social media au
When Jungkook finds the strength to confess his undying love to Min Yoongi, his childhood best friend, it turns out that Yoongi had another plan with the sole proposition of forgetting about Jungkook.
-childhood friends to lovers
-angst with happy ending
please please please don't pay attention to the dates they are not important
5. next day
6. Yoongi's pov
7. It's friday and Jungkook is panicking
12. Namjoon is a wise man
13. Jungkook's overthinking a bit
22. yoongi's not fine
23. but neither is jungkook
24. minimoni cracking the puzzle
29. Yoongi is trying to prove some points...
30. [gay panics]
32. what if chaos is the only truly meaningful thing I can experience
41. tae is one step ahead
43. Kookie is ready
47. it's happening. they are finally seeing each other.
It hasn’t been long since they arrived at the bar, but Jungkook’s making sure to get wasted before the cataclysm comes and nicks their bubble of tempo music, constant shouts and the heavy smell of sin that hangs thick on the air that surrounds them.
His friends are talking non-stop, trying to distract his mind from the imminent chaos that’s about to happen under this exact same roof, but Jungkook’s ears are deaf to the words they speak to him as he ends his margarita and asks for a round of tequila for the four of them.
“Do you want to get alcohol poisoning?” Seokjin asks, and even though he’s trying to sound stern because he’s his Hyung, and after all, he wants to take care of Jungkook as best as he can,
his pitch makes it evident that he’s amused by Jungkook’s antics to cope with his evident anxiousness and his imminent distress.
"Please, I'm preparing for disaster," he declares dramatically, taking the shot as soon as the barman lands them in front of them. He’s not used to hard drinks, so it stings in the back of his throat.
He shakes his head to stop the burning feeling and looks back at his friends that are sitting in a row next to him; he’s glad that’s Seokjin by his side, because Taehyung and Hoseok are known to become too affectionate under substance abuse.
"Maybe we should have told him to come alone, he would have understood," Hoseok suggests, and when Jungkook frowns at him from the other end he finds the shaming shadow of sorrow in his friend's eyes, so Jungkook does what he has to do and crawls over Seokjin,
who supports his weight by the waist and starts laughing loudly as he steals Hoseok’s shot and takes it right in front of him. “You were paying anyway” Hoseok claims after Jungkook puts the glass down with a dramatic force and a challenging gaze.
"He wanted to come with him, Hyung,” he speaks once he’s sitting back at his stool, his composure back to a firm stand and a winning smirk that doesn’t feel like a smile as much as he tries to. “We have to support him."
"And it's already too late!” Taehyung exclaims and Jungkook wants to cuss at him because, after all, this is all his fault. This was supposed to be a night out just between the two, and now it has turned into Jungkook’s most terrifying nightmare “They are coming our way."
Jungkook doesn't look back, his stare fixed on every bottle behind the bar, and in every breath that takes so much effort, and on every gaze that’s penetrating his body and soul.
He's starting to regret the entire situation; he knows the clock is ticking and though he doesn’t know how much time the bomb has left until it explodes, he knows it shouldn’t be too long.
“Hyung is the one paying!” Jungkook exclaims in a rush, as he takes Seokjin’s shot in a sprint and doesn’t leave him a place to bicker. His head is still pushed back as the burning liquid falls down his when he feels a hand grab his shoulder with a grip that’s disarmingly known.
His tipsy self wants to raise his own hand and caress Yoongi’s fingers, as he would have done in a past that feels light years away.
“Since when do you drink anything that isn't margaritas?” Jungkook knows him better than anyone else, so he certainly grasps how hard Yoongi is trying to sound casual as if this friday was like every other, as if two weeks ago the distance between their bodies wasn’t nonexistent,
as if they weren’t supposed to orbit in space constructed by years of a bond that felt exactly like fate to his every cell.
Jungkook chuckles at the intent to fool him, he’s already drunk, so it’s easier to let it pass by even when his chest aches and the chuckle dies inside his throat that’s still on fire.
