[chrys]
nah. lazy
not that it matters anyway
i donât want to have to figure everything out right now
anyway
hbu? howâs your day
[Sprout]
hhhh you might scold me but
i maybe kind of spent it with
~fckboi asshole~
[chrys]
oh man
why do you do this to yourself
[Sprout]
look i cant help it
[chrys]
but why
the way you describe him
sounds like a walking red flag to me
[Sprout]
heâs a friend
iâm trying to look past the bad
[chrys]
âi can fix himâ, you said
[Sprout]
stahp
[chrys]
you canât fix people
only accept them
or ultimately remove yourself
Jimin sighs and rubs his eyes, feeling inexplicably riled up because some stranger on the phone is bashing Yoongi.
[Sprout]
well maybe i like scarlet
and burgundy
and wine
[chrys]
hell. u like hell
Jimin makes a face at his phone.
[Sprout]
look i know i complained about him
but honestly
heâs good
and i like myself when iâm around him
[chrys]
does he treat you well though
[Sprout]
yeah heâs a good person i swear
everyone has their flaws
youâd know. youâre a counselor
[chrys]
thatâs fair.
to each his own i suppose
donât fall too deep in infatuation though
[Sprout]
itâs NOT infatuation lawddd ă ă
look itâs complicated
but my priority is exams tomorrow so iâll continue this another time maybe
[chrys]
haha yikes
night.
[Sprout]
noite
[deleted contact]
chim
why do i feel like i just destroyed that paper
it was too easy
[jimin of the park]
whoâs this
[deleted contact]
AFTER ALL WEâVE BEEN THROUGH
âStrawberry Boy,â Taehyung says later during their shift. Now that their final papers are over, he and Jimin are back at the Cacao Crushers. âSave my number as that!â
Jimin lifts an eyebrow. âNahâwhatâs your horoscope?â
âCapricorn.â
âYouâre a winter baby?â
âYup.â Taehyung wipes his hands against his apron, smiling softly to himself. âOur grandmother often calls me a bear.â
Jimin doesnât know how thatâs any relevant to his question, but he decides not to push. âOkay.â
[winter bear]
HOW WAS EVERYONEâS EXAMS ^-^
helllooo
[not seokjin]
no exams but the ashes of my dissertation draft is ready to be harvested from the stove thank you for asking :)
[nam of the june]
i hate stoves =\
[dtownbeats]
got one last paper
[Hoba]
stay strong my bros
[winter bear]
i know
why donât we have a party or trip
celebrate the end of the sem
after yoongi hyungâs last exam???
[nam of the june]
when?
[jimin of the park]
you better not vanish again
[winter bear]
how about the day after tomorrow?!
letâs go to the beach~
Jimin hums.
[nam of the june]
tomorrow?
not sure if jimin and i can make it
sorry
[dtownbeats]
why not
[jimin of the park]
fetching an old Busan friend from the bus terminal haha
[winter bear]
INVITE HIM TOO THEN
actually no wait
iâll find better dates for a beach roadrip!
IâM SO SLEEPY. Good night for now!
Will continue tomorrow.
Thoughts on this short update and Yoongiâs âconfessionâ?
âJimin-sshhiiii,â booms the boy hopping down the last few stairs of the bus. Heâs clad in a plain blank tee and oversized jeans paired with chunky platform sneakersâan outfit that would have looked cool if not for the jumbo-sized army-green bag slung over his shoulders in front.
Jimin muffles a snort & turns to exchange an amused glance with Namjoon who, bless his soul, looks utterly smitten as he lobbles forward to help carry some of Jungkookâs belongings.
âYah, whyâd you use such a massive bag? Donât tell me you hid a dead body inside,â Jimin teases.
âMy life, my bag, my choice,â Jungkook declares, flipping his bangs from getting into his eyes. He grins at Jimin and reaches out for a fist bump, but in stepping forward he loses balance due to the weight of his enormous backpack, making him wobble on his feet. âWoah-hoah-ho.â
âYouâll be here, what, a few weeks? Did you bring your whole house?â
âI bring only secrets.â
Jimin chortles, chest swelling with affection as he rushes forward to mess up Jungkookâs hair. âHello to you too, brat!â
âOw- hey, not the hair! Dude!â
âHave you eaten?â Namjoon asks.
Jungkook turns to him, eyes going round. âNo.â
Namjoonâs smile grows hopeful as he hoists Jungkookâs duffel bagâs strap over one shoulder. âI could try to cookââ
âWeâll eat out,â Jimin cuts in at the same time Jungkook says, âAhh how about a restaurant in town?â
Namjoon sighs.
âWhy canât you let me cook, I swear Iâve gotten better, I read up on recipesââ
Jimin lays a hand on Namjoonâs arm and pat-pat-pats him kindly. âRemember why you hate stoves in the first place. We donât want a repeat of The Bunsen Burner Fiasco 6 years ago.â
Jungkook nods along.
âDonât worry, if you canât cook, you can always pay,â quips Jimin, and Namjoon sends him a serious side-eye before relenting anyway, because theyâre Jimin and Jungkook, and Namjoon has never been ever say no to them unless itâs related to Pokemon card and stickers trading.
Which is why, an hour and a half later they find themselves entering none other than⌠the Cacao Crushers, partly because Jimin gets staff discount on the menu, and partly because Jungkook wants waffles instead of a proper dinner. Hoseok and Taehyung greet them from the counter.
âYo Chim!â Taehyung wipes his hands on his apron and waves enthusiastically.
Jimin nods at him.
âIs that the Busan friend?â Taehyung asks, coming around the counter with a growing smile. âHi. Whatâs up?â
Jungkook stares at him, then points at himself. âHeolâIâm⌠famous now?!â
âIâve heard a lot about you. Chim says youâre a childhood friend?â
Jungkook snickers. âYeah, and I got copies of his naked baby pics. $5 each.â
Jimin elbows him. âSay hi to my same-age friend, Kim Taehyung. Heâs your hyung.â
âOh. Okay, âsup,â Jungkook offers a salute, âhyung.â
Taehyungâs grin spreads and he turns to Jimin with an approving nod. âI like him already.â To Jungkook he asks, âWhatâs your MBTI?â
âISFP,â pipes up Namjoon quietly.
Jungkook shrugs. âMBTI is fake. Whatâs yours?â
Taehyung regards him with narrow-eyed amusement. âCapricorn.â
Jimin face-palms himself while Jungkook cracks an impressed smile, jumping headfirst into conversation with Taehyung about horoscopes and tarot.
âIs it safe to leave those two like that?â asks Namjoon.
Jimin smirks. âAre you jealous, hyung?â
âNope, just wanna prevent chaos.â
They settle into one of the tables in the cafĂŠâthe one beside Table 7, which is currently empty. Not that Jimin was particularly paying attention. He just happened to brush his gaze past the area where he would typically to find Yoongi.
âOh, heâs out for band practice.â
He looks up just as Taehyung sets down three glasses of water on their table, sending Jimin a prim smile. âAnd no, you didnât say anything aloud. I just guessed what you were thinking.â
âI wasnât thinking anything,â protests Jimin.
âOkay, Yoongi-hyung simp.â Taehyung winks.
â/Yoongi/?âJungkookâs eyesbrows jump to his hairline. âIsnât that your penpal first love, Jimin-sshi?â
At his words, Taehyung gawks and squeaks at Jimin, making jazz hands. âI knew it! I knew it! Yoonmin is real!â
Jimin turns and hides his face in Namjoonâs muscular shoulder.
[Sprout]
help
iâm hiding in the toilet to avoid my friendsâ teasing
word about the crush is out ig
[chrys]
hey sry busy rn
ttyl :]
Sitting in the toilet to let the teasing mood from outside die down, Jimin stares at the reply on his phone, awash with a sense of dĂŠjĂĄ vu.
Sometimes, Chrysantemumâs manner of texting reminds him of how Yoongi was in his high school years. Of course thereâs no correlation, but his Yoongi-like qualities, like using the :] emoji, really does remind Jimin of how Yoongiâs texts looked like.
[Sprout]
haha sure no probs
He pockets his phone and exits the bathroom stall to wash his hands.
This is bad. There is potential disaster to be wrecked with the rate of teasing his friends are doing, & the last thing Jimin wants is to jeopardize the odd, fragile truce between him and Yoongi at the moment.
He canât let things get shaken up when he and Yoongi have only just begun to repair their friendship. Jimin shakes his head. Jungkook sets foot in Seoul for two hours and heâs already exposed Jimin to /Yoongiâs childhood friend./
For humanityâs sake, Jungkook must be stopped.
âAh, Jimin-ah.â Hoseok gently steers him by the elbow when Jimin passes by him in his way out of the gentsâ, âI forgot to tell you something.â
âHmm?â
âEomma wanted me to tell youâtomorrow, weâll be visiting some family from by appaâs side, so weâll be away for the weekend.â
âOh. Okay.â Jimin mulls it over. âWait, and the family carâ?â
âAppaâll be taking it,â Hoseok elaborates. He studies Jiminâs face, but seems to find nothing too alarming. âWill you okay?â
âYeah, itâs justââJimin hesitatesââmy brotherâs landing in Seoul tomorrow. I have no ride.â
Hoseokâs eyes widen. âAh. Shit.â He looks around, as it a solution might present itself nearby, begore his gaze brightens up. âOh. I remember your Yoongi-hyung drove us to the hospital before, back when I hurt my hip. Why donât you try asking if heâll be free?â
Jimin blanches.
He hates asking for favors, even from friends. âItâs okay, Iâll just take the trainââ
âWhat, and travel back to Seoul dragging all of your brotherâs luggage with you?â Hoseok interjects as they walk back together to Jiminâs table. âNonsense.â
âWe could take a cabâŚâ
You need a ride to the airport?â Taehyung raises his hand like a student in a classroom. âWhy?â
âJihyunâs coming to Seoul tomorrow,â says Jimin with a sigh, dropping to his seat next to Namjoon. âIâll just take a cab to fetch him, really.â
Taehyung and Jungkook exchange looks.
Jimin doesnât know what goes on in their wordless exchange, except now Taehyung is whipping his phone out with a smirk. âDonât mind me,â he says. âI know a few friends who drive. Let me give one a call.â
He presses on a contact name and sets his phone on speaker.
âHello?â
As soon as he recognizes Yoongiâs sleepy, honey-glazed drawl, Jimin face-palms his face and drops his head to the table in mortification. No. Noooo.
âHyung, Jiminâs in trouble,â Taehyung preludes.
A pause. The line goes quiet for a moment. Then: âWhat happened?â
Taehyung heaves a dramatic sigh, one hand snatching the phone out of reach when Jimin tries to make a jump to end the call. âHis brotherâs landing in Seoul tomorrow. But⌠I donât know how to break it to you, hyung.â
âKim Taehyung,â Yoongi snaps. âIâm busy. Just spit it.â
âThereâs no one who can send Jimin to Seoul,â Taehyung says in one rushed breath. âAnd he has no car. Poor Mimi.â
More silence. Jimin can practically see the confusion on Yoongiâs face. âWhy wonât he take the train then?â
âSee?â Jimin points a finger at Taehyung. âI told you!â
Taehyung pouts. âYou wonât be free to drive him?â
Yoongi clears his throat. âI mean. If I have toââ
âHi, Yoongi-sshii,â Jungkook leans towards Taehyungâs speaker.
ââwho was that?â Yoongi asks.
âI told you, Iâd take the train,â Jimin says, while they speak over one another.
âWait, did you put me on speaker, Taehyung-ah?â Yoongi says suddenly.
Taehyung bites his lower lip. âYeah, but just temporarily. Listen, if you could justââ
The line goes dead.
For a moment, and very vividly, Jimin is thrust back into a similar scenario years ago.
The four of them stare at Taehyungâs phone screen.
âThat went well,â Taehyung says.
âHe doesnât enjoy calls,â Jimin says, recalling the 1st time he & Yoongi spoke over the phone. âAnd doesnât like being put on the spot like thatâŚâ
âWe love a concerned friend,â coos Taehyung.
Jimin presses his lips together in a thin, reproachful expression. âI hope you apologize to him.â He reaches into his pocket to take out his own phone. Heâs got half a mind to ask for Yoongiâs number to call him himself, but thereâs no way Yoongi would pick up now.
[jimin of the park]
hyung?
knock knock
taehyung is sorry
and me too
you got dragged into my issue
i hope youâre ok
Jimin stares at the very first string of texts he sent over a private Kakaochat with Yoongi, feeling remorseful that his conversation opener is an apology.
[dtownbeats]
Thatâs it. Thatâs all he sends, and Jimin has to bite down a squeak at the rush of fierce affection that suddenly floods his chest.
[jimin of the park]
sorry for the trouble, really
and that person who spoke was jungkook
my busan childhood neighbor?
you know him
[dtownbeats]
oh
thanks for clarifying
iâm not mad or anything btw
just got whiplashed
haha
what time is your brotherâs plane arriving?
[jimin of the park]
no no pls thereâs really no need
i got this
iâll be fine
really
itâs 5.30pm btw
[dtownbeats]
iâll pick you up at 4.30 then
Jimin stares at the last text, scratching his head.
Well. Since he still insisting on offering a ride even after Jimin has explicitly and politely declined, it looks like Jimin has no choice but to accept, for the sake of not souring their friendship.
[jimin of the park]
ok
jihyun can be a bit of a naughty handful
and sassy
but heâs a good kid
[dtownbeats]
sounds like someone i know
[jimin of the park]
whatâs that supposed to mean hhh
excuse u
hello
[dtownbeats]
4.30
:]
[jimin of the park]
if you insist
True to his word, Yoongiâs car honks outside the Jung residenceâs gate at half past 4 the following day.
Jimin slips into his white sneakers before rushing outside and sliding into the passenger seat, pausing for a split second to absorb the sight of Yoongi in a grey tee shirt.
âIs that your just-hopped-out-of-bed hairdo?â Jimin teases with a huff, snapping his seatbelt on.
Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, which aggravates Jiminâs must-touch instinct. âMost people I do favors for say thank you, first thing. And yes, I woke up from a nap like this.â
âI mean, you offered, so is it still a favor or a proposition?â Jimin fires back.
Yoongi huffs as he drives off. âNeither, I was raised to be generous towards the needy.â
âAh, yes, so Iâm a charity case.â Jimin clamps his hands over his heart. âEvery manâs dream!â
Yoongi shows him a hard case of eyeroll. âSo Jungkookâs in town, huh.â
âMm-hmm. He and Tae hit it off right away, not that Iâm surprised,â Jimin replies, easily settling into their new topic. Switching up amidst their rapid fire banter is beginning to feel like second skin now.
âHas Tae apologized to you, by the way?â
Yoongi nods, sending his bedhead flopping over his forehead in a way that has strands falling towards his eyes. Itâs so messy. Jimin is half-scared itâll block his vision, and wouldnât that be dangerous for a driver?
âPull over a sec.â
âHuh? Why, whyââ Yoongi protests weakly, all the while obliging as he veers to the side of the street anyway.
âJust do it.â Jimin reaches into his bagâs pockets for a rubber band. Once the car slows, he beckons Yoongi forward. âCome here. Your hair is fucking with your eyes.â
âMy hair is perfectly FINE, how dare you touch every perfect strandâŚâ Yoongi grumbles while leaning towards Jimin and tipping his chin down.
Brows pinched in concentration, Jimin reaches over and rakes a hand over Yoongiâs hair, before gathering up a bunch into the rubber band.
âWhat the hell,â Jimin complains, scowling, âhowâs your hair this soft and thick? Mine is all cracklinâ.â
âMaybe because you /bleached/ it,â Yoongi mumbles.
âI wasnât asking for your opinion.â
âIâm sharing a fact. Bleached hair dries out easily.â
Jimin tugs at Yoongiâs hair.
âOw. Hey, be gentle, Iâm a sensitive honeyboy,â Yoongi laments in a fake-whine, making Jimin snort.
Once he finishes tying Yoongiâs hair to keep his bangs away from his eyes. Jimin pats Yoongiâs head & pulls away. âThere. You look like a little sprout.â
At that, Yoongi smiles.
âYou look five years old with that hairstyle,â Jimin remarks as Yoongi hits the road again, joining traffic.
âWeird way of praising my youthful genes, but thank you.â
âYeah no, I shouldâve said you look like a broomstick.â
Yoongi reaches out to swipe a palm over Jiminâs face.
Jimin retaliates by darting out his tongue and licking the centre of Yoongiâs palm.
âEugh. Gross, Park Jimin.â Yoongi makes a face and wipes his hand on his jeans. âNo need to resort to cannibalism!â
âHeee.â
After a moment of comfortable silence, Yoongi ruffles Jiminâs hair.
The thing about spending time with Yoongi is thisâJimin hardly even notices time is being spent at all. Every moment seems to exist within its own forever, a string of infinities, and yet infinity with Yoongi never seems to be quite enough.
Thus, they reach the airport too soon.
Jimin jostles his way through the crowd waiting at Arrival Gate 4, then holds up a small sign written in permanent black marker: âJimini Bro Park Jihyunâ. On the other hand, Yoongi lingers at the back, where the crowd is thinning out.
Soon, a boy in a denim jacket appears.
Jiminâs heart soars at the instant recognition of his brotherâs face. âJihyunie!â He starts waving wildly.
Jihyun surveys the crowd, face lighting up when he picks out Jimin. He dashes to close the 50 or paces between them, going for a running embrace into Jiminâs arms. âHyung!â
Jimin laughs, spinning his brother around as they break apart from the crowd to join where Yoongi is standing. âDude, youâve gotten so tall.â
Jihyun throws up gang signs. âCredits to Australian cows.â
âJihyun-ah!â a sweet tenor calls out from the arrival crowd.
Jimin looks up.
And there he is, just as breathtakingly striking and delicate-looking as Jimin remembers. Lee Taemin, dressed in a plain white V-neck long-sleeve and jeans, stands and pauses when his gaze shifts from Jihyun to Jimin. He grins and waves. âHey!â
Jimin is frozen.
/Taemin./
Shit.
He steps back from hugging Jihyun to throw a panicked glance at Yoongi, whoâs eyeing Taemin like heâs not sure if heâs the one being waved at.
Jimin does the biggest internal cringe he has ever done at his own carelessness. How could he have /forgotten/ Taemin was coming along?
Heart slamming against his ribcage, Jimin tugs at Yoongiâs sleeve. âHyung, I need to tell you something important.â
Yoongiâs eyes narrow. âOh yeah?â
âI forgot about it, but actually today Jihyunâs being accompanied byââ
âSweetheart,â Taemin greets, halting before Jimin.
Jiminâs mouth goes dry as he stares at his ex, who he does actually still hold lots of platonic affection for. âHey.â
âTaemin-hyung snored on the flight,â Jihyun quips.
At the name, Yoongiâs gait visibly stiffens. Jimin wants to smack himself.
Taemin asks, âHowâve you been?â
And then, the next thing Jimin knows, heâs being gathered like a little kid in Taeminâs hug, strong arms fastening around his shoulder. Jimin squeaks as the scent of Taeminâs signature pear and musk colonge. âLong time no see, sweetheart!â
Jimin glances around.
Yoongi is gone.
TBC.
Time to sleep. Any theories?
But before you go, please consider supporting my university spendings on Ko-Fi Iâd really appreciate it, because Iâm gonna be alone in SeoulâŚ
thank you so much in advance!!!
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Thank you SO much for this heartfelt art, I feel so soft looking at their expressions
If youâve created DMF art that I havenât linked on the thread, please kindly quote your original tweet it on the community group so I can give it the love it deserves!!
After returning a quick squeeze, Jimin carefully extricates himself from Taeminâs hug, head swiveling about in search for Yoongi. He couldâve sworn the guy was just there a second ago.
âI need to buy a sim card,â says Taemin, gesturing to a nearby booth.
Jimin nods. âGo ahead.â
While Taemin inquires at the booth, Jihyun tagging along, Jimin whips out his phone.
[jimin of the park]
hyung :(
iâm rly sorry, I forgot to tell you about it, it slipped my mind
where are you?
He starts fretting when his messages get âreadâ, but receive no reply whatsoever.
Because what if Yoongi is having a panic attack right now, at this very moment? Sure, he seems to have gotten better over the years, but Jimin still isnât aware just how much he can take.
[jimin of the park]
i wonât ask you to come out
but at least let me go to you
mindeulle-ssi
[dtownbeats]
hi
sry i just
bathroom emergency
near the duty free store
Jimin frowns at the messages, sniffing out the obvious excuse. Heâd seen the way Yoongi went stiff the moment Taemin turned up.
[jimin of the park]
coming
He wastes no second in dashing towards the gentsâ.
Jimin is fully expecting to find Yoongi locking himself in a bathroom stall, to coax him out if need be. So itâs a huge relief when he finds the guy at the sink facing the mirrors, wiping his hands on a paper towel before reaching up to loosen the rubber band around his hair.
âHyung,â Jimin says, gingerly approaching him from the entrance. âAre you okay?â
Yoongi barely gives him a nod of acknowledgment, eyes trained in his hair. âDo I look stupid?â
Jiminâs gaze follows his sprout-like hair, which is a little disheveled, which a few strands loose.
Jimin shakes his head, coming to a stop next to Yoongi. He leans against the edge of the sink countertop. âYou look fine.â
Yoongi glances down at himselfâplain black shirt, grey sweatpants. âIâm so underdressed.â
âHyung.â Jimin can practically /feel/ the distress from him.
He reaches out both hands to hold Yoongi by the shoulders, which seems to do the trick. Yoongi catches himself and raises his gaze to meet Jiminâs worried one.
âBreathe with me?â Jimin says, making a show of showing his chest rising in an inhale. Yoongi nods, obliging.
They stand in complete silence, breathing together in the middle of a near-empty bathroom. If the other stranger dudes who pass them by have anything to say about two guys seemingly meditating together, they donât voice it out.
âThatâs better,â Jimin says, concern not abating.
Instead of dropping his hands, he gently slides them to the back of Yoongiâs head, pressing soothing circles into the base of his skull. Yoongiâs eyes flutter closed.
âYou look fine, hyung.â
âMy hair, I just- I donât have a combââ
âWant me to re-tie it for you?â Jimin offers.
Yoongi hesistates, eyes snapping open to look at Jimin dubiously. Jimin lifts an eyebrow.
âIt doesnât look stupid, I swear.â Jimin reaches up to fiddle with the hairs sticking out of the bun, then faces the mirror. âSee? Itâs cute!â
Yoongiâs Adamâs apple bobs up & down. âYeah?â
Jimin has to suppress a giggle at the pout making its way to Yoongiâs face. âCome on, donât believe me?â He crosses his arms and cocks his head to one side. âItâs like you want me to insult you!â
Yoongi rolls his eyes, then nudges him with an elbow.
Jimin cracks a smile.
He points up to Yoongiâs hair questioningly, & once he gets a nod of permission, reaches up with both hands to gently weave a new bun on the crown of Yoongiâs head. âLetâs make you look even cuter.â
âPark Jimin, donât coddle me.â
âFine, letâs yassify you, then.â
Yoongi snorts.
Jimin steps an inch closer, concentrating on gathering just the right amount of hair. âI mean it, just now. Iâm sorry for forgetting to tell you about Taemin coming.â
Yoongi shrugs. âItâs⌠itâs whatever. Iâll deal.â He clears his throat. âHeâs⌠heâs the ex, I presume?â
âYep.â
Yoongi nods, eyes dropping to the sink counter. âCool, cool.â
âThere we go,â Jimin stands back to appraise his own handiwork, smiling to himself. He lifts Yoongiâs chin to the mirror. âBun!â
Yoongi narrows his eyes. âWhy do I get the feeling Iâm getting the Ken doll treatment?â
Jimin shoots him finger guns. âIn other words, runway-worthy.â He pinches the apples of Yoongiâs cheeks, earning him a huff and an eyeroll. âReady to face the big bad world again?â
When Yoongiâs gaze falters for a moment, Jimin hops forward to sling an arm around his shoulders.
âCome on, mindeulle. Iâll introduce you to them this time, properly.â
Yoongi relents, but drags his feet all the way out the bathroom. âWhyâs Taemin here anyway?â
âChaperoning my brother back. Heâs still too young.â
âThatâs all?â
Jimin blinks. âWhat else is there?â
Yoongi presses his lips together in his bracket-shaped not-quite-a-smile. âSo⌠why does heâŚâ He trails off.
âWhat?â Jimin presses.
Yoongi clears his throat, his left eyebrow twitching, then shakes his head. âNothing. Forget it.â
Jimin nudges him. âJust say it.â
âForget it!â
Yoongiâs nostrils flare with annoyance, and he squirms out of Jiminâs arm. âNuh. Thing.â
Heâs so adorable. How can someone so cool and mature also be this cute? Jimin has to physically refrain from making cooing noises at this point. He masks his reaction with a shrug. ââKay.â
Nevertheless, he loops an arm around Yoongiâs and half-swaggers, half-drags him towards where Taemin and Jihyun are standing.
ââŚaha!â Taemin exclaims with a grin when his phone finally regains reception, thanks to his new sim card. He catches Jiminâs eye and nods. âHeyo.â
Then his gaze slides to Yoongi, and he blinks a couple of times, pupils dilating with what Jimin assumes is curiosity. âAnd hiâŚ?â
âThis,â Jimin says, gesturing to the entirety of Yoongiâs person. âIs my friendââ
âDaebak,â Jihyun exhales slowly. âBlue&Greyâs THE Min Yoongi?â
At the sign of recognition, the cloud of uncertainty over Yoongiâs eyes parts with sudden clarity. Bashfully, he scratches the back of his ear, but rolls his shoulders back. âWellâŚâ
âLawwwd, you are!â Jihyun squeaks, mouth dropping open. He turns to Jimin, eyes gleaming.
âHyung, whyâd you never say you were friends with /Min Yoongi/?â
Jimin raises both hands in surrender. âI was about to say heâs our ride back to Seoul today, actually.â
âWhat!â Jihyung holds his head with both hands, gobsmacked as he stares up at Yoongi. âThis is so cool.â
Meanwhile, Taemin edges closer, eyeing Jihyun and Yoongi. âHuh. Looks like your little broâs a fan.â
âI watched your New Yearâs busking performance at Hongdae this year,â Jihyun gushes, hands clutching his backpack strap tighter. âGreat Maroon 5 cover. Loved the new song, too.â
Yoongi ducks his head, grinning from ear to ear. âI didnât think people outside Korea would listenâŚâ
âWhat! No way! We love you guysâ music. Iâm here to follow my passion, too, can you sign my shirt?â
As Yoongiâs face turns deeper shades of scarlet, Jimin holds back a laugh.
Heâs so deeply engrossed watching the interaction between Yoongi and his younger brother that he completely misses the knowing look that passes Taeminâs eye when he, in turn, observe the three of them.
âAnyway!â Jimin claps his hand to save Yoongi from the fanboying overload.
He clamps down hands on Jihyunâs shoulders and steers him towards the parking lot. âWeâll continue everything in the car, and then you can go ahead and grill Yoongi-hyung to your heartâs content.â
On the walk to the carpark, Jihyun chatters away with Yoongi.
âHey,â Taemin says.
âHey yourself,â Jimin answers, watching Yoongi & Jihyun from behind. Jihyun is asking about genres & favorite songs, which Yoongi answers with much gusto.
âYou look good,â Taemin says, finally earning Jiminâs wide-eyed gaze. âHappy.â
âI do?â
âYep. Guess Seoul was a good move?â
Jiminâs smile softens as he glances back to the pair walking ahead of them. âYou think? What makes you say so?â
Taemin shrugs. âIâm asking /you./â
To be frank, Jimin hasnât been reflecting on whether moving back has done him more good than bad. âMaybe. But anywayâhow are YOU?â
Taemin gives him a brief summary of whatâs been going on in his lifeâhe got hired at a new company with better wages and a less toxic supervisor, and heâs been volunteering at an elderly home on weekends. Heâs good. Always has been.
They reach Yoongiâs car, which beeps unlocked.
âCan I call shotgun?â Jihyun pleads, eyes going round.
Jimin hesitates, eyes flickering to meet Yoongiâs.
âJihyun-ah, we havenât inserted your new sim card yet,â Taemin quips in a stern tone, opening the passengerâs seat door. âCome on, let me help you. Hop in.â
Jihyun pouts.
Jimin gives his little brother a gentle push. âGo on. Yoongi-hyung isnât going anywhere.â
âEugh. Fine.â Jihyun sighs and steps in after Taemin.
Once Jimin double-checks that the trunk is all loaded and closed, he joins the rest of them by getting into the passenger seat.
âSeatbelt.â Yoongiâs firm reminder is the first thing he hears.
Jimin rolls his eyes. âYes, good sir.â
Yoongi casts him a sidelong glance, then looks at the rearview mirror. âEveryone buckled in?â
Only after he gets affirmatives from everyone does he drive out of the carpark.
Once theyâre safely in the expressway, Yoongi surprises Jimin by starting the conversation first. âSo uh. How long is Taemin-ssi planning to stay in Seoul?â
âHmm?â Taemin pipes up. âOh. Just a week.â
Yoongi nods.
Jimin turns around on his seat. âWhere are you staying, though?â
âMy older sister has a place in Gangnam,â Taemin answers. âIâll crash her place and visit other relatives here, too. Why, were you gonna offer your own place, sweetheart?â
From Jiminâs periphery, he spies Yoongiâs head twitch slightly, like heâs trying not to look Jiminâs way.
Jimin throws his head back to laugh good-naturedly. Looks like Taemin really hasnât dropped his pet name for him from when theyâd been an item together. âIâd offer, but Iâm currently just crashing auntâs place, too.â
âJimin-ah, could you prepare some loose change?â Yoongi quips.
âHuh?â Jimin faces Yoongi. âWhere?â
âMy walletâs in the compartment. Toll gateâs coming.â
âUm.â Squinting, Jimin makes a curious noise when he finds nothing looming in the far horizon. Weird, but okay. Maybe Yoongi wants to prepare in advance. âSure.â
Taemin smiles to himself.
âBy the way, what happened to that necklace you always wear, Jiminie?â
Jiminâs blood goes cold in his veins.
This time, Yoongi does tip his head to shoot him a fleeting sidelong look.
âUm,â Jimin titters nervously, âwhat necklace?â
âThe silver one, shaped like a guitar pick?â
Jimin lets out a string of forced, staccato giggling. âAhhh.â He does NOT look at the driverâs seat.
âYou never took it off in Australia, so I was wondering why itâs not there today,â Taemin continues so casually that he yawns mid-way. âWhat was it again? It reminds you of hoââ
âHot summer days!â Jimin interjects in a garbled rush, punctuating his outburst with a pitchy giggle. âBecause yes, silver has a cooling effect on the skin! And it was really useful in Perth, you know.â
Beside him, Yoongi has fallen quiet, but he nods along. âInteresting.â
âYeah, and like, it was a pretty pendantââ
âJiminââ
ââand there was something cool about wearing a guitar pick around, right Taemin-hyung?â
âJimin,â Yoongi says evenly. âThe toll fee.â
Jimin blinks and pauses, heart palpitating so hard it echoes in his ears. âAh. Right.â
He lifts the compartment lid and rummages through the the coin pouch in Yoongiâs wallet, grateful for something to be busy with. As the car slows, Jimin hands over the loose change. âHere.â
Meanwhile, from behind, Taemin hums in thought. âDidnât the necklace remind you of home?â
Jimin fights back a squeak and does the only thing a cornered boy like him can do in such a small space, with limited avenues for exit.
âHooo,â he yawns. stretching his arms out. Then he collapses back against the seat and lets his head loll sideways to rest on the windowsil.
âJimin? Sweetheart?â Taemin prompts.
Jimin remains laying still, screwing his eyes shut.
âHeâs dead,â Yoongi deadpans.
âHeâs meditating, yâall,â Jihyun supplies helpfully.
A huff sounds from next to Jimin, followed by the sound of the passenger seatâs sun visor being lowered.
Jimin continues to fake sleeping. He must be a pretty darn good method actor, because in between his somewhat comfortable position and Yoongiâs smooth driving, he eventually does end up getting pulled to drowiness.
The last thing he hears isâ
ââŚpass me the blanket from theâŚâ
WHY DID EVERYONE THINK IT WAS GONNA BE ANGSTY?
Good night, thank you for staying up with me. Please shower me with love, I could use the energy boost.
Or you could also help support me on ko-fi; Iâm miles from my budget goal
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Dear My Friend: Yoongiâs POV
âWhile Jimin Naps
⢠what happens in Yoongiâs car on the ride from the airport with Taemin and Jihyun.
⢠enjoy!
Link:
patreon.com/posts/66829805
During his first few nights in Perth, Jimin could barely catch a wink of fitful sleep. He was one of those people who was picky about beds, and the one in his new room felt too foreign for comfort. The few times he did succumb to exhaustion, however, he used to dream of Yoongi.
Specifically, his voice. Calling him by the name.
/Jimin-ah./
At that time, he didnât know what or how to think of Yoongi; Jimin had been too engulfed in the shame and self-hate that came with kissing a boy. His subconscious, though, was far kinder to him than reality.
Because in his dreams, his Yoongi hyungâs voice always sounded so warm and tender. Like forgiveness. Like he was saying, /Itâs okay./
Then Jimin would wake up, and the nightmare of real life would come haunt him all over again.
âJimin-ahâŚâ
Yoongiâs voice has always been soft.
âYah, Park Jimin. Wake up, idiot.â
Okayâbut never in THAT tone.
Jimin jerks awake, head lifting from the passenger seatâs windowsill. The first thing that dawns on him is how thereâs a fuzzy grey mini blanket draped over his chest.
That, and Taemin isnât in the car anymore.
Jimin looks around and realizes theyâre already outside the gates of the Jung residence.
Yoongi nods. âWeâre here.â
The backseat door opens as Jihyun hops outside and races to ring the bell. âTouchdown!â
âWhat about Taemin-hyungâŚ?â
âDropped him off at Gangnam. You were K.O.â
Jiminâs upper lip curls sardonically at Yoongi. âYou were nicer in my dreams,â he slurs through a yawn, still blinking humself back to full alertness.
Yoongi shoots him an odd look, eyes filling with amusement. Jimin ignores the implication that he /dreamt/ of Yoongi. In plural.
Outside, the gate opens wide and Hoseok hops out to pull Jihyun in a headlock. âYooo, cousin!â
Jihyun bursts into laughter, eyes crinkling at the corners. Jimin grins at the sight.
âHe smiles like you.â
âHmm?â
Yoongi nods towards his younger brother as Hoseok escorts him in.
âThank you for confirming our sibling relationship.â
Yoongi stares at him flatly. âYeah, and youâre nicer when youâre asleep.â
Jimin snorts, unbuckling his seatbelt. âWhatever. Thanks for the ride, hyung. Coffeeâs on me when you visit the cafĂŠ next time.â
âJimin-ah.â
âYeah?â
Jimin turns just in time to catch Yoongiâs knuckles tightening and loosening over the steering wheel. âThanks for, you know. Just now at the airport.â
âOh.â Jimin blinks. âItâs no biggie.â
He sits and waits, sensing that Yoongi still has more to add from his pinched expression.
Yoongi lets out a slow breath. âTaemin⌠heâs good. Iâm happy for yourâ Australia era.â
âAustralia era,â Jimin repeats, fighting back a cackle.
Yoongi squirms. âYou donât have to answer. But uh. How- how were you? Those years. Out there.â
Jiminâs chest gives a soft squeeze.
It never occurred to him that Yoongi would wonder. Why would he? Jimin and he had beef during that time, and they arenât sure if either of them are ready to touch on the topic. Jimin swallows, taking his time to contemplate.
/Okay at best, miserable at worst,/ he wants to say.
âI learned a lot,â Jimin states carefully.
/I had to rely on myself and I hated adulting./
Yoongi keeps staring at him expectantly, and damn if those burnished eyes arenât hard to lie to.
So Jimin dishes out half-truths. âI met a lot of people. Partied a lot. Studied English.â
/I wasnât home a lot. I burned out trying to support myself. I was an emotional mess./
See, the thing about relating personal experiences is that the messy things arenât too great to talk about. Moreover, Jimin would hate for Yoongi to worryâor worseâthink badly of his actions.
/I missed you so bad./ Jimin blinks rapidly at the sudden wave of tears stinging his eyes.
âAh, the universal young adult experience, then,â Yoongi quips with a nod, his gaze never leaving Jiminâs.
âYup.â Jimin clears his throat and shrugs in what he hopes is a casual manner.
Unable to deal with the invisible tension in the car, he pushes the car door open and steps out.
âJimin, wait.â Yoongi unbuckles his own seatbelt and ducks out to round the car, brisk-walking to the other side so that Jimin ends up leaning against the passenger door. âI just.â
Jimin folds his arms as a prelude to cradling his own elbows close. âWhat is it?â
Yoongi glances down to the base of his throat, then cracks a half-smirk. âMy blanketâs still on you.â
âOh.â Jimin clamps his mouth shut & uncrosses his arms to let Yoongi peel the fabric off him.
Once itâs off, Yoongi folds it over his left forearm. Then he takes Jimin by surprise and leans in with his right arm against the carâs roof, caging Jimin against the passenger door. His eyes flicker up to Jiminâs again.
âWah, wah- hyung?â
Yoongi sighs, forehead creasing.
âIâm really nervous about doing this,â Yoongi mumbles, closing his eyes, making Jiminâs heart leap out of its ribcage.
Itâs late at night. Thereâs no one else around, no sound except the occasional meow of an alley cat.
Yoongi bumps his temple against Jiminâs gently. âBoop.â
Butterflies arenât aggressive enough for the leaping, twisting, zesty sensation that takes up all the space in Jiminâs gut.
The action is so unexpected, so random, that Jimin barks out a muted giggle & instinctively lifts one hand to rest against Yoongiâs nape, fingers curling.
âYou laugh,â Yoongi grumbles, lips brushing the shell of his ear in a way that sends tingles down Jiminâs toes. âIâm just returning the favor.â
Truth be told, Jiminâs laughter was a prologue to the sudden tears that spring to his eyes, like the first wave of a cracking dam.
Holding onto his last string of self-restraint, Jimin manages not to burst into pitiful sobbing like a child. Instead, he lets his head fall forward to hide his face into the warm crook of Yoongiâs neck, one hand trembling against his nape.
âYouâre such a weirdo,â Jimin murmurs.
âIf by weirdo you mean wonderful, then Iâll take the compliment.â Yoongi steps forward, closing the gap between their chests, and draws Jimin into the sweet fold of his arms as they lean against the car.
âNice to know youâre capable of /hugging/,â Jimin quips, voice muffled.
âExcuse you, I cuddled you when you came to our house,â Yoongi whispers.
âBecause I /asked/,â Jimin retorts with a petulant pout, his left arm rising to grip the hem of Yoongiâs tee shirt. âToday is a record because I /didnât/ ask. Get the difference?â
âYouâre impossible.â
âYouâre stingy,â Jimin replies, relishing the way he can /feel/ Yoongiâs shoulders quaking with silent laughter, mirroring the exact same earthquake inside Jiminâs chest. He wonders if his heartbeat is thunderous enough for Yoongi to notice.
Yoongi steps back and cups his face.
Jimin grins wickedly and closes his fingers around Yoongiâs wrists. âYou know what this means, donât you?â
Yoongiâs eyes dim for a moment, then glint with realization. âFuck.â He clucks his tongue, shaking his head as he removes one hand from Jiminâs face to dig into his pocket.
âI canât believe Iâve become piggybank fodder,â Yoongi grumbles as he drops a 500-won coin into Jiminâs open palm.
Jimin sticks his tongue out and jerks his chin towards the car behind them. âYou drive an Audi, mindeulle. Iâll take your nuggets.â
Yoongi flicks his forehead.
âI donât even take it out that much,â Yoongi reasons, stepping back to walk Jimin to the gate. âI prefer public transport.â
âWhy?â Jimin says, following his trail to the gate.
Yoongi scrunches his nose, then mutters darkly, âParking fees.â
Jimin lets out a garbled snort.
âYouâre a loser.â Jimin puts up an L-sign with his fingers to his own forehead, then scuttles into the gate before Yoongi can yeet him out of the planet.
âYah, Iâm a savvy spender,â Yoongi argues, his voice carrying over the gate. âShit, iâm talking to a wall, arenât I.â
Jimin covers his giggle with a hand and tip-toes to their front door.
âNight, marigold!â Yoongiâs aggressive half-whisper chases him into the night.
Biting back a grin, Jimin whispers back before stepping into the house, âNight night, mindeulle! Thanks again!â
l
In dreams without Yoongi, Jimin often imagined coming home to a laughing, complete family, with home-cooked food steaming on the dining table. His eomma would ask how his day was while his appa told them stories about /his/ day, because Jiminâs dad was one heck of a storyteller.
Heâd long since given up on it until now, stepping through the front door of his cousinâs house.
At once, he hears Hoseokâs bright, sparkling laughter as he, Jihyun & Uncle Sejin play poker cards in a circle around the carpet.
âJimin-ah!â Aunt Miseon says. âHelp set the table?â
Months ago, Jiminâs heart might have palpitated at the sight and he mightâve fled the scene, convinced that this canât be real, that something so good canât be for people like him.
Now thought, while he still wonders how this can last, Jimin accepts the way his eyes water.
âOkay,â he chirps simply, hurrying to set down the last of Jihyunâs belongings next to the couch before moving to help with the dining table.
He mostly stays in a happy, quiet haze during dinner, heart feeling lighter than it has in ages as he watches his little brother eat.
They chatter about Jihyunâs flight, about Taemin chaperoning him to Seoul, and for a short while Jimin gets teased when everyone around the table finds out heâs his ex. While warding off the teasing remarks, Jiminâs heart soars as he thinksâ
/Theyâre okay that I had a boyfriend./
Jimin is a boy who had a boyfriend, and all Hoseokâs family can ask is âwho was tallerâ, âwho had better hairâ and âwho snores in his sleepâ, and Jimin is so close to blubbering again.
That is, until Aunt Miseon goes Mom Mode and launches on a lecture against /running away./
At least Jihyun has the tact to shrink back and look apologetic. In his defense, according to him, he had the funds and friends to help him out, since it didnât seem like his eomma cared all that much.
âShe just called, actually,â Uncle Sejin mentions. âBefore you got here.â
Jimin and Jihyunâs eyes go wide in mirroring expressions. âEhhh?!â
Aunt Miseon nods. âWe were on the drive back from Ilsan when she called to ask if Jihyun got to Korea okay.â
Jimin gnaws on his lower lip and looks down to pick at his seafood, torn about how to feel. âHuh.â
âI bet she was gonna scold me!â Jihyun singsongs, but one glance at his eyes tells Jimin just how curiousâand even hopefulâhis brother must be feeling.
âDid she ask to speak to us?â Jimin adds.
Aunt Miseon and Uncle Sejin exchange loaded glances.
Jimin sighs. âProbably not.â
âSheâll come around to it,â says Uncle Sejin, avoiding their gazes.
Jimin doubts so.
Aunt Miseon glances at Jihyun. âWanna see your hyungâs room? Do you want your own bed?â
âIâll go get more rice,â volunteers Jimin, trying to ignore the sinking feeling replacing his euphoria.
Eventually the conversation shifts to lighter topics, and later on the family sits around the living room playing board games until midnight. Then they retire to their respective rooms. Jihyun takes the shower first, so Jimin sits in his bed, recollecting moments from the day.
[Sprout]
dear my friendâ
Jimin pauses, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. When it comes to his personal issues, habit has him thinking of contacting Chrys first. But this isnât really an urgent emergency, and besides, someone else has just expressed curiosity about Jiminâs life.
[jimin of the park]
hi boop buddy
[dtownbeats]
?
[jimin of the park]
[dtownbeats]
whatâs the matter
[jimin of the park]
what makes you think somethingâs the matter
[dtownbeats]
you hardly text
also, that emoji is a red flag
[jimin of the park]
emojis canât be toxic pls
[dtownbeats]
are you bored, canât sleep, or what
[jimin of the park]
little bit of all
jihyunâs still in the shower
[dtownbeats]
glad to know Iâm a past-time
[jimin of the park]
hyung
what is family to you?
This time, Yoongiâs answer is not immediate.
[dtownbeats]
why?
[jimin of the park]
just wondering ă ă
/dtownbeats is typingâŚ/
Jimin stares at the screen for several long moments, but the typing keeps going until his bedroom door creaks and his brother pokes his head in.
âYour turn, hyung.â
âOh.â Jimin looks up from his phone. âOkay.â
He tosses his phone aside on his bed and heads into the shower. By the time he steps out, toweling off the dripping ends of his hair, Jihyun is already lounging on Jiminâs bed, browsing on his phone. It seems heâs already claimed the left side. Fine with Jimin.
âSeoul really is next level,â Jihyun says without looking up from his phone screen, eyes wide. He turns his phone towards Jimin. âHow is it that some places can deliver even this late at night?â
âSome places open âtil late,â Jimin explains, sitting next to him. âWhy, you still hungry? We still have some leftoverââ
Jihyun shakes his head. âI just love technology. And I missed real Korean food, I guess.â
Jiminâs heart twists.
Australia never did truly taste like home. He opens his mouth to further interrogate his little brother, but Jihyun beats him before words come.
âYour phoneâs been vibrating, by the way.â Jihyun nods at Jiminâs cellphone on top of the blanket. âWhoâs user âdtownbeatsâ, anyway?
Jiminâs mouth forms a small âoâ shape as he makes a dive for his phone, scrolling through the visible notifications. Distractedly, he replies, âHeâs Yoongi-hyung.â
âOh.â Thoughtful silence. âYou guys a thing?â
âWhat?â Jimin splutters, lowering his phone to his lap to gape at his little brother. âWhat gave you that silly idea? Get outta here.â
Jihyun tilts his head, eyes glinting with mischief. âOh. Your neckâs all red. I wonât judge, I swear. Min Yoongi is cool!â
Jimin half-sighs, half-groans, then falls sideways to bury his face into the mattress. âHeâs a childhood friend.â
âAw câmon, heâs not just your childhood friend. Heâs the Min Yoongi, keyboardist of Blue&Grey!â Jihyun claps back, before reeling back with a more sober expression.
