably against him.
After a few seconds of silence he cleared his throat.
"Have you never been here before? " Jungkook asked curiously and Tae swallowed, eyes zoning in on where Jungkook's hand lay, right beside his own.
If he moved his hand just an inch to the left their fingers would touch. What would Jungkook do then? Would he pull away? If he did that would be the most humiliating thing to ever happen to him. He shuddered at the thought of it.
He licked his lips staring at the fingers.
Jungkooks fingers were different from his. Not as long and slender, but thicker and rougher somehow. There was a small scar over his thumb and a mile near his wrist.
."Taehyung? " Jungkook said suddenly startling him.
"I... Yeah? " He flushed, having spaced out completely.
"You're okay with us sharing a bed right? " He asked casually, " I tried asking for a room with twin beds but they were all taken. And well it would be weird if I asked the company to book us twin beds. You know we're married. " He chuckled lightly.
"Right. Sure. Why not? "
He was quiet for a few more seconds and Taehyung found himself relaxing a little against his chest.
So much so that,
When Jungkooks thumb rubbed over the back of his hand he didn't even scream.
"Taehyung" Jungkook said very softly, " Can you tell me what you remember about that night? "
Taehyung blinked slowly, the words barely registering for a few seconds. When they did, he felt a familiar panic, curling somewhere deep inside him, but Jungkooks scent was warm around him, his touch oddly comforting.
"Only bits and pieces. " He said shakily. " I'm sorry. "
"Don't apologize, " Jungkook said at once. " It's fine. Bits and pieces is fine. It's a start. We can go from there. " Jungkook squeezed his shoulders a bit. " Did someone invite you to the party. " He asked carefully. " Do you remember a name? "
Taehyung blinked at that.
" You did. " He said quietly, " You sent that text. That you wanted to meet everyone one last time before we parted ways. " Taehyung sighed. " If it hadn't come from you, I wouldn't have been there at all. All of my worst choices have your face behind them, alpha. "
Jungkook had gone eerily quiet behind him.
"Taehyung, I never sent anyone any text. " He said firmly. " What made you think it was me? Was it from my number? "
Taehyung sat up, confused.
"It wasn't you? " He turned around in his arms, blinking up at him. " Are you sure? "
"Very much so. Why did you think it was me. "
Tae tried to remember, but a familiar fog of confusion lingered over his senses. It was like seeing through a translucent curtain. He could make out rough shapes but no fine details.
"I don't remember... " He bit his lips.
Jungkook sighes, pulling away from him and leaning back. Taehyung felt cold and empty at that, his body almost chasing after Jungkooks scent and his warmth. The frustration on his face made him wince.
" I'm useless. I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have come at all... "
Jungkook frowned, rounding on him with narrowed eyes.
"The next time you say that to me, I'm going to put you on a fishing boat back to the mainland. Self pity looks terrible on you Kim Taehyung. Have some dignity. " He growled.
Taehyung bristled, sitting up straight and glaring at him.
"It's not self pity.. I was just feeling upset that I couldn't help you."
"Us." He said sharply. " It's for us. Whatever happened that night, knowing about it is going to help both of us. We're on the same team Tae."
Before Taehyung could respond, Hyunsiks voice came from up ahead.
"Inside voices, children. " The alpha said drily. " I much prefer watching you Canoodling near the window to watching you bicker. It's annoying. "
"Stay out of our business."
"I would if I wasn't trapped in a car with the pair of you." Hyunsik grunted. " First your boyfriend and now your husband. You need to take a break from relationships Jungkook... You're terrible at them. "
Taehyung frowned confused.
"Boyfriend? " He glanced at Jungkook.
" What are you talking about? "
"You don't know? Loverboy here had a huge quarrel with lead model , Yoongi. Left the poor thing in tears, right Jungkook. Any alpha that makes an omega cry like that is an asshole in my opinion. Steer clear of him Taehyung. "
"You need to shut your fucking mouth, right now."Jungkook growled low and Hyunsik scoffed.
" Oh shut up. Using your scent to lull him into a false sense of security, Taehyung may not have realized it, but I did. It's a shitty thing to do Jungkook. You shouldn't do that to him."
Taehyung felt his entire body go icy cold at that.
"You... What? "
"Taehyung he's spouting nonsense.. I didn't.. "
"I'm not spouting nonsense Taehyung. " Hyunsik said firmly. " Weren't you feeling particularly lethargic right now... With him?? Like your inhibitions were low?"
Taehyung felt his head spin at that, recoiling away from Jungkook instinctively but the alpha chased after him, gripping his wrists.
"Taehyung don't believe this fucking idiot... I did not do that... "
"Your scent. " Taehyung frowned, " It was stronger. I did feel that... "
The car ground to a halt before Jungkook could respond and Taehyung yanked his hands away, eyes wide and hunted.
"Taehyung you need to hear me out... "
"Don't touch me. " The omega hissed, reaching for the door and tugging on it, moving out as soon as it opened.
He began walking away from the car, from Jungkook, wanting to get as far away from the alpha as possible, but Jungkook was on his heels in a second, grabbing his arm and tugging him around.
"Taehyung stop! "
"You're an awful human being. " Taehyung said shakily.
"Taehyung you need to listen to me okay? Hyunsik makes it seem like I was drugging you or something.. But I swear to God that is not what happened... Just will you hear me out.. "
"You used your scent... Don't lie.. "
Jungkook took a deep breath.
"You're right I did..."
Taehyung made a noise of hurt, trying to pull away from him but Jungkook merely grabbed his other arm as well, hauling him close till they were pressed right up against each other.
"But I didn't do it to manipulate you or control you in some way, I can't do things like that..
My scent was just meant to help upu relax because everytime you try to remember about that night, you get panic attacks. "
Taehyung froze, eyes wide.
"How did you know that? " He whispered. Jungkook sighed.
"Last night, I called Dr--, remember him?"
"The guy who confirmed that I was never pregnant. " Taehyung said vacantly, looking away.
"Yes, him.. I wanted to ask him about the possibility of someone getting a false positive in a pregnancy test. He told me that your mother.. Tried to get you to remember what happened
That night, and it made you panic. He told me that there was a chance that something happened and your mind is just blocking it off . Like a coping mechanism. And he told me I had to be careful when talking to you about it." He sighed. " I just wanted you to not panic."
Jungkook's hold on his arm relaxed a little bit but he didn't let go.
"I can't control you with my scent Taehyung that's bullshit. Even if I could, do you think I would do something like that? " He sighed. " I would never hurt anyone intentionally, Taehyung, least of all you. "
Taehyung took a deep breath.
"Everytime I try to trust you, " He whispered, " You find a new way to make me doubt myself Jungkook. It's just fucking exhausting, being with you. I want out. "
Something about the way he said it made Jungkook freeze. The words cut deep, although they had no right to, and Jungkook felt something primal stir inside him, something that felt very Close to anger.
How dare you think of leaving me, some part of him seemed to say.
It shocked him, enough to let go of the omega, stepping back and away from him, his mind reeling from the way Taehyungs words had made him feel.
What the fuck was wrong with him.
He struggled to get his thoughts under control, hands shaking a little as he stared at the omega.
"I see... Then it's good that this relationship has an expiration date. " He said shakily.
Taehyung looked away that.
"Yes. I'm looking forward to not seeing you again. "
Jungkook felt the words like sharp little paper cuts, stinging and unbearable.
" Are you certain you'll be okay with never seeing me again? "
The words were out before he could think them through , spilling out of his mouth before he. Could complete the thought in his head.
Are you certain you'll be okay with never seeing me again,
Because I'm not sure I'll be fine with not seeing you.
"Did you really just ask me that? " Taehyung whispered, staring at him in disbelief. " Do you even have a fucking heart, Jeon Jungkook? " He whispered.
Jungkook looked away from him.
"If that's what you want then fine... " He said softly.
" If that's what I want?? " Taehyung laughed in disbelief " Are you hearing yourself right now? It's not what I want...its what you want. What you've wanted from the time we got married . To be rid of me. " He snapped.
Jungkook stared at him.
"Are you saying nothing's changed?"
"Are you saying something has? "
"Of course it has! " Jungkook protested, " How can you say that it hasn't? The past couple weeks... Things have been changing. Between us... Don't you feel it, Taehyung? "
"You're out of your mind. I can't listen to this."
He made to move away but Jungkook was quicker, coming around to stand in his way, holding both his arms up.
"Stop running away for fucks sake. Can you just talk to me? For once? "
" Move. " Taehyung growled.
" Fine. Things may not have changed for you. But they have for me."
"Taehyung i wasn't fair to you. " He said shakily. " I understand that now. I let my own hurt blind me to a lot of things back then and maybe I held on to my anger because it made me feel. Righteous in some way. It was easier to blame you then question what happened.
And I'm fucking sorry I took that easy way out. I just... Everything seemed to point to you and I was just so overwhelmed and hurt that I didn't think of anyone or anything but myself. And that was wrong of me. I admit it. But I can't fix it if you don't give me a chance to. "
"And what exactly are you fixing? " Taehyung asked softly, his voice shaking a little. "There's nothing here to fix, Jungkook. You can't mend a relationship that was never there in the first place. " He shook his head.
Things may have changed for you...but you haven't changed...You're still the same guy who put me through hell for three years. You're still the guy who refused to believe me when I tried to explain what happened. You're still the guy who's in love with someone else. "
Jungkook made a noise of frustration, shaking his head.
"That's not what I'm trying to say, Taehyung. Can you just please listen to me and understand what I'm trying to tell you? What on earth do you mean I haven't changed? Of course I have... I just....
I want you to realize that something happened that night to you. And what ever it was, it ruined both our lives. All these years, all I could think of was how you hurt me, how you lied, how you're the reason I lost so much...
But you know what's changed.. I realized
that we're both victims here. Every choice we made these three years came from a place where we blamed each other for our pain and misery. And that's not fair to either of us. Whatever we said or did to each other, whatever hurt we've caused each other, it's because we
Thought we were getting back at the person who ruined our lives. When really it wasn't us at all. You and I we're not the bad guys here. The more I think of it, the more convinced I am that someone did this. Deliberately. And I want to find out who that was.
I'm here Taehyung. I'm here and what I'm trying to fix is our fucking hearts, okay? Yours and mine. Because I don't want to meet you on the streets ten years from now and think of you as someone who hurt me, someone who caused me pain, someone I hate... I don't want that.
When I say I want to fix this... I'm not saying I want to tie you to my side, force you to stay with me and live out a life of misery, alright? Of course this marriage is ending. We don't fucking love each other. But there's a difference between not being in love
With someone, and hating someone with every fiber of your being. I can live with us not being together...but I can't live knowing someone somewhere hates me for what I did to them...I can't. I'm sorry if that inconveniences you in some way but That's just who I am...
I've changed, Taehyung, because my idea of what happened that night, has changed. That was the glass I was looking at you through, and now those glasses are gone. And I see you for who you are . Someone who was hurt just like I was. And I'm not asking to fix our nonexistent
Relationship. All I'm saying is that, six months from now, when we walk out of each other's lives, I want us to be able to look each other in the eye and say, honestly, that we only wish each other well..
Please, just help me reach the point where, when the time comes, I can say goodbye to you without feeling like I've failed both you and myself. I don't want hate you and I don't want you to hate me either....because we deserve better than that. You and me. "
It was another hour before they finally stood outside the large reception lounge of the luxury resort, watching the valets load their luggage into carts. There would be more electric carts coming over, the manager explained, fuelled vehicles weren't allowed inside the premises.
Taehyung stood next to Jungkook, an awkward silence settling over both of them. Tae felt ill at ease next to the alpha, mostly because he felt like it was his turn to speak. Jungkook had told him all that and he had just not responded at all. He had just been too overwhelmed.
As he stood next to the alpha, shuffling awkwardly on his feet, he couldn't help but feel awful. Jungkook's words had been so desperate, a plea for him to. Understand and he wasn't sure if he was capable of understanding them right.
To be able to wish each other well....
Did that mean he wanted them to be friends?
Was he strong enough to give Jungkook something like that and not destroy himself in the process? Being friendly, sharing parts of each other, getting to know each other...
And then parting at the end of it.
It hurt just to imagine.
Taehyung didn't trust himself around Jungkook. The smallest things about the alpha, the most insignificant little details had engraved themselves on the walls of his heart, these few years. He remembered things about Jungkook, he knew what made him angry, what made him sad..
He knew how much pepper he liked in his soup, knew the flowers he preferred , how sensitive he was to certain scents..
These weren't parts freely shared with him by the alpha.
These were details collected through stolen glances, quiet observation without the alpha knowing...
And Taehyung who hadn't gotten over these tiny details, would he ever get over Jungkook, if they actually became friends.
The idea was laughable.
And when Jungkook made him fall deeper in love only to walk out on him, " Wishing him well" ?
Would he survive that?
"Have you ever been to a place like this? " Jungkook asked quietly, breaking him out of his thoughts. Taehyung glanced around, all the blinding opulence evident in every corner. Luxury was always loud and gaudy, Taehyung only knew the silence of barely getting by.
When you were poor, you were also invisible. Common. Without value. He had no experience in places like this. And if Jungkook knew him at all, he would know that at least.
"I've never been anywhere but Seoul, Jungkook. " He said quietly. The alpha stepped a little closer.
"Where do you want to go? " He asked gently.
Of all the things that Taehyung had expected him to say, that was on the bottom of the list.
"I.... What? "
"Paris? Venice? Or somewhere else? You must've wanted to go places. "
Daegu, Taehyung thought. Back home.
Before he moved to Seoul, he had friends. Familiar faces who had cared a bit about him.
Seoul had been a prison cell.
"Paris sounds nice. " He mumbled under his breath. " Have you been there? "
Jungkook turned to look at him, a thoughtful look on his face.
"No but, there's probably a photoshoot coming up there. I can volunteer. Do you want to come along? "
Taehyung stared at the man in disbelief. Jungkook, he realised in shock, wasn't frightened of his own thoughts or feelings like Taehyung.
That's why he said things like this.
Without thinking, without worrying about the repercussions of them. Jungkook wasn't afraid of showing he cared.
Probably because he had never had it used against him like a bear trap. Holding him down under water, only letting him catch his breath when he did what they wanted.
And Taehyung struggled against the tide of his own fears, wanting to be honest with Jungkook for once.
"Japan.. " Taehyung said without over thinking." I always wanted to see the cherry blossoms in Japan. "
A truth. He had always loved watching them on the news.
Jungkook seemed to light up at that. He turned around fully, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.
"We'll go then. Next year. They bloom between march and may.. " He said firmly. " Cherry blossoms. You know what that reminds me of. There's a phrase, mono no aware. "
"The sadness of things.. " He said easily, " It's a Japanese phrase. "
Jungkook nodded. " Do you know what it means? "
Taehyung shook his head.
"It means that sometimes beauty is enhanced by impermanence. " Jungkook smiled. " Like the cherry blossoms."
"The flowers only last a very short time but that doesn't stop us from enjoying them. ' jungkook sighed, " Things change. Everything does. They change and they end and like the cherry blossoms they wither away...But that doesn't make them any less beautiful you know? "
" In fact.. " Jungkook turned to him again, " It makes them more precious don't you think? I guess it just means that Knowing that something is ending..shouldn't stop us from loving it while it's there... Does that make sense.. "
Taehyung felt a lump in his throat.
(A/n this is real. Btw)
"Endings are scary. " Taehyung said shakily. " When something ends, there's just... So much pain involved.. Don't you think.... " He bit his lips.
Jungkook hesitated for a few seconds.
"I ended things with Yoongi a while ago. " He said, looking away. " It wasn't scary. "
Taehyung felt like someone had doused him with icy cold water.
"What? " He stammered, voice breaking a bit. Jungkook turned to him with a small smile.
"You look more horrified than he did. " He chuckled lightly. " It was bound to happen, I suppose. We're not the same people."
we were when we met and fell in love. " He shrugged. " It's funny, I used to think that love won't ever disappear, you know. Once you love someone, a part of you will always love them. But, I don't think any part of me loves him anymore. " He sighed.
Taehyung stared at the alpha, not missing the slight wistfulness in his tone. There was definitely an ache there, impossible to hide from someone like Taehyung who could pick out the way Jungkook's emotions changed, just from the pace of his breaths.
Taehyung supposed he ought to feel some semblance of relief at the words. He had always felt like Jungkook deserved to be loved by someone who valued him more. Someone who saw how wonderful he was, a man who was good, through and through.
But all he felt at the moment was a sad ache somewhere in his chest. Jungkook looked like he was grieving the loss of whatever had kept him tethered to the omega. And Taehyung couldn't take joy in something that brought Jungkook sadness.
So he merely bowed his head.
There was a beat of silence, during which they seemed lost in their own thoughts. Until the alpha cleared his throat.
“Taehyung….” Jungkook said quietly, “ Is there a possible future for us, where you can see yourself as a friend of mine?
If there isn’t I’ll give you your space… I’ll take care of all of this by myself. I won’t bother you about anything beyond what’s necessary.
But if there is… If there’s even a small chance of us putting this behind us, I want to try.” He took a deep breath,
“ I don’t know if you know this about me, but when I genuinely want something, I can be very persistent. And lately… a part of me is aching to know more about you. I don’t want to start wanting that…because once I do…
I’m not going to be able to stop. So, just… can you tell me if I’m allowed to? Am I allowed to want that….with you?”
Taehyung breathed out, looking back up at him with damp lashes.
“You said you didn’t want to hate me… What if that’s what happens when you get to know me? People who get close to me… I don’t think they end up liking me much.” He licked his lips.
“ I’m not interesting or fun or pleasant to be with … I just… I feel like I’m just one of those people meant to be alone you know…all their lives.”
Jungkook frowned deeply, tilting his head in confusion.
“Tae… what…” He shook his head in disbelief. “ Why would you say that?”
Taehyung flushed, ears turning red. Had he said too much? Revealed too much. Something clawed inside his chest , that familiar fear that made him want to lash out at Jungkook , anytime he tried to get close and the urge to say something cutting,
something sharp and angry and uncalled for, it simmered under his skin because he didn’t know how else to protect himself, not when every tender word that came from the alpha, insisted on being carved into his mind.
But Jungkook seemed to sense the change in his emotions, because the alpha was suddenly standing right in front of him, taking both his hands in his own.
“Well, it doesn’t matter.” He said firmly. “ If the people in your life have made you feel that way, then they don’t belong there. You just need to meet better people, Taehyung. People who care enough to get to know you before passing judgements on your personality.
And not to brag but, I’ve had people say I’m a pretty decent guy. Four star reviews on yelp. You can ask anyone. Except maybe my ex boyfriend , don’t ask him.” He shrugged.
Taehyung felt a smile tug on his lips against his will, and he brought his palm up, instinctively but Jungkook caught his wrist.
“I’ve never made you smile before, have I?” he asked quietly, eyes trained on his lips , gaze lingering just a second more than necessary,
before pulling back to meet his eyes again, “ what a pity… you have a lovely smile.”
Taehyung stared at him, moving to tug his wrist back but Jungkook’s grip was firm.