He looks over his shoulder because he has to rip the bandaid and he was a fool, to think that it would be easier to take in just because he’s not in his right mind;
he thinks it’s even harder to drown the smile and tie his hands to the empty glass so he doesn’t pull him just a bit closer.
His heart is rushing inside his chest and maybe he hasn’t been more aware in his life of how in love he is as Yoongi is right there and he looks no different from the last time he saw him,
with his long hair growing past his ears and sharp eyes that are examining Jungkook’s demeanour with a sense of nostalgia that sparks up his intense gaze.
Jungkook clears his throat and smiles at him, but it hurts his chin as it falters down when his eyes catch the hand that’s wrapped around Yoongi’s waist, creating another crack in his already damaged heart.
/Even if it is the same Yoongi/, Jungkook thinks, /it’s not the same us./
“Hello Hyung, it’s nice to see you” he greets, and the voice stiff frequency that comes out of his mouth doesn’t feel like it belongs to him at all. He doesn’t need to look back to see their friends flinching the same way Yoongi’s trying hard to avoid,
but Jungkook isn’t one to easily hide his emotions that are scattered on the empty glasses and the burning hole that grows wider inside his chest.
Yoongi’s hand falls from Jungkook’s shoulder, and he never thought it would come a day when he would be glad to feel Yoongi’s hand detaching from his body, but the grip was starting to burn his skin and his soul and what little bit spares from his sanity.
"Hi Kook, this is Seojun." He says, and his stare doesn’t change, his stance remains the same and Jungkook wants to ask him what it is that he is doing, what is it that he’s looking for exactly because Yoongi’s eyes are speaking to him in tongues that he hasn’t mastered yet,
because this feels like an ambush all of a sudden, and even though it just started, he is already growing tired of a night that’s young but already doomed.
For the first time his eyes travel to the one that’s next to Yoongi and, to be quite honest, Jungkook expected to be impressed by the man’s beauty, but his looks are just above average and his eyes look vacant even when he’s holding Yoongi’s waist and smiling widely at him,
and there’s no malice in it but there’s nothing else either; he’s glad to be tipsy enough to fake a polite smile that has him swallowing the mean thoughts that ache inside his ribcage.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Jungkook” he just says, because the venom is starting to slowly take over his body at the realization that even though this man is no prettier than average,
and he doesn’t even come close to Yoongi’s radiance and smoothness and etherealness, he’s the one that gets to have him anyway.
"You're his childhood best friend!" the man beams at him with a bright smile and Jungkook tries to reciprocate it as best as he can, but it feels sharp over the edges and he tilts his head as he thinks of something to say;
his stare draws back to Yoongi, who’s intensely looking at him as if waiting for an answer, as if he’s calculating Jungkook’s every mood trying to find what’s hiding beneath the masquerade.
“I guess I am, yeah,” he answers with a calm that astonishes him, but his mind is being pulled by the fueled jealousy. He doesn’t stop looking at Yoongi while the words spill out of his mouth. “his childhood best friend.”
He turns his back to them as the words get stuck in his throat, he doesn’t care if it comes out rude but there’s nothing else to say and he can’t bare to look at them anymore. It feels alien, as if Jungkook is living in a nightmare that has just begun.
He senses the duo's presence disappears from his side as they start to greet the rest of his friends and it’s evident how the atmosphere changes as Hoseok pitch greets them brightly and Seokjin starts to joke around with them.
It doesn’t feel fair, that it’s all fitting in so effortlessly while his soul is feeling out of his body as the reality sinks in now that it’s tangible, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Jungkook calls the bartender again, asking for absenta.
If Yoongi came here to play with him, Jungkook’s going to make sure to show him that he can play this game as well. And if this is just a mere terrible dream, he guesses he has nothing to lose as everything is already lost.