âDidnât expect him to be a little quiet, though.â
âThatâs Yoongi-hyung for you.â /Never says a word, but always here to swoop in when people are in trouble./
Jimin turns his head to one side and lifts his phone to his face, only then remembering how Yoongi has probably replied.
Opening their Kakao chatbox, Jimin finds a new string of text messages waiting for him.
[dtownbeats]
this feels very familiar
do you remember what I told you back in high school?
what it means to want to be with someone foreverâŚ
going by that logic
to me, i guess family is
[dtownbeats]
someone you donât mind forever with
you get what i mean?
Jimin stares at the chat bubbles and lets out a whoosh of breath. Yoongiâs answer is good â profound, even â but Jimin himself canât figure out why heâs not fully aboard with it.
Not that he disagrees with Yoongiâs definition, but it feels like thereâs something missing.
[jimin of the park]
Hmm
forever sounds like a longass time keke
[dtownbeats]
okay well
let me rephrase
someone who makes forever worth it.
Jimins has to bite back a disbelieving scoff at. Forever, huh?
[jimin of the park]
that sounds so nice itâs almost fictional keke
it's such a narrow requirement for family
[dtownbeats]
Why?
You donât foresee spending forever with anyone?
Because forever is a commitment. Isnât Jimin a bit too young to start fantasizing or planning for something so⌠permanent? Wouldnât it be nicer, instead, to find a person or a place who makes every moment stretch to feel like forever?
[jimin of the park]
I suppose itâs a little scary to think about
like
imo forever belongs in the distant future
I donât know how to start thinking of that when Iâm still stuck figuring out the now, you get me?
Anyway how did we even get to this haha
If Jimin canât even afford the present, how is he expected to think of forever?
[dtownbeats]
thatâs fair
Whatâs family to you then?
Just curious too.
since I gave you my answer
Jimin gnaws on his upper lip, hanging his wet towel on a wall hook.
He glances up at his little brother then surveys the entirety of his room, eyes landing on the textbooks Aunt Miseon bought for him, the slippers Uncle Sejin helped him pick out at the flea market, at the white secondhand headphones Hoseok had gifted him a few days into his stay.
/Family, huh?/
âJihyunnie,â he says, scooting back so that heâs leaning against the headboard next to his younger brother. âWhat do you think of staying here so far?â
Jihyun turns to look at him. âI like it here.â
âYeah?â Jimin smiles. âWhy?â
Jihyun cranes his neck back, tapping his chin in the picture of thoughtful silence. He answers simply, âFood hereâs warm. Eomma doesnât cook that often.â
A fresh lump forms in Jiminâs throat.
He knows all too well that it must have been like for Jihyun to come home to cold leftovers or worse, an empty dining table despite having both parents around. When they were younger and their family had been intact +
+ their mother often cooked a variety of local dishes, from kimchi pajeon to ginseng chicken broth and Jiminâs favorite, kimchi jjigae. Days such as those were long gone, or so Jimin believed.
He reaches out to stroke the top of Jihyunâs hair. âMe, too.â
Sleep doesnât claim him as fast as it does his dongsaeng. While Jihyunâs breathing eventually steadies and evens out as soon as he tucks himself under the duvet, Jimin lies awake, eyes trained on the ceiling. He opes the last message he sent Yoongi.
[jimin of the park]
family is
Thatâs it; no other text succeeds the chat bubble, and they may very well be Jiminâs famous last words for the night. He tosses and turns, mind too active to succumb to slumberland.
In the end, he sneaks out of bed and heads downstairs. To his surprise, the kitchen light is on.
Squinting halfway down the stairs, Jimin makes out Aunt Miseonâs hunched form over the dining table, surrounded by sheafs of paper bills and other documents. She must be settling the householdâs monthly finances.
Jimin joins her, sitting on the opposite chair.
âCanât sleep?â
Aunt Miseon addresses him without looking up from the words sheâs scribbling.
Jimin nods with a soft affirmative hum, raising both legs onto the chair to hug them to his knees. âMy mind canât seem to shut up, imo-nim.â
âWhy? Your brotherâs safe with us now.â
Jimin shrugs.
âSo, what is it?â
Truth be told, he knows exactly whatâs bothering him, but to say it out loud takes a kind of courage that requires Jimin to acknowledge that deep down, he still craves motherly love â not just from any older female figure in his life, but his actual mother.
He drums his fingers lightly on his knees, gaze fixated on no particular thing. âI just- canât help but wonder. Why wonât she talk to us, imo-nim?â
At that, Aunt Miseon gives a pause, then sets down the pen in her hand. She shifts forward so that her full attention is on Jimin.
Aunt Miseonâs eyes are shadows, hooded under the warm light fixture hanging above the dining table. âI donât think itâs a matter of âwonâtâ, Jimin. More like she canât.â
Jimin sulks, waiting for her to continue.
âSheâs probably ashamed of her actions & doesnât know what to do.â
âBut I donât even hate her,â Jimin interjects wilfully, unable to wrap his mind around that. âAnd neither does Jihyun, I think. Itâs not like weâll cuss her out if she just asks to have a conversation over the phone.â
Aunt Misson lets out a soft exhale and clasps her hands.
âI think thatâs exactly why, darling,â says Aunt Miseon. âYouâre probably very hurt and disappointed, and it makes it hard. Iâm not defending your mother, but you see, facing disappointment is more difficult than facing outright hate, even moreso when theyâre your own children.â
Once upon a time, Jimin had concocted an entire, delusional lie to himself about Yoongi probably hating him and hence ghosting him. Heâd convinced himself of that because it was easier than having to face the possibility that HE had disappointed Yoongi by taking so long to write.
He clenches his hands into fists and blinks back the burn behind his eyes.
More than his loathing for the way their eomma has been behaving, Jimin hates that he can actually see where sheâs coming from, because understanding a person robs you of the energy to resent them.
Pressing the heels of his hands against his his eyes, Jimin says, âAll she has to do is apologize.â
âMy dear boy. Adults are worse than children when it comes to apologizing.â Aunt Miseon sighs and tips Jiminâs chin upwards. âLook at me, and listen very carefully.â
Jimin sniffles and nods, looking into his auntieâs eyes.
âYour motherâs shortcomings are a reflection of her, not you or whether you deserve love. More than blood, familyââAunt Miseon lets out a soft exhaleââmeans coming home to a place where you know youâll be safe and loved.â
Jiminâs lower lip wobbles. âImo-nim, can I tell you a secret?â
âSure, darling, what is it?â
âSometimes I wish I was your son.â
Aunt Miseonâs face twists. Jimin cringes at the flood of guilt that rises in him just as quickly as the words leave his mouth. Heâs horrified.
âNo, no, I meanââ His mind races to rearrange his words, articulate his thoughts more tactfully. âThat came out wrong. I mean, I wish my eomma was better to us. And I hope she treats our baby sister different.â
Aunt Miseon ducks her head and takes a long, deep inhale.
âAnd itâs not that Iâm saying Iâm jealous of Hoseokie hyung, because of course heâs your son,â oh no, Jimin is downright babbling now, âbut sometimes I watch us eat dinner and wonder, what me and Jihyun would have been like if weâd grown up like Hoseok-hyung did?â
âEvery family has its struggles, Jimin-ah,â Aunt Miseon answers, then tells him how, 5 years ago, the Cacao Crushers nearly closed down as a failing enterprise. How the Jung family had been the only workers since they couldnât afford to hire more. To help, Hoseok delivered milk.
âEveryone gets a taste of pain here on the earth,â Aunt Miseon says candidly, tapping her pen against the table. âItâs not something people can be exempt from. That doesnât make your pain and more or less valid, though. We are all just different shades of hurt.â
Jimin reels at that, tipping his head to one side thoughtfully. âI hate the self-pity that comes with it, though. I just wish Iâd stop going there.â
âYou can,â Aunt Miseon says with conviction. âKeep your eyes ahead instead of back. Instead of asking, âwhat ifââŚtry âwhat now?ââ
What now, indeed? Jimin rests his head against the pillow as he stares up into the general nothingness, brain spinning from his midnight talk with Aunt Miseon. He feels for his phone, and types a reply.
[jimin of the park]
family is a feeling
idk yet
but yeah
He musings carry over to the next day, following him into his shift at the cafĂŠ while his body shifts gears to autopilotâtake orders, prepare and serve, clear the tables. Jimin gets so lost in thought he doesnât realize his name is being called until he hearsâ
âSweetheart!â
Jiminâs gaze jerks up and lands on Taemin and Jihyun waving at him as they stand in in front of the cash register, waiting to order.
âAh.â Jimin straightens his back and smiles. âHi.â
Taeminâs eyes wander about the storeâs interior. âSo this is your workplace.â
Jimin nods distractedly. âWelcome to the life and times of Park Jimin.â
âCan we just take any seat?â asks Taemin, looking around the handful of free tables. He hooks a thumb at Table 7. âThe window seat looks good.â
âUm.â By reflex, Jimin glances at the door.
Yoongi hasnât been coming by to the Cacao Crushers latelyâaccording to Taehyung, the guyâs swamped with band rehearsals for the campus summer showcase this weekend. Still, some part of Jimin is apprehensive about simply letting the table⌠go, in case a certain someone drops by.
As if on cue, Taehyung swaggers past Jiminâs line of sight, waggling his eyebrows up and down, and Jimin sorely remembers his friendâs questionâwho would he give Table 7 to, if he had to pick?
Well, luckily there ISNâT much of a choice, since Yoongi isnât around.
âGo ahead.â
While Taemin goes to designate the table, Jihyun scans the menu and asks for recommendations. Jimin cites a few crowd favorites as well as a couple of seasonal specials. After the two of them pay for their drinks, Jimin watches them occupy Yoongiâs table.
Wait. Not /Yoongiâs./
âSo heâs the ex,â Taehyung muses, cropping up out of nowhere behind Jimin and making him jump in surprise. âHmm. Cute. But Hoseok-hyung is cuter.â
Jimin elbows him. âNobody was asking you to compare.â
Taehyung shrugs. âNot the sunâs fault everything dims in comparison to him.â
At that, the 2 of them pause, their gazes drawn exactly to where Hoseok is serving a tray of waffles to Table 3, all bright smiles and crinkly eyes. He might as well be emitting glitter, the way the customers sitting in the table tilt their heads back and return his dreamy smile.
Jimin nods. Taehyunf has exquisite taste; Hoseok is nothing but the cream of the crop in a landfill of men. Aside from Yoongi, that is. Well, and the rest of their tight-knit friend circle.
âIâm relieved Yoongi-hyung isnât here,â Jimin whispers to Taehyung. âNo need to choose.â
âJust say you miss him and go,â Taehyung says, pinching the left side of Jiminâs cheek before hurrying off to help clear a dirty table.
âI donât /miss/ him.â Jimin was just texting him last night and they literally spent yesterday together!
Just then, the entrance bell chimes.
From his periphery, Jimin spots a silhouette decked in all black, and his heart is already doing a micro flip when he turns to the doors with his best megawatt smile. âWelcome toâ oh, hey.â
âJimin-sssshi,â Jungkook greets, striding into the cafĂŠ in his chunky black boots.
ââSup,â Jimin waves, glancing behind Jungkook. âWhereâs Namjoon-hyung? Arenât you staying over at his place?â
âWe broke up.â Jungkook hops onto one of the high stools lined against the bar countertop, closest to the counter.
Jimin gawks. âHuh?!â
Since when were they together?
Jungkook just nods to himself as he casually ordersâ âDo you guys serve piĂąa colada?â
âGguk, youâre a minor.â
âVirgin then.â
Jimin rolls his eyes, brows drawn in confusion. âIâll get you a coconut smoothieâŚâ
Jungkook holds his hands up in surrender. âCanât have nice things.â
While Jimin prepares his drink, Jungkook dunks his head into his hands, ruffling his own hair, and occassionally beats a fists against the wooden countertop. âCohabitation, Jimin-sshi. Cohabitation. I thought we could make it through anything. But then the fire nation attacked.â
âDo I want to know?â
âYes, yes you do. Namjoon hyungâŚâ Jungkook sighs and leans forward to whisper in a grave tone, âtried to cook breakfast. Omellete, but there were eggshells in it. And he chops onions with the curved side down, flat side up. I was freaked.â
How frightful indeed. Jimin hums in allyship and solidarity as he slides Jungkookâs coconut smoothie across the countertop. âHeâs a walking hazard in the kitchen, Gguk. Do better.â
âSo I said to him, âI need to rethink our friendshipâ and he went, âIs this a breakup?ââ
Jungkook sighs and ruffles his bangs. âAnd I said, âI will reconsider if you give me your best Mangnanyong pullâ, and you know what he did? He took the omellete and said heâd just eat it himself.â
âFoul,â Jimin gasps. Jungkook nods gravely.
âI think itâs over now.â
Jimin clucks his tongue and pats Jungkookâs shoulder reassuringly. âIâll send him a tutorial for onion-cutting later. Stay strong.â
âThank you.â Jungkook slups his smoothie with a frown, which Jimin takes as a compliment, because he only makes that face when the food is good.
Just then, Taemin walks up to the counter, stopping just beside where Jungkook is seated by the high stools.
âHey sweetheart, can we get another dalgona coffee?â
Jungkook snorts and makes a squirting noise into his coconut slush. Gaping, he mouths at Jimin: /Sweetheart?/
Jimin shoots him a side-eyed warning look, then entertains Taeminâs requests within the same breath. Once Taemin walks back to Table 7, Jungkook narrows his eyes.
âSince when did you go by petnames?â
Jimin cringes, then whispers, âDude, heâs my ex.â
Jungkook gasps. âIn Perth?â
Jimin may or may not have mentioned casually seeing someone while he was in Australia. Then again, heâd kept a lot of secrets from everyone he loved during those toxic years. âIt was a casual thing. Weâre still cool after the breakup.â
âSo why does he still call you sweetheart?â
Jimin squirms and settles for a shrug. He doesnât really know how to explain that in his neighborhood, terms of endearment were commonplace, and that Jimin himself had taken time to get used to it. âHe just got used to it, I guess. Itâs no biggie. Anyway, howâs Busan?â
To his relief, Jungkook takes the swift topic change in stride. âStill the same. Oh, but the Kang family down the street moved to Ilsan. Hyemi-noona got engaged. The grandma from the grocerâs recently passed away. Hmmm, what else?â Jungkook taps his chin. âAh! And your appaâŚâ
Jiminâs ears perk up. He hasnât heard from his father in years. Curious as he may be about how heâs doing, Jimin never quite mustered the courage to reach out to a parent who had so willingly let him go.
âHe got a job in the sea port, so heâs away a lot,â says Jungkook. âAndâŚâ
âAnd what?â Jimin presses, brows knitting close together. A thought strikes him. âWhat about our old house? Is it still there?â
âAh, mm.â Jungkook nods, averting his gaze while fiddling with his straw. âIt has a pretty garden. Yellow flowerbeds and all. But, uh...â
Jimin frets.
Just then, Taehyung calls for his name to take some orders, so Jimin excuses himself to rush over to the cash register. Later, when he returns to Jungkookâs seat, he asks, âDoes appa still live in Busan?â
Jungkook gulps, eyes down. âHe remarried, hyung. After selling the house.â
Jimin canât say if he knows anyone who has ever felt dismay this intensely; a deep, gut-wrenching sensation pummeling at his insides and coiling around his chest. He swallows.
âI see.â He doesnât even know why his body is reacting to this information like itâs such a great loss.
Is it because his father got married and moved on with his new life without bothering to tell his kids?
Or is it because a secret part of Jimin still foolishly believed that as long as their old house still stood, then there was a chance that his family might come back together?
And now Jimin feels like an embarrassment, a blockhead who clung onto the mirage of an old house with no people to hold it together.
Because what makes a home if not the warmth of a family living in it? What makes a hearth light up if not for the fuel that holds the flame?
âSorry, hyung,â Jungkook pipes up quietly through his teeth biting his straw. âI didnât mean to hide it from you. But I just, I didnât know how to tell you.â
Jimin pushes down the brick in his throat and shrugs. âItâs- itâs whatever. That house crumbled long ago, anyway.â
He glances at Jihyun, talking animatedly with Taemin.
And then Hoseok is calling Jimin, asking for a helping hand with crowd control, so he has to set aside the grief curdling in his stomach like spoilt milk. He releases a long huff, rolls his shoulders back, and gets to work.
Tamping down his emotions gets easier the more he immerses himself in the routine of the work. Fortunately the summer crowd is endless, so Jimin gets to avoid having to entertain an idle mind. Feeling like a robot, he plasters a courteous smile on his face & excels at each chore.
Jungkookâbless his heartâplays a huge part in keeping Jiminâs spirits somewhat aloft by cracking jokes and showing him memes everytime he passes by the stool counter. Theyâre engrossed in playful bickering when the entrance bell chimes, and Namjoon walks in looking distraught.
âOh- hey hey hey,â Hoseok greets while cleaning up the table closest to the entrance. âThe usual?â
Namjoon gives him a distracted nod, eyes scanning the cafĂŠ until he zeroes in on where Jungkook is sitting. Then he marches forward, carrying a bulky dark grey binder in one arm.
He stops once heâs in front of Jungkook, chest rising and falling rapidly. He places the binder in front of Jungkook. âHere.â
Jungkookâs doe eyes widen as he flips the cover open to reveal a whopping collection of Pokemon stickers Namjoon has amassed over the years. âHyungâŚ?â
âGguk-ah,â Namjoom starts, voice cracking, âI know weâve been through tough times especially when we were both down on our weekly allowanceâoh, hi Jiminâbut I honestly want you to know how much I- I cherish and need your support.â
Jungkook stares.
âIn everything,â adds Namjoon.
As much as Jimin is having a hard time trying to fathom the whiplash and confusion from the scene in front of him, he canât help but smile at the way Jungkookâs eyes are turning glassy.
âI once said to you weâd go catch âem all,â says Namjoon. âBut now I want to catch you.â
A snort sounds from Jiminâs far right and he turns to frown & elbow Taehyung.
âSorry,â Taehyung snickers behind his mouth, eyes gleaming with glee.
âShut up. Let them have their moment,â Jimin whispers back.
And then Jungkook is leaping out of his seat and into Namjoonâs arms.
âGood for them, good for them,â Taehyung says, watching as Jungkook and Namjoon gather their stuff to leave the coffeeshop, hand-in-hand. He glances at Hoseok surreptitiously. âMe when?â
Jimin watches his friends leave, heart twisting with a mix of fondness, jealousy andâŚgrief.
Because as much as heâs elated with the way things are moving along for his friends, Jimin canât help but feel the way he did that night after their freshman orientation camp, when all of his schoolmates and were talking about their future ambitions.
Meanwhile heâs still⌠here.
He watches his two closest childhood friends walk out of the cafĂŠ, happy and glowing with love, and wonders if thatâs how his father walked out of their home.
Jimin turns away from the door.
He pauses when his eyes land on Jihyun. Shit. He should probably tell him soon, right?
But how? Looking at Jihyun right now, mouth smeared with chocolate cake and eyes bright with excitement everytime he looks around, Jimin doesnât know how to find it in him to break his brotherâs spirits about Seoul.
He hears the entrance bell chime once more, but doesnât look.
Instead, Jimin keeps his head down as he gathers dirty glasses from table to table, eyes downcast. The chatter around the cafĂŠ is loud, the buzz of the coffee machine defeaning, and the world keeps moving along while Jimin is still stranded in his own cold truth.
âMarigold.â
Itâs not even his name, but no other voice says that word like it has an owner; no other voice carries the quiet drawl that manages to effectively make other noises within Jiminâs vicinity fall to a hush.
He looks up from his tray, and into Yoongiâs eyes. His hairâs dishevelled.
Heâs wearing a light shirt over a white singlet paired with ripped jeans, and his hair is so tousled Jiminâs first thought isâ
/I want to tangle my hands in it./
But itâs the probing expression on Yoongiâs face that finally makes Jimin suck a shuddering breath. âWhatâs wrong?â
Jimin blinks, eyes darting about as his frown deepens. âNothing, um. What are you doing here? I thought you were at band practice.â
âI was.â Yoongi answers, eyes never leaving Jiminâs face. âBut Iâm here now. What happened?â
Jimin shakes his head & shrugs. âNothing, I swear.â
Yoongi sends him a pointed look as if to say, /Yeah, right./
No matter how much theyâve been closing the rift between them the last few weeks, Jimin internally squirms at the idea of letting Yoongi see him all vulnerable, especially when Jimin should be focused on working.
He scratches the back of his head and gestures with his hands. âWeâre closing soon. Coffeeâs closing.â
âOkay.â Yoongiâs gaze shifts to the rest of the cafĂŠ. âCan I get a flat white?â
âI told you, the coffee machineâs closing nowââ
âDecaf, then.â
Jimin stifles a groan. âFine.â
Without another word, Yoongi walks past him to make a beeline for his regular spot, only to stop in his tracks.
âAh,â Jimin says, belatedly realizing the matter at hand as his attention falls on Taemin & Jihyun still sitting at Table 7.
Yoongi turns around slowly, face pinched.
âUm,â Jimin stammers. âThey dropped by earlierââ
âHi, hyung,â Taehyung says as he passes them by while carrying a loaded tray. He pauses at the look on Yoongiâs face, follows his gaze, then blanches. âOh. Ohhh.â He shakes his head and faces Jimin. âTsk tsk. What now, loverboy?â
Jimin gnaws in his lower lip, watching Yoongiâs expression closely. Thatâs how he spots the exact moment uncertainty crosses Yoongiâs eyes and it dawns on Jiminâthose with social anxiety find comfort in routines, in having regular ways of doing things. This must suck for Yoongi.
Shit.
Acting on pure instinct, Jimin strides forward to drape an arm around Yoongi & steers him towards the high stool that Jungkook had vacated earlier on. âItâs okay, hyung. I got you. Just sit closer to us at the bar.â He can feel the tension in the sinews of Yoongiâs muscles.
Yoongi hobbles forward stiffly, sliding into the high stool. Meanwhile Jimin asks Taehyung to help him key in a last order for a decaf.
âDonât be mad,â Jimin says, leaning across the counter and craning his head to get a better look at Yoongiâs face.
âIâm alright,â Yoongi says.
But he wonât meet Jiminâs gaze.
Jiminâs frown only deepens. âI canât read your face, though. I donât know what youâre thinking. Are you really okay? Help me out a bit here.â
At that, Yoongi finally locks eyes with him, mouth pressing into a thin line. âLikewise, Jimin-ah.â
Jiminâs eyes blow wide, and he straightens up from where heâs leaning on the countertop.
He didnât realize.
Yoongi looks at him imploringly, gaze searching for words Jimin doesnât yet know how to form to describe the ache in his chest.
âOne decaf!â Hoseok chimes, all bubbly.
His interruption cracks the tension in the air, which Jimin welcomes as he steps back to let Hoseok serve the drink. Jimin looks around the cafĂŠ, the crowd beginning to thin out as the sun disappears below the skyline outside.
âIâll, um. Iâll do the closing prep,â he volunteers.
While preparing to clean out the display fridge, Jimin sneaks glances at Yoongi every once in a while, only to catch the guy doing the same thing. Each time their gazes collide, either one looks away quickly as though caught red-handed in a criminal act.
Jimin huffs to himself.
Frankly speaking, he feels stupid for constantly bottling up everything inside.
/Itâs a knee-jerk defense mechanism/, he reminds himself. Self-awareness has been slow to catch up to him, but he HAS been doing some reflection homework.
Itâs not like he always means to withdraw.
Which is why, even before the cafĂŠ team finishes closing up for the day, Jimin approaches Table 7 with a brief request for Jihyun to go ahead and return home without him. Jihyun agrees easily, citing his plans to stroll around the nearby night markets with Taemin anyway.
Next, once he finishes the last chore on his closing to-do list and bids Taehyung and Hoseok goodbye, Jimin stops in front of Yoongi, whoâs busy scribbling into a lyric notebook of some sort.
âIâm clocking out now,â Jimin says out loud.
Yoongi looks up from his notebook.
âAre you walking home?â
Jimin nods, slinging his messenger bag across his torso. âAnd you? Did you drive here?â If he remembers correctly, Yoongi often uses the car for band rehearsal equipment.
Yoongi pauses, blinking. âNo, I didnât.â
âIâll take a stroll,â Jimin hints.
âAh.â
Jimin scratches his neck, then gestures weakly to the general outdoors, shifting his weight from one foot to another. âIâm taking, like, a long detour.â
Yoongi turns his whole body to him, watching him closely now, 1 eyebrow twitching. âAnd?â
âItâll bring me to, uh, Han river.â
âAlone?â Yoongi prods.
Jimin bites the insides of his cheeks. âIf I have to.â
âOkay.â Yoongi gathers his belongings and hops off the high stool. âHave fun on your leisurely stroll, then. Good night.â
/Eeek./ Jimin shoots forward to grab a fistful of the hem of Yoongiâs shirt.
Yoongi halts mid-step, throwing him a casual glance over the shoulder. âOh? Whatâs up?â
Face flaming, Jimin dips his head and has to suppress the urge to curl his shoulders inward. Itâs so embarrassing to have to ask, but⌠he wants to.
âI donât wanna walk alone,â he ekes out.
At his words, Yoongiâs face softens. He turns around to nick the underside of Jiminâs chin. âAll you had to do was ask, doofus. Good job.â
Jimin screws his eyes shut, cringing at himself. His cheeks feel so hot! Still, he reaches out with his other hand to clutch Yoongiâs shirt.
They step out of the Cacao Crushers. Yoongi leads just a step ahead, hands in his pockets, while Jimin tags along behind, clinging to the back of his shirt and wishing he could un-redden his damn face.
(As they turn the corner, Yoongi shoves his car keys deeper into his pocket.)
The thing is, Jimin kind of sort of maybe lied.
âIâve been wanting to stroll by the river myself,â Yoongi starts, looking back over this shoulder at him.
Theyâre too far from the riverside to actually /walk/ their way there. Yoongi surely knows this, so why..?
Well, Jimin reasons with himself, it IS a pleasant summer night, one of the cooler ones that provide reprieve from a sweaty day. Yoongi must want to bask in the weather, too.
âCool,â Jimin says. âActually, I donât mind just wandering.â
âThen letâs go where the summer takes us.â
Jiminâs eyebrows arch in surprise, and he steals another glance at Yoongi. How is he so laid-back, walking with his hands in his pockets like that? Jimin wishes he had half of Yoongiâs composure sometimes. âWah, that almost sounded cool, hyung.â
âAlmost?â Yoongi tests.
Jimin grins. âTry harder. Then weâll see.â
Yoongi slows down and glances back at him again. âWhy do you keep tagging behind, anyway?â His reaches out to uncurl Jiminâs fingers from the back of his shirt, and gently tugs him along so that theyâre side by side. âWalk properly.â
âFine.â Jimin looks down at Yoongiâs slouched, hands-in-his-pockets gait, and promptly mimics it as they resume their pace. Every now and then, their shoulders would brush, and itâs like denying static, the way Jimin has to keep from startling each time Yoongi gets this close.
They end up circling Jiminâs neighborhood, making rounds until they reach a steep incline of road overlooking the rest of the sprawling district below.
Itâs a tangle of alleys dotted with dim lamp posts, but even in the dark Jimin looks to Yoongiâs face in search of brightness.
âYou havenât been coming by the cafĂŠ lately,â Jimin says in his best nonchalant voice. Itâs an objective take, after all. Just a passing comment.
Yoongiâs gaze veers sharply to his, a gleam in his eyes. âDidnât know youâd miss me this quickly.â
Jimin scoffs. âI just /noticed/.â
Yoongi ducks his head and smiles to himself, leaning both forearms over the road fence. Heâs quiet for a moment, gaze lost in the neighborhood below them. Jimin jumps at the chance to explain himself.
âI mean, I know youâre busy rehearsing for the showcase, soââ
âCome watch.â
Jiminâs brain shuts off mid-sentence, because Yoongi chooses that moment to tip his head back and train his burnished gaze on Jimin, and in those eyes thereâs not a trace of amusement. Just⌠an earnest honesty.
His hair falls into his eyes. It gets a little tougher to breathe.
Thereâs also the embarrassing urge to stretch out his fingers & rake them across Yoongiâs floofy hair. Itâs the stupidest thing, the way Jimin feels yanked back to being his old high school self, fumbling and stumbling under Yoongiâs scrutiny.
Even worse, is that Jimin gives in.
His inner self watches, mortified, as his hands bridge the distance between them to flick at a non-existent piece of lint on Yoongiâs hair. Jimin clears his throat & tries to stay true to the topic. âItâs public. I wouldâve gone to watch with the others even without you asking.â
Hands, hands, oh the horrors of what theyâre capable of. Against his better will, Jiminâs fingers card Yoongiâs hair back in soft, soothing strokes, making his hyungâs eyes flutter closed. âYour mullet may be gone, but your hairâs still kinda long.â
âIs that a bad thing?â
âNo.â
Yoongi turns sideways to face him and swiftly makes a grab for Jiminâs wrist. âSo.â
Jimin pauses. âWhatâs wrong?â He eyes Yoongiâs hair with a frown. âWant me to stroke you differently? Or stop?â
âDonât stop. Hands on the head, please.â Yoongiâs eyes glint.
Jimin cracks up.
He smacks Yoongiâs chest lightly. âYou are so unserious. Seriously? At your big age?â
âHey. Dick jokes are immortal.â Once the words leave his mouth, Yoongiâs smile drops as his left hand comes up to trap Jiminâs hand to his chest. âJiminie.â
âWhat?â
âAre you okay?â
Jimin drops his gaze to his hand, still pressed against Yoongiâs chest, encased in Yoongiâs warmer one. âWhat do you mean?â
âEarlier,â replies Yoongi, inching closer and lowering voice. âYou looked so out of it. Did something happen?â
Technically, Jimin could lie again.
But itâs so hard keeping everything bottled in, and Yoongi is someone he has never been skilled at lying to. Jiminâs mouth tugs into a frown. âItâs a stupid reason. I shouldnât even be this affected.â
âWhy?â Yoongj coaxes.
âOur appa remarried,â Jimin grits out.
As the words slip out, Yoongiâs eyes widen, but his gaze remains unwavering, silently urging Jimin to continue.
Itâs all the encouragment he needs. Jimin takes a deep breath and shuffles towards a nearby wooden bench that faces the city skyline. âAnd I just found out today.â
Yoongi joins him on the bench, keeping a careful footâs distance, as if afraid Jimin might shatter if he strays too close. âHe didnât say anything to you?â
Jimin shakes his head, looking down to find that his fingers are tightened into shaking fists on top of his knees.
âAh.â
Jimin frowns at his knees, head ducked. âHow do people do that, hyung? Move on so easily? When I canât evenââ
/Let go of the family I used to have. Forget about you./
Heâs taken aback when his vision suddenly tilts as Yoongi gently pulls his head and presses it to close to him.
âLet it out, Jimin-ah. Itâs okay. Hyung will listen.â
Jimin sniffles into Yoongiâs collarbone, his head positioned at an odd angle, but welcomes the little warmth and privacy that Yoongiâs shirt offers. His hyung is like a shield. Always has been.
A new wave of affection swells in his chest, coiling around his throat so tightly he almost chokes up. Itâs almost distracting, the deep yearning. How he wishes for three things at that momentâfor peace, for contentment, and for Yoongi to hold him in some romantic regard, too.
What was it that Chrysanthemum once said about his good friend? About having love for him?
/I am in the state of loving./
It makes sense for Jimin to think of it this way now too, as he comes to see Yoongi not just as a mild crush, but with a deep-rooted unshakeable fondness.
But Jimin doesnât come equipped with the words to express something so profound just yet. Instead he lets out a long, shuddering exhale and scoots closer to bury his face into Yoongiâs shirt. Honesty is hard, but Yoongi makes it seem less daunting.
âTruth is, Iâm resentful.â
âMmm.â Jimin feels rather than sees Yoongi nodding.
âAnd things suck. Been shitty for the past few years,â Jimin continues. âBut I donât want to dump my load on anyone else, especially on you, because you deserve better than seeing me at rock-bottom. Friends arenât therapists.â
Yoongi lets out a bemused hum and pulls back to look Jimin in the eye. âTelling us about your problems doesnât mean youâre obliging us to do anything for you. You could think of it this wayâyouâre simply informing your trusted friends about something theyâre curious about.â
âBut I donât want to be a wet blanket, you know,â Jimin protests weakly. âItâs inconsiderate, socially speaking.â
âYouâll be even more of a wet blanket if you continue looking so miserable without giving worried friends a chance to understand you. Isnât that more inconsiderate?â
Jimin purses his lips, then pulls up both knees on the bench to hug them close to his chest.The city beats with a pulsating tangle of alleys like veins.
âAfter the divorce and moving to Perth, our eomma remarried a lawyer,â Jimin says slowly.
Heâs never told the full story to anyone, not even Chrys, with whom heâd kept their correspondence vague enough because at the end of the day, Jimin still hasnât felt safe enough with anyone but Yoongi.
âLike our dad, she moved on with her life. Adjusted to Australia smoothly.â
Jimin realizes his voice and fingers are shaking at the same time that Yoongiâs fingers slide over the park bench, looping his pinky finger on top of Jiminâs.
Itâs solid. Itâs Yoongiâs touch, holding him to the ground.
âWhen she got pregnant with our sister, we faded away.â
Yoongi makes a startled noise. âYou have a baby sister now?â
Jimin nods. âI donât want to be bitter, but between eommaâs fixation with her new life and finding out appa is doing the same, I couldnât help but wonderâwhere does that leave Jihyun and me?â
/Do I belong anywhere?/
âDuring the time eomma was too busy to even help my brother and I buy school supplies and textbooks, we went on our own, I paid using my savings. And then eomma realized I could do things independently and started expecting the same of me ever since then. I was happy to oblige.â
Yoongi nods, squinting slightly. âBut thenâŚ?â
âBut then it got exhausting,â Jimin confesses, closing his his eyes with a sigh. âI worked part time jobs to keep up. I wasnât the best person, studying and working to the bone by day and partying to escape reality each night.â
Jimin rubs a hand over his face. âI know it sounds like a typical college life, but when thereâs no home or family to fall back on, I feel pointless andâ Iâm justâŚâ Deadened inside. âIâm so tired, hyung. Iâve been working so hard Iâm soââJimin blinks back tearsââfucking tired.â
Yoongi right hand rubs circles into Jiminâs back, while he hums in his deep, baritone growl. âThen be tired. Just be.â
âWhat place in Seoul allows anyone to just be?â Jimin scoffs.
As if to answer, Yoongi pulls Jiminâs head closer to his shoulder, /With me./
Itâs almost funny, how even though for weeks on end, Jimin has been doubting whether the Yoongi he used to knowâhis Yoongiâis still somewhere inside this man next to him, all it takes is a gesture.
And suddenly Jimin is back to his high school self, aching for Yoongiâs safety.
âYouâre good,â Jimin murmurs, leaning his head sideways against Yoongiâs shoulder. The movement closes the gap between their thighs, and Jimin can imagine the warmth of Yoongiâs skin seeping through his jeans. âStill so good to people.â
Their free hands lay limp on their knees.
Yoongi makes a noncommittal hum, while Jimin trains his gaze on the inches of space separating their hands from each other. If he could just reach overâ
âNot all people.â
Jimin blinks, breath stuttering. Yoongiâs words are firm, steady.
He canât bring himself to meet his gaze.
âOh?â Jimin says testily. If it means what it meansâŚ
âYeah. Iâm selective about my- friends.â Yoongi clears his throat, eyes fixated on the hands on top of his knees.
/Can you hear my heart?/ Jimin desperately wants to ask, fearful of shattering this bubble of hope, of whimsy.
He glances down at their hands again, and in a surge of sudden boldness, lets his hand dart out to rest on top of Yoongiâs. At his touch, Yoongi tenses, then relaxes, melting against Jiminâs side.
/I missed this/, Jimin thinks to himself. âThank you. I know Iâm difficult.â
Yoongi is quiet for a long moment, absently stroking a thumb over the soft flesh between Jiminâs thumb & forefinger.
Jimin can only stare at the crisscrossing scars over Yoongiâs knuckles, heart heaving. âYâknow, I often think about how I mightâve suffered less if I never left.â
Yoongi lets out a quiet breath.
âSuffering isnât optional, I think.â
Jimin frowns and lifts his head. âAre you saying I deservedââ
âNo.â Yoongi shakes his head vigorously. âNot in that way. Itâs like⌠I think we as people are allocated our own share of pain so we can grow.â
âThatâs a sucky fact if I ever heard one,â Jimin comments disdainfully.
âWe all suffer,â Yoongi says with a shrug, then turns to hold Jiminâs gaze. âBut thereâs no need to do it alone.â
Jimim holds his breath, and manages a small, rueful smile. Thatâs right. Heâs been lonely.
Walking a lonesome path trying to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders, wishing he could stop by someplace to breathe. But with Yoongi itâs as easy as breathing, his wisdom deep & sturdy as a deep-rooted tree.
/Stay by my side,/ Jimin finds himself wishing. /Like this./
âYouâŚâ Jimin breaks their gaze & shakes his head to himself with a chuckle.
Yoongi nudges him with an elbow. âWhat? Whatâs so funny?â
âItâs not funny, itâs justâIâm amazed at what psychology majors can do, I suppose,â says Jimin. âThe way I see it, youâre a bit of everything.â
âSteady as an oak,â Jimin holds up a finger for every point he makes. âDeep as an ocean. But also soft-heartedâlike a dandelion. Thereâs a little bit of you in everything the eye can see in nature, hyung.â
Yoongi lets out a shallow, shuddering breath, hand squeezing Jiminâs.
âYou canât just say that,â Yoongi says. âThatâs unfair.â
Jimin snorts, wrinking his nose. âWhat, what? How so?â
âItâs flattery.â
âItâs honesty.â Jimin angles himself so that heâs facing Yoongi more. âItâs called a compliment. Give me one, too.â
Yoongi gives him an eyeroll.
âWell?â Jimin holds out an open palm. âMake it even, then.â
To his surprise, Yoongi catches his hand mid-air and tugs him closer, so that Jimin is leaning towards him even more than before. Up close, he can make out the sparkle of city lights, reflected in Yoongiâs pupils.
âYouâre doing great,â Yoongi murmurs, his free hand coming up to gently stroke the back of Jiminâs head. Jimin sucks in a breath, tasting the prickling air. âYou work hard. Watching you gives me motivation to⌠to keep going, too.â
The back of Jiminâs eyes feel hot.
Yoongi moves closer so that his lips are directly brushing the shell of Jiminâs ear, making the hairs on his arms rise. âThank you for not giving up.â
Then he turns, pressing his mouth to Jiminâs left temple for a long, quiet moment, and murmurs, âThank you for coming back.â
Jiminâs lungs feel useless; his heart swells with such a heavy mix of relief, gratitude and affection so fierce heâs afraid his ribcage might crack under its weight. Curling a trembling fist over Yoongiâs shoulder, he locks eyes with Yoongi, and realizes theyâre as misty as his.
He didnât even know he needed to hear those words until Yoongi said them. Jimin has never been /thanked/ for simply trying, because they live in such a society that rewards excellence, not effort. Acknowledgment like thisâit feels like being seen, naked and vulnerable.
Then Yoongi breaks their gaze momentarily to dig into his pocket, letting out a wry chuckle when he manages to fumble for a 500-won coin. He plants it in the center of Jiminâs palm. âHere.â
Jimin frowns. âHuh?â
âDue diligence.â Eyes lit by the city of Seoul, Yoongi leans in.
But they barely brush lips when Jiminâs phone blares out of the blue, making him jump out of Yoongiâs proximity and practically topple off the park bench.
Clearing his throat & flushing furiously, Jimin answers the call with checking the caller ID. âHello?â
âHyung!â
âJihyun?â
âHyung are you coming home yet?â Jihyun gushes. âTaemin hyung came by to visit us!â
âTaemin?â Jimin slowly gets up to perch back on tbe bench, shoulders stiff, averting his gaze from Yoongiâs the entire time. âWhy?â
âAunt Miseon told Hoseok-hyung to invite him over for dinner.â
âOh, um.â Jimin fans his neck, feeling uncharacteristically hot despite the cooling evening summer breeze. âIâll- I guess Iâll be there ASAP, then.â
âOkay. Aunt Miseon cooked chicken stew.â
âThatâs awesome,â Jimin breathes into his phone, unable to glance Yoongiâs way.
âCome quick. See you!â Without waiting for Jiminâs answer, his brother drops the call, and the line goes dead.
Jimin nibbles on his upper lip, lowering the phone from his ear.
What justâ no, what /almost/ happened? Did he really imagine that Yoongi would k.. k⌠kiss him?!
Jimin ducks his head, flames spanning across his cheeks. He stands. âI should get going.â
âIâll send you back,â Yoongi volunteers, standing up as well.
Jimin releases a forced laugh, giving him a once-over. âYou & what car?â
âAh.â Yoongi stiffens. âI mean, Iâll walk you home.â
Jimin nods mutely and spins around to trudge the path back to the Jung residence, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He tries to ignore the raging heat flooding his cheeks, and forces his gaze to his shoes.
Heâd been wondering, really, if kissing Yoongi now would feel the same.
He canât deny that this time round, instead of a hurried, desperate peck, heâd anticipated it. What does it mean that Jimin wanted to feel those lips again? As much as he wants to chalk it all up to curiosity, itâs hard to ignore that he /wanted/ it.
After all this time.
Which is why itâs a lot harder to look at Yoongiâs face now, after that awkward moment. Thank heavens for Jihyunâs interruption.
âJimin-ah,â Yoongi says, catching up to his pace beside him.
Jimin licks his lower lip. âHmm?â
A hesitant pause.
âCome to the show.â
This time, Jimin tilts his head and forgets his embarrassment enough to frown at Yoongi. âWhat show?â
âThe campus summer showcase,â Yoongi says, keeping his hands in his own jeans pockets too. âThe bandâs performing. Come watch, if youâre up for it.â
âAh.â Jiminâs face clears.
âHyung, Iâm already coming to watch even if you didnât ask me to. Tae and I made plans to go.â
âStill,â Yoongi sniffs, the tips of his ears flushed, âconsider this an official invite from a member himself. Arenât you honored?â
Jimin side-eyes him. âSoooo honored.â
Yoongiâs face breaks out into one of his rare gummy smiles as he ducks his head and rubs his nose. âGreat. See you, then.â
Just like that, the tension seems to dissolve into the summer breeze, making it easier to chat again. They gloss over school and summer plans.
Which is how Jimin discovers thatâ
âHyung and I are going back to our hometown for a bit,â Yoongi says. âNot sure when, though.â
âOh.â Jimin doesnât know what to think of that. He kind of assumed everyone would stay in Seoul. âFor how long?â
âA week, maybe two.â
âAww.â
âWhy?â Yoongiâs eyes dance with a teasing glint. âGonna miss me?â
Jimin clucks his tongue and makes a big show of folding his arms in disappointment. âThat means you canât come to the cafĂŠ, and weâd lose business. Thatâs a big problem right there.â
âGlad to know Iâm an ATM.â
Jimin giggles and nudges him. âBest to let you know from the start that our friendship hinges on your Audi.â
Yoongi chuckles and walks closer to bump his shoulder lightly. âLittle shit.â
âYou seriously need to come up with better insults,â Jimin says. âTime to get creative!â
Yoongi jabs him at the ribs, triggering his funny bone and making him squirm away.
âThatâs foul!â Jimin takes off into a jog and Yoongi takes off after him, their sneakered footsteps loud against the pavement. Jimin laughs his worries away into the wind that nips at his face.
Once he turns into their homeâs street, Jimin slows down and turns, waiting for Yoongi to come into view.
âSo much for walking me back,â Jimin says when Yoongi finally appears, huffing with red cheeks. He looks so alive, framed against the warm glow of the lamp post behind him.
Jimin can hear his own pulse, pounding erratically in his ears, and canât tell if itâs from the running or something else entirely. All he knows is this moment, watching his hyung walking towards him with an unfamiliar expression, as if Jimin is something soft to protect.
Itâs nice to be looked at so earnestly, to be beheld and given attention as if he deserves it. The tired knot in Jiminâs chest loosens with every step Yoongi takes.
So he meets him halfway. Jimin steps within Yoongiâs proximity, pausing only to bring his forehead to his. âBoop.â
He closes his eyes and carefully breathes in Yoongiâs warmth and presence, standing still. Yoongi huffs, but doesnât back away, much to Jiminâs relief. Their foreheads stay connected.
âWhat are you doing?â Yoongiâs drawl rumbles against Jiminâs skin, raising goosebumps.
Jimin has no idea, having only succumbed to the intense need to be close and closer still to Yoongi. So he answers, âJust, vibing.â
Yoongi huffs in amusement, nicking his chin. âHowâs the vibe, then?â
âPretty neat,â Jimin replies, eyes still shut. âWarm. Safe. I like safe.â
Yoongi hums, one hand coming up to support the small of Jiminâs back. At some point in time Jimin realizes theyâve started swaying ever so slightly, just two boys under the solitude of a lamp post at night.
âJiminie.â
âMm?â
âYou might not like what Iâm about to sayâŚâ
Jiminâs eyes begin to flutter open, but before he can pull back to look Yoongi somberly in the eye, Yoongi tugs him closer using the same hand on the small of his back. Jimin stumbles forward and ends up with his chin on Yoongiâs left shoulder.
