ella⁷@minjiiminie
Jan 9, 2023
258 tweets
yoonmin au—
jimin has been pining after his best friend’s cousin for a while now. he’s over the moon when it becomes clear that yoongi likes him back, but that delight is short-lived. especially when yoongi and jimin realize they want something different from their relationship.
• healthy relationships need a lot of awkward and hard conversations.
• mutual pining with a pinch of miscommunication. two overthinkers with massive crushes are recipe for chaos.
• this is a commission for yoonmins side story from this au:
ella⁷@minjiiminie
Aug 22 22
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taekook au—
taehyung plans to do a nude photography project for a class, but he has no luck finding a subject until a boy with no experience modeling reaches out. jungkook seems to be a prude that wants to break out from his shell, and taehyung thinks it doesn't hurt to try.
Taehyung has a hard time choosing the ice cream he wants, picking up a lolly and then dropping it. When they arrived at the store, Taehyung went directly to the ice cream display freezer and left Yoongi to the grocery shop alone.
Naturally, Jimin went behind his best friend.
Yoongi is buying groceries for himself, after all. They wouldn’t help much, and Jimin and Taehyung are just tagging along. Yoongi lives closer to campus than them, so they were chilling at Yoongi’s apartment before a 5 pm class when Yoongi told them he needed to get vegetables.
He asked if they wanted to stay or come with him. And now Jimin has an ice lolly in his hand, but Taehyung is still picking every package and debating what to choose. Jimin looks over his shoulder to catch Yoongi coming closer, a filled shopping basket in his left hand.
He’s squinting his eyes, reading a paper in his right hand, and double-checking if he has every item. It’s adorable.
“Yoongi hyung is about to pay,” Jimin lets Taehyung know.
“Fuck.”
Taehyung grabs the lolly he chose first, and he and Jimin join Yoongi at the check-out queue.
“Can we take these, hyung?” It’s how Taehyung says, ‘can you buy this for us?’
“I’ll pay for mine,” Jimin interjects before Yoongi can answer, but the older man has none of that.
“Leave them on the cart. It’s on me.” And then he faces Jimin. “Don’t worry about it.”
It's not a big deal to him.
“Thank you, hyung,” Jimin whispers, making himself small.
Yoongi offers him a faint smile, and Jimin swoons, like every time Yoongi does the tiniest things. He stops staring at his nape when Taehyung snorts, and a blush conquers Jimin’s face.
Though Yoongi is his cousin, Taehyung has never acted weird about Jimin’s crush on Yoongi. They haven’t had an extensive conversation about it either, even if Taehyung was the one who noticed it one day after leaving Yoongi’s apartment during their walk back to campus.
Taehyung asked, “do you like hyung?”
There was nothing different from usual that day; Jimin praised Yoongi’s cooking, ate everything, and helped clean the dishes afterward. He laughed at Yoongi’s jokes and bantered about the most random topic to get his attention.
Jimin realized right there.
“I think I do.” It was the first time he said it aloud. And without having processed his feelings yet, he stopped walking to face Yoongi’s cousin. “Is that okay?”
“Of course, it’s okay. Hyung is better than all those guys you date.”
And Yoongi is. Something about Yoongi is so different from other guys, especially men Jimin has gone out with. Maybe it’s his gentleness or how he’s soft-spoken even when disagreeing with something. Perhaps it’s his lame jokes that always manage to land for Jimin.
Maybe it’s how he looks at Jimin with equal interest, endearment, and admiration. He has the most delicate features, but his gaze is sharp. And his voice gets lower than usual when explaining something, and he always gestures around with his big hands— Jimin is obsessed.
As they walk back to Yoongi’s apartment, Jimin and Taehyung carry one bag each while using the other hand to hold their ice lollies. They laugh loudly at some random anecdote Taehyung is telling Jimin about his class.
Behind them, listening attentively, Yoongi carries four bags.
He always insists on not wanting help, and they know better than to argue with him. Taehyung and Jimin walk with enough distance between them not to leave Yoongi out of the conversation. He’s quiet for the longest time until some point in the anecdote makes Yoongi comment.
Jimin looks over his shoulder, ice lolly in his mouth as he makes eye contact, so Yoongi knows he’s being listened to, but Yoongi averts his gaze immediately. He’s never been good with eye contact. He’s shy, but Jimin prefers to think it has to do with finding Jimin attractive.
Sometimes, when people find Jimin handsome, they try not to stare. Most of the time, they approach him, but Jimin holds onto the possibility of Yoongi belonging to the former group. Yoongi's inability to meet his gaze is the only hope Jimin has that Yoongi could like him back.
After three years of knowing him, Jimin can say that Yoongi enjoys his company in a friendly way. But nothing more than that. The moment Jimin can confirm that Yoongi wants something more than friendly from him, Jimin will make a move, but for now, he only pines from afar.
That doesn’t mean Jimin doesn’t try to get Yoongi to like him. Even before realizing his feelings, Jimin has always been searching for his approval, which only worsens with time. His attempts can be desperate and obvious. Everyone but Yoongi seems to know that Jimin likes him.
Jimin has been trying to get Yoongi’s attention for months now with no luck. From praising his food to whining about wanting a boyfriend while Yoongi cooks for them to wearing his most flattering jeans when he knows they will go to Yoongi’s apartment during their free periods.
He had no idea that dying his hair would do the trick.
After changing the color, he doesn’t get Yoongi’s attention instantly. Even though Yoongi sees the Instagram story Jimin posts showing off his new hairstyle, none of the many comments and fire emojis he gets are from him.
But during free hours, when Taehyung and Jimin arrive at Yoongi’s apartment to empty his fridge, Jimin feels Yoongi’s gaze on him. Taehyung throws his sneakers and hurries to the bathroom, walking past his cousin. Jimin remembers to bow and crouches to remove his boots.
“I’m making a stir-fry,” Yoongi announces to the air, excusing himself to the kitchen. But he stops before leaving the room and glances at Jimin just as he plops on the couch. They stare at each other. “That's a very bright color, Jimin.”
Jimin sits up straight.
Yoongi never comments on Jimin’s look unless prompted. “Is that good or bad, hyung?”
The answer is fast, not having to think about it. “Good.”
“Oh. I’m glad.”
After a second too long of Jimin waiting for another crumb, Yoongi nods and disappears into the kitchen.
The living room is silent. Jimin sits on the couch, hands on his knees, repeating the awkward interaction over and over in his head, and his lips curl into the biggest of smiles.
When Taehyung returns and plops on the couch, Jimin throws his legs on his best friend’s lap.
Taehyung is too busy with his phone to notice Jimin’s good mood. And they remain quiet while Yoongi cooks, as they sometimes do. When Yoongi starts frying vegetables, the smell of garlic and onions fills the apartment.
“It smells so good, hyung,” Jimin raises his voice.
“Why don't you just suck his dick?” Taehyung squeezes Jimin’s ankle with his free hand, emphasizing his teasing words.
Jimin wishes he could, but he doesn’t want Yoongi to hear that from Taehyung. It wouldn’t be the right way, so Jimin slaps Taehyung’s arm. “Shut up.”
“I’m glad it smells good!” Yoongi says, meaning he can hear them talk. But he surely heard Jimin’s loud praise and not Taehyung’s whispered teasing
The cousins have a small exchange about the food, and once that’s over, Jimin whispers, “he noticed I changed my hair.”
“Jimin, your hair is red. It would be hard for him not to notice.”
Jimin slaps Taehyung again, but before it turns into wrestling, Yoongi calls for them. “It’s ready! Come help me with the dishes.”
“Okay, hyung!” Jimin goes to the kitchen even if Taehyung doesn’t follow.
“He’s not coming to help?” Yoongi asks as he plates the food without looking at Jimin.
“You know he’s spoiled.”
Yoongi sighs and hands Jimin a dish. The first he served. It might mean nothing, but Jimin wants to think it does. “You get the first serving, then. Get started.”
“Hyung, come on. I’m polite. I can’t start eating without you.”
Yoongi chuckles. “If only your politeness rubbed off on Taehyung.”
“Don’t be mean. Tae is polite.”
“I know. With everyone but his family members,” Yoongi says as he puts a mountain of food on Taehyung’s plate.