The night goes on with the heaviness of the calm before the great storm, and even though Jungkook couldn’t be more aware of that fact, he still decides to enjoy what he has in the palm of his hands now;
which is a charming beauty and a couple of boys who looked at him with an interest which he tried to reciprocate as smoothly as he can, he’s still a bit awkward at it, he doesn’t know how to flirt or how to easily communicate with strangers.
So he doesn’t talk, he lets his body speak as his feet sync with the music, with his hips and his head and the hands of a nameless cute boy that’s holding him from the back.
From where he is standing he can still eye his friends speaking at the bar, Hoseok is cuddled into Taehyung’s chest as he’s talking to Yoongi and Seojun, while Seokjin seems gone.
There’s a hand still wrapped around Yoongi’s waist and Jungkook smiles bitterly, as he presses his back harder against the stranger’s chest with resentment and a desire to be found, to be judged by those eyes that he misses so much.
You have to be careful with what you wish for it’s what they say, because the gaze that’s fallen upon him is tainted with a fierce intensity that’s the opposite of what he knows; Yoongi’s eyes are like a warning, as if he’s daring Jungkook to go on with his antics.
He accepts it with a hazy smile as he gnaws his lower lip, grabbing the boy’s hand to manhandle him to his front so they are face to face. He can’t see Yoongi anymore, there are only features he can’t recognize and a pair of lips that don’t suit him right.
While he kisses the stranger, hands hanging lazily over his shoulder as the other grabs him by the waist, he dares to open his eyes.
He is equally pleased as he is startled to find out that Yoongi is still watching him, his cat gaze doesn’t falter but neither shows any particular emotion behind it, it’s just pure intensity fixed on Jungkook’s behaviour,
judging and analyzing and stinging right through him as a dagger that’s been bathed in deathly poison that starts to travel down his body with the smoothness of a silk sheet that drowns him deeper in a drowsy state of heaviness.
He’s not sure how long passes by, as the time plays with them and the substances don’t help his brain to stand into his right place; at some point, Yoongi looks away and there’s a sudden glimpse of disdain and a dust of disappointment.
That’s when the venom starts to turn dense on his cold running blood. Yoongi easily goes back to the conversation with his friends and his date that didn’t seem to notice what just happened between them,
but for Jungkook the situation isn’t as easy and comforting now, as the stranger is starting to ask for more and his body is begging for less as the delusion breaks down and the reality traps him, taking him back down to a world that weights with a loss that he can’t replace.
“I’m sorry” he mumbles, as he pushes the stranger away. He doesn’t look at his face, he doesn’t want to remember him, he hopes he’s drunk enough to forget all of this. “I have to go, sorry.”
His feet are unstable over the ground that’s vibrating with the rhythm of the music and the dancing bodies that come and go under the flashing lights, he thinks he’s going to throw up right over a girl that crosses in front of him making him stumble,
but she helps him to get back on his feet with a worrying glance, he gladly smiles at her as he makes the last steps towards the bathroom aisle.
There’s just one guy getting off a stall and Jungkook’s glad no one else but that random stranger is going to hear him as the fluids come out of his body with the flashing reminders of Yoongi’s heavy stare as the stranger’s rough hands searched all over his body;
he can feel it all now as if the aftershock hits heavier than the moment itself, as if his soul was possessed by the woken demons crafted by resentment and greed and bitterness.
His body shakes with surprise as a hand gently wraps around his locks and cold water splashes down his bare neck. He lets go of the last remains of substance and breathes heavily, letting his body sit over his bent feet as he tries to recompose his agitated bones.
A tissue smoothly cleans the remains on the commissure of his lips and Jungkook smiles hazily, still a bit gone while keeping his eyes closed;
he doesn’t want to open them, it’s nice to pretend the gentle stranger is someone else, so he lets it slide as the hand on his strands travels slowly down his nape to caress the wet skin with tender fingertips.
“Do you feel better now? You’ve always been a lightweight,” Jungkook smile fades instantly as the rough, yet smooth and worried timbre slaps him with a raging force. He opens his eyes widely, surprised at the sight that’s a few centimetres in front of him.