“You don’t like being touched?” he asked softly.
Taehyung could only stare at him, a little stunned.
Jungkook glanced down at where his tattooed fingers lay wrapped around the omega’s slender wrist, “ I'm asking because I need to know...if that is a a boundary I should keep. I’m a very tactile guy so if you don’t like being touched you need to tell me, Taehyung.”
Taehyung had to swallow twice just to get his breath back. Jungkook’s fingers were rough, a little calloused probably because of his work and he could feel the ridges of his palm digging into his skin a little.
Taehyung had never met anyone who behaved less like an overbearing alpha, than Jungkook. But he had always noticed how that little bit of aggression and arrogance seemed to come out when he stared at people or when he touched them.
He’d never experienced it himself , but here under the alpha’s scrutiny, Taehyung realized that Jungkook was right. He was very tactile. And Taehyung really wasn't strong enough to be okay with that. Licking his lips, he cleared his throat.
He had to put his foot down a little , he told himself firmly even if there was a voice in his mind screaming at him to just take what he could get. Like the cherry blossoms, enjoy it while it lasts, the evil little voice seemed to stay and he shuddered.
“No.. i… I don’t mind that. Just… sometimes you.. your grip is too hard… I bruise easy…” He hesitated, “ so please be careful.” He glanced down pointedly at where Jungkook held his wrist, expecting him to let go but Jungkook didn’t .
Instead, he felt the subtle pressure of his grip tightening, the fingertips pressing in, and the fist small tingle of pain…he glanced up and Jungkook was watching him with his eyes narrowed, gaze so intense, Taehyung felt his insides churn .
The grip tightened again and he couldn’t help but whimper.
“Jungkook…” his voice came out just a little to breathy, “ gently…I…”
Jungkook’s eyes darkened even more at that, and Taehyung flushed when his scent grew stronger as well,
blood rushing to his face as the alpha leaned in, lips parting to say something but a loud noise behind them made both of them jump. Jungkook’s hand dropped away from his wrist as if he’d been burned and he was staring at Taehyung in shock.
“I.. Tae.. I’m so sorry… I.. Fucking hell… Did I hurt you?” He reached for his hand and Taehyung quickly shook his head, watching as the alpha held his forearm , this time his touch ridiculously gentle, eyes fixing on the slightly red flesh, his brows furrowed.
“Are you okay?” Taehyung asked nervously , genuinely concerned and Jungkook grunted.
“I’m sorry. Uh…. I’m just not…feeling my best. “ He scratched the back of his head, not meeting his gaze.
“ But it won’t happen again. I’ll stop at a pharmacist’s tomorrow and get my suppressants. “
Oh, right. Taehyung looked away, not sure what to say.
" I get a little ...impulsive around this time. " Jungkook said again. " I apologize. Don't hold it against me."
And What exactly did impulsive mean? Taehyung thought , a little wildly. He had no idea how ruts worked. Had never had an alpha friend or anything like that. He had tried asking Jimin once, simply out of sheer curiosity because the omega always looked like he's been wrung out
and left to dry after helping his boyfriend out with his ruts . But that thought had died a quick death. Jimin was his only friend. He didn't want to make things weird between them. And also, how would he explain not knowing what an alpha's rut was like, being married to one.
But that was just how it was.
Despite living in the same home for nearly three years he had no idea what Jungkook did during his ruts or how he handled them.The alpha usually just disappeared for a few days every three months.And whenever Tae had his heat he booked a motel room.
They stood in awkward silence for a couple of seconds before the electric cart came rolling down the pathway once more.
“Sir, your bungalow is ready… We have a complimentary High Tea and also a spot for couple’s massage open
in case you want to loosen up those limbs before dinner?” The manager said softly, looking back and forth between them with a bright smile.
“Oh, will we be meeting the others then?” Taehyung asked even as Jungkook ran his forefinger over his skin.
The alpha looked genuinely worried , hunched over his arm and Taehyung reached out, lightly touching his hair. It was so soft he momentarily lost his train of thought , but when Jungkook glanced up, he got himself together.
“I have some salve in my luggage. It’s alright. It doesn’t hurt.” He said quickly. Jungkook seemed to be searching his face for something, perhaps any sign that he was lying. After a second the alpha nodded, pulling away from him.
“okay, we’ll get to the room first.” He said briskly, before turning to him. “ What did you ask me earlier?”
“Will we be meeting the rest of your crew at dinner?”
Jungkook shook his head.
“They’re not staying here. They’re at a hotel a couple miles down the road.”
“We’ll only be shooting here . We have a session late night on the beach so they’ll probably be here after dinner.” Jungkook led the way as they moved to climb into the cart. " Have you ever seen an overwater bungalow."
"Why aren't we staying with them?"
Jungkook gave him an amused look.
“You want to stay with them?” He shook his head, “ They aren’t really what I would call pleasant company, you know.”
The cart began moving and Taehyung lurched, not used to riding in an open vehicle.
Jungkook’s arm came around him, wrapping him in an embrace, almost caging him against his chest. Tae fumbled, hand curving around the alpha’s thigh for balance , the muscles flexing under his grip.
“Be careful, please. “ Jungkook barked at the driver who was chuckling lightly.
“Are you sure you want that, Mr. Jeon?” He teased and Taehyung felt his face flame. “ Are you here on your honeymoon?”
“No.” Taehyung began just as Jungkook went,
“Yes.” The alpha smiled at the man through the rearview mirror. “ I’m a lucky man aren’t I?”
The man hummed.
“No doubt sir. You make a very lovely couple.”
Taehyung glared at him.
“Why do you have to lie?” He hissed and Jungkook grinned down at him, tugging him closer.
“So we get the extra special treatment, “ he mumbled.
“ Rule of thumb, when you’re in a luxury resort always tell them you’re on your honeymoon.”
By now, the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, the sky darkening and Taehyung sat up a bit straighter, eye going wide as the overwater bungalows came into view.
They looked like little cabins, perched on stilts in the ocean, each cabin with a set of stairs leading right into the water. Taehyung felt his jaw go slack, heart pounding in disbelief.
“That’s.. Oh my God..” He whispered in awe, and Jungkook leaned in till his chest was pressed flush against Taehyung’s back, chin resting on his shoulder.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” He grinned. “ A beautiful place for beautiful people.”
Taehyung wrinkled his nose in distaste.
"What?" Jungkook gave him a look of innocence, and Tae elbowed him in the chest, "stop being cheesy" he rolled his eyes.
"I didn't come up with that, that's what it said in the brochure!" he protested, as Tae made to pull away from him, but the alpha kept his arm firm around him.
Jungkook watched as Taehyung went around the two storey bungalow which had a living space, a large bedroom and an open deck with an infinity pool.There was another deck on the opposite side, this one with lounge chairs and stairs leading down to the turquoise blue water.
One of the staff from the hotel helped him set up all his photography equipment in the living room, which had a nice oak work deal that would come in handy these two weeks. He grimaced. He was spending a lot of money on this ' work trip'. But he had his reasons.
" Where does all the water go?? " Tae's excited voice came from the deck, making him smile a little. The omega had found the infinity pool then. The large glass doors opening out into the deck from their bedroom slid open and Tae stuck his head in.
"Theres a magic pool here. "
Jungkook grinned waving back as the omega went back outside. He felt a little bit disquiet watching Taehyung. He looked alright but Jungkook was so, so scared of messing up.
The talk with Dr. Lee had somehow answered a lot of questions but also given rise to new ones.
"PTSD"The man had said right off the bat and just hearing the phrase had set off alarm bells all over his mind and body.Thankfully his father had been right there, taking over the conversation while Jungkook's mind took a deep dive into what was surely the seventh circle of hell.
The phrase terrified him.
It was a word that he really, really did not want to associate with Taehyung. No, it wasn't acceptable. It couldn't have happened. There had to be another explanation.
But no matter how much he thought of it, it all came back to one thing.
His father had clearly had the same idea, because he had mentioned it to the man, tentatively. Dr. Lee had said firmly that he couldn't make any assessments without meeting Taehyung himself. For now all he could do was maybe share a few ways to help him.
Jungkook had tried to take it all in and it seemed there were just two things that kept coming up in the conversation. Trust, comfort, patience. Be someone the omega could trust, keep an eye on them to judge when something was making him uncomfortable, and be patient with them.
" That feels like manipulation somehow. " He had blurted out at once, not liking the idea of trying to earn Taehyung's trust with ulterior motives. Dr Lee had given him a rather sad smile.
"Repressed memories never end well, son. Your husband can't run away from them forever.
"Someday he's going to have to face them. Don't you think it's better if he has someone by his side when it happens? Someone who can understand what he's going through? Someone he can trust to take care of him. I've seen people relive their trauma. It's never a pretty sight. "
"Jungkook." Taehyung's voice broke him out of his thoughts and he glanced up at the omega, who was wearing a cotton nightshirt that hung to his knees and seemingly nothing else. He smelled like green apple and pine.
"I took a shower.. I need to lie down now. " He said softly.
"Are you alright? " Jungkook asked quietly , placing his files down and walking over to Taehyung's side. The omega looked exhausted, eyes rimmed red and hair still a little damp from the shower.
" I have a headache. " Taehyung said tiredly. " I don't know why. "
"We've had a long day. It's still an hour or so to dinner. You should rest . I'll wake you up when we have to leave. " He said quietly.
Taehyung was staring at his equipment.
"I forgot we're here for your work. " He laughed before rubbing his eyes.
"This may sound creepy but I have a box full of all the pictures you've ever had published. Right from high school. " He smiled softly.
Jungkook blinked, completely thrown. He licked his lips, not sure what to say and Taehyung seemed at a loss for words too.
"I'll just go then. " He whispered after a beat and Jungkook nodded, watching him move to the bedroom.
He heard the door close behind the omega and sighed, running a palm over his face.
He had been putting off thinking about this for a long time now.
Taehyung's feelings for him.
He didn't think about them because he didn't think he had the right to. When he couldn't reciprocate them, he had no business indulging himself in them. Right?
But it was getting harder and harder to keep those thoughts at bay.
The idea of loving someone you didn't know was foreign to him. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. But then, after his marriage to Taehyung, watching Yoongi change into a stranger, he wondered if you could ever truly know someone, in all their honesty.
People changed all the time, didn't they? How could you trust someone with the most precious parts of yourself when there was every chance of them changing and trampling all over it, over and over again.
He sighed, grabbing his camera , a welcome distraction from his thoughts.
As he stepped out of the living room and into the bedroom, his eyes caught on Taehyung's fluffy caramel hair, tousled and beautiful against the satin pillows. He felt his breath catch a little at the sight, hands coming up and eyes finding their way to the viewfinder .
He snapped pictures in quick succession, mind on auto pilot and it was only when Taehyung moved a little, shifting on the silk sheets, did he realize how terrible it was to take pictures of someone without their consent.
He moved to delete them, thumb hovering over the button,
"Are you getting rid of them? " Taehyung's voice came from the bed, startling him considerably.
"Ah... I... One of the themes for the photoshoot tonight is in a bedroom. I was just taking a few test shots. " He managed a weak smile.
Taehyung's smile faded and he looked away.
"Right. Sorry I thought... " Tae trailed off, " Never mind. "
Jungkook flinched, his heart clenching at the sight almost against his will and he cleared his throat.
"Your hair's still wet. " He said quietly, placing his camera down on the counter and grabbing a towel instead.
Jungkook hesitated for just a second before climbing onto the bed, shuffling foward till he was by the omega's side. He reached out, ruffling the damp hair for a second before wrapping the towel around it, giving it a gentle rub.
" Let me dry it for you. " He said quietly.
Taehyung however, sat up quickly, reaching for the towel and yanking it right off his hands.
"You don't have to do that. There's a blow dryer there and.."
"The heat could damage your hair. "
Tae laughed a little.
"You're confusing me with one of your models. I don't care. "
Taehyung made to crawl past him, but Jungkook grabbed his arm, tugging him around quickly. The omega looked angry and Jungkook knew it was well warranted.
"I'm sorry." He said softly, meaning it wholeheartedly. " I didn't delete them. They're still in my camera. " He hesitated,
"Also those weren't test shots. I took those because you looked nice against the white pillows. I was only going to delete them because it felt wrong, taking your pics when you were asleep."
That seemed to make Taehyung wilt a little.
"It's fine. It doesn't matter either way."
As Taehyung pushed past him, Jungkook didn’t stop him. Not because he didn’t want to but because he didn’t know how to. Physically he did. He knew how to hug him, to touch him, wrap his arms around him.
He could make him smile with a bad joke or make him blush with a little teasing but he didn’t know how to stop him from feeling the things that he did.
He knew how to comfort with his touch but he didn't know how to reach the part of Tae that was actually hurting : his heart.
More than anything else, he was afraid of doing more harm than good. Of saying the wrong thing. Of triggering something that would hurt Taehyung in some way. He had done enough of that the past three years. He didn’t want to go down that road again.
“Are you upset?” He asked quietly, hearing the desperation in his own tone and that seemed to make the omega pause. “ I’m sorry.”
Taehyung seemed to consider his words carefully.
“Why are you sorry?” He asked finally. “ Me being upset has nothing to do woth you Jungkook. I’m not upset because of what you said.” He sighed, rubbing his palms into his eyes. And Jungkook saw the opening, rushing to take it before Taehyung closed off from him again.
“So why are you upset?” He asked quietly.
Taehyung gave him a blank look. And Jungkook had the sudden , disturbing thought that perhaps Taehyung didn’t know why, himself.
“I mean…” He looked around the room, which cost almost a month’s worth of his salary. “Is something uncomfortable here? We can move somewhere else if you like.”
Taehyung bit his lips then, wringing his hands together.
“ I can’t sleep here. It’s a new place and I feel … anxious.” He shook his head. “ But I don’t want to move. I like this place and I know you booked it for your job and I don’t want to bother you because of this…..You’re not responsible for my hangups.”
“Tae,” Jungkook said quickly, climbing off the bed and moving to stand in front of him.” That’s not a hang up. It’s pretty common for people to not be able to sleep in a new place. And the scent here is different so I understand why you feel anxious. It’s okay.. I.. hang on.”
Jungkook reached for the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and off him quickly. “ Here put this on.” He held his shirt out internally grimacing because it was a little damp under the arms and around the neck. He didn’t usually sweat this much but the air was humid out by the ocean.
Taehyung stared at the clothing, saturated with the alpha’s scent and stared at him in shock.
“I.. what? “he looked stunned and Jungkook blinked. Okay, that was probably a bit too forward but they weren’t strangers right?
Jungkook wanted Taehyung to rest well. He really wanted to see the omega happy, without being worried over anything. And he couldn't imagine Taehyung enjoying his time here if he couldn't sleep.
“You’ve been sleeping in my room since quite a while .” He reminded him gently, “ And well, my room smells like me, doesn’t it? Maybe if you wear this… You’ll be able to sleep better.
You told me you had a headache Tae. I just want you to feel well rested before we head to dinner.” He hesitated, “ There’s a restaurant here where you can have dinner while dipping your legs in a natural pool, right next to a waterfall.
Dad booked the place for us for tonight, It’ll just be us. You’ll have fun, I promise. But only if you get rid of that pesky headache first.”
Taehyung seemed to consider it before finally giving in . He nodded lightly and held his hand out for the shirt.
Jungkook turned around to give him some privacy only to realize that the glass walls pretty much showed him everything anyway. Taehyung was reflected there, clearly . Every single inch of him lit from the glow of the overhead lamps.
Jungkook clenched his fists, trying not to panic a little. Should he leave? But Taehyung was already starting to change. He didn’t want to startle him by turning around too fast.
And well, he supposed he could close his eyes ,but…
Taehyung grabbed the hem of his nightshirt with deft fingers, tugging it up and off him in a second. Jungkook felt his mouth go dry as his body came into view , his mind grinding to a swift halt right after.
Taehyung’s skin was dipped in gold, there really was no other word for it. Dipped in gold and made to be worshipped, like one of those ancient idols in deserted temples.
He had always wondered how people risked their lives just to get their hands on it, but staring at the omega, he could understand why.
He watched as Taehyung carefully wore his shirt instead, and the fabric was way too big on him,
falling open around his collar bones, the dip of them deep enough to hold water . He blinked away, not liking the way his thoughts went. As he stared at his feet, he tried to understand what he was feeling.
He had always known that Taehyung was beautiful.
But Taehyung had never flaunted it in front of him. Jungkook had the sudden humbling realization that someone as gorgeous as Taehyung could really have any alpha he wanted, if he were to set his heart to it. He felt something twist inside his gut at the mere thought of it.
When Taehyung cleared his throat he turned around slowly. The sight of Taehyung in his clothes sent something primal through his nerve endings. His rut was approaching. He could feel his alpha wanting to reach for the omega who was so close at hand.
And it was the same thing over and over again inside his head.
<<He's right there. Claim him. Make him yours. He's right there.
He's always been there. Just claim him and he's be yours forever.
He'll always be there. He can't leave.>>
He had to get those fucking suppressants.
He shouldn’t be playing this game with Taehyung at all. But it felt less like a game for amusement and more and more like a game of survival.
And he wasn’t sure what was going to kill him : losing Taehyung or having him in his life.
Additional tags for this chapter : manipulation, traumatic flashbacks, panic attacks, implied assault,
The therapy techniques mentioned in the fic may not be completely accurate : they're mostly based on research and talks with my cousin who is a psychiatrist
Jungkook had never watched Taehyung sleep before. He had seen him sleeping, somewhere in the periphery of his vision, on those mornings when he left the house before him, but he had never paid much attention to how he slept.
But as he sat on the chair near the bed,
prepping his camera for the photoshoot later that night, he couldn't help but keep glancing at the omega, who slept fitfully, tossing and turning every few seconds, mumbling every now and then, brows furrowed and fists clenching and unclenching every few minutes.
He wasn't sure what was the right thing to do, waking him up or letting him sleep, and all he could really think was, Taehyung had looked exhausted and the painkillers he'd taken for his headache would work better if he stayed asleep.
So he stayed where he was.
His phone was buzzing every few minutes.
Jungkook hadn't responded to him the past few weeks, mostly because he had been caught up with everything that was happening between Taehyung and himself. He had shot him a quick text a day ago just to let him know s
Someone else would be doing his shoot because he had missed his flight to Jeju.
Yoongi hadn't taken it well. And while Jungkook had been prepared for some reaction from the omega, he hadn't expected him to refuse to shoot unless it was Jungkook who did the shooting.
Yoongi was the face of the company and Jungkook didn't want to put up a fight because he knew that would only make him act out more. Jungkook knew that Yoongi would take time to. come around but he wasn't sure how to navigate this.
Especially because he needed Yoongi's help.
The more Jungkook thought about it the more his mind went back to the way things had come about that night. In general, Jungkook never went to these parties alone. But although no one knew it at the time, the reason Yoongi hadnt been there that night, was because the omega had
Broken up with him that very morning. Jungkook had been upset, obviously and he had only gone there that evening so he could get drunk and distract himself.
And he had only had one drink before finding an empty room and crashing for the night.
