I think a lot of people downplay how powerful being affirmed (particularly by professionals) is.

You have doctors, therapists, surgeons, psychs all confirming what is essentially a self-diagnosis. These people are authority figures. They went to school for this. They're supposed to know what they're doing.

It's one thing for me, as a layperson, to be misdiagnose myself. To be wrong. But literally every professional that worked with me throughout my transition was also wrong. Realizing that the people you were meant to trust were wrong is much harder to grapple with.

It's one thing for me to accept that I was wrong about me. It's another for me to accept that trained professionals were wrong about me. ...and a whole other to accept that they were wrong about facilitating irreversible alterations to my body.

Sometimes it's 4am and I'm just sitting here wondering how the hell this happened.

We go into it thinking "if I was wrong, they would have told me." But now the patient/client can never be wrong. So they CAN'T tell you. And if their hands are tied, it's the vulnerable and distressed layperson who has to take responsibility, who has to learn to adapt.

The trained professionals -- (what did they even fucking go to school for if we're just greenlighting everyone??) -- get to bask in the glow of being considered progressive lifesavers. And the bodies they wrecked are just data points. "less than one percent"

"Most patients are happy, so if the treatment didn't work, the problem is the patient" Is this even logical? In what other area of medicine do we act like this? Why is transition treated like it's sacred and can never be criticised?

Professionals shouldn't be afraid to tell you that you are wrong. That's it.