âWhat is it, hyung?â
Yoongiâs other hand comes up to cradle the back of Jiminâs hand, coaxing. Then, he murmurs into the shell of Jiminâs earâ
âSafe is good. But so are risks. If it doesnât challenge you, you donât get to test your limits. Comfort zones are good, but real growth starts beyond it.â
Jiminâs lower lip trembles, chest swelling with an inexplicable warmth as he pulls back to pout at Yoongi. âWhy the sudden wisdom?â
Yoongi shrugs and steps back, releasing Jimin from his grasp. âI just wanted to tell you.â He tucks a stray now-brownish strand behind Jiminâs ear.
Risks, huh?
/Letâs put it to practice, then./
âSo that day at the cafĂŠ,â Jimin says in a shaky rasp, trying to steady his heartbeat. âDid you mean it when you described the kiss at the bus stop as a meaningless, adoloscent thing?â
Yoongiâs eyes widen.
/Heâs going to feign ignorance/, thinks Jimin, growing anxious. /Or heâll just laugh at the ridiculous question./
Yoongi does neither. Rather, his gaze turns thoughtful and he says, âWell, letâs see for ourselves, shall we?â
Then he leans forward to press their mouths together.
Jimin gasps against his mouth, soft and searching, and only has enougn time for his eyes to start fluttering closed before Yoongi pulls back and holds him by the forearms.
âHow was that? Feel anything?â
Light-headed. Pleasantly thrilled. But most of all, Jimin is terrified.
Because as much as heâs been yearning for it, wanting to kiss Yoongi, thereâs a fear knotted in his gut that if Jimin gives in, heâs at risk of losing Yoongi all over again.
He canât afford to do that, not when theyâre only starting to mend things between them.
Which is why, rather than giving a straightforward answer, Jimin decides to play coy.
He puts on a shaky grin, flexing his fingers as he lets go of the clutch he has on the front of Yoongiâs shirt & slowly returns his arms to his sides. âI dunno hyung, maybe try again tomorrow?â
Yoongi blinks in surprise, a clear question in his eyes, but after several moments his expression morphs to understanding & he ducks his head, cheeks pinking. âO-oh? Tomorrow, huh.â
Jimin gnaws on his bottom lip, trying to calm his racing pulse, or not burst into a dance. âMmm.â
Scuffing the toes of his sneakers into the asphalt pavement, Yoongi nods, gaze down. His ears are scarlet. âI see, I see.â
âYep, I- um, Iâm not opposed to the idea of k-kissâŚâ Jimin covers his mouth as he stutters, then clears his throat. âThat time at the bus stop was a test.â
Yoongiâs gaze lifts to meet his. âA test?â
âYeah like a- a trial and error thing,â Jimin elaborates, wondering why his voice sounds so suddenly high-pitched and squeaky in his throat.
âAnd the results were?â
âInconclusive.â
Yoongi nods. âIn psych, itâs normal to keep trying.â
Jiminâs neck feels damp, hands clammy, and only then does he realize heâs sweating despite the breeze. He pulls up the collar of his cafĂŠ polo tee uniform in a proxy attempt to maybe bury himself, since he canât just dig a hole in the ground right now. How is Yoongi so calm?
âThen in that case,â Yoongi drawls, rubbing the back of his ears, âIâll see you tomorrow, then.â
It sounds less like a goodbye greeting and more like a promise, and Jimin would be lying if he said those words didnât send a zing sparking down his spine. He smiles toothily.
Jimin feels teary for some reason. He feels like heâs a wooden house thatâs just gotten a massive axe dislodged from its walls after a long time, letting in the first rush air he didnât know heâd been craving.
Gently twisting side to side, Jimin says coyly, âSee you tomorrow.â
âHYUUUNG!â Jihyunâs voice echoes from a few blocks down the street, where heâs waving from inside the Jungsâ gate. âFinally! Quick, dinner is getting cold!â
And suddenly, Jimin remembers that thereâs a world around them; that this moment is more than just him and Yoongiâs smile.
Yoongi steps forward and gives him a little nudge by the elbow. âGo on.â
Jiminâs mouth perks into a tiny, reluctant pout, but he starts backing away to their home anyway, all while still facing Yoongi. âText me when youâre home?â
Yoongi nods and waves.
âGoodnight?â
âNight.â
âYouâre coming to the cafĂŠ tomorrow?â Jimin asks hopefully.
At this, one side of Yoongiâs mouth tips upwards. âOnly if you donât give my table away to othersâŚâ
Jimin gasps in mock affront, grinning. âTaemin and Jihyun got there first today!â
Yoongi wrinkles his nose.
Cute.
Jiminâs fingers curl into fist in his pockets as he suppresses the urge to croon. âWhatever. Iâll see what I can do. Thanks for the walk.â
Yoongi tillts his head sideways, eyes soft. âAnytime.â
Jimin reaches the gate and finally turns around to step inside, humming to himself.
Outside, Yoongi stands still, waiting until the gate finally bolts shut, before he spins on his heels and explodes into a happy little tap dance, arms waving about like jelly.
(That is, until he realizes he has to trudge the same uphill-downhill trail back to the parking lot.)
hello my loves thank you so much for being patient with me thus far!
Weâre now in the final arc of DMF
If you like my writing and would like to support my expenses in Seoul (itâs pricey here ă ă ), drop me a cappucino maybe?
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Dinner is a mild and pleasant affair, with Jimin being in good spirits and Jihyun in a talkative mood. Taemin makes a stellar guest, charming the family with his respectful remarks and adorable smile. At some point Jimin zones out and imagines itâs Yoongi at the table with them.
Not that Yoongi would have any such reason to be invited over to Jiminâs house, except maybe that one time Jimin was sick, but stillâthat had been a valid reason.
Afterwards, while Jimin helps to brew some tea that his aunt really loves, Taemin joins him in the kitchen.
âHey,â he greets, leaning against the kitchen counter a few feet from Jimin. âNeed help?â
Jimin smiles. âItâs alright. I got it.â
âSo,â Taemin whistles. âYou and Min Yoongi of Blue&Grey, huh? Jihyun would be thrilled.â
Jimin pauses & tilts his head. âHuh?â
âYou guys a thing?â
Jimin almost chokes on his own spit. âWe- weâre not boyfriends.â
Taemin grins. âAnd non-boyfriends walk each other home?â
âFriends do that too!â
âFriends donât look at each other like that,â muses Taemin.
Jimin averts his gaze, cheeks aflame. âYou saw us outside?â
âHmm, kinda?â Taemin shifts his weight and folds his arms. âI stepped out to check if you were on the way home and saw you guys jogging down the steep hill.â
Jimin gives a throaty chuckle. Seems like Taemin didnât see them kiss, thank heavens. Jimin wouldâve felt self-conscious.
âWait, so if youâre not together, then what are you?â Taemin asks.
âYouâre surprisingly curious about him,â Jimin points out, glancing askance. âDonât tell me youâre jealous?â
Taemin shakes his head, then sighs. âNot quite? Itâs a mix of happy for you and envious, really.â
Jimin snorts. âNothing to be envious about, come on.â
âHe makes you smile like that, all childlike,â Taemin says quietly, wistfully, like heâs speaking from memory rather than relaying a moment. âI could never.â
Jimin stiffens, heart sinking with a crushing guilt and sadness.
âHyung,â he says, making sure to let the teabag steep in the teapot before stepping away from the kitchen counter and standing directly in front of Taemin. âLetâs not go there, itâs different.â
âI know, I justâŚâ Taemin shrugs. âI wonder if I could have tried a little harder.â
Jimin shushes him and rests a reassuring hand on his arm. âYou did everything right. Donât say that. You taught me a lot and I was really grateful for you, still am.â
Taemin smiles at him ruefully, eyes reading Jiminâs face. âYouâre happier here.â
A statement.
âYeah. I am.â
Jimin steps in to give Taemin a quick squeeze. âKeyword being happier. You made Perth bearable. Because of you, I could be happy there.â
Taemin chuckles and hugs him back. âBesides accompanying Jihyun, I came here to check in on you too. Iâm glad youâre finding peace here.â
âWhy do you have to phrase this like some kind of final farewell,â Jimin mutters, stepping back.
âI mean, Iâm leaving tomorrow, so.â
Jimin gasps, stomach sinking. For years, Taemin had been a source of strength and real friendship. To not care about him would be impossible.
âI thought youâd spend a week in Seoul?!â
Taemin makes a sour face. âI just got a business call from my supervisor yesterday who asked if I could cut my leave two days short because of an emergency at the company.â
âThat sucks.â
âItâs fine. Thereâs nothing much else to do.â
Despite his high spirits moments ago, Jimin is surprised to find himself randomly tearing up and launching himself into Taeminâs arms. He doesnât know why, but something about this moment feels so⌠absolute. Final.
âI do love you,â Jimin says.
âI know. Just not in that way.â
Which is why itâs so easy for Jimin to throw the words out loud, and they both know it. Jimin steps back, sniffling.
âKeep in touch?â
âOf course.â Taehyung ruffles Jiminâs hair and chuckles. âTake care, Jimin. If you ever visit Australia and need a place to stay, just ping me.â
[A/N: *taemin oops i guess i was too drowsy last night] ^
[Sprout]
dear my friend,
i spoke with en ex today. it felt like closure, for real, for good. i donât know how to feel. thereâs a lightness but also⌠a kind of sadness? is this normal?
[chrys]
of course it is.
closure is still loss
even with resolution, loss involves grief
Jimin rolls to his side, tucking one hand under his pillow while reading the message reply.
[Sprout]
makes sense
thank you, once again
talking through my feelings really helps me process it. idk how youâre an expert at it
you must be such a great communicator
[chrys]
ahahaha.
[chrys]
youâd be surprised at how terrible i can be with expressing myself, letâs not jump to conclusions
anyway, i think self-awareness is the first step to betterment
[Sprout]
being honest with myself is hard
[chrys]
sure is
whatâs one thing you were honest about today
Jimin purses his lips, staring at the last message from Chrysanthemum. Itâs not easy to discern what he feels since heâs used to repressing his emotions. But guidance from his counselor is particularly helpful in helping him concludeâ
[Sprout]
i just stopped lying
or pretending
[chrys]
About?
Jimin hesitates. As much as he wants to pour his heart out to his counselor, heâd like to take things slowly, vaguely.
[Sprout]
myself
about having a hard time
& that itâs scary
but not trying is scarier
also about⌠wanting things that i never thought iâd get
[chrys]
Hey, thatâs realt good progress!
Iâm proud of you.
It takes a lot to be honest with oneself
[Sprout]
yeah?
well whatâs something YOU were honest about today?
[chrys]
well
letâs just day i finally took a leap of faith
and did something iâve been wanting to for ages
[Sprout]
[chrys]
itâs a secret
just a personal milestone
no biggie
makes me happy though. real happy
[Sprout]
aww. thatâs cool
congrats man
[chrys]
thanks
be right back, i forgot something important
Jimin sends an âOKâ, humming to himself. Must be an errand.
He rolls to the other side of his bed, scrolling through his past conversations with Chrysanthemum, feeling light and warm. Just then, his phone rings.
It shows Yoongiâs KakaoTalk ID. Jimin pulse skitters, but he answers without hesitation. âHello?â
Silence. Then, âJiminie?â
Since heâs lying in the dark, Jimin doesnât bother fighting back the smile blooming on his face. âHi, mindeulle.â
Yoongiâs answering chuckle is amused and breathy, bus voice mellow. âThat nicknameâŚâ
âHee.â Jimin rolls to the other side of his bed, careful not to jostle Jihyun.
Deciding heâd rather not risk waking his brother, Jimin slips out of bed and soundlessly tiptoes out of the room to sit at the top landing of the staircase. âIâm surprised youâre calling me.â
âReally? Why?â
Jimin shrugs. âRemember the first time we called and you hung up?â
Yoongiâs half-snort, half embarrassed chortle sends a pleasant warmth coursing through Jiminâs veins.
âThat was years ago. It was my anxiety talking.â
âThatâs what Iâm saying,â Jimin says. âLook at you go, unfazed by phone calls now. Good job!â
âSmall wins. Much thanks.â
Jimin grins, leaning against the staircase barricade. âSo? Whatâs up? We just saw each other.â
âJustâŚâ Yongi clears his throat.
âHmm?â
âJustwantedtosaygoodnight,â comes Yoongiâs rushed response, and Jimin can pictute hin flushed while gritting the words out. âAnd your voice.â
Jiminâs heart does a triple flip as he pushes back the urge to squeal. He wrings the hem of his pyjama shirt in his hands as he composes his voice and prompts, âHmm? My voice?â
âYeah. Okay so, good night,â Yoongi says, voice going hoarse. âIâm kind of nervous doing this.â
âReally? Why?â
âI just, I just am.â Yoongi gives a small, incoherent sound. âMaybe I sound stupid. Or lame.â
Jimin canât help it. He lets out a tiny, âAwww. Donât be. You can count on me not thinking that about you. On the contrary, you sound really sweet and sleep-soft.â
Yoongi lets out a small huff that makes Jimin want to giggle and lean in, even though theyâre on the phone. âSleep-softâŚâ
âYeah? You got a problem with it?â Jimin challenges, smiling.
âYou used to call me cool.â Yoongi clears his throat. âIâm a manly man.â
Jimin cracks up.
âWhat the heck is a man, anyway?â Jimin says as he curls up on the staircase landing, drawing little circles on his knees. âJust be yourself. The Min Yoongi I know.â
âAh, see. Now Iâm curious,â Yoongi drawls, his voice sounding more alert. âHow /is/ this Min Yoongi you know?â
âYouâre fishing for compliments.â
âIâm on a path to self-discovery.â
âYou flatter yourself.â
âI just want to make sure,â Yoongi breathes, pausing as if hesitating, âthat you really donât hate me even after everything.â
Jiminâs smile drops. His heart wrings itself dry.
âHyung,â he starts.
âBecause what if, you know,â Yoongiâs voice warbles, âwhat if tomorrow I come into your cafĂŠ, and you wonât even look at me again?â
Jimin stays frozen on the steps, clutching his phone tight. He had no clue. Not a single idea what went on in Yoongiâs head.
âThatâs not true,â counters Jimin, an urgency to calm Yoongiâs intrusive thoughts swelling in his chest. âI never hated you, even when I was mad at you. Even when I convinced myself that you couldnât stand me, I could neverââhe sighs defeatedlyââhate you. You know?â
ââŚI know.â
âGood.â Jimin rakes a hand through his hair, wishing there was some way to offer some physical comfort to one he cherishes as dearly as Yoongi. âThatâs good.â
âSorry, I got carried away.â
âNo, itâs okay,â says Jimin. âIâm glad you told me. My counselor says itâs good to feel.â
A pause. âYou have a counselor?â
Jimin winces, caught unprepared by his own loose lip. âYeah, every once in a while. Itâs this side therapy thing Iâm part of. Anyway, the point here is, Iâm glad you told me about that fear. Tomorrow, Iâll make sure to look at you.â
Yoongi lets out a long, shaky breath. âYeah?â
Jimin nods in the darkness. âMm! Of course.â
âIâll see you tomorrow, then.â
âThatâs the second time youâre saying that.â
âI like how it sounds. It means I dread a tomorrow where I donât get to see you.â
Jimin lets out a squeak.
Yoongi makes another warbled noise. âWhy, why?â
Jimin buries his face in his knees, overcome with a ridiculous amount of shyness, which makes no sense especially since heâs alone. âNothing.â
ââŚokay?â
âIâll see you tomorrow, too,â Jimin musters, throat tight with fondness.
âYeah. Alright. Cool.â
âYep.â
âGood night? Again, I mean,â Yoongi stanmers.
How is it possible to miss somebody youâre literally on the phone with? One would think theyâve been separated more than 3 years, what with how clingy Jimin immediately feels. âGoodnight.â
Jimin waits for the call to drop and tor the static line to return, phone still pressed to his ear. But when seconds pass and he still hesrs Yoongiâs faint breathingâ
âHyung?â
âYeah? Why havenât you hung up yet?â Yoongi asks, sounding genuinely puzzled.
âWhy havenât YOU?â
Yoongi gives a breathy chuckle. âI donât know.â
If this is what heâs like to his close friends, Jimin wonders if this is a smidgen of what it must be like to be loved by Yoongi, and is gobsmacked with the realization that he wants to love him back just as tenderly.
âAre you in bed right now?â he asks.
âMmm, a little sleepy, why?â
Manly man, Jiminâs ass. So he /is/ sleep-soft! âDo you wanna justââJimin licks his lower lipââstay on the call until someone falls asleep first?â
ââŚokay.â
âIâll read you a bedtime story.â
âFuck offfff.â
A giggle pushes its way out of Jiminâs mouth. âKeep me entertained, then.â
âHow about some trivia,â Yoongi says. âI have this electronic encyclopedia I like to read when Iâm commuting.â
Jimin feigns a gasp. âDonât use your phone while /driving/!â
âI said commute, doofus.â
Jimin laughs quietly and shuffles back into his bedroom, listening and letting Yoongi do whatever he wants, which includes rambling about rare dog breeds and the history of Nike Jordan. At some point, while Yoongi talks about light fixtures and European architecture, Jimin yawns.
âAnd if I could renovate my familyâs house, some waiscoting would be kinda neat, donât you thinkâ ah, Jiminie?â
âMmm?â Jimin mumbles, barely able to keep his eyes open. Yoongiâs voice just has that much of a lullabye quality to it.
âWanna hang up?â
âNo. Iâll miss your voice.â
The line goes quiet, and Jiminâs brain turns even sloppier with sleep.
âIâll still be here tomorrow, you can sleep,â Yoongi murmurs.
âJust continue your wainscoting plans,â Jimin slurs, barely coherent. âYou wanted a studio?â
âAh, yeah, for the music equipment and stuff.â
âSo cool,â Jimin mumbles absently, eyes drooping closed. Yoongiâs voice falls into white noise.
ââŚto be honest, I used to fantasize, years back. What if you had your own room in my house? We could have been like, I donât know. Something like dorm mates. Haha. Weird. I knowâŚâ
ââŚin Hong Kong land is scarce and rent is sky high, I lived there with my parents for about a year but I got sick of it. I always wondered how you would react to my letters, so it was kind of sucky to know you never received them at all. Jiminie?â
Calm silence.
âJimin-ah.â
Another low chortle. âNice to know Iâm your personal ASMR sleep device. Ah, what a lucky fellow you are, getting a free trial from me. Yah, you better subscribe next time, Jimin-ah. My services are expensive. Iâll let you know my rates. You can pay for all my coffee in return.â
âAnyway, I called for many reasons. To hear your voice, mainly. To make sure this is happening. And to tell you that Iâm scared. Iâve always loved you as a friend, you know that. But now Iâm⌠scared.â Yoongi pauses. âOr nervous, more like. Because Iâm getting greedy, marigold.â
Jiminâs little puffs of breath travels the phone line. Yoongi sighs.
ââŚand I lowkey hope youâre getting greedy, too. I- we might be on the same page, someday. Letâs go slowly. I donât mind if we crawl, I just donât want this to break. Good night, marigold. See you tomorrow.â
In the still silence of Yoongiâs bedroom, he clicks off the call and presses his phone to his chest as he lies flat, staring at the ceiling.
He goes to his study deak and flips open a journal he hasnât touched in years, adding to his bucket list:
/12. Tell him youâre in love./
Good night/morning the next update is gonna be a lot less calm than this, haha!
I will work hard!!! If you like this story, please consider supporting my writing with a cuppa coffee, Iâll love and appreciate you always.
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
For those on Patreon, you might appreciate a peek of this before the update starts^^ thank you for subscribing and supporting my work
Link: patreon.com/posts/68554042
[Social Taetae]
good day my dahlias
[not eatjin]
since when did we become flowers
[nam of the june]
petition to be grass please
:(
grass is always ignored
[busan bestie]
heh
so i donât need to go outside
to touch grass :>
geddit
[jimin of the park]
howâd u get in the gc?
[busan bestie]
manifestation
[jimin of the park]
youâre not even in college
no minors allowed here!
[busan bestie]
HEY
/busan bestie changed the group chat name to âno below 174cm allowedâ/
[jimin of the park]
??????
this is foul
[busan bestie]
oh so now youâre crying
[Social Taetae]
pack it up jwaman and yoongi-hyung
[dtownbeats]
Iâm 174 on a good day actually
[jimin of the park]
i hate yâall
[drownbeats]
:<
[jimin of the park]
jk hyunggg
[busan bestie]
omg
[not eatjin]
wtf
[Hoba]
hahaha you are all so funny!!!
[Social Taetae]
hi hyung :)
hey :)
good morning ^^
[Hoba]
[nam of the june]
okay so you were saying
[Social Taetae]
right
so about our summer trip
i propose
drumroll please
[Hoba]
[Social Taetae]
the beach!
Busan!
[busan bestie]
NO
[not eatjin]
why not
[busan bestie]
besties i just got to seoul
why would u send me back
das not a vacation
i want a refund
[Social Taetae]
ok
/âbusan bestieâ has left the chat./
[jimin of the park]
lmaaaoooo did you kick him
[Social Taetae]
as I was saying
beach trip?
[nam of the june]
ok not to be biased
but jungkook does have a point
many of us here are from busan, so wouldnât it be more like homecoming?
[Social Taetae]
hmmm
[dtownbeats]
i donât mind busan
but for this one, what about a different place?
[Hoba]
Jeju-do!
[not eatjin]
[nam of the june]
[dtownbeats]
jeju-do has good tangerines :]
[jimin of the park]
letâs go to jeju then
[Social Taetae]
ok set
/âSocial Taetaeâ added âbusan bestieâ to the chat./
[busan bestie]
what did i miss
[not eatjin]
tripâs cancelled
[busan bestie]
what why
wait
donât let my opinions sway you
i didnât know i mattered that much :â)
but busan is fine
[jimin of the park]
weâre going to jeju-do, doofus
[not eatjin]
hold up
ah
not all of us, ig
[nam of the june]
?
[dtownbeats]
hyung and i need to visit home
[Social Taetae]
!!!! will your parents be back in Daegu?
[not eatjin]
yeah
gotta make sure the upkeep of the main house is up to standard
also, appaâs birthday
[nam of the june]
why donât we just go to daegu then
[Social Taetae]
nooo iâm from there
[busan bestie]
SEE?
[Hoba]
okay so
busan and daegu, no
jeju is still in the lead
yoongi-hyung, when are you scheduled to leave soul?
[dtownbeats]
the day after the summer festival live stage
weâll be in daegu a few days only
[Hoba]
okay in that case then
we move the jeju trip once theyâre back
ok?
[Social Taetae]
call
[not eatjin]
hmm
call
[nam of the june]
ok^^ ă ă ă
[busan bestie]
aite
[dtownbeats]
sorry for causing a delay
[jimin of the park]
itâs not an inconvenience no biggie
go enjoy daegu haha
Jimin blinks when his phone pings with a new private text.
[dtownbeats]
jimin-ah
good morning :]
itâs just a few days in daegu
Jimin lifts one eyebrow, one side of his mouth tipping upwards.
[jimin of the park]
wow
didnât know you were a morning person
youâve never told me âgood morningâ before
[dtownbeats]
fine i take it back
[jimin of the park]
NAUR
no takebacks
else youâll ruin my day
[dtownbeats]
ah, what a heavy responsibility
[jimin of the park]
ă ă ă ă
see you later?
youâre coming by the cafe right
[dtownbeats]
ah
about that
the guys called for band practiceâŚ
sorry
iâll try to come by
[jimin of the park]
ah
i see
[dtownbeats]
donât get too lonely without me lol
[jimin of the park]
lmao????
are you kidding???
a yoongi-less day?? MY LIFELONG DREAM
[dtownbeats]
ah.
[jimin of the park]
just kidding
[dtownbeats]
:]
[jimin of the park]
or am i?
[dtownbeats]
by any chance
just in case youâre curious
do you wanna come by our rehearsal
after your shift, that is
[jimin of the park]
oh like a chaperone
[dtownbeats]
??? like a friend
Jimin makes a face.
/A friend./ Hmmmph.
[jimin of the park]
maybe
send me the address
Contrary to what Jimin assumed and despite his busy shift, a Yoongi-less day is nothing but excruciatingly slow. A snail would be faster that the minute hand on the clock. Throughout the afternoon, he ends up counting down the hours until he gets to kiss- no, see Yoongi again.
/No strings attached/, he tries to convince himself while fiddling with the coffee machine. For all he knows, Yoongi might just be enjoying this whole bro-to-bro kissing practice. He knows some guys whoâve kissed their closest friends before.
ââNo stringsâ?â Taehyung pipes up.
âHuh?â Jimin snaps out of his reverie, the smell of coffee hitting his nose and the chatter of the cafĂŠ blasting back to his senses in full force.
âYou were mumbling to yourself just now,â Taehyung says matter-of-factly, wedging his way towards the display fridge.
Jiminâs neck warms even under the air conditioner gusting from above, and he jerks his gaze back to the coffeemaker. âIâm just a little out of it, I guess.â
Taehyung hums. âSucks when Table 7 isnât around, huh? Even worse, hyungâll be in Daegu soonâŚâ
Jimin elbows him.
He doesnât want to think about that. At least not yet.
Taehyung cackles under his breath and squeezes past Jimin again, carrying a tray of mousse cake and fruity smoothies. Jimin watches as Taehyung sashays past Hoseok & does a double take when Hoseok pats the small of his back.
Interesting.
Well then.
Another hour passes, with Taemin dropping by to grab one final iced Americano along with promises to meet up in the future, before heading to Incheon Airport.
At 7.45pm, Jiminâs feet start tapping impatient. 15 more minutes until his shift ends!
To entertain himself, he texts Chrysanthemum.
[little bud]
heya
tip pls
how to not miss someone
Unlike other times theyâve chatted, it takes Chrysanthemum a longer time to reply. Jimin is already changing out of his apron when his phone vibrates again.
[chrys]
wish i knew
[little bud]
ohhh?
is that romance in the air i sense
is my senpai in luuuurve ă ă ă
[chrys]
no comment
[little bud]
wait
you ARE
you so are!!! who is it?!?
Chrysanthemum stops replying after that, which Jimin sees as a cheap, easy cop-out. He huffs.
As soon as he skips out of The Cacao Crushers and into the mid-June humid breeze, he hums to himself, following the pinned location that Yoongi-hyung had sent him. Apparently Blue&Greyâs practice studio is at Euljiro(3)ga. Very hipster of them, really.
Jimin boards the subway.
As the train zips along the underground tunnels, Jiminâs itchy fingers reach for his phone again, and this time he texts the source of his jitters directly instead of asking his counselor for help.
[jimin of the park]
not to be straightforward but
about the kiss trial thing
[jimin of the park]
how about once a day
for starters i mean
if youâre comfortable with that
and if we want to cross any more boundaries we can signal it with the 500-won fee we impossd earlier
The reply comes three minutes later.
[dtownbeats]
what
[jimin of the park]
what
Yoongi doesnât reply after, which both frustrates but makes Jiminâs heart flutter. He supposes he must be some kind of masochist, because boy does he enjoy feeling a little on edge when it comes to his ever-enigmatic Min Yoongi hyung. It looks like heâll get an answer in person.
Heâs about to regret the string of messages he just sent when subway voiceover announces his destination. Jimin alights at the station, distracted from saying anything stupider.
At night, it makes sense why Euljiro(3)ga is nicknamed as âhip-jiroââalleys are drenched in neon.
Along the streets, chairs and tables are scattered and spilled about, and patrons lounge about while feasting on fried chicken, beer, and other assortments of cheap street food. Itâs a typical June night and Jimin basks in the vibe while searching for Blue&Greyâs basement studio.
He makes a left turn and enters a skinny alley lit in cobalts and aquas, squinting at his phone screen. According to Naver, this should be the location of a semi-basement studio.
Sure enough, Jimin can make out faint sounds of a drum and an electric guitar from somewhere below.
He canât find the entrance though, because the only visible point of entry is one that leads inside a motel. Jimin dials his phone and presses it to his ear.
âHello?â
âHyung, Iâm here outside the studio,â Jimin says. âCanât find the door, though. Are you guys done?â
âHold up, yeah,â Yoongi answers, an uptick of something like delight lacing his tone. âWeâre packing up, Iâll find you in a bit.â Then a moment later, in a more muffled voice that sounds like heâs covering the receiver he calls out, âThanks, guys. Iâll head off first.â
âAh!â A distant voice calls out from somewhere near Yoongi. âIs that your Jiminie, hyung?â
âHi Jimiiiin!â Another voice calls out, sounding suspiciously like Huening Kai.
âSay hi toââ
âShut up,â Yoongi grumbles, and then the call is promptly dropped. Jimin stares at his phone.
Thereâs a little seed of warmth in the pit of his tummy, making him feel all warm and fuzzy the way you do when something new is growing, or itchy in the way of a healing wound. Either way, itâs not an unpleasant feeling.
Moments later, bootsteps echo from a stairwell nearby.
And then Yoongiâs pale face appears as he ascends the staircase that opens down to a basement just next to the neon-lit motel. Heâs wearing a cool bomber jacket whilst carrying a black keyboard bag. Jimin straightens up & gives him a shy wave.
Without a word, Yoongi marches over.
Under the neon lights, the silver embossed symbols on his jacket seems to reflect a multitude of fragmenting colors, Jimin can only stand rigid and stare, pulse skipping, as Yoongiâs porcelain grows more iridescent with every step he takes.
/Beautiful./
He IS a summer night.
When he comes to a pause in front of Jimin, alarmingly too close for Jiminâs lungs to work properly, Jimin has no choice but to rip his eyes away & glance down.
Which is how he spots a little brown poodle keychain hanging from the zipper of Yoongiâs keyboard bag.
âOh?â he says.
Jimin points weakly at the poodle keychain, feeling his knees go weak for some undiscernible reason. âIs that the one I won for you years ago?â
Yoongi follows his gaze, then nods fondly. âOne & only.â
Jimin grins and looks up. âCanât believe you stillââ
Yoongi pecks his cheek.
Jiminâs words taper off into a stuttered wheeze, heart rate accelerating. He clutches his cheek. âOh?â He grins wickedly. âThatâs your quota.â
âThat so?â Yoongi reaches into his back jeans pocket to press a 500-won coin to Jiminâs hand.
Then he leans in and kisses his temple.
It lasts barely longer than 2 seconds, but the warmth of Yoongiâs closeness lingers, ghostlike. Jiminâs toes curl, & by the time Yoongi steps back to brush away an unruly lock of hair from his eyes, he has a shit-eating grin on his face.
âHi,â Yoongi murmurs.
Jimin beams. âHi.â
Their nighttime dateâTO BE CONTINUED!
If you loved this update, please feel free to drop me a cappucino goodniiight!
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Bathed in the blending glos of fuschia, teal and sunrise yellow from the neon street signs around them, Yoongiâs porcelain face remains full of vigor. His hair is rugged, long enough to cover his eyes, which reminds Jiminâ
âAh,â Jimin starts, rummaging through his bad. âHere.â
Yoongi accepts it blindly, only seeming to process what the item is once itâs in his hand. âYou got me⌠a box of rubber bands?â
âHairties,â Jimin corrects, opening the boxâs topcover pull one rubber band out. He steps just a bit closer to run a hand through Yoongiâs hair.
As if by instinct, Yoongi ducks his chin to grant him further access in order to create a tiny bun on the crown of his head. âThis is so unnecessary.â
âShut up.â Biting his lower lip, Jimin picks a rubberband to tie Yoongiâs loose locks the same way he did at the airport.
When he steps back, Yoongi gives a testy shake of his head. âIt helps with the stray hair, I guess.â
Jimin rolls his eyes, then reaches into his bag again for a can of orangeade he got from a nearby vending machine while waiting for Yoongi. âHere.â
Yoongi arches an eyebrow.
âWhat?â Jimin lifts his chin pointedly.
âHowâd you know I like orange?â
Jimin scoffs and places the drink in Yoongiâs palm. âDuh. Thatâs literally in the first letter you wrote me.â
Yoongi clears his throat and dips his head, one corner of his mouth lifting. âYou remember?â
Jimin suppresses a grin. âOf course.â
Yoongi, on his part, keeps his eyes fixed on the canned drink, nodding and mumbling, âHuh. Thanks.â
âWhat was that?â Jimin uses his left hand to gently tip Yoongiâs chin up. âLook at me when you say it, hyung. My eyes are here.â
He bursts into low chuckles when Yoongi stubbornly looks anywhere but at his face. âMm. Thanks.â
Jimin lets his hand wander to the apple of Yoongiâs cheek to give him a light pinch. âYouâre welcome. Have you guys eaten?â
Only when the topic switches does Yoongi look at him.
âNot yet.â Yoongi lifts his keyboard case. âLet me put this in the trunk and we can maybe walk around and find some place?â
Jimin secretly revels in the assumption that theyâll have dinner together, just the two of them, as if itâs a given thing. He shrugs. âSure.â
He trails after Yoongi down a narrow alley that leads to a small parking lot, silently watching the way the little poodle keychain bouncing on the keyboard caseâs zipper. The keychain isnât dusty or moldy, Jimin notes with a warm satisfaction. âYou took care of Holly, huh.â
Yoongi pauses, looks over his shoulder, and slows down for Jimin to catch up to his pace. Once theyâre side by side, he resumes walking. âHeâs cute.â
Jimin nods. âI bet he is.â
âMakes me want to take care of him.â
Heat floods Jiminâs veins, and now itâs his turn to duck shyly.
âHeâs in pristine condition,â Jimin says, glancing at the keychain just so he wonât have to look at Yoongi. âIâd say youâve done a good job.â
âI could do better,â Yoongi deadpans, and Jimin is about to completely lose it and squeak right then and there when the elder turns left.
âThis way.â He takes out and presses his car keys, and is met with a beeping sound from his Audi. Only after he has opened the passenger seat for Jimin does he head to the back to load his instrument into the trunk.
Jimin hesitates by the open passenger door. âWeâre driving?â
Yoongi hums, rounding the car to open the driverâs seat. âThereâs this nice bistro I know, we could head over there.â
âI thought you said weâd walk around.â Jimin pounts and points at the sky. âMoonâs out tonight. Weatherâs nice. Hyuuung.â
He watches Yoongiâs Adamâs apple bob.
After an extended silence, Yoongi shuts the door to the driverâs seat and walks towards Jiminâs side to close the passenger door. As soon as it clicks shut, Jimin leans against it to face him. âThis area is your bandâs turfâtake me to your favorite place to eat. Do you have any?â
He doesnât really know when his hands started moving, just that itâs already too late because theyâre tightening into fists at the hem of Yoongiâs bomber jacket to tug him closer. Yoongi obliges, sandwiching him between the Audi.
âI-I know a kalguksu place.â His voice is hoarse.
Jiminâs lips quirk up. âOkay. Letâs go slurpee durpee those noodles then.â
Yoongi chortles, then takes him by surprise when he starts to lean in closerâ
âUh, hyung?â
âonly to pause, hovering when his face is right next to Jiminâs, mouth by his ear.
This must be a fever dream.
Jiminâs nerve endings are firecrackers, an electric thrill thrumming through his skin at their mere proximity. Something in his chest tightens, as though begging for release, and he stuttersâ âW-what are we doing?â
âNothing. Just,â Yoongi huffs, then inhales, âyou smell good.â
Then he steps back, leaving behind a cold wormhole in the sudden new gap between them. Jimin scrunches his nose and beats a weak fist at his chest.
âDonât startle me like that.â
Yoongi catches his fist, eyes crinkling. âDid you put on perfume?â
âNo.â (It was Jo Malone.)
âYou mean, ânaurâ?â And fuck, Jimin is so gone for that teasing smirk.
âExactly,â he plays along, pretending not to notice when Yoongi splays his hands out and links their fingers together. âI woke up smelling like luxury. My fart probably smells like roses.â
âNah.â
âYou wouldnât know that.â Jimin pushes off from the Audi as they start a leisurely pace, the warm night like a cozy blanket over them.
âI do, actually.â Yoongi swings their hands together. âThat time when you visited me in Daegu, you farted a couple of timesââ
âNot on purpose!â
âWho the hell deliberately farts?â Yoongi counters in rough satoori, which makes Jimin bend over to laugh, partly from embarrassment and partly from the need to hide his scarlet cheeks.
When he straightens back up, Yoongiâs eyes are trained on him, for once not bashful.
âWhat?â
Yoongi shakes his head and resumes walking. âHavenât heard that laugh in a while.â
Something inside of Jimin swoops, like a rug has been pulled from beneath him and now his stomach is plunging to unknown depths. At the same time, his chest swells with too much fondness.
He bites his lip at the prickle behind his eyes, then inches closer to smoosh his arm against Yoongiâs side. Jimin hates appearing clingy like this, but he doesnât quite have the proper words to articulate the emotion overflowing in him, so he lets his body express his heart.
Yoongi casts him a sidelong glance, half of his face bathed in a neon indigo glow from the signs theyâre walking past. âHmm?â
Jimin clears his throat and murmurs, âYou make laughing easy.â
Yoongi falls quiet, and gives him a gentle nudge. âI always knew my jokes were top-tier.â
Jimin gives a wry smile. âI canât believe I almost convinced myself I hated you up until a few weeks ago.â
âTo be fair, we were on the same boat,â Yoongi says. He points at a storefront with several plastic chairs and tables laid out on the sidewalk. âWeâre here.â
They designate one of the outdoor tables at a farthest corner of the sidewalk for more privacy, and order two bowls of noodles and a dumpling platter to share.
âYou excited for the summer showcase?â Jimin asks once the server leaves.
Yoongi shrugs. âIâm more anxious, really.â
âWhy?â
âItâs pretty irrational, really. And Iâm aware. But uh,â Yoongi licks his lower lip and shifts in his seat. âI get lost in my head worrying often. What if something goes wrong, like the speakers overheat, or the crowd boosââ
âNot with me and Taehyung there,â Jimin says.
Yoongiâs left eyebrow lifts slightly, but he relents with a nod. âAssuring, but I remain worried.â
Jimin is so tempted to reach across the table and folds their hands together, but theyâre surrounded by people right now, unlike the narrow alley earlier. âThen find an anchor.â
Yoongi sends him a quizzical look. Jimin raises a hand. âLet me explain. A friend of mine once advised that when things feels unhinged, it helps to find an anchor.â Itâs 1 of Chrysâ many advisories during their chatting sessions. âYou know, to ground you.â
âI know how it works.â
âYeah, well then, when things get loud, just think of something or look at the anchor youâve decided on,â Jimin says matter-of-factly, feeling proud that heâs the advise giver this time round. âWhat makes you feel safe?â
Yoongiâs gaze burns into his for an extended silence.
It goes on for so long that Jimin squirms in his seat, awkwardly fidgeting and running his hand through his hair. âObviously you donât need to answer right, hahaââ
âKalguksu,â Yoongi blurts just as two steaming bowls of noodles are serves in front of them.
Jimin pauses. âEh?â
Yoongi clears his throat and gestures to their bowls. âEat while itâs warm.â
Jimin tips his heas to one side, then school his expression from a frown to that of casual acceptance. âWell, thatâs fair. Food can be a good anchor, I suppose.â
Yoongi sighs and slurps his noodles.
Jimin hums, watching him eat, then picks up a piece of dumpling and lowers it into Yoongiâs plate. âThere. Iâm being a good dongsaeng, am I not?â
Yoongi glances up at him, amusement flashing across his eyes, then reaches over to wipe one thumb over the corner of Jiminâs mouth.
Jimin blinks. âHmm?â
âHmmm,â Yoongi echoes in a placating tone. âYou had something there. Messy eater.â
And just because he craves closeness, Jimin mirrors the gesture and brushes a knuckle over the side of Yoongiâs lips even though thereâs nothing there. âTsk tsk. You too.â
Yoongi wrinkles his nose, which Jimin copies. When Yoongi bows his head for a mouthful of noodles, Jimin follows the same.
âStop it,â Yoongi warns, albeit with no bite to his tone.
âStop what?â
âCopying me. This isnât Simon says.â
âI donât know what you mean,â Jimin sings.
Yoongi smiles into his food, shaking his head. âInsufferable.â
Jimin sticks out his tongue. âYou love me.â
His heart seizes when he realizes what words just slipped out of him, and he glances up at Yoongi, stricken.
Yoongi is quietly stirring his soup. Dread overtakes Jimin.
That was too brash. He cringes.
This is what he hates so much about his blabbermouth self. Often, when Jimin gets carried away in the heat of a moment, he loses all brain-to-mouth filter which makes him look like a total fool. He shouldnât pressure Yoongi for confirmation.
And yet Jimin wants to know, wants to hear it. As much as actions seem to have their own meaning, he still canât ever be sure.
But right now, the longer Yoongi doesnât speak, his head down, the tighter the knot of dread in Jiminâs tummy twists. He gulps. âNevermindââ
â2 colas!â
They both look up in relief at the server lying down two cups of ice and canned Coke on their table. Jimin is grateful for the interruption, because it diffuses the sudden weirdness caused by the tension in the air moments ago.
âAnyway, Taemin-hyung left today,â Jimin starts.
âTaemin?â While chewing, Yoongi glances sharply up at Jimin, much to Jiminâs dismay.
He can practically feel a heavy, invisible heart sinking below his ribs, one by one. Still, he keeps up a cheery smile. âYeah! He said he needed to get on the earliest flight.â
âAaahh.â
Jimin nods repeatedly, lips pursed, then grabs his drink, if only to fill the sudden silence between them with his own sips. He peeks at Yoongi, whose expression is smooth and unreadable while he stirs his bowl.
âIs it too hot?â Jimin ventures, glancing pointedly at the broth.
Yoongi shakes his head and clears his throat. âSo uh. You and TaeminâŚhow long were you together?â
âLike, officially?â Jimin tilts his head questioningly.
Yoongiâs expression falters. âThere was an unofficial stage?â
âWell, most relationships do. Officially⌠about two years?â
Yoongi lowers his gaze back to his swirling chopsticks, humming in response. âI guess it was pretty serious, then.â
Jimin doesnât really know how to answer that, because on one hand, while he and Taemin /were/ long-term, it wasnât like Jimin saw the rest of his life with him.
So he shrugs, licks his lower lip and continues to slurp his kalguksu, unable to quell the niggling sensation that something in the air is torpedoing in the wrong direction. âTaemin-hyung was a huge pillar of support. Still is.â
Yoongiâs face seems stiffer than moments ago.
He takes a swig of cola and leans back against the chair, regarding Jimin with one of his searching, unreadable gazes. âHe seems like a nice guy.â
âHe is,â Jimin perks up, fondly remembering how his relationship with Taemin had been. How Taemin never forced anything on him.
âYeah?â
Jimin nods. âHeâs non-judgmental, super friendly and sweet with people, and he really helped me settle into Perth while i was there. Honestly, heâs a huge reason why it was bearable. â /And he helped me forget you temporarily, too/, is what he omits.
Yoongi hums lowly.
Now that heâs started opening up about his life to Yoongi, heâs hit with the urge to just reveal his soul now, hardships and fond memories included. âWe met at a party, but heâs not like one of those toxic wild dudes. He supported me at my rock bottom. Iâm glad weâre friends.â
âThat so?â Yoongi quirks one eyebrow, busying himself with his food again. Thereâs a darkness in his clouded gaze that only makes Jimin squirm. âBet you wanted to marry him at some point.â
Jimin makes a face, trying to ignore the sting those words send through him. âNot really?â
Yoongi smirks into his bowl, but he doesnât comment any further, which annoys Jimin becauseâwell here he is, trying to share about his life, and for some reason Yoongi is just reacting in a detached, haughty manner thatâs totally unlike him. âTry not to assume that, hyung.â
âWasnât assuming. Just speculating,â Yoongi answers in a noncommittal tone, not meeting Jiminâs look of affront.
âIâm just trying to share about my life with you,â Jimin says, feeling an indignant heat roll through him. He pauses and sighs, trying to rein in his rising temper.
âI mean, surely Taemin wasnât the only part of your life in Australia,â Yoongi remarks lightheartedly, accompanied by a scoff. Heâs smiling, but it doesnât reach his eyes.
âHeâs one of the better parts of my time there,â Jimin blurts. âHis /presence/ helped me resent you less.â
Yoongiâs chopsticks stops dead in the midst of lifting his noodles, and he lifts his head to level a long, frigid look at Jimin. âIâm not sure what thatâs supposed to mean.â
Jimin swallows heavily, setting down his chopsticks to sit on his clammy hands. He doesnât like this air.
âPark Jimin,â Yoongi says, his voice low and steady but a lot more lukewarm than heâs been speaking with all night. âWhat do you mean?â
âI really hated you, for a time,â Jimin says through trembing lips, his heart drumming wildly against his ribcage. âBecause you ghosted meââ
âWeâve gone through this.â Thereâs an involuntary muscle ticking in Yoongiâs jaw. âYou know thatâs not the case.â
âYeah, but at that time I didnât know, did I?â Jimin says, lips pulling into a thin line. His spine is taut, defensive. âSo is it my fault for wanting to forget?â
Yoongiâs expression turns conflicted. âThen that wasnât very fair to Taemin.â
âI loved him, in my own way. I care about him a lot, hyung,â Jimin says, trying his best to keep his voice at a moderate pitch. âI appreciate it if you didnât speak on my feelings and experiences.â
âIâm just saying there couldâve been healthier avenuesââ
âOh, donât be a hypocrite,â Jimin snaps, his appetite completely squashed now. ââCause to me it sounds like you didnât want me to be happy there. And now youâre talking as if you didnât have your own relationship, too.â
âOkay, you want me to be honest?â Yoongi mutters, setting down his chopsticks and pushing away his half-empty bowl. âFine, since weâre talking transparency, then Iâd be lying if I said I didnât want you to be even just slightly miserable out there. Yeah. Guess Iâm no saint, huh?â
Jimin flinches and lets his shoulders slump forward, and Yoongi must have clocked the pained expression on his face, because he does a double take & gulps, averting his gaze.