That was all he remembered from that night. He knew he had seen Taehyung a couple of times during the night but both times the omega had been alone, looking lost and rather forlorn. He hadn't even had a drink in his hand and Jungkook had assumed he was waiting for someone.
What happened the next morning was seared into his brain. He had woken up with Taehyung by his side. The omega had been asleep and Jungkook had assumed he had gotten drunk and crashed there thinking the bed was empty. He had left him alone, and gone back home.
And then Yoongi had called him. He had been furious, saying how he had been right to break up with him, how he had always known that Jungkook had a thing for Taehyung, how he had seen the way he looked at him and a bunch of other nonsense before sending him the photos.
And that's what Jungkook wanted to know.
Jungkook had them in his cloud, and he had gone over them very minutely. The more he looked at it, the more obvious it was that it had been staged. They were both fully clothed and while Tae's head rested on his chest,
There was no other connection between them in the pictures. But Yoongi had been furious nonetheless.
Jungkook wasn't surprised. Taehyung had always been a very sensitive topic between them and he didn't begrudge the omega his feelings but..Why didn't he tell him who sent them?
His phone rang and Jungkook jumped, quickly turning down the volume and glancing at Taehyung in worry. The omega had stopped tossing around and the gentle rise and fall of his chest, under the fabricnof Jungkook's shirt, told him he was sleeping now. Peacefully.
"Hi dad. "
"Son.. " His father sounded cheerful. " Enjoying the view, I hope? " He laughed teasingly.
Jungkook stoof up, walking over to the glass doors that opened out into the sea. He turned back around to stare at the omega in his bed, the ocean breeze playing with his caramel locks.
He stepped closer to the bed, reaching down to brush the single lock of hair that brushed close to his eye.
Why was he so fucking beautiful?
"Yeah dad, " He said softly, " The view is pretty breathtaking. " He breathed out.
"Good. Is Taehyung alright? " His father asked gently and Jungkook took a deep breath before turning back to the doors and stepping out into the deck. He walked over to the edge, peering down into the dark waters.
"Dad, I think I'm in a lot of trouble. " He whispered.
His father didn't respond for a few seconds.
"Ah, I figured you might be. " He said gently, " That's why I called. Talk to me son, tell dad what's bothering you. Whatever it is we'll figure it out and we'll make sure everything is fine. Together alright? I'm here for you. "
Jungkook took a deep breath, wrapping an arm around himself as the cool ocean breeze caught his bare chest. He hadn't bothered with putting on a shirt after lending his own to Taehyung.
"How do you know if you've forgiven someone for what they did to you, dad. "
"Hmm, is this about Taehyung? "
"Dad I don't even remember why I used to be so upset with him. I just... I feel like I'm meeting someone new. For the first time. A stranger who makes me so curious about them. It's so confusing because I've known him for years but.. "
"Son,you know what I truly think? " His father said hesitantly. " I think deep down you forgave him a long time ago. Because that's the kind of person you are. You forgive people and give them second chances all the time. Even the ones who don't deserve it. Like that ex of yours"
Jungkook wrinkled his nose at once.
"Dad.. " He said chidingly and his father grunted.
"Right.. Right, of course. Shouldn't say one wrong word about that one. But to. Answer your question, Taehyung back then, must have been under a lot of pressure. It's understandable why
He decided to hide the truth, probably from fear of how you would react. " He was quiet for a second, " Of course that doesn't make it right. You were deeply hurt by what he did, Jungkook. And you should definitely let him know that. "
"I was ready to be a father. I wanted to be one just like you, dad. " Jungkook whispered. " I didn't realize how much I wanted it, till he told me it was all just a lie. "
" And you're right. " He sighed deeply, " I was hurt but these few days, I can't help but wonder... If Tae thought he was genuinely pregnant, perhaps... He might have wanted it too you know? To be a parent? " He bit his lips, " So maybe he was going through the same pain as me? "
Mr Jeon stayed quiet for a second.
"Your mother says that Taehyung took three tests and they all came back positive. You know he must have fully believed it to be true, Jungkook. He was probably hurting more than you, because you know he was raised by a single mother. "
"He was probably frightened you wouldn't want anything to do with the baby and he'd end up being one too. That can be a very frightening prospect for a young man like him. Have you thought of that? " Mr. Jeon sighed deeply. " What happened to him that night son? "
" I don't know yet, but I'm going to find out. " Jungkook said softly.
"Good. If you need help with anything, just let me know. You didn't answer me by the way, how is my other son? " Mr. Jeon teased.
Jungkook hesitated before peering into the window again.
" He's... Asleep right now. He gets nightmares I think. I don't know... " He sighed. " I'm so scared of messing it up with him dad. He keeps saying he wants to leave after six months and.. "
"Isn't that what you want to? " His father said quietly. " You told me it was mutual. "
"Yes.. But... " Jungkook sank his fingers into his hair, gripping it hard just to get his head on straight, " But i don't want him to want to leave.... I Don't know why but every time he says that I get so fucking angry... " He groaned. " Am I that awful to be with? "
His dad was quiet for a second and then he was chuckling deeply.
"Ah I see.Well to answer your question, unless you give him a reason to want to stay, of course he's going to want to go.Because from what you told me, all these years, you've given him enough reasons to leave."
" I don't have any reasons dad. " Jungkook said quietly. " I don't have a single thing that could make him want to stay. He may have liked me onec but you should see him around me now. He looks like he's a second away from crying. I feel like the worst kind of monster. "
"I thought you would have learned your lesson about not making assumptions about him. " Mr. Jeon said quietly. " But if you don't know the reasons he should stay, it's best you stay away from him till you figure it out. Don't give him false ideas until you sort yourself out. "
"If I stay away from him he'll just assume I hate him, which I don't. " Jungkook said sharply.
"Give me the phone," His mother's voice came from the background and a second later,
"Jungkook my baby , before you drive yourself crazy about giving him reasons to stay, have you actually stopped to think why you want him to stay...? " She said quietly. " Are you perhaps thinking of a future with him? A real marriage? "
Jungkook felt his world grind to a halt.
He hesitated before exhaling a little.
"No, mom. " He said honestly. " I've never thought of that. "
"Okay." His mother hesitated. " So what do you want from him? "
"That's the thing mom.. When it comes to Taehyung the only thing I keep wanting is for him to stop looking so sad. " He said quietly, " He just has this look in his eyes mom, like he's scared to ask for what he wants, like his needs don't matter. I just
want to take that look out of there. I want him to look at me and ask me things. I want him to what he likes, what makes him angry, what makes him happy. I just want him to look at me and see beyond what happened between us. I want him to see me the way I see him. "
"I want him to get to know me. The real me. I want him to be curious about me the way I am about him. I want him to wonder about me the way I. Wonder about him. I just want a space in his heart and mind mom, because he's made a space for himself in mine. " He said softly.
"I want him to look at me and not think about how I hurt him. I want to be something more than just a regret. "
"Jungkook " His mother said quietly. " Baby, I want you to take a deep breath. Just take a deep breath and hear me out alright? " She said softly, " You can't play around with Taehyungs feelings just because you don't want to feel guilty about what happened the last three years."
"Taehyung is a lovely young man and I. See why you're so curious about him. Who wouldn't be? But being curious about someone isn't enough to want to keep them by your side alright? I know you don't want to label your feelings for him yet.. And that's fine. But be careful. "
Jungkook stayed quiet, the gentle sound of the waves crashing onto the shore aoothing him as he tried to take her words in.
Did he have feelings for Taehyung?
He certainly wasn't indifferent to him anymore... And that meant there were some feelings involved right?
"If I do end up like falling for him" He said softly, laughing a little, " I feel like Yoongi would be the first to say I told you so. You know he was always on my case about liking Taehyung. "
His mother stayed quiet for a second.
"He's not a bad guy mom. He was just scared."
"Baby, the only thing that made Yoongi special was the love you had for him.And that love was the only reason you saw him as kind, and sweet and perfect.And that's why anytime he thought of losing that love he tried to chain you to his side. And for that I'll never forgive him"
( I'm stopping here because the next update is long and I want to do it together. I'll see you guys tomorrow)
"That's not... " Jungkook sighed deeply, running a hand over his face, " Mom. You can't blame him for everything under the sun. I agree he wasn't right for me but, I did love him. And that was a choice. He didn't chain me to anything least of all himself. Come on.. "
His mother scoffed, " He used your tender heart to feed his own ego Jungkook. That's what he did. All he really cared about was having the Jeon Jungkook at his beck and call every second of the day. You didn't see it, because you're a gentle soul. I saw it right away. "
This was an old argument. One they had had a million times, or so it felt to him. He knew his parents never approved of Yoongi, but it was exhausting trying to make them aee reason.
"Well, he's not in my life anymore. So let's not curse him out without reason. "
"Just don't hurt Taehyung because of him. " His mother said softly, " I want you to see Taehyung for who he is, Jungkook. When you got married, although he loved you deeply, I remember seeing the sadness in his eyes. At the time, I thought it was because he was pregnant,
But now I realize it was because he knew you didn't want him. Taehyung puts off his own pain to empathize with you, and I wish you would realize how rare it is to find someone who loves so earnestly. "
Jungkook felt his pulse quicken at the words, his heart racing.
His mother was always so uncannily perceptive when it came to people, so he knew she was likely right about Taehyung. And it scared him, intensely, the idea of Taehyung choosing to neglect himself over Jungkook.
He didn't want that.
He would never encourage that .
"You.... You want me to fall in love with him, don't you? " He said shakily. " You don't hide it at all, neither of you. "
His mother took a sharp breath.
"I love you. " She said gently, " And I love Taehyung. And that is why, the question you just asked me, it isn't easy. "
"I know how Taehyung feels about you, and for his sake I want you to love him and show him what it's like to experience a love that comes without conditions or expectations.
But, I love you too and so, I want you to make your own choices. And even if that choice isn't Taehyung,
I will love you and support you. It is your life Jungkook." She said tiredly.
"I'm not ready to love.... Anyone yet." He said gently, not wanting her to get her hopes up.
"In that case when he leaves you, I hope you accept it with good grace. And understand it's your choice".
"You say you're curious about him. You say you want to know him. So do that, Jungkook... But remember, it will be infinitely harder to lose him, once you understand exactly what it is that you're losing. If you aren't open to the idea of loving him, don't fall in love with him. "
Taehyung woke up after what felt like hours and when he blinked bleary eyes at the small digital clock on the side table, his heart fell right to his toes.
He had slept for over three hours. He pushed the sheet off himself, stopping when he caught sight
Of himself in the mirror. He looked haggard but also small. That was probably because of the shirt. He ran a palm over his chest, the soft fabric worn and smooth against his fingers. Jungkook's shirt was well worn but expensive and he felt like he was wrapped in a cloud.
The cabin was eerily quiet and he wondered if he was alone. Had Jungkook just left him here? Je had mentioned having a photoshoot later that night. He grimaced, hating himself for being a bother within a few hours of being there.
Jungkook was probably angry.
But as he moved to climb out of the bed, a hand shot out of the sheets next to him, gripping his wrist. He yelped, horrified and a second later, Jungkook's sleep ruffled hair and fave peeked out of the thick folds.
"Where do you think you're going at this hour? "
Taehyung stared down at him, and felt his jaw drop for two reasons. One, Jungkook was in bed with him and he hadn't even realized it.
Two he was pretty certain that the shirt Jungkook had on was his.
What on earth?
"I couldn't sleep too. Figured if it worked for you... "
Taehyung had to blink back sleep just to make sense of what he just heard. Trying not to let it get to him, he cleared his throat, reaching out and tugging on the sleeve.
"You've stretched it out. It won't fit me right anymore. " He muttered. " Take it off. "
Jungkook smiled a little, giving him a cautious look.
"You want it back, are you sure? " He asked carefully.
"What will I wear then? " He asked innocently.
"Don't you have any other clothes . Your luggage is right there. Taehyung rolled his eyes.
"But I just told you I can't sleep and you're wearing my favorite shirt. " He said with a shrug.
Tae narrowed his eyes before grabbing the hem of Jungkook's shirt, tugging it up and off him in a second.
He held it out, shivering a little because the door to the deck was open.
But Jungkook didn't take it, instead he leaned back, eyes dancing over Taehyung's bare torso, without restraint.
"Wow." He said quietly, " Is it really that easy, getting you out of your clothes? " He grinned.
Taehyung felt the blood rush up to his face.
He grabbed the sheet by his side, looking to wrap it around him but Jungkook was faster, yanking the fabric away from him and tossing it off the bed. Taehyung stared at him in disbelief, holding his arms up over his chest, furious.
"Give that back. " He demanded.
"Ahh.. Come on. You were just complaining that this shirt won't fit you anymore. " He smiled, " I don't think that those sheets are going to fit you any better. Here.. " He reaches down and pulled Taehyung's shirt off himself, "if you want it, come and get it. " He grinned.
Taehyung struggled to keep himself from combusting.
Stop thinking about how you're both shirtless on a bed that smells like both of you, he told himself firmly.
He held a hand out, enough to brush the sleeve , but before he could grasp it, the alpha tugged it away.
"How about this .. " Jungkook said softly, holding the shirt out of reach, " O ask you a question, you answer me honestly and I give you a chance to get your shirt back. " He smiled. " Honestly."
"One question.. Just one. " He smiles, " Please."
The omega took a deep breath. This felt dangerous. Everything about this felt dangerous and terrifying but the look on Jungkook's face, so earnest and sincere, and the fact that he had just said, please... How on earth was he going to say no to the man who held his entire heart?
"What is it, " He asked quietly.
Jungkook seemed to be steeling himself for it and a few seconds later the alpha breathed out.
"If you could go back in time, would you still marry me? " He asked quietly, his grip on the shirt loosening.
Tae felt the breath leave his lung.
He stared at the man in front of him, fighting the impulse to lookaway, the way he had conditioned himself to do all these years. Taehyung had never truly looked at Jungkook, because it always felt wrong. Felt like something he wasn't allowed to have for himself.
He had always looked away anytime their eyes met because he never felt strong enough to see the hatred he was certain he would find there.
But for the first time he wondered, if perhaps that wasn't what Jungkook's eyes held, when they looked at him.
Because there was a quiet desperation in those words, that Taehyung somehow found himself recognizing, against his own will.
And when he looked right into the alphas eyes he felt his breath catch just a little because he recognized that look on his face as well.
It was something he had seen in his own eyes, when he stood in front of his mirror as a teenager, thinking about the alpha he had found himself drawn so strongly to.
It was the look Taehyung had when he looked at Jungkook.
"No." He said shakily, instinctively. " No. Never. "
And it was perhaps poetic justice, that he saw the exact moment his words hit home, because the light in kook's gaze faded out so fast, his fingers going lax, Tae's shirt falling to the bed as the alpha recoiled.
"You have no right, "Tae said shakily, " To look at me like that."
"Tae.. " The alpha whispered, soft and desperate reaching for him but Taehyung crawled back, tears falling.
"You have no right to look at me like you..Like you... Want me... " He choked out, " You're a liar. A fucking liar..." He growled, grabbing a pillow and tossing it at him.
Jungkook caught the pillow and tossing it aside and moving to him but Taehyung kicked out, almost catching him right near the jaw. Jungkook swore, before grabbing his ankle and yanking him down, till he was flat on his back, the alpha straddling his waist.
"Tae, listen.. "
Taehyung was so far past the point of civil conversation that it wasn't even funny. He lashes out with closed fists, growling amd kicking out, but Jungkook caught his wrists, both of them in one hand, pinning them over his head as he leaned.
"Just hear me out.. "
Taehyung panted trying to use his leg to push him off but Jungkook's hand closed over his thigh, holding him down.
"Taehyung... Please give me a minute to just explain-"
"Get off me! " He screamed, " Get off me, Get off me, Get off me-"
He was cut off by Jungkook's lips.
(Authors note. I'm sorry)
( lmao just kidding)
Tae's body went stiff, every nerve ending frayed as his mind tried to catch up with what was happening to his body. He was staring, eyes wide open and Jungkook was kissing him.
Jungkook was kissing him.
Taehyung often thought the alpha was about to kill him, but kiss?
His body went limp in shock and Jungkook was pulling away, looking as stunned and horrified as he himself was. Taehyung stayed on the bed.
Not moving, not breathing and not thinking.
Jungkook was out of the bed and on the floor, looking like he was ready to run.
"Fuck." The alpha was saying, hands gripping his own hair as he growled" Fucking hell... Taehyung, I'm so sorry... So. Fucking sorry.. I shouldn't have done that... I shouldn't have... I don't know why I did that... " He was stammering and Taehyung felt like death.
"I just wanted you to listen to me ans you kept fighting me.... I just didn't like that you wouldn't listen to me and I... " Jungkook exhaled.
"You need to get your fucking suppressants. " Taehyung said shakily, gripping the sheetd for leverage and pulling himself up, shaking.
Jungkook stood there looking distraught, and the look of confusion and hurt on his face sent Tae into another spiral, his wretched heart aching without a single ounce of self respect. He felt pathetic and worthless, choking on a sob.
"I'm fine. " He whispered. " Just go away."
But Jungkook didnt move.
" I can't do that. " The alpha said quietly.
"What? " He frowned.
"Tae, I'm so very deeply sorry but I can't. " He said, voice shaking. " It's okay if you hate me. It's okay if you yell and scream. You can hit me too if you want but I can't leave."
Taehyung groaned in disbelief and frustration, grabbing another pillow and tossing it at him.
"What the fuck do you want from me, you lousy excuse for an alpha?!" He screamed, "All you've ever done is hurt me, confuse me and cause me pain all my life.. And it's not enough?!"
Jungkook stood still, staring at him with wide, vulnerable eyes and Taehyung scrambled to find something, anything to say that would make the alpha hate him. Because he could handle Jungkook hating him, he had lived with that for years. He wanted it back.
Because he could live with Jungkook hating him, but he couldn't stand that look of hopeful longing on his face. It wasn't real. It wasn't something he could trust. Never again.
There was no world where Jungkook could look at him like that. And Taehyung wouldn't allow it.
"You're the worst thing to ever happen to me, Jungkook!! " He growled out, glaring at him." The worst most terrible thing... You're the reason I'm so fucked up and I wish you were never born!"
Jungkook looked stunned for a second, face draining of all color, as white as a sheet.
Taehyung froze, the gravity of what he had just said... And to whom.... Sinking in like a pebble in a clear mountain lake.
As it hit rock bottom, he felt nausea rise.
"Jungkook-" He choked out.
"I didn't realize you felt so strongly about me. " Jungkook's voice shook.
"I... I... " Taehyung couldn't quite get his words out, his throat choked up and his eyes burning.
"I'll go. " Jungkook said quietly. " I'm sure the rest of my crew have a spare room I can use for the night. " He stared down at himself before moving to pick his own shirt up.
He paused, staring at it for a second before turning to Taehyung.
"Here, you don't have to wear it but the scent may help you sleep. You... You're exhausted.. I don't want you to have trouble sleeping. " He said quietly.
Taehyung stared at him before breaking into tears.
He sobbed into his fists, shaking uncontrollably, only pausing a bit when he felt the bed dip next to him, his body trembling as strong arms came around him, wrapping him in a gentle embrace.
