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šŸ–¤ Terri (they/them) šŸ–¤ VIBE šŸ–¤
@YooniesPouts

Jan 22, 2023
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#yoonmin drabble - Imagine a world where love came with pain. Where if you fell in love with someone, and they loved you back, a timer would appear. A timer above your lover's head, a countdown more like. A countdown to their final heartbeat. Yoongi didn't have to imagine.

Tags - angst, mentions of illness, cystic fibrosis, doctor Yoongi, ill Jimin, soulmates (kind of), MCD (but not really šŸ‘€), happy ending
Yoongi watches, he always watches, as patients and their loved ones cry. Tears of pain and sadness as they watch have to watch the timers count down. In a hospital, as you can imagine, many timers reach zero. Patients hearts beating for the last time as their lovers cry in pain.
He was numb to it by now, his job made easier as he has no lover of his own, wo he doesn't understand the pain. He vowed a long time ago that he would never fall in love.
For you see, life is cruel. Love is cruel. The heart is cruel. Love. A joyful and happy thing. At least that's what people say. That it's something to not take for granted, as it won't be there forever. Except, humanity did take it for granted. At least they used to.
Up until the gods got sick of humanity being so selfish. And every pair of lovers could now see a timer, a countdown, above the others head. Noone knew what it was when they appeared, but it didn't take long for them to find out.
A countdown to your lover's last heartbeat. A sadistic thing, having to see how long you have left with the person you love. But it also made humanity see how valuable love really is. Fake love no longer an issue, you cannot lie. Cheating, abuse, all of it gone, for toxic love
Is not considered true enough to ignite a counter. Many people choose not to pursue relationships, not wanting the pain. Aromantic people seem to live in harmony, once scorned, now envied.
Yoongi is one of those people. Not an aromantic - at least he doesn't think so, he hasn't dared to attempt any relationship to find out - but someone who stays alone. The loneliness being less painful. He learned at a young age not to dare fall in love. He watched his mother.
Everything in her broken after his father died. The deep depression she fell into. How she never recovered, becoming a shell of herself. Yoongi had to watch as she barely ate, barely slept. The government taking her away one day to go to a facility of the brokenhearted.
For you see, love itself has also changed. It grows at a deeper level. It's roots implanting in every aspect of your being, only to be ripped out and leave you bleeding at the end. Yoongi vowed to never fall in love.
But that vow, may be tested, by one Park Jimin.
Jimin is unlike any patient that Yoongi has treated before. He's hardly ever sad, even if he's been stuck in a hospital for for the past 3 years. Hooked up to a ventilator to keep him alive. Cystic fibrosis. It was a disease that was a bitch. Yoongi hated it.
(A/n I'm not a doctor so this will be very vague, sorry if things are wrong)
Constant fluid buildup in the lungs, making it hard to breathe. It limited practically everything. Especially for Jimin. Yoongi learned, while doing his rounds, that Jimin used to be a dancer. His shortness of breath was put down to asthma for years, until he collapsed.
He collapsed during his biggest performance, the fluid in his own lungs drowning him from the inside. But he still remained cheerful. Always smiling, that half moon smile, revealing that slightly crooked front tooth, cheeks turning into dumplings.
Yoongi never meant to fall in love, but Park Jimin didn't care.
Jimin found every one of those walls and smashed right through them. With his laugh, his flushed cheeks, his cheeky winks, his adorable pout. Yoongi found himself looking forward to the days he got to see the younger. Always telling him about his life, Jimin demanding to see
pictures of his dog Holy, telling Yoongi that he should get a cat because he acts like one and even looks like one. It was by accident that Yoongi found out that Jimin sang like an angel. His rounds going quicker than usual, stumbling to Jimins room earlier and hearing him.
He had opened the door quietly and just watched, Jimin sat on the bed, the light from the window shining through and hitting him, making him look ethereal. Yoongi could hardly breathe. He had felt it then, his own heart rate picking up, thudding in his chest. He was doomed.