âI donât know what to say to that,â Jimin says, because to be honest, heâd also cursed Yoongi back then.
âI mean, thanks for the honesty, I guess,â he continues, scrunching his nose. âEven though thatâs lowkey toxic. Iâd be a liar if I said I didnât wish youâd be worse off without my friendship back then, too.â
Yoongi sighs and shakes his head. âLowkey? More like highkey.â
Jimin pokes out his lower lip, his stomach feeling like itâs been put on tumble dry. âThis is weird. I donât like it.â
Across him, Yoongi shifts in his seat, fidgeting with his bomber jacket zipper. âMe neither.â
If air could have a flavor or texture, it would be rancid, damp.
âI donât want to be around you right now,â Jimin finds himself saying, which surprises him, because he never would have had the guts to say such words aloud to anyone else.
Yoongi sulks.
âI mean, I canât be around you for the moment,â Jimin rephrases.
âLetâs call it a night.â
Yoongi pushes off from the table to stand, taking their order chit with him to pay at the counter.
Jimin canât help the deep frown settling over his face. âIf you say so,â he mutters under his breath. He follows Yoongi to the cash resgister, keeping a meterâs distance.
When they step out into the street, Jimin continues to trail after him from behind, freezing when his gaze falls on the parked Audi.
Jimin stops in his tracks and spins on his heel. âIâll take the subway home.â
Yoongi snorts. âNo, Iâll send you home first.â
âI donât wanna.â
In the darkness of the carpark, Yoongi seems to shrink, his back going stiff as he just⌠/looks/ back at him. Jimin wishes his face wasnât so obscured by shadows right now. Yoongi huffs and runs his hand over his hair, only to pause when he realizes to late that itâs in a bun.
Heâs irritated. That much, Jimin can guess. Well, Park Jimin is annoyed, too. He crosses his arms, aghast as Yoongi clucks his tongue and tugs the rubberband free.
Jimin rolls his eyes and steps forward. âGive me that.â
âNo,â Yoongi bites back.
âHyung. Chill. Lemme fix it.â
Eventually Yoongi stops withholding the rubberband from him, although Jimin does in some way has to manhandle it from the guyâs palm. He sighs, pulling Yoongiâs floppy dark hair into a new bun.
Then, he hears a sniffle.
Jiminâs gaze snaps down from Yoongiâs hair to his face.
His gaze is downcast, but his eyelashes are damp, and the pent-up anger in Jiminâs chest seems to subside at the sight of it. âHyungââ
âSave it,â Yoongi cuts in quietly.
Jimin steps back, watching him be miserable, and feeling the same misery leaking out towards him.
âLetâs⌠letâs talk about i-it another time,â Yoongi stutters, voice wavering as he hugs his arms to himself. He clears his throat, staring at the ground for a heartbeat longer, then turns around. âBye.â
Jiminâs chest squeezes as he watches him trudge away. âFine, be like that!â
Grumbling to himself, Jimin shoves his hands into his jeans pockets and spins on his heel, stalking off while thinking of every possible way to delete this moment from his memory. âStupid Min Yoongi.â How had they come to this? Theyâd started out so well. âSo be itââ
âJiminie.â
Jimin freezes mid-step, the heel of his Chelsea boot barely touching the ground, and turns back to glower over his shoulder. âWhat, what?â
The rest of his complaints fall away at the sight of Yoongiâs small frame facing him as he stands, illuminated by a lone carpark lamp post.
Jiminâs heart gives a slam. An image flashes in his mindâYoongi alone at that bus stop in Daegu three years ago, unmoving as he watches Jiminâs bus whisk him farther and father away. Back then, Jimin hadnât had the capacity to run back to him.
He croaks out, âStupid Min Yoongi.â
And then heâs storming back to the only boy whose soul has touched his, fuelled by a dull anger heâs polished over years, and a greater affection that heâs been harboring for even longer. Yoongiâs eyes widen at his approach.
âYouâve always frustrated me the most,â Jimin says.
He is much too frustrated for a hug, but he doesnât want to not touch him either, so he opts for standing as close as his feet can bring him to Yoongi, and leaning in to knock his forehead against his.
âOw!â Yoongi hisses amidst his tears.
âTake that!â Jimin pouts stubbornly.
Rubbing his forehead with a giant âWTFâ face, Yoongi grumbles, âWhat was that for?â
Jimin shrugs, scuffing the toe of his right boot on the ground. His face feels hotâ he canât tell if itâs because of the irritation or the adrenaline of pulling such a random move. âMy wrath.â
Yoongi narrows his eyes at him.
Jimin squints back, and points at his forehead. âSee that red mark? Color of my fury. Youâve been warned, pabo.â
Yoongi scoffs. âYour foreheadâs red too.â
âYouâre so annoying.â
âSays the one who just pulled a dumb move.â
Jimin purses his lips.
âAnyway.â Yoongi looks away. âWeâre both on edge. But I just want you to know I donât mean to make you mad.â
âIs that an apology?â
A shrug.
Jimin sighs & steps forward again. Yoongi eyes him warily. This time as he leans, though, he presses his temple gently against Yoongiâs.
He feels Yoongi hold a breath, but Jimin doesnât do anything more. They donât hug. Itâs just them standing close, temples resting against the other. Jimin whispers croakily, âIâm not mad AT you. But okay, weâll talk tomorrow.â
âBut itâs the summer showcaseâŚâ
âAfter, then.â
He feels Yoongi nod and step away, frowning at nothing in particular. âYeah. Iâll see you tomorrow.â
Jimin nods and shifts his bag strap over his shoulder. âSeeya tomorrow.â
âYou sure you donât- donât want a ride home?â Yoongi asks.
âNah. Iâm good.â Jimin backs away. âNight.â
âNight.â
Jimin turns and scurries away.
(Not soon after, Yoongi slides into the driverâs seat, jaw clenched tight, but doesnât turn on the engine nor think of driving away until Jiminâs shrinking figure disappears from his rearview mirror as he enters the subway station.)
Wow I finally finished this section of an update
It gets worse, donât worry! Have a good day!
Meanwhile, if anybody would like to buy me a cuppa coffee,,, hehe,,, jk,,, unless?
Iâll work hard to give them a good ending.
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
âWhatâs with the long face?â Hoseok is at the kitchen island, slurping up some jajangmyeon, when Jimin sullenly walks in and closes their front door.
Jimin eyes his cousinâs half-raten bowl of noodles, and decides he doesnât wanna make Hoseok lose appetite with negativity.
So he just shrugs and mumbles something about feeling worn out. âWhereâs Jihyunnie?â
âAlready asleep. Says he has an early slot at the HYPE auditions tomorrow.â
Jimin blinks. âOh. Itâs already tomorrwow?â
Hoseok nods, eyes still fixed on him. âSomething wrong, our Jiminie?ââ
Jimin clears his throat and trains his gaze to his bare feet, shuffling towards the kitchen island. Try as he might, he can never seem to sneak away from Hoseokâs knowing gaze. He sits on the chair opposite his cousin, hesitating.
What was it Chrys advised him before? Open up?
He puffs up his cheeks, mustering every last ounce of courage in his body to overcome the cringe of vulnerability and ekes out, âHyung.â
Hoseok sets down his chopsticks and leans his forearms on the kitchen island to lean forward. âYes.â
âItâs about Yoongi-hyung?â Jimin winces.
âAhhh.â Hoseok leans back and cocks his head, regarding Jimin thoughtfully. âWhat, did you two fight?â
Jimin scratches the back of his head. âNot really? I donât know. Maybe.â Was it that obviois that he was upset with Yoongi? Where on his face is it written?
âHow bad was it?â
âI wouldnât say itâs much of a fight as it was⌠like, us being upset with each other.â Jimin sighs and cards a hand over hus hair, annoyed. âLong story shortâwe were having a fun time eating dinner, but then he suddenly got all cold and haughty unprovoked, which ticked me off.â
Hoseok lifts one eyebrow. âThat makes no sense.â
âRight? I thought so too.â
âSurely there was been a reason, or a trigger for the sudden atittude change. What were you guys talking about?â
Jimin hesitates. âWell, I mean, I think I was talking about my exâs supportiveness andââ
âWoah, woah.â His cousin coughs up his jajangmyeon mid-slurp and looks aghast at Jimin. âYou were just talking about Taemin, and Decaf Dude- I mean, Yoongi-hyungâgot all pissy?â
âKinda? He wasnât that pissy.â Jimin gnaws on his lower lip. âOkay, maybe the vibes were a bit off.â
Hoseokâs eyes glimmer with a a new, sharp keenness. âPissy in what way?â
âPassive aggressive!â Jimin laments with a huff. âWhich made me feel like I shouldnât bother opening up to him at all about my life in Perth, even though I wanted to try⌠urgh.â
Hoseok smiles to himself.
âWhat an asshole, then,â Hoseok chimes candidly, picking up his chopsticks to resume stirring his bowl. âMaybe he isnât the best person to open up to.â
Jiminâs head snaps up. âEh?â
Hoseok shrugs. âBased on what youâre saying, he sounds immature.â
âHyung, heâs not like that.â
âI donât know about you, but I probably wouldnât want to befriend someone who tears me down so coldly.â
Something beneath Jiminâs skin prickles at such a harsh statement, and before he knows it heâs adamantly countering, âHeâs /not/ like that. Hyung, heâs a soft boy. Heâs good.â
âReally?â Hoseok casts him a dubious frown. ââCause I wouldnât know since we werenât friends before. If he keeps being mean to you, should I stand in and protect you each time Yoongi appears?â
âNo!â Jimin cries in panic, wringing his hands together. âI swear, you donât have to.â
âReally?â Hoseok narrows his eyes. âWhat makes you say so?â
âWell, he- heâs a good hyung.â
âHow so?â
âUm. Cooks for me. Listens to me. Makes time for me.â Jimin gulps, feeling his pulse quicken in real time. âMakes me feel safe.â
âYou like him?â
âYeah. I meanââ Jimin chokes.
Hoseok grins his diabolical grin, which only serves to send more heat rushing into Jiminâs cheeks. Jiminâs tongue must have forgotten how to Words, because the next thing he knows, all he can do is form little squeaks and strangled, incoherent noises.
âOkay, breathe, Jiminie~â
But how is Jimin supposed to calm down when it truly hits him that maybe the reason why heâs this disgruntled is not just because he likes his childhood penpal, but lo⌠lo⌠âI think Iâm in L-word?â
Hoseok nods sympethetically, clapping. âCongrats!â
Jimin swallows heavily.
âWait,â he says, holding up one finger. No, it canât be for real, right? Heâd fancied the idea of romantic connections with Yoongi, even early on, but it had always been from the perspective of an onlooker, someone fantasizing about the unspeakable. âWait, am I really, though?â
Hoseokâs smile dims. âEh?â
âWhat if Iâm just feeling emotionally attached to him because he makes me feel safe?â Jimim frets in a rush. âWhat if Iâm just afraid to lose him as a friend, which is why Iâm annoyed when we have tension?â
Hoseokâs jaw drops as he stares on. âDude.â
Jimin clutches his head and starts pacing about the kitchen, forming new possible rationalizations for why this canât be real, and wondering why his brain believes this is a bad thing. âBecauseâ Iâve known him forever. How can one fall for someone whoâs always been just there?â
âWoah, woah,â Hoseok says, gesturing with his hands. âJiminie. Why donât we backtrack a little?â
Jimin pauses, urging his brain to listen to his cousin. âHuh?â
âYou two bad a fight,â Hoseok summarizes. âBecause of Taemin, a topic that soured the mood. Correct?â
âYeah.â
âHe didnât seem to react well to Taemin, is that it?â
âSee, thatâs the thing,â Jimin says. He sighs and takes the seat across Hoseok. âBased on previous encounters, heâs always been nice and cordial around Taemin-hyung. So I donât get why heâs suddenly this weird about it.â
âMaybe heâs jealous,â Hoseok throws out casually.
Jimin gnaws on his bottom lip. âI donât think heâs the jealous type. Heâs pretty laid-back.â
âAnd youâre sure of that.â
âYeah!â
âJiminie. Does he make you happy?â
âOf course.â
âDo you want to make him happy?â
ââŚyes.â
âAnd would you feel less happy if, hypothetically speaking, he might suddenly start gushing about how great his ex was to you?â
A sharp twist cuts into Jiminâs gut. âNaur! I mean Iâd try to bear it, but itâll make meââ
Insecure.
âSee?â Hoseok smirks with a tone of finality.
âAny guy can be laid-back, as long as they feel secure about the other person.â Hoseok smiles at Jimin, bright and full of fondness. âI think you underestimate how crazy he is about you.â
Jiminâs heart does a double handstand, making him hide his face behind his hand.
Hoseok reaches over to pinch one of Jiminâs crimson cheeks. âAaah. My little cute dongsaeng. Look at you.â
âHyung, stop!â Jimin wants to crawl into a hole, wishing for his heartbeat to calm.
âAnyway,â Hoseok continues lightheartedly, âso have you guys made things official?â
Jimin groans and leans over to squash his nose into the kitchen island counter, hiding his face. In a nasal voice, he says flatly, âThis is embarrassing. Naur.â
âWhatâs embarrassing about liking another person? You should be ecstatic.â
âHe hasnâtâ urgg.â Jimin bites his lip.
âHmm?â Hoseok cackles, and it drives Jimin wild that his cousin seems to be having /fun/.
âI kinda put words into his mouth, earlier,â Jimin shares with a sinking feeling. âI said, âyou love meâ, and he just stayed quiet.â
âYou idiot, thatâs a given.â
âI wanted to hear itâŚâ
âWell, have you ever thought maybe he wants to hear it from you, too?â Hoseok says.
Jimin falls quiet.
Chuckling as he finishes the last of his meal, Hoseok stands up and pats Jiminâs head on his way to the sink. âTry not to think about heart stuff with your head, mimi.â
ââââââââ
Later while in bed, Jimin clutches his phone to his beating heart, a dilemma keeping him awake.
Should he text Yoongi, or would that make him lose focus for tomorrowâs gig? What if he just ends up sending negative vibes?
But he canât sleep knowing things are weird.
In the end he decides against it, because itâs better to leave some space for each other. If he must rant, there are always other avenues.
[little bud]
;(
Chrysanthemym replies almost immediately.
[chrys]
hello
whatâs wrong
[little bud]
i have: a vent
about my person
[chrys]
ah
your asshole fuckboy?
did he do something?
[little bud]
no! nothing like that
i just realized
i might love him?
[chrys]
oh man
what did i tell you about being careful with red flags
[little bud]
:((((
[chrys]
well, your choices bud
so what happened
[little bud]
itâs a long story ngl
hhhhh i wish i could just
meet you and then rant in person
all this texting makes me lazy haha
Heâs expecting Chrys to shut it down, but insteadâ
[chrys]
yeah maybe that might be cool
[little bud]
really?!
[chrys]
i feel like weâre friends now
and anyway we were gonna meet at the library long ago but got sidetracked, remember?
a meetup is long overdue
[little bud]
wow ok
will you be free tomorrow?
[chrys]
canât, bit busy on campus
[little bud]
oh hey iâm gonna be on campus too!
gonna watch the summer showcase with a friend
[chrys]
oh?
cool cool
iâll be at the summer showcase too
meet you for coffee after maybe?
[little bud]
yeah dude just text me
[chrys]
awesome
see you then
[little bud]
hang in there for a bit more⌠DMFâs final arc is finally taking shape
thank you for staying with this story.
if youâre able to, please support me on Ko-Fi because Iâm low on funds for daily stuff here thank you in advance
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Jungkook slides into the bench next to Jimin and Taehyung with a firm thud of a Tupperware on the table. âEomma wanted you to have this.â
Jimin stares at the orange-stained box. âKook-ah.â
âIs that kimchi?â Taehyung snickers.
Jungkook, to his credit, actually looks sheepish.
âKook-ah,â Jimin says, glancing about the campus quad. âItâs been over a week since you arrived from Busan. Why bring it /now/?â
âI forgot.â Jungkook makes a face. âTil I saw it in Namjoon-hyungâs fridge.â
âYou know what, heâs got the college aesthetic right,â says Taehyung.
Jungkook gives him an appreciative high five. âApplication for new best friendâs open, hyung.â
âHey,â Jimin laments, nudging Jungkookâs feet under the table. To make a point, he hugs Jungkookâs momâs kimchi Tupperware close with a possessive frown.
Taehyung grins at Jungkook.
Across them, a few student volunteers have begun to set up neat barricades for queues into the main hall where the summer showcase will be held. Jungkook, whoâs been looking around, spots it and jumps to his feet.
âItâs open! 30 minutes to showtime, come on, come on oldies.â
âSo which performance are you looking forward to the most?â Taehyung asks, and the excitement in Jungkookâs eyes morph into something dreamy.
âThe stage MC.â
âThat would be Namjoon-hyung,â Jimin mutters into Taehyungâs ear. Jungkook dabs three times in agreement.
âSo like, are you two together?â Taehyung asks.
Jungkook shrugs. âAll the time.â
âCool.â
As they join the queue to enter the hall, Taehyung turns to Jimin with a knowing look, eyebrows waggling. âAs for you, obviously we all know which performance youâre anticipating.â
Jimin squirms, flushing, & fixes his gaze to the floor. âNot really.â
He has more than 1 reason for being here today, and has got a lot in mind. Part of him has forgotten to just enjoy the campus showcase at all.
âOh?â Taehyung cocks his head. âYouâre not eager to see hyung?â
âYeah, Jimin-ssi, arenât you here to fulfill boyfriend duties?â Jungkook teases, resting one elbow on Jiminâs shoulder.
Jimin scowls and drops his shoulder to brush Jungkook off. âWeâre- weâre not like that.â
âYet,â Taehyung adds. Jimin shakes his head.
âWeâre on bad terms.â
Jungkookâs eyes go round. â/Again/?â
Jiminâs eyebrows furrow. /Again/, huh. Thatâs right. His and Yoongiâs friendship has always been tumultuous from the start. He scratches his head. âI donât know. Weâll see how it goes later.â
âSo youâll finally talk about it?â says Taehyung.
âWhat did you fight about?â asks Jungkook.
âAre you going to apologize?â Taehyung adds.
Jimin grimaces and gestures frivolously with his hands. âItâs not- I donât know, okay. Iâm trying to figure things out, too.â
âWhat, about being in love with him?â Tashyung presses.
âNaur!â Jimin groans and drops his face into his hands. Heâs saved from the burden of having to answer when a student volunteer waves them into the auditorium, and Jimin takes the chance to scamper down the carpeted stairs to find empty seats near the center of the hall.
His pulse is all skippity-hoppity for no reason, and as he presses a palm to his chest, the grooves of a certain guitar pick necklace around his neck meets his fingers, cool and solid.
Licking his lips, Jimin sits down, followed by his two other friends.
âSoooo,â Taehyung says conversationally. âHoseok-hyungâs not here.â
Jimin senses the underlying questions behind that statement. Now that the topic isnât about him, heâs eager to play into the chat. He shoots Taehyung an apologetic look. âThe cafeâs understaffed, you know that.â
Taehyung nods. âYeah, but he did say heâd try to find people to replace his shiftâŚâ
Jimin shrugs. âWhy donât you text him yourself.â
âLook whoâs talking,â Taehyung shoots back, eyes gleaming. âHave you even texted Yoongi-hyung about today? Does he know youâre here?â
âO-of course.â Before their little fallout last night, theyâd just been talking about it! And besides, Jimin isnât so petty (anymore, at least) that he wouldnât turn up to such an important event to Yoongi. That, and he does feel curious about finally meeting Chrysanthemum.
Although that part, he keeps to himself. For some reason he feels protective of his connection to Chrysanthemum, even with his friends. The counselor has become a pretty meaningful person to Jiminâs life, and thereâs a small voice in his head saying this should stay private.
Perhaps itâs this overlapping of thoughts of two different people that has Jimin whipping out his phone and crafting a message to his counselor:
[little bud]
good luck^^
Jimin smiles to himself for a good few seconds until he realizesâ
âShit.â His veins freeze. âWrong sent!â
To make it even weirder, his phone buzzes a few seconds laterâ
[chrys]
thanks!
Jimin lets out a baffled noise as he scans the reply over and over.
[little bud]
huh
what
[chrys]
what
[little bud]
wrong sent sorry
[chrys]
oh cool
you know someone performing tonight?
[little bud]
oh yeah haha
a friend
whyâd you say thanks though ahah
[chrys]
ah
well
tonightâs pretty important for my portfolio
gotta make sure things go smooth
Ok gotta go
Jimin hums. Portfolio, huh? Maybe Chrys is one of the several student volunteers helping out tonight.
[little bud]
ok have fun
cya later
The moment his text sends, the house lights in the auditorium theater begin to dim. Jimin pockets his phone, craning his neck to see the stage. âAre they coming out now?â
âBlue&Grey are the last to perform. Seventh,â Taehyung supplies.
Jimin nods, leaning back in his seat.
Next to him, Jungkookâs head whips left and right, eyes blown wide. âWah. I didnât know their band was this popular. They even have those lightstick thingies.â
âHuh?â Jimin follows his gaze to where a group of girls their age are seated.
Sure enough, some of them are waving up posters spelling out, âYOONGI MARRY MEâ while others are toying with makeshift lightsticks, made by wrapping blue fabric over plain flashlights.
Jimin clears his throat and turns to Jungkook. âBut none of them are penpals with MY hyung.â
Jungkook smirks and raises both hands are if to surrender. âEasy now, no hissy hissy!â
Jimin turns his nose up in the air and folds his arms. Heâs being haughty; he canât help it, even though he knows itâs a good thing that Yoongiâs band has avid supporters. Good for him, good!
He returns his attention to the stage, where Namjoon is striding out with a dimpled smile that has Jungkook hooting and hollering with thunderous applause. His enthusiasm is contagious enough to make Jimin grin and shrug off the zealous fans in the theater.
âHello,â Namjoon says into the mic.
Jungkook makes an awed noise and whispers to Tehyung and Jimin, âSee that? Emcee of the year.â
Taehyung hums and clears his throat. ââHelloâ. There. Am I emcee of the year material yet?â
Jungkook elbows him with a cackle. âYou lack dimples.â
After finishing his opening ment, Namjoon introduces the first performer, a traditional Korean dance troupe, and the showcase begins.
Itâs a pretty decent setlist. At one point a K-Pop dance cover group did âThose Thoseâ by Sigh feat. Gloss, and the entire theater went wild.
Itâs all well and smooth, except maybe until the sixth performer is called, and while waiting for the performance to begin Taehyung half-whisper, half-exclaims, âOh. Is that Jin-hyung?â
Jiminâs gaze slides to where his friend is pointing.
âWhoâs that beside him?â asks Jungkook.
Taehyungâs eyebrow furrow together as he squints to get a closer look at the woman with a neat ponytail, not a stray hair in sight. A second later, he visibly pales. âThatâs hyungâs eomma.â
Jimin makes a startled noise, mind already racing to a hundred conclusions. âWhoseâŚ?â
Taehyung meets his eye. âYoongi-hyungâs eomma. She used to be a singer.â
Wouldnât Jimin know. He should have recognized her, but the dark hall isnât helping and besides, she looks a lot harsher in real life than the portrait heâd once seen hung in Yoongiâs home in Daegu.
Throughout the 6th performance, Jimin fidgets & observes.
Yoongiâs mother and Seokjin sit about 3 rows away, but from what little Jimin can see, already he can tell that there is something uptight about Mrs. Min, with the way sheâs sitting upright and perfectly still as a statue.
âDoes she know that Yoongi-hyung is in a band?â Jimin leans in to whisper to Taehyung.
His friend shrugs, gaze darkening. âI donât know why sheâs even here. She never turns up to hyungâs events.â
âAlright, and now for the stage youâve all been waiting for!â Namjoon announces.
As soon as he walks offstage, the stage lights blackout. The crowd roars. A low buzz kicks up in the air. Against his better self, Jimin feels the audienceâs excitement sink into his skin and make his heart pound.
A spotlight blooms in center stage, and a guitar starts riffing.
At the sight of the full band onstage, the audience goes berserk, and everyone starts to stand while clapping their hands. Jiminâs ears ring with the force of their cheers, but he does the same. After the song ends, the lead singer, DK, raises a hand.
âHey, guys!â
The audience hoots in response, every eye in the theater glued to the singer. Well, almost every eye.
Jiminâs searching gaze sweeps the stage until he finds Yoongi behind the keyboard, his cheeks flushed, his head down in a shy smile. Heck, his naturally floppy hair is /permed/.
Jimin feels his jaw drop. There are silver earrings dangling from Yoongiâs earlobes, and the sparkly little blue jacket heâs wearing should have looked cringe but somehow /doesnât/. Suddenly Jimin forgets what they were arguing about at all last night.
âOur next song is a cover of one of our favorite artists,â DK drawls into the microphone. âItâs for anyone out there having a hard time. Remember, youâre never alone. Letâs go.â
The music begins with the keyboard. Jimin watches, transfixed, at the way Yoongi controls his sound.
âLights will guide you home,â DK songs as the chorus hits, âand ignite your bones.â
Jimin blinks up at the stage lights, the way it glitters against Yoongiâs skin.
At the same time, Yoongi looks up & by some miracle, finds him in the crowd, mouthing, âAnd I will try to fix you.â
/Oh/, Jimin thinks, his heart squeezing as though itâs being pinched.
For 3 whole years he hadnât had a place to truly call home, and heâd worked his ass off to return to South Korea just to feel Korean again.
That day on the plane back to Seoul, the cityâs lights welcomed him.
Jimin closes his eyes as he lets the song wash over him, wash away his fears and troubles even for only a few moments. When the song reaches its peak instrumental riff, Jimin swipes at his cheeks, only for his fingers to come away wet.
Thatâs when he realizes that thereâs a hand reaching for his, and a weight pressing down on his other shoulder. Jimin blinks and finds his hand cradled in Taehyungâs larger one, while Jungkook is quietly leaning his head on his shoulder.
Meanwhile onstage, Yoongi plays for him.
Itâs almost as if all those years of pointless, overwhelming loneliness are being compensated for now. Jimin breathes in the universeâs apology and thinks, /I might just be okay./
The song ends. DK takes the mic again and says, âUnfortunately, weâve almost reached the end of our set!â
The crowd awwwâs.
DK chuckles, glancing around his bandmates. âAnyway this final song was written by our keyboardist, dedicated to a longtime friend. Hereâs âSummer Rainâ.â
As the tune fills the auditorium, Jimin lets out a tiny, quiet sob of the oddest mix of a the deep ache of gratitude and⌠humility.
Humility, stemmed from the Latin word âhumusâ, meaning âearthâ â thatâs what Yoongiâs song is. Stable ground to walk on, tethering Jimin steady.
Who would have known that a melody so unassuming and gentle could be this intense? That devotion itself, at its most bare, would be humbling rather than pompous? Jimin would like to race down these aisles, to jump onto the stage and kiss Yoongi senseless right then and there.
Yoongi glances up then, looking out across the auditorium as though in search of a certain face. Against the glare of the stage lights, his gaze finds Jimin.
Time slows. Despite the distance between them, they smile at each other in full friendship, and perhaps yearning, too.
And if Jimin had been blind for ages, now it all becomes so painfully clearâthat the attachment and adoration heâs been nursing for Yoongi was never just friendly, that he never would have been satisfied with being just remaining platonic.
/Does he see it too?/ Jimin wonders.
As the finally chords of the song peter out, Jimin and Yoongiâs eyed remain locked, audience be damned. The cherished and the cherisher, each one both at the same time.
Then the thunderous applause yanks Jimin back to the present and he sees the moment Yoongiâs gaze breaks away.
Away from where Jimin and his friends are standing and towards a couple of rows down, to where he catches his older brotherâs face in the crowd. Seokjin is standing along with the others, applauding.
Then Jimin sees it happen as though in slow motion: Yoongi spots his mother.
His face pales, and his hands drop from the top of his keyboard to his sides. Meanwhile, as the audience claps, his mother turns with a huff & begins weaseling her way out of her seat down the row.
âThank you for your time,â DK is saying into the mic, but Jimin isnât listening.
His attention is solely fixated on Yoongi. The keyboardist looks stricken, as though heâs just been threatened with a knife. Yoongiâs chest is rising and falling erratically, and just before the stage lights go pitch black, Jimin sees him quikly duck offstage in a mad rush.
The next few minutes rush past Jimin in a dizzying blur of trying to squeeze through the hyped crowd while keeping an eye out for the direction Yoongiâs mother had gone in. Her sleek, jet-black ponytail bobs through the crowd, towards the backstage area.
Dread curdles in Jimin.
âExcuse me,â he says amid a barrage of profuse apologies for blocking peopleâs views. âSorry, just tryna get past.â
âWhereâre you going?â Taehyung asks, tugging at the hem of Jiminâs denim vest.
Jimin glances back, barely able to keep a straight line of thought. âYoongi-hyung.â
The grip on his clothes loosens. Taehtung nods, frowning. âOkay. Iâll see you later?â
Jimin hums in response, already distractedly picking his way through the crowded aisles. He keeps an eye out for Mrs. Minâs trademark ponytail, and panics when he canât quite locate her.
it takes a few minutes to pass through the countless obstacles to backstage, but Jimin makes use of the chaos to sneak into a door marked âSTAFF ONLYâ, leading into a plain corridor marked with doors into smaller waiting rooms for the performers.
One of the doors are wide open.
Muted voices are flitering out from itâone lower, one higher-pitched. Jimin slows down and inches towards the door with his back to the wall, feeling like some kind of spy.
ââŚyou to come here.â
âAnd Iâm glad I did, because now I see what pointless things youâve been up to.â
Jimin creeps in closer to pokes his head in, but the 2 people in the waiting room are too immersed in their heated conversation to notice his presence.
âHonestly, Yoongi, you move to Seoul and start doing this- what, garage music? Itâs a far cry from the elegance of real music.â
âYou donât know what youâre talking about, my bandâs music isââ
âOh I sure as hell KNOW what Iâm talking about, Min Yoongi, you forget who youâre talking to,â says his mother, chin lifted high in the air. âAnd as a proper musician I say: this is futile. Itâs noise. Come back.â
Jiminâs brows furrow at the sight of Yoongiâs hands shaking, gaze trained to the floor. He needs to step in, somehow. But how?
âOr what?â Yoongi challenges in a quiet voice. âWhat will you do? Hit me? Iâm not some child you own anymore.â
âYou rottenââ
âHYUUUNG!â Jimin cries.
He schools his face into a euphoric, fanatic expression &âquite literallyâstumbles into the waiting room after tripping over a stray chair leg. âHyung, that was suuuuch a great performance!â
Yoongiâs features grow mystified. âJimin?â
âLOVED the vibe!â Jimin throws his hands up.
Shimmying his hips in the air, Jimin ignores the tense drumbeat of his pulse. âThat first guitar riff? A banger! Second song? Swoony. Last song? My favorite. Ah, Blue&Grey seriously makes people so happy. Isnât that what music is all about? Touching people? Your song moved me.â
Yoongi stands frozen, staring at him with a mixture of shock and bewilderment, and Jimin laughs and turnsâ
âOh? Who are youâŚ?â He feigns ignorance in front of Mrs. Min, purposely blowing his eyes into round circles. Then he points at the door. âI think this is students-only.â
âYoongi,â his mother says in a warning tone.
Jimin lets out his own pitchiest, curious whine and makes a show of pulling out his phone. âWaaah. Maybe I should contact Namjoon-hyung to tell him to tell security that suspicious strangers are in restricted areas!â
Mrs. Min huffs.
With a final, snide glower in Yoongiâs direction, she turns and stalks out of the waiting room, her heels click-clacking in staccato down the corridor. Jimin creeps towards the door, looks out to make sure the coast is clear, before quietly closing it for privacy.
When he turns around to look at Yoongi, he finds the elder crouched to a squat on the floor, hugging himself, his breaths coming in and out raggedly. Jimin watches the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders as he attempts to self-soothe.
âHyungâŚ?â
âJust. Go,â Yoongi pants.
He looks so small, curled in on himself like that. A wounded animal tending to its own wounds. Jimin leans back against the door, unable to move forward but unwilling to just comply, either. âHyung, is there anything Iââ
âGo,â snarls Yoongi. âYou can help by leaving me alone.â
gotta go for now since i have chores but hereâs a poll: should jimin oblige?
Jimin can do nothing but stand and watch his precious person tremble against himself, barking if he so much as hears footsteps approaching him.
Itâs heartbreaking. Jimin has never felt so near yet so useless, unable to help the only way he knows: physical affection.
âOkay,â he decids, inhaling deeply. He twists open the doorknob and gingerly slips outdoors. âIâll be seeing myself out.â
He lingers for a few seconds, but those crucial moments are all he needs to note the way Yoongiâs form stiffens, his head jerking as if to listen closely.
Jimin feels his expression grow severe as Yoongi drops his head to his knees as though in defeat. But he doesnât get to say more because the door is already closing.
Out in the hallway, Jimin leans against the closed waiting room door, mind churning in different directions.
/I could go,/ he thinks bitterly. After heâs been so coldly turned away, Jimin ought to comply and return to the audience.
But the look of defeat in the line of Yoongiâs deflated shoulders flashes back in Jiminâs mindâs eye. He shakes his head.
How could he ever leave so easily?
This is Yoongi theyâre talking about. Yoongi who had so gently cared for Jimin even when he was a delirious, babbling, feverish mess. Yoongi whoâs always been a steady support for others, but barely got a taste of what itâs like to be supported.
An idea pings in Jiminâs mind.
Earlier heâd passed by a vending machine in the corridor. He digs into his pockets and grins at the jingle of coins in it.
Making sure the door stays locked, Jimin skitters down the hallway and pauses in front of the glowing vending machine, humming with electricity.
He picks out a canned orange juice and jogs back to Blue&Greyâs waiting room just as heavy footfalls and the sounds of laughing start coming from the backstage end of the hallway. Jimin squeaks when the other Blue&Grey members appear.
âNo!â Jimin dashes to block the roomâs door.
âOh?â HueningKaiâs eyebrows jump. âHey, itâs you! Jiminie?â
âIs Yoongi-hyung inside?â asks Hajoon, twirling his drumsticks.
Jimin gulps and spreads his arms out, barricading the waiting room door. âYesâŚâ
Yeonjun tilts his head with a hum, mystified. âIs he okay?â
Jimin bites his bottom lip. âI⌠I donât think heâs doing well.â He doesnât want to be the one to bring up Yoongiâs family, so he skips it out. âMight be nerves. He looks a bit shaken. Iâm gonna come in and pass him this drink.â
âJimin,â says DK. âHe might be better alone.â
âI know,â Jimin says, against the desperate cry in his lungs to acknowledge the fact. âI just⌠I canât leave him again anymore. Excuse me for a sec.â
He turns the doorknob and slips into the quiet room, where Yoongi is hiding behind a couchâs armrest, hugging himself.
âHyung.â
At the sound of his voice, Yoongiâs head snaps up. He turns to Jimin, eyes wide. âYouââ
Wordlessly, Jimin picks up Yoongiâs hands to press the drink into his palms. He squats to see eye-to-eye with him. âHere. Drink.â
When Yoongi does nothing but stare in shock, Jimin sighs.
He eases the can from Yoongiâs grip to open it for him with a hissing âpop!â, then presses it back into his hands. Dusting off his jeans, he stands. âTake your time. Iâll be outside if you need.â
But before he can turn away, Jimin feels a soft tug at the hem of his jeans.
Jimin glances down. Yoongi is holding onto the hem of his heans, his brows drawn together as if heâs having a hard time explaining his behavior.
Itâs almost hard to believe this is /his/ Min Yoongi on the floor like this. His strong, ever-dependable hyung laden in vulnerability.
Jimin adores him with his entire, bruised heart. Sighing, he bends down and pulls Yoongi up by the arms. âHey. Itâs okay.â
âThis is fucking pathetic, yeahââ
âHyung.â Jimin shushes him as Yoongi stands. Pushing back his bangs from his forehead, he plants a light kiss there.
Yoongiâs eyes flutter closed, and for the first time since Jimin walked into the waiting room, he finally lets out a long, steady breath. Jimin pulls him close and cradles his cheeks, murmuring encouragements into his ear.
âI love your music so much. You were wonderful.â
Yoongi gives a shuddering breath this time, letting his head fall forward into the juncture of Jiminâs neck. He likes to do this, Jimin notes now. Likes to bury his face into Jiminâs neck, like itâs some sort of safe space from the worldâs cruel scorn.
âI was scared you left.â
Jimin chuckles and rakes his fingers over the back of Yoongiâs head. Yoongi has always acted so independently, with wisdom & maturity beyond his years, that Jimin often forgets heâs the younger brother in his family. In hindsight, heâs a little bit of a baby.
âBaby, I wouldnât.â
Yoongi stiffens and draws back to shoot Jimin a look so puzzled that Jimin cackles in his face.
ââCause thatâs what you are.â He uses his index finger to boop Yoongiâs nose. âA giant baby.â
That earns hin a nose scrunch from Yoongi. âDisgusting.â
Jimin scoffs. âInfant. Fetus.â
Yoongi groans out loud & hides his face in Jiminâs neck again. This time round, Jimin feels the heat from Yoongiâs cheeks seeping against his skin.
With a laugh, he lifts Yoongi off the floor and twirls them around once, twice. âDonât be shy now~â
âYouâre asking for murder.â
Eventually their giggling dies out, and Yoongi regains his balance on the floor, still locked in Jiminâs embrace. They stand in the middle of the waiting room, breathing with their foreheads against each other.
Yoongiâs eyes are closed, a frown making creases between his brows.
With one finger, Jimin massages to soothe the crease there. He whispers, âGood?â
Yoongiâs eyelids slowly blink open. Their gazes meet, and he nods. âGood. Iâm here.â His eyes roam lower to land on the necklace between Jiminâs collarbones.
He smilesâa beautiful, aching thing.
âYouâve got it,â he drawls, eyes bright and glassy with wonder.
Jimin nods, pride surging in him. He touches the guitar pick pendant. âMm. Iâve got you.â
A knock on the door has them springing apart. Yeonjun pokes his head in. âYo. Thought we heard laughter so Iâm checking in.â
Jimin tucks his hair behind his ears and straightens out his clothes, feeling like he just got caught doing something surreptitious. âUh, yeah. Allâs good now! Right, hyung?â
Yoongi, unlike him, is a picture if calm and collectedness, leaning against the couchâs armrest. âYeah.â
âOkay, great. Cause, umââYeonjun pauses and speaks to someone outside the room, over his shoulderââapparently thereâs a group of fans gathered outside the stage area right now?â
âOh.â Jimin shoots a look at Yoongi, who pales.
âYeah. Are you ready to face people, Yoongi-hyung?â
Stiffly, Yoongi answers, âI mean, if I have toââ
âWhat if you gave it a pass just for tonight?â Jimin pipes up, then grimaces. How dare he speak over what Yoongi wants? âNot that Iâm trying to tell you what to do or anything, sorry.â
âDonât be,â says Yeonjun. âHe has a point.â
Yoongi is quiet, eyes on the floor. For a moment Jimin worries heâll start spiraling down another hole where he canât reach him, but then Yoongi sighs and nods, relenting.
âAwesome.â Yeonjun hooks a thumb behind him. âThereâs another stage backdoor that leads out of the hall.â
It takes no more than a few minutes for them to get packed. The rest of the band members pour into the waiting room with understanding smiles, clapping Yoongiâs back with compliments about how well everyone performed. And then theyâre ushering Yoongi and Jimin out the door.
Down the corridor they fly, with Yoongi carrying his keyboard in tow. Before they open the backdoor that leads to the parking lot outside the auditorium hall, Jimin saysâ
âWait.â He tugs on Yoongiâs sleeve. âI have something to say.â
Yoongi sends him a blank look.
âIâm sorry.â
Yoongi narrows his eyes. âHuh?â
âFor being a brat last night. I didnât think Taemin would be such a sore spot, âcause I thought you guys got along well while he was here. Does talking about him make you insecure?â
Yoongi frown smoothens. He looks down, chuckling to himself.
Then, to Jiminâs surprise, Yoongi grabs his hand and intertwines them to plant a soft kiss to his knuckles.
âNot insecure, marigold.â Yoongi pushes open the backdoor, and moonlight comes filtering in, setting his face awash in silvery blue. He smirks at Jimin. âJust jealous.â
Ending this update on a good note for now! So much chaos awaits in the next update haha. Hope you had fun!
Also please consider getting me a cuppa kofi Iâll be using it to buy my textbooks this semester hehehe thank you in advance ilysm.
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
At some point, there comes along at least one person who makes you want to simply escape, and leave the rest of the world turning with careless abandon. Jimin never imagined that the person whoâd make him want to disregard time and space would be somebody heâs known forever.
As Yoongi leads the way to his car, Jimin trails along happily, fully content with watching the back of his hyungâs head. Thank heavens the parking lot is practically emptyâmost university students here donât drive. The Audi looms into view, and they part hands to hop inside.
They sit inside the car, neither one speaking, and itâs not until the engine roars to life that Jimin realizes he has no idea what theyâre doing, nor where theyâre headed.
âSo.â He clears his throat and folds his arms. âWhere to? Are you going home?â
Yoongi gives a long breath.
âDonât feel like it.â
Jimin nods, staring straight ahead. âUnderstandable. So, what do you feel like?â
His question is met with a long bout of silence. When Jimin turns, Yoongi is leaning back against the driverâs seat, something unhinged gleaming in his eyes.
âWhat?â
âWhat?â
âYouâre staring,â Jimin points out.
âWrong. I am actually thinking, and I just happen to be turned in your direction.â Yoongi adjusts his position and drums his fingers against the steering wheel.
âThatâs still called staring, idiotââ
âWanna grab a drink with me, Park Jimin?â
Jimin whistles lowly. âOooh. Is this gonna be our first adult hangout? What, you wanna go to Hongdae right now?â
âI was thinking more along the lines of a pub rather than clubbing,â Yoongi says. âHow good is your tolerance?â
âIâm alright.â Thatâs ONE good skill from Perth.
Jimin cocks his head to one side. âAnd you?â
âI hold mine pretty okay,â Yoongi says, nodsing as if to affirm his words. âMore into whisky, frankly.â
âAh, so youâre a man of class.â
âYou words, not mine, marigold.â
The nickname sends a delicious zing down Jiminâs spine.
He looks out the window to curb a growing smile, not wanting to look stupid in front of Yoongi. Jimin shrugs. âFine. You pick.â
âI know a bar near the river.â Yoongi shifts the gearstick and starts to drive out of the parking lot. âGreat night view. Live music, too.â
âFancy.â
âWhat can I say? Man of taste.â
Jimin scoffs and side-eyes him. âSurprise me.â
Itâs only a 20-minute drive down towards Ttukseom. For the most part, they donât talk, because Jimin is busy ogling the city lights dotting the inky skyline as they cross the bridge.
Yoongi parks at a spot near the river and points outside. Following his gaze, Jimin gawks at the sight of a big yacht floating by the river, lit with tiny fairy lights that glimmer against ther water lapping by the river banks.
âHeol. The barâs in there?â
âMm-hmm.â
A secret thrill rushes through Jimin at the thought ot âhanging outâ at such a fancy place. He hasnât had it easy in life so far, but perhaps his prospects are beginning to look up now. He feels like a K-drama lead, with a chaebol partner to boot. âHow are you just a student?â
Yoongi shrugs, smiling sheepishly. They step out of the car, and the doors beep closed. Just as Yoongi pockets his keys, he freezes. âAh.â
âHmm?â Jimin falls into step by him. âWhy?â
Yoongi pats around his jeans pockets and lets out a low curse. âMy wallet.â
Jimin blinks.
As if on cue, Yoongiâs phone vibrates loudly, and he pulls it out to answer an incoming call. âHey. Ah, yeah. Yeah? Iâll just collect it from you tomorrow at rehearsal.â He rubs the back of his neck. âThanks, man. Bye.â He hangs up and stares at Jimin. âSo, we have a situation.â
Jimin doesnât have to guess to understand the matter at hand. Leaning one hand on his hip, he hums pointedly. âLet me guessâleft your wallet at the waiting room?â
âI mean, itâs safe with Yeonjun, I could drive us backââ
âForget it,â Jimin waves good-naturedly. âItâs cool.â
He plucks out his own wallet from his jacket pocket. âHow much per person in this bar, anyway?â
Yoongi coughs out loud, mumbling something.
âCome again?â
âItâs uh. Minimum 100,000 won per pax.â
(!!!!) Jimin nearly drops his wallet to the ground. âHeol.â
He opens the flap in his wallet and pulls out two bank notes. âUnfortunately for you, my good friend, my broke ass here holds only a grand total of: 20,000 won.â
Yoongiâs expression looks so mortified and constipated that Jimin canât help but burst into high-pitched giggling.
Jimin latches onto Yoongiâs shoulders, draping both arms around him from behind to avoid doubling over from laughter. âAwww, donât look so sour now, hyung.â He turns and steers their bodies towards another directionâfacing a nearby convenience store. âHow about beer for tonight?â
The fluorescent lights beam down on their instant ramyeon cups, two cans of beer between them. Itâs a grand feast of a supper, courtesy of Park Jiminâs generous budget. For the most part, Yoongi is compliant, though the pink in his cheeks never quite fades.
Jimin, on the other hand, feels very much pleased at the chance to treat and splurge on his precious person. This much, he can do. He raises his beer can. âDonât look so embarrased, hyung. We can always go another time. Now, cheeeers!â
âAnother time?â Yoongi looks hopeful.