"Did you not hear what I told you," He choked out, "why are you still here?"
Jungkook held him tighter.
"Well, I did pay for this room. " He said softly, " If anyone should leave it should be you. " Jungkook's voice was shaky and Taehyung felt the dampness dripping on his back.
The alpha was crying too.
"I hate you. " He whispered, shaking.
"I know. " Jungkook said quietly, hands moving up and down Taehyungs arm, his body warming him up like the softest fleece blanket.
" I know you do, Tae. And in many ways, I hate myself too. But you can't tell me I can't look at you with want, Taehyung. Because that's not something I can control. " Taehyung felt the press of lips against his hair,
" You don't ever have to want me back. But don't punish me for what I can't control. "
( author's note : don't we just love a son who has amazing insightful parents and then does the exact opposite of what they ask him to do heheheheh.)
( also I hope you guys can better understand Jungkook and his biggest, biggest flaw: impulsiveness. He doesn't stop to think of the consequences of his actions Or the weight of his words. This is what will cost him. )
The moment the words left him, Jungkook felt something break inside him, like the chainlink fence around a rusty gate that had been locked away for years, just breaking and falling. He felt his mouth go dry, his heart beating faster.
He felt Taehyung go stiff in his arms, skin chilling in a way that he could physically feel.
"You know this is probably the rut talking. " The omega said quietly. "You're going to look back on this and regret it with all your heart. "
Jungkook didn't respond.
"You have no business wondering about whether I would marry you all over again, "Taehyung said suddenly. " It would be like me wondering if you would fall in love with me if you had met me before you met him."The omega said softly. "It's a pointless thought and only brings pain."
Jungkook went still.
"Have you... Have you had that thought before? " He said shakily and Taehyung scoffed, before pulling away from him, reaching for his shirt.
The omega slipped it back on and hesitated before moving back to lean against his chest.
"What do you think, Jungkook? It was the only way I could get through some days. Because the alternative was that someone like you would never fall in love with someone like me and well, that was too much for fifteen year old Taehyung to accept, you know. "
They had never talked about this, Jungkook thought cautiously. Taehyung's feelings for him had always been the elephant in the room, when they were together but they had never addressed it before. Ans Jungkook couldn't help but wonder why the omega was talking about it now.
"But.. After I married you, after I saw the way you looked at him.. The way you cared for him, the way you seemed to so... Enthralled by him. " Taehyung laughed without mirth, " I understood I never really stood a chance. " He sighed. " But I suppose that's for the best. "
Jungkook felt his mouth go dry.
"What... What do you mean by that? " He asked quietly, heart pounding a bit, a feeling of foreboding in his gut.
"It's for the best because, knowing you would never look at me like that. " Taehyung said softly, "Will make it easier to move on."
Jungkook felt the world tilt on its axis for a second.
"Remember what you asked me Jungkook? " Taehyung said softly, " About us being friends.." The omega chuckled, shaking his head. " I was ready to say yes. But I realize that isn't possible . Not for us. We can't be friends."
"Because if we could be friends, it would just mean that I never loved you in the first place. And there's many things I can deny, but that is something I can't. Because it has been my truth for so long, Jungkook. I loved you. Truly madly and deeply. In every way I knew how to."
"The love I had for you, was easily the most precious thing I ever owned , the thing I cherished more than anything else, the things I guarded inside my heart. I kept it locked away, for my eyes only because the only one worthy of seeing it, "He looked at him, " Didn't want it."
I kept it safe because it was so important to me. And I never said it out loud even when alone because I couldn't trust even the wind with it. " He laughed. " But when I realized that this thing, this stupid wretched love was causing you hurt, I knew it had to go."
Jungkook felt the warmth of his hand closing over his own, icy cold fingers. The omega held his hand gently, thumb stroking the skin there.
"It's alright for hate to turn into love. But its unbearable when love starts to turn into hate."Tae whispered. " I can't let that happen."
Jungkook took a few seconds, taking in all that he has just heard, Taehyung's words fell like hammer blows and he couldn't quite keep up with the pain each syllable brought him. There was a dull roaring in his head, and he felt his throat lie heavy in his mouth.
"You're lying.. " He said softly.
Taehyung stopped touching his hand, pulling back.
"What do you mean? "
"If you were capable of hating me, you would have hated me in the last three years of our marriage. " He said firmly. " Not now when I'm trying to fix this for us. "
Taehyung made to move away but Jungkook held him close, wrapping his arms tight around his shoulder.
"I heard you out. I listened to what you said...So you... You need to hear me out now, Taehyung. It's only fair... "
"I don't... "
"Yes you do... You do need to hear it."
"If you were trying to guard your love from everyone, if you were trying to hide it... You were doing a bad job of it, Taehyung. Because I could see it from day one. " He said honestly. " It wasn't something I didn't want... It was something I just couldn't afford. " He sighed.
"I had a boyfriend Tae. Someone I had known all my life. Someone older and someone I trusted. And when he told me that you were wrong for liking me, knowing I was already in a relationship, I believed him blindly. It was my fault. I accept that. I was young . "
"I did what he asked me to, and I never spoke up when my friends gave you a hard time . Not because I agreed with them but because I was terrified of change. I felt things for you that terrified me and I didn't want to leave the safety net that was Yoongis familiarity. "
"And by the time I was old enough to see Yoongis insecurities and untruths for what they were, it was already too late. My mind had been pretending to not care for so long, I didn't know how to change my feelings anymore. " He bit his lips. " And then we had that party and.. "
"I was watching you the entirely night.. " He admitted finally, his heart aching as he voiced the truth he had been denying the whole time, the one he had suppressed for so long, the one he had been too ashamed to admit. " Yoongi broke up with me that morning and then..
You were there in that party that night and you looked so fucking beautiful and I remember saying that to some giy next to me... I said it out loud and it was such a relief because Yoongi wouldn't even let me think it... " He licked his lips " And I remember thinking maybe
This is a sign...to ask you out..." He ran a hand over his face. " But then everything that happened afterwards, it just... It fucked me up so bad, Tae. You were there with your mother and she was screaming that I'd gotten you pregnant and you weren't denying it
And it was like my heart just shattered because you weren't denying it, although I knew it wasn't true at all. And I couldn't believe it... Because I was so sure that you would never do something like that... You were too good and pure to do something like that..
But you did. "
"Ans Yoongi was there saying how he knew all along you were after me and I wanted to prove him wrong, wanted to shout that you wouldn't do something like that but... But you wouldn't tell me the truth. You wouldn't speak to me at all. And it just made me question everything. "
"I wanted to do it. I wanted to say fuck it and tell everyone that I couldn't marry you, no way in hell... But then I overheard my mother mention how your mother had threatened to disown you if you had the baby out of wedlock and... I couldn't do it. I couldn't let that happen"
"So I lied. " He said shakily. " I lied to my parents that maybe I did sleep with you. Maybe the baby really was mine. And I was ready to raise them too, Taehyung. I would have done it ..as long as you didn't end up having your life destroyed, I would have done anything. "
Taehyung made a small noise of disbelief.
"Itbwas my fucking fault for building castles in the fucking air... I started thinking about it too much, about being a father... About being with you... " He bit his lips. " I forgave you before you ever apologized. "
"I imagined a life that I was never meant to have... " He hesitated " And then you told me you had a miscarriage and I couldn't process it. It hurt me Taehyung. " He said honestly, " You must know this. Lying to me about losing a baby... You shouldn't have... "
" And of all the things that happened, that was what broke my heart the most. " He said shakily. " I couldn't imagine someone who would lie about something like that... Being a good person. I just couldn't. And it was easier to ignore you than think of what you had done to me. "
"Because like you said, there's nothing worse than love that turns into hate. " He laughed shakily. " And that was what would have happened with us. "
( authors note : this was too intense.. I need a break)
( I hope you guys enjoyed it this took a toll on me.)
They sat in silence, both of them worn out, not just from the conversation, but from years of hiding their own feelings. Taehyung in particular couldn't take in what he had just heard, because if what Jungkook said was true, he had quite possibly broken both their hearts
With his cowardice. He had always been a weak and cautious person, balking at the idea of taking chances. Hope wasn't something he had had growing up, and faith in people, as far as he knew only led to disappointment. He stared at Jungkook who spoke his heart without reticence.
They were nothing alike, he thought with a shudder.
"I... I am sorry for what I did. " He said shakily. " I didn't know that you.. " He bit his lips. " That you wanted to get to know me. "
Jungkook was warm and solid around him, and he felt brave for the first time in his life.
"Did you really think you were... " Jungkook trailed off and Taehyung felt a familiar ache inside him.
"Can I be honest? " He said shakily, and the alpha hummed behind him. " I was certain that I was. " He trembled a little at the memory of it. " I took those tests and..
It never occurred to me that they could be wrong. " He sighed, shaking his head again. " I was a fool. I should have trusted you but I was scared you were lying because you didn't want anything you do with me. " He admitted.
Jungkook snorted behind him.
" For someone who claims to have loved me, you sure are quick to believe the absolute worst about me. " He said drily.
Taehyung didn't respond.
"Don't you remember anything from that night, Tae? " The alpha asked quietly making him tremble a little.
"Whenever I try to, " He said softly, " I can't breathe. It's like something just comes to life inside my chest, starts choking me and I feel like I'm dying. It's like walking into a roomful of cobwebs, you're frightened but you don't have any idea why. " He sighed.
Jungkook ran his hands up an down his arms, calming him down just a little.
"Did you come to the party to meet me? " He asked quietly.
Taehyung hesitated before nodding again.
"I got that text which you didn't send. " He laughed awkwardly, " And I wasn't going to talk to
You or Anything like that. I wouldn't dare to you know, with Yoongi there... But I just wanted to see you. One last time. Because graduation meant leaving Seoul and going back to Daegu. " He squeezed his own knees. " I was sure I would never see you again. "
"And you were fine with that? With never seeing me again? " Jungkook asked quietly..
Taehyung couldn't help but laugh at that.
"You make it sound like I had a choice in the matter. There were no choices when it came to loving you, Jungkook. There was nothing except this
Feeling of hurtling at breakneck speed towards a pool of hurt.I had no control over any aspect of it. I didn't know how to stop loving you, I didn't have the courage to tell you about it and I was too scared too tell anyone else. It was my own personal hell that I built myself. "
"There was one time I came close to confessing, which is when I heard that you broke up with Yoongi. At the ime I didn't know that it was hustt something you guys did, breaking up and getting back together. I thought this was maybe a chance for me so I followed you after lunch..
And I ended up seeing you with Yoongi. " He sighed, looking around at the alpha with guilt. " He was showing you something on his arm and you were crying and I.. Stood there for a while but then you guys started kissing.. So I left. " He breathed out. " It hurt a lot. "
Jungkook was quiet for a second.
"Can I trust you to keep a secret? " Jungkook said shakily.
"What is it? "
"Yoongi.... He was being abused by his dad. " Jungkook whispered. Taehyung felt his entire body go ice cold. At the words.
"What? " He gasped, shocked.
Taehyung scrambled to his knees turning around so he could face Jungkook who was staring down at him with despondent eyes.
"The man is in prison now. So its alright. " The alpha said quietly. " But back then there wasn't much I could do for him except to be there for him. "
Tw : parental abuse
"No one knows. " Jungkook said quietly. " Not even Yoongis mother. I think Hoseok hyung knows but I'm not sure..... It was only verbal and physical at first... But then.. When we started college, Yoongi told me his father was looking
At him quite differently and it made him feel dirty. I didn't know what to do because Yoongi told me I wasn't allowed to tell anyone anything. And then... About two weeks later he broke up with me. He wouldn't tell me why. " Jungkook sighed. " But I kind of understood. "
"I knew he needed help but he wouldn't let me help him. I even offered to marry him you know... So he could leave that house. He refused. He would call me at all hours to talk and I always listened to him but then he would ghost me for days. I didn't know what to do...
I guess at some point I realized I wasn't what he needed. He needed help. Professional help. From people who understood things like this. It wasn't fair to use me like a crutch every time he was hurting than toss me aside afterwards. " Jungkook sighed. " It was painful. "
Taehyung shuddered a little.
"I don't know what to feel anymore. " He said shakily. " It all feels like too much. God I used to think the worst of him... I hated him and I.. "
"Hey.. " Jungkook reached out and gently cupped his face, " His trauma was no excuse to hurt you. "
Taehyung pulled away from his touch, shaking his head.
"It's... No wonder he hated me. I was trying to take away the only support he had. "
"You weren't Taehyung... You didn't do anything of the sort.. "
"And I still am. " Taehyung said shakily. " You... Did you break up
With him because of me? " He blinked wide eyes at the alpha who looked stunned.
"What are you talking about? " He reached for him again and Taehyung moved away again.
"If he needs you, you can't.. " He looked around, guilt churning inside him, " I shouldn't be here... "
Jungkook made a noise of impatience, reaching out and grabbing both his wrists, tugging him closer till their faces were inches apart.
"For the love of God, could you just stop blaming yourself for every fucking thing thats wrong with the world? ! " The alpha growled.
Tae blinked before glaring at him.
"How can you say that? You claim to love him and you just... You left him just like that."
"Tae what exactly do you think loving someone entails? " Jungkook demanded, voice low but serious. " Love has to be mutual. It wasn't with him and I. "
"Are you saying he fell out of love with you. that can't be true.. He still looks at you like you're the most important thing and I know he wants you back in his life.. And I know that you... "
"I'm the one who fell out of love Tae... " Jungkook sighed, looking him in the eye.
Taehyung went still, eyes narrowing into slits.
"Lies." He muttered sharply. " Upto a few weeks ago, I heard you on the phone with him. You always talk to him like he holds your entire heart... "
"You understood all that from one phone call? "
" One? " Taehyung scoffed. " What about the countless times you would run at his every beck and call. You can't hide that from me Jungkook, I lived with you for three years.. "
"So in those three years did you ever realize I actually worked with him? I didn't run at his beck and
Call , I did my fucking job, Taehyung.. " He snapped back and the omega tried to yank his hands away, only for Jungkook to yug him closer, " I told you not to run away when I'm fucking talking to you.. It's the worst thing about you and it makes me want to... "
"Makes you want to.. What? " Taehyung glared, tugging his arm again, wincing because Jungkooks hold was like a vice. " Let me go... "
"Not before you tell me what exactly has you so fucking mad right now?? We were talking... I told you what happened between me and Yoongi... "
"And I told you what I think... So. Let me go.. " He whimpered a little when Jungkook bought his wrists together gripping them with one hand before curling his other hand around his waist.
"You think I should just stay with him, because I used to love him, no matter how
He treats me? Is that what you think? "
Tae panted, slightly out of breath from trying to get away from him.
"You're an adult " He said finally, exhausted. " You can do whatever you want. Now let me go. " He demanded.
Jungkook's eyes narrowed at that.
"What did you say? "
Taehyung went still, the change in Jungkooks voice and tone enough to get his senses on alert. He felt his eyes widen a little as Jungkook leaned into him, nostrils flaring a little, pupils dilating a bit.
" Jungkook, the suppressants... Did you at least buy them? "
Jungkook hummed, bringing Taehyung's wrists down in front of his chest, one hand reaching up to cup his face.
" Forget what I want to do with Yoongi. " He said softly, " And tell me what I'm allowed to do with you. " He paused, " Or should I say, do to you... "
Taehyung blinked caught off guard by the desire in Jungkooks tone. He had never heard it before and the depth of it surprised him. He licked his lips, only a little scared as he cleared his throat.
"Jungkook... You need to let me go." He said quietly and the alpha hummed.
"Why? So you can run again? I told you not to run away from me. " He growled. " I don't like it. "
Taehyung grimaced. Was this how alphas were during their ruts?
"I won't run. I promise. "
Jungkook narrowed his eyes at him before slowly letting go of him.
When he tried to move, Jungkook grabbed his waist with both hands, stopping him at once.
"You said you wouldn't run. " Jungkook pointed out.
"There's a difference between running and climbing off the bed. I just want to climb off the bed and change my clothes. "
Taehyung wanted to cry, flinching as Jungkook's hand found its way under his shirt.
"You're wearing my clothes. I like that. So don't take them off. " Jungkook grunted. " Can I scent you.? "
"Where are the suppressants?" Taehyung asked quietly, ignoring his question.
"I don't need them. I have you. "
see you guys tomorrow
Jungkook had never considered how lithe Taehyung was, body slender, but tall. He was just a little taller than the alpha himself, which is why it was a bit of a struggle tugging him onto his lap. Taehyung looked shocked, eyes wide as he stared at him.
There was a fog settling over his senses, a clawing need scratching it's way to the surface of his skin. He felt stretched thin, like an elastic band on the verge of snapping, his blood burning hot and sweat beading on his forehead. He was already half hard , skin flushed.
Taehyungs skin felt cool to his touch, soothing against his burning hot skin, and he slipped both his hands up under his shirt, curling his hand around the omegas midriff, fingers splayed. He ran his fingers up and down his sides, basking in his touch.
He glanced up.
His hands moved up , thumbs stroking circles on Taehyung's skin as he rolled his hips up on to the space between his thighs and Taehyung squeaked.
"Okay, hold up, this is not what we're gonna do. " The omega choked out scrambling as if he was going to run and no.
No, just no.
"What do you mean no? " He frowned, " You're mine, now. "
Taehyung gawked at him.
"That's not how it works. " He said sharply, " That's not how.. "
Not liking what he was saying, Jungkook shut him off the only way he knew how.
Slotting his lips over Taehyung's.
Tae stayed frozen for a second, and Jungkook slowed down a little, teeth nibbling gently on the soft, plush lower lip, tugging softly. He moved his hand up his chest, thumbing gently at the small, perky bud there, rubbing until Tae seemed to melt a little into him.
He felt Taehyung move, shifting closer, his hands moving from his shoulder to his bare chest. He groaned, the touch of his fingers cool against his heated skin, and he wanted that feeling all over him. His arousal soared so fast he felt a little light headed, trembling a little.
He pulled away, trailing kisses up his jaw, tasting his sweetness, and Taehyung cupped his face with gentle hands, cradling his face as he pressed kisses down to his collar bone, nipping the skin to mark him up.
"Jungkook.. " Taehyung whispered and the alpha hummed,
Taehyungs sweet voice made him pause. He felt his nerves sing a little, the low deep tone of it, and he smiled into his skin, trailing more open mouthed kisses along the curve of his neck.
"Say it again. " Jungkook whispered, licking into the small dip of his collar bone.
"Alpha, " Taehyung breathed out again, a small hitch in his voice, his fingers moving upnto thread through Jungkook's thick hair.
Jungkook grinned before pulling back son he could stare at him.
"My alpha. " He said gently. " Say it. "
Taehyung looked hurt for some reason.
"Are you? " Taehyung asked softly, and Jungkook frowned. What did that mean? He narrowed his eyes at him, hands curling around his arm and squeezing.
"Of course I am. I am yours and you are mine. Mine and no one else's. " He growled.
Tae smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.