“Everyone's a little spoiled with their family members,” Jimin defends his best friend. That’s how most of their conversations go: Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.
But sometimes, Yoongi does something unexpected. “You’re spoiled too, Jimin ah?” Yoongi asks, serving the third dish.
Will Yoongi find it unattractive if he says yes? But he shouldn't lie to him. “A little.”
Yoongi doesn’t give Jimin the other dish, but he makes another request. “Can you take the rice bowl too?”
“Of course, hyung!”
“You don’t seem that spoiled to me,” Yoongi teases.
Jimin stays still as Yoongi walks outside. Was that flirty? Has he noticed that Jimin is consistently complying with what he says? Is Jimin reading too much into it?
“I meant both of you. Help from both of you,” Yoongi says to Taehyung. “You don’t get cousin privileges.”
“On the contrary, Jimin should be getting guest privileges.” And Jimin smiles dumbly.
“I’m checking something important, hyung,” Taehyung explains.
As Taehyung rants about how he hasn’t found a model for his final photography project, Jimin grabs the rice bowl and joins them.
Yoongi is already at the dining table when he asks, “Jimin doesn’t want to help?”
“Me?” Jimin squeaks, cheeks rapidly growing red as he sits too. “I don’t—”
“You always model for Taehyung’s paintings, don’t you?” Yoongi watches him.
“But these are nudes….” Jimin whispers.
He’s not one to get embarrassed about sex or his body, but this is Yoongi. “Photography nudes. And I know everyone in Taehyung’s class. I’m okay with them seeing paintings and sculptures of me but not-”
Yoongi’s pale face also turns pink as he glances away from Jimin.
It seems like the thought of Jimin naked makes him flustered. “You’re taking nudes?” he asks Taehyung, avoiding Jimin.
“Artistic nudes,” Taehyung says.
Jimin quietly stuffs himself with vegetables while the cousins talk about the project, thinking of Yoongi’s sudden blush.
It’s challenging to pay attention to their back and forth when his mind is elsewhere, but Jimin catches Yoongi handing Taehyung his phone. “Repost it before I change my mind. I don’t know how to use Instagram.”
He says that but always watches Jimin’s Instagram stories.
“You repost it too, Jimin!”
It must be about the model search. “I’ve reposted all your posts a thousand times, Taehyung. I get creepy DM’s asking why I’m interested in nudes every time.”
A deep frown settles on Yoongi’s face, but he doesn’t say anything to Jimin.
The details of that day remain in Jimin’s mind even when hours pass. The frown when Jimin mentioned other men, his blush, how he teased Jimin, and the comment about his hair. Jimin thinks about it later; he treasures every interaction in his chest until they bloom into hope.
Knowing that Yoongi is paying attention to his hair, Jimin has to use it to try to make a move on Yoongi. Whenever Jimin believes he looks good, whenever the sunlight makes his hair look a shinier shade, whenever his clothes make the red color in his hair pop, he posts a selfie.
The guys liking his posts without a miss since he dyed his hair have become discouraged by Jimin’s lack of answers. But Jimin isn’t posting photos for them. He’s posting it for the man who keeps watching every story, also without fail, but never reacts with a fire emoji.
After a gym session, Jimin thinks his red cheeks and sweaty forehead are a nice look on him, so he takes a mirror photo to post. He tries to look as sexy as possible, as sexy as he can look in a gym bathroom, and he ignores the judging eyes of people around him.
Taehyung washes his hands by his side, eyeing him too, and Jimin knows he will say something stupid before he does. “Yoongi doesn’t use Instagram. He won’t see your selfies.”
Embarrassed at his transparency, Jimin tilts his head for another photo. “I’m not taking them for him.”
But he meets his best friend’s eyes in the mirror, and after a raised eyebrow, Jimin tells the truth. “He always sees my stories, just so you know.”
That forces a chuckle out of Taehyung.
This time it’s no different. It doesn’t happen right away, but it happens.
At night, when Jimin is back at their apartment, working on an essay for a class, while Taehyung blasts jazz music from his room, Jimin’s phone vibrates with a notification.
His heart drops. It’s even better than just seeing the story. Under Yoongi’s username, there are words.
“It’s been a few days, and it’s still bright red.”
Not only has Yoongi seen his story, but he’s replying to it. It’s not the most romantic of comments, but it’s something. Yoongi has never messaged him on Instagram, and now the glimmer of hope in his chest grows considerably.
Jimin panics, though. What should he say? Something that won’t let the conversation end right away. “It was good dye.”
With the app still open, Jimin can see Yoongi has read the message, and he takes a deep breath when the typing bubble appears. “Did you dye it yourself?”
“Yes.” Smiling emoji.
The typing bubble is there sooner than before. Yoongi has the app open and is texting Jimin. “That’s impressive.” A pause and another bubble. “I thought you did it at a professional salon.”
Is this how Yoongi flirts or is Jimin reading too much into it?
If it’s flirting, there’s only one way to answer. Jimin sends a shy monkey emoji.
When the stupid icon stares back at him on the screen, Jimin groans; it’s not enough. And at that moment, something desperate possesses him, and he decides to be bold, typing without thinking.
“Hyung learned how to use the reply feature?”
Jimin wants to throw his phone after that, but Yoongi sends a laughing emoji before he can. And then a written message. “Yah Park Jimin. I’m not that old.”
Jimin can imagine his voice, and it brings a smile to his face.
“Hyung. You’ve admitted you don’t know how to use Instagram.”
There’s no answer for a long moment, and Jimin blocks his phone, almost jumping when he sees the screen lit up in a minute. “It’s not like it’s hard to use.”
It’s such a Yoongi answer that Jimin holds in laughter.
“If it’s not hard to use, you’ll reply to my stories more often, then?” Jimin grips his phone tighter as soon as he rereads the message. He shouldn’t have sent that. He’s insane.
But in less than a second, there’s an answer. “If they deserve a private message. Definitely.”
Jimin’s jaw drops. This is definitely flirting. “Hyung has been seeing my stories for a while now. Is he implying none of them were worth a reply?”
Another five minutes to get an answer. “Do you always check who watches your stories?”
Jimin replies right away. “Don’t we all?”
“I don’t.”
“You never post stories, hyung.”
“Ah. You know me so well.” And before mortification can hit Jimin, Yoongi sends a laughing emoji.
They’re flirting. Jimin is sure that they’re flirting. And he can’t let this opportunity go. He’s waited so long for this.
He has to keep the conversation going. Unsure how to do it, Jimin goes for his safe conversation topic: Taehyung. He updates Yoongi on Taehyung’s nude model situation, letting him know someone reached out.
“You know the model?” Yoongi asks.
“Yes. We go to the same heels class.”
Yoongi ignores the heels class part, to Jimin’s dismay, but it’s always a good idea to remind him. “Is he nice?”
“Yeah, he is. Why are you asking? Are you worried about Taehyungie?” Jimin sends a laughing emoji.
“Isn’t it normal to be protective of those you care about?”
Jimin bites his lower lip. Yoongi is so attractive without trying to be.
He remembers to reply before going on a spiral about how handsome Taehyung’s cousin is. “I guess it’s normal. I don’t know how protective you can be with that thin frame of yours, though, hyung.”
Hopefully, Yoongi knows that insulting is Jimin’s way of flirting. “What do you mean, Jimin ah? I’m going to the gym.”
Jimin sends three texts in a minute. “You are? You didn’t say anything! You could have come with us.”
Yoongi’s reply is dry. “I don’t like gyms.”
But he gives a more extensive answer right away. “Plus, I would be too self-conscious if I had to be at the same gym as you and Taehyung.”
“What? Why?”
Yoongi’s following message arrives after a long pause, but they keep texting. “You two would judge me.”
“We’d never!”
There’s no answer immediately, but after taking a shower and finishing his skin care, there’s a notification. “Please reflect on your actions, Jimin ah. You know very well you'd judge me.”
Even though Jimin is itching to answer, he doesn’t reply or say goodnight; he goes to bed.
That way, he’ll reply in the morning, and the conversation will continue for a day. Jimin has to be strategic when it comes to flirting with Yoongi. He’s not like other guys Jimin has dated.