âYesss. If youâre looking for someone to have a fun time with, call me. Iâm always game!â Jimin splits apart his chopsticks and slurps up his noodles. âOr if you feel lonely and need someone to annoy you, call me too. If you need a rambler, Iâm here. Actually, call me whenever.â
Yoongi looks down with a soft scoff, busying himself with his own chopsticks. After gulping his own mouthful, he takes a sip of beer and says, âYou sound very free. You sure Hoseok wonât scold you for messing about while on shift?â
âItâs not messing about! Itâs /friendship./â
Yoongi stares at him in complete silence for a good long minute.
âWhat?â Jimin scratches the back of his head, willing his face to stop heating under such a piercing gaze.
Shaking his head, Yoongi takes a huge swig of beer, then opens another can.
Which is pretty normal, Jimin supposes, since Yoongi does tend to have his silent moments. With a shrug, he returns his attention to the cup ramyeon and wolfs down the rest of his meal. âAnyway, what I said earlier, I really meant it. You looked so cool onstage back there!â
And because Jimin wants to be /subtle/ and unassuming, he adds in with as much tact as possible, âThat last song really blew me away. You wrote it, right? Lyrics and all? Itâs almost like, I donât know, you wrote in dedication to a very specific person.â
âYeah, you.â
Jiminâs heart goes !!!!!!!! for the second time that night. Very softly, he says, âOhhh.â
Yoongi nods and slurps up the last of his soup, then downs the rest of his beer. He lets out a burp, mumbles âI ate wellâ under his breath, and then leans his chin on one hand. âYeah.â
Thereâs a furious flush to his cheeks, and his eyes are slightly glazed over, but heâs staring bullets into Jiminâs. He doesnât say a word, though.
âSo, umâŚâ Jiminâs neck feels warm. He twiddles his thumbs, batting his eyelashes. âThat song. Is for me?â
âYeah.â
âOhhhh.â
A sharp giggle bubbles up Jiminâs throat, which he tries to mask with a blank expression as he covers his mouth. âSo like. When did you write it?â
Yoongi hums and tilts his head to one side. âCanât remember. It was supposed to be a lullaby. But that would mean youâre asleep.â
Jimin giggles into his hand and tucks a couple of loose strands of too-long hair behind his ear. âA-and thatâs not good?â
âNot good,â Yoongi echoes, shaking his head. âItâs for you, so whatâs the point if you never hear it?â He reaches over and flicks Jiminâs forehead. âIdiot.â
âOw.â Scowling, Jimin rubs his forehead. Nothing at the moment can take away his floaty giddiness, though. He clears his throat, then moves his hands to trap them under his butt. âSo whyâd you write it?â
âBecauseâŚâ Yoongiâs gaze sweeps over him.
âBecauseâŚ? What inspired you?â
Yoongiâs eyes never leave his. âBecause you stopped shining, for a while.â
Jimin blinks, utterly taken aback. âHuh?â
âDid you know that marigolds wither and bloom again every- every year?â Yoongiâs words are more slurred than usual. âYeah. You looked so defeated, that day.â
Heâs offloading too much information all at once, and it leaves Jimin half-stricken, half-puzzled. âWhat day?â
âMany days.â Yoongi sighs and leans forward to rest his face flat on the convenience store tables. âMaaany days, Jiminie. And you hated me. So I couldnât do anything.â
/Heâs tipsy/, Jimin realizes. He wonders if Yoongi is aware of his own verbal comprehensibility at the moment. âYou know I couldnât have hated you even if I tried.â
Yoongi turns his head, still resting in the table. Jimin mimics his position so that theyâre facing each other.
âDid you feel like you had to bear it all alone, our Jiminie?â asks Yoongi, his tone serious but surprisingly childlike.
Jimin swallows. He nods once. To his surprise, Yoongiâs eyes start to glisten.
âWas it very heavy?â
Jimin rests a hand against Yoongiâs face. âJust a bit.â
Yoongi clucks his tongue and shuts his eyes, one tear escaping sideways down his cheek. âI fucking hate that.â
âMm?â
âWhyâd you have to get sick alone. Why were you running alone. Why didnât I realize sooner.â Yoongiâs brows furrow. âI missed you so bad I forgot to /see/ you.â
It shouldnât make sense and yet Jimin understands itâhow the act of missing can be such a selfish thing, a desire to fill a gap in oneself without regard for the other personâs well-being.
âI missed you too. I always miss you,â Jimin confesses, eyes misty. âEven now I still do.â
And since theyâre already on the topic, he adds, âI was scared earlier, too. Seeing you like that. I felt helpless.â
Yoongi gives a wry smile. âSo I guess now you know how I felt. Why I visited your cafĂŠ almost every day.â
Something mellows out in Jimin, making him sigh.
Yoongiâs left hand comes up to fiddle with the guitar pick pendant dangling from Jiminâs neck, now resting on the table. âI never thought this would see the light of day again.â
Jimin gives a wet chuckle. âThought you might appreciate it.â
âI love it,â Yoongi admits. âI loveââ
âExcuse me, hyungs!â A group of high school teenagers call out from a few feet away. âAre yâall done using the tables?â
Jimin jolts up, vaguely realizing that they are, in fact, getting tipsy and weepy in the middle of a convenience store. Before him, Yoongi sighs.
Jimin stands up with a small, apologetic smile as the high schoolers starting flocking around them, ready to claim the table. âShall we go for a walk?â
Yoongi grimaces and holds up an index finger. âDo you have enough for one more can?â
Jimin chortles. âYouâre impossible.â
So, about that powerpoint slide from years backâŚ
[PATREON]
âDear My Friend
⢠a little something thatâs been stewing in the back burner since DMF first started
⢠happy reading
link:
patreon.com/posts/70607027âŚ
Jimin would be lying if he said heâd only never forgotten Yoongi during his time abroad.
There had been stretches of time heâd convinced himself he was finally moving past the âbetrayalââdays, weeks even, when he wouldnât think of his childhood penpal, wouldnât wonder âwhat ifâ.
What if Jimin hadnât moved away, and Yoongi had stayed in Seoul, too? Would they have continued to be friends?
Somehow, Jimin has a feeling they would have found a way to break each otherâs hearts over & over, no matter the situation.
âYah, Mimi, why are you walking so slow?â
The old nickname jolts Jimin out of his sentimental thoughts so forcefully that he chokes on his spit. Catching up to Yoongi, whoâs kind of just ambling ahead with both hands in his pockets, Jimin wheezes, âAh, hyung! Seriously? You havenât called me that since we were /kids/.â
Theyâve left the convenience store for an evening stroll by the riverbanks.
âWhy, why, whatâs wrong with experimentation?â Yoongi challenges, his lips curling forward in a defensive pout. Jimin has to admitâthis is a side of his usually reserved hyung thatâs amusing to watch.
Jimin muffled a chortle and nods towards the half-full beer can that Yoongi is swirling in his hand, as if itâs a whisky glass instead of cheap alcohol. âSo much for being a hard liquor type of guy? Youâre already tipsy on beer.â
âListen, man. Whisky is whisky. Beer is beer.â
Jimin smiles to himself, locking away that piece of information in his memory. Maybe human tolerance for different types of liquor differs accordingly, or maybe his hyung is just unique. âIf you say so. So, what did you wanna do?â
Yoongi shrugs, mumbling under his breath.
âWhat was that?â Jimin cranes his neck, brows drawing together as he strains to listen.
ââŚskip pebbles,â Yoongi says, scratching his nose. âWith you.â He points to one section of the park that gives open access to the water. âThere.â
Jimin chews his bottom lip to stifle a coo.
Heâs already barely able to hold back from reaching out to pinch Yoongiâs cheek as it is. Nodding, Jimin slings one arm around Yoongi and gently steers him towards where he wanted to go. âOkay. Lead the way.â
âBut youâre already leading.â
âNo? Iâm following you, hyung.â
This part of the Han River park is less crowded. In the growing silence, the sound of lapping water accompanied by the singing of cicadas rises in the air. Jimin gathers a couple of stones and sits next to Yoongi at the riverbank steps.
âHere.â Jimin grins. âLetâs play a game.â
Yoongi tips his head to one side, peering at Jimin through his bangs. Theyâre getting longer again.
Jimin pours a small handful of stones into his hyungâs pale hand. âIf one of us manages to skip a pebble more than twice on the water, we get a pass. If it sinks, we say a truth.â
âHah. Easy. Looks like itâs honesty hour for you then, huh, Mimi.â
Jimin ducks his head and focuses on turning over the stone in his hand. âYouâre talking to someone who grew up in the port of Busan. Jungkook and I skipped stones all the time. Prepare to lose.â
âWeâll see.â
[a/n: yoonmin are sitting along the breakwaters like this]
Their turns are decided through a single round of rock, papers, scissors: Jimin wins, so without delay he tosses his pebble across the river. It bounces once, twice, thrice before disappearing.
âDamn. That was bad,â Yoongi teases.
Jimin makes a face. âStill a pass though. You?â
Yoongi does this little wrist warm-up by flopping his hand back and forth, makes a big show of loudly blowing hot breath against his pebble, then throws it into the river. It travels several meters further than Jiminâs⌠then sinks right into the water.
âHah!â Jimin cheers, pumping a fist in the air. âAh, hyung, at least try! This isnât a distance competition, come on now.â
Yoongi shrugs with a simple tight-lipped smile. He looks only half-alert, but still awake enough to /wink/. âGuess I lost.â
Jimin considers combusting.
Is Yoongi flirting, or is this some sort of tipsy boldness? He canât tell, so he doesnât comment. âOkay, well. Now you have to tell a true thing.â
âUh. The sun is a star,â deadpans Yoongi.
âAh, hyung!â
âBTZ is a Korean boy group.â
Jimin scowls.
âWhat, why? Facts are true.â
âNot like that,â Jimin whines, frowning so hard that Yoongi snorts at his expression. âOkay, how about this: winner asks a question and loser answers honestly.â
âYah, are you changing the rules?â
âYes, now get with the programme, hyung.â
Yoongi scoffs, cheeks flushed. âBrat.â
Jimin chews on his bottom lip, thinking. This is the best time to wiggle some information out of Yoongi, things he might not usually blurt out when fully sober. âOkay, you never explained butâwhat inspired your bandâs name? Blue&Grey?â
Yoongi huffs and tosses his hair back.
âIt means different things to different members,â he says matter-of-factly, his Daegu satoori slipping. âBut ultimately, we all agreed on it.â
Jimin nods slowly. âWhatâs blue & grey to you, then?â
Yoongiâs eye catches his, before sliding his gaze to the water. âFunny you ask.â
Jimin tilts his head inquisitively. âHuh?â
âDo you remember what you wrote me in your first few letters?â Yoongi looks down at the stone beneath his shoes, watching water slip and slosh through the rounded breakwaters.
Jimin shrugs. âIt was honestly so long agoâŚâ
âWhatâs your favorite color?â Yoongi asks.
Jimin blinks. Itâs been ages since he /picked/ a favorite color. Itâs something you do as a kid, or so he believes. âUm, maybe red? Black? Iâm not choosy.â
Yoongi chuckles lowly. âAwww. Too bad.â He looks at Jimin. âMineâs grey, Mimi.â
The combination of that childhood nickname and young Yoongiâs favorite color dislodges a frozen memory from Jiminâs mind.
/My favorite color is blue./
He stifles a small gasp with an abrupt cough.
âOh.â Jimin gulps and fixes his eyes on Yoongiâs ear studs. âBlue and grey, huh.â
Yoongi nods as Jimin puts his mind to work. If Blue is in reference to Jimin, then in Yoongiâs perspective, it could very well stand for, âYou and I.â
On a typical day Jimin would consider such a line of thought overthinking, but knowing Yoongi⌠it might hold water. âCool.â
Jimin is FAR from feeling cool and collectedâhis pulse is racing, palms sweating, and he wants to smooch Yoongi.
However.
He must not! He also canât sit on his hands right now because of the rough surface of the rocks theyâre on, so he opts for trapping them between his knees.
ââCoolâ?â Yoongi parrots, peering at Jimin from beneath his bangs with a tiny smirk. Jimin nods.
Yoongi chuckles, leans over, & nicks Jimin under the chin. âReally? Just âcoolâ?â
Jimin canât decide if he should be mad at that shit-eating, teasing grin. He nips Yoongiâs fingers.
âShit- ow, hey, thatâs foul,â Yoongi half-slurs in a whiney tone. He retaliates by wiping bis hands on Jiminâs sleeve. âDonât bite your elders.â
Jimin makes a face at him and proceeds to toss another stone. When it manages to skip more than twice, he gives a whoop. âPass again!â
Yoongi throws with an unsteady hand. As his stone vanishes below the water, he raises both hands in defeat.
âHah!â Jimin pounces at once. âSo. That one week at the cafĂŠ, while I was on shift. You kept turning up with different people.â He crosses his arms. âWere they dates?â
Yoongi snorts. âNope. Did youâŚâ He turns to Jimin, a glint playing in his eyes. âYou thought I was bringing dates to the cafĂŠ where you work?â
Jimin recoils a little, sheepish. âI thought it was a deliberate tactic to provoke me.â Ah, now that just came across as self-centered.
So he adds, âOr like, to prove a point.â
âProve what?â Yoongi asks point-blank.
/That you cared enough to try to make me jealous/. Jimin canât ever say that. Instead he comes up with, âThat you⌠that youâre a fruit.â
Pin.
Drop.
Silence.
Then Yoongi bursts into laughter.
And Jiminâs neck is hot with shame. âNaur, why- donât laugh at me!â
Yoongi reaches over and aggressively ruffles Jiminâs hair, before pulling him closer by the nape to bump their temples. âYouâre the worst, Park Jiminie. Never change.â
His low laughter is music to Jiminâs ears.
His response confirms two things for Jimin: one, that Yoongi is indeed of the rainbow variety, and two, that he wasnât trying to date around outlandishly in front of Jimin. Itâs a massive weight off his shoulders.
âOkay, okay. Cool. So what were they? Not to pry or anything.â
âYah, thatâs another question,â Yoongi warns teasingly. âGo throw your pebble.â
Jimin does & succeeds in getting a pass. This time, when Yoongi skips his stone, it manages to jump just a little over two times before disappearing.
âHah!â Yoongi points. âTwo and a half. My turn.â
âFine.â
Yoongiâs slightly bloodshot, inky dark gaze bores into Jimin. âWhat did you miss the most about me, Park Jimin?â
Jimin gulps. Out of habit, his fingers fly to the guitar pick pendantâa gesture Yoongi doesnât miss. His hyungâs curious gaze drops to his neck.
Yoongi watches him, and Jimin watches him watching.
/Your voice. Your hands. The way your shoulders shake when you laugh, and your gums show when youâre genuinely happy. Your advice. Your jokes. Everything./
Jimin shrugs. âYour wacky humor.â He throws a pebble and passes.
âSeriously?â Yoongi retorts. âYou couldnât have said my fashion sense? My great hair?â
âHey. Being funny is a virtue.â Jiminâs pebble skips four times. âOkay, pass!â
Yoongi loses the round, which gives Jimin the green light to press on.
He decides not to waste his question on grilling Yoongi about the people heâs been bringing to the cafĂŠ. As long as theyâre not dates, Jimin is 100% cool. Instead, he asks, âHow did you know you werenât straight?â
Yoongiâs easy expression dims. He looks straight at Jimin.
âYou really want to know?â
Jimin nods.
âIâŚâ Yoongi pinches the bridge of his nose and tips his head back, thinking. âI asked a magic 8-ball, and it told me my fate.â
âAh, hyung!â Jimin whines, stomping one foot. âSeriously! Iâm not kidding. How and when did you realize?â
Yoongi lets out a long, amused-sounding exhale and leans back far enough until both his elbows are resting on the breakwater. He tilts his face up to the sky, eyes closed.
Jimin waves a hand over his face. âEarth to hyungâŚ?â
âI think itâs time,â Yoongi mumbles. He sits up.
âHuh? Time for what?â Jimin watches carefully while Yoongi fumbles around in his jeans pockets, his movements a little slow and sluggish, before finally pulling out his phone.
A few taps later, Yoongi nods. âThere. Check your email.â
âWhy?â
âI sent you some Google slides.â
[PATREON]
âDear My Friend
⢠a little something thatâs been stewing in the back burner since DMF first started
⢠happy reading
link:
patreon.com/posts/70607027âŚ
Jimin hums curiously. He reaches for his own phone, only to deflate. âAh. My phoneâs dead.â He pouts and shows Yoongi the black screen.
Yoongi clucks his tongue and throws his head back, face sour. âAaaack.â He rubs a palm over his face and slumps back in his elbows once more.
âWhy, why?â Jimin leans forward, eyes going round. âWhatâs on it? Whatâs it about?â
Yoongi parts the fingers covering his face to peer at Jimin through the cracks. âYouâll see.â
âCanât you just tell me?â
ââŚ.â
âHyuuuung.â
To Jiminâs surprise, Yoongi starts drunk singing.
âWhen it raaaains, I think of youuu,â Yoongi half-sings, half-drawls. He lies back on the rocks, which canât be too comfortable, but his cheeks are pink and thereâs a dopey smile on his face.
Itâs a song Jimin recognizesâRain Song by Epik High. He and Yoongi listened to this.
âI know this,â Jimin remarks thoughtfully. âItâs the song I heard when you lent me your earbuds at Everland, back when we didnât know each other yet.â
âIâm drinking too much today~â Yoongi raps in staccato, âMy heart seems to be unaware that my body canât take it~â
How fast time zipped by. Jimin can still vividly envision that day. âI canât believe we ran into each other, actually. Even after losing contact as penpals.â
âIf I try to hold the emotions in, they'll swallow me alive,â Yoongi sings, hands swaying upwards, reaching for the sky.
âSo donât hold them in!â Jimin teases, tossing one of his leftover stones in Yoongiâs way.
âItâs useless to blame me or you or this lonely weather~â
âI broke up with my girlfriend that day.â
âJust let me miss you wholeheartedly~â Yoongi sings before his voice goes quiet.
âWhat, whyâd you stop?â Jimin asks playfully, nudging Yoongiâs foot with his own. âJust continue your noraebang moment.â
âWhat about you?â Yoongi asks, muted. He sounds almost sober, suddenly.
âWhat about me what?â
âHow did you realize you arenât straight?â
Jimin freezes.
The singular, pivotal moment from three years ago floods him again, like a memory that never learned how to fade. Yoongi at the bus stop, eyes glassy with a quite ache that Jimin was sure mirrored his. The bus headlights. Jimin pulling him in by his hoodie strings.
His cold lips.
Any other instance and Jimin wouldnât have been as loose-lipped. But tonight Yoongiâs smiling so openly, and the moon looks like a silver plate, and what are the chances his hyung will remember, anyway?
âWhen I kissed you at the bus stop,â Jimin confesses hoarsely, eyes down.
He might be imagining it or overthinking, but heâs damn sure he can feel the heat of Yoongiâs gaze pinning him down, rendering all muscles frozen. âThatâs how I knew you were myâŚâ
âYour what?â
/Please/, he begs inwardly, /donât remember this tomorrow./ Jimin glances up.
âMy first love.â
Before him, Yoongi releases a shallow, shuddering exhale. He sits up and curls in, hugging his knees close and tucking his chin to his chest to hide his face.
Around them, the river water continues to lap by the banks.
âYou wereâareâmy first love,â Jimin says.
So many times Jimin had imagined saying this, but no scenario compares to how it actually is now. Now that heâs said it, the world seems to gave gone still, and itâs so deathly quiet inside his head. âHyung?â
Yoongi turns his head to face him, his cheeks burning scarlet. âYeah?â
Jimin nudges him with one foot. His voice is shaking. âSay something.â
âCome here, then.â
Jimin frowns, puzzled. âWhere?â
Yoongi opens his arms. âYou can sit in front, here.â He parts his knees to make space, which sends Jimin gawking.
Not that heâs about to refuse.
Gingerly, Jimin picks his way through the rocky breakwaters until heâs wedging into the space between Yoongiâs legs like a puzzle piece. Instantly, Yoongiâs strong arms wrap around him from behind, chin jutting out to rest on Jiminâs right shoulder. His body is a welcome warmth.
Theyâve never done this before, yet Jimin melts back in his hold like he was made to do this, natural as breathing. âHyung. You have beer breath.â
âMmm,â Yoongi hums by his ear.
Jimin turns his head to find Yoongiâs eyes closed. âDid you just ask this to use me as a cushion?â
Yoongiâs shoulders shake silently. âYouâre comfy.â
Jiminâs heart feels so full of air so light he thinks it might float out of its ribcage at any moment. âIs that all you have to say after Iââ
âYou know I love you, right, Jimin-ah?â Yoongi murmurs into the shell of his ear.
Good night for now, me is sleepy
Thanks for sticking around! Thereâs more yet to come.
If youâd like, please consider getting me a cuppa coffee. Money is real tight this month and writing is my main source of income at the moment fr thank you!
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Jiminâs breath stutters. Vaguely he wonders if he heard right, or if his secret pining has reached peak hallucination stage. But the swooping-stomach, heart-twisting ache in his body feels all too real of a reaction, and Yoongiâs cheek is warm against the juncture of his neck.
Too scared to jostle Yoongi, Jimin only manages to turn his face to the right ever so slightly, mind racing, tongue tripping. Was that confession for real? Whatâs he to say to that? Swallowing thickly, Jimin slowly parses through the jumble in his head to say, âHow could I have?â
âMmm.â Yoongiâs face is squashed into the column of Jiminâs neck.
âHyung.â Jimin lifts a hand to gently tap the back of Yoongiâs head. âSay it again. Did you mean it?â
âMmmmâŚâ
Jimin pauses. Twists a bit more to get a better look at Yoongi. âHyung?â
Yoongi groans sleepily.
At which point Jiminâs face wrinkles in an exasperated, silent whine. Unbelievable. How does one doze off in the middle of a confession? âI canât believe you right now, Min Yoongi. Hey, if you donât correct me, Iâll get ahead of myself and believe thatâs a romantic confession.â
He almost jumps out of his skin when Yoongiâs cool lips smack against the side his neck in a noisy peck.
âYah. Shut up,â Yoongi slurs, eyes closed. ââM tryna sleep.â
âAh, hyung!â
Ignoring his protests, Yoongi proceeds to nuzzle into the crook of Jiminâs shoulder, mumbling.
âOkay, okay,â Jimin soothes, half-annoyed, half-flustered as he pats Yoongiâs hair like a parent comforting a kid. âHell. Youâre just a baby when intoxicated.â
Just then, a loud buzzing fills the air, stealing Jiminâs attention.
âHyung. I think your phoneâs ringing.â
âMmm.â
âArenât you going toâŚ?â
âYou take it,â Yoongi mumbles. ââM not in the mood.â
Jimin huffs, but obliges anyway. âHyung, I swearâŚâ He pats around Yoongiâs jeans pockets and yanks out his phone to see Seokjinâs caller ID onscreen.
âHello?â
âYoongi-yahâ oh? Hello?â
âHi, hyung.â
âIs that you, Jimin?â Seokjin asks, and even on the line Jimin can hear the worry lacing his tone. âAre you with Yoongi right now?â
âUm, yeah?â
âThank God. Hey, Taehyung-ah! Jiminâs fine. Theyâre together.â A few seconds of muffled conversation pass. âJimin, where are you two?â
Jimin looks around sheepishly. âUh, weâre by the Han River park at Ttukseom.â
âAnd Yoongi?â
âHeâs next to me,â answers Jimin, glancing at the man in question. Yoongi is fully knocked out on his shoulder. âWe drove here but uh, I donât think either of us are fit to drive now.â
Seokjin blows out a breath. âOkay. Stay there, Hoseok and I will find you.â
âHoseok-hyung?â Jimin echoes.
âYes. Yah, you both got everyone worried. Hoseok came to campus with your little brother. Says you were supposed to pick the kid up after his HYPE audition.â
Shit. Jihyun!
Jimin hisses with a grimace, smacking his forehead. âCrap. That slipped my mind.â Come to think of it, he had a whole plan for the evening after the summer showcase ended, didnât he?
He and Chrysanthemum were supposed to meet, and then Jimin would pick Jihyun up from HYPE.
âHow kind of you to finally remember,â Seokjin remarks. âAnyway, send me your exact location. See you soon.â
Jimin sighs in disappointment; heâs been too irresponsible tonight. This is what happens when he lets himself get carried away by Yoongi. âOkay. See you.â
The call ends.
Jimin stares at the phone for a bit longer, a little distracted by the weight of Yoongiâs head on his shoulder. His heart does a backflip when Yoongiâs lockscreen turns up with a 2D art of dandelions in a garden.
âHere.â Jimin gingerly slips the phone back into Yoongiâs pocket.
Yoongi grunts, barely stirring. Up this close, his hair smells so ocean freshâhe must be using a minty shampoo. Unable to resist, Jimin leans in for a quick whiff, then pinches himself for being weird. He clears his throat.
âYou smell good,â he remarks casually.
âMmm. Thanks.â
âIâm in a lot of trouble âcause of you, you know?â Jimin mock-scolds, putting on a firm tone. âIâve been irresponsible!â
Yoongiâs shallow breathing is all that he gets.
âYou make me forget that thereâs a world waiting for me all the time,â Jimin sighs.
âMmm.â
âYou suuuuck.â
âMmm.â
âAre you you meant what you said? Just now,â Jimin gulps, âwhen you said you loved me?â
âMmm.â
ââCause I think Iâm in loveââ Jimin cuts himself off, bristling. It really IS cringey to say out loud. âI like you a lot, Min Yoongi. Liked you since we were kids, I think.â
âMmm.â
âDamn it, I canât believeââ Jimin groans and makes a scrunchy face. âAh, hyung! How can you knock out in the middle of such a moment? And now you canât even hear me out! I like you. I seriously like you, okay? I really hope you remember this or Iâll just wither.â
Jimin takes a deep breath, thinking. Then he closes his eyes witn a soft laugh. âOh, man.â He turns again to plant a gentke kiss to the crown of Yoongiâs head. âThe way you have me. Hyung, you have me chattering like a loon to a drunk man on the river.â He kisses Yoongiâs temple.
When he pulls back, Yoongi lifts his head by a fraction & squints at him through narrow, bleary eyes.
âAnd Iâm just letting you,â Jimin says, pressing his face close to boop their noses together, never mind the beer breath. ââCause youâve worked hard today, so do what you want.â
Yoongi sluggishly withdraws a fraction to look Jimin in the eye, and says in such a mangled jumble of words thatâs hardly coherent, âYou talk too much.â
Then, with his dopey, bracket-shaped smile, he leans in to kiss Jimin full on the mouth. âSo shut the fuck up.â
Itâs a split-second peck, the kind that a parent might do while sending off their children to school. Still, it catches Jimin off guard. His head backpedals, eyes fluttering in shock.
âEh?â He can practically hear the thunder of his pulse rushing in his ears. âWhat was that?â
Still grnning, Yoongi lowers his face into the crook of Jiminâs neck again, this time kissing the soft bare skin there. âChu~â
Jimim bursts into peals of laughter, bending over and slapping his knees. âNaur! Hyung I- holy shit.â His laughter tapers off into squeaky giggles.
âDue diligence,â Yoongi slurs, snaking his arms around Jiminâs waist. âYoucanhaveitback.â
âHOW are three cans of beer taking you out like this?â Jimin asks, tearing up with laughter.
âYou can take ME out.â
âIn a date way or romantic way?â Jimin plays along, smiling.
âForever way,â Yoongi answers through a yawn.
Ignoring the somersaults in his chest, Jimin pretends to think this through. âIâm not the best cook so weâd have to eat out, but Iâm kind of broke.â
âIâll cook,â Yoongi says, eyes closed. âWe stay in. Ihatepeople. Buh-butnotyou.â
If you told Jimin he would one day see his cool, mysterious favorite person babbling to him like a kid while they swap kisses by the Han River, Jimin would have laughed in your face at the absurdity of it all.
Right now, though, all he can do is chase Yoongiâs lips with his own.
Itâs a pretty sloppy one, far from any fairy tale-like smooch, because for one, theyâre both clumsy from the liqquid adrenaline, and secondly Yoongi keeps making unnecessarily loud, moaning sounds while nipping at Jiminâs bottom lip as if heâs /delicious/.
âMmmmmMMmMMmmmM.â
Which would have been sexy any other time, but at the moment Jimin canât help but break away, cracking up into mad giggles. âHyungââ His cuts himself off, cackling, then cups Yoongiâs face. âYou tell me to shut up but then YOU make weird noises.â
âTheyâre appropriate sounds.â
âBut not in public!â
âYousaid I- I can do what I want,â Yoongi sighs. âIâm tired and I want one simple thing, but now youârescoldingme.â
Jimin squeezes his eyes shut, holding back the aggressive-fond reflex kicking in him. âI hate you so much.â He pulls Yoongiâs head to a hug.
They fall quiet, with Jiminâs arms around Yoongi as his hyung leans half on his shoulder, half on his chest.
âToday was scary,â Yoongi admits into Jiminâs shirt. âEommaâŚâ He swears under his breath.
Jimin pats his back soothingly. âI know, baby. I know.â
âThanks, Mimi.â
âIt sucks I canât- canât control my reactions,â Yoongi says. âI pretend a lot butââhe shakes his headââIâm often not in control of things. Iâm scared of people.â
Jimin tucks Yoongiâs head underneath his chin and rocks them gently. âMin Yoongi, I know youâre sleepy, but listen.â
He takes the answering silence as a cue to continue, remembering the same words Yoongi once told him. âYou work hard. Harder than most I know. Social anxietyâŚitâs just part of who you are. I donât think itâs any monster to be afraid of, or to control or fight against. Just be.â
Jimin has been so preoccupied with coming to terms with himself and his own plights that itâs only now occuring to him to consider what life is like in Yoongiâs shoes. To be told to uphold a certain standard of perfection, to always have to live up to an unreachable expectation.
Jimin glances down at Yoongiâs hands, intertwined at his hips, & slowly extricates them from his body. Holding Yoongiâs hands in his, Jimin leans down to press soft kisses to each scarred knuckle. âThis is proof that you tried, hyung. And Iâm so damn proud of you for holding on.â
âIâm scared of letting people down,â Yoongi mumbles sullenly. ââSpecially you.â
Jimin scoffs. âI meanâweâve disappointed each other so many times over the years but Iâm still here, so where does that place us?â
Yoongi blinks slowly.
Jimin laughs. âIâm a little stupid for you.â
A car honks from behind. Jimin turns and flinches at the glare of headlights in his face. Itâs Seokjin, his head leaning out of their Audiâs driverâs seat. âJimin-ah! Get in.â
Jimin taps Yoongiâs shoulder. âTheyâre here. Can you stand okay?â
âNo problem.â Yoongi wobbles.
âYep, no, just as I thought. Come here, you big baby.â Jimin takes one of Yoongiâs arms and gingerly steers him off the breakwaters. âBe careful.â
As they pile into the backseat, Hoseok turns around in the passenger side. âYah, Jimin-ah. Why didnât you answer your phone?â
Jimin scratches the back of his head, squirming to snap his seatbelt on. âIt died, I need to charge it.â
âPass it to me,â Seokjin says, reaching for a charging cable plugged to the car. He glances behind. âHowâs Yoongi?â
Jimin glances down at Yoongi, head nestled in his lap.
As though sensing his gaze, Yoongi turns his head slightly, and his bloodyshot eyes crack open to peer up at Jimin blearily.
âHeâs safe,â Jimin says softly, not breaking eye contact. His right hands comes up to carress the soft hair on top of Yoongiâs safe. âTipsy, but safe.â
Yoongiâs eyes flutter back closed, leaning into his touch. With a muted grunt, he turns his head again to bury his face into Jiminâs stomach more comfortably.
Briefly, Jimin wonders if Yoongi might hear the wild fluttering setting off in his stomach from that gesture alone.
âDid he brag about his alcohol tolerance to you?â Seokjin says, turning into a lane. ââCause this kidâs got a wonky liquor intake. Sips whisky like juice but canât handle his beer. Somehow he thinks theyâre interchangeable.â
Jiminâs mouth twitches. âWell, he turned into a baby.â
âSounds about right,â Seokjin comments, glancing at them through the rearview mirror. âYou punks are lucky I have a spare key to the car. Otherwise who knows what wouldâve happened.â
âI⌠could driveâŚâ Jimin starts, but shuts up when Hoseok directs a withering glare his way.
âHowâs Jihyun?â He opts for switching the subject instead, all the while brushing his fingers through Yoongiâs hair.
Hoseok shrugs. âSeemed excited, but wouldnât say anything unless you heard it first.â
âHeâs a good kid,â Jimin says, stomach rolling. He should apologize later.
âDonât change the subject,â Hoseok says. Jimin grimaces. His cousin smiles so often it always gives him a whiplash whenever he gets upsetâitâs like a hundred eighty-degree switch from sunshine to thunderstorm. âWhyâd you just disappear after the show? You didnât let anyone know.â
âYeah, Taehyung and Jungkook came up to me looking for you,â Seokjin supplies. âThen we went to ask Yoongiâs band and they said you two went ahead.â
âWe werenât doing anything dangerous,â Jimin says, flushing scarlet as his mind recaps the nightâs events.
âStill. People worry.â
Jiminâs first instinct is to protest, but he resorts to shutting his mouth. Itâs uncomfortable being scolded like this when nobody has asked after his whereabouts for the past three years in Perth. So this is what itâs like to have people care about youâit can be annoying, too.
He supposes heâd rather be annoyed than lonely.
âHyungâs mum came into the backstage waiting room after the show,â Jimin explains sullenly, fighting back the urge to hug Yoongiâs head (and risk suffocating him).
âI couldâve sworn she said she needed the bathroom,â says Seokjin.
A tick works its way into Jiminâs jaw, making him clench his teeth. âWell. It wasnât too pretty, thatâs all I can say.â He glances down at Yoongi again, whose breathing has gone shallow and steady.
Seokjin falls quiet. âIt was worse when our families first moved in together.â
Jimin suppresses the urge to curl his fingers into fists, lest he accidentally yanks Yoongiâs hair. He sighs. âI can only imagine.â
The rest of their ride to Yoongiâs studio apartment is quiet, peppered with snippets of small talk mostly between Seokjin and Hoseok.
Together, he and Seokjin help to haul a staggering Yoongi in through the front door and onto his bed. Meanwhile Hoseok opens doors and light switches, clearing a path.
Jimin drops to the mattress with him, and squirms to unsling Yoongiâs arm from around his shoulder.
âYou know, youâre actually heavy,â Jimin says with a groan, rolling his shoulders back.
âMmm. Jiminie,â Yoongi mumbles, eyes closed. One of his arms lift into the air as if to reach for Jimin. âMimi.â
âAaand Iâll be outside,â Seokjin says. âHoseok, tea?â
Hoseok smirks. âSure.â
âWhy, why, why?â Jimin says, one hand outstretched in an involuntary response to Yoongi. Their hands find each other, and Yoongi tugs until Jimin is kneeling by his bed, making him giggle. âHyung, holy cow. How can you be this out of it?â
Yoongi cracks one eye open, smiling dopily. Even in the low light of his bedside lamp, the pink flush fanning over his cheeks is visible. Jimin must resist the urge to kiss his face! âLet me fetch you some water.â
He scuttles out of the room to collect a glass from Seokjin.
âThanks,â Jimin says as he accepts the little tray. Right before he turns, Seokjin calls his name.
âJimin-ah. My brotherâs an idiot, isnât he?â
Jimin pretends to look thoughtful. âYes.â
Seokjin cackles. âHeâs shit at expressing himself, but heâll come around. Donât worry.â
Jimin sure hopes so. Despite the seemingly large leap theyâve made over the course of the evening, he canât help but feel a smidgen of insecurity over the fact that most of it happened with Yoongi tipsy. Somethingâs not sitting well with him.
He returns to Yoongiâs room.
Yoongiâs already cocooned himself under the covers, making him look like a caterpillar lump in the glow of the bedside lamp.
âHere.â Jimin knees by the bedframe and taps Yoongiâs shoulder. âHyung. Drink before you sleep so you donât get a migraine.â
Yoongi stirs and sits up just long enough to take a few sips of water.
âFinish it,â Jimin says in a warning tone. âIâm not leaving until you finish one glass.â
At his words, Yoongi immediately puts the glass down and snuggles under the blanket. âSo donât.â
âAh, hyung!â
âJiminie.â
âWhat, what?â he all but barks.
âMy hands are cold.â
âAnd?â
One of Yoongiâs scarred hands slip out from beneath his blanket wordlessly. Jimin stares at it, half endeared and half aghast. âMin Yoongi.â
The guy in question only peers at him from under the blanket.
Jimin scoffs, smiling to himself as he takes Yoongiâs hand in his. âThis is gold.â What are the odds heâll ever see Yoongi this way again? âI NEED to record your shenanigans, wait.â He pulls out his phone and puts on the front camera, then leans in against the lamp to film them.
After checking to make sure the video is recording, Jimin grins and turns to Yoongi, coming closer so that theyâre almost face-to-face: Yoongi lying down, and Jimin kneeling by him. âYoongi-hyung. Are you drunk?â
âNah.â
âHow many fingers?â Jimin holds up four.
âIâm not blind.â
âThatâs not answering the question, baby.â
When Yoongi raises a middle finger at him silently, Jimin erupts into snorting giggles.
Unable to help himself, Jimin takes Yoongiâs other hand and kisses his knuckles. âCute.â
âIâm not /cute/.â
âOkay. So what are you?â
ââŚpretty.â
Jiminâs head falls against Yoongiâs shoulder, shaking in silent laughter. Oh, this video is going to be so fun to show his hyung once heâs sober. âLook at you. Maybe you should should drink beer more often. Youâre more fun.â
Yoongi only pouts, eyes unfocused. âIâm /fun/.â
Jimin pulls back, smile dimming as he recollects himself. He clears his throat. âHyung, about just nowâŚat the river⌠that was real, right?â
âAh.â Yoongiâs nose wrinkles. âWas it a dream..?â
Jiminâs head drops to the mattress as he groans. âI give up. We canât talk like this.â
Yoongiâs fingers crawl across the bed towards the pendant hanging from Jiminâs neck. He twiddles the guitar pick between his thumb & index finger.
Jiminâs breath catches, but all Yoongi does is tilt the guitar pick this way & that.
âTomorrow when you wake, call me?â says Jimin.
Yoongi blinks. âMm.â
âItâs just, I donât know. I feel like we should talk about this,â Jimin says carefully, gesturing to the space between them. âWhen you kissed me, it meant something, right?â
Yoongi hums. âYouâre stillâŚunsureâŚ?â
âYouâre tipsy. Weâll talk tomorrow, right?â
âJiminie.â Yoongiâs grip tightens around the pendant.
âHmm?â Jimin turns his head at the same time that Yoongi tugs him closer by the necklaceâs chain to capture his lips.
Jimin yelps, breath stuttering, but Yoongiâs eyes are closed, so he follows suit and kisses him back.
Which is how, framed against the glittering lights of the city skyline outside Yoongiâs window, Jiminâs fogotten phone camera captures two silhouettes trading slow, languid kisses in the room.
Yoongiâs hands slide under Jiminâs jaw, pulling him closer as he deepens the kiss.
Jimin braces his weight against 1 arm to keep from crushing Yoongi, smiling into their liplock. Heâd be lying if he said he never dreamed of kissing this mouth again, after that juvenile stint at the bus stop 3 years ago.
âMindeulle,â he whispers against Yoongiâs lips.
At the nickame, Yoongiâs fingers dig into the skin at Jiminâs nape and he chuckles in the middle of their kiss. Jimin pulls back, smiling despite himself, and pecks Yoongiâs cheek.
When he lets go of Jimin, Yoongiâs head drops back against the pillow, eyes closed in contentment.
Jimin huffs and runs a hand through his own hair. âYou owe me 500 won for that, mister.â
Instead of answering, Yoongi shifts to get comfortable, one hand still in Jiminâs. âDue diligence.â
âThatâs not how it works, but okay.â Jimin stands. âGood night. Talk to you tomorrow.â
âNight.â
As Jimin turns to go, Seokjin passes by him in the hallway to check in on his brother. As soon as he enters the room, Jimin hears Yoongiâs slurred voice exclaim:
âAh, Jin hyung, you know I love you right?â
Jimin halts, heart dropping.
Oh.
So that meant⌠nothing?
*strokes beard with evil laugh*
Thanks gor sticking around until here! I am officially broke for the final leg of month, so if youâd like to help support me with a cuppa latte, you know where to find my kofi
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Hoseok chokes on his tteokbboki, takes a few moments hacking and wheezing, then shoots Jimin a dirty look. âDude. Are you kidding me?â
Jimin gnaws on his bottom lip, jiggling one leg under the table. Around them, other customers in the tented street food stall call for orders.
(âAhjumma, one more pajeon here, please.â
âYes, coming!â)
Itâs much later at night, and rather than head straight home from Yoongiâs apartment, Jimin asked his cousin if they could take a slight detour. He canât help itâhe needs a fresh mind that wonât overthink.
âNo, seriously, âcauseââHoseok swallows his foodââgoing by that reasoning⌠Jimin-ah. Come on, Seokjin-ssi is his brother.â
âExactly!â Jimin insists. âWhich means, either Yoongi-hyung has a habit of professing love to anyone when heâs drunk, OR⌠Iâm just, Iâm a bro to him.â
âRight.â Hoseok nods. âCause bros totally make out by the river and then cuddle in the car after.â
Jimin flushes and pours another shot of soju down his throat. Heâs overthinking. Heâs being eaten up by his insecurities. So why canât he stop? âI should call him to double-check.â
âNah-uh.â Hoseok bats away Jiminâs hand thatâs already reaching for his phone. âWhat do you think youâre doing? Heâs asleep right now. Put that back down.â
âButââ
âTomorrow, when youâre both sober,â advises his cousin. âI know you want it all resolved now, but patience, Jimin.â
Jimin lets out a longsuffering sigh but obliges, pocketing his phone and leaning his head forward on the table surface. When he closes his eyes longer than a blink, all he pictures is Yoongiâs flushed cheeks, seconds before kissing him full on the mouth. âI just wanna make sure.â
âThat what?â
/That this isnât a mistake. Or a repeat of three years ago./
Jimin shrugs. When he straightens his spine, Hoseokâs probing gaze meets his.
âWhy are you in a rush, though?â asks his cousin.
Jimin massages his temples. âBecause Iâve already waited my whole life.â
Hoseok sits back, watching him cautiously. âWhy did you never tell him before, then?â
Jimin runs a palm over his face. ââCause Iâm a loser. I wasnât aware. And then I wasnât sure. He was- was always /there/, and then not, and now that heâs back in my life I justâ canât fuck up.â
He thinks of Yoongiâs demeanor, how strong and laid-back he looks on the outside, and yet how easily bruised he actually is. Easy to ward off andâ
âand lose forever. How could Jimin NOT fret? âYou donât understand, hyung. Youâve never fallen for a friend.â
Hoseok falls silent.
Thereâs a look that crosses his eyes, uncertain and conflicted, and something about the way Hoseok averts his gaze at the statement has Jimin leading forward.
âUnlessâŚâ Jimin narrows his eyes, recounting the small touches heâs been witnessing between his cousin and Taehyung.
âAh.â For once, Jimin momentarily forgets his own anxieties and rests chin over one palm; smirking. âSo, you and Tae?â
âNah, no. No.â Hoseok down a shot. âNothing like thatââ
âBut you like him,â Jimin supplies.
Again, Hoseok refuses to meet his eye. âHeâs something else.â
âTaehyungâs a great guy,â Jimin says. âAnd itâs obvious he has a crush on you. Whatâs not to like?â
Hoseok scratches his nose, eyes trained on his plate of tteokbboki. Itâs a while later when he says, âI donât know if Iâd bring any value to his life. Or if heâs even serious.â
âOf course he isââ
âAaaah, anyway!â Hoseok says, wrangling both hands in the air to signal a request to move on. âAnother time, Jiminie, you know I like to turn in early. You should rest, too. Itâs been a long day. Câmon.â
Jimin can only sigh helplessly. âFine.â
/Tomorrow./
Itâs only much later, tucked under the covers, that Jimin remembers to send a follow-up apology to Chrys for failing to meet up with him (again).
[blooming bud]
hey!!
sorry for bailing, something came up
I forgot to text you
Iâm so sorry
did you wait long?
No reply. Fair enough, Jimin surmises, yawning as he glances at the corner or his phone screen. Itâs 2:43amâhis counselor is probably asleep.
He tucks his phone under his pillow & closes his eyes, willing his frenzied heartbeat to calm down until he drifts off to dreamless sleep.
As soon as daylight presses against his eyelids, Jimin shoots up in bed and fishes for his phone, scrolling for new notifications. There are a few from various group chats, but nothing from Yoongi, nor his counselor.
Jimin supposes he can take initiative.
[jimin of the park]
good morning hyung
hope youâre not having a hangover
He presses âsendâ, then anxiously waits the next few minutes. When no reply arrives, Jimin checks the time. 8.52am. That makes sense. Yoongi must still be asleep.
His phone buzzes, making him jump.
Itâs from the groupchat.
[nam of the june]
so
are we renting a vehicle in jeju tomorrow?
Jimin hums quietly.
Right. The summer trip to Jeju.
[Hobi]
yeah
iâll drive
[not eatjin]
weâre heading to Daegu today
will join you guys after our visit!
catch yâall in a few days
Jimin inwardly bemoans the situation, falling back on his pillow. Heâs completely forgotten about Yoongiâs hometown visit! Great, now heâll have to wait even more just to finally see him again, to speak with him, bask under his gaze and maybe press closerâ
His phone vibrates.
[chrys]
hey.
itâs cool, donât worry about it.
I kinda got distracted myself so
no issue there
Jimin heaves a sigh of relief. Hopefully Chrysanthemum isnât just being polite.