"You mean that? " Taehyung whispered and Jungkook stared at him, confused, the foggy arousal in his head only intensifying, now laced with worry because why didn't his omega trust him? Why would he lie about something like that?
He pulled him closer, hugging him tight.
Taehyung chuckled against his shoulders, hugging him closer, hands stroking his back, gentle and comforting.
"Okay, Jungkook. "Tae said shakily, " I'll trust you. "He took a deep breath. " Because thats important right. Trust? "
Jungkook nodded though he didn't understand.
Taehyung pulled back from him and Jungkook watched as the omega cupped his face softly, thumb stroking his cheeks.
"You probably won't remember this, so I'll tell you now. " Taehyung said shakily. " I love you. No matter how much I don't want to, I do."
Jungkook blinked at him.
Taehyung leaned in then, pressing a small, soft kiss to his forehead. His lios lingered, and Jungkook felt something damp drip onto his shoulders.
When Taehyung pulled back his eyes were red rimmed.
"I trust you. " He said softly, " Do you trust me Jungkook? "
Jungkook stared up at him, reaching for him desperately, wanting him close again, but Tae pressed a palm to his chest.
"Do you ? " He demanded. " I can't do this unless you trust me, Jungkook. "
Jungkook glanced down at his knees.
"Why wouldn't I trust you? You're mine. "
"Good.... " Taehyung took a deep breath, before gently pulling Jungkook's hand off his waist. " I'm going to go out for a second. " He said softly.
Jungkook frowned, already moving towards him but the omega pressed a palm to his chest.
"You said you trusted me, Jungkook. "
Jungkook stared at him, torn. Of course he trusted him but he didn't want him to leave. But he couldn't make his omega think he doubted him. That was a terrible thing to do.
"Okay." He said softly. " You'll be back at once right? "
"You won't even notice I'm gone. "
"Okay." Jungkook pulled away from him. " But don't take off my shirt. You have to smell like me. " He said firmly
Taehyung looked surprised but nodded.
"I won't take it off. " He paused. " I like wearing it you know. "
Jungkook perked up at that.
"I'll be back."
Taehyung stepped out of the room locking it gently behind him, his heart hammering against his chest so fast he felt like it would give out right then. He wasn't going to think about what had just happened.
He took a deep breath, reaching for his phone.
The phone rang for a few seconds and the voice on the other end made him choke a little.
"Taehyung? " Mr. Jeons voice carried over the line, " Son, is that you? What's wrong? "
Taehyung trembled a little, dressed in just the shirt and tiny shorts. The ocean breeze was cold.
( why tf would he call yoongi? They don't even like or talk to Each other.. I swear to God...
( but since you wanted pain brace yourselves. Be back in ten mins.)
"Mr.Jeon... " He paused, and the man cleared his throat pointedly making him flush a little.." Sorry...Dad.. I just...I'm in trouble. Jungkook didn't take his suppressants and I think his rut came in early. I don't know what I'm supposed tondo.. I don't think he has any here.. "
"Wait.. Tae slow down... Where is here? Where are you? Are you back in the room? "
"He's inside. I'm out on the walkway leading to the cabins. It's late so no one's here and I don't know whether they give them here without a prescription for it.. " He whispered.
"Okay, Tae listen carefully alright? " Mr. Jeon said softly, if his rut is already there, those suppressants aren't going to be of any use to him. They only prevent it , they can't stop it once it's there. Is he alone? "
Taehyung felt icy cold.
"Yes. I'm going to go back in."
"What... No. Taehyung. You can't go back in there. He has a hard enough time when he's on his suppressants.... It'll be much worse now. You have to stay of that room. You cannot go in there at any cost. I forbid it. " He said sharply.
" You may think you're helping Taehyung, but I know my son. If something happened, if he hurt you somehow he will never forgive himself for it. You can't do that to him. " He said desperately, " Please don't do that to him Taehyung. I'm begging you. "
Taehyung closed his eyes, biting his lips. All he could remember was telling Jungkook he could trust him. That no matter what he would be back.
"He .. He's waiting for me. I told him I'll be back... I can't.. I can't just leave him by himself... " He whispered, shaking.
" I'll call up the resort and ask then to send him some food. It's unfortunate, but he's going to have to ride this one out, Taehyung. I'm sorry.. He should have been more careful. It's not like him to forget I don't know how he did. " He sighed. "We'll move you to another room."
"Mr Jeon.. " He whispered, " I.. I can help him. " He said shakily. " I'm not scared of him. ... " His voice trembled skin icy cold and nerves frayed. " Please don't ask me to just leave him by himself.."
"Tae, my son cannot consent. " Mr. Jeon said softly. " It's not right. "
Taehyung felt the fight leave out of him at the words, knees buckling a bit as he sank to the ground, shaking.
His own hormones had hone haywire with Jungkook touching him so much, kissing him like that. He felt overwhelmed and terrified.
"He'll be fine, Taehyung. "
"I'll take the first flight out. " Mr. Jeon was saying although the omega wasn't listening. " I'll be there by morning alright . I'll take care of him. You don't have to worry. He'll be good as new in two days . It's not the end of the world Taehyung. Are you with me, son? "
It may not be the end of the world, Taehyung thought shakily, but it would be the end of whatever fragile little trust they had built up between each other.
Because Taehyung had promised.
And Jungkook was waiting for him.
But what Mr. Jeon had said was seared into his mind. Jungkook was vulnerable. He had kissed him and said so many things that he probably didn't mean. What if he wanted more.. What if Taehyung gave in, the way he always gave in. He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering.
He thought about what had happened. The way it had felt to be kissed by him. How he had melted into his arms, like a taste of heaven that had always been out of reach. He had chased after his lips, desperate.
He realized, shakily, that it wasn't about trusting Jungkook.
Taehyung didn't trust himself anymore.
Taehyung realized that didn't matter, if Jungkook remembered it or not..
Because he himself would.
He would remember that if Jungkook was in his right mind, he wouldn't want this. He would remember that none of it was real. That it would be him taking advantage of the alpha.
And he couldn't live with himself knowing he had done something so unforgivable.
"Taehyung... " Mr. Jeons voice broke through his conscience. " Are you there? Tae.. I need you to answer me. "
"I'm here, dad. " He whispered. " I won't.. I won't go in. "
He felt numb.
"Good. That's good. Just stay there alright. Mrs Jeon is trying to reach the hotel. They'll send someone to fetch you. Right away. "
Taehyung couldn't respond, hanging up the phone and gripping the wall. He leveraged himself up before moving to the door. He knocked on it, twice.
Once and then again. Over and over till he smelled Jungkook, right on the other side, his scent strong and potent.
"Tae." The alphas voice came from the other side and Taehyung flinched when Jungkook rattled the doorknob. " Tae what are you doing, come in. "
He bit his lips.
He couldn't quite catch his breath, his heart beating wild as he tried to think of something, anything that would soften the blow. It didn't matter if Jungkook remembered this in the morning, just knowing that he was going to hurt him, even for a second, it was excruciating.
Because Taehyung knew how it felt to have his heart broken, he knew the feeling of worthlessness that came with people breaking his trust, how much it ached to have people treat him like he didn't matter.
And he wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy, let alone the man he loved.
"Jungkook... " He said shakily. " I can't. I can't come in. "
Jungkook didn't respond for a second.
"What do you mean you can't? " His voice was slurred, breaking a little. " I.. I feel weird, Tae... It's.. Where am I? What is this place? "
Taehyung felt his breath catch at that, fingers curling into fists on the floor, nails scratching the wooden deck.
"Jungkook we're here in Jeju... We came here for a shoot but you.. You're going through your rut... "
Jungkook was panting, and Taehyung felt his heart clench.
"I don't have ruts.. " Jungkook slurred, " Suppressants... I.. I take those.. Tae... Can you come in... I wanna see you.. " The sound of Jungkook stumbling into something made the omega jump.
"Jungkook , your father's on the way. " He choked out, hoping it would diatract him.
The door shook a little and Jungkook's voice came from closer to the ground. Taehyung realized the alpha was sitting on the floor, the door between them.
" Tae... Taehyung.... Please just... I need to see you. " Jungkook whispered.
Was this normal ?! Why did he sound ill?
" I can't come in. " He said softly. " You.. You're not yourself right now Jungkook.... You need to... Go back to the bed... Lie down for a while... "
Thr sound of retching made him freeze.
"Jungkook??! " He cried out, stunned.
" Fuck." The alphas voice was barely a whisper.
The sound of footsteps made him jump and he turned, watching three men make their way over, one of them holding a tray.
"Mr. Kim, we heard about what happened, we have-"
" He's sick. " Taehyung said sharply, before reaching for the door but the man grabbed his wrist.
" Mr. Kim, we are going to need you to come with us. We have another room and-"
Taehyung snarled, yanking his hand away but the man wouldn't let go.
" Are you insane... That my husband in there. " He growled. " He's sick I need to see him! Let go of me, right now! "
"He's not sick... " The taller man in the suit said calmly. " He's just going through his rut.. He'll be fine. We have strict orders to have you escorted safely out of here. We'll take care of Mr. Jeon.."
Taehyung couldn't understand what was happening as he struggled.
" Mr. Kim, I understand you're worried but you need to be calm. Your father in law spoke to us and we have physicians at hand... If something goes wrong.. "
"Something is already wrong . Open the damned door and you'll know! "
Taehyung heard the thump of something hitting the door and all of them froze. The man holding him let go, clearly surprised and Taehyung dived for the door, pushing it open with his heart in his throat.
The door only opened halfway, coming to a stop as it hit Jungkooks body.
"Jungkook.... " Tae fell to his knees, crawling over to him, tugging his body into his arms, eyes going wide as he realized he was unconscious. There was small pool of vomit on the side and Taehyung pressed his wrist to Jungkooks mouth, cleaning it up.
" Jungkook... Ggukie.. "
He glared up at the men who stood frozen by the door.
"What the fuck are you doing?!! Help him up! We need to get him to a hospital! " He screamed. His voice seemed to startle them out of their trance and they rushed over reaching for the alpha.
It took a bit of maneuvering but they managed to carry him up to the couch, while one of the men called for a vehicle. Taehyung held the aloha close cradled against his chest, pressing desperate kisses to his hair, trying not to think of how cold he was to the touch.
"You're okay... You're going to be okay... " He exhaled , pressing kisses to his brow, sweat damp and icy. His hand reached for Jungkooks, and it felt surreal, to see them limp, instead of reaching for his own. He gripped Jungkooks hand sobbing .
"Mr. Kim... The ambulance is here. " One of the men said gently and Taehyung had to move back, as they carefully lifted him off the couch.
"We have an in-house medic in the ambulance. They'll check him while we take him to the-"
"I'm coming with you. "
The hospital was small but clean. It was one in the morning and Taehyung was the only one in the hallway, dressed in almost nothing, with his eyes swollen and limbs shaking.
He felt on the verge of collapse. He hadn't eaten anything in a while and his head ached.
The chair he sat on was made of metal cold and uncomfortable and the sterile smell of antiseptic, the dull hum of the machines, all of them made him want to puke. He felt groggy and anxious for some reason. His body thrumming with nervous energy.
Jungkook was inside the room right in front of him and the doctor was with him. They had asked him to wait for a second. They would let him in soon. The omega couldn't stay still, feet tapping nervously as he tried not to think of Jungkooks face, pale and ill.
When the door opened, Taehyung scrambled to his feet in a panic.
" He's alright. " The man said quickly, holding a hand up placatingly. " It's alright, Mr Kim. He's going to be perfectly fine. Please don't worry. "
Taehyung felt a lump in his throat.
"Is.. Is he awake? "
"He's sedated" The man said gently. " Your husband had a small seizure, Mr Kim. It's nothing to worry about... He was on suppressants and missed a doze? " He asked sternly.
"I see. Its possible he needs them a lot more than the average alpha. "
Taehyung felt faint.
"A seizure?? " He whispered" That.. That doesn't sound right..Why? "
"I can't say right away. I would need to do more tests and well, since you guys are from Seoul, I'll give you references and you can have him checked out. For now he's fine. "
Taehyung felt his head start to pound, his eyes growing heavy with exhaustion.
" I think it's a good idea to wean him off suppressants. " The doctor continued. " Why is he still on them? Aren't you married to each other? "
"Long story. "
"You look dead on your feet, Mr. Kim. " The doctor said gently. "Have you eaten anything? You look pale. "
Taehyung shook his head and the doctor made a noise of disapproval.
"How are you going to take care of your alpha if you don't take care of yourself first? " He said.
As Taehyung lay down on the stiff mattress of the hospital bed, he felt uneasy without knowing why. His eyes fluttered shut and he heard the steady beep of Jungkooks pulse monitoring machine.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
He felt a spark of anxiety.
It was so... scary.
He rolled around a bit trying to settle into the uncomfortable bed and the stench of antiseptic made him gag a little. His skin felt cold. His heart racing for no reason.
He closed his eyes tighter.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
He was in danger. He had to get out of here.
But his limbs wouldn't move. He couldn't move. It was like someone had tied weights bto them holding him down.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
And there it was the scent of almonds, cloyingly sweet and nauseating.
Footsteps. Voices. Someone touching him.
He had to get away.
Nausea churned inside his gut, his body reacting violently as he tried to get himself to move, pulse skyrocketing and sweat breaking out all over his body. Mouth dry with terror, he clenched his fists, trying to get himself to wake up.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
But it wasn't a dream.
It was the demon who had haunted him for years. The one he ran from every night. And here at his most vulnerable, it had finally caught up to him.
When I planned this fic, this was the point where the genre shifts from angst to heavy angst.
The trigger warnings are to be taken very seriously. I told you guys it would be as realistic as possible and the truth is real life can be absolutely terrifying .
“Mr. Min, I’m sorry. We don’t allow visitors at this hour, not even family. And even if we did, Mr. Jeon is under heavy sedation, you won’t be able to meet him or talk to him I strongly suggest you head back for now and come see him in the morning.”
Yoongi paced the length of the counter, hands shaking just a little, face damo with sweat. He glared at the woman behind the counter, blowing air out of his lips as he tried to calm himself down.
“Listen, I told you, I’m family. He knows me and I… He’s really, really, important to me alright? I was supposed to be meeting him tonight and he didn’t turn up and I had to go all the way to the place where he was staying and I found out he’s in the hospital and …
don’t you understand the kind of stress I’m under? Do you know what it feels like to have someone you love, in a hospital room, in God knows what state and then they just don’t let you go see him? Are you being fair to me right now?”
He demanded, face flushed red as the woman gave him an exasperated look.
“Mr. Min, its not like Mr. Jeon is alone. He’s with his husband…”
“He’s not his…” Yoongi snarled, stopping halfway to run a palm over his face. “ Listen. Please. I’ve known him since we were babies. Literally. Just … Just let me go see him alright. I won’t even go in...I just want to look at him, just see his face…please.”
The woman, underpaid and overworked, finally seemed to decide that it wasn’t worth the hassle to fight him. She sighed deeply before mentioning the room number and the floor.
“If his husband allows you to, you can go see him inside.” She said finally and Yoongi exhaled in relief, turning on his heel and rushing to the elevators. He sank back against the metal walls, as soon as he was inside. Pulse pounding.
This was why Jungkook needed him, he thought feverishly. They needed each other to stay safe, to stay sane. Yoongi hadn’t been eating well, or sleeping the past few weeks, after Jungkook had cut him off.
Maybe it was the same for Jungkook. Yes. Of course. Jungkook loved him. He couldn’t possibly live without him. He knew that. The alpha didn’t give a shit about Kim Taehyung. And he was going to help him get rid of the omega once and for all.
He was going to tell Jungkook he loved him, that he would quit his career if that’s what Jungkook wanted.
He remembered the many times Jungkook had brought up loving children and Yoongi had always scoffed, explaining how he couldn’t ruin his body like that because he was a model.
But now he didn’t care. If Jungkook wanted babies, they could have babies. All Yoongi wanted was the warmth of his embrace at the end of the day. A safe place. There was no place safer than the alpha’s arms and he belonged there.
He would hold onto him, apologize for everything, forgive him for everything and they would start fresh. Yes, a fresh start would do them good. They could even leave Korea. Start somewhere else. Jungkook was so talented. He had to get the alpha away from his parents first.
They were awful, awful people. Always accusing him of taking advantage of Jungkook. As if. Jungkook was happy when he was with him.
They had been together and no matter how many mistakes Yoongi made, Jungkook understood that he didn’t mean them.
He always stuck by him. Even when Yoongi hurt him. Sometimes the omega had tried testing him. He had to do it. He didn’t enjoy it but how else was he going to know if Jungkook loved him. He would break up with him sometimes. He would accuse him of cheating.
Just to see if Jungkook had a breaking point. If he would draw the line somewhere… But the alpha never did. He always came back to him.
And wasn’t that true love? Staying by their side even when they hurt you? Jungkook loved him.
He loved him truly madly and deeply. He was happy doting on him and taking care of him.
So what exactly was their problem? They were just jealous, because no matter how much they asked the alpha to break up with him, Jungkook never did. Yoongi smiled, smug at the reminder.
If he could tackle those two, he could certainly tackle Kim Taehyung.
Taehyung with his pretty face and beautiful body. Taehyung who thought he could just waltz in and destroy something Yoongi had built up for years.
He would never let that happen.
Jeon Jungkook was his.
And he would never, ever let him go.
AS the elevator door opened, Yoongi realized that this was the VIP section and there was just one room in the entire hallway.
He frowned, stepping out into the corridor only to freeze in his tracks when he heard the sounds coming from inside the room.
“No… No… Don’t.. No…No…”
Yoongi felt the blood in his veins turn to ice, his body freezing in place.
The sounds that came from inside the room sounded loud, inhumane. Like someone was being killed in there. And Yoongi, he recognized the phrases, the desperation, the fear there. He recognized it because he had lived it, over and over in his head and in his dreams.
He took a step back as the voice went weaker, a groan , a whimper.
That was Taehyung wasn’t it?
Kim Taehyung was the one who was in there with Jungkook. So , why was the omega….
He felt cold all over.
No, it couldn’t be. If it was, Jungkook would know.
And if Jungkook knew he would have told him.
But that voice… that desperation, the fear and the anguish….
There was no mistaking it. It was the sound of helplessness,
of wanting to fight but not being able to,
of trying to protect yourself but knowing you can't.
The click of the door made him jump, and the door opened , revealing a catatonic Taehyung, eyes wild , pupils blown, lips bitten bloody and hands reaching out in desperation. He watched as the omega stumbled out into the hallway, barefoot and when their eyes met, Yoongi knew.
He didn’t know how, but he just knew.
“Taehyung…” He breathed out and the omega stared at him, eyes glassy and a small rivulet of blood running down his chin.
“Please…” his voice was a soft mewl. “ Which is the way out? I have to get out. Get out... Before they find me.”
Yoongi felt cold , horror disbelief and empathy warring inside him. He hated Taehyung.
But he had been through this himself. And he wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
He held a hand out.
“Taehyung…” He breathed out shakily, his hand shaking as he reached out. “ Taehyung they’re gone.” He said softly. “ You’re okay. You’re safe.”
