You have their attention - and poof - your brain disappears It happens to you, me, the sexy person at the bar, and even the CEO Here’s 10 steps to have the confidence to talk to anyone you want

1. Breathe and bring the fun “I forgot what I was going to say; Oh Noooooo, I die..” Instead of focusing on how poorly it may go: - Slow way down - Bring good energy - Be honest and open - Choose unique words - Give real compliments Make it fun for everyone

2. Know yourself so can deal with your worst-case disaster If you can survive your worst, you can do anything. Knowing how helps you be unphased when things go sideways Develop awareness by: - journaling - meditating - going to therapy Self-knowledge is the best knowledge

3. Craft your words beforehand Dave Chappel, Jon Stewart, and the best comedians spend years refining lines. And you try to come up with one on the spot? Start: - learning your strengths - practicing key lines - telling your story Know what you want to say and then say it

4. Start small, then get real Start with small talk: locations, events, food, hobbies, but move through those quickly, or else it’s snoozville Real connection happens when you discuss: - personal stories - passion projects - pitfalls and growth edges People want to know you

5. Stop confusing meet-ups for data dumps When we get nervous, we stick to the facts You: Nice shirt. Where did you get it? Her: the store You: I, too, shop at The Store. I buy various items there Her: (kill me) Instead: - tease - be goofy - be interested

6. Stop challenging them to a battle of witts …you aren’t as armed as you think you are I’ve killed partnerships/relationships because I needed them to know I was smart Stop - trying to prove a point - showing off Start - making other people feel good - enjoying yourself

7. Make people regret leaving - not forced to stay The following makes you a jailer: - blocking the exit - leaning into them - hovering over them - approaching from behind - ignoring their desire to leave Instead, give everyone a choice to be there The right ones will stay

8. Be strong enough that others feel like they can take a risk Make your job in the conversation to help others play: 1. Be casual with your tone of voice 2. Be unphased by what is said 3. Be genuinely interested When you trust yourself, others will too

9. Joke around, but don’t be a bad one People bond through teasing. We tease to decrease their anxiety and increase positive feelings How to tease playfully: - Ask obviously absurd rhetorical questions - Callout when a person is cliché - Make fun of yourself too

10. Learn to enjoy meeting people so your life opens up When you say, “I’m only going to speak to x person, " you limit: - practice opportunities - potential resources - potential partners Your next best friend or partner could just be someone you met at the grocery store.

This thread was inspired by research and my work helping people grow for over 10 years Please follow me @Dr. Drew and RT the first tweet Build your: - confidence - mindset - habits - focus - dream … with tools that work twitter.com/drewrcarr/stat…