After locking his phone, Jimin sleeps with an optimistic feeling in his chest.
As planned, Jimin gets two replies in the morning after replying with a “We would tease, not judge you, hyung.” Followed by a “(good morning)” in brackets
They don’t come immediately, but when Jimin is out of bed. “Teasing is the same as judging.” And “(Good morning, Jimin ah.)”
While Jimin puts together a quick breakfast, he has two ongoing conversations with Yoongi in the same app. The new one is in brackets, and the old one is without brackets. Eventually, the one about teasing and going to the gym stops. The brackets from the second one disappear.
What remains is a slow dialogue. “How are you?” And a dry answer followed by a “you?”
“Do you have class today?” Yoongi has to go to work.
“What are you eating?” They’re both having breakfast.
Jimin doesn’t want it to stop. It seems like Yoongi doesn’t want it to stop, either.
He’s telling Yoongi about a class project when Taehyung leaves his bedroom, yawning. He walks behind Jimin's stool in the kitchen, searching for coffee, and peeks over Jimin’s shoulder. “You’re texting hyung?”
Jimin locks his phone and drops it on the counter. “Yeah.”
A pause where their eyes meet. When Taehyung looks away to pour coffee into his mug, Jimin whispers, “is that bad?”
“No. You’ve wanted that dick for ages.”
There’s no arguing with that. “But he’s your cousin. I know you joke about it, but if something actually happens….”
“Won’t it be awkward?”
Taehyung shrugs. “What’s going to happen? You fuck guys all the time and still say hi to them as if nothing happened.”
And while that’s true, Jimin doesn’t think this is the case. “But I like him, Taehyung.”
“Do you want to go on dates with him?”
“Yeah, go on dates, see where things go.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know it was that serious.”
“It’s not serious. I want to sleep with him. First and foremost.” Taehyung snorts. “But I want kisses and dates too.”
“Oh,” Taehyung supports himself on the counter.
“You want to be his boyfriend.”
“Come on. I can only say that after going out with him and getting to know him better. Right now, we’re just texting.”
Texting that dies right away, by the way. That afternoon, after one smiling emoji from Jimin, the conversation ends.
Jimin did his best. So it’s impossible for him to be disappointed when texting naturally ends.
This is the farthest he’s ever gotten with Yoongi, and he decides to wait until the next time Yoongi replies to one of my stories, but then he sees Jungkook in heels class.
Jungkook tells Jimin about Taehyung and modeling for the nude photos and keeps repeating that even though he’s nervous, he really wants to do it.
As they change for a class, Jimin listens attentively to Jungkook’s story and wishes he’d put himself out there as much as Jungkook.
After class, Jimin takes a selfie in the dance studio mirror and posts it. Then, inspired by Jungkook’s drive, Jimin opens Yoongi’s direct message instead of waiting for a reply and asks if his most recent story is worth a response.
He wants to crawl inside a hole afterward.
But Yoongi replies later that day. “Isn’t it uncomfortable to dance with jeans?”
Jimin smiles when he sees the notification. “Are you avoiding my question?”
“Are you avoiding my question, Jimin ah?”
Jimin rolls his eyes, but he’s endeared. “It’s not uncomfortable, hyung.”
“Plus, I need to get used to dancing with something other than leggings and oversized shirts. That’s why I’m in a heels class.”
After that, Yoongi asks him about dancing, so Jimin doesn’t mention how he ignored Jimin’s opening question.
This time, the conversation is longer.
Their texting isn’t a 24/7 activity. But at least during a moment of the day, they go back and forth nonstop, and then their texts wait for a reply for hours.
Jimin is growing used to texting, so he doesn’t know what to do when suddenly he gets a call from Yoongi.
When his phone starts to shake with a ‘Yoongi hyung’ covering the screen, Jimin stops typing an essay, pauses his music, stands up, and debates whether to leave his room or not. In the end, he picks up while going in circles in his room. “Hyung.”
“Hey. Are you guys home?”
“I’m dropping frozen food later today.”
“We’re home. But why are you calling me and not asking in the group chat?”
Yoongi always brings them food, knowing Jimin and Taehyung don’t love cooking and could use someone taking care of them, but they have a group chat for that.
They use the same chat to ensure Yoongi is home whenever Taehyung and Jimin have breaks between classes.
“Mmh. I want to gossip with you.”
Something people that date do. A lot. Friends too, but Jimin doesn’t care for that. “What gossip?” Jimin whispers, sitting on the bed.
“Taehyung asked me to make extra noodles. I was wondering why. He didn’t explain.”
Jimin giggles. He thinks that Yoongi trying to act nonchalant when begging for gossip is cute. He wants to seem so cool. “It’s for the model.”
“Is he taking his model on a date with my food?”
“I think it’s a technique he read about,” Jimin explains.
Yoongi lets a disappointed sigh. “Artists…”
“Please! You’re also an artist!”
“I don’t go around cooking noodles for singers.”
“Just for me,” Jimin says, and before a blush spreads on his face, he adds, “and Taehyung.”
“Yeah,” Yoongi chuckles. “Only for my tyrannic family members and their eternal plus-ones.”
Jimin bites his lower lip. Is that what he is for Yoongi? Taehyung’s plus one? Well, he’s that, so it’s just a description of reality.
“Thank you for the intel. See you later, Jimin.”
Yoongi’s groggy voice brings him out of his thoughts. “Alright, hyung. Bye!”
When the sky is dark, Yoongi comes with frozen food. He’s polite and brief, like usual, and he leaves in a blink of an eye. It’s the same as always, but Jimin can’t help but feel disappointed.
He’s already had a taste of Yoongi’s attention and wants more. So later that week, even though he’s in class and not at home, Jimin writes a quick text letting Yoongi know that Taehyung’s model is at their place already. Yoongi likes to gossip, and Jimin will provide.
He adds a cheeky comment in the end, an attempt at flirting. “Hopefully, he’ll like your food.”
The reply comes half an hour later. “I’m certain he’ll like it. I’m good at cooking.”
Before Jimin can grab his phone to type a reply, his screen lights up with another text.
“What do you think?”
Jimin looks around the classroom as if the sixty people around him can tell how fast his heart is beating. “You know I love your cooking, hyung. I always tell you. You’re just fishing for compliments.”
“Maybe I am.”
Jimin sends a laughing emoji.
He hates ending conversations with emojis. It’s the perfect conversation closure. No one replies to emojis, so he tries another text. “Hyung should teach me how to cook as well as him.”
“If that’s what you want, hyung will do it.”
This time, Jimin is too flustered to reply.
Taehyung is pacing around the apartment, preparing for Jungkook’s arrival. It’s their third session together. During one of those rounds, Jimin catches his eyes through the bathroom mirror. The door is wide open, but he still raises his voice. “Hey!”
Taehyung stops.
“I’m going out while Jungkook is here,” Jimin says while fixing his makeup.
Taehyung comes closer, supporting his body on the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. Probably trying to look protective. “Really? With who?”
“Yoongi hyung.”
Taehyung smiles. “A date?”
“Obviously not,” Jimin says as if he hasn’t dressed up like he would for a date. With dark tight-fitted jeans and an oversized cardigan over a tank top, balancing a sweet and sexy look. Taehyung notices it but doesn’t say a word. “It’s not a real date!” Jimin insists.
Later, Yoongi texts Jimin, letting him know he’s downstairs. And Jimin says it wasn’t a date, but it feels like one when he hurries downstairs and awkwardly stands close to Yoongi. “Hey.”
“Jimin ah. Is Jungkook upstairs?”
“Not yet.”
“Mmh, they’ll be alone when he arrives.”
Leaving Taehyung and Jungkook alone is the justification. But Jimin will accept any excuse if it means seeing Yoongi more often. “Where are we going, hyung?”
“It’s a surprise.”
Jimin blushes, coming up with many scenarios for what they could do on their unofficial date.
Yoongi takes Jimin grocery shopping. The most romantic setting in the world. (Jimin is being sarcastic). “Really?” Jimin asks as they enter the store.
“I have to teach you the basics if you want to cook like me. How to pick good products, meal prep, and write a grocery list.”