The omega wasn’t looking at him at all, his eyes staring at him but also through him.
“I need a ride.” He was saying, words slurred and broken, “ to the dorm…”
Yoongi stared at him.
“Taehyung… do you know where we are…”
The omega was staring at him, blinking in languid exhaustion.
“Party… the party.. I… I came to the party..” he licked his lips. “ I … drank…”
Party? Had there been a party tonight? What was Taehyung talking about?
“Were you at a party? Did someone try to hurt you?” He asked feverishly, heart racing.
Taehyung choked on a sob.
“I just wanted to say goodbye.” HE whispered, “ to Jungkook.”
Yoongi flinched at the name.
“What do you mean.. Good bye ? What… Where are you going?”
“Home.” Taehyung blinked again.” College is over. So now we go home.”
The pieces fell into place so fast and so hard that Yoongi staggered, stumbling back and hitting the wall.
The party. College.
Was Taehyung having a nightmare about the night of the party. He stared at the omega, confused and disoriented and terrified.
Did people have dreams like this? So vivid and that they thought it was reality?
“I wanted to leave but he…” Taehyung was swaying a little. “ I wanted to push but.. the bear… It was there…”
“A bear?” Yoongi felt his heart racing. “ There was a bear.?”
“Leaning on a tree… It.. smelled like almonds and…”
Taehyung stopped, eyes fluttering shut and a second later he was falling. Yoongi dived across the space between them, barely managing to catch him, but the weight of him was too much .
Yoongi grunted, landing hard on the floor with Taehyung in his arms. The omega had passed out, sweaty and cold all over and Yoongi stared at him, something closing around his heart, a fist made of iron, squeezing the organ till he felt like he would die.
No, he thought shakily.
It couldn’t be. Had someone hurt Taehyung? Was the omega remembering something that had happened?
He had no doubt that Taehyung wouldn't remember any of this when he came to.
And that meant Yoongi would have to.
He tried to remember what he had just heard and scrambled to grab his phone, opening his notes and typing feverishly. What had Taehyung just said?
They… Who was they? More than one person.
Trying to get out… was he trapped somewhere.
And the bear leaning against the tree.
What on earth did that mean?
He groaned, pulling away from under the taller omega, wincing as every muscle in his body protested. He hesitated, before shrugging off his jacket, folding it into a lump and placing it under Taehyung’s head.
He stood up on shaky legs before moving to the intercom phone in the shelf in front of him.
“Hello. Please…just I need help.” He exhaled.
When Taehyung came to himself, the room was blindingly bright. He blinked a few times, trying to get over the throbbing pain at the base of his skull. He tried to move his arm but it felt heavy, and when he licked his lips, they stung.
"Tae? Son? "
His voice was dry and scratchy, his throat aching as he tried to catch his breath. Where was he? What happened?
He couldn't remember much, beyond the doctor telling him that Jungkook had had a seizure.
"Where's Jungkook? " He choked out making her sigh.
"He's resting. Taehyung, do you remember what happened last night? "
"I... I think I had a nightmare... " He said shakily. "I don't remember anything. "
"That's fine." She said hastily, brushing his hair off his brow." It's perfectly fine. Don't worry baby.. "
"Was someone here? " He muttered groggily, " I remember... " He hesitated, as an image floated up to the surface of hia mind. " I was in a hallway... "He trailed off when the image sank back into the murky depths of his conscience. He wasn't sure if it was real or not.
" No. "
"No one was here, Taehyung. You've been resting. Jungkook's going to be okay. He messed up a bit with the suppressants but the doctor says he's going to be fine. He just has to rest another day Or so. "
"Are we going back to Seoul? "
Mrs Jeon sighed.
"I don't know yet. "
Taehyung shifted hands brushing against a jacket, wadded up by his side. He picked it up frowning.
"This isn't mine.. " He said, confused and she reached for it quickly, taking it out of his hand.
" Oh, that's mine. " She laughed, pushing it behind her, " You should rest. "
Taehyung even in his groggy state knew it wasn't hers. It smelled nothing like her. But he was too exhausted to understand or work out what she was hiding or why.
His head throbbed and all he really wanted was to sleep.
And when he woke up he would go find Jungkook.
(Authors note : if your son spent the better part of his life in an emotionally abusive relationship, would you willingly invite the abuser back into his life?
She isn't a manipulative liar. She's a protective mother.)
"We need to talk. " Yoongi said sharply, punching Hoseok's shoulder, making the man grunt and roll over, blinking up at the omega with a frown.
"Come.on hyung... It's too early.. " He whined and Yoongi hit him again.
"Get the fuck up right now. "
He pulled himself to a sitting position, finally waking up fully from the furious look on Yoongi's face.
"Hyung what... "
" What happened to Kim Taehyung on the night of the party? " He said coldly. " And if you lie to me Hoseok, we are done. " He growled.
"What do you mean what happened to him? How the hell am I supposed to know? " He demanded, making to climb off the bed but Yoongi pushed him, hard, causing him to stumble back into the sheets.
"Cut the crap. You sent me the pictures. Tell me what you saw that night. "
"I didn't see anything. " Hoseok protested. " I didn't even know Taehyung was there at the party till I found him with Jungkook the next morning. And I sent you th pictures because I fucking care about you. " He growled.
"Hoseok." Yoongi said calmly. "This isn't a game. "
"That's rich coming from you hyung. If there's anyone who treats this whole thing as a game it's you. A game where you have to come out the winner, no matter who you hurt or harm in the process. " He scoffed. " You should be grateful I'm still here. Instead of accusing me. "
Yoongi stared at him, eyes narrowed. He wasn't sure what to believe anymore.
"So you just saw them and took the pictures? You didn't see anyone else there? You didn't see Taehyung throughout the party. "
"I didn't. If I did I would have told you. I was just hanging out. "
Yoongi ran a hand over his face.
"The party was at Lee Hana's place wasn't it. Her brother was in the same year as us. Do you know where they are? "
"Yoongi what are you even talking about? How the hell would I know where they are.. It's been three years!! "
"And it was the last party of the year, so everyone was there. You were the only one who refused to come. " Hoseok rolled his eyes. " And what exactly are you so mad about? Those two got drunk and fucked each other. That's all that happened that night. Accept it and move on."
Yoongi didn't respond, playing with the hem of his shirt. He wanted to meet Jungkook. He wanted to tell him that Hoseok was the one who had sent him the pictures. But he knew it wasn't going to be easy.
His parents were hovering around the alpha, his mother had threatened
To get a restraining order against him just because he was in the hospital next to. Taehyung. He had walked out of there without a word but he had no intention of letting this go.
"I think someone hurt Kim Taehyung, the night of the party. " He said sharply and Hoseok frowned.
"How do you-"
" Don't ask me how. I have my reasons. " He said quietly "But I'm warning you right now. If I find out you were involved in something , if you helped someone hurt him... If you hid something.... I'm going to make sure you pay for it." he whispered, eyes sharp.
Hoseok flushed, turning red.
"Strong words for a man you claim to hate. " He muttered.
"I may hate him but he's still human " Yoongi said calmly. " But if someone assaulted him, they're not human. They're monsters. And there's only one thing you do to a monster. You kill it."
Hoseok seemed at a loss for words staring at the omega who looked deathly serious.
Yoongi was staring out of the window, at the horizon, a far away look on his face.
And Hoseok for the first time, felt afraid of him.
Jungkook woke up to a damp cloth on his face, gently wiping him down. He blinked, watching the room come into. Focus, gradually. He felt like his head had been stuffed with cotton wool. He made a small noise of discomfort, and the hand near his neck stopped.
"Tae? " He whispered, voice breaking a bit as he reached for him and there was a soft chuckle.
"Should I be worried that you've already forgotten your mother's scent? "
Jungkook groaned, eyes shutting close again.
"Where's Taehyung? " He whispered.
"You think of him as soon as you open your eyes. " His father's voice came from the other side. " At least he's the same way. "
Jungkook tried to move his body but his limbs still felt heavy.
"You didn't answer my question. " He grunted.
"He's in the next room. Resting. "
Jungkook went still.
"Resting? From what? " He demanded and Mrs Jeon hushed him.
" From taking care of you what else? " She chuckled. " Jungkook, I've taught you better than to mess with your medication, what did you do? " She demanded.
The alpha groaned.
“My head hurts, really bad.” He said softly.
“The doctor says you hit it on the door when you fell.” His father said gently. “Quite a mess you go yourself into.”
Jungkook flinched, twisting a little on the uncomfortable mattress.
“I don’t know what happened last night. Everything was fine… I was … I was with Taehyung and I don’t know if I’m imagining this but he told me he loved me. I know he did. I was going to tell him that I cared for him too but then he left me.”
“You were going to what?”
“Jungkook…” His mother said sharply.
“Okay…” Mr. Jeon wrapped a hand around her shoulders, squeezing gently. “Calm down, honey.”
“Okay, forget about that…Why did you miss your meds?” Mrs Jeon asked gently.
“I don’t know.. I had a lot on my mind mom. This thing with Tae…he’s …clearly going through something and well, I’m just scared. What is he trying to suppress?” He bit his lips. “ I just want to help him.”
“Of course you do and that’s generous of you, but, did you ask Taehyung what he wants?”
“What does that mean…”
“Did you tell him how you feel?” Mrs. Jeon asked cautiously.
“I did… I told him I cared about him, that I wanted him in my life… and I don’t know why but he …he didn’t seem to believe me at all… “ Jungkook whispered, his voice breaking just a bit and the hand over his face stilled.
“I see I’ve been asking the wrong questions.” Mr. Jeon said sharply. “ Jungkook, what on earth are you doing to that boy?”
The alpha frowned, confused.
His mother turned to glare at his father.
“What dad is saying is that…you were unwell…He probably thought you weren’t in your right senses…. I don’t think he’s ever been with an alpha during his cycle before… He was probably scared. ” His mother said gently.
“There’s no reason for him to be scared. I was still conscious….And I wouldn’t have hurt him. I just wanted to see him and he just left me–“
“I asked him to leave, Jungkook.” Mr. Jeon said bluntly. “He left because I told him to leave.”
His mother made a noise of exhaustion.
“Okay, I think there’s no reason we have to talk about this now… you still need your rest, my baby…please just…”
“What do you mean you asked him to leave?” Jungkook demanded. : Why would you do that?”
Mr. Jeon sighed, moving to stand next to him and Jungkook felt him reach for his hand.
“Because he called me saying he had no idea what was going on with you. He sounded absolutely terrified and he wanted to go back in to help you.
But I knew that Taehyung was in no position to help you because he had no idea what was going on with you. And so I asked him to leave so I could get you the help you needed. Which, just so you know is how its supposed to be.
You can’t help someone when you don’t know what it is that they need help with.”
The pointed look on his father’s face made Jungkook’s annoyance flare.
“What is that supposed to mean? If you’re trying to imply that I can’t be there for Tae, that is nonsense…..Of course I can help him.,. I’ve been trying to help him…”
“How? By skipping your meds, giving him mixed signals? Confusing him completely?
You’re not doing him any favors by skipping on your meds, Jungkook. Do you realize that?”
“I just…, I just want him to be happy.” He took a deep breath. “ I want to take care of him. I want to protect him , I want to keep him safe…”
his voice grew louder with each phrase and his parents exchanged looks.
Mr. Jeon exhaled, squeezing his hand a bit before pulling a chair, drawing it close to the bed. He sat down, and leaned forward, holding his gaze steady.
“ Jungkook, I’m going to ask you something. Do you understand that people aren’t projects?”
Jungkook looked surprised. And when his face began to fall his mother intervened.
“Alright that’s enough…” His mother said sharply, “ Stop it.”
“What is that supposed to mean…” the alpha muttered, looking hurt. “I don’t.. I don’t think of him as a project…that’s..”
“You can’t make people heal at your pace.” Mr. Jeon said. “ You can’t force them to take help either. Did Taehyung at any point ask you to help him?
Has he ever shown any sign of wanting your protection…”
“I said you need to stop.” Mrs. Jeon snapped. “Now.”
Her husband glared at her, furious.
“Let me talk. He needs to hear this.” He said angrily.
“So , I’m just supposed to stand by and watch him suffer? I shouldn’t try to make him feel better?” Jungkook demanded and Mrs. Jeon turned to him, pressing a hand to his face.
“Baby, its alright. Don’t get upset okay. Taehyung and you, we know you care deeply for each other. And whatever it is, you’ll work it out, eventually. It’s going to be okay. Your father just worries for you… But, “ she turned to glare at her husband,
“ Now is not the time to be talking about these things. I want you to get better. Let’s put our energy into getting better. Nd whatever happens , we’ll support him too and -”
“I won’t let anything happen to him.” Jungkook snapped.
“You’re one of the things happening to him, Jungkook!” Mr. Jeon shouted. “ And when you realize that , you’ll understand what I’m talking about.”
Jungkook went still, the words catching him off guard.
“Dad…” He whispered, recoiling and his father cupped his face.
“Missing your meds, forgetting about your cycle… that’s not normal. No matter how much you care about him, you shouldn’t be neglecting yourself for him.
We’ve been over this. Many times. This is exactly what you did when you were with Min Yoongi. And you’re doing the same thing all over again. ”
Jungkook went completely still.
“Taehyung is nothing like Yoongi.” He said shakily. “ If that’s what you’re implying…”
“I know better than anyone that Taehyung is nothing like Yoongi. Yoongi took pride in the control he had over you, but Taehyung? It would break his heart if he knew what you’re doing to yourself over his sake.” His father snapped.
“ You say you care about him, but if you really did, you’d understand that the last thing he would want is for you to act this way.”
“I missed a med.. that’s all I did.. I didn’t…” He trailed off.
“Look at me Jungkook. It doesn’t matter if it’s Taehyung or Yoongi or someone else tomorrow. You can’t go into relationships wanting to rescue people. Wanting to help them with or without their consent.
You cannot fight someone else’s battles and you sure as hell shouldn’t be sacrificing your own wants and needs to do all of this. That’s not normal.”
“You’re exaggerating…” Jungkook whispered.
“Am I?” Mr. Jeon demanded. “ The moment you found out Taehyung was hurt somehow that night, everything in you just flipped. You cut Yoongi off after years , and how can I possibly believe its not because you think you found a replacement for him in Taehyung?
You spent a decade trying to save the Min boy, trying to protect him as you say and now you’re doing the exact same thing with Taehyung. You call me on the phone talking about wanting to be with him, about being in trouble… about catching feelings for him and I’m confused.
Because where exactly are these so called feelings coming from?
You don’t know Taehyung. You don’t know a single thing about him. You don’t know him in even the most basic of ways, Jungkook…. You don’t know what his story is…
You don’t know what the fuck he’s going through.. What he’s been through…. What on earth makes you think you’re qualified in any way to save him??”
Jungkook closed his eyes.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
He looked up and his father was on his knees on the floor, staring at him with glassy eyes.
“I’m not accusing you, my boy. I’m not blaming you either , Jungkook. You’re drawn to people in trouble. It’s because of your good heart.
It’s because you love so generously and so selflessly my baby but you cannot keep pouring from an empty fucking cup. If you do… this is how you end up. In a hospital room. You need to stop and understand what I’m saying Jungkook. Please.” He gripped his hands in a plea,
“I can’t see you go through this again. It damn near killed me the first time . Please don’t do this to us again. You have to be honest with him. If you actually want a relationship with him, it doesn’t have to be love even if it’s just friendship, it has to go both ways.
He has to want it as much as you do. And that’s not going to happen till he trusts you. And how can he trust you if what you’re showing him is not the real you?” Mr. Jeon brushed the hair off his face.
Jungkook stared at them, confused and a little disoriented .
He knew his parents would always mean well. And as much as part of him wanted to dismiss their worries, the reminded that he’d done that once, and paid a huge price for it, it kept him quiet. It made him listen.
“Jungkook ah… What your father is trying to say is this… You don’t have to buy Taehyung’s love or presence in your life. You don’t have to earn it in some way either. That wouldn’t make it a healthy or equal relationship.
Taehyung isn’t asking you to prove that you care for him. If you really do, he’ll know it anyway. And you have to remember this : Taehyung loved you and cared about you, when you gave him nothing.
You don’t have to earn his love , or prove yourself to him, just to have him in your life. So stop trying . Stop saying and doing things that you think will keep him by your side. Stop confusing him . And just take a step back and get to know him.
Show him who you are. You have to be honest with him and before that, “ she cupped his face gently.
“ You gave to be honest with yourself.”
End of Chapter 5
( A/N: I'm once again reiterating that this fic is for mature audiences only. What Tae and JK are dealing with are clinical mental health issues. I did as much research as I could to make it as authentic as possible. But if you feel like it's getting too much. Just stop reading.)
( it's alright if you guys are a little confused.. I understand the story is complex... But it is meant to show that trauma comes in many forms.
Even someone who seems so endlessly kind, put together, successful and loving like Jk can have deep rooted issues that affect them.
My initial idea was to show the difference between empathetic parenting, and toxic parenting .
But the characters sort of came to life on their own for this one. Especially JK.
Although he is raised by amazing parents, he still gets trapped in a relationship that harms him
We know JK and Yoon have been together since childhood. And Yoon has been abused since childhood. Now put an abused child in the company of a child with healthy parents : you get envy, greed. Little Yoon decides that if Jk can have everything, he'll just have Jk himself.
Yoongi begins to use Jk as an emotional crutch/ punching bag. Jk learns to shape his words and actions in a way that doesn't upset Yoon who he genuinely loves.
A toxic cycle.
As the story progresses, you'll understand more of Jungkook . And what happened between him and Yoon. And also what it is that Mr. And Mrs Jeon are scared to see repeating.
There are many secrets.
And what happened that night is just a small part of it.
I have put infinite care into building this story. It's not about two people but about life and how childhood trauma shapes you growing up.
I am nowhere close to perfect but I am doing my best.
If you could be patient and trust me, I'll take you to that happy ending
Dr. Lee Changmin had first met Jungkook , when the alpha was a young boy of twenty one. Jungkook’s father an old friend of his , had brought him home one summer evening , and the alpha had told him, very hesitantly that he had been feeling nauseous off late.
He also had trouble sleeping, a distinct lack of appetite and small episodes of breathlessness. His physical exams had come back normal. There was nothing wrong with him, healthwise. So, Jungkook’s father had brought him to Dr. Lee.
Right off the bat, Dr. Lee had recognized the very obvious signs of anxiety and depression. Jungkook’s mannerisms were careful, calculated almost, like he was scared of making the wrong move, saying the wrong thing.
Knowing how generously loving and forgiving the Jeons were, Dr. Lee had been very confused indeed. It had taken nearly eighteen months of bi weekly sessions for him to fully understand, what exactly was going on with Jungkook .
And he liked to think that they had done lot of progress over the years, even if Jungkook didn’t sit in for sessions with him anymore.
Which is why he was a little surprised when Jungkook’s father called him om a weekday, asking him to fly out to meet him in Jeju, immediately.
He had an inkling it wasn’t anything serious, but he loved the boy deeply, considered him his own, so he took the first flight out.