Yoongi’s smile is fond and in his gaze, there is a glimpse of affection. Jungkook’s heart shatters with longing, and as he aches he doesn’t have time to be embarrassed about the situation, Yoongi has seen him worse or so he thinks, because Yoongi has never seen him heartbroken.
“Thank you, Hyung.” He says with a smile that even though weighs heavy and itchy on his lips it’s still filled with sincerity. The moment doesn’t feel real at all and Jungkook wants to grab him and wrap him in his hands and never let him go,
because this Yoongi will get stuck in time as each of the memories they built around the years that Jungkook deeply locks inside his heart in a cage that’s protected from all the bleeding and the spikes.
“Do you think you can get up?” he asks, and he nods as their hands wrap tightly. Jungkook’s eyes are locked in their hold, Yoongi gets himself on his feet first and Jungkook follows him slowly,
not wanting to let go of the warm touch that’s sparkling a static that makes him feel as if he has come back to life again.
When he’s stable, his body towers over Yoongi’s frame inside the tiny cubicle that has them both trapped in a timeless capsule. His eyes are gentle and knowing as if they are reading every last bit of his soul and Jungkook’s arms physically ache to hug him,
his mouth begs to speak, his soul disarms inside his ribcage. But his mind comes back to his senses, as he slowly sobers up he remembers the trigger of this whole situation and he instantly backs away from Yoongi,
pushing the door open and rushing to the sink, letting the cold water run and splashing it over his face maniacally. He rubs his eyes and pushes his long locks back with his wet hands to try to shake away the drowsy feeling growing up in his stomach.
As the clarity sinks in, Jungkook remembers it is friday night, and he duels and smirks with bitterness at the realization.
They shouldn't be here, but it's where the universe and their actions led them to, is where they deserve to be as much as he aches to rewind time like a tape of his favourite memories with him.
"Can we talk?" Yoongi’s pitch sounds wary as if he’s speaking to a prey that’s about to run away. Jungkook realizes that they are all alone, which makes it better somehow, but harder to avoid how immense the situation starts to grow on his chest.
He looks at himself in the mirror and the image he sees makes his stomach twitch, the stare that looks back at him is empty and devoid and it doesn’t feel like himself;
Jungkook cleans his face one more time, closing his eyes with a force that maybe will make the one standing behind him disappear.
When he opens his eyes once again, of course, Yoongi is still standing there. He’s kneeling on the wall between the cubicles with his hands crossed over his chest and brows raised with expectation,
the shy and cautious demeanour vanished as he is waiting for Jungkook to finally give something back. This is not the Yoongi that was taking care of him seconds ago, this is the Yoongi that was watching his every move and analyzing the darkest parts of his soul.
"What do we need to talk about?" he asks, trying to sound collected, but somehow he still truly wanders what is it that Yoongi wants to speak about,
because the things were clearly put on the table the moment he started dating that standard-looking boy that doesn’t even come close to Yoongi’s beauty and radiance; but that’s not something that Jungkook can mention out loud, it’s already too late for that.
"You're avoiding me." He declares, and Jungkook raises his brows at him over the mirror. He shifts his body so he’s finally facing Yoongi, who’s still staring at him with a sharp gaze that’s determined to get something out of the situation.
And Jungkook is tired, he doesn’t think he has much else to give.
"You're on a date, you shouldn't be paying attention to what I do." Jungkook states and Yoongi’s brows raise at the statement as his arms fall down next to his torso, he rushedly starts to walk closer to stand right in front of him
and Jungkook feels like he’s going to explode at any given moment, as the tension of the solitude and the pent-up emotions that make the static flow between them light up a fire that cages them in a world where they would have to burn themselves to get out from.
"I still do." It comes in a whisper and Jungkook’s heart sinks down at the thought of Yoongi being drawn by him, even when there was another person to whom his eyes should be laying.