“I won’t always leave frozen food at your apartment, Jimin.”
“Why not?” Jimin tilts his head, hoping to look cute. But Yoongi won’t glance at him.
“Instead of your politeness sticking to Taehyung, his tyranny extends to you.”
“Hyung!” Jimin whines on purpose. It’s charming.
“You said you weren’t spoiled, but you imply you want life-long meal supplies?”
Jimin beams. “Maybe I want that.”
Yoongi stops walking to stare at Jimin, but then he chuckles and leaves him behind. Jimin is trying to flirt with Yoongi, but Yoongi doesn’t bite the bait.
After doing groceries and stopping to drink coffee on the tables outside the store, Yoongi and Jimin arrive home, carrying plastic bags. They stop at the entrance, staring at Taehyung and Jungkook shirtless in the kitchen.
"Hey," Taehyung stands in front of a giggly Jungkook.
Taehyung and Jungkook are lost in the world, talking in whispers as if there weren't two people standing at the door. “Umh, hi?” Jimin interrupts their small moment. “What are you two doing? Is this part of the photoshoot?”
Taehyung and Jungkook come up with excuses.
Yoongi and Jimin just let them be. And as they put their clothes back on, Jungkook asks Taehyung if he wants to grab food with him, ignoring the apparent fact that Yoongi and Jimin dropped a large amount of food on the counter. Jungkook is very bold for someone as shy as him.
“Do you think that counts as asking Taehyung for a date?” Jimin whispers to Yoongi as Taehyung and Jungkook keep talking in whispers.
“Definitely,” Yoongi says while taking vegetables out of their bags.
“They move fast,” Jimin mumbles.
Yoongi keeps quiet, his eyes on Jimin.
They don’t say another word until Taehyung and Jungkook leave the apartment. “They’re cute together,” Jimin breaks the silence.
Yoongi hums, picking the vegetables he wants to slice. “Taehyung is gone already.”
“He is, right?”
“Mmh. Come here; let’s cook something.”
While helping -more like watching- Yoongi cook, Jimin asks aloud one more time. “Why do you think they were shirtless?”
“Taehyung is taking nude photographs; I suppose it has to do with that.”
“The photographer needs to be naked too?”
“Maybe it’s more comfortable.”
“Do you think it’s comfortable to cook shirtless? Have you tried?” Jimin asks teasingly, another attempt at coming onto Yoongi after the grocery shop’s failure.
Yoongi glances at him once, enough to shut Jimin up. He needs to stop with his innuendos and insinuations.
Jimin wants to disappear, embarrassed at his awful flirting tactics. Yoongi doesn't want any of it, and Jimin must look desperate to him. Yoongi must hate it.
"Park Jimin! You can't cook anything because you're not focusing!" Yoongi nudges his side, and Jimin tries to relax.
Jimin can't expect to move fast because he wants it that way.
Yoongi doesn't hate Jimin. He stays with him late at night, teaching him the easiest ways to slice vegetables. He must like Jimin a tiny bit, even if he's not the best at giving compliments and catching onto flirting.
That Saturday, during heels class, Jungkook approaches Jimin to talk. He goes on a rant about how handsome and lovely Taehyung is again, and Jimin encourages him to make a move, assuring him that Taehyung -even if not that great- is also smitten.
Jungkook blushes hard.
Jimin wonders if he sounds like that when he talks about Yoongi. He probably does.
For some reason, that makes him a little hopeful. Jungkook is like Jimin, believing his crush is unrequited when it’s undoubtedly not. Yeah, it might be delusional, but Jimin likes to think that.
Jimin is already at campus when he receives an email from the professor apologizing about having to cancel the class. Jimin had taken the bus to arrive on time, but these things happen. With a deep sigh, he buys a hot chocolate from the vending machine and debates what to do.
Feeling too tired to study at the library or hang out with friends, he begins a long walk outside the campus to go home. Taehyung has a session with Jungkook today, so Jimin might interrupt them. But then, a great idea blooms in his head before he reaches the entrance.
He texts Yoongi, telling him the situation and adding that Taehyung and Jungkook have a session. Yoongi’s answer is quick. “Come over. Don’t interrupt them.”
Jimin smiles at his phone and lets Taehyung know that if he isn’t back on time, it’s because he’s still at Yoongi’s.
He adds a wink emoji to imply something happening as a joke. But Taehyung takes his reply seriously. “Come back limping, or don’t come back at all.”
Jimin snorts at his best friend. However, he’s in a much better mood when he changes direction to walk toward Yoongi’s place.
Jimin has been in Yoongi’s apartment without Taehyung only a handful of times. And it’s always been the same: Yoongi lets him in, offers him something to drink or eat while Jimin plops on the couch, and then Yoongi sits on the dining table with his laptop to work.
They remain silent or have a polite conversation about work and classes, and he never gives Jimin a hint to talk more than that. But things have changed. Today, there’s no laptop on the table.
Yoongi has his hands on the pockets of his gray sweatpants when he opens the door.
He watches Jimin take off his sneakers and asks if Jimin wants something to eat or drink. He has his eyes on Jimin when Jimin says he’s okay but thanks for offering. Finally, he scratches the back of his neck when he asks, “so what do you want to do?”
Jimin blinks.
“Are you free? Usually, you’re doing your thing while Tae and I hang out.”
They’re standing by the door, unnecessarily close, when Yoongi smiles. “Doing my thing?”
“Cooking or making music.”
Yoongi chuckles. “I’m free right now and asking what you want to do.”
Jimin enters the apartment to hide his blush and sits on the couch. “I don’t like choosing.”
Yoongi doesn’t sit; he watches down on him. “Really?”
“Let’s go for something not so elaborate.”
“We could keep up your cooking classes.” Jimin scrunches his nose. “Or watch a movie?”
“A movie sounds good!”
It’s a date. It feels like a date. Yoongi disappears down the hall to return with his laptop and plops next to Jimin. “Any idea?”
“Hyung, I picked the activity!” Jimin pouts, doing what always works with others in his desperation for Yoongi’s attention.
“Pick? I gave you two options.”
“Do that again, then. Give me options.”
Yoongi stares at Jimin for a long moment before looking away. “Pick anything from my watchlist.”
Jimin points at a dark-looking poster. If they watch horror, there’s a chance they’ll stick closer.
But Yoongi isn’t convinced. “No, not that one.”
“Why? You told me to pick!”
“I want to pay attention to that one.”
An awkward silence settles between them until Jimin tilts his head. “Why won’t you pay attention?” Does Jimin distract him? Does he plan on doing something else?
“Because you’ll be asking questions every five minutes,” it’s not flirty. Only accusatory. Jimin rolls his eyes.
“This one?” He points at a different poster, and Yoongi agrees to watch it, pressing play and leaving the laptop on the coffee table in front of them.
They sit on opposite ends of the couch, watching silently for almost twenty minutes. It’s a comedy movie, but it never brings much laughter out of them.
“It’s cold, right?” Jimin whispers.
“Ah, yes, it’s getting colder, and the window is stuck. So I can’t fully close it.”
Yoongi looks aside, where the living room window is open by three inches, with a cold breeze flowing inside. Jimin can’t stop his tongue. “Is the window in your bedroom stuck too?”
Yoongi is stunned, but eventually, he shakes his head. “I could bring you a jacket or blankets.”
While wearing Yoongi’s jacket sounds promising, Jimin has a bigger plan. “You’d rather build a fort out here than let me in your room? What do you have hidden in there?”
“Nothing.” Yoongi stands with his laptop and takes a few steps before looking over his shoulder.
“Are you coming?”
Jimin hurries behind him. Even though he’s been to Yoongi’s apartment so many times, he has never been inside Yoongi’s room before, only seen it from the hallway when he had to use the bathroom, and the door was open. But there’s no time to check the details.
Jimin lies on the bed before Yoongi can sit, giving him no option but to lie by his side. Quickly, Yoongi puts the laptop between them, separating their bodies. It’s okay; Jimin can work with that.
Yoongi’s room is not as cold, but Jimin still needs to hug himself to feel warm.
The movie’s first hour goes by, and suddenly Yoongi shifts, wanting to get comfortable. He puts the laptop on his body, and the distance between them disappears as Jimin presses his body to Yoongi’s, dropping his head on Yoongi’s chest.