[blooming bud]
ah⌠okay
glad to hear that!
if youâre free by any chance
want to meet today instead?
[chrys]
sorry
no can do
going back to visit my folks for the hols
Jimin blinks down at his phone screen. Huh. Seems like a lot of students are returning to their hometowns for the summer.
[blooming bud]
ohhh
just like a friend I know ă ă
have fun!
[chrys]
hbu?
any plans?
[blooming bud]
jeju
mainstream, i know
[chrys]
ACTUALLY
iâm gonna be there next week
[blooming bud]
wait omg iâll be there too
how about we
[chrys]
do you
[blooming bud]
yeA
letâs just meet there lmao
[chrys]
damn. coincidence much
but ok. call.
[blooming bud]
call.
Well. At least thatâs one reason to smile at his phone. Jimin rests it against his chest, relief coursing through him at the thought that he /didnât/ let Chrys down by bailing on him last night in order to be with Yoongi.
Yoongi who, as of this moment, has yet to reply.
Which is fine, Jimin supposes, since Yoongi isnât exactly the quickest of texters. Jimin grunts in growing frustration and scrolls through other unopened notifications from last night, trying to keep his mind distracted.
Which is when he finds the email with a Google drive link.
Yoongi sent it last night, didnât he? While muttering under his breath.
Too bad Jimin wasnât able to open it right away since his phone was dead.
Nowâs a good a time as any. Jimin taps the link, but scowls when a new pop-up appearsâ
[PERMISSION REQUIRED: REQUEST ACCESS?]
Jimin pouts and sweara under his breath, but taps the ârequest accessâ button onscreen anyway. Great, and now heâs gonna have to wait for Yoongi to grant him permission. Why, oh why, did he send the link instead of sharing it?
Whatever. Jimin decides not to waste any more timeâthereâs much to prepare for the tripâand hops out of bed.
At that moment, his phone buzzes again.
[dtownbeats]
jimin
call me?
Jiminâs throat constricts. Yoongiâs awake.
At the same time he clocksâ
Not even a âgood morningâ.
âOkay, calm down,â he tells himself, swiping on the Kakao app to find Yoongiâs profile. He should have gotten the guyâs number by now, but itâs just so easy to rely on Kakao and the IDâs many functions.
Yoongiâs phone rings twice before the call connects. Jiminâs pulse surges.
âHey,â he says, a little breathless, a lot jittery. His palms are clammy against his phone case.
âJimin-ah.â Yoongi sounds distracted, and heâs breathing hard, like heâs physically exerting a lot of energy. âListen, Iâm a bit busy packing for Daegu, but um, I. I, uhâŚâ
Jimin jumps on the chance. âAre you hungover?â
Scratchy noises, then, âNo.â
Hope spreads through Jiminâs ribs, making him hold his breath. âLast nightââ
âLast night,â Yoongi cuts, âwasnât supposed to go like that.â
Jimin feels his breathing freeze. His hands go cold. âHuh?â
âYeah, yeah. Jiminie, listen. I didnât mean for it to go that wayâŚâ
Yoongiâs words fade into a kind of noise that seems to grow a life its own, pinching and prickling Jimin from the inside out. The nerves building up in him spill over as hot tears, and his ribs feel crushed.
ââŚand, you deserve better than that, so let me justâ huh, what was that, hyung?â Yoongiâs voice turns muffled, the speaker distant from his mouth, âokay, yeah. Anyway. Jiminie?â
Jimin canât even swallow. âMm?â
âWeâll talk about this in Jeju, okay?â
Yoongi is being too polite.
Even while rejecting Jimin, he manages to be gentle and accommodating. As much as Jimin wants to hurl every shard of his shattered heart at him, he canât bring himself to try, because Yoongi is a friend.
And it looks like thatâs all heâll ever be.
A drunken mistake. Thatâs all.
So Jimin musters the last of his remaining face, and finds his voice. Brittle, but itâs better than nothing. âYeah.â
âUhâŚâ Yoongi sounds dubious, but doesnât press. âSee you then. Text me whenever.â
ââŚokay.â
ââKay. Gotta to. Bye!â
The line goes dead. Jiminâs vision blurs.
[blooming bud]
he broke my heart
[chrys]
wtf
not to be that guy but
i told you, red flag
[blooming bud]
fuck off man
i hope things are better for you at least
[chrys]
iâm trying to fix things
thanks for asking
see you in jeju
[blooming bud]
ugh
at least thereâs that
seeya
Lo and behold, Yoongiâs POV for my lovely Patrons thank you for the constant support!
READ:
patreon.com/posts/71265509âŚ
The thing is, it makes perfect sense.
He and Yoongi had never actually, well, acknowledged that there was something more than friendship to what they have going on, whatever it is. Hell, theyâve never even HAD a talking stage like most couples doâjust constantly toeing the line.
Furthermore, Jimin has always been a physically affectionate person, so itâs likely that Yoongi hadnât taken any of his âhintsâ as anything more than casual brotherly affection. Which is sad, but perfectly rational.
Jimin would like to think there is reason behind all this.
See, the Old Jimin (i.e him from earlier this year) would have been absolutely devastated at such a blatant rejection.
But New Jimin fights to remind himself that even without romantic connection, he IS still loved by Yoongi, and his friends, and has support from Chrys.
And so:
He spends majority of their flight to Jeju Island on his phone, scrolling through self-help articles and then listening to insightful advice from TikTok self-healers. Itâs a wonderful distraction and honestly, after bawling his eyes out last night, Jimin is convinced heâs fine.
So yes, Yoongi has recanted his âconfessionââJimin can accept that. But Jimin tells himself his feelings are valid, because Yoongi is a wonderful person whom he canât hate after all. At the same time, rejection doesnât mean Jimin isnât WORTHY.
âUh,â Jungkook fumbles. âYou okay?â
Jimin hiccups, then pulls his gaze away from the airplane window. âHuh?â
âItâs justâŚâ Jungkook makes hazz hands, a constipated look on his face. âYouâve been sniffling and sighing the whole flight.â He turns to Namjoon on his right. âHyung, you got a tissue?â
âNo, no. Itâs fine,â Jimin splutters, fingers absent-mindedly swiping at his cheeks and holy moly, are those TEARDROPS? Shocking. âItâs justââhe fans his face and looks out the windowââthe view is pretty and I have so many feelings about it.â
Jungkook glances out the window.
âHmm. Pretty clouds,â quips Namjoon while handing a packet of tissues to Jungkook, who then places it in Jiminâs hand.
Jimin nods and blows his nose into a tissue. âYeah.â
Jungkook grunts and takes out his sketchpad, mumbling something about capturing the view âfor hyungâ.
Any other time and Jimin might have felt compelled to open up about Yoongi to these two friends, just like they used to in that alley across each otherâs houses long ago.
But theyâve been looking forward to this Jeju trip all semesterâJimin canât bear to weigh the mood down.
He turns to peek behind them, where Hoseok and Taehyung are seated, slumped against each other while napping.
Yeah, this trip should be one filled with only good memories.
He manages a small smile & ruffles Jungkookâs hair, then leans back against his seat and closes his eyes.
Traveling around Jeju is easier with a car than by public transport, so the first place they look for after collecting their bags is a car rental booth.
Jimin yawns, rubbing his eyes and tuning out the ongoing argument about how Namjoon-Cannot-Be-Trusted-With-Vehicles.
Since theyâll be on the island for 5 days and Jungkook doesnât have a license yet, the role of driver will be swapped among Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok. They opt for a larger van, since Seokjin and Yoongi will be joining from Daegu andâ
Ah.
Jimin will have to face him again.
He groans and looks out the rear window, mind churning. In his dramatic little post-rejection grief, heâd forgotten about it.
The Google articles advised that no-contact is always a good way to go, but how does Jimin do that when Yoongi matters too much?
As if on cue, his phone vibrates with a new text message.
/Speak of the devil/, Jimin thinks, heart skipping a beat despite the fog of despair clouding his thinking.
[dtownbeats]
mimi
good morning :]
Jimin makes a sour face. How is Yoongi acting this civil? Heâs too good.
He slams down his phone on his lap and looks into an imaginary camera like heâs in The Office, which catches Jungkookâs attention.
âWhy, why?â Jungkook says, lips jutting out in his pouty stubborn kid way. âWhat goes on?â
Jimin shakes his head and grits his teeth. âIrony.â
Itâs the way Yoongi is texting him like all is good, as if he didnât just give Jimin a total ultimatum a day ago.
A strong wave of annoyance and helplessness threatens to engulf Jimin, and he tries to calm his angry, thumping heart with a deep breath.
/I canât do this./
[blooming bud]
hi
are u alive
how do u deal with someone who still texts u after rejection u
[chrys]
hello
damnâŚheâs still at it?
sorry but he has some nerve.
block him
[blooming bud]
:o
but weâre friends
[chrys]
just donât reply then.
do it for your sanity
And Jimin almost does it. Lets his thumb hover over the âblockâ button, then decides not to reply instead.
This does not seem to bode well with Yoongi.
[dtownbeats]
:<
did you reach jeju safely?
Jimin stares at the new messages and suppresses the urge to eat his fist.
There is no choice. Jimin mulls it over for five minutes, before eventually deciding to press the âblockâ button.
âAnd weâre in Seogwipo!â Hoseok announces. âJust gotta park in our accommodation now.â
Jimin sighs in relief, pocketing his phone, and watches the scenery whiz by.
Seconds later, Taehyungâs voice cuts through the white noise in Jiminâs blank mind.
âOh? Yoongi-hyung, why?â Taehyung turns in the passenger seat.
At once, Jiminâs heart rate picks up.
âAh. Okay.â Taehyung stretches out one arm and presses his phone to Jiminâs ear. âThere.â
Jimin shoots him a dark look, but holds the phone anyway. Before he can say a word, Yoongi gravelly voice cuts in.
âJimin-ah.â
Itâs like being electrocuted after running away from the thunderclouds for so long. Jiminâs chest constricts and he licks his lower lip. âHey?â
He inwardly cringes at the sound of his own voice. He sounds so pathetic.
âYah, whyâd you block me,â Yoongi says, whiney and honey-like, and Jimin can just imagine the pout on his lips while speaking. He clears his throat. âDid I⌠did I scare you away?â
Jimin heart heaves.
âNaur,â he says meekly. Regret floods him veins in a cold stream. The last thing he wants is to ruin whatever friendship he has with Yoongi.
He hates the way Yoongi sounds, all hesitant and uncertain. It dawns on Jimin that his care for Yoongi is bigger than his wounded ego.
âItâs not you, itâs me,â Jimin stammers. âItâs justâ I- I pressed wrong? My hand slipped?â
Pin drop silence.
âRight,â Yoongi says, and Jimin can practically picture an aura of disbelief pouring out of his body.
âSorry, Iâm just.â Jimin exhales. âOverwhelmed. Iâm tryna deal.â
âDeal with..?â Yoongi prompts.
âThe whole thing, I guess.â Jimin glances around the car. The other guys appear to be occupied with their own little things, but heâd be damned if he didnât know how attuned they are to their phone call. âLike. I need time to process it, is all.â
He hears Yoongi inhale a huge breath and sigh, and is quick to add, âI swear, weâre fine. Donât worry about it! But maybe keep phone communications light? Itâs a vacation after all.â
Yoongi hums. âNo, yeah, I get it. Take your time.â
âWe can talk about other stuff, no probs!â
âYeah?â Thereâs an uptick in Yoongiâs voice that loosens the tightness in Jiminâs shoulders. âGood to know. Sorry if I was being pushy.â
âItâs cool, I swear,â Jimin insists, wanting to do nothing but assure and reassure, over and over. Anything to make Yoongi comfortable.
âLike you said, Iâd rather just⌠talk face-to-face. Like, a proper conversation, you know?â Jimin adds frantically.
Yoongi hums again. âI know, yeah. Thatâd be better.â He pauses, and thereâs nothing but his breathing on the other end. âDonât make me miss you too much, though.â
Jimin barks out an involuntary half-sob, half-delirious laugh that startles the rest of the guys in the car. Hoseok curses under his breath about almost fucking up the parking. Jimin salutes apologetically.
âDo I at least get to say that?â Yoongi asks. âPermission to miss you.â
Jimin has never been this confused in his life. Itâs like his heart is perpetually being put through sandpaper, then balm, only to go through the wringer all over again.
Above it all, he just really wants Yoongi to stay /his/. Even as a friend.
âYeah,â Jimin answers weakly.
Hoseok turns off the engine and the rest starting jumping out of the car. Jimin stays seated, frozen in his own bubble.
âYeah?â Yoongi chuckles.
âYah, Jimin-ah! Help unload the trunk,â says Hoseok, knocking on his window.
Jimin nods. âMm. You donât need permission to miss me.â
Yoongi huffs. âThank God.â
âI gotta go,â Jimin says, opening the car door.
âTalk soon? You know I get- I get anxious.â
âI know,â Jimin says, and this time he doesnât fake the warmth in his voice. âIâll be in touch. Weâre good, really.â
(He loves Yoongi too much.)
âDonât you think he looks a little gloomy?â Namjoon asks, munching on a granola bar while on the couch of their little rented AirBnb. He gestures to the direction of the bathroom, where Jimin is taking a quick shower to cool off from the heatwave.
Jungkook nods. âPotato chip?â
âNo, thanks,â says Namjoon.
âHe was all weepy on the plane,â Taehyung remarks, scrolling through the dozens of pictures heâs already taken in his camera gallery.
âI think itâs because mercury is in renegade,â says Jungkook.
âRenegade?â Hoseok mimics the viral TikTok dance.
âNo. Gatorade,â says Namjoon. âHalmeoni texted me to warn me about it.â
âHe means retrograde,â Taehyung corrects with a swift smack to the back of Jungkookâs head. Jungkook shoots him a glare and aims a kick at his shin. Taehyung hisses and karate chops his neck.
Hoseok frowns. âJiminâs bummed âcause thereâs mercury in gatorade⌠shit. Fuck, he loves that drink, too.â
âI have a prophecy,â Jungkook says, raising his hand. âLetâs have a campfire when the other hyungs arrive.â
âYou mean a /proposal/,â Namjoon says.
âIâm a minor, be nice.â
Taehyung points at Jungkook. âI love that. And then weâll play truth or dare. Then theyâll confess. Happily ever fucking finally after.â
Namjoon bites his lip. âAre we gonna have to roast our own food over the fire?â
The other three exchange uncertain looks.
â/Weâll/ cook.â
[dtownbeats]
daegu is such a sleepy town
itâs been so long i almost forgot
[jimin of the park]
haha. bored?
[dtownbeats]
a little⌠zzz
[jimin of the park]
update.
@ cheonjiyeon falls now
[dtownbeats]
wow
see thatâs why iâd rather be there
have fun on my sorely bored behalf
[jimin of the park]
will do
In the end, Jimin eventually unblocked the guy. Itâs not like he was planning to keep Yoongi blocked anyway.
The spend half of their first day touring the falls.
For the most part, heâs distracted enough to not think of Yoongi or even bother to check his phone. Itâs a little hard to be lost in thought when youâre surrounded by four other guys who are all equally walking disasters by their own individual right.
Namjoon insists on adopting every tiny frog he finds along the stream, Hoseok goes ham-crazy on souvenirs, Jungkook somehow gets a kick out of taking pictures in life-threatening positions, and Taehyung enables the hell out of everyoneâs antics.
Jimin feels like a mother goose.
He takes solace in the little texts and pictures Yoongi sends him throughout the day, wildly aware of how tragic and pathetic Jimin is for allowing himself to be consoled and humored by the same person who keeps breaking his heart.
[dtownbeats]
in bloom
Jimin pauses to stare at the bed of marigolds. The sight of that pictureâand what it embodiesâaches with a grief he canât name. He plays it off casually, though.
[jimin of the park]
itâs still there?!
[dtownbeats]
haha yeah
[jimin of the park]
but HOW
i thought you moved out
[dtownbeats]
i mean
the property is still there
just had caretakers to look after it
Jimin chokes up at the nostalgia the flowers bring. But they raise a question in his head, too.
[jimin of the park]
remember long ago
when you sent me a bunch of seeds
what flowers were they?
[dtownbeats]
shocked_pikachu.jpg
[jimin of the park]
what
[dtownbeats]
you didnât plant them?
[jimin of the park]
of COURSE i did
[dtownbeats]
so why donât you know
jimin-ah, jimin-ah
hmmmmm
you wouldnât be asking me if you planted them
you wound me
[jimin of the park]
>:o
âJimin-ah, what are you doing?â Namjoonâs excited bark rips his attention from his phone. He waves from one of the bigger rock formations that he and the rest of the guys are standing on. âQuick, join the selca!â
Jimin grins.
[jimin of the park]
pabo!!!!
nevermind!
[chrys]
hey!
so iâll be in jeju the day after tomorrow
where do you want to meet?
[blooming bud]
where will you be?
[chrys]
west coast of the island
with friends but iâll meet you
Jiminâs eyebrows fly to his hairline as he reads the message over dinner.
[blooming bud]
dude
thatâs literally where weâll be too
how about the afternoon?
like. 5pm?
[chrys]
sounds cool
overlapping itineraries for the win, i guess
where?
[blooming bud]
Osulloc Tea Museum?
thereâs like a cafe
[chrys]
hmm. Iâll have to slip out
but sure.
see you
Jimin frowns at his phone screen, nudged by a little voice in his head telling him toâŚto what, exactly? Itâs like grasping in the dark for something he doesnât even know to begin with.
[jimin of the park]
Chrys will be in Jeju the same day Yoongi and Seokjin land.
Strange.
Finally an update thank you for patiently waiting^^ Goodnight! We are SO close to the endingâŚ
Donât forget to buy me a latte if youâd like to support my writing (and recently, health) journey.
Iâll be using the funds for meds!
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
also correction but itâs supposed to be [blooming bud], not [jimin of the park] I HAVE BEEN MUDDLED
âI swear, if you just close your eyes, you can practically taste the salt in the air,â Namjoon says as they observe the rock formations along the cliffs before them. Beyond that is the expansive sea, blue and clear as the sky.
Jimin hums and nods.
âPenny for your thoughts?â
âHuh?â Jimin blinks back to himself, anchoring his thoughts from where theyâve been straying. âYeah?â
Namjoon glances at him before turning to follow the other guys down from the observation lookout point. âYouâve been quieter this trip.â
âI have?â
âYep. You good, my guy?â
Jimin gulps before nodding, using the excuse of watching his step in order to avoid Namjoonâs gaze. Itâs not easy to lie under scrutiny. âSorry, Iâm good. JustâŚum, giving introspection a try.â
Namjoon grins. âDonât worry. Heâll be here tomorrow.â
âWho?â Jimin lets out a queak.
Namjoon only shoots him a knowing look.
âI wasnât thinking about Yoongi-hyung!â
Wrong thing to blurt out. As soon as the name leaves Jiminâs lips, Namjoonâs grin widens.
âWasnât even mentioning names.â Then he turns and jogs to clasp Jungkookâs hand. âWait, wait for me!â
[blooming bud]
i miss him
[chrys]
dude.
he broke your heart.
[blooming bud]
i know
but like
even just seeing him would be nice
[chrys]
Is he not around?
Jimin stares at his phone screen, formulating ways to subtly ânudgeâ more information out of Chrys.
Meanwhile, his correspondent has sent sent a stream of advice.
[chrys]
Do you think you deserved to be treated that way, bud?
Have some self-respect
put yourself first
Heâs just some guy
[blooming bud]
yeah heâs not around
went back to his hometown for a bit
like you did haha
[chrys]
i see
anyway this time should be about you
go and have fun with your friends
be present
[blooming bud]
will do thanks
come to think of it
howâs YOUR hometown visit?
[chrys]
prefer to not really talk about it
canât wait for Jeju
Jimin frowns at his phone. Dead end.
[blooming bud]
haha me too
I wonder what you look like
what if youâre someone I know?
[chrys]
Haha.
I can barely count my friends with all of my fingers.
Wouldnât bet on it
[blooming bud]
haha are you introverted
[chrys]
depends
when I want to be!
[blooming bud]
Aahhhh.
Jimin stares at the blinking typing line on his phone screen, conflicting thoughts warring in his mind. Thereâs no way this could be Yoongi, actually. Chrys has described being in love or having âloveâ for a friend; Jimin doesnât think Yoongi has anyone.
[blooming bud]
Iâm a little jealous of you tbh
Your life is steady
No rocky waters
even in love
[chrys]
It hasnât been easy
Oh but I did confess
Didnât get rejected thank heavens
Jiminâs jaw drops.
[blooming bud]
woah
congrats!!!??
so are u together now or
[chrys]
[chrys]
Dunno. weâll see
Iâm trying to test the waters
anyway i gtg
important things to do today
Iâll see you after I get settled in Jeju-do
[blooming bud]
oh ok
um see you !!
Jimin sighs and lowers his phone to his chest, mind racing. Well, that was unproductive.
He feels a little silly, a lot stupid, for trying to chase after a groundless suspicion. Jimin knocks his knuckles against his forehead with a grimace. Chrys is a taken man! How could he and Yoongi be one person?
Many people are coming to Jejuâthis is all just a coincidence!
Jimin pushes it to the back of his mind. Pushes everything aside to try and truly bask in the trip with his friendsâenjoy local food and orangeades, run about and take selcas.
He keeps himself entertained to avoid idle moments, lest he starts fantasizing about Yoongiâs kisses.
For the most part, heâs successful in casting his phone aside so he doesnât feel overcome with the urge to contact Yoongi. They havenât texted all day, not a peep. Not that Jimin is bothered. Or worried.
So he nearly jumps out of his skin when his phone vibrates after dinner.
[dtownbeats]
hey. you around?
Thatâs it. No hi, hello, or any updates about how his day has been. Not that Jimin is particularly curious.
He bites his bottom lip and sighs. Since /he/ was contacted, heâs got no choice but to /answer/, out of courtesy.
[jimin of the park]
sup?
[dtownbeats]
just
[dtownbeats is typingâŚ]
Jiminâs frown deepens as seconds tick by and no message chat pops up. What on Earth could Yoongi be typing for this long?
[dtownbeats]
rough day
just spoke with eomma.
about my passions
and why i quit piano, or classical at least
Jimin sits up abruptly, his heart rate kicks up a quicker pace in his chest, practically feeling Yoongiâs distress as if he were in his shoes.
âWhy, whatâs wrong?â Hoseok and Taehyung send questioning looks from across the dining table.
Jimin just shakes his head, busy typing.
[jimin of the park]
and how did she take it?
[dtownbeats]
:<
[jimin of the park]
hyung
[dtownbeats]
not too good
maybe itâs because i stuttered a lot
i presented my case poorly
and iâm just a loser, kind of
maybe sheâs right, i just make noise not music lol
my handâs clammy
/No/, Jiminâs mind screams right away while he stares at the flood of Yoongiâs texts with mounting dread. How does Yoongi not see how incredible he is, and how well heâs been doing?
[jimin of the park]
we both know thatâs not true
I canât even begin
[dtownbeats]
donât praise me
[jimin of the park]
itâs not about praising you for the sake of it!
you donât give yourself enough credit
please read back your texts
and tell me you donât actually believe them
Yoongi doesnât reply for a solid five minutes even after having âseen-edâ Jiminâs messages.
[jimin of the park]
i donât want to speak out of line
but just because your eomma was an opera singer doesnât mean she can appreciate or be open to all types of music
sheâs probably speaking from a place of prejudice
so pls donât take her words to heart
not when you work so hard
Itâs weird, Jimin thinks, how he will always feel compelled to rush & soothe Yoongi whenever heâs in distress regardless of whether theyâre on good terms or not. Even after getting rejected, Jimin still wants to be his friend. Pathetic as it may sound, he can settle for friends.
[dtownbeats]
right
yeah sorry just
intrusive thoughts
i sat on it for a bit.
i think itâs just a bummer that the one person iâve always tried hard to please and gain approval from just
wonât.
itâs something i know so i avoided telling her about the band
but now⌠itâs a mess
Jiminâs chest swells with an ache he doesnât know how to carry, like a second heart reserved under Yoongiâs name. He sighs and types furiously.
[jimin of the park]
tbh i love You
He hits the âpressâ button a split-second too late, just as his mind catches up with what he sent.
[dtownbeats is typingâŚ]
As soon as that prompt comes up on their chatbox, Jiminâs eyebrows jump and he squeaks, haphazardly double-texting.
[jimin of the park]
as in, You
that song yâall played at the summer showcase
banger tune
The âtypingâŚâ prompt disappears.
[dtownbeats]
ah
same
i love you too
gr8 song :] one of my favs
yeonjun wrote it
Jiminâs pulse kicks up a timpani tempo, and he can feel his neck flaming. He clears his throat and reminds himself not to take Yoongiâs messageâhowever heart-fluttery it isâtoo seriously.
But oh, how he wishes â with all the might his frail little heart could muster â that Yoongi would say those words and mean it the way Jimin wants them to.
Clutching his chest, he lets out a stuttering exhale, a little guttered, a lot wistful.
(âDo not panic,â Jungkook says at the alarmed looks on the othersâ faces from the dining table. âThese are normal Jimin-isms.â)
His friendsâ casual chattering falls away to background noise in Jiminâs ears as he forces himself to return to his text conversation with Yoongi. Gotta act casual.
[jimin of the park]
haha yeah. good song !!
which is why iâm trying to tell you
donât discredit your hard work
[dtownbeats]
I mean, I wouldnât call it discrediting
the guys in the band are amazing
just feeling a little bummed right now
And out of the blue, Jimin is struck with the strongest urge to offer a long, tight hug that might give some comfort to his hyung.
[dtownbeats]
âŚhug me?
Jimin stares at the newest chat bubble on his Kakao screen, dumbstruck. Itâs like Yoongi is reading his mind. Before he can type a reply though, another text quickly followsâ
[dtownbeats]
jk
that was cringe
Jimin muffles giggle into his hand.
[jimin of the park]
bet
you softie
[dtownbeats]
eh
im a tough nut
[jimin of the park]
itâs ok not to be tough all the time
im happy you opened up to me
you make incredible music
you guys are loved by so many
treasured
pls tell me you see that
[dtownbeats is typingâŚ]
[dtownbeats]
same goes for you, marigold
:]
Jimin bites back a squeak. There it is again. Yoongi has a knack for sneaking in that nickname at the most inopportune times which, frankly, cannot possibly good for Jiminâs poor heart.
[jimin of the park]
haha
anyways
i hope youâre feeling a liiiittle better
[dtownbeats]
maybe
Jimin narrows his eyes. Does Yoongi really want that hug for real, after all?
[dtownbeats]
are you wearing the pendant, jimin-ah?
As if by reflex, Jiminâs fingers fly to the chain around his neck â he hasnât been able to remove it again, despite the rejection and all.
[jimin of the park]
um
yes?
[dtownbeats]
cool
then perhaps Iâm feeling better now
/Sneaky/, thinks Jimin. Also â how dare ge continue to say such heart-fluttery things after everything?!
[dtownbeats]
gtg
spring-cleaning the attic tonight before the flight
see you tmrw? :]
Jimin curses his heart for doing a mini flip at the thought of reuniting with Yoongi after days being apart. He should really stop simping now. Correction â he shouldâve given up the crush years ago.
[jimin of the park]
yea cya! nightie
[dtownbeats]
good night, marigold.
In the morning, Jimin wakes up to the summer sun toasting his cheeks, and two messages from different people.
[dtownbeats â 8.50am]
Leaving Daegu now.
I found something after cleaning last night..?
We need to talk.
[chrys - 11:05am]
Hey, there!
Just touched down in Jeju-do.
Four words.
Four words are all it takes for Jiminâs vision to tunnel, the edges blackening, zeroing on, âwe need to talkâ. In what time in history had those words ever NOT spiked anxiety in the receiver?
He gulps, sweat beading at his temples, unable to focus on the other text.
[jimin of the park]
???
talk?
about?
[dtownbeats]
later
in person
am already in jeju with hyung btw
As if Jiminâs heart rate wasnât already galloping at an unhealthy speed.
[jimin of the park]
oh
so
are u otw?
can u at least tell me the topic
like is something wrong?
[dtownbeats]
hmm
yea otw
:]
Jimin scrambles out of bed. Thatâs it. No further elaboration whatsoever.
[jimin of the park]
HYUNG
iâm not kidding
u are sending me to the psych ward fr
but not before i strangle u
are u coming to the airbnb now?
While he waits for Yoongiâs reply, Jimin scrolls through his other chats until Chrysanthemumâs name catches his eye, and he realizes that he hasnât replied at all.
[first bloom]
hey!
niceee
welcome to Jeju!
[chrys]
first bloom?
thatâs quirky
so what flower are you then
[first bloom]
haha idk
you decide
anyway i have a suggestion
Itâs not like Jimin isnât excited to see Yoongi. The opposite, actually, and he needs to get his emotions in check before meeting him again. And soâ
[first bloom]
how about we meet now! haha
[chrys]
like right now?
Logic tells Jimin this: maybe things will align themselves into a more rational perspective once he meets his student counselor. You know, make a friend and get some real-time advice at the same time, all that jazzâkilling two birds with one stone. Chrysâ advice would calm him.
[jimin of the park]
yeapp
I know itâs abrupt but um
Iâm kinda maybe stalling for time avoiding someone and would really like some backup?
and your advice of course
[chrys]
Ahh
sounds urgent
well I guess I can move my schedule around :]
âYay,â Jimin mutters under his breath.
They decide to meet at the Oâsulloc Tea Museum in about an hour and a halfâs time, just in time for lunch. Itâs a good window period â Jimin should already be gone by the time Yoongi and Seokjin arrive in their lodgings. Good!
[first bloom]
how do i find you in the crowd?
[chrys]
good question
Iâll be the one holding a chrysanthemum
[first bloom]
lmaooo
an actual flower?
[chrys]
sure
many florists around
[first bloom]
okay
iâll find one too and update u what i got, idk
see ya!
As soon as the chat concludes, his phone buzzesânew message.
[dtownbeats]
to answer your question
jin-hyungâs reaching the place first
Iâve got some things to attend to
[jimin of the park]
oh
so youâll be arriving later?
[dtownbeats]
yeah
extracurricular duties
[jimin of the park]
ohhh thatâs cool
hahah have fun
[dtownbeats]
see you
[dtownbeats]
make sure to eat breakfast
or lunch
and hydrate :]
[jimin of the park]
ok now ur being weird
[dtownbeats]
a guy cant be concerned?
or excited?
[jimin of the park]
NAUR
[dtownbeats]
naur
missed that.
[jimin of the park]
GO DO YOUR ERRAND FFS
[dtownbeats]
ă ă ă
âNo way,â Jungkook laments as soon as Jimin finishes relaying the situation to him. âYouâre going off to meet a stranger youâve never met on an island youâre not familiar with ALONE?â
âIs this you being concerned?â Jimin balks.
âThis is me not wanting to miss out! Lemme come!â
Jimin scrunches up his nose. âItâs not even a big deal, itâs not like a blind date.â
âYeah but if this is a shady catfish scenario, I need to capture your Look of Dumbstruck-ness in 4K HD.â Jungkook pats his video cam. âAnd THEN square up and beat up whoever this Chrys is.â
âI bet heâll make you viral on TikTok.â Taehyung pops out of nowhere and hooks his chin over Jungkookâs shoulder. âKookâs edits are fire.â
Jimin says, âTell that to 14-year-old him. Graphic design is my passionââ
âHey! I was younger then!â
âCan I come with?â asks Taehyung.
Jimin sends him a helpless look. âBut you donât even know whatâs going on!â
âSure I do.â Taehyung chrugs nonchalantly. âYouâre meeting up with a white guy?â
âWhat?â
âSome dude named Chris?â
âChrys is NOT a foreigner. Heâs a flower. We speak Korean.â
âHeâs a flower?â
âYes.â
âSo can I come with?â Taehyung asks. âIâm just looking out for my bestieâs safety~â
âWhat, whatâs going on?â Hoseokâs voice filters through the air as he walks, one mug in hand, into the lounge area where the three of them are gathered. âJiminieâs leaving?â
âJust stepping out.â
Taehyung hooks a thumb over at Jimin. âHeâs meeting Chris Brown.â
Hoseokâs voice drops to a hush, eyes blowing wide. âHeâs in Jeju?â
Jimin smacks Taehyungâs arm.
âOw?!â
âUm,â Namjoon calls out from upstairs. âI broke a door?â
âEverybody please be quiet~â Jungkook singsongs.
Somehow, Jungkookâs request takes effect. A brief silence falls, punctuated only by a metallic jangling from upstairs.
âI swear itâs not me,â says Namjoon.
âDonât worry, the host says one of the doorknobs is a bit wonky, waiting for replacement!â Hoseok calls out. âCome down!â
After a few moments, a door slams, followed by the sound of flip-flops hopping down the stairs. Namjoon, fully clad in koala bear pyjamas, comes into view, bedhead and all. âWhatâs poppinâ?â
âJiminie is,â Taehyung answers. âHeâs poppinâ out. With me!â
âAnd me,â chimes Jungkook.
âIâm just meeting a friend, my online counselor,â Jimin explains, biting back a groan. On one hand, heâs exasperated, but on the other hand he canât help but feel warm at the thought of his friends looking out for him.
âDo you want us to come with?â Hoseok says calmly.
âIf you need an out, weâll be there,â Namjoon volunteers gently, leaning against the couchâs armrest. âBut you can say no.â
Jimin thinks it through. âIâm just concerned that there wonât be anyone here when Jin-hyung arrives.â
âOh,â says Hoseok. âHeâs accompanying Yoongi first.â
Jiminâs eyebrows jump. âOh?â
Hoseok nods, whipping out his phone. âYeah. Not sure what for, but he texted saying heâll feel better if Yoongiâs got someone with him.â He slides his gaze to Jimin. âWhich is why I hope you understand why weâre concerned, too.â
Jimin pouts. âFine.â
Itâs a little after midday when Jimin arrives at the tea museum with the guys, shuffling in with a crowd of tourists.
(âRemember, sit at least 2 tables away,â heâd sternly said.
âCanât we sit closer?â Jungkook lamented.
â/If/ we can even get a table,â Hoseok interjected.)
As soon as the building looms over them, Jungkook lets out an impressed hoot. âThis reminds me of your dadâs cafe in Busan, hyung.â
Jiminâs ears perk up. âHe runs a cafe now?â
Jungkook and Namjoon exchange glances.
âMmhmm,â says Jungkook simply. âSold his house for business.â
An image from so long ago flashes in Jiminâs mind â his childhood home, next to Jungkookâs and across the street from Namjoonâs. How many forevers heâd spent there. How limited those infinities has been. âHuh. I never got to see that house again.â
âIt was overrun with flowers.â
âYeah?â Jimin glances at Jungkook wistfully.
Jungkook nods. âI once scaled over the wall and saw a flowerbed there. Everything was yellow!â
Jimin chuckles to himself with the vague recollection of him planting the seeds Yoongi had sent him through letters.
Must be marigolds.
He glances down at the mini cluster of said flowers in his left hand, mainly orange dotted with yellow, handpicked from the beds lining the open fields along the road. At the same time, his phone buzzes.
[chrys]
okay Iâm in
found a seat
[first bloom]
here too!
with my flowers
[chrys]
haha nice
so what did you get in the end?
let me find you
Jimin walks through the glass doors, and instead of typing a reply, he raises the cluster of marigolds in his hand to take a picture of it, then swiftly sends it.
His phone pings in record time.
[chrys]
hmm?
[first bloom]
you asked me what Iâd be
so here i am
[chrys]
theyâre marigolds
A gnawing sensation, cold and numbing, starts scraping at the back of Jiminâs mind. He squints.
âSo where is he?â Taehyungâs dramatic whisper jolts Jimin out of his reverie.
âUm.â He looks around.
His phone buzzes. This time, instead of a text from Chrysanthemum, itâsâ
[dtownbeats]
Look up.
Jimin frowns, but obliges. He raises his gazes and is drawn to a single, bright yellow chrysanthemum flower bobbing among the cafĂŠâs mob of dark-haired guests.
His breath stutters.
âKook.â Jiminâs hand shoots out to grab Jungkookâs sleeve, reeling back at the sight that greets him:
His hairâs grown past his ears, curling at the nape, onyx eyes burning into Jiminâs.
âWhat was the flowerbed outside our house?â
Jungkook snaps his fingers. âChrysanthemums.â
Thank you for reading up âtil here heheh thoughts?
If youâd like to support my work + my medicine costs for my health (not so good in the last months), feel free to drop a cuppa coffee
thank you always. Iâm happy to write!
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
âdear batman hyung min yoongi,
iâm 9 years old today and i think you forgot its my birthday so iâm writing to remind you that itâs my birthday. we have cake, if you wanna eat it you can go to my party becoz itâs chocolate. den maybe iâll see you and we can play.
older,
- mimiâ
âDearest birthdayee,
Happy birthday. Didnât you receive my postcard? It should have arrived yesterday.
iâm not allowed to leave Daegu so iâm drawing you a present.
your Batman hyung,
min ygâ
âdear batman hyung,
woah. whatâs inside? i like a beyblade.
you know i relly wanna meet you and play. i will ask my eomma to ask your eomma if you can come over for my special day. she MUST say yes!
I saw the postcard! Appa thought it was a Halloween bro-sure?
older,
mimiâ
âDear birthday boy,
Not a brochure. Being born in October means youâre a Halloween baby! So there.
LOL Iâm not sure if we can meet anytime soon! But since we live in Gyeongsang-do, it would be funny if weâve seen each other without knowing before, right?
Older Than You,
Y.G.â
âdear hyung,
hello iâm NOT a baby, Iâm 9. Shut up!
Donât call me baby, I have a baby brother remember? He is the baby.
hah nooo way, I would know for sure if itâs you! if we ever meet and i act like I donât know you, just call my full name!!!
hereâs your cake slice.
bye,
mimiâ
Contrary to what Jimin thought it would be like if ever he came across a life-altering moment, thereâs no record-scratch happening. Instead the world, uninterested and unsuspecting, keeps on turning. The crowd streams past his frozen figure.
/Chrysanthemums./
His first thought is: it must be some kind of mistake. Or coincidence. Just because Yoongi once sent him chrysanthemum seeds years ago doesnât mean the significance still holds true today, right?
Jimin quickly averts his gaze from Yoongiâs and looks down at his own marigolds.
So then how come he still resonates so deeply with marigolds?
âUm, I donât get it.â
Jimin sucks in a sharp inhale and turns to Taehyung, whose head is tilted to one side.
âIsnât that⌠Yoongi-hyung?â Taehyung waves excitedly. âYo, hyung! Wassup!â
âEyyy!â Hoseok lights up.
Yoongiâs eyes, burning with an intensity that makes Jiminâs stomach drop, momentarily flickers to their friends before returning to Jiminâs stricken self.
Itâs too much, all at once. Yoongi, his counselor. Yoongi,his first loveâso evergreen, never out of season in Jiminâs life.
A wave of nausea hits Jimin, and he shakes his head, fearing the floor might give out beneath him.
Fuck, His brain needs some space to process this. No, he needs to walk away, pretend he didnât see shitâ
He grunts, spins on his heelâ
Marches off swiftly andâ
âPark Jimin.â
Low, a little hoarse, a lot desperate. Yoongiâs voice traps Jimin in place, raises goosebumps along his arms.
ââIf we ever meet and I act like I donât know you, just call my full nameâ,â Yoongi continues, voice stronger, floating above the crowdâs chatter, ââis what you wrote.â
/From a letter over a decade ago./
Jimin hangs his head and lets out a shaky exhale, only to realize that the marigolds in his clutch are trembling in his hands, too. He canât believe it.
âWait,â Taehyung drawls, frowning, âwhyâs hyung here?â
âLetâs join him,â adds Jungkook.
Hoseok gently steers Jimin around and drapes an arm over his shoulder. âYou okay, my bro?â
âWaitâI just.â Jimin digs his heels into the floor, making everyone pause. His voice cracks, âI think itâs /me/.â
âHuh?â Jungkook cocks his head.
âMe, the one Yoongi is waiting to meet.â
Hoseokâs eyes narrow. Meanwhile Jungkook and Taehyungâs eyes bulge wide, flittering between Jimin and Yoongi.
âWait, as in, no cap?â
âHow dâyou know?â
Jimin doesnât even know where to begin. He lifts his marigolds weakly. âThe⌠flowers.â
âOh? Jimin-ah?â
Seokjinâs voice.
Jimin hears him way before he slides into view, separating from the nondescript crowd to appear next to Yoongi while carrying a tray of steaming tea. Seokjin sets down the tray, then waves their little group over to come closer.
âYah, whatâre you punks doing here? Following us?â
âJiminie said he was meeting someone,â Hoseok says. âTurns out it was Yoongi-hyung?â
â/Yoongi/?â Seokjin repeats in disbelief. âBut my dongsaeng is meeting⌠oh, wait.â His gaze darts to Jimin.
âI donât understand,â says Jungkook.
Taehyung shrugs. Jimin wants to wilt.
He can barely think straight, let alone deal with Yoongi and the circus of an aftermath thatâs coming for sure. Itâs excruciatingly humiliating, for a lack of a better word, to be caught on the brink of a mental breakdown in the middle of their friends.
He turns to scurry away.
To his chagrin, a strong hand catches him and tugs him back by the collar. âWoah, woah, where do you think youâre going?â Jungkook says cattily, grinning from ear to ear. âNot so fast.â
Jimin squirms. âN-no, let me go, little shitââ
âNo, we gotta hear this,â chuckles Taehyung.
âJimin-ah, are you okay?â Hoseok chimes, brows drawn in worry. Jimin does not want to be the target of said worry, or anyoneâs attention at all.
âHeol, whatâs upâ?â Namjoon ambles towards them while carrying a tray of snacks and tea.
âOh, shit, heâll drop that,â says Jungkook.
âCan yâall just sit?â says Jin.
Jimin purses his lips, drawns in a breath, then faces them. The moment Taehyung and Jungkook clock his expression, their smiles drop.
âYo,â Taehyung says.
âItâs loud,â Jimin chides. âAnd I wasnât expecting this.â
âExpecting what?â Namjoon asks.
Jimin curls the fabric of his shirt into his free hand, trying to take even breaths, willing the whirlpool in his mind to calm. Heâs only vaguely aware of Hoseok is rubbing circles into his back.
And then Yoongi speaks again.
âItâs okay.â
Jiminâs head snaps up.
Yoongi remains seated, unmoving, his eyes fixated on Jimin as if heâs afraid that if he so much as stands up or dare to look elsewhere, Jimin might bolt. His left hand is gripping the chrysanthemum stalk so hard his knuckles are white. âIf you donât want to, you can walk out.â
And it should be ridiculous, how Min Yoongi can be the cause and cure for a meltdown within the span of a minute, through as few words as possible. But in his misty gaze Jimin finds kindness, and something else⌠something almost resigned, maybe even guilty.
Jimin swallows.
Following such a harrowing discovery, a million questions burrow into corner of Jiminâs mind. How is this possible? Did Yoongi know all along? And come to think of itâJimin checks his phone and realizes the last message was from âdtownbeatsââhow long since Yoongi figured it out?
In times of crisis, the path of least resistance is always the most convenient to take. And so rather than give in to reactive emotions and disappoint Yoongi by running away again, Jimin lets curiosity win above all else.
He inhales and strides forward, expression tight.
The seat opposite Yoongiâs is empty, so Jimin makes a beeline for it and lowers himself to face Yoongi. Better get all the questions answered before anything elseâ
âIâm sorry,â Yoongi stutters, head bowed, face ashen.
Jiminâs frown deepens. âWh-what? What are you sorry for?â
It makes no sense to Jimin that the first thing pouring out of Yoongi is an apology instead of an avalanche of question, like with Jimin. Because if guilt is his first reactionâŚ
âIâm sorry,â Yoongi repeats brokenly, eyeing their respective flowers.
âŚthen that means he knew.
The realization is a knife stab to Jiminâs gut, making him reel backwards in part disgust and part dismay. So Yoongi had known his identity all along and yet continued to exchange letters with him?
âYou knew?â Jimin says, nostrils flaring. âAnd yet you acted dumb?â He stands.
âWait, no- huh?â
Jimin drops his head to his hands. âNo, actually. Itâs me, Iâm the dumbfuck. Iâm the problem. I shouldnât have writtenâ fuckâs sake, Iââ He can feel himself drowning in a spiral again, thoughts falling into that menacing coil where he canât retrieve coherency.
And then Hoseok is there, draping himself over Jiminâs back. âBreathe.â
âIâm still trying to piece it together,â Taehyung says.
âDude. Read the room,â Jungkook chastises.
Seokjin quips quietly, âTeaâs cold.â
Yoongi looks up at his brother and ekes out a helpless, âHyung.â
(âWait,â Taehyung gasps, âholy shit, HEâS Chris Brown. I get it, I get it.â
âNo, dude. Look at the flower, itâs a chrysanthemum⌠itâs chrys, itâs a homophobe.â
âYou mean homophone,â corrects Namjoon.)
Seokjin clears his throat, and thenâ
âEverybody, shut the fuck up.â
Amidst a museum cafĂŠ abuzz with the low chatter of tourists, a long table remains in pin-drop silence.
Until Namjoon clears his throat.
âWe open the case at hand with the issue: plaintiff Jimin accuses defendant Yoongi of taking advantage of his vulnerability.â
IT IS 4AM?! aaaahh. TBC!
Donât worry :] be excited for the fluff!!!
if you liked this update, perhaps drop me an espresso? It would help a lot with my medical upkeep (Iâm injured, on a recovery journey!)
xoxo.
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
It took a bit long to explain the crux of the issue and get everyone on the same page, mainly because someone kept firing questions every few seconds. But at last theyâre here, and Jimin is⌠well, he no longer feels like puking, if that counts.