"Why?" Jungkook’s voice comes out breathless, and his mind is rushing with so many possibilities and even through all the mix of sensations that sprint through his mind,
even through the agony and the wrath and the adoration, all he wants to do at the end is kiss Yoongi until none of them can breathe properly anymore.
"Because…” Yoongi takes a deep breath while Jungkook loses his capability to do so “because you're my best friend and I feel like I'm losing you."
The cynic laughter that he lets out startles him as well, but it’s not something he can’t contain anymore. There’s still some substance in him to be disinhibited enough;
there’s a transparent confusion in Yoongi’s gaze as if he is searching for Jungkook, who’s now painted with a sceptical smile and a cold stare.
"You should go back to him, Hyung. The guy is probably waiting for you” he tries to end the conversation before everything turns a darker turn, before his heart shatters on a dirty bathroom floor, before Yoongi stabs another venomous dagger through his already weakened heart.
"And what about the guy you kissed?" His demeanour changes all over again as if he’s trying to match Jungkook’s, as if he’s trying to defy him with a stern pitch that has Jungkook’s blood boiling under his skin.
Yoongi doesn’t get to be mad at him for living his life, not when Jungkook gave him a free pass to do it himself, not when he is so happy with it while all there’s left for Jungkook is memories from which he’ll have to live by.
"What? Are you really asking me this? What the fuck about it?" He’s shouting now, and he doesn’t care if one of the security guys hears him scream and takes him out of the bar.
Actually, he would be glad because that would mean that this useless conversation that is doing more damage than good would finally end.
"You shouldn't be kissing strangers.” Yoongi’s tone doesn’t raise, but Jungkook can tell exactly when he gets mad by the way his voice goes an octave lower,
by the way Yoongi’s fists grab his shirt to push him closer as if daring Jungkook to physically back off, or to fight until one of them falls down.
Their chests are glued together and Jungkook is afraid that Yoongi will feel his heartbeat racing, Jungkook is afraid that his heart will pop out of his chest and explode all over them.
The bubble bursts in a matter of seconds and he laughs spitefully at him, Yoongi just blankly stares at him as if waiting for Jungkook's reaction, and it seems as if this conversation was built over Yoongi’s intention of getting something out of him.
He wishes he could be strong enough not to give him what he wants, but Yoongi always know what buttons to press and he didn’t have to use the wrongs now,
not until now that his impulsivity and his rage are set to rise nourished by the words and stares and the rough hands that are still holding onto him with defiance.
"Who do you think you are? My mum? Fuck off, Yoongi." He spits, opening his eyes wider as his mouth forms a snarky smile. He shakes his head in disbelief, easily detaching from Yoongi’s grip with the force of annoyance and hurt.
"Who do you think you are? My mum? Fuck off, Yoongi." He spits, opening his eyes wider as his mouth forms a snarky smile. He shakes his head in disbelief, easily detaching from Yoongi’s grip with the force of annoyance and hurt.
"Don't speak to me like that, you’re drunk." Yoongi states, staring away from him.
Jungkook chuckles again, because maybe it’s all he has left to cope with the ridiculous situation that’s gonna fall upon him the minute he falls down into his empty bed, with empty hands and an agonizing heart.
"Speak to you like what?” his voice turns darker and his pitch goes down. Jungkook is aware of the shift in his brain that created a wall to protect himself from the situation,
“And what the fuck does it matter if I’m drunk? I know exactly what I’m doing, Hyung. And you're being fucking confusing and it's starting to get on my nerves, you’re not my older brother, you don't get to tell me what the fuck to do with my life and my body.
I’ve been fucking supportive of you with this guy you’re dating, why can’t you do the same for me?"
His chest is shaking and his mind is racing as Yoongi’s hypocrisy makes him go feral with madness and a thrill caused by the hitting realization that all of this was triggered by the fact he kissed a stranger.
