6 Core Traits of Dysfunctional Families:
Growing up in a dysfunctional family can feel like a pressure cooker or like you're walking on eggshells. Having awareness around the dysfunctional patterns we've learned, allows us to break the cycle.
1. Denial: denial is a main coping mechanism of dysfunctional families. It allows members to avoid the true (deeper) issues and continue the cycle of dysfunction. Blame, high reactivity, and defensiveness are a pattern.
2. Lack of Repair: inability to cope with conflict that looks like pretending conflict didn't occur, engaging in silent treatment, lashing out, or shaming.
3. Emotional enmeshment: no emotional boundaries between family members. This looks like getting involved with each other's conflict, giving each other directives of how to engage ("you need to say x to mom"), or having children meet the needs of parents.
4. Shaming self talk: shaming self talk shows up the way parent figures speak about themselves or directly to their children and creates low self worth
ex: "I'm an idiot" "You're so stupid" "I can't do anything right" "You can't do anything right" "
5. Intense cycles of fear: at the core of a dysfunctional family is high levels of fear that leads to constant crisis. Members lack the ability to self regulate which leads to controlling/micromanaging behaviors as a way to cope.
6. One member controls the emotional tone of the home: in healthy families, everyone can feel their own emotions. In dysfunctional families one person's behavior, mood, and choices dictate the emotional tone of the entire home.
If you're breaking the cycle, comment what you've had to unlearn *most* from growing up in a dysfunctional family
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