Jungkook was asleep when he first came in but by noon the next day, the alpha was sitting up, while his husband , sat by his side , quiet and oddly subdued.
Dr. Lee recognized him from three years ago but Taehyung didn't seem to remember him. He looked tired, he noted.
Some of his medical instincts perked up at the sight of the omega, but he stayed quiet, watching them interact ,awkward and stilted.There was tension there he realized.
Jungkook’s parents sat on the couch looking tense and worried and he felt a sense of frustration.
Parents meant well, but more often than not, they let their fears translate into words or actions that could harm their children.
“Taehyung, why don’t you come with me, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about…” Mrs. Jeon said casually and the omega looked up, curious .
Taehyung seemed to hesitate before reaching out and gently squeezing Jungkook's hand. The alpha whispered something and Taehyung nodded, before turning back to his mother in law.
Dr. Lee watched them leave, followed by Jungkook’s father and soon it was just him and Jungkook.
For a few seconds they sat in silence.
“Sorry you had to come all the way over here, Dr. Lee.” Jungkook said tiredly and Dr. Lee chuckled. He moved to settle into the chair by the bed, watching as Jungkook sat up straighter.
He looked a little thinner than the last time Dr. Lee had seen him, but otherwise seemed fine.
“Still apologizing for things that aren’t your fault? Your father was the one who wanted me to come pay you a visit.” He reached for the medical file on the side table.
“I scared them a lot, I think. They must have been really worried if they called you.” Jungkook was quiet while he perused the notes from his attending physician. “ Do you think they want me start therapy all over again?”
Dr. Lee frowned, before placing the files back on the side table again. He turned to look at the alpha a small smile on his face.
“Well, do you?” He asked casually. Jungkook seemed taken aback at the question.
“I mean, aren’t you the doctor.”
“ Yes, but you haven’t been a patient in years. “ He leaned back, “ So you tell me. Do you feel like you want to start seeing me again.”
“No but my mom and dad…”
“Jungkook ah… First of all, parents aren’t omniscient.” He said firmly. “ They like to think they know everything about their children but most of them don’t. And your parents, as much as they love you, aren’t exceptions to that.
So forget about them for a few minutes and tell mewhat happened.”
“Nothing. I mean.. I missed my suppressants. It honestly just slipped my mind. And well, I don’t know they started saying all this stuff about me doing the same thing as I did with Yoongi
and now I just replaced him with Taehyung and…”
"I see. And how do you feel about all that? ”
“I think they’re wrong.” Jungkook said sharply. “ I don’t feel anxious with Taehyung… I mean… I feel anxious for him , I feel worried for him but its not like..
he’s not the reason you know…Not how it was with Yoongi… I mean.. that’s a difference right?”
Dr. Lee stayed quiet watching as Jungkook ran a hand over his face. He sighed, looking defeated.
“But they’re right in a way. I tend to… Sometimes I just say things that I think Taehyung wants to hear.” He said softly. “ I .. .. I may have said a few things that I am not really …sure about... And well, they think I’m confusing him.
They think I don’t have real feelings for him and that I’m just playing around with him and they’re sure that Taehyung is upset and sad because of this. Confused and just… just hurt by me , I guess. ”
Dr. Lee took a deep breath.
“You know Jungkook, I’m not going to talk about Yoongi or Taehyung or about what you feel for them or what you don’t feel for them. But I am going to say this : The only person who can possibly know what Jungkook’s feelings for Taehyung are…. Is Jungkook himself. Do you agree?”
“Oh. Uh… Well..”
“And in the same way, the only one who knows how Jungkook’s words or actions make Taehyung feel …is Taehyung.” He smiled.
“ So stop letting your parents confuse you. I for one don’t think you’re in need of anything more than a small smack to the top of your head.” He changed his tone to something just a little more firm, “ your medications aren’t just for your cycle, Jungkook.
They also help regulate the neurotransmitters in your brain and keep things tidy up there, you understand that? So I want you to promise me you won’t be complacent about taking them hereafter.”
The alpha looked just a little ashamed, nodding with his eyes fixed on his feet.
“And about confusing Taehyung.. The only way to fix it is to talk to him and clear up any confusion you feel might be there. Lay out your cards. Tell him where you stand.”
“I would if I could figure it out for myself.”
Dr.Lee chuckled, before reaching out and riffling his hair.
“Jungkook, we’ve discussed this in therapy , so you probably know it already but I’m going to remind you of it nonetheless. All relationships are buildings. It doesn’t matter if its romantic, platonic or filial : the foundation has to be built on honesty and trust.
If you want something real with this boy, its important that you tell him the truth about yourself. And you can only know that if you ask yourself the very selfish question of : What do I want? ”
Jungkook stayed quiet.
“I .. I can’t.. I’m….” He trailed off. “ I can’t be fully honest with him, I’m afraid. I mean, I can’t tell him I’m under medication for my mental health.”
“Do you think he would judge you for it?” Dr Lee asked carefully.
Jungkook didn’t respond.
“If that is the case, I’m not sure you should be building any kinds of –“
“No.” The alpha said quietly. “ No, that’s not true. I .. I know he’d never judge me for something like that. It’s just.. it’s hard to admit that there’s something wrong with the most fundamental parts
of you. And well, whether he judges me for it or not, I know that he’ll change the way he sees me. I won’t be the same Jungkook anymore in his eyes. And I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that yet. ”
Dr Lee hummed.
“I see, how do you think he sees you now?"
“I don’t know. He spent a large part of our childhood seemingly in love with me but…”
“Seemingly? You don’t think he really was?”
“I mean… He didn’t know me. We hadn’t spoken and well, there wasn’t any reason for him to like me let alone love me so.. “
“So you don’t think he ever loved you?”
Jungkook held his gaze for a few seconds.
“I’m just asking how you feel about it.” Dr. Lee assured him. “ It may or may not be the truth. That is something only Taehyung will be able to answer with certainly.
I’m just asking you, what you think. So don't be too pressured about giving me a right answer. ”
“Well, I don’t think he loved me.” Jungkook said simply.
“I see. That’s fine. So according to you he didn’t see you as an object of love and affection?”
“I don’t know. Maybe an object of attraction? Maybe he was attracted to me. Yes. Well his scent was always different around me so, maybe he thought I was handsome.”
"Fair. But that was when you were young. What about now? You've lived together for 3 yrs. " He pointed out.
Jungkook looked restless again and Dr Lee waited for a few seconds. When the alpha didn't respond he nodded.
"It's alright Jungkook. We don't have to talk about it. That's fine. " He said reassuringly.
Jungkook seemed to relax just a little.
"I'm sorry. " He said shakily.
"Don't apologize kiddo. " Dr Lee ruffled his hair again. " Remember how it used to be? If it makes you uncomfortable, it gets pushed to the back till you're ready for it."
"It's not that it makes me uncomfortable... It's just... " He trailed off.
"Scares you a little? " Dr Lee prompted and Jungkook went very quiet again.
"I wasn't... A good person these 3 yrs. " Jungkook sighed. "So even if he did love me, which I don't think he did, well, these 3 yrs would have changed his mind." He said softly.
"I see. And you think telling him the truth about your mental health would further put distance between you two. "
" I just don't want him to look at me like I'm a monster. " Jungkook said quietly. " I don't think I could bear that."
"I see. " Dr. Lee nodded. " You think that
Would be the outcome of telling him the truth? "
" May I suggest an alternate outcome? Just a theory. I don't know Taehyung the way you do, so you'll have to tell me if that theory is possible. Can you do that for me? " He asked gently.
Jungkook stared at him curious.
"Perhaps if you tell him the truth about yourself, maybe he would better be able to understand your actions these past few years. And then maybe he would be able to understand you, as well. Do you think that's possible? "
Jungkook looked surprised, and Dr Lee watched him worry his lower lip between his teeth.
"I.. I suppose... " He said carefully.
"Well there you go. Why don't you give it a try then? " He smiled.
Jungkook exhaled a bit sharply.
"Like tell him everything? "
"No." Dr. Lee said simply. " That's just too much pressure on you and him. For now, think about one thing, you feel comfortable with him knowing. When you open an honest conversation, you invite trust. And once the trust builds, the honesty comes more easily. "
“So, one thing.” He said thoughtfully.
“One thing only.”
“Can I tell him about the first time I had to come see you.” Jungkook asked quietly.
Dr Lee blinked , momentarily surprised.
“Ah, starting off strong then?”
Jungkook exhaled a little.
“About the honesty thing…does it go both ways?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I’m honest with him, will he be honest with me too?”
Dr. Lee considered it carefully.
“If he feels that his truth would be safe in your hands, that you won’t use it against him, then he will. But like I said for him to trust you enough to do that… you need to build that foundation. It may take a while though, fair warning. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. ”
Jungkook nodded and Dr Lee straightened.
“Speaking of trust, can I trust that you will be more careful with your meds here on out?”
The alpha nodded quickly and Dr. Lee hummed.
“I’m going to be sticking around here for the next couple of weeks. Your parents want me close by. And before you apologize, I’m just going to enjoy the beach and the sun. You…should rest up and take it easy, alright? “
He stood up slowly , fixing Jungkook’s blanket around his shoulders.
“You’re going to okay son. And so is he. You know that right?”
“Yes.” Jungkook nodded. “ Yes, Dr. Lee.”
The doctor carefully picked up his bag, heading back out of the hospital room.
In the hallway, he found Mr. Jeon sitting in one of the chairs. He gave his friend a wave.
"You never told me you got your certification as a psychiatrist." he said casually.
"Heard you went around diagnosing the poor kiddo. Told him all about how he's making the same mistakes... Falling into the same problems..."
"Changmin - ah.."
"No." Dr. Lee said firmly. " Don't ever do shit like that again. You aren't qualified to say things like that."
Mr. Jeon looked away and he sighed.
"He's okay." He said firmly, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder."But if you make him doubt it, he's more likely to fall back. Your fears are valid. As parents its natural that you worry for him. But don't make him carry the weight of it."
Mr. Jeon sighed deeply before nodding.
“So he’s okay?” he hesitated, “ I just don’t want him to wear himself out, trying to fight other people’s battles.”
“He’s always been okay. And you can’t fight his battles for him either. He has to navigate through his relationship with his husband by himself. Just give him space to make those choices. And remember you do not get to decide what is the right choice for him.”
“Okay , okay. I get it. I went overboard I guess. I’ll apologize to him .And you , make good use of that room huh? Cost an arm and a leg for me to book it for you.”
Dr Lee chuckled, giving his friend a warm hug before turning and making his way down the corridor.
Perhaps if he hurried, he could get himself a late lunch at the seafood bistro he had spotted on the way over.
It was late in the evening when Jungkook’s parents finally dropped them off, back at the bungalow in the resort. Taehyung felt so much better, the crisp sea air invigorating in many ways. He was still drained, although he had spent the past two days resting.
And although Jungkook looked better, well recovered in every way, he couldn’t help but feel ice cold dread , everytime he remembered that evening.
“I’m still not completely happy with you wanting to go back to work right away. “ Mr. Jeon said firmly.
“ Are you sure you don’t want to take a couple more days off. Go around the island, the pair of you, get in some sun.”
Jungkook moved to hug his father.
“Dad, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry I scared you guys , I’ll be more careful here on out, okay?”
He pulled back to smile at both of his parents. “ But now, I want you guys to go back home. I’ll be fine.”
Mrs Jeon turned to Taehyung and smiled apologetically.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t bring your mother along. She does have people taking care of her though so don’t worry. I’ll have her call you as soon as we get back, is that alright?” she asked , holding her arms out.
Taehyung nodded, accepting her hug , warmth seeping into him when she ran her palms over his back. When she pulled back she had a worried look on her face.
“Are you feeling better now?” She asked gently. Taehyung knew she was referring to the night Jungkook had been ill.
Apparently he had gotten out of the bed and collapsed somewhere in a hallway, found by the nurses there. Mrs. Jeon told him it was probably out of exhaustion but there were little pockets of memory still present inside his head.
And he was sure he had gotten out of that bed for a reason.
“I’m fine now.” He reassured her, “ And its alright . As long as mom is doing okay, it’s all good.”
Once the Jeons left, Jungkook moved to open the door to the cabin , holding it for Taehyung but the omega moved to the side, closer to the railing .
From here they could see a part of the lighthouse across the way and even a few fishing boats bobbing along a few miles in from the coast.
He leaned over the railing, catching sight of the glowing waters beneath them, lit by the setting sun’s golden glow.
He heard Jungkook’s footfall, and a second later the alpha was leaning in next to him, breathing in deep.
“Hey.” He said softly.
“Hey yourself.” Taehyung said tiredly.
They stayed quiet for a few more seconds.
They both froze and Taehyung laughed despite himself.
“Well I know what I’m sorry but, I’m curious what you’re about to apologize for.”
“For scaring you.” Jungkook said quietly.” For missing my meds. For forcing you to come here. For making it seem like you had to do everything I asked you to.”
“No.. Just… I’ve been thinking about the past few weeks and I can’t help but realize, I’ve been making all the decisions here. I just decide everything for you . That’s got to be infuriating.” Jungkook said quietly.
Taehyung took a second to consider the words.
“Its less infuriating and more ….condescending sometimes.” He said finally. “ Like you don’t trust me to make any right decision. And sometimes I just wonder… that maybe because I screwed things up once, you expect me to screw up everytime.”
“Tae, that’s not it. I just… sometimes I think I know what’s best for everyone and I’m slowly realizing that’s not always true.” Jungkook placed one leg on the railing, looking like he was going to climb over it to sit on the wooden partition
but Taehyung grabbed him quickly, tugging him back to the ground.
“Don’t do that.” He said sharply, “ It’s dangerous.”
The alpha gave him a look but didn’t try to climb back up.
“Dad told me what happened that night. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“You were the one who went through it. I was just the horrified bystander who had no idea what was happening. “ Taehyung whispered, voice trailing off. He didn’t add how much it had hurt, the not knowing part.
How the doctors and nurses had all looked at him in disbelief when he told them he had no idea what meds Jungkook was won, no idea how often this happened, no idea if Jungkook had ever had seizures before.
Just no idea about him at all.
There in the hospital room, Taehyung had felt the distance between them so strongly. The awful truth had sunk in like a five inch dagger straight through his heart : He didn’t know a thing about Jeon Jungkook.
“I’m sorry.” Jungkook said again.
“I just.. I wish I knew so I could have helped in some way, that’s all.” Taehyung looked away.
“Do you want to know?” Jungkook’s voice was low. The silence that followed felt charged somehow.
“If you’re comfortable telling me then… sure.”
Jungkook seemed to be struggling for words for a few seconds. And then he reached over and grabbed his hand.
“Can we go down there?” He pointed at the waters. “ Out in the deck there’s stairs that lead down to the water. Can we go there?”
“Yeah. I just.. I want to dip my feet in there. It looks like it would feel good don’t you think?”
Taehyung stared at the alpha, worry slowly building.
“Jungkook are you okay?” He asked with a frown and the alpha groaned a little.
“The stairs. Out by the deck. Please.”
“Okay.” Taehyung made to move towards the door. The deck was only accessible from the inside of their bedroom. But he’d barely taken a single step when Jungkook grabbed his wrist again.
“Or do you want to try the pool?” The alpha smiled, looking a little jittery.
“Try as in… get into it?”
“Well, yeah. That’s kind of how pools work.” Jungkook laughed.
Taehyung laughed along for a second.
“I can’t swim.” He said firmly and Jungkook went still.
“What?” He frowned. “ Why?”’
“ I don’t know. I just can’t.” Taehyung made to pull his wrist away but in true Jungkook fashion, the alpha merely stepped closer, the hold on his hand still firm.
“Didn’t your dad teach you when you were young?”
Taehyung had no idea how to respond to that without revealing how fucked up and awful his entire childhood had been. And the last thing he wanted to do was talk about his terrible childhood with the poster child for the results of good parenting.
"No, he didn't. Ow."
"Oh, sorry.." Jungkook dropped his hand, looking apologetic and Taehyung rubbed at the skin which was already pinking up. He glared at the alpha who had the good grace to flush.
"Your skin is really ... sensitive." He said casually.
"Jungkook I'll be honest."
"i'm tired and also smell like the hospital. I was hoping to take a warm shower and sleep till its time for dinner. I genuinely would prefer that to...whatever this is ." he motioned between them.
" Listen if you're worried about all the stuff you said these past few days, just don't be. I know you were off suppressants, I know you didn't mean any of that nonsense about wanting me and all those words about how you needed me and i promise I won't hold you to them. "
"Right... " Jungkook stared at him. " Nonsense... Of course. "
"I mean..The more I think about it these days, " Taehyung took a deep breath, " The more I realize, we're not really right for each other in anyway. " He laughed nervously. " I'm not what you need. I understand that."
Jungkook didn't respond, merely glancing at him once and then out at the ocean.
"Yeah? " The alpha chuckled.
"Yeah. And you're right. You do scare me sometimes. You're.... Too much. Sometimes. " He trailed off, not even sure what he was saying anymore.
"Oh, okay. Wow. "
Jungkook took a step away from him.
"Sorry. I just don't want to make this more difficult for us than it has to be. And I know you really want to help me remember that night but... To be honest, I don't really care much about it anymore. I just .. I want this over with. "
Jungkook hesitated for a few seconds before nodding quickly.
"Okay. That's fine, Taehyung. I understand. Like I said, I'm sorry for... Being too much I guess. " He laughed, " But thank you for being honest with me. That makes me feel happy actually. And can I just ask you for
One thing? "
Taehyung didn't respond, merely waiting.
"Can I just ask that you be honest always? Like you are now. About what you want me to do? "
" Like now, you told me you don't want to talk. I appreciate that. That way I won't make you uncomfortable. "
"So the next time I do Or say something that makes you upset, just tell me. And I promise I'll stop. "
Taehyung felt an iron fist around his heart, squeezing so tight he couldn't breathe.
"I.... Alright. " He said shakily.
"Okay." Jungkook smiled, nodding. "Thank you, Tae. "
The alpha moved to the door, opening it wide and Taehyung felt stifled.
Suddenly the idea of going in there and spending the evening locked with Jungkook felt like the worst possible thing to do. But before he could say anything, Jungkook was grabbing his camera.
"I'm going to take a look around the place. Scout the best places for photographs. "The alpha said casually, not meeting his eyes. "You should rest and I'll see you at dinner?"
Tae could only nod.
He watched Jungkook walk away an odd mixture of relief and misery in his veins.
After a long shower, Taehyung stayed tossing and turning in the bed for a good half hour before finally giving up his dignity to rummage in the alphas bag finding one of his t shirts. He slipped it on, curling into the mattress, only feeling worse when sleep came at once.
He only woke up when Jungkook shook him awake, the alpha freshly showered , hair still damp and dripping onto Taehyung's face.
"Tae? It's almost time for Dinner... " He was saying gently and Taehyung groaned, blinking groggy eyes up at him.
Jungkook was smiling at him.
Taehyung groaned, pulling himself up to sit, and Jungkook seemed to freeze.
"Is that my-? "
Tae felt his blood go cold, just as his face burned red. He had fully intended to change out of it before Jungkook came back.
