Ugly Psychology truths no one wants to admit. I worked for many years as a licensed psychotherapist, and these are some of the harshest realities that people refuse to talk about. Let’s get in some trouble. 1 retweet = 1 harsh truth, so keep the chain going.

Male depression and female depression often present very differently, and they also tend to heal differently. But most therapy modalities are really only geared to help women recover. Many can actually make men more depressed.

Men are often demonized in the first session of couples therapy. There are two big reasons for this: One, women are usually better at articulating their grievances. Two, criticize a woman too early and she is likely to stomp out of the session. Men will just take it.

Bonus third reason: the woman is usually the only reason they are in the room, and she is desperately trying to connect with the therapist, and the therapist wants to keep them as clients, so encourages her as the “good one” to get them coming back multiple times

Men need to feel powerful to be mentally and emotionally healthy. Powerless men feel broken and afraid. Emasculated. To help a man feel better, you must help him feel powerful.

Most men would rather hear their partner say they respect him than hear that they love him. Because respect is an acknowledgment of the power he holds and the honorable way he wields it.

If we could make every emotional and relationship problem clear to men about why it’s a problem, what the solution is, and how to drive better results for everyone involved, most men would be more engaged in relationships. But most men don’t see these three things.

Everyone talks about how horrible the dating scene is for men today, but the picture is painted as if women love the dating scene. That’s because most men look at women and think they’re having a great time. But most women are miserable in dating today as well.

Men get retroactively jealous of a woman’s sexual past because they think about how much hypothetical fun they would have if they did what she did. But most women would trade their whole past for one loving partner for life. It’s a huge difference in prospectives.

The male suicide rate is not about wanting to die. It’s about feeling powerless, hopeless, and helpless for way too long. To fix it, we have to make life more appealing than the peace of death. We have to give men power over their lives.

Women think that having sex with a man on the first date will bond him to her. But that doesn’t work with secure men or avoidant men. It really only works with crushingly insecure men who crave approval. And women don’t want to bond with those men.

Most men think the female sex drive works like the male sex drive. It absolutely does not. And if you treat it like this, her sex drive will fall off a cliff at about one year and you’ll think you did something wrong. Which you did, but it’s actually what you missed.

A woman’s feelings are enormously important in the relationship, because they indicate places where the bond is not strong. And women know this, which is why they get so frustrated when men dismiss their feelings as stupid and useless. She’s trying to help.

70% of divorces are initiated by women, but it usually follows years and years and years of them begging men to take their relationship seriously. Guys will get online and talk about being blindsided after 20 years of marriage but (usually) dismissed every possible sign.

Most people take psych medication to solve a problem that really exists in their relationships. They are unlikely to be told this by a professional.

Husbands who complain about having zero sex have no idea how the female sex drive actually works. He's usually (unknowingly) the reason her drive is so low.

Male depression is nearly always a result of learned helplessness, but health providers treat it like female depression and try to make men feel loved instead of powerful.

Daycare has been shown to harm the ability to bond and feel secure, especially for small babies. Their mental health outcomes later in life are impacted. Research proves this. Saying this out loud can get you fired.

Most people don't want to hear the truth. They want to feel good about giving up. They'll even pay for it.

Most people in therapy are there because of the people in their life who actually needed therapy refused to get it.

People are more likely to take a pill for years that they don't understand and don't think will actually help than they are to attempt even one uncomfortable conversation that could save their life.

Most cases of depression are a natural response to our broken society. We gain much of our sense of worth, purpose, meaning, and joy from our relationships. But those relationships have never been more systematically destroyed than they are today.

Most women communicate with men using methods that only work for women. When they don't get the response a woman would give them, they think men are rejecting them. They agonize over what they could have done wrong to be treated this way. Most men have no idea this is happening.

Most men don't know how female communication works. They provide solutions, which is what THEY would want, when a woman wants VALIDATION. When this is pointed out, most men assume it's untrue. Because they'd hate to receive only validation instead of a solution.

The female sex drive runs on intimacy. Intimacy depends upon emotional security and attachment strength. Both of these are dependent upon both partners working as a partnership. Even the slightest issue can derail the female sex drive. It's a great litmus test for a relationship

Most depressed men probably don't need medication. Even then ones who do need it need more than just medication. Depressed men need purpose, a mission, and the power to accomplish that mission. Give a man those 3 things and he can crawl over broken glass with a smile.

Most women are disgusted when they finally learn how the male sex drive works. Then they test to see if it's true, and when it is, they start to like the new power they hold.

Most young women who experience rape only recover when they accept that the rape was actually NOT PERSONAL, because the attacker was incapable of connecting with other humans did not view them or anyone else as a human and only as an object Women can then stop blaming themselves

Women tend to be happiest when they feel USEFUL to the people they love. They also want to feel TRUSTED with inside information about how you’re doing and what your challenges are, again so they can HELP and BE USEFUL. VULNERABILITY indicates huge trust.

Most therapists are not trained in attachment theory, which explains where mental health problems come from. They're trained on how to diagnose and treat but not how to fix the core issue. This is why your diagnosis is probably viewed as lifelong instead of fixable.

Many people reading the above tweets about men needing to feel powerful will view that as a negative. The ability to feed your children and keep a roof over their head no matter what the economy is doing - that's power. The ability to achieve a mission - that's power.

Many people today are terrified of the idea of men having power because their only frame of reference is abuse. Even men feel this way, which is why they shy away from building the sort of power that would save their life. Become an abuser or commit suicide = their only choices

Most people use therapy the way humans are meant to connect with our 5 safety net systems, which we retained even up to 100 years ago: Immediate family Extended family (kin) Family friend network (kith) Local community Religious community All 5 are now broken.

Chronic pain is often correlated with low oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that (among other things) is released in large quantities inside our good relationships as we interact, feel loved, and embrace others. Ongoing bad relationships afflict most chronic pain sufferers.

Many people who take multiple psych meds to manage their symptoms would be better off fixing their relationships to help improve their brain chemistry. Most mental health systems will never tell people this, because the system is mostly built to address symptoms.

Nice guy issues come from anxious attachment style. He grew up afraid his mother would abandon him, so all he knows is how to earn good-boy points and approval to avoid abandonment. That's never going to make any woman happy. Which is why nice guys finish last.

Most couples therapy is useless. Not because the therapy is wrong, but because most couples don't go to therapy together until one of them is absolutely not wanting to work on the relationship anymore. They're using therapy as an excuse to air their frustration one last time.

Suicide is not about the person wanting to die. It's about wanting the pain they're experiencing to finally stop. And only death seems to bring that hope. Solving suicide issues is not about making people want to live. It's about helping them find ways to end their pain.

Most people with lifelong chronic insomnia don't understand how this can be linked to their relationships. They just think they don't sleep well by nature. But many cases of chronic insomnia can be helped by working on deep relationship factors that lead to general anxiety issues

More children today are growing up with attachment problems that their parents don't know about. Most parents are not equipped to identify or help heal these problems. So their kids are headed for disaster.

Most women want to be validated not so they can feel superior but so they know they will be taken seriously, and can therefore help you during a crisis. The Grecian Cassandra myth (prophetess who saw the future but was always ignored) is most women's worst nightmare.