Yoongi is stiff but doesn’t push him away.
On the contrary, he drops his hands to Jimin’s side, giving Jimin goosebumps. Jimin tries to look at Yoongi without squirming. “Hyung, can you still see the screen?”
“Yeah,” Yoongi whispers. “Just don’t move.”
“Okay,” Jimin focuses on the screen but doesn’t understand a word.
And just like that, they’re cuddling. It’s a date, and they’re cuddling. It’s sudden but also not, and Jimin is nervous. Yoongi’s breathing, his fingers against Jimin’s skin, his perfume, being so close to him in his bed; everything sends shivers down Jimin’s spine.
Everything worked Jimin's way. He got away with his plan and is now cuddling Yoongi, closing his eyes when Yoongi trails his fingers up and down Jimin's side absentmindedly, but maybe on purpose too. It's like a dream.
But Jimin can't enjoy the most awaited moment for long.
Jimin’s body reacts faster than his brain.
It’s so stupid, and he’s like a high school teen after the slightest touch from his crush. In a few minutes, Jimin feels himself growing hard. He‘s so embarrassed and wants to pull away from Yoongi but doesn’t want to miss his warmth.
“Is everything okay?” Yoongi asks.
“Yes!” Jimin squeaks.
Jimin tries to move so Yoongi doesn’t feel his hard-on, but Yoongi tsks. “Stay still. I can’t see the screen.”
“Sorry,” Jimin whispers and returns to his place, accidentally brushing his erection against Yoongi’s thigh.
Jimin bites a hiss, but he’s sure Yoongi heard it. Mortified, Jimin glances up to catch Yoongi already staring. He noticed. He felt it.
Yoongi looks away and ignores it. Even if Yoongi doesn’t stop cuddling him, Jimin doesn’t say a word until he says goodbye when the movie ends.
Jimin returns home in a trance, trying not to think about Yoongi. He makes a cup of coffee and starts working on a random project for class, occupying his mind with anything. He doesn’t turn on any light. The only glow comes from Jimin’s laptop.
Taehyung’s voice startles him.
“Hey, did you and Yoongi fuck?” Taehyung stands by his bedroom door with a terrible bedhead.
Jimin will tell him about the incident, but not right away. “We cuddled. Did you and Jungkook fuck?”
Taehyung enters the kitchen in search of a glass of water. “We just cuddled too.”
“He was semi-naked during it, though.”
Jimin smirks, excited for his friend. “Nice. Yoongi hyung and I were wearing several layers of clothes. It was cold in his room.”
Taehyung hums around the glass of water, and Jimin waits for the right moment to drop the bomb.
Their eyes meet, and he goes for it. “I got hard, and I think Yoongi hyung noticed, and he was trying to ignore it while still cuddling with me. I’m a bit mortified.”
Silence, and then Taehyung laughs loudly at the confession, sitting next to Jimin and closing his laptop.
“What the hell happened?” Then, with red cheeks and a trembling voice, Jimin gives a brief explanation, only for Taehyung to laugh again at every detail. But once his loud snorting ends, a fond smile settles. “I think hyung is being careful with you, Jimin.”
“Careful? Why?”
“You’re my friend; he’s family. Unlike you, I think he’s only ever dated three or four people. Probably had sex with just two of them.”
Jimin should pay attention to this, but he simply blinks. “Am I sick in the head if I find that hot?”
Disbelief falls on Taehyung’s face.
“Why hot?”
“Just two people? That means I only have to worry about him getting sexy flashbacks of two people instead of twenty-something. I’m grateful for my jealous ass.”
Taehyung snorts. “You’re insane. Do you know that?”
Jimin doesn’t defend himself. He’s confident he is.
“You have to talk to him, Jimin. Was it a friendly cuddling session or not? Why did he ignore your body's reaction if it wasn't?”
Having that conversation is so much easier said than done. “Taehyung, what am I supposed to say? Hyung, sorry I got hard while you cuddled with me.”
“I hope it wasn’t uncomfortable. I suppose it wasn’t since you still held me in your arms but can you explain why you didn’t get your hands inside my pants and fucked me?”
Taehyung stares at Jimin for a long moment. “That sounds perfect.”
Jimin slaps Taehyung. But it’s soft.
He knows Taehyung is exaggerating, but it’s a conversation Jimin needs to have; even if it’s horrible for him, it’s necessary to set things straight with Yoongi finally. Slightly relieved after talking to Taehyung, Jimin focuses on giving his best friend advice for Jungkook.
Yoongi doesn’t text Jimin, and Jimin might be bold, but he has limits. No way he’ll reach out first with how embarrassed he is. The silence between them extends until the next time Jungkook comes to the apartment for his photoshoot. The perfect excuse to face this situation.
Jimin writes a quick text using the same excuse. Yoongi tells him to come over. To leave Taehyung and Jungkook alone.
With a beating heart and a voice called shame inside his head telling him not to do it, Jimin shows up at Yoongi’s, ready to apologize and ask for explanations.
Again, there’s no laptop in sight. Yoongi looks cuddly with a gray hoodie and a gummy smile. “Hey. What do you want to do today?”
Jimin needs clarification on his easygoing attitude. Yoongi acts like nothing awkward happened, but he hasn’t spoken to Jimin since the last time.
Things can’t go on like this. Jimin has been bottling up enough feelings and has reached a bursting point. He can’t pretend the last time didn’t happen. “I want to talk with you, hyung.”
Yoongi looks taken aback as he closes the door. “Talk?”
“Yes. Where can we talk?”
“Here in the living room? Where do you feel most comfortable?”
Yoongi looks around the apartment. “Ah— I don’t know. Come to the kitchen; let me give you something to drink and eat.”
“Alright.” Jimin follows him and sits on the small kitchen table as Yoongi boils water.
Yoongi plates some (recently?) homemade cookies with a shaky hand and brings matching mugs, sugar, and milk to the table, putting together the fastest but prettiest tea party Jimin has ever seen. Even at moments like this, Jimin appreciates how adorable Yoongi is.
“This is going to be awkward,” Jimin announces when Yoongi joins him at the table.
Yoongi nods, clenching his fists. “You can distract yourself with the tea. It helps to have something else to do when talking.”
Jimin smiles softly at him, but his following words are blunt.
“I want to apologize if my erection made you uncomfortable last time.”
Yoongi is quiet for a long second, and to make everything more dramatic, the water boils, a whistling sound cutting the air between them. Yoongi stands up to turn off the stove. “I’m sorry— I’m sorry.”
In a hurry, he pours the hot water and brings it to the table. “What were you saying?”
“Hyung, you heard it. Don’t make me repeat it.”
Yoongi sits back in his chair. “Yeah.”
They’re quiet for a moment, and they prepare their teas mechanically: pouring water and adding sugar.
Only when Jimin sips from his tea, Yoongi speaks, “it didn’t make me uncomfortable. So I hope you’re not feeling mortified about that.”
“I am so mortified.”
“Don’t be. I was flattered.”
Flattered? Jimin tries not to laugh at the absurdity. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”
“You could have told me it was okay and that I shouldn’t worry. We could have talked about it then.”
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“More than I already was?”
Yoongi shrugs, and that’s it. It already happened, so there’s no reason for Jimin to get stuck on it.
But Jimin still wants to talk about it; pushing past the embarrassment is necessary for the answer he wants. “So you weren’t uncomfortable.”
“I wasn’t.”
Jimin has to measure his words, not cross any line, so Yoongi won’t think badly of him, but he has to be bold again.
He’s already pushed his way until here; he can go further. “If you weren’t uncomfortable… would you say you liked it?”
“I appreciated it.”
“Appreciated it. How?”
“It’s reassuring to know you’re attracted to me.” A pause. “Unless it was just a body reaction to the cold air.”
“It was a body reaction to your hands on me and your cologne.” And how attractive Jimin finds him is implied in his words.
“Oh.” Yoongi gets it. “Then, I appreciate it.”
“Is that all? Appreciation?” Yoongi nods. “Could you be more direct with what you mean by that?”
Yoongi takes a deep breath. “What do you want to know, Jimin?”