It was on Jimin's 27th birthday that Yoongi would find out just how doomed he was. Jimin had friends visiting, all of them having to go through the decontamination procedures - tedious, but Yoongi could see how much they cared for their friend.
The day so far has been going well, watching movies, eating junk food. When Yoongi walks into the room Jimin introduces him to everyone. Jung Hosoek and Jeon Jungkook - two men of whom used to be Jimins fellow dancers. And Kim Taehyung - Jimins best friend, aka soulmate.
They invite him to stay and watch a movie but unfortunately Yoongi can't, he has work to do. Jimin looks sad at that, making his heart seize, but it can't be helped. Instead he decides to go an see Jimin in the evening, once his shift ends.
"Jimin-ah," Yoongi calls out as he knocks on the hospital room door, hearing movement on the other side before the door is being opened. "Hyung!" Jimin smiles wide, beckoning the elder over to the bed, "I saved you a slice of cake! Had to stop Kook from eating it."
Yoongi smiles softly, saying a quiet thanks before pulling out a small wrapped gift box from his inner coat. "Here, Happy Birthday Jiminie." Jimin just looks at him in awe, carefully taking the box.
"You didn't have to." "I wanted to," Yoongi flushes slightly, fiddling with his fingers as he watches the younger peel the wrapping paper away and open the box inside. "Yoongi-" Jimins words are cut off as he just stares at the earrings sitting inside.
They're simple, yet delicate and beautiful. The hanging chains reminding Yoongi of the earrings he'd seen Jimin wearing in old pictures he would show him. "I remember you said before that you used to like dressing up, but you don't anymore because you don't see a point."
"But if its something that makes you happy, then that's enough for you to do it." Tears shine in Jimin's eyes as he closes the box and looks up, meeting Yoongi's gaze. They both feel it then. The fierce beating of their hearts. The way blood rushes through them.
Tingles attacking their bodies. All before Yoongi's worst nightmare appears. Those stupid numbers.
A single tear falls down Jimins cheek as he watches Yoongis reaction. "How long?" His voice is quiet, croaky, and full of emotion. Tears spring in Yoongis own eyes as he takes in the timer, watching the seconds go down. "Not long enough."
They both knew, even before the timers appeared, that Jimins condition was getting worse. But this was just a confirmation to Yoongi. They don't talk about it, not even discussing what it means for the timers to appear. Yoongi doesn't tell Jimin how long, he knows what that
does to people. They just sit there, fingers intertwined, as they both let out tears of anguish and pain for a love that they could never fully have.
Yoongi doesn't tell anyone. He can't. He goes against protocol and doesn't tell the hospital. It's the law, everyone's dates must be reported - it's to stop interfering with nature. If someone is in the hospital and their timer runs out, they won't be helped. Nothing can be done
It's a rule that Yoongi doesn't agree with.
He spends more time with Jimin, at least a couple of hours a day after his shift, even coming in on days off to see him. They watch shows, play games, even make funny little songs together when Yoongi brings in his laptop. And each day, Yoongi feels like he's falling more.
It's after a bad day that Yoongi finds Jimin crying. That happy face gone and in its place is helplessness and despair. He's not getting any better. All the tests say one thing - his lungs won't last much longer.
Yoongi doesn't speak as he enters. Discarding his shoes and curling up on the bed with Jimin, pulling him into his arms and rocking him back and forth. He knows he shouldn't - as a doctor he really shouldn't. But everything in him screams that he has to.
"I don't want to die," Jimin croaks out into the silence, breath wheezing with every inhale. Yoongis own breath wavers, tears falling down his cheeks. "I know."
Days pass too quickly. Yoongi watching as the timer counts down. He tries not to show it, but Jimin can tell. "How long?" The younger croaks out, his condition only getting worse. Yoongi looks up, staring at the numbers floating above Jimins head.