He wants to push Yoongi against a wall, corner him so he can’t escape and dare him to say everything that’s running down that deep, mysterious fascinating palace of a mind. He wants to rip every thought,
he wants to put them in the palm of his hands and read until the last corner so he can at least grasp a bit of whatever Yoongi’s intentions are behind all of this situation that feels like perfectly crafted domino pieces that are falling down slowly, one by one.
"It's not the same!” this time Yoongi’s voice turns frenetic as it gets an octave higher. Jungkook gets startled by it, he is shocked by this new Yoongi who is flushed pink with distress and tainted with hopelessness on the edge of his piercing stare.
Yoongi has never screamed at him, and he may have noticed Jungkook’s uncomfortable demeanour because the next time he opens his mouth his voice sounds defeated and far away, as if he realized he has lost the battle already.
“I care about you and I don't want some jerk to hurt you... that’s all." He concludes, and his heart wrinkles inside his chest.
Even through the agonizing pain of the realization, Jungkook laughs with self-pettiness. He was right after all, Yoongi only sees him as a little brother, as someone he needs to protect just because they grew up together,
he has the urge to care for him because he knows him better than anyone else; and it’s disarming to put the pieces together, that Yoongi is only doing this because of this urgent need that he has developed through their years of a codependent relationship.
That’s the moment when Jungkook truly gets mad, because now he’s not only mad at Yoongi but at himself for letting even the darkest corner of his heart have a spark of hope that fades at the awareness of Yoongi’s intentions.
"I think I can take care of myself." He spits bitterly, and he wishes to be strong enough to walk away, but he waits for an answer and he believes he will always wait for it when it comes to him.
"Do you?" it’s barely a whisper, as if he’s asking it to himself; but he’s not, and it’s so patronizing that the last bit of Jungkook’s sanity spirals away with the question that he won’t leave hanging in the air.
"What? Do you think that because we grew up together you're entitled to tell me what or what not to do? Who do I get to kiss? Who I get to fuck?" Yoongi's face flinches at his response, at the way his voice grows louder and his tone gets rougher.
Jungkook hates to scream at him, but he’s raging and feral and he’s numbed by the jealousy and the embarrassment and the never-ending pining that fuel dark emotions that grow at the thought that this means nothing for Yoongi but just a scolding,
just a warning to the boy he is so used to taking care of in a fraternal way that Jungkook doesn’t need, nor wants. "You're not my older brother, you've never been. And if you think you're entitled enough to tell me what the fuck to do with my life, you should think again.
Because I'm being fucking supportive of you with this dating bullshit you have going on, and you're just being a jerk for no apparent reason. So I think I have enough right to say that I'm fucking mad at you right now, Hyung."
"Kook I-" his voice comes rushed and it sounds apologetic, as if he’s desperate to explain himself but Jungkook doesn’t let him go on, he doesn’t want to hear anything about it anymore, he wants to run away and hide in his nest until all this turmoil finally fades away.
"Don't be such a hypocrite, Yoongi.” He cuts him, and Yoongi’s face falls with something akin to regret.
And it might be, he thinks, he might be sad about realizing that he lost his presumed little brother, he might be sad that Jungkook is not a child he has to take care of anymore. “Go find your lover, or he may find someone else to spend his time with if you take him for granted."
With that said, he runs away from the bathroom. He hears a scream coming behind him but he doesn’t budge, nor does he look back too afraid of what he’s going to find, afraid that the Yoongi that’s begging him to stop is the one that Jungkook wants to kiss and clutch and die with.
When he is blocks away and his feet have come to a dreadful peace, he realizes that any Yoongi, the one that’s soft, the one that’s vacant, the one that’s hypocrite, he would want to kiss and clutch and die with.
48. back to suffering through the distance
51. Yoongi's pov because he deserves to be understood as well (or not)
56. yet so brave.
59. red flag
this is the end of the update for today, I hope you keep liking this story so far.
I opened a ko-fi since I'm jobless and broke, so you can tip me if you wish to do <3 also, my commissions are open!!! you can check the rules there or you can dm me!