“I guess I’m just wondering why you didn’t make a move?”
It looks like Yoongi didn’t expect that question. “I-”
“I don’t get it. You say stuff when we text that can be flirty, treat me nicely, and cuddle with me.”
“Cuddling while I’m hard!” Yoongi gulps. “But if you liked me, that would have been a natural place to make a move. You could have touched me, and if you wanted, something could have happened.”
Yoongi stares at Jimin in shock. “I’m-” he seems unable to form a coherent thought.
He grabs his mug, needing to steady himself. “I guess we’re having this conversation now.”
Jimin crosses his arms over his chest. “Yes, we are.”
The silence between them is awkward. Jimin doesn’t move an inch until Yoongi stands up, chair scraping against the kitchen floor.
He plops next to Jimin to be closer, but instinctively, Jimin pulls away. Yoongi looks hurt, but he still goes for it. “This is not how I wanted to tell you this.” A pause where they cannot glance at each other, but Yoongi searches for Jimin’s gaze. “Jimin, I like you.”
For words that he has been waiting to hear for so long, Jimin remains calm. And it’s only for a reason, “I know you do, hyung.”
But Yoongi doesn’t grow shy or look away. On the contrary, he keeps staring into Jimin’s eyes. “I like you a lot. So, so much.”
“So, why?”
“We started texting and seeing each other more often, and I suppose we flirt to your standards even though we never really talk- but what else do I have to do to get something from you?”
“It’s not something you do or not, Jimin. I don’t want to make a move right now.”
“Why not? You like me, and I like you!”
“Yes, but it wouldn’t work!” Yoongi moves his hand, speaking more intensely without raising his voice. “Something between us right now wouldn’t work.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I just think we both want different things.”
“I don’t get it. What makes you think that?”
Yoongi sighs. “Maybe I overthink too much, and I make a lot of suppositions, but I’ve liked you for a while, and because I know you, I always thought it wasn’t the right moment. You’re doing your thing and have to focus on that.”
“So I told myself I’d wait to confess and make a move. After you graduate, you’ll still be Taehyung’s friend, and I’ll still be around but in a different setting. Not one where it’s easy to see each other because of campus, but one where we’d have to make an effort to reach out.”
“But then you dyed your hair and looked so beautiful that I couldn’t stop myself. So we start texting, grocery shopping, and then we have this exchange: you say you want life-long meal supplies from me, and it’s a joke. Because that’s a joke to you and my bubble bursts.”
“And I remember it’s not the right time, and I remember I was waiting until you wanted a serious relationship.”
“But I do want one!” Jimin interrupts Yoongi, leaning closer to him.
The corner of Yoongi’s lips curls upward, but it’s not a sincere smile. “You do?”
“Yes!”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying!” Jimin whines, trying to convince Yoongi to want him back.
“Jimin. I’m serious here. I don’t think you understand how much I like you.” The words hang heavy. Jimin gulps at the intensity of his gaze. “I didn’t want to say anything before.”
“I don’t want to be overwhelming or creepy.”
“Creepy,” Jimin whispers. That’s an odd choice of word.
Yoongi opens his mouth only to close it again. “I like you. I pay attention to you and what you do and say when you’re here and online. And from what I see, from what I think-”
“You’re still at the moment where you don’t have the same objectives as me. Even if we’re only two years apart, everyone has their own pace, and I don’t think our paces are at the same wavelength, and that’s a bad starting point for a relationship.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know how you post those selfies for people to praise you, and you come onto me more sexually than romantically.”
Something akin to shame washes over Jimin. “I post those selfies for you! And I might come onto you sexually, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to date you!”
“Date me to figure things out? See where it goes?”
“Yes! That’s why people date, hyung!”
“I don’t date to figure things out.”
Jimin squints his eyes. “What does that mean? Do you want to marry me or something?” Yoongi keeps quiet. Jimin’s mouth falls open. “Are you for real?”
“I mean, I don’t want to propose!” Yoongi’s face is burning red. “But I’ve only dated two people before, and I know I want to date someone when I can think of a future with that person. And with you, I really like what I’ve thought about….”
“Hyung, you haven’t even dated me.”
“How would you know what a future with me would be like?”
Yoongi looks uncomfortable, playing with his fingers, but Jimin can’t bring himself to mind. “I just know.”
“With an idealized version of myself, maybe.”
“No. With you.”
He’s earnest, and Jimin doesn’t say a word.
He’s processing the bizarre conversation at a slow pace, but Yoongi is the mortified one now. “You think I’m creepy,” he says.
“No.” A pause. “A little overwhelming. A lot.”
“Yeah.” He doesn’t argue.
Neither of them says a word more, staring at the lukewarm tea on the table.
Jimin has been waiting for Yoongi to like him back for so long, but now that he knows Yoongi does, it’s not like Jimin expected it to be. It seems like Yoongi wants more from Jimin than Jimin anticipated, and Jimin isn’t ready for that. But he’s confused mainly by his logic.
Jimin always thought he was the one after Yoongi, pining and planning how to get close, but the elder had an even more extensive plan.
“Jimin, I didn’t make a move because it would have ruined my shot at something more serious with you,” Yoongi tries to fill the silence.
“If we get together now, it won’t work, so I wanted to wait,” he explains again with a low voice.
Jimin is repeating the conversation in his head, and something keeps bothering him. “You wanted to wait until I stopped being slutty?”
“What?” Yoongi frowns. “I didn’t say that.”
“Posting sexy photos for attention, coming onto you sexually but not romantically, and doing my thing without being serious at all. Those were your words. What am I supposed to get from that, hyung?”
“Jimin—”
“What if I never stop being this way? You would never confess?”
“I didn’t— I don’t know why you’re saying this,” Yoongi is stuttering, trying to come up with something to say, but Jimin stands up.
“I gotta go. I don’t know if you ruined your shot or not. I don’t know what to say.”
“Wait.” Yoongi stands up too.
“I’ll see you, I guess.”
In the next five days, Yoongi and Jimin don’t text again.
Even if he wants to vent, Jimin doesn’t mention their conversation with Taehyung. His best friend is too busy making out with Jungkook, and he’s happy. Jimin doesn’t want to throw his problems at him. At least, not now.
It's a cloudy day when Jimin walks outside of class and finds Yoongi in the small garden at the center of the faculty. He's a graduate; it makes no sense for him to be here.
Jimin considers taking the longer path outside to avoid him, but Yoongi finds him among the crowd.
He doesn’t come nearer but closes his hands into fists as if stopping himself. Jimin walks toward him, still angry and clueless about their talk. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.”
Jimin blinks and doesn’t say a word. Yoongi must take that as his cue to speak.
“I don’t think you’re slutty,” Yoongi blurts.
People walking out of the Faculty glance at them with amused eyes, and Jimin blushes everywhere. “What? Hyung, shut up!”
In distress, Jimin grabs his hand without overthinking or holding his breath like he would have done before.
He drags Yoongi outside the Faculty. “Seriously! How did you get in? You don’t have a student ID.”
“I studied here,” Yoongi speaks lowly, letting Jimin pull him around until they reach the parking lot, where there are fewer people. “I have a student code.”
Jimin groans.
“They just let graduates walk inside?” Jimin starts walking again, taking the path to the exit.
Yoongi follows. “Yeah.”
“Wow, they need to perfect the security then,” Jimin bites, and Yoongi nods, taking it in a stride. “How did you know I had class at this hour?”
“You’ve stopped by the apartment around this hour before. This was your canceled class from some weeks ago. I would have come before, but I didn’t want to find you when you and Taehyung had free time. That would have been weird with him there.”
“You’re sounding like a creep.”
“Remembering my schedule and looking for me when I’m alone.”
Yoongi lets go of Jimin’s hand and stops walking. “Jimin, I get it if you don’t want to see me and don’t like me anymore or find me creepy now that you’re disappointed by me. But I wanted to defend myself in person.”
“I didn’t want to imply that you're slutty. In my rambling, it seemed like I don’t consider you seriously because of your sexual choices or habits, but that’s not what I meant with different objectives or moments in our lives.”
Jimin rolls his eyes, annoyed again. “Whatever.”