"It's fine. It's fine .. You look good.. In it. "
Taehyung felt like a lemon was stuck somewhere in his throat.
"So, we still have about an hour and a half till they serve dinner. And I asked them to serve it here, on the deck, is that okay? " Jungkook was smiling.
"Okay, so till then... Pool? "
Taehyung rubbed the heel of his wrists against his eye.
"Pool? Jungkook I told you I can't... "
"Swim. Yes. But, it's never too late to learn. "
Taehyung stared up at him owlishly.
"I'm saying, there's a pool, there's a person who knows how to swim" He shrugged.
"No." Taehyung said at one, heart jumping so bad he felt light headed. " Absolutely not.. I can't.. No. "
"Oh come on.. I'll take care of you, I promise. " Jungkook insisted, already reaching for him and Taehyung kicked out, trying to crawl away but the alpha grabbed his ankle.
Taehyung yelped, landing on his face on the sheets, squeaking a little when Jungkook just dragged him down to the edge of the bed, ruthless.
"No!! " He whined, hating the flurry of butterflies threatening to burst out of his ribcage. " Jungkook.. I can't do this... "
The alpha grabbed his waist, and Taehyung felt a whooshing sensation in his tummy as he got lifted up and off the bed, landing over Jungkooks broad shoulders.
He was suddenly face to face with the alphas back.
"I'm not a sack of rice, let me down! " He kicked out.
The flat of Jungkooks hand landed square on the curve of his butt, and the omega went completely still. It wasn't hard, not even firm enough to register as anything more than a touch, but the action was enough to turn his brain to mush.
"Did... Did you just spank me? "
"Only because words don't seem to work with you." Jungkook said casually, moving to the large doors that opened out into the deck. " And you can't lie that you don't like the water. You said one of the items in your bucket list was to swim with dolphins .. " Jungkook said firmly.
Taehyung stopped struggling letting Jungkook carry him out into the deck
The alpha lowered him to the floor slowly, Taehyung gripping his shoulders to balance himself, and when their eyes met, Tae felt like he was floating.
"When? " He said softly. " When did I say that? "
Jungkook kept his hands on his waist, staring at him with an unreadable look on his face. Taehyung curled his fingers into the fabric of Jungkook's shirt.
"Sophomore year in college. There was a debate and we had an ice breaking session before that and you said that. Yeah. "
Taehyung felt his pulse quicken, a pool of disbelief concealing at the base of his tummy and he gripped the alpha harder, teeth tugging on his lower lip as he exhaled out.
"That's.. " He stopped, unable to find words.
"Too much? " Jungkook whispered. "" Did I scare you again?"
Taehyung closed his eyes, shaking his head.
But the way you make me feel scares me.
"Good." Jungkook smiled, "because I need you to trust me in there. " He nodded at the po. "Can't do that if I scare you." He was teasing now.
Oh, he was going to regret this wasn't he?
The water was cool against his skin and Taehyung stayed close to the edge, gripping the metal railing built into the side of the pool, treading water as he waited for Jungkook to come out of the changing rooms.
Thankfully the depth of the pool wasn’t enough for him to accidentally drown or something like that. But he was still just a little terrified to go to the far end, which opened out into the ocean, giving the illusion of floating right over the deep and dark waters.
He could tell that the view was probably spectacular there but the safety railing was here.
So here Taehyung would remain.
He valued his life just a tad bit more than he valued the view.
"Not getting in deeper?" Jungkook's voice came from behind him and Taehyung swallowed.
Part of him didn't really want to turn around and see Jungkook wearing just his swimming shorts, but he would look ridiculous avoiding eye contact, especially when it was just the two of them there.
"What part of I can't swim, do you not understand, Jungkook? " He scowled.
The alpha chuckled softly behind him, and a second later a soft splash in the water told him he had gotten in. Turning a bit to the side, he got ready to tell him that they didn't have to do this when Jungkook all but crashed into him, wrapping both arms around him.
Taehyung kicked out instinctively, panicking and losing his grip on the railing, head going underwater before he could stop himself. Water went straight up his nose and he coughed, spluttering as strong hands dragged him back up to the surface.
"You... You maniac!! " He yelled.
Jungkook who had both his hands curved around Taehyung's ribs was laughing hard.
"Oh wow, when you said you can't swim I didn't think You meant you're the type to drown in nine inches of water. " He grinned, and Taehyung swung a closed fist to the side of his torso.
"I hate you. Unhand me right now. " He demanded, but Jungkook shook his head, tugging closer and moving around to stand behind him..
"Taehyung, come on... You told me you'd trust me."
"When did I ever say that?! " He howled, terrified, even as Jungkook tried to pull him closer.
"Listen.. You need to relax... " Jungkook wrapped one arm around his waist turning him around, his other arm going underwater like he was about to swing him up into his arms.
"What are you doing? " Taehyung panicked.
"You need to lay on your back and try and learn to float..
Taehyung screamed kicking out again when Jungkook tried to lay him down on the water, catching the alpha right around the thigh and making him grunt in pain...
"Oh for the love of -"
The sound of the room bell ringing made both of them go still.
"Is the food here already?"
Jungkook frowned deeply, glancing at his watch. " It's not supposed to be here for another hour and I specifically said no one was to disturb us for anything. What are these people upto?"
"Wait, I'll go! " Taehyung jumped wager to get out of the water. He quickly moved to the
Edge of the pool, levering himself up and out. Grabbing a large fluffy towel from one of the lounge chairs, he wrapped it around his chest, moving to the bedroom door and slipping in.
He made a beeline to the front door and opened it with a smile only to feel his heart stop.
"Min Yoongi. " He choked out.
The omega on the porch gave him a level look.
"Is Jungkook in there? I want to have a word with him in private. "
Taehyung couldn't quite form Words. For some reason he felt guilt pool in his stomach.
"He's in... The pool. " He said finally.
"The pool? " Yoongi scoffed. " Ah that explains your state. Wow, already letting him all over yourself huh? Are you that easy, Kim? Where's the dignity huh? But then you never were one for acting dignified. If you were you wouldn't have been panting after a man in a relationship"
Taehyung recoiled, heart picking up a bit, but his own anger simmering just beneath his skin.
"If the relationship meant as much as you keep saying it meant, " He exhaled, " You'll be in here and I'll be elsewhere. Whatever it was between you two, Jungkook clearly didn't
Think it was worth saving, did he? "
Yoongi chuckled at that.
"Look at you baring your fangs at me. And here I was trying to help you. If you're doing so well, maybe I should just leave.. " He shrugged.
"Help me? Help me with what? "
"Jungkook." Yoongi whispered. " Hi. "
"What are you doing here? " Jungkook's growl was punctuated with hands curling around Taehyung's shoulder. Yoongis gaze shifted to where Jungkook held Taehyung, his jaw going tight.
"There's something I have to say to you. It's about that night. " He said quietly.
Taehyung felt his skin go icy cold at that, breath leaving him in a sharp exhale and Jungkook shifted closer, wrapping one arm around him.
"What night? " He said casually.
"The night everyone thought you slept with Taehyung. " He rolled his eyes.
"Really? " Jungkook's tone was even. Taehyung felt light headed, his head starting to ache little. But Jungkook merely hugged him closer.
"Well, it doesn't matter. Taehyung and I have decided to put that night behind us. So, we don't want to talk about it. " He said firmly.
Taehyung felt the weight in his chest melt off, his panic dissipating at the words.
Yes, he had told Jungkook that earlier hadn't he?
And Jungkook had listened. Even though it was Yoongi here, now.. Jungkook had listened to him.. Had respected his wishes.
"Putting it behind? " Yoongi turned his gaze on Taehyung. " You think you can do that Taehyung? After what happened that night at the hospital, you really think you can put that night behind you? Don't be a fucking idiot. " He scoffed.
"The Hospital..? " Taehyung frowned. " What... What are you talking about? "
"Stop talking nonsense, Yoongi hyung. You need to leave. " Jungkook said firmly.
But Yoongi wasn't listening to him. His eyes stayed fixed on Taehyung.
"It won't stop you know. " He shook his head.
"What are you talking about? " He asked shakily.
"The headaches... The dreams... The fear... It won't stop. It will however get worse. Worse and worse till you start fearing your own shadow. That what you want Kim Taehyung? "
"Okay that's enough! "
Jungkook growled, pulling Taehyung in and stepping in front of him.
"You're scaring him. You need to leave right now. " He growled, eyes flashing red as he glared down at the omega, his voice making Taehyung shiver.
Yoongi flinched at the alpha voice as well.
" He doesn't know does he? " Yoongi said firmly. " He doesn't know about the dreams, the flashes of memory that confuse you ? The confusion where you don't know what's real and what's in your head.. You can't run from this, Kim. Trust me. "
"I... I don't know what you're talking about... " Taehyung said quietly, mind racing. He had no idea how to respond, because he had told Jungkook he didn't care about that night. And he meant it. Thinking about it only made him sick.
"I.. Don't want your help. " He said firmly.
"Are you insane? After what happened that night? You were lucky I was there!! What if the next time, you're with someone who doesn't understand?! " He growled.
"Yoongi either you leave or I call security. " Jungkook growled, furious.
The omega laughed in disbelief.
"Kim Taehyung... You need to see a fucking doctor. " He growled. " Tell him about that night at the hospital... About the flashback you had.. "
"What the hell are you even on about? Taehyung fainted because he was tired. My mother was there. Nothing else happened. "
" Your mother? You think I could tell your mother anything?! " Yoongi scowled. " I tried to tell her, but she was too busy yelling her head off at me to even listen. I came to the hospital that night. And I caught Taehyung reliving that night.. " He snapped.
"He's lying. " Jungkook growled. " Stop this hyung. You're only scaring him. You need to stop right now. Nothing happened to him that night. He's fine. " He snapped. " My mother would never do something like that. "
Yoongi stared at him.
"Okay then. " He stepped back.
"You're making all this shit up based. On what you went through... But just so you know , Taehyung isn't going through anything like that. He's fine and he's going to be fine. Both of us are. We don't need your fucking help. "
"Right. Of course. "
The omega looked up, staring right at Taehyung.
"You aren't as smart as you look are you? After everything I just said, you're still going to deny that your repressed memories are starting to spill out now? "
Taehyung stared at him in confusion.
"I don't know what you're talking about. " He said softly.
Yoongi scoffed and turned on his heel. They watched as the omega stalked away.
He stopped a few dozen feet away.
"Come find me when you start smelling those fucking almonds again. " He growled.
"What the hell is he even talking about? " Jungkook scoffed and Taehyung clenched his fists.
How did Yoongi know about the almonds?
"Taehyung are you okay? " Jungkook cupped his face, eyes worried. " I'm sorry you had to go through that. "
The omega swallowed.
He couldn't tell Jungkook.
And what would he tell him anyway?
That he was smelling things that weren't there? That he was seeing things that made no sense to him? That he had dreams that felt so real he woke up shaking and trembling?
He couldn't. That was his burden to bear.
Taehyung was the one who had told Jungkook he was too much for him.
Taehyung was the one who had told him they weren't right for each other. That he wanted to get this thing over with.
Taehyung was the one who had shut Jungkook down when he wanted to talk
How could he possibly ask Jungkook to listen to him?
What right did he have?
He couldn't be that selfish.
He was done being selfish when it came to Jungkook. He would never go down that road again.
So he smiled, nodding.
"I'm okay. " He lied, licking his lips. " I'm fine."
"Are you sure? " Jungkook asked gently, worry evident in his eyes. And Tae somehow felt unworthy of that worry.
He felt unworthy, undeserving of all this kindness Jungkook seemed to have for him.
And it made him greedy too. He found himself wanting more. And that was wrong.
"Yeah. I'm sure.. It's... All good. " He nodded.
"If something's wrong... You'll tell me right? "
Taehyung laughed a little.
"Of course I will. "
"Okay... Okay... I suppose we can't get back in the pool? " Jungkook grinned. " Let's just change for dinner then? "
"....And then, the giraffe just stuck its head in straight through mom's open window and licked her right in the mouth..... "
"Oh.. Ew.. " Taehyung laughed, gagging mentally and Jungkook guffawed.
"I know.. Dad refused to kiss her for the rest of the trip. " He laughed.
Taehyung took a bite of the soft crab meat.
"What about you? Did you have trips like that with your parents? "
Taehyung hesitated before shaking his head.
"Other than visiting my mom in Daegu, I never traveled anywhere. " He admitted.
"Hmm... I love travelling. "
"There's always something new to see and learn. And of course the chance to photograph beautiful places. " He hummed. " One of the best things about working with this magazine is the travel opportunities. " He smiled, " Also, that reminds me, I need to start work tomorrow. "
" You can stay here and rest if you like , or you can come with me. It's entirely up to you. " Jungkook smiled.
"I... I'll see how I feel about it in the morning. " He said hesitantly and Jungkook nodded before refilling his wine.
"No problem. "
As Jungkook talked, Tae watched him carefully. He looked more handsome then ever, like this at close quarters. Taehyung looked around them, the luxury villa, the high dining cuisine, Jungkook looking at him like he was happy to be with him
Things he had once only dreamed of.
Even though it was just the two of them, Jungkook had dressed up in a fitted button down and well tailored slacks. He had styled his hair and he looked so breathtaking, Taehyung wanted to sob at the unfairness of it all.
".. Take pictures of you too if you wanted. "
Taehyung nodded, absently, too caught in the moment, his gaze trained on Jungkook. The alpha was so, so handsome. And Taehyung felt that familiar pull, that tug straight inside his ribcage. The feeling of being so drawn to someone you couldn't breath anymore.
Taehyung had fallen hard and fast for him, even from a distance, and so like this up close ,with Jungkook right there, his inhibitions lowered from the wine, he couldn't quite remember all the reasons he shouldn't be thinking of him that way.
He just couldn't stop staring.
"... The dunes by the water are absolutely gorgeous and we could... "
Taehyung stared at his eyes, so bright and sparkly, like he carried entire constellations in there. His lovely skin, a little golden from the sun.
The omega licked his own. He remembered them.
Remembered exactly how they felt against his own.
" Are you okay? "Jungkook's voice made him blink. The slow buzz in his head made him smile.
" Yeah.. Just... Tired I guess.. "
"Oh then let's get to bed soon. " Jungkook grinned. "Let me just finish this... "
Taehyung watched him finish his food before carefully placing the fork down. He watched as Jungkook finished the last of the wine, smiling. He watched as he stood up , pushing his chair back before coming over to his side.
The alpha bent over him, smiling as he came closer.
As his face came within a few inches of Taehyung's own, the omega had the sudden urge to check if he was remembering it right...
So he reached out, gently gripping the lapels of his collar, tugging him down till their lips met.
Soft and plush.
Definitely the way he remembered.
But a lot less forceful. Jungkook had kissed him rather aggressively back then.
Now he wasn't that firm.
In fact he wasn't moving at all, it felt like. The alpha was frozen, not kissing him back.
Taehyung felt his eyes go wide, his mind sobering up so fast he almost felt faint.
He dropped his hand from Jungkook's collar, pulling away to stare up at the alpha who looked stunned.
"Uh... " Jungkook cleared his throat. " Wow. Okay. " He swallowed. " Right. "
"Sorry. I... Thought... You... You were just so close... I... "
" I was just going to pull the chair so you could get up.. " Jungkook said shakily. "But I understand why you may have misunderstood... It's all good. It's fine. No harm no foul. " He laughed.
"Right... Of course.. " Taehyung laughed, gripping the edge of the table, his skin heating up as he felt Jungkook's scent change into something darker, more heavy. The first, subtle sign of arousal.
Something that only happened in response to an Omega's scent.
Tae felt like his face was on fire as he stood up, really fast, wanting to run into the bedroom as fast as he could but he misjudged his step, nearly crashing into the alpha who hadn't moved an inch away from him.
Jungkook caught him close, and Taes hands landed on his chest.
He curled his fingers into the fabric, crushing the silk before he could stop himself.
"Fuck.. Sorry.. I'm clumsy.. " He laughed.
He didn't let go of him either.
"Taehyung.. " The alpha whispered.
He closed his eyes.
"We... We shouldn't.. ".
But even as he said it, the omega leaned in closer, breathing him in. Jungkook smelled so good and he wanted more of it. He could feel desire pool at the pit of his stomach, liquid heat that made his thighs ache and his insides clench.
" We can't.. " He whispered,
Arm coming up to wrap around the alphas neck, his lips finding their way to the junction of his neck and shoulders where the scent of him was the strongest. Tae buried his nose there, breathing him in, hand gripping the alpha 's trim waist.
"We shouldn't do this.. " He trembled.
"Yeah... " Jungkook whispered, hand moving up to gently cup the curve of his waist. " We absolutely shouldn't... " His lips found the soft skin just below Taehyung's year, placing a gentle kiss there. " This is a bad idea... " He pressed another kiss to the side of his neck.
"The worst... " Taehyung agreed, gripping his bicep and squeezing a little before exhaling and drawing back to stare up at him. Jungkook looked like he'd run a mile, skin flushed snd eyes glassy.
" We should stop. " Taehyung hesitated Eyes falling on jungkook's lips , " Soon. "
Something in his gaze seemed to tug on Jungkook's impulses, and the alpha stepped closer, gripping his waist and leaning down, one hand moving up to sink into Taehyung's hair, gripping gently and tilting his face up, so he could slot his lips over Taehyung's.
Taehyung melted into the kiss, hands coming up to grip his shoulders, even as Jungkook pressed him against the table, his tongue tracing the seam of his lips, begging entrance. Taehyung parted his lips on instinct, moaning a little as the alpha licked into his mouth.
Taehyung's hands moved from his shoulder to his chest, fingers catching on the bare skin at the base of his throat. He stroked the skin there for a second, but it wasn't enough, and he whined a little, frustrated because he wanted more, wanted to touch morenof Jungkook's golden
Skin, and Jungkook groaned, hand coming up to unbutton his own shirt, quick and efficient, tugging the fabric aside , before grabbing Taehyung's hand and pressing it to his body.
"Fuck, more.." Jungkook growled, moving to tug Taehyung's shirt out of his slacks.
Taehyung arched into his touch, whimpering when Jungkook moved his palm down to the curve of his ass, squeezing a little before slipping his hand up into his shirt, tracing every rib and and every curve, moving up to his chest, before thumbing gently on his nipple.
Taehyung trembled, his body going lax at being touched so intimately, for the first time in his life. He felt his bones melt, his legs giving up almost as he leaned into the touch, panting. He could feel himself get wet, his insides clenching down and aching to be filled.
And then it stopped.
Taehyung blinked confused as Jungkook went still.
"Taehyung.. " The alpha breathed out shakily, " I think this is where we stop. "
Taehyung sobbed out in frustration, body screaming at him to grab Jungkook and kiss him, make him change his mind.
"Please... Just a little... ".
" Tae, I can smell you.. " Jungkook whispered, pulling him in and hugging him close, panting a little against his ear. ' if we go further , neither of us can stop. "
"Yes... Right.. Remind me why that's bad again? " Taehyung choked out.