"Not long enough," He whispers out, cupping Jimins cheek. "Is it long enough for you to kiss me?" Jimins eyes plead for affection, for he is in love too, and he craves it. Yoongi has always said no, it's too risky, they can't risk Jimin catching anything through a kiss.
But is it really a risk anymore? Tears shimmer in Yoongis eyes as he leans in, tipping Jimins chin up and softly presses their lips together. It feels perfect, like they belong together. It quickly turns wet with tears and they pull away, their foreheads still pressed together.
"Promise me," Jimins voice whispers out, "promise me that you'll be okay." Yoongi looks at him, really looks at him. Taking in every pore in his skin, every eyelash, everything, and realises that no. He won't be. "I will never lie to you."
Jimin sobs, his head falling into the crook of Yoongis neck as his whole body cries with him. Yoongi just strokes a hand through his hair, trying to soothe the man he loves. The man that in 4 days time, will no longer be with him. Love is pain, but Yoongi realises it's worth it
"JIMIN-AH, THERE IS A DONOR." Doctor Kim Seokjin rushes through the door, stopping in his tracks as he takes in Jimin curled up asleep in his colleagues lap. His face falls as he takes in Yoongi's tear stained cheeks. "Oh Yoongi-ya, please tell me you didn't."
"I didn't have a choice," Yoongi croaks out, caressing Jimin's back. Jin looks at him with sympathy, seeing the love in the youngers eyes as he looks down at the dying boy. "You have a donor?" "Yes, but if his timer-" "That has nothing to do with it," Yoongis tone harsh.
"Yoongi-ya, you know the rules..." They stare, eyes locked on one another before Yoongi crumbles. "Hyung, please, we need to at least try." Jin sighs, he knows its wrong, but he nods in agreement. "Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon."
Yoongi looks back at the timer about Jimins head and holds him tighter. Tomorrow evening, 3 hours into surgery. Is when Jimins heart will beat for the final time.
4 hours. Jimin has 4 hours left. Everytime Yoongi looks up at that damn timer his heart feels like its going to stop. Jimin can tell. He knows that he won't survive the surgery. Every sad, grief-filled look on yoongis face tells him that.
"Yoongi-hyung, look at me," He croaks out, grabbing Yoongi's hand as the nurses prep him for surgery. "Please look at me," Yoongi does, he looks up, and can't help but grin as that beautiful smile adorns Jimins face. The one he fell in love with.
"Whatever happens, I just want you to know, I love you." Yoongi stops breathing. They hadn't said it yet, it made it all too real. "I love you with everything I have, and you have made me the happiest man in the world these past few months." "Jimin-ah -"
"Shh, let me finish." Jimin sits up, ignoring the nurses trying to get him to lie back down. "I've been so lucky to have you love me, to have you look after me and care for me. But I want you to do that for yourself, okay?" Yoongi grips Jimins hand tightly and cups his cheek.
He leans in and presses a passionate kiss to his lips, tears spilling down their cheeks. "I love you too Jimin-ah, with all my heart." They take in the moment for as long as they can, Yoongi trying as hard as he cat to take in the small features of Jimins face.
"It's time," the nurse interrupts. One last smile, that's what Yoongi sees, before Jimin is whisked away.
Yoongi needs to move, fast.
He practically runs to Namjoons office, barging into the man just as he's leaving. "Joon-ah, I need you to do me a favour." "What?" "You're supervising the transplant in OR3 right?" "Yeah, how did you-" "Give it to me, let me do it." Namjoon stops and stares at the elder.
"Hyung, Jin told me." Everything in Yoongi suddenly feels weak. No. Why? He needs to get into that operating room. "Please Joon, I'm begging you," He grabs ahold of the others coat and pulls on it. "Hyung, I really shouldn't..." "If it were Jin on that operating table, what
would /you/ do?" Yoongi raises an eyebrow, and watches with satisfaction as Namjoons whole face changes before he sighs. "Fine, but if anyone asks I had no idea about you and the patients relationship." "Agreed."