“I’m sorry for my wording that day and how it came out. I’m sorry I didn’t take my words back at that instant. That was the first time I was saying my reasoning aloud, and I didn’t express myself in the best way.”
Yoongi looks ready to go on, but Jimin doesn’t let him.
He only crosses his arms over his chest. “Okay. Is that all you have to say?”
“Jimin, I-” Yoongi is stuttering again, and Jimin wonders if he should listen to him again, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to.
“I’m busy, hyung.”
“Okay. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone now.”
He wants it, but Jimin still feels terrible when Yoongi walks away. He shouldn’t feel bad; Yoongi was the one who said stuff that hurt Jimin, accused Jimin of being immature, and made choices and assumptions about them without considering Jimin’s feelings.
Jimin hates that.
He doesn’t want to see Yoongi because it hurts. And lucky for him, Taehyung is busy finishing his project, so they don’t spend their free hours at Yoongi’s apartment. Jimin doesn’t even check who watches his stories. He doesn’t post much anymore, either. There’s no reason to.
He only hears about Yoongi once the elder asks on the group chat if they want food. Taehyung replies first, begging for a homemade meal and sending a detailed list.
Jimin goes out to not cross paths with Yoongi. He tells Taehyung a good excuse that has to do with finals.
But when he returns to the apartment, much later than usual, not to accidentally meet him, Yoongi is at the entrance downstairs. He watches something on his phone but notices Jimin’s presence.
“You surely didn’t want to come off as creepy.”
Yoongi doesn’t defend himself.
“Maybe I wasn’t upstairs earlier 'cus I didn’t want to see you.” Jimin crosses his arms over his chest. “What do you want, hyung?”
“I wanted—” But he suddenly falls quiet, stares, and chuckles in the end. “Nevermind. You look good.”
Before Jimin can react, Yoongi turns around.
Upstairs, there are containers on the kitchen counter. Jimin’s favorite vegetable stir-fry is among them, even if Taehyung didn’t add it to the list. It’s not frozen, but ready to eat and has gone cold now.
It makes him angry, but his vision blurs when he throws it into the pan.
It should be creepy, but it’s not, just like Yoongi remembering Jimin’s classes. It was creepy because he was mad. But it’s sweet that Yoongi paid attention to him. What he does and likes. Yoongi cooked this when he took Jimin grocery shopping, and he makes it once a week.
Always when Jimin and Taehyung visit.
Jimin blames his tears on the onions, even if they’re already cooked, and eats in his bedroom, so Taehyung doesn’t see him and demands answers. As quick as that, he goes from angry to sulky, wondering why things didn’t turn out as he wanted.
Catching Taehyung and Jungkook kissing at all times doesn’t help at all. He complains about them eating in front of hungry people and plops between them on the couch, forcing them apart. He feels them sharing a guilty smile over the top of his head. They’re the worse.
He suggests taking Taehyung to one of their heels class to get his revenge on Taehyung. But the couple loves the idea. On Saturday, they go to the class, and his best friend never takes his eyes off Jungkook. It makes him jealous, and Jimin wishes Yoongi would be here.
But then he’ll probably think Jimin is too slutty or something stupid, so it’s better this way.
When Jimin sees Jungkook and Taehyung whispering together, Jimin remembers when Jungkook’s crush encouraged him to reach out to Yoongi. That seduction plan seems so far away now.
Driven by that memory, Jimin takes a selfie in the mirror. But he feels inadequate now. So instead of taking it alone, he asks some of his classmates if they want to appear. They agree, and Jimin tags them on Instagram.
It’s not a sexy photo, and that doesn’t seem right.
Out of anger and remembering Yoongi’s words, Jimin takes another selfie in the bathroom, a sexy one, only to post and spite Yoongi.
After class, Jimin can’t talk to Taehyung. He left with Jungkook, probably kissing him and doing everything Jimin wished Yoongi would do to him.
Yoongi watches both stories. But he doesn’t reply to any.
It was always like that, but it feels so different right now. How can something so simple break his heart as much? When Taehyung returns to the apartment, he’s in a good mood. Jimin keeps everything to himself.
Jimin posts a selfie again, needing the rush he gets only from seeing Yoongi’s name in the list, but Yoongi doesn’t see it at night. A day passes, it disappears, and Yoongi doesn’t see it. And it’s not a one-day thing. It happens again. He doesn’t see anything Jimin posts.
And Jimin shouldn’t care. But he does, and it angers him again.
After one cute mirror selfie showing the touch-ups to his red hair disappears after twenty fours hours without Yoongi seeing it, he has enough. He scrolls down to Yoongi’s private message and types fast.
“You’re not watching my stories anymore.”
The reply comes in less than a second. “I thought you'd find it creepy if I did.”
Only if Jimin didn’t want them. “You’re supposed to like me soooo much, but you don’t even watch my stories.” Jimin types with unnecessary force.
The typing bubble appears, and Jimin stares at it until it turns into text. “After telling me to leave both times, I reached out. I thought it was for the best.”
“You need to stop thinking. I don’t like how you think.”
“Here’s something without a thought, then.”
A pause.
“Do you want to talk to me?”
Jimin replies, also, without thinking. “No.”
Yoongi doesn’t give up. “Then why do you want me to watch your stories?”
Jimin plops on his bed and wonders where’s Yoongi if he’s on his bed too. “I don’t know. I’m evil and want you to suffer.”
“Do you still want to marry me if I’m evil, or does that go against your idealized version of myself?”
“I never said I wanted to marry you. You said that.” Jimin blinks. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy to date you. I didn’t expect you not to have a personality or never get angry.”
“Again, it was you who said that idealized thing. And I’ve heard you talk shit about people when you lay on my couch with Taehyung. I know you can be mean and evil.” Jimin’s fingers hover over the screen, but he almost lets it go when Yoongi sends another text. “It’s hot.”
"So I'm difficult and hot. You’re such a charmer." After sending it, Jimin changes the topic. "Is this what you wanted to talk about?”
“Talking implies having two willing people. So I think I’ll make a statement.”
“What’s your statement?”
“I’ve been thinking about you.”
Jimin sits up, clutching the phone close to him. “I made many assumptions about what you wanted with me without asking you. That was wrong of me. Overthinking and doubting myself is no excuse for assuming your thoughts and feelings and thinking I know better than you.”
Every word runs away from Jimin's head. He can't answer, but Yoongi isn't expecting him to.
“I fucked up. I didn’t want to fuck up so badly that I ended up doing it.” Jimin reads the text over and over, learning every word. “I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to say.”
For a long moment, Jimin doesn't type a response. He should lock his phone and continue to ignore Yoongi, but he doesn't want to. He likes Yoongi. After whatever this way, he still likes Yoongi and might like him even more now that Yoongi has apologized.
He's trying so hard.
He's been trying more than Jimin, despite Jimin's evitative behavior. Is that the kind of boyfriend he'll be? The one that leaves Jimin's favorite food in his apartment after a fight and apologizes as many times as necessary?
It sounds like a good kind of boyfriend.
And with Yoongi's face on top of everything. That's a dream boyfriend, even if he needs communication classes and a couple of scoldings from Jimin. But not everyone is perfect.
Just like that, Jimin is daydreaming about Yoongi again. He likes him; after all, that never stopped.
"If I accept your apology," Jimin types. "What does it mean for us?"
Yoongi replies right away. "That we can finally talk."
"I want to talk."
"Could it be through here? I'm better at talking when it's through text. I've fucked up every time we've done it in person."
"We need to talk in person," Jimin says. "You'll get better at it with practice." He adds a winky emoji, and Yoongi sends a crying one.
"Are you really not mad at me anymore?" he asks.
"We'll see," Jimin decides to torture him a little longer. "Are you home?"
"Yeah." Sad face.
The pouty emoji wasn't an exaggeration, when Yoongi opens the door to his apartment, he looks just like that. Before taking off his shoes, Jimin steps towards him and pulls him into a hug, with his arms around his neck.
Slowly, Yoongi brings his hands to Jimin's middle.
Before, touching Yoongi like this would have made Jimin's heart beat fast. But tonight, it puts him at ease. They stay close until Yoongi mumbles a small 'hey' against Jimin's neck.