âDefendant, state your case.â
Frozen across Jimin, Yoongiâs head is hanging low, face shadowed by his hair. He gives a small puff of a sigh and rubs his eyes. âNamjoon, I donât evenâ Iâd really rather not.â
âWhy?â Jimin canât help but blurt. Is Yoongi in denial? Does he hate that Jimin is first bloom?
Yoongiâs eyes snap to his, clouded with too many frantic emotions Jimin canât point out one by one. The look that passes between them feels like a choked sputter, an attempt to breathe in an airtight space.
Then it occurs to Jimin. Yoongiâs anxiety must be off the roof.
Jimin glances around the table, clocking the rapt & concerned expressions on his friendsâ faces. As much as he loves them, he wonders just how necessary this whole set-up is. All this attentionâŚ
Yoongi ends up just shrugging in reply.
âBut did you already know?â prods Namjoon.
Yoongi shakes his head mutely, shoulders curling in. He raises one hand to his mouth, gnawing on a fingernail.
Jimin canât bear to watch him. He stands, albeit abruptly, making the rest of their friendsâ heads swivel to him.
âUm. I wanna go walk outside. Fresh air.â
At his words, Yoongi seems to wither even further, so Jimin adds in a clipped tone, âWith Yoongi-hyung.â
Raised eyebrows meet his declaration. Yoongi looks up at him, gaze searching.
âJust us,â Jimin clarified. He cocks his head towards the glass door leading to a grassy patch.
The first to nod and wave them to go ahead is Hoseok, sending Jimin an encouraging smile. Seokjin directs a pointed look at Yoongi, who sighs before standing.
âYou sure you donât need us?â asks Taehyung.
âYeah, what if you start beating each otherâs faces up?â says Jungkook.
âIâLL beat you up if you donât shhh,â Jimin hisses, pinching lightly at Jungkookâs earlobe. Jungkook makes a move to swat him away, but Jimin is already scuttling aside, looking over his shoulder at Yoongi. âHyung. Join me?â
Yoongi pockets his hands and follows him outside.
Jimin picks a spot on the grass yard and makes it a point to turn his back to their friends, who are undoubtedly snooping in through the glass walls. He sits cross-legged and pats the patch beside him, beckoning Yoongi to take his place.
Yoongi sits, and asks, âDo you hate me?â
Jimin scoffs, nose wrinkling. âYou always keep saying that. Even when we were kids.â
Yoongi shrugs, chewing on his bottom lip.
Silencr descends on them.
âI donât,â Jimin says finally. âI could never, especially not now.â Yoongi had shaken his head when Namjoon asked if he knew.
âDid you mean it?â Jimin says, tugging fruitlessly at a blade of grass, if only to give his hands a task. âThat you didnât know my identity the whole time we were talking through the Garden Post?â
Yoongi nods. âThey donât let correspondents know. Itâs fully anonymous.â
Jimin nods. âOkay.â There is so much to say. There is nothing to say. He doesnât even know where or how to begin. âHonestly Iâm appalled by how blind Iâve been to not have connected the dots any sooner. What a dumbass.â
âThat makes two of us,â Yoongi quips quietly.
âWhy did you keep apologizing, just now?â Jimin asks, hugging his knees to his chest. âThat made me panic.â
âBecauseââ Yoongi swallows heavily and rubs a hand over his face. âBecause I was reminded of the things you wrote me.â
âLile what?â
âFamily, moving away. Life shit.â
Yoongi rests his elbows over his knees, eyes distant, expression darkening. âTo think that you were going through rock bottom. And I was here the whole time with hardly a clue. I just- was I that blind? I shouldâve⌠I wouldâve tried to be there for you.â
âIronically, you were.â
Jimin watches the miniscule changes in Yoongiâs expression when he grunts in response, but then inwardly reprimands himself for admiring how cute he is even when perturbed.
Yoongi scratches the back of his neck. âYeah, as an anonymous Aunt Agony to you. Itâs a lot to process.â
Jimin nods. Now that he thinks about it, itâs almost laughable how he and Yoongi always seem to find each other through letters, back then and now. âNot gonna lie, we did disclose a lot of shit to each other. LikeâŚâ
His mouth goes dry.
Chrysanthemum has a friend he /loves./
In the time itâs taken for his brain to catch up to the equation that Yoongi is Chrysanthemum and vice versa, a dozen more pressing facts had pushed that detail to the back of Jiminâs mind.
But if Chrysanthemum is Yoongi and Yoongi has few close friends, then�
Jimin gulps.
Yoongi is staring at a nondescript fallen lead next to his sneakers, waiting for Jimin to continue. When not a single word fills the air, he prompts, âLike the fact that you had someone else waiting on youâŚ?â
Jiminâs forehead wrinkles. What?
Wait,
Does Yoongi not REALIZE?!
Waiting on Jimin, as if there could have ever been anyone else. For once, Jimin is almost relieved heâs not the biggest clown in the circus.
He throws his head back with a scoff that eventually turns into wheezing chuckles, which seem to disgruntle Yoongi.
âYah, Park Jimin.â
Fuck, what a dumbass. Jimin squeezes his eyes shut to keep from laughing too loudly, dabbing at the tears beginning to dampen the corners. He ends up falling back, clutching his stomach as his head softly lands on the grass. Then, grappling for Yoongiâs sleeve, he tugs him along.
âWhat- dude, Iâm not gonna lie down in publicââ
âHyung, just come,â Jimin musters in between giggles, beckoning Yoongi closer. âIâll tell you what.â
âWhat?â Despite his begrudging tone, Yoongi obliges, leaning his ear closer so that heâs not lying flat, but propped on an elbow.
His face is so close that Jimin can see the tiny freckles dotting his nose bridge and cheeks, feel the heat radiating from his skin. Yoongiâs ears are pinking. Heâs always been pink. Jimin feels his anger melt away.
Lying flat, he cups both sides of Yoongiâs face. âI love you.â
Surprisingly fascinating really, how easy it gets to express an emotion once you have the right word for it. The words just roll right off Jiminâs tongue like theyâd always been meant to be whispered only to Yoongi. All that passion, that pining. Because if not love, then what?
Yoongiâs face seems to have frozen, hovering atop Jiminâs. His backâs gone rigid, and heâs so still that Jimin starts to fearâ
âBreathe, hyung,â he urges, giving Yoongiâs cheek a light smack.
It seems to perk him up. Eyelids fluttering wildly, Yoongi swallows.
His elbow gives way, and Yoongi ends up burying his crimson face in crook of Jiminâs neck so when he speaks, his voice comes out muffled.
âFuck, Jimin. That was foul.â
A giddy titter bubbles out from the depths of Jiminâs chest.
âDâyou- do you wanna say it again?â Yoongi says.
âNope,â Jimin says cautiously. ââCause what if you reject me again?â
Yoongi sucks in a breath, then lifts his head to level a puzzled expression at him.
Jimin groans and covers his eyes with one forearm. âDonât make me say it.â
âHuhââ
âI was writing about YOU the whole time.â
The multitude of emotions that cross Yoongiâs face, making him narrow and bulge his eyes out over and over within the span of seconds, is enough to send Jimin into another wheezing fit. He sits up and gently pats the back of Yoongiâs neck.
âYeah, yeah. âAsshole red flagâ, huh?â
Yoongi just shoots him a weak glare, mouth parted in incredulity. After a moment, a string of curses fall from his lips. âI played myself bad.â
âPretty much.â Jimin is enjoying this way too much.
âAnd here I thought I was being consistent towards you.â
âConsidering that we loathed each otherâs guts since we met again, I had reason to doubt everything,â Jimin says, hands raised as if in surrender. He lowers them to his lap and stares at his palms. âBut maybe deep down, I had a feeling. Was I the friend you âhave love forâ?â
Yoongi buries his face in both hands, only to eke out a quiet, âAnd what about it?â
Jiminâs stomach flips like a pancake. He feels like a soufflĂŠ pancake, warm & soft. âThen it means you /didnât/ reject me.â
âDude, when did I ever- shit, what kind of conversation even is this?â
âBro, hyung, you literally CALLED me the other day to take back everything,â Jimin says. âAnd that was AFTER we kissed at Hangang! What was I supposed to think?â
âDude, I was trying to tell you that you deserved betterââ
âThereâs no one better for me, man.â
âBro.â
âBro.â
They hold each otherâs stubborn gazes for a full half a minute, each one reluctant to break the silence first, but Jimin can see the tip of Yoongiâs nose pinking, and he has no doubt his own face is redder than a Christmas sock.
They both turn away bashfully at the same time.
Jimin crosses his arms, lower lip jutting out, mind swirling. Relationships are tough. He always thought a love confession could solve everything, but it seems with a connection as tangled-up as his and Yoongiâs, itâs gonna need more than a simple admission of feelings to fix.
âIt wasnât supposed to be a rejection,â Yoongi finally says, playing with loose threads on the denim of his jeans. His cheeks are starkly rosy against the white of his shirt and the dark hair curling under his ears. Jimin quells the urge to justâ touch him, be close.
âOh, yeah?â
âYeah, no. I wanted to- to say it when Iâm sober. Drunken shenanigans isnât my style. You deserve better than that.â Yoongi shrugs, casting him a sidelong glance. âAnd itâs not fair if I donât get to remember every detail.â
Jimin muffles a giggle into his sweaterpaws.
âSo say it again, then,â he challenges, raising one eyebrow.
Yoongi squints at him, pursing his lips. Jimin reaches out and prods him on the side.
âCome on, say it again.â
âWeâre in public, dude.â
ââDudeâ?â Jimin parrots, mimicking a puking motion. âCâmon, just say it~â
He makes a move to tickle Yoongiâs side again, only for Yoongiâs rough hands to catch him by the wrists midway.
Leaning in, he murmurs hoarsely, âDonât be a brat, marigold.â
Which is more than enough for Jimin to shut up and suddenly feel compelled to be a very good boy indeed.
He wrestles his wrists out of Yoongiâs hands, flashes a peace sign and grins brightly. âOkay, bestie.â
Yoongiâs jaw drops. Jimin smirks, and is about to mock him again, until he hears a loud rustling from nearby.
âSo, whatâs the verdict?â
âI canât hear, ow, Kook, my shoulder.â
âShhh, you guys need to be more discreet. Subtlety is an art movement.â Seokjinâs voice.
âActually, there was never an art movement named subtlety, but I guess âminimalismâ is the word youâre looking for,â comes Namjoonâs not-so-whispered input.
âWe can hear you,â says Jimin.
âShit, shit, everyone scramââ
âCome out,â Yoongi calls, craning his head back to stare at the suspiciously trembling bushes a few feet away from where he and Jimin are sitting.
At this, four faces with sheepish smiles pop up from the bramble, leaves adorning their hair.
Yoongi rolls his eyes while Jimin bursts out wheezing at the looks on their friendsâ frazzled faces. Turning around, he spots Hoseok right behind them on the other side of the glass pane, sending Jimin a thumbs up.
/All good?/ his cousin mouths. Jiminâs eyes water.
He flashes a thumbs up in return. Hoseok visibly relaxes and points back at the table, where their trays of tea are cooling. Jimin nods.
âWe were just making sure no violence occurs on public grounds,â says Namjoon, dusting himself off. Jungkook picks a single leaf off his hair.
âSo did you guys make upââ Taehyung starts.
âAaaand since it looks like theyâre having an amicable chat, we should probably head back in,â Seokjin cuts in, steering Taehyung by the shoulders.
Yoongi scoffs. âAs if you werenât part of the eavesdropper crew too, hyung.â
âHush.â
Jimin grins as he watches the 4 of them dragging their feet back indoors, with Taehyung gesturing for Jimin to âspill the teaâ later.
Once theyâre left alone again, Yoongi shakes his head. âBusybodies.â He leans his weight back on his arms, fingers close to Jiminâs on the grass.
Without even clocking it, Jimin finds himself gravitating to him, his fingers inching close enough to interlink their pinkies. âI mean, I guess they got impatient. We should head back in, too.â
âJimin.â At that moment, Yoongiâs pinky locks with his.
Jimin pauses. âHmm?â
Yoongiâs tongue darts out to lick nervously at his bottom lip, and he takes an extended heartbeat before speaking. âJust nowâŚwhat you said. Itâs not just platonic. Yeah?â
Jimin tips his head to the side. In many ways, he might finally understand what it means when Yoongi wroteâ
ââI have love for youâ.â Jimin curls his pinky around Yoongiâs and offers a small smile. âI think I know what you mean, now.â
What he feels for Yoongi is all-encompassingâtoo huge to be compartmentalized, too malleable to be labelled as only platonic or strictly romantic.
âAnd I still want to continue finding out what that means, between us.â Jimin gestures in the space separating them. âI mean, itâs a lot to process, and I donât want to fuck up, you know.â
Yoongiâs eyes shine with surprise, before settling into a softer understanding. âI know.â
Jimin hugs his knees to his chest and rests his head on top of his knees, peering up at Yoongi through his eyelashes. Thereâs always been something about the way he feels when heâs fixed under Yoongiâs soft regard. He smiles.
âWhat?â says Yoongi.
âWhat?â
âYouâre staring.â
âThatâs âcause you stared first,â Jimin retorts smartly.
Yoongi rolls his eyes. âListen, thereâs this thing called eye contact which doesnât happen unless both parties are lookingââ
âIâm so glad itâs you,â Jimin murmurs, blinking up at him slowly. Yoongiâs mouth clamps shut.
Jiminâs grin spreads as he watches the other clear his throat and tug at his collar, looking anywhere but at him.
âLook at you, using your words,â Yoongi mumbles. âI canât tell if I like it or not.â
âWhy!â Jimin snaps petulantly.
Yoongi mirrors his position, hugging his knees.
He hides his face, leaving only his tousled hair exposed, & Jimin decides he canât suppress the urge to reach out and gently carress the tufts below Yoongiâs ear.
âWould you rather I never said anything?â he asks.
âNo.â
âThen?â
Yoongi lifts his head a fraction to peek at him.
Itâs oddly reminiscent of a similar moment lodged deep in Jiminâs memory, so many years ago on Yoongiâs home couch. Heâd looked at Jimin the same way then, cheeks flushed and eyes glimmering. At that point in time, Jimin hadnât understood what that expression meant. Ah, dĂŠjĂ vu.
Andâ holy crap.
If Yoongi had felt that way since back then, does that mean heâd been patiently waiting for Jimin to come to terms with HIS own emotions and sexuality?
Jiminâs mouth parts open in realization. âHyung.â
âWhat.â
âSo that kiss at the bus stop⌠it DID matter?â
Yoongi groans and buries his head into his knees again, ears a deep shade of maroon.
âHoly shit, you had a CRUSH on me back then!â Jimin concludes with a cackle.
âSays the idiot who took years to catch up.â
âFuck off, I bet you didnât know I liked you at the time, too!â
Yoongi looks at him then, eyes somber. âWhy do you think I held on for so long?â
Crack, goes the last layer of thin ice coating Jiminâs heart. He never really realized how every word and kind gesture from Yoongi had been thawing him from the inside out.
He looks away, smiling.
âI took a long time to get here, didnât I?â mumbles Jimin.
âAt least it wasnât forever,â Yoongi says matter-of-factly. âBut yeah, you took your time strolling. Detouring. Welcome home, though.â
âYouâre a SAP.â Jimin smacks his arm.
âAm I?â Yoongi reaches into his pocket.
What he produces is an old, familiar-looking beige envelope that Jimin would recognize anywhere, simply for being the brand of stationery he used to use to write letters to his penpal.
There is only one letter that he doesnât recall Yoongi ever opening.
Jimin gasps. âGIMME!â
He makes a lunge for the incriminatory piece of paper, but Yoongi is much faster, snatching the letter higher and out of reach. Jimin lets out a gruff whine as he falls over Yoongiâs lap.
âHyung! Have you opened it?â
ââDandelion hyungâ,â Yoongi recites, tone bright as summer.
âNo no NO,â Jimin all but wails, squirming upright and reaching for the letter again.
Yoongiâs chest rumbles with laughter as he scrambles to his feet. He pockets the letter while making a beeline for indoors, turning with a mocking shrug.
Jimin stomps his foot. âAh, hyung!â
He stares at Yoongi, aghast, while racking his brain for what heâd written in that stupid confession letter. Had he really started it with âDandelion hyungâ? Sheesh, itâs been way too long â Jimin himself canât even recall!
He huffs, then strides after Yoongi like a loser.
How did Yoongi even get his hands on it? Wasnât it lost mail? Jimin stews in his own embarrassment as he joins the table, and spots that Yoongi has already taken a seat. The man in question is smiling up at Jimin politely, like he hasnât just obliterated Jiminâs mental PEACE.
âYo,â Namjoon greets, face schooled in one of his trademark passive aggressive smiles. âNice of you to finally remember we exist!â
âDid you guys make up?â Taehyung asks.
Jimin holds up his hands. âNo violence.â
âGood,â says Seokjin. âSo sit next to Yoongi to prove your truce.â
He stands to give up the seat heâs occupying beside Yoongi in order to swap places with Jimin, who was initially sitting opposite.
âUh,â Jimin starts.
âIf you guys can tolerate each other for more than an hour without clawing each otherâs eyes out, Iâll believe you,â says Jin.
Yoongi rolls his eyes.
/Perfect/, Jimin thinks with an internal whoop. This is his chance to make a grab for the letter in Yoongiâs pocket once he lets his guard down. He stifles a grin and hops over to Yoongiâs side. Yoongi raises a brow at him.
Jimin only smiles innocently.
âHi,â he says.
Yoongiâs eyes narrow, but thereâs an amused glint flashing in them. âYep, youâre up to no good.â
âExcuse you? For smiling?â Jimin retorts. âWould you prefer I glare at you?â
At this, Yoongi twists sideways to face him better, then tugs Jiminâs stool closer.
Jimin muffles a yelp, finding himself in way closer proximity to Yoongi than he expected, then forces his face to relax.
The entire time, Yoongi keeps a stoicâalmost boredâexpression, one hand supporting his own chin while his free arm snakes around the small of Jiminâs back.
âGo ahead. Glare,â Yoongi drawls.
Jimin licks his lower lip, heartbeat galloping faster when he finds Yoongiâs gaze flicking down to his mouth momentarily.
âYou were saying?â Yoongiâs voice is gravel. He tilts his head to one hand, a smirk tugging up one corner of his mouth.
Jimin grapples for his wits, and when his braincells finally connect to one another, he smirks back and sneaks a hand into Yoongiâs back pocket. Two can play at that game.
Yoongiâs eyes widen as Jiminâs hand slips into the denim. Then he catches Jimin by the wrist. âHmm?â
âWhat the fuck,â says Namjoon. âWhat the actual fuck.â
âAs if youâre any better,â Hoseok berates. âYou and Jungkook got all handsy on the car ride.â
âWe were playing thumb war!â Jungkook cries. âThis isââ He waves weakly towards Jimin and Yoongi.
Taehyung snaps a selfie.
Seokjin sips his tea calmly, legs crossed, eyes glittering with mirth.
THE END.
JUST KIDDDING
We are about 2 updates left to the finale. :] thanks for keeping up with this short update!
If you like my work & would like to support me, I hope you consider getting me a cappucino expenses are heavy especially for this month~
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
So what exactly DOES happen after the big confession moment, the pinnacle of every fairy tale, the peak of romantic comedies? In the movies Jimin watches, itâs easy â the two leads get together and happily ever after ensues. Cue credits.
Real life does not end in credit-rolls.
And as Jimin is discovering, life goes on in a decidedly normal fashion, albeit now he does feel somehow lighter, bouncier; something about expressing oneself honestly has an unloading effect on his chest.
Still, heâs surprised that Yoongi doesnât really act, well⌠different.
Not that Jimin was expecting anything! But shouldnât there be something to be said for the way two people behave pre- and post-revelation of /feelings/?
Thing is, Jiminâs not so sure. With Taemin, they just naturally started hanging out more and more without talking it through.
Granted, heâd known Taemin had been attracted to him from the beginning, and itâs not like there was a lot on the line if Jimin got intimate with him.
But this is /Yoongi/. Jimin is not certain how or where to start, or what should be left in the air for the wind to sort.
Such are the thoughts swirling around in Jiminâs little brain soup as their group slowly packs up to head back. As they exit the tea museumâs doors, Yoongi falls into step with him, close enough to feel his body heat, and Jimin bristles.
Their fingers brush.
Jimin jumps.
Crap, is there something in the air or did Jimin just feel a literal /spark/ zap through his skin. He stares at his palm, then fixes his gaze on Yoongiâs, frowning.
âYou okay?â Yoongi murmurs, leaning close into Jiminâs ear, which makes him tense up and lean away, cheeks hot.
âHhhhh.â Jimun lets out a pathetic, puttering noise from the back of his throat and nods vigorously, flashing two thumbs up at Yoongi. Thereâs a lot to process.
He wants to hold Yoongiâs hand. He wants to take his time. He wants Yoongi to tell him what /he/ wants.
Yoongi blinks, then smiles to himself and itâs a glorious, glorious sight, the way his eyelashes flutter like butterfly wings in slow motion, casting shadows on those snow-pale cheeks.
Jimin gulps.
Come to think of it, what did he want out of confessing his feelings frankly?
Because itâs only crashing down on him now, after itâs been said and done, that all this time Jiminâs been so preoccupied with denying his attraction, hating Yoongi and eventually accepting his own feelings that he failed to consider the⌠After. Just Happily Ever.
Besides, why did it take finding out Chrysanthemumâs true identity for Jimin to muster up thr courage to be honest? If he really thinks hard about this, could it be possible that his attachment to Chrysanthemum as a /counselor/ is misleading him to mistake romantic feelings?
Because what if thatâs the case? And what about Yoongi â wouldnât his role as a Garden Post counselor be compromised if word got out that he got too personally involved with his assigned correspondent? Itâs one of the main issues that the whole anonymity rule stood for!
âEarth to Park Jiminâyah.â This time, itâs Seokjinâs voice that rips Jimin out of his newest impending spiral. Jimin sucks in a sharp breath and blinks back to his surroundings, only then realizing that theyâve already walked to the carpark, and everyone but himâs hopped onboard.
The car door is open, and there are 6 pairs of eyes currently fixated on him, waiting.
Yoongi, the one nearest to him, wordlessly pats the empty space next to him.
âRight.â Jimin ducks into the vehicle, planting himself beside Yoongi. Their knees touch. It makes him weak.
And then Jimin is smacked in the face with hot flush, a new realization sending an overwhelming wave of embarassment over him. Shit, now that theyâve been honest, will every skinship with Yoongi feel this intense from now on?
But wouldnât that be weird? Jimin would hate to start feeling awkwardâpretty counterproductive, especially since honesty was supposed to clear the air between them.
A nudge against his knee has him blinking out of his thoughts, and he glances at Yoongi, whose brows are furrowed.
Before Yoongi can utter anything though, Seokjin beats him to it.
âAll good back there, Jimin? You two are awfully quiet.â
Taehyung, squeezed next to Yoongi, scoffs. âHyungâs always quiet.â
âMaybe you should too,â Seokjin says.
âMean!â
Jimin clears his throat. âJust tired.â
He turns and leans against the window, looking out over the fields passing by. Although heâs keenly aware of Yoongiâs eyes following him, Jimin tries his best to give a chipper demeanor. He shouldnât let his overthinking cloud the atmosphere.
Any other time before this, Jimin would have shot a quick text to his student counselor for the next best course of action. But knowing thar Chrysanthemum and Yoongi are one and the sameâ
Wait.
Fuck. Jiminâs been complaining & asking Yoongi for advice to /get over Yoongi./
Now that he finally has time to process the entire situation, the sheer mortification of such a ridiculous setup is a confrontation Jimin never couldâve prepared himself for.
He lets out a scoff of incredulity, then hides his face in his hands. âNaur!â
âIs he OK?â asks Ssokjin.
Jungkook raises a hand. âRespectfully, if I may. Heâs just going through it.â
âLet him be,â Yoongi mumbles.
âI guess the best thing to do is⌠ig-naur him,â says Seokjin.
âNaur-cissistic, mygod I love it~â Jungkook singsongs.
Jimin shrivels and sinks further into his seat.
âAre we having BBQ for dinner?â Taehyung pipes up out of nowhere.
âWho said thatâs the menu?â says Hoseok.
âNobody.â Taehyung grins. âThatâs why Iâm suggesting it now.â
âWe donât have a grill,â says Yoongi.
âWe could buy one,â Namjoon offers.
âOr rent,â Jungkook rectifies.
And so it goes, that while Jimin goes into breakdown mode over the realization of having been complaining about his crush TO his crush, his precious friends chatter about dinner in the meantime.
Itâs the most whack-but-comforting things ever. A reminder that life carries on.
Eventually, a menu is settled and Seokjin turns into the next road to make a detour to the nearest supermarket for groceries.
âIâm in charge of the snacks,â Jungkook announces, unbuckling his seatbelt.
Taehyung scrambles after him. âBro. Thatâs MY role.â
Seokjin sighs audibly.
âAre we babysitters?â he asks, and Hoseok chuckles while sliding out of his seat, followed by Namjoon.
Something taps against the side of Jiminâs shoe, and he peeks through his fingers to find Yoongiâs foot nudging him.
âHey.â
This is bad. Jimin canât even look at him!
âYoongi-yah, Jimin-ah, find the sauces. Iâm putting you on the condiment aisle,â Seokjin instructs, pausing to look back over his shoulder when he gets no response. âAre you two coming or?â
Jimin unbuckles his seatbelt. âYeah, hang onââ
âHyung.â Yoongi raises a hand. âLater.â
Jimin pauses and glances at him with a frown. âWhyââ
âGive us a few,â continues Yoongi while looking at him, tone firm. âWeâll join you in a bit.â
Seokjin squints from him to Jimin, then shrugs, tossing the car keys at Yoongiâs lap. âMake sure to lock before you leave, then.â
Jimin can only watch with a sinking feeling as the others turn away to stride towards the supermarket. What heâd give to find a way out of this car and Yoongiâs scrutiny!
The silence that wraps the air between them is thick and cloying, making Jimin gulp.
âWell? prompts Yoongi.
âWhat?â Jimin clears his throat and cranes his neck left and right, fixing his gaze on the backs of their friends as they stride towards the supermarket.
âSomethingâs off.â
Jimin licks his lower lip. When the silence between them stretches for too long, he turns to Yoongi.
To his surprise, Yoongiâs not looking at him like he thought heâd be. Instead, his hyung is leaning against the car seat, arms folded, gaze trained on the steering wheel.
Itâs relaxing to not be looked at, for once.
âWhatâs on your mind, marigold?â Yoongi asks impassively.
Jiminâs hands find their place beneath the reassuring weight of his own thighs, if only to keep them from fidgeting pointlessly. âThereâs⌠I donât know where to start.â He emits a nervous chuckle.
Yoongi casts him a sidelong glance, but makes no comment save for a low hum.
âIâll just start then,â he says with a tiny shrug. âYou seem bothered by something, and uh. Well, when you go quiet, I get worried.â
Jiminâs eyebrows rise to his forehead. âYou do?â
âOf course.â Yoongi sniffs. âI canât read your mind, you know? And I wonder, âIs he mad at meâ?â
Jimin shakes his head aggressively. âThereâs no reason- why would I even beâŚ?â
âThatâs what Iâm saying.â Yoongi twists his body to face him, then leans his head to the backrest of the car seat. âIâm not particularly interested in othersâ business. But I want to hear yours.â
Warmth spreads through Jiminâs chest, and he leans closer to rest his temple against Yoongiâs shoulder. Heâs so fond. So, terribly fond. âYouâre the best.â
âAnd /that/ is a non-answer,â Yoongi says.
Jimin smooshes his face into Yoongiâs arm. âFine. Iâm- Iâm mortified, mostly.â
âAbout?â
âSeriously? Youâre gonna make me say it?â
âSay what?â Perhaps itâs a trick of his peripheral vision, but Jimin couldâve sworn he glimpsed Yoongiâs mouth twitch.
âHyung.â Jimin groans. Yoongi shakes his shoulder, jiggling him along. âQuit that!â
âStill waiting, Mimi.â
That stupid childhood nickname. Jimin lets out another exasperated groan, neck ensconced in heat, and sighs. âDude. I was literally gushing and complaining and cussing you out, /to you/. Thatâs so embarrassing.â
âYeah, well, at least you didnât call yourself a fuckboy red flag.â
A guffaw busts its way out of Jimin, and he bends over his knees while laughing, tears forming at his eyes. âRuining your own rizz. Shit, weâre such losers, hyung.â
Yoongi is pinching the bridge of his nose, the tips of his ears turning scarlet. âIâm never gonna live that down.â
And just like that Jiminâs lungs feel a lot freer; itâs like a balloon of tension just popped in the air between them, making laughter easy. Like this, itâs not difficult to imagine being with Yoongi.
Because⌠relationships are what happens when people like each other, right?
âSo what now?â Jimin blurts, too flush with relief to think twice.
âHmm?â
âThisâŚâ Jimin gestures between them, then clears his throat. âUs. Whatâs um, whatâs next?â
The light in Yoongiâs eyes dim to something serious, and his gaze turns searching. He falls quiet.
This new silence brings with it a heaviness that Jimin didnât expect his question to impose, and at the somber look on Yoongiâs face, panic swells in him. Instantly, his mind rushes to backtrack. âI mean, we donât need- I wasnât trying to pressureââ
âDo you want to be with me?â
Jimin feels his breath hitch. Yoongi watches him like a hawk, dark eyes glinting.
For the first time, Park Jimin actually confronts what it means to BE with someone, in a seriously committed manner. He shivers.
Why did thing with Taemin had felt so easy to start and let go of?
On the other hand, heâs compelled to be cautious about going down this roadânot when something precious is at risk.
As much as he wants to be around Yoongi all the time and craves his affection, if Jimin actually considers it carefullyâŚdoes /Yoongi/ deserve someone so broken?
As the silence turns stuffy, he spots a muscle working in Yoongiâs jaw.
âYouâre hesitating.â
âNo, itâs not thatââ
âItâs okay. You donât have toââ
âHyung,â Jimin cuts sharply, throat going tight. âDo /you/ want to be with me?â
Yoongi stares at him incredulously. âReally?â
And before Jimin knows it, the words are pouring out, an avalanche unblocked. âBecause what if itâs pity, what if youâre transferring some kind of social responsibility from your role as Chrysanthemum and mistaking it for romantic affection, what if I canât give what you need?â
Jimin runs a hand through his hair. âNo, scratch that, actually. Itâs not a âwhat-ifâ. I KNOW I canât give you what you need, not completely, not as I am now. ThereâsâŚâ He sighs. âI donât know how to be right for you, and Iâm scared Iâll fuck it up.â
Just like his parents did.
Jimin turns away and looks out the car window, wiping a tear rolling down his right cheek. Surely Yoongi must see how terrible of a state heâs in and decide he wants no part in Jiminâs narrative, right? Surely he must understand that Jiminâs just a dark cloud on peopleâs days.
Yoongi snorts. âHow conceited.â
What?
Jimin faces him with a sharp inhale, frowning. âExcuse me, Iâm trying to be serious hereââ
âAnd how can you claim to know whatâs best for me, Park Jimin?â
Jiminâs mouth falls closed, but his frown remains. He gnaws on his bottom lip.
Yoongi gives a soft sigh and shakes his head slightly, eyes straying the car door. âIâm hurt, Jimin-ah. Not gonna lie. If thatâs what you think.â
Jimin swallows thickly. âIâm sorry, I just- I canât help those thoughts.â
âI know.â To his surprise, Yoongi folds a hand over his.
Which is what alerts Jimin that his own hands have been shaking the whole time, in contrast to how steady Yoongiâs grip his. Warm. Solid. Thatâs all it takes for Jimin to melt forward and wrap his arms around Yoongiâs shoulders.
âI donât want to be a downer. Or hurt you, hyung.â
âMmm.â Yoongiâs arms loop around his waist, returning the embrace with a squeeze.
âIâm anxious.â
âMe too.â
âI overthink.â
âMm-hmm.â Yoongi starts gently swaying sideways, rocking Jimin along with him. âAnd?â
âYouâre the last, LAST-est person I want to drag down with me.â
Despite his rambling, thereâs something magical about being in Yoongiâs hold. The swaying helps, for one, but when their chests are pressed together this close, Jimin canât help but breathe in time with Yoongiâs evenly timed inhales and exhales, lulling him to a soothing calm.
They sit like that for what must have been less than a couple of minutes, but lasts forever in Jiminâs head. Yoongi pats the small of his back, still swaying until Jimin pulls away.
To his shock, Yoongiâs eyes are red-rimmed. âHyung?â He presses a thumb to Yoongiâs cheekbone.
Yoongiâs eyes flutter closed, leaning into his touch until Jimin eventually cradles his face with both hands, fingers ready to catch anymore threatening teardrops.
âJimin-ah,â Yoongi says coarsely, a crease forming between his brows. âWhy donât we take time to think about it?â
Jimin blinks up at him. âHuh?â
âJustâŚIâd hate to jump into this when I know weâre both overwhelmed, yeah?â Yoongi takes Jiminâs wrists and lowers them to his lap. âAfter what we just found out today, too. Letâs try to relax and calm down, enjoy the trip like weâre supposed to.â
He leans in to press a soft kiss to Jiminâs forehead. âThen weâll come back to this.â
And there it isâhope, light as petals, warm as midsummer, flaring in Jiminâs heart. Because Yoongi sees him, and always seems to have a knack for knowing what to say when Jimin needs it most.
âYou know Iâm not rejecting anything, right?â Jimin mumbles. âOr anyone.â
Yoongi raises an eyebrow. âI sure was hoping not.â
Despite himself, an amused snort escapes Jimin.
âThink about everything you want to ask and say to me,â Yoongi suggests. âAnd Iâll do the same.â
âAre we in love?â Jimin asks bluntly.
âThat, for one, makes a good first question.â Yoongi carefully extricates his arms from around Jimin and opens his side of the car door. He looks back over at Jimin and winks. âWhy donât you figure out and tell me?â
Jimin cracks a smile.
/I want to love you/, he thinks, following Yoongi out of the car with their hands still interlocked. /The way you deserve to be./
While Yoongi shuts the door, Jimin takes the chance to shuffle closer, so that when his hyung turns again, Jiminâs lips land a peck to his cheek.
Yoongi makes a surprised sound, narrows his eyes and taps Jimin by the nose. âSneaky.â
Jimin returns the gesture with a slow-blooming smile, and squeezes his hand. âThank you.â
âThat wasnât a compliment.â
âIf you say so, fuckboy red flag.â
ââŚI did this.â
Jimin giggles.
They join the others at the supermarket, and Jimin is relieved to put his mind to working on actual tangible goals. He always get psyched out when left idle for too long.
Yoongi releases his hand as they browse the condiments aisle, but lingers close, always looking over him.
ââŚIâm just saying, if tomato is a fruit, then shouldnât ketchup be a smoothie?â Jungkookâs voice floats from the next aisle over.
âYes, but no.â Namjoon hums, then adds, âI mean, we canât rule that out, but the boundaries are blurry.â
âBecause of tomato juice.â
âExactly.â
âDo you think we can make a tomato if we freeze ketchup?â Taehyungâs voice blurts.
âDude,â says Jungkook. âReverse-engineering!â
âI wouldnât recommend it,â Namjoon interjects.
Yoongi & Jimin swap pointed looks.
âThose your friends?â asks Yoongi. Jimin aims a kick at his shin.
Yoongi grins and dodges it. Jimin rolls his eyes, then turns to grab barbecue sauce from the aisle. Once theyâve completed hunting down the ingredients required, they turn & cruise another aisle.
âAh, Hallabong!â Jimin points to the organic tangerine jam. âYou like this, hyung.â
Yoongi shrugs, then pauses to regard him. âHow do you know?â
âJust a hunch.â Jimin smiles, picking up the jam jar. âWhen I crashed your place in Daegu, you were wolfing down the tangerines. A master peeler.â That was the first time Yoongi fed Jimin a tangerine piece.
âAh. That night.â Yoongi side-eyes him.
âWhat?â
âYou have no idea how much you scared me shitless, calling me and running away from your place like that. You were such a kid.â
Jimin scoffs. âI rushed to you because I was scared I wouldnât get to see you if we moved. Jerk.â
âI always knew you had a thing for me even before you knew it,â Yoongi says offhandedly. Jimin jabs him in the side, making him snort.
âPlease. You liked me first,â Jimin says confidently. âWhen was it? Was it when I sent you that first emo letter in high school?â
Yoongi side-eyes him again, then shrugs. Before he can make any form of sassy comeback, Taehyungâs voice floats over from the next aisle again.
ââŚbut what if we put caesar salad dressing and ketchup on soba noodles!â
âYour diet worries me,â Seokjin states dispassionately.
âYour hairline worries me,â Taehyung retorts, eliciting a scandalized gasp from Jungkook.
âYour lack of game worries me,â Seokjin spits back.
âRizz. The word youâre looking for is ârizzâ,â Taehyung corrects. âUpdate your vocabulary, hyung, your age is showing.â
Yoongi and Jimin turn the corner just in time to find the gang clustered together while Hoseok is asking, âWhatâs ârizzâ?â
âGoogle it,â Yoongi says, snatching a Honey Butter Chip bag from the snack aisle. He turns to Jimin. âYou used to write passages about your love for this.â
Jimin lets out a shrill coo. âMy childhood snack! Aww, you remember.â
Yoongi shrugs. âYou have a knack for doing shit I canât forget.â
Jimin beams. Jungkook makes a gagging sound.
âCongrats on getting together!â Taehyung cries, clapping.
âNo!â Yoongi and Jimin cry in unison.
âWeâre not together,â Jimin says.
âItâs complicated,â adds Yoongi.
Their friends gape at them. Time freezes. The wind stops blowing. Birds cease chirping.
Outside, from the next town over, a car radio plays too loudly.
âUh. Hmm.â Namjoon strokes his non-existent beard.
They look so confused it sends Jimin into a fit of giggles. Thereâs something settling in his gut, certain and above the ambiguity. What does the world get to have a say in what he and Yoongi share? Jimin makes a grab for Yoongiâs hand and burrows into his side.
âLike he said,â mumbles Jimin, âcomplicated.â
âComplicated things are made simpler when you TALK,â Seokjin says while calmly inspecting a can of corned beef. He shrugs. âBut oh well, who am I to talk? Letâs go, guys, chop chop. Thereâs a shit ton to prepare if you want BBQ.â
The drive back to their AirBnb is pleasant, if not quiet, because there is never a dull moment whenever the seven of them are together. When Jungkook farts, Taehyung seems to find it a challenge & forces out an even louder fart.
Seokjin yells threats to dump them on the road.
Jimin turns his head to muffle his laugh into a napping Yoongiâs sleeve, his insides tingling with the newness of his realityâhe can do this now, freely and without holding back, just leaning and reaching for Yoongi without second-guessing himself!
/Comfy/, Jimin thinks.
Later, after parking, the rest of their friends would file out of the car only to find Jimin and Yoongi knocked out, their heads slumped cozily against each other.
âQuick, take a picture,â urges Seokjin, and Hoseok would be snickering to himself while Jungkook snaps a polaroid.
âI still donât understand,â says Taehyung. âWhy canât they just date already?â
ââCause theyâre idiots,â mutters Seokjin. âThese 2 have been in love since high school. Oh, boy. Iâve been enduring their lovesick asses for years.â
âTheyâll get there,â Namjoon supposes. âSomeday.â
âJiminie.â A shaking motion jolts Jimin from his slumber. Groggy, he lifts his head and peers into Yoongiâs soft, amused eyes.
âHmm?â Jimin muffles yawn, casting his gaze around. The van doors are open, and itâs just him and Yoongi sitting now.
âWeâre here.â
âWhere?â
âBeach.â
Right, today was supposed to be their barbecue by the beach day, as per Jungkook and Taehyungâs request as soon as Seokjin and Yoongi arrived. He frowns. âShouldâve woken me earlier. The others will need our help setting up.â
Yoongi shrugs. âI just woke up too.â
âThe traitors.â
Jimin unbuckles his seatbelt, grumbling under his breath. âIâm gonna crack their knuckles and whoop their throats for leaving us knocked out with the doors /open/.â
Yoongi ruffles his hair. âYou have a foul mouth when youâre sleepy.â
âHah, my mouth is capable of sinful things.â
A warbled sound punches out of Yoongi, who sends him a pointed sidelong glance, one eyebrow arched. âSuch as?â
Jiminâs pulse jumps. To mask it, he narrows his eyes, then pushes Yoongiâs face playfully, before wriggling out of his seat. âCanât tell. Spoils the surprise. Câmon.â
âWhat surprise?â Yoongi makes a grab for his sleeve, but Jimin shrugs him off, grinning. âYah, what surprise?â
But Jimin just hops off the van and scuttles towards the direction of the shoreline, giggling to Yoongiâs muttered grumblings of âbratâ and âwhat did I sign up forâ.
The scenario they come to is a stoneâs throw away from disaster, to put it tactfully.
There is Namjoon, newly ousted by Jungkook & Taehyung from setting up the tents. Stalking away, he sulks until Hoseok brightly calls him over to start the fire for the grill. Namjoon lights up.
His efforts are⌠less than desirable, because 2 minutes later Seokjin returns to their little camp from fetching the ingredients and finds Hoseok having a meltdown because the grill is /charred/ and Namjoon is hanging his head sheepishly. Seokjin, in turn, bans him from cooking.
âHoseok, you go help with the tents, the kids are having trouble figuring it out. Namjoon, you,â Seokjin inhales deeply, then glimpses a baby potato. He grabs it and presses it into the panicking gentle giantâs hands. âHere. Take the potato peeler and sit there.â
Namjoon nods.
âNow, is there /anyone/ here who can actually cookâ oh, Yoongi-yah, how nice of you to finally join us.â
Jimin gives Yoongi a little push. âGo. Iâll check in on the tents.â
He jogs over to help the younger guys set up 2 large tents, because apparently theyâre staying the night.
ââŚI can survive in the wild on my own,â Taehyung is saying while pulling the tent material taut while Jungkook inserts the âbonesâ that keep them upright. âI was a Boy Scout.â
âI wanted to be a Boy Scout,â says Jungkook. âOr an astronaut.â
âBut?â
âBut I chose graphic design.â
Jimin smiles to himself as, wordlessly, he picks up some tent pieces and waits for instructions from Hoseok, whoâs the only one actually reading the manual.
Every now and then he glances at his friends, fond. Taehyung, who always encouraged him to step out of his comfort zone.
Jungkook, ever the listening ear to Jiminâs bursts of impassioned rambling, patient even at his most clueless. Jimin used to wipe chocolate ice cream from his mouth; nowadays itâs Jungkook who encourages him to wipe his tears & try again.
And Hoseokâsunshine, comfort, a brother.
Someday when Jimin is the person he wants to be, heâll repay them for all their unconditional grace and kindness.
âI love you guys,â he lets slip, a second too late before cringing at himself. The other three freeze in place.
Then Taehyung leaps at him, arms out, grinning wide.
âWhatâs gotten into you, bestie~â He smooshes his cheek against Jiminâs and prsctically squeezes the breath out of his lungs. Jimin squirms until heâs released. He catches Jungkook âhehehehe-ingâ to himself, before sending him a thumbs up.
âLove you, bro! Letâs go boxing soon.â
âSince when was boxing your thing?â asks Jimin as he resumes putting together the tent parts.
âSince this month.â
âI never saw youâŚâ
âThatâs âcause you were busy making googly eyes at your Yoongi-hyung,â replies Jungkook matter-of-factly, âwhoâs your counselor, and soulmate.â
âHeâs not- weâre notâŚâ Jimin flushes, trailing off while his fingers fumble for the steel pendant around his neck. He and Yoongi still have a long way to go.
âYet,â says Taehyung, humming to himself. âItâs okay. You donât need to be a thing already just âcause youâre in love.â
At this, Jimin casts a glance at Hoseok, but his cousin is too busy stealing his own glances at Taehyung, eyes alight with an emotion Jimin can only describe as amused curiosity.
âRight, hyung?â Taehyung winks.
Hoseok clears his throat and flicks his gaze back to the manual.
Jimin hums in thought. Taehyung isnât wrongâin fact, Jimin himself wants to go as slow as he can when it comes to Yoongi, because he matters too much, and Jimin doesnât want to entertain the possibility of having to lose him because of a fuckup. âHow do you know if heâs the one?â
Jungkook taps his chin, then smiles to himself. Twisting a bolt, he gives a simple answer. âWhen being with him is easier than being without.â
Something in Jimin calms, like a wave coming to a standstill, and the long sigh he lets out is one of relieved acceptance, because /oh/.
Those three years in Australia had made him feel so⌠old, weary, heavy with a weight he couldnât shake off. Being without Yoongi, even just as a friend, had been torturous. Leaving Korea was tough /because/ Yoongi was home.
Jimin comes to understand this with a honey-melt swoop in his tummy, goosebumps like light from a new sunrise slowly crawling from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, coaxing him to wakefulness. He turns to look at Yoongi, is warmed when he finds /heâs already looking/.
Yoongi tosses him a quick nod with the slightest quirk of his lips. Jimin smiles bashfully and trains his gaze back to the tent flap that heâs working on. âIâm just⌠Yoongi-hyung is so, so important. If something goes wrong and we break up, Iâll never forgive myself, shit.â
âIf something goes wonky, then fix it,â Jungkook says in an almost scolding tone. He points a tent pole at Jimin. âDonât be lazy.â
Jimin scowls.
âNot everyone leaves at the first sign of trouble,â Hoseok supplies mildly.
âYea. Not everyone is like you,â quips Jungkook.
âHey!â
Jimin shoots Jungkook his best pout, but Jungkook just swats his forearm lightly, which for some reason motivates Taehyung to swat him back. In retaliation, Jungkook spins and pokes Taehyung, and before long a pseudo-fencing match ensues between the two.