Yoongi rushes to the operating room, scrubbing in for the surgery. He doesn't exactly want to be there, but at least as a supervisor he won't actually have to do any of the surgery. On anyone else it would just be another day, but Jimin? No. He can't.
He watches the timer countdown. Through every step of the transplant surgery. It's tedious, meticulous. He's to be done perfectly. The surgenons work well, eventually getting old lungs out and the new ones in. They even get the new lungs working, taking out the bypass machine
It seems like everything is fine. But Yoongi knows its not. He knows what's coming. The timer above Jimins head still counting down as they stitch him up.
1 minute left.
"Everything seems fine, well done everyone."
30 seconds left.
"His heart seems a bit uneven, we should keep an eye on it."
20 seconds left.
"It should be fine, let's just hope there's no infection."
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
"HES CRASHING." The room is suddenly in an uproar, doctors grabbing different items as Yoongi just watches, shock still, almost like he didn't think it would actually happen. He watches, in a haze, as they grab the defibrillator, shocking Jimins body, trying to being life back.
They try again and again. Over and over. Until they don't. Until they stop trying. "Time of death -" "NO" Yoongis voice shouts out in the room, desperation on his rushes forwards. "Try again." "But Doctor -" "AGAIN."
The staff just stand there, until one of them grabs the paddles. Jin. "You heard him, again." Yoongi locks eyes with Jin, tears streaming down his face as he grabs Jimins wire-filled hand. He cries and cries, refusing defeat as Jin takes control of the room.
He pulls away as the next shock is sent through Jimins frail body. And the room seems to hold its breath. Yoongis eyes are blurry with years but his ears can still hear it. The beep. The slow but steady beep of Jimins heart beating.
He's alive.
Yoongi sobs, looking up and seeing the timer gone, unaware of what he's just done. He doesn't care how impossible it is for Jimin to still be alive. He doesn't care about anything else, not when the man he loves' heart is till beating.
Everything is a blur from then out. Jin having to escort him out of the room, basically carrying him as his legs no longer work. He misses how every news channel is reporting the same thing;
"Lovers countdowns everywhere are disappearing without a trace, could the gods have finally shown mercy on us?"
Yoongi spends the next couple of days by Jimins bedside, waiting for him to wake up, making sure everything is fine. He's asleep when it happens, waking up to his hand being squeezed by a small and delicate one. "Jimin-ah!" He practically springs out of his chair.
He rushes to grab a cup of water, carefully helping the younger take a few small sips. "I'm alive?" Jimin breathes out, looking up at Yoongi in confusion, before panic fills him. "Yoongi! Your timer!" "I know, it's gone, they're all gone." "How?" Jimins eyes are wide.
"I don't know, but I don't care, you're alive, and that's all I care about." Jimin smiles, /that/ smile, the one that Yoongi didn't know if he'd ever see again. "The surgery worked Jimin-ah," Yoongi whispers out, gripping Jimins hand again, "with treatment you should have
a long time before it bothers you again." Tears fill Jimins eyes as he weakly pulls Yoongi onto the bed next to him, cuddling up next to the man he loves, careful of his healing surgery incision. "Thank you, I wouldn't be here without you Yoongi-hyung." "Don't be stupid"
"I'm not being stupid, you kept my soul alive all this time, I would have lost everything if it weren't for you, thank you." They lock eyes, sharing a small smile. "I love you Jimin-ah." "I love you too Yoongi-hyung." The press of their lips together is like coming home.
Love is pain, but sometimes, just sometimes. It's worth it.
Ahahahahaha hope you enjoyed, if I made you cry I'm sorry, but I also made myself cry soooo lol sorry for any medical people reading this - the inaccuracies must hurt yall. Let me know what you think! Love you all šŸ’œ curiouscat.me/YooniesPouts
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