Jimin pulls away and meets his gaze. "Do you still like me?"
Yoongi nods quickly. "Do you?"
"Yeah," Jimin admits. They must really like each other; neither breaks the hug. Yoongi even brings a hand to Jimin's face, studying it closely.
"Have you eaten?" Jimin shakes his head. "Can I cook for you?"
"Can you give me a kiss first?" Yoongi's jaw drops. "Just a peck!"
It takes Yoongi a second too long to process the request, but he complies with Jimin's wants and closes the distance between them with a dry and clumsy peck. But it's perfect for Jimin, who breaks into a beam.
That only causes Yoongi to kiss him again, again and again.
Before the pecks can turn into something more when Jimin opens his mouth, Yoongi pulls away. He closes the door and drags a giggly Jimin towards the kitchen. He orders him to sit on the counter and to stay away from the food, and Jimin complies, feeling too giddy to complain.
"What does this mean, hyung?" Jimin starts, swaying his legs while watching Yoongi cook. "Your apology and the kisses?"
"It means I don't get to decide when you're ready for a relationship. Only you decide that." Yoongi grabs a pot and fills it with water. "What do you think?"
Jimin takes a deep breath. "I think I'm ready, but I also think you had a point. I was a little immature these weeks, pushing you away when you wanted to apologize and fix things. I can see now what you meant by us being at different moments in our lives."
"A little?"
Even though his tone is teasing, Yoongi's smile is fond. He has stopped working to watch Jimin.
"Yes! Just a little," Jimin whines and closes his thumb and pointer finger. "A bit immature. I was upset, but that doesn't give me a free card to be mean to you."
Yoongi hums.
He comes closer and lays his hand on Jimin's thigh. "Is there anything you want to apologize about?"
Jimin won't look Yoongi in the eyes, partly because of Yoongi's hand going up and down and how embarrassed he feels. "Like what?"
"I don't know. Calling me a creep."
Jimin purses his lips.
"I didn't like that. When we talked, I said I didn't want to come off as creepy, and you called me creepy twice for doing stuff I thought was normal. Isn't knowing your crush's schedule and favorite food something normal? I pay attention. It's just that."
"Unless it's weird."
"It's not. I also know stuff about you," Jimin sighs. "I said it on purpose to hurt you." Yoongi hums, nodding slowly. "Plus, I didn't think you liked me that much, so it was a surprise that you'd know that stuff or wait downstairs in the cold for me."
"I told you I liked you."
"I didn't notice before, and suddenly you said you liked me so intensely, and I didn't think you were for real. I thought you just liked the idea of me, and I thought if I was mean, you'd stopped liking me, and that would have proven my point.
Yoongi tilts his head, searching for Jimin's gaze, and he smiles. "Don't you think it's a little mean that you didn't believe me? Or take me seriously?"
Jimin pushes him away softly. "It's hard to believe that you like me sooo much when we've never gone on dates or kissed."
Yoongi shrugs. "I don't need that to know. I already know your habits, how you behave with your friends and strangers, what makes you laugh, and what makes you angry. I've heard you complain and cheer about so much stuff out there while I was cooking. The rest I can learn."
"I already know what I need to know. That's how I see it."
Even if flattered, Jimin is resistant to his explanation. "Well, I need to know more about you before making lifelong promises."
When Yoongi laughs, the corner of his eyes crinkle. "That's okay. We can disagree."
"You don't need to do things my way, and I don't need to do things your way. What we need is to believe what the other claims to feel."
"And don't make assumptions," Jimin says to both of them. "Or choices for the other."
"Yeah, I know," Yoongi receives the scolding.
"I'm sorry I called you a creep and didn't let you explain yourself," Jimin murmurs. "I'm sorry I didn't take your confession seriously."
Jimin yelps when Yoongi pulls him into a sudden hug, standing between his open legs on the counter. "I was wrong, Jimin. I was very wrong."
"Or scared is a better word. I don't know," Yoongi chuckles against his head. "I convinced myself I couldn't make a move, and if it weren't for you, I'd probably stay like that for a lot longer. But you're brave, and that's- I like that a lot."
"Brave?" Jimin giggles.
Jimin wouldn't use such a strong word to describe it. "I'd say I'm bold."
"Isn't boldness a form of bravery? You're always putting yourself out there and getting trough any situation. I don't know how you do it."
Well, that makes sense. "Because I'm an extrovert?" Jimin tries.
Yoongi shakes his head. "You're silly."
"Maybe I'm bold because I'm a dancer! You know, heels class helps people gain more confidence."
"And you're hot on top of everything," Yoongi sighs, pressing his forehead to Jimin's shoulder, making Jimin blush everywhere.
"Weren't you making dinner for me?" Jimin squeaks, suddenly shy.
It looks like Yoongi must use great strength to pull away from Jimin, but eventually, he does. "You're right." Yoongi walks away but catches Jimin's smile. "What is it?"
"I'm happy you like me."
"I'm glad."
Yoongi focuses on the food, but after a minute of stealing glances at each other, Jimin gives up. "Come here again. We can eat later."
"That's a good idea." Yoongi returns to his new spot between Jimin's legs without a second thought, wrapping his arms around Jimin's middle.
They move to Yoongi's bedroom eventually. It's easier to hold each other close that way. Yoongi teases Jimin about getting hard again, and Jimin squeaks, almost running away from his arms, but Yoongi adds enough strength to keep him in place, which only makes Jimin redder.
"I really like your red hair," Yoongi whispers. "It matches your cheeks whenever you're around me."
"Please, stop it!" Jimin keeps trying to pull away, but he's mostly pretending, and it's just an excuse to feel Yoongi tighten his hold on him again. "Too many compliments."
"We went from one vague comment a month to this."
Yoongi has the decency to laugh. "I think I should be more consistent with my compliments. Wouldn't that avoid misunderstandings like the one from last time?"
At the mention of that, Jimin pouts. Yoongi kisses the pout away.
"I want to make things right, Jimin."
"You need to learn how to communicate better, then."
"Giving compliments isn't practice?" If Yoongi keeps hugging him so tightly, Jimin's body might betray him again.
"No!" Jimin squirms but always returns to Yoongi's chest.
"You need to tell me more complex feelings than 'I like your hair' or 'you're hot.' Those are impossible to misunderstand."
Yoongi frowns. "Something more complex? Like what?"
"Like... what are we right now? After everything. What is the status of our relationship?"
For some reason, that question makes Yoongi laugh. "How's that a complex question? We're dating. You're my boyfriend."
"You haven't even asked me! You're the worse, hyung!" Jimin's voice goes high, mostly because he's flustered.
"I thought it was implied with everything."
"You have to ask, hyung," Jimin rolls his eyes. "Those things aren't implied!"
"But I wouldn't cuddle and kiss someone that isn't my boyfriend."
"Well, I would. I would do much more with a stranger, so you need to check with me to ensure we're on the same page."
Yoongi understands right away. "Are we dating?" he asks.
Jimin pushes him away. "Be romantic about it!" That seems challenging for Yoongi, whose expression shows his effort to think. "Okay, but don't think too hard," Jimin giggles.
"What should I do? I'll do what you want."
"I think you should start by explaining why you changed your mind from wanting to wait to make a move to wanting to be my boyfriend," Jimin says, curious.
Yoongi shrugs. "I had a plan that didn't work out, so I had to adapt to the new situation. The objective is still the same."
Jimin tries not to laugh at his choice of words.
There's a lot of work to do with how Yoongi expresses his feelings. There's a reason he prefers keeping quiet, watching, and cooking to talking, but Jimin likes him so much he'll put in the work to try to understand what he means.
"Are you saying I'm the goal? Do you see me as some prize instead of a person?" Jimin teases, only to see Yoongi spluttering to explain himself better. "I know you don't; I'm sorry!"
He pulls a pouty Yoongi into a hug. "I'm so bad at this."
"It's okay. I like it."
"I want to see you get better at this," Jimin gestures between them. "I'm sure I'll get better too. We have a thing or two to learn from the other, right?"
Yoongi smiles before pressing his lips to Jimin's.
Taehyung is going to lose it when Jimin tells him everything.
the enddid you notice how he went from having a crush to falling in love? 
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