âEn garde. Pret. Allez!â
Hoseok shakes his head. It takes another scolding and a gentle sequestering of potential-tent-parts-as-weaponry before the two tents actually begin to take shape. Not long after, the four of them stand back, proudly surveying their handiwork.
âTeamwork makes the dream work.â
While the other hyungs wrap up with the meal preparation, Taehyung suggests taking a dip in the shallow waters. Before long theyâre stripped down to their swimming trunks, splashing and racing each other across the shore while Hoseok keeps watch.
/Itâs been a while/, Jimin thinks, but his wandering thoughts are cast aside when Jungkook grabs his ankle and tugs him underwater. Jimin resurfaces and growls, sloshing through the water to chase his friend.
Jungkook squeals and hides behind Taehyung, who then pushes him down.
/Itâs been a while/, Jimin thinks again, watching the people he loves trying to outdo each other, /since Iâve laughed this freely./
That these are the people he ended up with is nothing short of miraculous. And half of them wouldnât be here with him if not for Yoongi.
Jimin whips his head around to look at the hyung in question, expecting Yoongiâs eyes to be on him again. But this time round he catches Yoongi in deep conversation with Namjoon on the beach chairs. Thereâs a somber expression on Yoongiâs face.
Jimin raises his arm and waves.
Yoongi looks so pale and delicate like this, sitting shaded from the sun.
When his movements catch Yoongiâs eye, Jimin is surprised that Yoongi doesnât return the wave. Instead his hyung seems to say a couple of more stuff to Namjoon, eyebrows dipping to deepen his frown.
âJimin-sshi!â Jungkook cries from where heâs now kneeling into the sand, building a tail over Taehyungâs legs. âCome over, Taehyung wants to be a merman.â
At the sight of his friendsâ silly antics, a slow grin forms on Jiminâs face. He pads over to Taehyung side, joining in.
As the afternoon gradually wanes to dusk, soju is whipped out to accompany the barbecued skewers being passed around, the scent of alcohol and grilled meat mouthwatering. At some point Seokjin brings out a ukulele and bursts into a drunken, off-key rendition of BTZâs âWalk BTZâ.
Jimin drinks enough to get buzzed, and he retires to one of the tents to keep from getting too smashed, lest he gets a horrible headache come morning. After splashing his face with some water and gargling some mouthwash, he collapses into a nest of pillows and cushions, sighing.
Vaguely, heâs aware of a new presence stepping in when the tent flap opens and a silhouette falls across the far wall.
âHey.â
Smiling sleepily, Jimin rolls around to his side, peering up at his first love. Even under the dim light, Yoongiâs rosy face glows. âHey yourself.â
âNot feeling up to party?â Yoongi lowers himself to a cross-legged position next to Jimin, who wrinkles his nose.
âKinda queasy after all that meat.â
Yoongi chortles, eyes steady on his. âProtein is good for you.â
âHyung.â
âYeah?â
âDoes it turn you off that I was Sprout?â
Itâs a thought thatâs been building up in Jiminâs head for the whole afternoon now ever since the whole identity revealâwould Yoongi find him too pathetic, now that he knows how dreary Jimin has gotten over years?
âWhat makes you think that?â Yoongi asks, voice muted and hoarse.
Hereâs the thingâthe Jimin that Yoongi knows, and probably recalls fondly from their earlier yearsâwas a lot more sunny and bubbly. The person he is NOW, thoughâŚ
Jimin gnaws on his lower lip. âIâm not the Jimin you first met. Iâm not sunshine anymore, yâknow? Not the same.â
He has to make sure that Yoongi knows what heâs getting into, if they ever decide to become anything more intimate than friends. âI just think you should know.â
âI know.â To Jiminâs surprise, hands with calloused fingers are working their way into his hair, carressing softly.
âOne thing remains the same, though.â Yoongiâs timbre takes on a strong, confident timbre, albeit the words are still murmured. His hands slide down to Jiminâs nape as he leans down with a gentle smile. âYouâre still warm.â
/I want someone warm./ Same words heâd said back then.
âI know youâve been saying you like warm people,â Jimin blubbers brokenly, almost beside himself, âBut hyung! What if Iâm /hot & spicy?!/â He buries his face in his hands, blind to the way Yoongi is muffling a snort behind his own hand. âThen I donât meet your criteria anymore!â
Yoongi flicks his forehead.
âOw! Hey!â
âThatâs what you get for being an idiot.â And then the cushions next to Jimin are rustling as Yoongi crawls into the space beside his, hands cradling Jiminâs head under his chin. âHot and spicy is good for the winter, so I canât complain.â
âYouâre SUCH an idiot, itâs summer now.â
âYouâre an idiot for not getting that I want you still,â Yoongiâs words send a tremor quaking through Jiminâs chest. âSummer, winter, fall, whatever season, Park Jimin. If itâs not you then Iâd rather stick this one out alone. Fuck.â
Jiminâs mouth falls shut. No thoughts, head empty. He blinks, eyelashes fanning against the collar of Yoongiâs tee with how close they are.
âThat was a mic drop moment,â he quips through his hummingbird heartbeat.
âBetter be. Get that through that thick skull of yours.â
Jimin swallows thickly, and the next time he speaks his voice is cracks with emotion. Clutching the hem of Yoongiâs tee, he mumbles, âThank you.â
Yoongi hums, curling an arm around Jiminâs shoulders. âNow enough negative talk. Tell me something good, marigold.â
âLike what?â
âAnything.â
Jimin racks his brain for some cool piece of trivia that he can possibly impart, but his mind comes up blank. With a sigh, he closes his eyes and settles against Yoongiâs chest. âThis. This is good.â
He feels rather than sees Yoongiâs Adamâs apple bob up and down.
âYeah?â Yoongi whispers hoarsely, his throat vibrating against Jiminâs forehead.
Jimin hums. There are words trying to climb out of him, each confession lodged deep in the walls of his chest, but there they seem to stayâsmothered by his tipsiness. âTell me something good, too.â
Yoongi falls quiet for a long moment, the silence a sweet breath petering out between them, before speaking quietly. âEvery letter from you. Since the first one.â
Jimin tilts his chin up in an attempt to catch Yoongiâs eye. âReally?â
Yoongi nods. âYour spelling improved a lot.â
Jimin lightly smacks his chest with a disgruntled snort. âBe serious.â
âI am, heyâisnât improvement a good thing?â
âI hate you.â
Yoongi chuckles lowly. âThe feeling is not mutual.â
At this, Jimin squeaks. He scoots closer to squish his face into Yoongiâs shirt, cheeks warm.
But then stray thought hits himâ âWait. If you liked every letter I sent, does that mean you enjoyed Sproutâs letters, too? Even when you didnât know it was me?â
âAre you seriously being jealous of yourself right now?â
âHyung, for real though. Did you have a crush on Sprout?â
Yoongi pulls back, one skeptical eyebrow raised at him. âDo you think I would have rejected your offer to try and date as a rebound?â His demeanor cracks with a small smile. âConsidering you were trying to get over⌠meâŚâ
Jimin groans and covers his face. âForget I asked.â
Yoongi grabs his wrist, the smile on his face now showing his gums. âNah, nah. Youâre not gonna live that down.â
Jimin cringes, the heat in his cheeks creeping to his ears, but at the same time he bursts into a sheepish giggle. âThat was a loser move.â
âDunno, it was cute.â
Itâs not a teasing tone this time. Jimin glances at Yoongiâs face, surprised to find that Yoongiâs amused expression has softened.
Yet another reason why Yoongiâs presence is so irreplaceably comfortingâhe never laughs AT Jimin when heâs being self-deprecating, only /with/ him.
Jiminâs fingers reach up to brush gently against Yoongiâs jaw. âThis is a good thing, too.â
âWhat, that I declined rebound status?â
âFunny.â
âThank you, I try.â
With an eyeroll, Jimin huffs. âThat you donât laugh /at/ me. It makes me feel allowed to justâŚI dunno, go stupid.â
Yoongi blinks, then brings his gaze down, settling on the pendant hanging around Jiminâs neck. âHonestly, from me to you, same.â
A pause. Jimin patiently waits, suppressing a yawn of exhaustion. âMm?â
âWhen Iâm- when Iâm with you, I feel like Iâm doing something right.â
Jimin curls in closer, draping one arm over the dip in Yoongiâs waist. Blames it on the soju-induced drowsiness for making tongue looser now that heâs comfortable. âWhen Iâm with you the chaos in my head goes quiet. And then Iâm safe.â
Yoongi lets out a shallow exhale. âMe too.â
âThe first night I arrived in Seoul,â Jimin murmurs, his words slightly slurring together as he closes his eyes, âIfeltsonervous. But my uncle picked me up. Aunt Miseon gave me soup.â His mind replays Hoseokâs smile. âI rememberâit was so warm. It was February, but it was warm.â
Yoongiâs arms tighten around him.
âIn Perth,â Jimin continues, half-adrift in slumber, âI just microwaved whatever canned soup was on the discount aisle. And our eomma wasnât eomma anymore.â He yawns again. âJust, not mine or Jihyunâs. Someone elseâs mother. I wanted her back.â
âI have a half-sister, you know.â Jimin tucks his face into Yoongiâs shirt again. âI wonder if she knows my name. I wonder why I care.â Maybe tomorrow heâll have the courage to find answers, to ask questions. âAppa sold the house.â
He yawns one last time, then succumbs to sleep.
Heâs unaware of the tears forming at the corners of Yoongiâs eyes, of the way Yoongi presses trembling lips to his forehead. âItâs okay, Mimi. You have family here. Right here.â
He sighs, dims the tentâs lightbulb, and fades into the nightâs hour with Jimin in his firm embrace.
tbc, iâm sorry for the short updates, December is especially hectic
if youâd like to kindly support me, h-hereâs my kofi. Your generosity will not be taken for granted.
ko-fi.com/kyrifics
Jimin is running. The road ahead is limned in shadows, but thereâs a trickle of bright light from a distance. He runs for it, but with each footfall his legs feel heavier, and when he looks down he finally realizes that he isnât running, but actually sloshing waist-deep in water.
Water rises continually until it ripples against his chest, and eventually closes in on his throat. His lungs heave in panic. His arms thrash about, his mouth pitching open in a desperate scream.
Then, from behind, a wooden raft boat drifts by. Inside sits a man with a paddle.
Jimin cries for rescue, stretching out both arms. The sailor peers over the side of his boatâitâs Yoongi-hyung!
Yoongi blinks & grasps his hands. Jiminâs chest loosens with relief. He asks to be hoisted over, but to his surprise Yoongi pauses.
And then Jiminâs grip is slipping.
âHurry!â he pleads, attempting to give himself a boost, but the freezing water beneath him is bottomless, sucking him like a vacuum. Yoongi tilts his head, a funny expression on his face. While he doesnât withdraw his hand, he doesnât exactly tighten his hold either.
Jimin grows frantic. He kicks with his legs and clamors for purchase, but his hands are wet with a storm of his own gathering, making it hard to hold onto Yoongi. Making him afraid to bring the storm onto Yoongiâs boat.
Lips trembling, Jimin falls still, hands slipping further.
His eyes bulge open to a darkened campung tent, his forehead drenched in sweat.
Jimin blinks repeatedly, letting the rapid rise and fall of his chest ground the erratic visions clouding his mindâs eye.
A nightmare. He hasnât had one of those in a while. Why now?
His right hand pats the space beside him, frowning to find it empty. Warm, but empty.
With a muffled groan, Jimin sits up, rubbing his eyes. The tent flap is partially unzipped, revealing the beginnings of an indigo dawn.
Jimin crawls out, carefully picking his way over the intertwined sleeping forms of Hoseok and Taehyung. As soon as he steps out, he stretches and yawns, scanning the shoreline. Itâs different from last nightâquieter, calmer and somehow moreâ
There.
Sitting by the rocks.
Yoongiâs pale skin stands out against the charcoal-rocky waters, his dark hair mussed by the sea breeze, falling over his eyes. Jiminâs entire being aches with undisputed longing at the sight of him.
He stands there for a long stolen moment, simply admiring his person.
[a/n: this is gonna be the last song Iâm asking you all to read for this AU itâs on the DMF playlist!]
open.spotify.com/track/6Flllj0iâŚ
Ridiculous how he once believed he could ever settle for loving a non-Yoongi.
âPenny for your thoughts,â he greets quietly, hoisting himself over the rocks to sit beside Yoongi.
Yoongiâs faraway gaze softens when it lands on Jiminâs face. âMorning.â
âWhatcha lookinâ at?â
A shrug. âJust admiring the therapeutic scenery.â
Water. Like in his nightmare.
Jimin shifts uncomfortably, but forces himself to take in even breaths, eyes settling on a far-off island across the deep blue while the skyâs hue gradually lightens.
âWhatâs the matter?â Yoongi asks. Jimin turns to face him, eyebrows rising. âYou seem bothered.â
Jimin gives a wry laugh. âYou take one look at my just-woke-up face and decides thereâs a problem? Sheesh, hyung. And here I thought I was cute sleepy.â
Yoongi rolls his eyes, then folds his hand over Jiminâs resting one on the rocky space between them. âYou are. So tell hyung.â
A fuzzy warmth flares in Jiminâs gut, and he curls in closer against Yoongiâs side. âBad dream, thatâs all.â
âAbout?â
Jimin blinks down at their linked hands, taking in the very real warmth of Yoongiâs palm. He sighs, chest tightening. âAbout having all this, only to lose you.â
âJimin.â
âYou told me to think about everything I want to say and ask you, before jumping into anything.â Jimin shifts his gaze from their hands to Yoongiâs keen eyes.
âYeah?â
âSo Iâve been thinking all day yesterday. And⌠hyung.â Jimin pulls their hands to his lap.
For the first time in a long time, Jimin speaks his heart.
âYouâre my best friend. Youâre my first love. That makes you doubly terrifying to start something with, because then if things go south, I lose double. But that alsoââ Jimin gulps, âthat makes you twice as precious.â
Against the gleam of an approaching dawn, Yoongiâs eyes glisten.
âAnd I donât want to ruin this.â Jimin squeezes his hand. âBecause I donât justâ Iâm not just in love with you.â
/I am in the condition of loving. Always have, even amidst hate./
âSo,â Jimin says. âBear with me.â
Yoongi hums, nodding while keeping his eyes trained on their hands. He wiggles his hand and proceeds to play with Jiminâs fingers. âJimin-ah.â
âHmmm?â
âIâve been bearing with you this whole time, though.â
Jimin scoffs, rolls his eyes, and smacks Yoongiâs arm. âRomance killer.â
Irked, he loosens his grip and attempts to snatch his hand back. A chuckle winds out of Yoongi as he squeezes Jiminâs hand and tugs it back to his lap this time. âNoted. Thank you, marigold.â He turns around to face Jimin betterm. âCan I ask you something?â
Jiminâs brows crinkle together. âYeah?â
âWhat makes you feel loved?â
Itâs a disarming thing to ask. Yoongi has never struck him as the type of person to bother with details so seemingly sentimental, yet here he isâdark eyes earnest, face turned to Jimin, the sea behind him.
/What indeed?/ Jimin racks his brain for a straightforward answer, mouth curving down.
âCause I- I donât wanna ruin this, too,â Yoongi adds, following Jiminâs awed silence. He clears his throat. âSo, I was wondering. If there was something I could do on my part- I meanââ
âYou.â
Yoongi pauses mid-sentence, eyes alight with his answer, but then he scoffs & pinches Jiminâs side, making him squirm. âIâm talking specifics. Like, okay, we learn this in psych. Do you know your love language?â
âWhatâs yours?â
âI asked you first.â Yoongi studies him intently.
Jimin tilts his head. âIâm not sure. But I guess I feel safest when you- when youâre around, listening to me, letting me speak my mind:â He glances down at their intertwined hands. âAnd I feel grounded when Iâm connected to you. I donât like feeling shut out. Or radio silence.â
Because those years spent without any correspondence whatsoever with Yoongi were some of Jiminâs most miserable. Without Yoongiâs calm, steadying presence, Jimin was an anchorless boat, cast adrift with no land in sight. He curls in closer against Yoongiâs side. âAh, and food.â
âFood?â
Jimin nods. âKimchi jjigae.â
Yoongiâs face smooths out with repressed amusement. He nicks Jiminâs nose. âYou just like it when I cook so you wouldnât have to.â
âThis is me /complimenting/ you.â Jimin makes a face. âMake me food.â
âOnly when youâre sick.â
âBoooo.â
Jimin clucks his tongue, folding his arms. âWhat if I never fall sick again? Then Iâll never get to eat your stuff.â
Yoongi tugs their hands into his lap again, tracing invisible patterns on the back of Jiminâs hand. Thereâs a small smile playing on his lips.
âWhat?â
âWhat.â
Jimin gapes at him, eyes narrowing. âQuit mimicking me.â
Yoongi winks, then looks out over the lightening horizon, framed in half by the rippling sea. âWanna know something?â
âWhat.â
âIâve felt off centre my entire life,â says Yoongi. âNot a main character of my own story.â
Jiminâs play-annoyance simmers away as he leans in, ears perked. âThatâs notââ
âPeople with anxiety like me,â Yoongi continues, patting Jiminâs hand to let him finish first, âsorry, Iâm on a rollâ we tend to live in the sidelines. Yeah? So imagine you coming in, guns blazing.â
Jimin cringes, sheepish.
âNot a bad thing,â Yoongi is quick to reassure with a light nudge. âBut ever since we were kids, youâve always been curious. Like you wanted to know me. And /see/ me. How should I put this⌠you make me aware Iâm neither small nor obscure. Iâm alive.â
He murmurs the words gingerly, as though afraid that if he dare say them too loud, the winds might hear his secret or whisk Jimin away. Jiminâs eyes sting, and he squeezes Yoongiâs hand. âI never did much, hyung. Itâs always you who does more.â
âYou were there when it counted.â
Jiminâs heart is somersaulting, Jiminâs wants to launch itself out to the sea. Jiminâs heart is here, a dark-haired mirage with a mind of steel.
âSo just be here,â Yoongi adds. âYou wonât ruin things. Just be here, Iâll handle the rest.â
Jimin lets out a soft exhale. âDamn.â
Heâs more than inclined to lean in as a cue to request for a kiss, but Yoongi doesnât seem to be done yet. Heâs fumbling for something in his pockets, muttering under his breath, then pulls out a chain that gleams silver in the rising sunâa necklace achingly similar to Jiminâs.
âIs thatâ?â
Yoongi nods, his close-lipped, bracket smile showing. âOur harabeojiâs half. The one around your neck was the one he gifted halmeoni.â
Jiminâs mouth hangs open as his fingers reach out carefully, touching the suspended pendant. This one is carved in a darker color.
âItâs gorgeous,â Jimin says. âWhy donât you wear it?â
Yoongi ducks his head, and a silence falls like a curtain between them. Jimin nudges his shoulder. âI wore it under my clothes⌠while you were gone. But then you returned but stopped wearing yours, so. I took it off, too.â
Jimin groans and knocks his fist against his own head. âThat was a dumb move, Iâm so sorry, hyung, holy shit. I didnât think you cared anymoreââ
Yoongi glares at him.
Jiminâs words taper off into squeaky chuckles, and he cradles the back of Yoongiâs head with gentle fondness.
âHere,â says Jimin, coaxing the necklace out of Yoongiâs fingers. âLet me.â
With extra care, he lifts the chain over Yoongiâs ducked head, then lets pendant settle against Yoongiâs collarbone. âThere we go. Back where it belongs.â Jimin grins, hands reaching for his own pendant.
A memory sparks in his mindâheadlights approaching, an autumn night, Yoongiâs puffs of breath misting the air. It feels like a different lifetime. âThat time at the bus stopâit was my first, you know.â
Yoongiâs eyes go round. âReally?â
âYep.â Jiminâs cheeks flame.
ââŚme, too.â
âNo way,â breathes Jimin, shifting back to look at Yoongi more fully.
But heâs avoiding his gaze, picking at his nails, 2 splotches of rose pinking his cheeks.
Oh.
Okay, this is cool. A giddy warmth floods Jimin, and he chortles to himself, fiddling with his chain. Very cool.
âBut didnât you have a girlfriend in middle school or something,â Jimin supplies, raising his eyebrows in what he hopes is an expression of interrogative nonchalance. âSooha?â
Yoongi shrugs. âAnd?â
âYou never kissed?â
âI donât just kiss anyone, dude.â
âBro.â Jimin grins.
Yoongi shakes his head, gums showing, then ruffles his own hair. He sighs and looks out into the shore. âAt least I get to flex that I got your first kiss, not Taemin.â
âWhatââ Jimin bursts into guffaws, doubling over. Is Yoongi implying what he thinks he is? âWhat do you mean?â
âYou know damn well what I mean, marigold.â
âNo, âcauseâŚâ Jimin lets his words trail off, smiling as he regards Yoongiâs scarlet face. âWhat other âfirstsâ do you think Taemin got from me, hyung?â
Yoongi burrows his head into his arms. âAh, I donât know. Itâs cool, whatever.â
Jimin glances down at his hand cradling his necklace. âIf you must know, we never did.â
Yoongiâs head has never snapped up faster. âWhat?â
âI couldnât- I justââ Jimin sighs and shrugs. âHeck, I couldnât even take this necklace off wherever I went in Australia.â
He licks his lower lip, heartbeat quickening. Jimin clears his throat. âYou were always at the back of my mind, hyung. Like a song I canât erase.â He rubs the back of his neck, bashful. âWhat was I supposed to sayââthe guitar pick necklace stays on during sexâ?â
Yoongi stares.
Jimin cocks his head to one side, re-evaluating his words. âWell I mean, technically itâs not that you CANâT have sex with other stuff on, like clothes, but what Iâm tryna say here is that it was significant enough to notââ
Yoongiâs fingers wrap around Jiminâs pendant and pulls.
Jimin has only a split second to eke out a yelp before Yoongiâs lips are crashing against his, hungry and possessive, one hand clutching Jiminâs pendant while the other snakes around the dip in his waist.
Jimin relaxes, draping his arms around Yoongiâs neck.
(c): @adriđĽslow
And though theyâve kissed plenty of times before, itâs as if Jiminâs chest was a hollow, soundless chamber all along, and Yoongiâs kiss is a familiar echo, reverberating at first contact. Jimin decides he doesnât want to count their kisses anymore.
He doesnât have to.
He realizes this at the same time he feels Yoongi smiling into their kiss. Jimin hums, half-dazed and dizzy with delirium, one hand curling into Yoongiâs soft hair while the other squeezes into a tight fist.
Yoongi pulls back a fraction to whisper against his lips. âI love you.â
Jiminâs eyes water. He squeezes his eyelids shut, the skin between his brows creasing, and pulls Yoongi close enough to feel the duet of their breathsârise, fall. Rise, fall. He keeps one hand resting on the nape of Yoongiâs neck, fingers scratching lightly at baby hairs there.
/Alive/, Jimin thinks, feeling lit from within. /Iâm alive./
So this is what Yoongi means.
âSo letâs take our time,â Yoongi says softly, giving Jiminâs waist a squeeze. âYouâre my best friend, too. I want to learn how to- to love you, in a way you understand. And vice versa.â
Jimin is only vaguely aware of the waves making a din amidst rising tides. Seagulls prance about the sandâa brave one lands on the rocky outcropping near them. None of these can steal his attention from Yoongiâs earnest gaze.
He nods. Yoongi wipes a thumb against his cheek.
âTeach me how to love you in a way you understand,â Jimin echoes. âYou have no idea how affirming it is to hear that.
They donât have to rush. There is peace in knowing that a yearned-for âsomedayâ is in the cards for them.
Yoongi smiles and presses his lips to Jiminâs temple.
/Snap/. A film camera shutter goes off nearby. Both Jimin and Yoongiâs heads turn to find a certain Kim Taehyung grinning cheekily, camera slung on a leather strap around his neck.
âThat oneâs for the books,â Taehyung shows a thumbs up. âCongrats on getting your shit together!â
Yoongi curses under his breath. âLittle fucking shit, give me thatââ
Taehyung gasps, already backing away. âSwearing so early in the morning, hyung? Very un-slay of you. Donât worry, yâall cute.â
Jimin muffles his giggle with a hand.
âAnyway, I come bearing a message.â
âWhat is it?â Jimin is all-too-aware of Yoongiâs hand resting on his knee.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, and belts out in his best Seokjin impersonatiom voice, ââYAH, I understand couples being sappy as shit and congrats on that, but maybe a quick hand with the stove, Yoongi?ââ
Yoongi snorts, but slides off the rock. He holds out a hand to steady Jimin, who follows suit. âWhatâs he planning for breakfast, anyway?â
Taehyung shrugs. âI want Pokemon bread.â
âWe have convenience stores for that.â
âYeah. Gonna raid some with Namjoon-hyung and Kook later!â
âMe too!â Jimin says, grinning. âWhile the hyungs make food!â
Yoongi grumbles, âI knew you only wanted me for what I can bring to the table.â
Jimin laughs. As soon as Taehyung plods ahead, he kisses Yoongiâs cheek, before running back to the family theyâve chosen, hand in hand.
[ONE WEEK LATER]
One fine Saturday, Yoongi uploads a photo on his Instagram, and his band (and their small but loyal legion of supporters) go berserk. Mostly his bandmates, though.
[yeonjuned]
AYY? whomstâve
[kaikai]
SOFT LAUNCH?!??
[hajoon]
[iDK]
introduce him to us pls
Which is why heâs smiling like a doofus as he enters the Cacao Crushers that afternoon, and thatâs how Jimin spots him as soon as the entrance bell chimes.
âWhatâre you so happy about?â he asks as soon as Yoongi approaches the counter. Heâs been coming in almost daily.
When Yoongiâs eyes flicker from his phone screen to Jiminâs curious face, the mirth in them softens with a warmth he only reserves for Jimin. âHi.â
Jimin smiles, leaning his forearms on the counter, and Yoongi subtly brushes their fingers together before showing his phone.
Jiminâs eyes widen when he sees the latest upload. âIsnât that the mirror selfie we took in your room yesterday?â
âIsnât it cute? The boys are curious about you now, asking who the other person in the picture is, not knowing theyâve already met you.â Yoongi smiles to himself.
âWould they be okay with it? And, hyungâ thatâs your public Instagram.â Jimin gulps and tugs at his collar. âIs that okay?â
Yoongi gives him a pointed look. âYou say Iâm a rational and calculated person.â
âAnd youâre making a calculated risk.â
âNot a risk, just my reality.â
Jiminâs stomach swoops. How Yoongi always manages to say things that sends butterflies sprawling all throughout his tummy, heâll never figure out.
âUnless⌠youâre uncomfy with it?â Yoongi peers at him worriedly.
âWhat? No, I was worried if thatâd make /you/ uncomfortable.â
Yoongi shakes his head, eyes going round. âI donât do things Iâm not cool with.â
Heâs the coolest person Jiminâs ever had the privilege of loving. With a small chuckle, Jimin leans his chin over one palm and just smiles up at Yoongi dopily.
Then someone clears their throat.
Itâs from a stranger behind Yoongi, and only then does Jimin realize theyâve held up enough to create a line for ordering. Jimin straightens up and adjust his apron, putting on his best professional voice. âSo will it be decaf for today?â
Yoongi nods, eyes on Jimin. âThe usual.â
Jimin keys in his order. While handing the receipt over, Yoongi lets his touch linger over Jiminâs knuckles.
âThanks,â he murmurs, dark eyes seeming to pull Jimin in. âCute earrings, marigold.â
Heat creeps up Jiminâs neck and he fiddles with his chrysanthemum-shaped studs.
He joins Yoongi at Table 7 after his shift ends. Itâs quickly becoming a new routine Jimin is happy to settle intoâYoongi comes into the cafĂŠ and waits for him to finish before either heading out for a meal or staying in to do work in companionate silence. Today, itâs the latter.
Jimin spends a solid ten minutes complaining about a rude customer from that morning. In return, Yoongi shares that Jihyun passed the audition, and has been offered to train as a drummer and producer under many different seniors, including Yoongi.
âYour brother is talented.â
âHe better be,â Jimin replies after taking a sip of his frappe. âAfter that runaway stint he pulled. Heâs really banking on music as a career.â
Yoongi glances up at him, then tugs out paper napkin to wipe cream from Jiminâs mouth. âI swear, youâre a baby.â
Jimin grins impishly.
Yoongi rolls his eyes at his expression, then returns his attention to his laptop. Heâs got his little portable beatmaker on the table, so Jimin can only assume heâs working on new music. He pats Yoongiâs knuckles in silent encouragement while he busies himself across him.
They only leave well after the sun has set, bidding goodbye to Hoseok and Kangwoo on closing shift before stepping out into the night. A cooling drizzle greets them; Jimin takes out his umbrella right away.
âCanât let your equipment get wet,â he says, linking arms with Yoongi.
Yoongi snorts, but curls into his touch. âTold you. My backpackâs waterproof.â
âYouâre not, though.â
Yoongi glances skeptically at him as they slowly march over the slippery pavement. âYouâre not either. Look, your shoulderâs already damp, Jimin-ah.â
âItâs cool.â
âCome here.â
âIâm literally glued to your side, hyung.â
Yoongi says nothing. A few seconds later, Jimin feels the weight of his arm slowly draping over his shoulderâthe side exposed to the weather.
âNo getting sick.â
Jimin muffles a laugh. âWhy not?â
ââCause then youâd whine for my soup.â
âIsnât that great? Iâm giving you an opportunity to impress me with your cooking skills,â Jimin claps back.
âI have better skills than that.â
Jimin squints at him. âLike?â
âWouldnât you like to know.â Yoongi keeps his expression stoic. âBut Iâm keeping it PG.â
Jimin flushes.
To distract himself from the heat gathering at his cheeks, he smacks Yoongiâs chest lightly. âIâm gonna strangle you.â
âIf youâre into that.â
âHyung!â Jimin muffles a loud short by burying his face into Yoongiâs arm. âI swear.â
Itâs only been a week, after all.
Yoongi ruffles his hair and turns slightly to press a chaste peck against Jiminâs cheek. âCome on. Iâm walking you home.â
âYou say that like youâre doing me a huge favor when itâs literally just the next street over.â
âHow about you shut up and let me be a good boyfriend?â
Jiminâs chest tightens blissfully at the word, but he clears his throat. âMake me.â
They havenât really made things official, as far as he knowsâever since their Jeju trip, theyâve only agreed to âtake it slowâ. Technically, they have no label. Yet.
Yoongi scoffs.
As they pick their way over small puddles and turn the corner into the Jung residenceâs street, Jimin decides to bring up something heâs been planning for a while now. âIâm going to Busan tomorrow, by the way.â
Yoongi stops in his tracks. The rain patters on. Jimin looks back.
âWhat?â he prompts, backtracking to keep his hyung under shelter.
âWhat for?â asks Yoongi cautiously.
Jimin hums sheepishly. âBeen on my mind for a while, actually. I heard appa sold the house and turned it into a cafĂŠ so, I donât know. I might visit.â
âYou didnât tell me.â
âOh.â Jimin blinks. âWell, now Iâm telling you.â
They start pacing towards the Jung residence again, but the newfound silence from Yoongi is unsettling.
âSay something?â Jimin nudges him with a tinge of worry.
Yoongi licks his bottom lip. âWhy didnât you mention it earlier?â
Jimin makes a sour, bewildered face. âI mean, did I have to? Why do youâ are you mad or something?â
Yoongi blinks, then casts his eyes to the wet street. âAre you going alone?â
âDo you want to come?â
âI-â Yoongi blows air through clenched teeth. âIâve got stuff on tomorrow.â
âYouâre being weird.â Jimin backs away a step, regarding him suspiciously. âI canât put a finger to it, but you sound upset.â
âIâm justââYoongi runs a hand through his hair and sighsââperplexed.â
âWhy?â
âDid it not occur to you to let me accompany you?â
âYou donât have toââ
âBut Iâd want to.â Yoongi shakes his head. âYou donât always have to do things on your own, Park Jimin. Iâm here. I keep telling youââ
âIt didnât occur to me,â Jimin says, feeling hot with the implied accusation, âbecause I know youâre busy and weâre not anything official, so.â
If thereâs anything scarier than a stormy-eyed Yoongi, itâs his expressionless, unreadable face. He stares at Jimin for a long, unbearably wordless moment.
Jimin glances down at his shoes stubbornly. âYouâre not /obligated/ to be with me everywhere, you know.â
Yoongi exhales.
Contrary to their bubbling, lighthearted atmosphere earlier, now the air feels stretched thin between them. Jimin clenches his jaw, not really understanding how the mood took such a dark turn.
Yoongi shakes his head. âJust go home, Park Jimin.â
Heâs calling him by full name.
âYeah, youâre mad,â Jimin concludes. âI donât wantââ
Yoongi holds up one finger, the other hand massaging the bridge of his nose. âJust head inside. Itâll rain harder soon.â
âI donât getââ
âJimin-ah. If you donât go right now, I might say something Iâll regret, so please.â
Jimin bites his lower lip to keep from snapping back, and nods mutely. He blinks back the burning sensation building up behind his eyes, head beginning to spin with a sudden avalanche of confusion, hurt and irritation. âWhatever.â
âYeah. Whatever. âCause thatâs what we are.â
Itâs so unlike Yoongiâs usually kind words that Jimin finds his eyes spilling over with hot tears, which he quickly wipes away. He looks down and turns around with a huff. Before he can storm off, though, a hand shoots out to close around his wrists.
Jimin tries shaking it away.
Yoongi lets go after a moment, but not before he follows up with a clipped, âSorry. Didnât mean that.â
Beyond annoyed, Jimin stomps back to him & beats a loose fist against his chest (lightly). âThat was mean,â he sniffles.
âOw, yeah, I know.â Yoongi groans, rubbing his torso.
/Take it back/, Jimin wants to demand, but he doesnât have the heart to, not when Yoongiâs isnât even wrong. They havenât made anything between them official, so⌠they can be âwhateverâ, whatever that means. He settles for glowering at Yoongi with his best icy bitch look.
Yoongi grumbles profanities under his breath, bending down to pick up the discarded umbrella that Jimin had cast aside when he stormed off. He clicks his tongue and holds it over Jiminâs head, nevermind that he himself is getting wet. âJust go inside first, Iâm serious.â
âIâm upset,â Jimin manages to say.
âSo am I, but go be upset indoors.â Yoongi gently turns Jimin by the shoulders and gives him a slight push through the Jung residenceâs front gate.
âIâm not done being upset!â Jimin squirms in his grasp.
âYes, neither am I. Talk later. OK?â
Jimin glares at him, but complies as he steps under shelter. âText me when youâre home,â he sneers.
âText me when youâre down to call,â Yoongi grits out.
Jimin folds his arms. âTake the umbrella.â
âItâs yours, though.â
âIâll be extra upset.â
âFine, then. Fuck. Bye.â
âBye.â
If Aunt Miseon and Uncle Sejin noticed a funky dark cloud hanging over Jiminâs head as he fumes his way around the house, they make no mention of it.
Luckily for Jimin, the shower is a magical place. A negativity vacuum. He exits the steamy shower feeling refreshed and lighter.
When he checks his phone, thereâs a message waiting for him.
[my mindeulle]
home.
Jimin sighs. Now that his head is clear, itâs honestly tougher to try & pinpoint the cause of his anger. Did he simply get swayed by Yoongiâs dark mood?
[my marigold]
k.
call?
[my mindeulle]
k.
Unlike the usual, Jimin lets his phone ring five times before picking up in the name of pettiness. âSo.â
âSo.â Yoongiâs husky voice on the phone never fails to raise goosebumps along the back of Jiminâs neck. âAbout just now.â
âWhere dâyou want to start?â
âWhat pissed me off.â
Jimin nods. âThe fact that I was going to Busan alone?â
âItâs not that, Jiminie.â Yoongiâs voice goes strained. He sounds⌠pained. âItâs justâI wouldâve wanted to know, because if Iâd known earlier maybe I could go with you. Itâs the fact that you think asking me /obliges/ me.â
Jimin blinks, going speechless for once.
âI know it must be tough adjusting to it, especially when youâve been independent for so long,â Yoongi continues. âItâs ingrained in you not to want to trouble others. I know. I know that, but being with you isnât trouble to me, baby.â
And just like that, in so few words, every resentful, dark and negative emotion lingering in Jimin just vanishes with a molten-sweet understanding.
âYou can lean on me,â says Yoongi.
He sniffles and clears his throat. âIâm sorry. For my words, and for making you feel that way.â
âIâm sorry, too,â Yoongi says. âThat âwhateverâ jab was unnecessary.â
âI mean, youâre not exactly wrong,â Jimin mutters under his breath. âDoesnât make it feel any less shitty, though.â
âIâm sorry,â
âYou already said that.â
âYeah.â
Silence. Jimin racks his brain.
âFor the record,â he adds quietly as he settles under the sheets, âIâd have loved to visit my hometown with you.â
âAnd go to that cafĂŠ where we first met, maybe,â Yoongi adds with a wry chuckle.
âThat wasnât the first time,â Jimin corrects, heart feeling infinitely lighter.
Thereâs a pause on the line, followed by Yoongiâs muffled snort. âRight. That time at Everland when you broke up with your girlfriend.â
Jimin hums, smiling at the memory. âFeels like another life, really. Another me.â
âWell, weâve both changed a lot. Grown a lot.â
âHyung.â
âYeah.â
âIâm sorry I didnât tell you about leaving for Busan earlier.â Thereâs a thought that Jimin had delayed entertaining in the heat of their little spat earlier. Could it be that sudden departuresâespecially concerning Jiminâtrigger fear in Yoongi? âIâll be more mindful.â
He doesnât even have to ask, because the next moment, Yoongi admits in a coarse voice, âJust now, when you said you were going away again, I panicked.â
Jimin snags his upper lip between his teeth. âHmm?â
âYou have this penchance for- for vanishing acts, Jiminie.â
âI do?â
âYeah. You stopped writing me when we were kids. And then you moved to Perth and disappeared again,â explains Yoongi.
âIâm here now though.â
âI know. Things are different, but every now and then I get this irrational fear that youâll vanish to someplace I canât reach again.â
Jimin holds the phone tighter in his hand.
He never knew that was how Yoongiâs side of the story came across to him. All this time, Jimin had been way too absorbed in his own truth that heâd failed to consider Yoongiâs reality, too. âIâmâ wow. Crap, hyung, I didnât know.â
âTo be fair, itâs the first time Iâm saying it, so.â
âStill.â Jimin pouts, utterly ashamed of himself. âThank you for trusting me enough to tell me.â
Yoongi makes a noise thatâs half a grunt ans half a puff of air. âJimin-ah.â
âYes?â
âDonât disappear from me again?â
His voice goes quiet, like heâs trying his best not to be heard, and thatâs how Jimin knows those are actually the words Yoongi wants to scream aloud.
âNo more running away, hyung. I promise. Pinky swear.â
âOkay. Good.â
Jimin hugs a pillow to his chest. âAnd hyung?â
âWhat?â
âYou and I⌠this. Us. Weâre not just whatever.â
âI know.â Yoongi sighs. âYouâve never been whatever to me.â
âWhat am I, then?â Jimin asks cheekily.
âForever.â
Itâs the sappiest shit Yoongiâs ever pulled. Jimin bites back a screech and kicks at the covers silently. âSimp.â
âWhat, what, you donât see forever with me?â Yoongi asks with a chuckle.
Jiminâs heart does one last somersault, before he exhales long enough to calm down. âForeverâs kinda hard to think about, no?â
He thinks of their promised âsomedayâ, and how theyâve barely begun.
âNot that Iâm saying itâs unrealistic,â Jimin is quick to catch himself. âJustâ I want to keep it close, real, here. If I get to have tomorrow with you, then isnât that closer to someday, like we talked about? I canât bank on forever yet. How about âtomorrowâ?â
âThat may or may not be singlehandedly the most poetic and arguably intelligent thing thatâs ever come out of your mouth,â deadpans Yoongi.
âI loathe you.â
That earns him a rumbling laugh. Yoongi falls quiet fot several heartbeats. âI donât mind sharing many tomorrows, then.â
Jimin smiles to himself, tugging at a loose thread on his pillowcase. âI like the sound of that.â
âSpeaking of tomorrow,â Yoongi says, resuming his no-nonsense voice. âWhat time is your train leaving?â
âNoon. Why?â
âWanna grab breakfast? Iâll send you off.â
Jimin grins.
âWhereâs your car?â Jimin asks as soon as he answers the doorbell. âWhereâs the fancy, glorious Audi?â
Yoongi glances behind, hands in his pockets. âJust me today. Hyung took it out for maintenance.â
âVery un-slay move.â
âYouâre hanging out too much with Tae.â
âAllow me to mourn the absence of a magnificent thing in peace,â Jimin retorts, stepping out with his backpack and planting a kiss on Yoongiâs cheek as he passes by. âYouâre significantly less daddy now.â
Yoongi muffles a snort behind his hand and nicks Jiminâs chin. âBrat.â
They pick a locally-owned restaurant just a few lanes over. For breakfast they share scrambled eggs and gimbap over coffee, all the while playing an intense round of footsie under the table.
(Jimin wins. Mostly because he suspects Yoongi lets him.)
âYou donât have to send me all the way to Seoul Station,â Jimin says as they duck out of the restaurant hand in hand. âIâve got a bus. I know todayâs busy for you.â
Yoongi looks like heâs about to complain, but seems to think the better of it. He sighs and follows Jimin, sullen.
There are people waiting at the designated bus stop where Jimin can board one with a route to Seoul Station. As they approach, Jimin tilts his head, hit with a sense of deja vu.
âHow long are you staying in Busan?â asks Yoongi.
Jimin swings their hands together. âOvernight.â
Yoongi nods, gaze downcast. âIf you see your appa there⌠what would you do?â
Jimin shrugs. Itâs not like heâd never considered he might run into his father. âIâll cross that bridge when I get there. Mostly I wanna see my friends and other relatives, so.â
âSend a postcard or two.â
Jimin side-eyes Yoongi. âItâs literally a weekend away.â
âThatâs a long time in dog years.â
âArenât you glad weâre people, then?â Out of the corner of Jiminâs periphery, he spots the movement of a bus turning into the neighborhood lane. His bus!
He turns to Yoongi and offers a mock salute. âThis is me. Clocking off duty now, seeya.â
Heâs expecting a sarcastic remark about souvenirs, but the look in Yoongiâs eyes makes him falter.
His pupils are dilated, like heâs trying to take in as much of Jimin as possible.
The bus chugs to a half. Yoongi gives him a gentle push on the hip, avoiding Jiminâs gaze.
âGo. Text when you arrive.â Is it just Jiminâs imagination, or is Yoongi /sulking/?
With a soft smile, Jimin waits until other passengers have boarded the bus, before rising on tiptoes.
Three years ago, a younger and naive Park Jimin had pulled his first love in by the hoodie strings for a brash kiss that turned out to be the first for both of them. Heâd been petrified, afraid of facing himself.
Today, he tugs Yoongi by their matching pendants for a soft kiss.
âIâll be back before you know it,â Jimin whispers adoringly when they pull apart. He shoulders his backpack and steps back, making a beeline for the steps up i to the bus. He picks a seat next to the window and waves at Yoongi outside, whoâs left standing alone at the bus stop.
Itâs a sight that has Jiminâs heart twisting unexpectedly. Although the circumstances are heaps different now, Yoongi looks just like he did back thenâslightly forlorn and a little lost. Fighting back a sigh, Jimin sinks back against his bus seat and puts on his earphones.
Slowly, the bus shifts gears to move onâ
/Bam bam bam./
Jimin blinks at the abrupt banging noises coming from one side of the bus.
/Bam bam bam./
âWait!â
Jimin frowns. Thatâs Yoongiâs voice. He glances out the window and gasps to find Yoongi running alongside the bus.
/What the fuck?/
Jimin raises a hand to yank the window open and bark for Yoongi to stop running. But amazingly, the bus driver seems to either be reallt benevolent or is a paid actor, because then the bus slows down and grins to a halt, a few meters away from its assigned stop.
Then the bus doors are sliding open, and passengersâ heads turn at the sudden commotion. Jimin gapes at the sight of Yoongi hopping aboard, reaching out to clutch a handle grip with a muttered thanks to the bus driver.
âHyungâŚ?â Jimin gawks hard at Yoongiâs hurried approach.
Yoongiâs hair is tousled by the wind from sprinting after the bus. His cheeks are flushed, the rise and fall of his chest erratic. Other passengers murmur around them, but Jimin can only hear Yoongiâs words as he sits next to himâ
âShouldâve done this back then. That night.â
Three years ago, Jimin had clambered aboard a bus on a chilly autumn night, his heart frostbitten by the emptiness of the seats around him.
Itâs a later summer morning now. Yoongiâs arm presses against him, real & solid. Jiminâs face softens, liquid warmth coursing through him.
Without a word, Jimin lays his hand flat on his own thigh, palm facing up. An invitation.
Yoongi bites back a smile and folds his own, much larger hand over his. A reply.
The bus engine revs along noisily with the rest of the worldâand two people homeward bound to the other.
dear Hyung Who Cooks,
We had to write an essay on love today. I dunno why theyâd ask high school students this. Now, I admit Iâm smart, but I donât really think much about romance. Whatâs love to you?
bored out of his mind,
Jimin of the Park
âdearest Pabo Jiminie,
Love is peace, I think.
your hyung who is not just a good cook,
yoongiâ
p.s Are you at peace?
THE END
âto everyone whoâs kept up with this story: from the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you.
DMF started on 26 Jan & ended 26 Dec.
Sounds perfectly apt to me!
Please consider supporting my writing? Every small kindness helps!
ko-fi.com/kyrifics